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2017-11-05
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Things your insurance won't cover: Kryptonian sisters in law

Summary:

Maggie thought she could have a quiet evening to herself while waiting for Alex to come home from work. Instead she kind of finds out the hard way why the Danvers sisters should come with a warning.

Notes:

I was slightly sleep deprived while writing most of this, so don't mind me. I needed to write something silly/fluffy in between the more angst-filled stories. Enjoy the read.

Work Text:


 

Maggie was startled by yells coming from around the corner of the hallway. She knew for a fact there was no longer an active threat present at the DEO, but it sure sounded like something had people in a frenzy near the command center. The yelling died down barely a second later however and Maggie knitted her eyebrows together in confusion.

A loud ‘WOOOOOOOSH’ came from somewhere up ahead and she had barely stepped foot into the command center when 2 agents passed her by holding fire extinguishers in their hands.

A few more agents casually strolled by a desk near the middle of the command center as if it didn’t contain the still smoldering remains of what Maggie figured had been a computer at some point.

Maggie arched one of her eyebrows when she spied Winn sleeping at his desk, apparently completely oblivious to whatever had reduced the computer behind him to a molten hunk of metal.

“Winn?”

Maggie huffed when he just muttered something about wanting a few more minutes of sleep and she shook him a little harder this time. “Come on Winn, wake up.”

“Wha..” he mumbled without raising his head from the desk he had fallen asleep on.

The keyboard had left some curious imprints on his left cheek and Maggie snorted when he blinked up sluggishly. “Maggeh?” he slurred while his eyelids drooped.

“Come on, snap out of it,” she growled while swatting him lightly across the head. For some reason there was no one else actively working in the command center and Maggie frowned as she tried to recall the exact words Winn had told her across the phone and why Alex hadn’t answered hers. “Or at least tell me where Alex is.”

“Alex?” Oh…” Winn rolled his head around slightly across the keyboard and Maggie worriedly glanced at the computer he had been working on when it beeped rather ominously. “S.. Sh’s over there…” he mumbled, not even bothering to raise his hand as he glanced towards the far corner of the command center.

A second later he was fast asleep again and Maggie shook her head. “That’s gonna be hell on your neck come morning.”

The corner of the command center Winn had directed her to was slightly darkened and Maggie couldn’t make out her wife’s silhouette at first. She was however able to make out her soft snoring when she got closer and Maggie sighed, figuring right away that it wasn’t going to be an easy task to get Alex home.

“You know I crack jokes sometimes about how you’ve been slacking off at work lately but this is kind of ridiculous, Danvers,” Maggie muttered while trying to think of a simple way to transfer Alex to her squad car.

She had just wanted to have a quiet night at home for once but the Apovarnian escaping from one of the DEO’s holding cells had put a serious wrench in those plans. Not that it could cause much harm other than making people fall asleep eventually, but it had still ruined her date night plans. Again. She figured 3 times in as many weeks had to be a record at this point.

She was just about to shake Alex in an, most likely futile, attempt to wake her when Maggie spotted a splash of red on the floor. Investigating it further revealed the crumpled form of Supergirl, drooling all over herself while draped upside down over one of the desks. Her head was resting on the chair, and Maggie winced at how uncomfortable the position seemed to be.

“The Danvers sisters ladies and gentlemen,” Maggie announced to herself while sending a look up at the ceiling and wondering what the hell she married herself into. “I seriously need to sign the both of you up for a crash course of how to stay out of trouble”.

She looked at the both of them again and sighed loudly, not having counted on Kara also being affected by the Apovarnian’s sleeping whammy. But she also figured maybe her Kryptonian metabolism would help with getting it out of her system faster and Maggie nudged Kara gently a few times.

“Kara...Kara come on, wake up.”

“Hmmm just one more potsticker, I promise,” Kara mumbled sleepily.

“Of course you’re having dreams about food,” Maggie snorted while tugging at one of Kara’s arms.

“Hmm what’s…” Kara huffed and tried to swat around with the arm Maggie had been prodding. Unfortunately for her it caused an upset in her balancing act on the desk and before Maggie was able to do anything it toppled over, sending Kara sprawling across the floor.

“Oww,” Kara grumbled as she sat up, her eyes blinking furiously while she grabbed at her head.

“Pretty sure the floor’s the injured party here, but okay,” Maggie said, rolling her eyes at Kara’s dramatics.

“Maggie?” Kara’s mumbled on a slightly slurred tone. It was enough of a clue Kara wasn’t entire awake just yet. “Where’s.. Hey...why am I on the floor?”

“Because apparently you decided that sleeping with half of your body resting on the desk was a good idea.”

“Hm?” Kara huffed and wiped at her eyes repeatedly.

“Never mind, look you and Alex got hit by some Alien sleeping...something and if you don’t mind I’d like to get Alex home so she can sleep it off over there.”

“Oh you hmm you want me to fly?” Kara mumbled in between yawns. “I can do that, I can fly. See? Flying.”

Maggie watched Kara cartwheel through the air and rubbed at her temples, wondering what on Earth she’d done to deserve this. “Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all,” she muttered.

She’d seen her share of people affected by all sorts of mind-altering drugs and there was no mistaking how Supergirl was as high as a kite right now. Maggie supposed the Alien spores or whatever it released likely affected Kryptonians differently, and while she was glad it only seemed to make Kara giddy and sleepy, it didn’t help her figure out how to make said Kryptonian stop from doing barrel rolls near the ceiling.

“Seriously,” Maggie groused while pinching the bridge of her nose, “mental note to self; let sleeping Kryptonians lie.”

“Oh no,” a voice behind her piped up, making Maggie jump slightly as she hadn’t heard their approach. “You woke her up didn’t you?”

“Uhm yeah..about that...”

She recognized the agent who had approached her and Maggie sighed in relief. Maybe she would be able to at least get Alex to her car. One glance at Kara backpedaling through the air revealed her to be a lost cause however.

“Agent Vasquez, right?”

Vasquez nodded and straightened up a little. “Yes, Ma’am. When Supergirl returned with the escaped Alien we noticed she was a little off, but Agent Danvers assured us it would wear off eventually before she fell asleep. She stopped doing flips through the air a little while ago and we didn’t dare move her from where she had fallen asleep.”

“Sorry,” Maggie muttered sheepishly, “my bad, I just figured she would be of help to get Alex home.”

“Oooh I can,” Kara muttered while floating upside down above them. “It’s really no trouble at all.”

“No, no it’s fine Kara,” Maggie responded quickly, “there’s really no need, you go back to...uh, whatever it is you’re doing.”

Kara scrunched her nose and yawned again. “I’m practicing my fighting moves, silly.”

“Of course you are,” Maggie muttered.

Vasquez gave her a bemused look and Maggie shook her head.

“I’ll get her home before you know it, you’ll see.”

“Kara no! Wait!” Maggie shouted. A woosh of air was her only response and Maggie groaned while hiding her head in her hands. She didn’t even want to contemplate where Kara had flown herself and Alex to in her state of mind.

“Uhm, Detective…”

Maggie saw Vasquez glance behind her and she sighed for the upteenth time that night. “She totally forgot Alex didn’t she?”

“I’m afraid so…”

“Well at least one of them’s temporarily out of trouble, considering how this evening went so far I count that as a win in my book.”

“Well Detective,” Vasquez spoke up after a moment. She glanced across her shoulder for a moment and sighed deeply. “I’m afraid I’ll have to cut this short since it would seem I have an appointment with our legal department to see if our insurance policy covers Kryptonians with pyromaniac tendencies.”

Maggie whipped her head around to stare at the unrecognizable pile of melted metal incredulously. “Wait Kara did…”

And then she realized just exactly where she had asked Kara to fly to and her eyes grew as large as saucers.

“Fuck…”

 




Maggie’s relief upon finding her apartment building still standing instead of being reduced to a pile of charred rubble as she had feared her entire drive over, was short lived. Because the moment she stepped out of the car she saw something red swinging around a few floors up.

“I’m going to kill your sister,” Maggie hissed as she pulled open the door and poked at her wife’s slumbering form.

At least it was the middle of the night so there wouldn’t be many people still awake. Maggie had no idea how she was going to explain away a completely wasted Supergirl hanging from the edge of the railing of their balcony, swinging from side to side, seemingly completely out of it.

She was exhausted by the time she managed to deposit Alex’s still sleeping form on their king sized bed but Maggie didn’t have a moment to recover. Just as she took a step towards the balcony there was a loud crash and she cursed and skidded over to the doorway.

“Kara?” She called out, unsure of what had happened.

Her eyes settled on the chunk of railing missing from their balcony and then she peered down and saw Kara face down on the floor of their downstairs neighbor’s balcony. She had taken out various plants attached to the railing of Miss Henley’s balcony along with the railing itself, judging from the crushed metal bits and pieces scattered around Kara’s sprawled body

Somehow Kara was still fast asleep and even from one floor up Maggie was able to make out her mumbling something about evil pizza’s.

Thudding her head against the wall, Maggie groaned, utterly exasperated. “Kill me now.”




 

“Miss Henley?” Maggie called out as she knocked on the door again. The doorbell was out of order and the first few cautious knocks hadn’t yielded any results.

She tried calling out a few more times, careful of not raising her voice too much in fear of waking anybody else up and she was relieved when eventually a light went on inside of the apartment.

“Maggie is that you dear,” Miss Henley’s said when she opened the door, dressed in a fluffy pink bathrobe. “Sorry, I seem to have misplaced my glasses,” she muttered while squinting and tilting her head from left to right.

“Yes it’s me, I’m sorry to disturb your sleep Miss Henley and I uhm...I know this is going to sound strange but..”

“Is this about that odd sound I heard?”

“Uhm,” Maggie scratched at her cheek. “Yes..you see we...uh,” she halted and wracked her brains trying to think of some plausible cover-story. “We had a...costume-party and my sister in law got really drunk and she fell down on your balcony.”

“Oh no is the poor dear alright?”

“She’s very...resilient,” Maggie said while trying desperately not to think of the sheer amount of property damage Kara had caused just by falling down. It wasn’t Kara she was really worried about.

Out of the corner of her eyes she spied Miss Henley’s glasses and she quickly snatched them up and pocketed them. She figured she could hand them back the next day, after likely spending a few hours profusely apologizing about Kara’s swath of destruction and claiming she found them somewhere. But she really didn’t want to risk Miss Henley seeing Kara up and close in her Supergirl suit.

Even with half the town knowing about Supergirl’s not-so-secret identity by now, she loathed to add more names to that list.

“I would help you with your sister in law but I just can’t seem to find my glasses,” Miss Henley complained and Maggie pointedly looked anywhere but at the kind old lady. “Would you be fine making your way to the balcony by yourself?”

“Yes of course, thank you” Maggie hastily agreed and immediately made a beeline towards the balcony doors.

“Goddamnit it Kara,” she hissed under her breath when she saw Kara still lying in the same position on the floor.

She managed to roll Kara over to her side, leaving behind a Kryptonian-sized imprint into the concrete and Maggie stared at it for a moment incredulously. “Well the DEO’s certainly going to have a field-day with this one tomorrow,” she muttered.

She prodded and poked at Kara but it only resulted in Kara requesting various types of food while refusing to cooperate in any form or way. Eventually Maggie gave up and she grabbed both of Kara’s arms and unceremoniously dragged her across the doorway and into the apartment.

She was aware that both Miss Henley and any neighbors that happened to be awake at this hour would likely have questions in the morning but she was exhausted and she was well beyond caring about anyone seeing her drag supergirl by the arms across the hallway.

“Ohhh I recognize her,” Miss Henley suddenly spoke up behind her and Maggie froze, having hoped the lady had gone back to bed.

“Uhhh..yeah she’s my sister in law I’m sure you…”

“No, no, no,” Miss Henley said as she steadied herself, grabbing hold of one of the chairs in the living room. “I’ve seen her before, those clothes..”
Maggie blinked and scrambled for some sort of excuse, any excuse. “It was a costume party we were just…”

“It’s alright dear,” Miss Henley said and winked, “her secret will be safe with me, no worries.”

“She’s not...I mean she’s...uhm..” Maggie sputtered, while glancing down at Kara and wishing for the millionth time her sister in law would wear a damned mask already.

“I mean I sort of figured something was going on when she opened the door in that suit one day. I must say it certainly resembles the real one,” Miss Henley continued while still squinting and searching a counter for her glasses. “But it’s alright dear, you don’t need to make excuses for her.”

“I…”

“There’s nothing wrong with being a stripper, truly.”

Maggie felt her jaw hit the floor. “Stripper…I uh...” she stammered while glancing down at Kara again. Though Miss Henley thinking Kara was a stripper certainly beat the alternative. “Yes, okay. Thank you for keeping it a secret Miss Henley.”

“Alex is going to kill me,” Maggie muttered under her breath while she dragged Kara further down the living room and towards the front door. “Good night Miss Henley,” she called out while she rolled Kara across the threshold, not waiting for an answer.






She woke up disorientated, a glance at the alarm revealing it had only been 2 hours since her head had finally hit the pillows and Maggie groaned. Some loud noise had woken her up and a glance sideways revealed her wife was still sleeping like the dead.

Which meant…

“Kara?” She called out.

“Uhm,” Kara still sounded a little off but less giddy than she had in the DEO so Maggie figured the Apovarnian’s effects on her were likely wearing off. “Sorry for waking you, I was just hungry.”

She knew Kara ate truckloads of food in her normal state and Maggie feared for their fridge’s content if Kryptonians also got the munchies.

“Thought I heard something,” she muttered while burying her face back into the pillow, figuring she dealt with their raided fridge in the morning.

“It’s nothing, really, I just bumped into something. You can go back to sleep.”

Kara sounded completely unconvincing but Maggie was too tired to figure out what her sister in law was hiding from her. Huffing quietly she snuggled into Alex’s side and fell back asleep.

 




When she woke up next it was barely 2 hours later and Maggie grabbed the comforter and pulled it across her head.

“Babe?” Alex called out again, still shaking her gently.

“What?” she grumbled out from underneath the covers before stealing a quick peek at her wife.

“I just got off the phone with Miss Henley, you know our downstairs neighbor? And she mentioned something about how we’re paying for a destroyed balcony?” Alex sounded incredibly confused as she stared at the phone in her hands.

“Did she happen to mention anything about strippers?”

“What?! No..why?”

“No reason,” Maggie muttered while rolling over to her side and burying herself back into the comfortable pillow beneath her head.

“Something tells me I missed out on a lot of things last night,” Alex spoke up and Maggie heard the rustling of the sheets as Alex got out of bed. “How about I make us some coffee so you can tell me what happened. And I do mean every detail,” Alex said in her Agent voice that shouldn’t make Maggie feel as flustered as it did.

“Uh-hum,” Maggie muttered noncommittally.

“Uh...Maggie?”

“Hmm?””

“Why is our toaster lodged into the ceiling?”

Maggie groaned and pulled the comforter across her head once more. “I’m going to kill your sister.”