hsu
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The Merc with a Beak by Jenetica
Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types
04 Aug 2026
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Summary
Wade Wilson is the best merc in the business, and he knows it. When he crosses the wrong kind of withered old lady—the magic kind—she curses him to regret his cockiness in the most literal way possible: By turning him into a cock. A rooster. A male hen, of the chicken variety.
Peter Parker, grieving the loss of Aunt May and Uncle Ben, needs a change. That's what his grief counselor says, anyway. So he makes an impulsive and massive one: He buys a farm. He doesn't mean for it to turn in a rescue for broken things, he just... he can't help but love the animals that no one else wants. Thus, when he overhears a greasy, crude asshole trying to pawn off a rooster in the middle of a farmer's market, he doesn't hesitate.
But there's something wrong with this rooster. It doesn't crow at sunrise—which is the only thing Peter expects a rooster would do—but it does holler its tail off whenever Peter bends over. And it follows him around and clucks like it's talking to him. And it's weirdly good at killing the vermin around the house.
There's a mystery afoot. Peter's going to get to the bottom of it.
(The Beauty and the Beast!AU you never knew you needed.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 154,019
- Chapters:
- 25/25
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 1,907
- Kudos:
- 3,556
- Bookmarks:
- 927
- Hits:
- 73,473
Bookmarked by hsu
08 Aug 2026
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OnlyFins by thistleraven
Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types
24 May 2024
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Summary
It’s an accident.
Okay—that’s a lie. One doesn’t go about selling pictures of their junk on the internet accidentally. But it wasn’t supposed to be real. It was a stupid little bet, and actually, it’s all Mary Jane’s fault.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 24,575
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Comments:
- 235
- Kudos:
- 2,187
- Bookmarks:
- 461
- Hits:
- 14,605
Bookmarked by hsu
08 Aug 2026
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Summary
Four years after the beetle probes reach Earth, the internet inadvertently gets ahold of the Hail Mary’s video logs.
Chaos reigns.
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,459
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 7
- Comments:
- 276
- Kudos:
- 5,120
- Bookmarks:
- 772
- Hits:
- 25,507
Bookmarked by hsu
24 Jul 2026
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The things we bring home from war by HolisticMistake
Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types
28 Jun 2026
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Summary
Spider-Man and Deadpool have an uneasy truce that allows them to coexist in the same city despite their differences. Then Peter accidentally brings Deadpool home, one shiny piece at a time.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 21,776
- Chapters:
- 17/17
- Comments:
- 643
- Kudos:
- 1,312
- Bookmarks:
- 206
- Hits:
- 11,088
Bookmarked by hsu
05 Jul 2026
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then out of nowhere, somebody comes and hits you with an ooh la la la, ooh la la la, ooh la la la, ooh by three-fingered (calciseptine)
Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types
17 Jun 2023
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Summary
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A man with spider-themed superpowers accidentally breaks into Wade's apartment.
or, that fic in which Wade shoots at a shadow, makes a twink some pancakes, attempts to read several scientific papers, orders a dozen bagels and winds up with fourteen, is accused of smoking too much weed, falsifies medical documents, eats churros in Central Park, sings opera, encounters a dead-end, pretends he's filming a movie about ninjas and wizards, and—somewhere along the way—meets the love of his life.
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- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 49,415
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 578
- Kudos:
- 3,040
- Bookmarks:
- 714
- Hits:
- 32,800
Bookmarked by hsu
04 Jul 2026