dramamatrix
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Bookmarked by dramamatrix
05 Aug 2026
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Summary
Castiel is extremely, irrevocably, annoyingly in love with Dean Winchester.
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Bookmarked by dramamatrix
23 Jul 2026
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Dean listens to Nina Simone, reads Anne Carson, and makes out with a dude (sort of).
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Bookmarked by dramamatrix
23 Jul 2026
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In which Dean is forced to deal with his trauma and come to a reckoning with himself. Also, Cas is there.
See notes for more specific Content Warnings.
*** *** ***
"No one hates you as much as you do," Crowley told him once. That's Dean's whole M.O. right there. His two fundamental truths are that it is his job to save everyone, and that no matter how many people he saves it will never change the fact that he is 90% crap.
Dean knows who he is. Yeah, he's done some good for the world, okay, he gets that. But deep down? The person he is inside is still worthless. Dean will never be good enough, never be any kind of role model. He's never going to shake that, so if that's what this whole seven trials angelic bullshit is about, then he and Cas might as well hold hands and drive off the cliff now.
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Bookmarked by dramamatrix
22 Jul 2026
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“There you are,” the Empty says, in Dean’s voice. It’s cold, like Dean’s eyes are cold, his expression set in contempt. It’s the expression Cas feared, he realizes, all the times he thought about saying it. Revulsion. It makes him feel sick in the way that goes beyond physical, here where there is nothing physical left.
The moment before it happened had been so sweet it covered up all the hurt. For years, Cas had been holding back those words, biting down on his tongue to keep from saying them. And now he had said it, and he knew that it was good, knew that it was worth it. But on the other side there is only this.
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In the Empty, Cas dreams of his regrets, until someone comes looking for him.
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Bookmarked by dramamatrix
21 Jul 2026