stassi_01
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Summary
After Chritopher leaves for Texas and with Captain Gerrard in charge of the 118, Eddie starts to feel himself begin to break and sink deeper and deeper into a black hole. The pressures of working under a racist and bigoted captain and the absence of his child, start to bring painful memories to the surface and feelings that Eddie has stubbornly ignored for too long.
Buck, on the other hand, finds himself navigating his newest relationship, trying to make it work, in typical Buck-fashion, in spite of the signals telling him otherwise, all the while trying to help his best friend.
_______________“You stayed on the couch on purpose? Why didn’t you just go to bed?”
Eddie was quiet for a few seconds, bit his lip and hunched himself over, making Buck draw closer so he could hear him speak. “I didn’t... I didn’t want to go down the hallway and walk past Christopher’s room. I was afraid that I would either break down crying right there in front of his door, or, or that I would go inside and never want to leave. So, I just stayed in the couch.”
“Eddie... he’s gonna come back, you’ll see. He’s just being a stubborn teenager right now.”
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“I asked you to do one thing. Talk to him. Make him stay. You couldn’t even do that! You claim you want to fix shit but you never fucking do it when it counts. You probably half assed the conversation with him so you can get home to your precious Tommy. God what did I even call you for?”
The silence was deafening. They stared at each other. Eddie was trying to slow his breathing. He could feel a panic attack coming. This wasn’t how he spoke to Buck. This wasn’t how he spoke to anyone. This wasn’t him. Half of him was begging Buck to leave. The other half was begging him to please stay. You know this isn’t me. You know me better than anyone.
Buck stood. He grabbed his jacket and keys and started walking to the door. Eddie's eyes went to the floor then. Buck stopped right next to him. He could see him in his peripheral vision.
“I guess you won't make the mistake of calling me again will you?” Buck whispered. He stood a foot away from him and he could barely hear him.
Eddie held his breath as Buck walked over to the door. He held it until he heard the door click shut.
His knees gave out and he collapsed to the floor.
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Summary
The entirety of this day seems like a dream. A weird, life-changing, terrifying dream.
Buck has always wanted kids. More than one, more than two, perhaps three or four. Children to dote on, to teach all he knows, to love and cherish the way he wasn’t.
But…NOW?
Is he ready?
Is he ever going to be ready?
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OR
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Natalia surprises Buck with a pregnancy. He's going to be a father. Obviously, it changes EVERYTHING.
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[Buddie endgame, Buck & Natalia friendship, BT breakup pretty much immediately] -
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Buck’s phone buzzes again and he checks it and winces.
“if you’re with someone else, just say it but i know you still love me.”“Oh come on!”
Buck practically yells.
Eddie walks behind Buck angrily just in time to see the message.
Without a warning he snatches the phone right out of Buck’s hand.“Eddie!”
Buck yells lunging up from the couch
“Give it back!”
But Eddie’s already typing with his knuckles are white.
“If this guy doesn’t understand boundaries, then he can deal with me.”
“Eddie seriou-“
“No”
Eddie shoots him a look.
“You shouldn’t have to deal with this crap. He doesn’t get to haunt you like this.”
He finishes typing and tosses the phone back.
Buck stares at the screen.
“This is Eddie I said leave Buck alone dude. Don’t text him again.”Buck blinks as he reads the text
“Well that’s..direct”
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“Buck?” Eddie croaks.
“It’s probably good I took so long to realize I’m bisexual, huh?” he tries to joke, masking a thin smile. It falls flat with how the upper half of Buck’s face still won’t stop looking so miserable. “Or– or we’d both be t-teen dads.”
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Eddies helps take care of Buck after his last relationship leaves a tag-along.
Series
- Part 1 of it's only happy if you want