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It was the library that told him his dream.
There weren’t that many words. There was a picture, a name, and a brief description. But that was enough for him to fall in love, to trace his fingers over the contours of the image, swirl by swirl, to have his thoughts occupied by his one and only, day and night. Eventually, looking over his shoulder, he held the page as straight as he could and just teased it off, bit by bit, as little noise as possible, as little tears as possible, and then it was all his. To take out and look at and dream and wish and hope until his heart ached with how it swelled and he had to remind himself of his reality.
At first, he fantasized about how useful he’d be. Think of the sneak attacks he could do! Or the perfect heist! He could even hide weapons from security checks! But in the end, he just wanted to disappear. Wipe his existence away. Just, have everybody forget about him so they wouldn’t be reminded of how much of a failure he was.
And then, miracles of miracles, it happened.
It was the library that told him his dream; a bit ironically, his dad was the one to realize it.
He had never seen a devil fruit before – not in the flesh, at least – and comparing it to the old, faded, torn page he kept, it looked much too colorful, too uneven, too rough. And it looked absolutely perfect.
The taste was indescribably horrible, but he ate the whole thing down to the stem so that there was no trace of it left. And, trying not to throw up, he crawled towards a corner and curled around his knees and waited to disappear.
The book said nothing about how to use a fruit’s power. And, looking at his highly visible hands, he wondered if it involved saying something, like a spell, or maybe just a simple statement of intention or something, but then he heard the hard footfalls of his father outside and he caught his gasp in his throat and, quite suddenly, he disappeared.
It had been a false alarm – the footsteps paced past the door – but that didn’t matter because finally, finally, there was absolutely no trace of Sanji left.
He had been lucky in his timing. Some soldier had defected, ran away, and so the fruit’s disappearance was blamed on him instead. Sanji felt a little bad that someone he didn’t know would likely be punished for something he did, but at the same time, the soldier would have gotten punished anyways after getting caught. And he couldn’t help but feel more bad about how this soldier’s disappearance was getting more attention than his.
It wasn’t surprising or anything, and it had been exactly what he had wanted (right?), it just. Felt bad. For a lucky break, anyways. When the kingdom broke formation to chase down the soldier, he sat in his room and counted the days until someone would come in to see where he was, only going out for necessities and books.
It took ten days. Which was seven more than it took to find the soldier and kill him out in the training grounds, under his window. And even then, he was sure that Reiju hadn’t actually been looking for him, but coming in to find the books he had taken. But she at least mentioned that she hadn’t seen him in a while to the others, almost an afterthought.
“He’s prolly just sniveling somewhere,” Yonji snickered, and it was a little embarrassing that he wasn’t too far off the mark.
“Maybe he’s makin’ those stupid cakes. Hey, if we catch him, let’s beat him up again!” Niji nudged Ichiji with his elbow, his grin turning compelling. Ichiji shoved his arm away and rolled his eyes, but didn’t say anything to the contrary, and Niji just laughed and was already running off to begin the hunt. It took Sanji his all to not throw out a taunt to say, you idiot, I’m right here, can the oh-so-mighty warriors not even find someone standing in front of them?
“When was the last time anybody has seen him?” Reiju asked, and the brothers could only shrug, unconcerned. Their sister raised her nails to her lips, but stopped herself from chewing right before. “I wonder if he’s finally run away.”
That was honestly the nicest thing Reiju ever said about him, that he had the conviction to run away, and it was an overestimation. Even now, he was a disappointment, huh?
“Does it really matter?” Yonji said, already following behind Niji.
Reiju’s mouth twitched downwards. “I’ll tell father. If you find him, be sure to let me know, okay?”
“Yeah, sure,” Ichiji responded, given that he was the only one left at this point. And the siblings separated, leaving Sanji in the hallway, and after a long moment, he allowed himself a laugh.
Sanji’s disappearance disrupted absolutely nothing. The only change in the kingdom were those that affected him alone – he didn’t get beat up and he didn’t get locked away. Not that there was nobody to beat up or lock away – his brothers could always find punching bags and his father could always find displeasure. Sometimes he’d come across victims of both and he’d freeze, staring at the scene until he got sick and risked running through the halls.
Well, there was one other change. Sanji didn’t hear his name said ever again. He wondered if they forgot.
But that seemed too ridiculous to be true, and nothing that he needed to be concerned about. So Sanji put that aside for now and slept all morning and went about his business at night, still wearing his invisible skin. He cooked his meals quickly, edged by the walls quickly, even took his showers quickly – too fast to even get a good look at himself when the water painted his skin back. He could try getting revenge, pull pranks on his siblings, but what if he got caught? Or they figured him out and went on a manhunt? Nothing before would even compare to what they would do if they ever found him. And despite that, he could not think about living anywhere else. And so he stayed.
The air was thick with the smell of confectionery, and it was too bad he couldn’t go out or risk getting stranded in a land of strangers or being revealed by his own footprints. But those visiting the fairy tale land outside often came back with samples, and he nibbled at them whenever he had the chance, not enough to be noticeable. How could a town ever be made of chocolate? How would it stay solid on a hot day, how would your shoes not scuff the walkways or sink into the surface, and what if a hungry sea king came by? He stared out his window, kicking his legs over the edge and wondering at the people who called this normal.
Well, they’d probably be amazed at him too.
This seemed like a land for vacation, but his father was here for business, of course. Something about an arranged marriage. Something about prolonged debate. Something about Big Mom.
“Reiju could do it, there’s probably plenty of guys there!”
Reiju shot one of her sickeningly soft glares at Yonji and said, “I don’t. Do. Guys.”
Yonji almost waved a hand dismissively, but took one of those rare moments to think better of it. “I just don’t get why it’s gotta be me!”
“You’re the youngest,” Ichiji said, standing askance, back to everybody else, the image of a man who had dusted his hands of the matter long ago.
“By seconds. Seconds! And I’m too young to tie myself down to some broad!”
“Then we’re too young too,” Niji pointed out with an unnerving laugh.
“Exactly, we’re all too young, so it should be Reiju – “
“Just how old are you implying me to be?” The smile on her face was as soft as her glare and twice as dangerous. Yonji managed to have one of his rare moments twice in a row and shut up.
“It should be our useless brother,” Ichiji cut in, eyes briefly meeting Sanji’s for a moment, long enough for Sanji to almost scream. “If his sorry face ever turns up, then we’d have no problem. Even when he’s missing he’s a pain...”
Yonji’s sigh grated out his throat, obnoxiously loud. “He’s probably dead. Fuckin’, the one time he’d actually be useful...”
“That’s just how dependable he is!”
Both Reiju and Ichiji shared a private, blank look as their other two siblings shared a long laugh over the joke. Or, it might have been a joke. It was definitely supposed to be a joke at his expense, but he was sure a joke was supposed to have some level of unexpected surprise. Nobody would be surprised at his lack of dependability, if they knew him.
Sanji continued sitting curled up in the corner until everybody finally left.
The wedding ceremony was to be at Whole Cake Island and Sanji was legitimately considering whether or not to attend. His only younger brother was getting married, after all, and it seemed wrong to not go. But he had never actually traversed outside before (not invisible at least), and definitely not in a town populated with crowds, all of them going to the exact same event, and he would surely get caught; but, well, it was his brother’s wedding.
The plan was to leave long before the wedding started, sneak into the venue, and find an out-of-the-way area that wouldn’t have any people to bump into. The ground was soft between his toes, and warm, and he couldn’t help but dig his feet in every few meters. He even managed to buy a suit that fit him – or, grab a suit and leave some money behind. Not that anybody would see, but his current clothes were starting to feel uncomfortably tight anyways, so he was due for a change. He even dared to pluck a cherry off a windowsill and spat the pit into a bush, and if he ever made a cake like this, he’d probably be over the moon with pride. As much as the stories painted Big Mom a monstrous creature, someone who created a kingdom like this had to be lovely in some way.
It was easy to find the wedding venue, given the decorations, and Sanji deliberated for a moment before deciding that nobody would likely watch from a tree, and he climbed into the branches as quietly as he could and waited.
The ceremony was rather beautiful, up until some kid crashed the wedding by literally crashing into the altar.
Standing on the priest, the kid held on to his hat and said, “Where’s that rock!”
In all the confusion that followed, Sanji found himself back in a castle. Not his castle, though, which was unfortunate, and worst of all, when he tried to find the exit again, he instead ran into that hat kid. Not literally – he’d had enough practice avoiding physical touch that avoiding one kid was a piece of not-island-sized cake – but his arm got grabbed anyways and the kid hollered back, “Hey! There’s a guy here!”
“Uh. Really?” and with a start he noticed that the kid had friends, one of which was huge and obviously more metal that human.
“I don’t see anything,” said another, his nose too long to be a human’s either. The kid looked like an idiot, and maybe if he just stayed completely silent, they’d just think the kid was crazy and dismiss the idea.
Or the kid could literally pick him up and fling him towards his friends, that too.
The long nose screeched and fell over once they collided, and both of them hit a corner of the robot’s arm and they lay on the floor, hissing.
“See?” said the kid.
“Luffy,” the long nose whined, halfway on his feet again, “you can’t just throw invisible guys at – holy shit it’s an invisible guy what the hell.”
Despite the headache, he scrabbled to his feet and ran, only to be grabbed again by the floor and he hit his increasingly unfortunate face on the ground.
A woman he hadn’t noticed before stepped in front of the giant, hulking robot and wait a second the floor just grabbed him, what, that’s??
He grabbed at the hands around his ankles, only for more arms to grow and wrench his grasp off. “It’s not so easy to make me let go, so you might as well show yourself.”
“I, uh,” his voice rasped, and he tried swallowing a few times. Did he ever bother figuring out how to be visible? Ha, definitely not. But the arms were starting to twist his feet so he had to say something. “W-wait, I’m not anybody, I just wanted to see the wedding!”
“Eh? Wedding?”
“There was a wedding in process when we intruded, captain.”
“Oh. Then there’s cake, right?”
“Luffy...the whole island is a cake.”
“Back to the invisibro,” said the robot, “you okay? You sound a little...dry.”
“I’m...not used to talking.”
“A useful trait for a spy,” said the woman, and he tried to backtrack only to start a coughing fit. “What is your name? Why are you here? What is your purpose?”
“Jeez Robin, lay easy, wouldja?” But the woman grew several other arms and forcibly felt out his face.
She paused. “He has a curly eyebrow.
While the other faces went grim, the boy called Luffy guffawed. “Oh yeah! The curly guys! Wait, does that mean we gotta beat him up?”
Oh fuck. “No, no no no, I, I’m not here to do anything! You can let me go, really, I’ll just leave you alone!”
Luffy started laughing again. “He’s more of a coward than Usopp!”
“Hey,” both him and presumably Usopp said, only one of them ending in another coughing fit. Usopp hummed, thumb to his chin. “If he’s one of the curly brows...maybe that means...are you Sanji?”
He paused at the sound; Sanji. As a name it was familiar, but he could only hear it as a word first, two syllables, San, ji, one after another, definition, him.
“Huh? How’dja figure?”
“Well, there was a one guy, a two guy, and a four guy, so I was wondering where the three guy was. I guess this might be him?” Usopp gestured vaguely at Robin’s arms rather than at Sanji himself.
“Oh. So I should beat him up?”
“Actually, I kinda feel sorry for him...”
“You can’t even see his face,” said Robin, her tone flat.
“But he sounds super,” the robot raised a hand, had another hand come out of that hand, and wavered it side to side, “sad.”
Robin very visibly rolled her eyes and started patting Sanji down, ignoring the shy ‘eeps’ that’d pop up once in a while. “No weapons. Physique is...” She bit her lip. “Lacking. I suppose he poses little risk.”
“So you’ll let me go?” Sanji asked, like a fool.
They didn’t let him go, instead misusing him as a hostage despite his protests. They thought it would give them an advantage. Funny thing, that.
Didn’t seem half as funny two ruined kingdoms later, sailing away on a ship full of people he barely knew, two of which threatened violence on their first meeting. Or maybe it was a little funny, just how life worked sometimes, funny how he kept feeling awful even though everybody kept telling him it wasn’t worth it to keep thinking about his family, funny how eight people was still too much for his socially stunted brain, funny how he could see the kingdom being dispersed in fire and snails and he still felt like he should be there instead.
“So you gonna stay with us? Or do you wanna drop you off somewhere?”
Looking out at the sea, smelling the salt much more strongly than he ever had before, he said, “You should probably...drop me off. Somewhere.”
Luffy frowned at that but didn’t get to say anything more because Usopp suddenly broke in to the conversation and managed to swing around Sanji’s invisible shoulders. “Hey, we just beat one of the Four Emperors! Let’s throw a party already or something! You said you could cook, right?”
“Oh. Yeah, a little.”
“Could you at least try being visible? It feels stupid talking to nothing,” said Zoro, who had laughed in his face when they were first introduced, so Sanji didn’t quite have a great impression of him.
“It’ll be easier if we don’t keep stepping on your toes or something,” Nami agreed. She was the one who got the first shot on all of his siblings, her voice crackling low and dark, a wrathful sort of kindness. He might be in love.
But letting them see him when he didn’t even know what he looked like anymore seemed much too private a thing to share, and so he excused himself and locked himself in the bathroom and gripped the sink, staring into the mirror. Once his face was visible he almost flinched back, because even if he knew he wasn’t a kid anymore, to have his previous image of himself contrast so much was just too jolting. Frightening? His face was longer. His skin was sallow. His eyes sunken, from what he could see behind his curtain of hair, which forced closed no matter how he tried to part it. His hair curled and knotted at the ends and his entire head could really use a trim, and perhaps his legs as well. He looked around for a razor and immediately cut almost every spot on his chin.
“How did you not even notice your hair covering your eyes?”
“It was invisible,” Sanji said miserably under the snip snip of the scissors. Nami was apparently a good barber, but that didn’t stop him from twitching whenever the scissors came close.
“But you could feel it, couldn’t you?”
Sanji shrugged. “I just didn’t notice I guess.”
Nami pulled back his bangs and snipped a little off the ends, then flicked at his head to get him to sit still. “Well, long hair’s not a bad look for you.”
“Oh.” Oh boy. Ohhhh fuck. “Okay.”
Nami whacked him on the head again. “I can’t cut your hair if you go invisible again!”
“Sorry.”
Smack. “And don’t apologize!”
“Sorry.”
Apparently, the crew had lasted this long on the Grand Line without a cook somehow. And apparently, Sanji was a damn good cook. And apparently, they liked him being a good cook, and apparently every time he got embarrassed he would go invisible again and that was sort of embarrassing in its own right and god these people would be the death of him.
“Did something happen to your arm as a kid?” Chopper would say, turning it this way and that with a touch that barely was one, eyes so wide and genuine. “Was it broken a lot and not set right? Tell me everything and I’ll help you, okay?”
“You don’t have to ask permission,” Robin would say, and he could see concern in the way she smiled. “The library is open to everybody. Normally, that’s the very definition of what a library is, so don’t worry.”
“You are not them,” Brook would say, soft and firm. He put every bit of emotion he couldn’t show on his skull in his words, and they hit Sanji with the same power as his singing did. “You are connected by blood alone, and that is a small thing indeed. I hope you understand that. It will be hard, forgetting them, but we all want to give you something else to remember. But also, we simply like you, Sanji-san. That is the only reason we need.”
“Looks like the next island got a town,” Luffy said one day. “You getting off or what?”
And his heart felt like it had drunk it’s fill and then some, it felt like it would squeeze out of his ribs and melt on the floor, all of them had given him so much out of so little and he was addicted now and somehow they all tolerated him, even liked him, even wanted him and he hadn’t known this was possible for a person like him and somehow, somehow, miracles of miracles, he wasn’t hated yet and he could almost think he would never be hated and he didn’t know if any of them understood that feeling of relief and comfort and a pure joy, and he didn’t think he could ever express it, because how could he? How could anybody describe something that had to be celestial, inconceivable, a reality that
“Saaannnji, you’re doing that thing agaaaaain,” Luffy whined, flopping on the table and stretching an arm out to grab at Sanji’s cheeks. “Say something!”
Sanji managed a laugh even with fingers pressing at his cheeks, and he took the hand in his and said, “Of course I’m staying.”