gentlecannibal
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Course provides advanced instruction in avoidance of the phenomenon commonly known as "jumping the shark." Prerequisites for this course include Introduction to Friendship, Contemporary Best Friendship, The Politics of Emotional Baggage and Cohabitation 207. Students may wish to simultaneously enroll in our sister course, Introduction to Non-Traditional Romance, but said enrollment is optional.
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- English
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- 48,844
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Bookmarked by gentlecannibal
03 Mar 2024
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The Merc with a Beak by Jenetica
Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types
04 Aug 2026
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Wade Wilson is the best merc in the business, and he knows it. When he crosses the wrong kind of withered old lady—the magic kind—she curses him to regret his cockiness in the most literal way possible: By turning him into a cock. A rooster. A male hen, of the chicken variety.
Peter Parker, grieving the loss of Aunt May and Uncle Ben, needs a change. That's what his grief counselor says, anyway. So he makes an impulsive and massive one: He buys a farm. He doesn't mean for it to turn in a rescue for broken things, he just... he can't help but love the animals that no one else wants. Thus, when he overhears a greasy, crude asshole trying to pawn off a rooster in the middle of a farmer's market, he doesn't hesitate.
But there's something wrong with this rooster. It doesn't crow at sunrise—which is the only thing Peter expects a rooster would do—but it does holler its tail off whenever Peter bends over. And it follows him around and clucks like it's talking to him. And it's weirdly good at killing the vermin around the house.
There's a mystery afoot. Peter's going to get to the bottom of it.
(The Beauty and the Beast!AU you never knew you needed.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 154,019
- Chapters:
- 25/25
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Bookmarked by gentlecannibal
12 Mar 2023
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And Words Are Futile Devices by SordidDetailsFollowing
Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel, spideypool - Fandom
11 Feb 2019
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Peter doesn’t think he’s lonely. He’s too busy to be lonely. He’s twenty-two, working on his PhD and holding down a shitty job at the Daily Bugle, not to mention his nightly extra-curricular activities. He’s too busy for friends, and he’s certainly too busy for romantic interests. And yet, shockingly, apparently everyone in his life thinks he needs to stop being an anti-social recluse and get laid.
So Peter enters the wide, wonderful world of online dating. He doesn’t expect to find his soul mate, or even a friend, and he’s definitely not looking for hook ups. He doesn’t know what he’s looking for, really, until one Wade W. Wilson catches his eye and captures his heart with risqué dog pics and a concerning obsession with cannibalistic serial killers.
This is a love story. A sweet, inevitable journey towards each other. There is humor, and melancholy, and a touch of both gravitas and levity to the weeks that trickle by. But really it’s just an account of the slow, magnetic movement of Peter towards Wade, and Wade towards Peter.
Translated into: русский
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 30,110
- Chapters:
- 9/9
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- 3
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- 494
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Bookmarked by gentlecannibal
23 Feb 2023
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scatterbrained and lost in love by jilliancares
Fandoms: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
17 Jan 2022
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“Who flirts with someone when they’re in a committed relationship?”
Wade gapes. Spidey’s in a relationship?
“I’m sorry,” Wade blurts. “I didn’t realize—”
“Whatever,” Spidey interrupts. He takes a step back, standing right on the edge of the roof. “You should’ve told me. It’s not fair to make someone think—” he cuts himself off. Shakes his head. “Whatever,” he repeats.
Or: Spidey overhears one side of a phone call between Wade and his daughter, Ellie. Wade's starting to realize that he probably should've mentioned he had a kid sometime in the last five years.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,874
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- 1/1
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- 16
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- 332
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Bookmarked by gentlecannibal
03 Feb 2023
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How To Get Physical by Wilt
Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types
05 Jun 2021
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"It happens on a rooftop, as many revelations in Peter's life do."
What do you do when you realize you have feelings for your best friend, who also definitely has feelings for you too? And how do you cross the line from friendship to something more when your body doesn't exactly fit the mold?- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 26,848
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 98
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- 2,429
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- 521
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- 26,155
Bookmarked by gentlecannibal
15 Jan 2023