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It is a slow night on Illios shore when Jesse brings it up.
“Y’know I saw a nice place not far from here. Seemed cosy.”
“What about it?” Hanzo asks, eyes scanning the rooftops above the shine and glare of Christmas lights. The town has been appropriately decorated for the season; there is song in the streets and a cacophony of sweet scents lingering in the air around them. The rest of their team is scattered somewhere along the walkway, browsing the market, as missions go, this one is almost enjoyable.
“I just thought, I do still owe you a dinner.”
That makes Hanzo look at him.
“You want to go on a date? Right now?”
“Why not? It’s not like there’s much happening.” Jesse shrugs. “’sides who knows when next we’ll get to go somewhere nice.” He has a point. They’ve been busy lately, it’s about dinner time and if anything does turn up they’ll have the rest of the team on the comms alerting them.
Jesse’s finger hovers near his ear, gaze questioning, and Hanzo gives a nod.
“McCree here. Han ‘n me about to grab a bite, let us know if we’re needed.”
“Sure thing,” Lúcio’s voice chirps from the other side just as Genji all but yells, “Enjoy your date!”
So. That happened. Jesse looks guiltily to Hanzo, who offers a cheeky grin of all things.
“I told him. He is supportive and also does not wish to hear any details.”
“Uh-huh,” Jesse chokes out, cheeks reddening under the fairy lights. “And you told him what, exactly?”
Hanzo laughs at him, sharp eyes and all.
“Nothing crude, if that is what you are thinking.”
His links his arm with Jesse’s as they make their way back, looking out towards the sea. The view is quite different from the one back at home base; not as open from where they are now, but breathtaking all the same. He can see ships on the water and then mountains in the distance, the night is so clear.
The place Jesse mentioned seems a little out of the way, but the smile he gives Hanzo is well worth the detour. They take a shortcut through a more secluded area and are walking up a narrow street when Hanzo notices them.
“I believe someone is following us,” he says quietly. Jesse removes his arm from Hanzo’s, wraps it instead over Hanzo’s shoulders and leans in close to whisper in his ear:
“Would you mind terribly if I kissed you?” Hanzo laughs appropriately and it is permission enough; they had discussed this set of cues beforehand. They reach the end of the street and stop in the open spot for a moment, Jesse is still leaning in so he places a kiss on Hanzo’s temple first. They turn towards the sea and appear to all world like two lovers enjoying the view. Then Hanzo lifts his head and Jesse leans in again, meeting him for a soft kiss just at the corner of Hanzo’s top lip. There is a brief moment following an unpleasant feeling, like stealing touches from a friend. It might only be half-pretend, but
It doesn’t count.
“Are they still there?” Jesse asks, mouth hovering just above Hanzo’s. Hanzo places a hand on his cheek, nudges Jesse’s nose with his nose as he peeks over Jesse’s shoulder. “I do not see them,” he says. “Perhaps I was mistaken.”
“Don’t that just beat all,” Jesse sighs. “Think we were recognized?”
“I am not certain,” Hanzo says. He looks away, it is hard to look at Jesse now. His breathing is a little strange, like he has suddenly forgotten how to do it.
“Would you be able to recognize them if you saw them again?”
“Perhaps.”
“Han?”
“What is it?”
“Are you feelin’ alright?”
Forcing the want out of his body is like forcing wet sand through a very thin tube. It sticks to his insides with the stubbornness of honey on cloth but does not taste half as sweet. Then, all at once; Jesse leans away, takes his arm off of his shoulder, takes a step back. Hanzo is flushed, and burning where Jesse has talked, touched, tasted.
It’s just–
“It is nothing,” he manages. Jesse stares like he is not quite convinced. “Come,” Hanzo says again and, after short consideration, holds out his hand again.
Jesse takes it.
After that he is relaxed in appearance only, holding onto the illusion of a pleasant walk. Following the moon with the wind at his back and Jesse’s hand in his own, quietly looking like he is always looking; soaking in every expression, every smile, every tiny gesture. The sky is wide, the way is clear and he is guilty, again, for cherishing these moments of
of
“Hanzo,” Jesse’s voice cuts through the uncertainty in his mind. “I know something is wrong.”
He could ask. The thing is, he doesn’t want to know. That would be worse than this because he thinks
he thinks
He might be wrong. He can’t.
He doesn’t say anything, so it is Jesse filling up the silence again: “We don’t have to do this now, if you’re worried.”
His heart sinks. He is so close to danger zone he can taste it, has to force himself to look away, to recover. Jesse had asked and Hanzo agreed. It’s a soft first step to something he thinks they both want; he can do this, he can.
“Sweetheart, I can’t tell what you’re thinking right now. Please.”
He looks at him and he can’t.
“I do not think I could eat food right now.”
Jesse’s face softens, he squeezes his hand once.
“Of course, sweetpea, we’ll stay out and keep an eye on–”
“No.”
“No?”
Hanzo huffs out a breath, looking sharply to the confused Jesse; he can’t believe he has to spell it out for him. He says, “I believe the safehouse will be empty for a while longer,” trying to get his meaning through a very pointed look. Then, dialling back, embarrassed with himself, “If that is... something you would want.”
He can almost hear the cogs turning in Jesse’s brain. Once realization dawns on his face Hanzo has to look away again, feeling his cheeks heating up in response.
“Honeybee,” Jesse’s voice is almost teasing. “Are you askin’ to skip the date and move on right to makin’ out on the couch?”
“I would not have said it quite like that,” Hanzo squeaks out, suddenly very interested in the way ahead. “On second thought it is a stupid idea.” He starts to walk and Jesse pulls him back by the hand he is still holding; should have remembered to let go, foolish. He crowds Hanzo’s space until Hanzo is forced to look up at him.
This time when Jesse leans in, Hanzo meets him for a full kiss. It sends shivers up his spine, a long, slow kiss, a hand on his neck, deepening without either of them having to say so. His fingers slide up Jesse’s cheek and curl into his hair, he doesn’t steal but takes what has been offered freely. All here and no pretence
This one counts.
“Mmm,” Jesse murmurs once they’ve broken apart, licking his lips still hovering inches above Hanzo’s. “Think you might be on to something.” Hanzo is about to bite at his mouth and make him sure of it when his comm sparks to life:
“Awful sorry, but hope you guys didn’t order yet! We got trouble on the southern dock.”
He lets out a small, frustrated noise that Jesse laughs over.
“Next time, sugar,” he says and leaves a peck on Hanzo’s nose, then reaches out to press at the comm in his ear. “We’ll be with you in a mo.”
