phoewithab
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Eddie can’t move. Like this, Buck is illuminated by the sunlight streaming through the window; dust motes shimmering around his head, his hair haloed in gold. Beautiful, Eddie thinks. And to his surprise, he doesn’t feel any sort of guilt about doing so.
Except — he should. Because Buck is dating Tommy, and he’s happy, and Eddie would rather go to his grave repressed and miserable than ever take away from Buck’s happiness.
Or: Eddie starts to untangle his complicated feelings about himself, and Buck. Mainly Buck.
- Language:
- English
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- 56,474
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- 4/4
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- 472
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Bookmarked by phoewithab
21 Sep 2026
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And here’s the thing. If Buck was paying just a little more attention, he probably would’ve clocked what the pain in his middle meant a lot sooner. It wouldn’t change the outcome, sure, but he’d at least be ahead of the curve.
The worst part is that it’s all rather obvious in retrospect, because the signs are all there. The flickering lights. The gymnasium air rippling and warping like heat off pavement. The dark patches on everyone’s suits and dresses.
He should’ve seen it.
But all he sees is Eddie. Everything else is just white noise and set dressing.
—
Or: Buck's never been to prom.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 22,115
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
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- 107
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- 952
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- 260
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Bookmarked by phoewithab
12 Sep 2026
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“You said you talked to Hen about”—Ravi makes a vague, conjuring gesture, even though Eddie can’t see it—“all this yesterday, right? She dresses the best out of all of us. You should ask her for fashion advice.”
“I tried.” Eddie huffs. “She said, verbatim, ‘I’m not your gay Yoda.’”
With that, the fitting room stall’s lock finally clicks open, the door swinging open with a muted groan. Eddie steps out, arms spread wide. “Alright. What do we think?”
From an objective standpoint, he looks good. He looks really good. Objectively speaking.
From a subjective standpoint, he looks like someone Buck wants to pin against the nearest surface and fuck until they’re both stupid.
“Handsome, you are,” Buck croaks.
—
Or: Eddie comes out to Buck and takes him clothes shopping.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 32,818
- Chapters:
- 1/1
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- 1
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- 267
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Bookmarked by phoewithab
11 Sep 2026
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eddie's not entirely sure he believes in getting help, at least not for himself. there's only so much healing to be had for a body torn apart by bullets, for a mind that's only half there, for a man who's been leaving pieces of himself behind all his life with nothing to take their place.
except, as it turns out, falling apart happens in increments, and healing does, too: it happens when you gnaw a hole in your lip trying to keep quiet only to have the words escape; when you realize that the ghost you've been seeing out of the corner of your eye is yourself; when your best friend smiles, and you allow it to take your breath away.
it happens through the smallest of things: bird feeders, and cacti, and pasta shapes.
meanwhile, the world goes on.
(or: the entity often affectionately referred to as the unrepression fic.)
Series
- Part 1 of tell me about despair
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 148,982
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Comments:
- 1,408
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- 5,562
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- 150,709
Bookmarked by phoewithab
08 Sep 2026
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"Maddie," says Chim, pulling back with a very serious look. Handsome features drawn sharply, amusement contained in the twitch of his mouth. "Now that I've won the big game—will you go to prom with me?"
Series
- Part 1 of 9-1-1 ficlets
Bookmarked by phoewithab
29 Aug 2026