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If you’re to ask Wei Wuxian, he’ll say it all starts the moment he strolls into Gusu’s ninety-ninth precinct, five minutes late as usual, and is greeted by the sight of Lan Wangji wearing glasses.
(It, being the slow and life-ruining realisation that hey, just maybe, he may be slightly attracted to Lan Wangji. Just a little.)
Lan Wangji doesn’t even have the decency to wear ugly, thick-rimmed glasses that would complete the whole (hot) librarian vibe he’s got going for him, what with the terrible fashion sense and unhealthy attachment to his binders. Instead the glasses perfectly accentuate his features, and make his eyes seem even bigger and prettier than usual. (Not that Wei Wuxian thinks they’re pretty, it’s just an...objective statement.)
Wei Wuxian barely takes in any of the usual lecture Captain Lan gives him about punctuality and inappropriate attire (so what if he wants to wear a leather jacket? He’s a detective, it completes the look, unlike the stupid ties Captain Lan insists they wear), too busy unabashedly staring at his coworker. When he finally manages to extricate himself and plop down at his desk, Lan Wangji lifts his head to look at him above their computers and oh, oh no. The effect of the glasses is even more devastating when that unimpressed stare is being directed right at him. Wei Wuxian has never hated the fact that his and Lan Wangji’s desks are right across from each other more.
So, because he’s beginning to feel things, things which may not be entirely unwelcome, Wei Wuxian does what he does best - deflect.
“Hey, Lan Zhan,” he calls. He taps his own cheekbone and asks, “What’s with the new bling?”
Apparently unconsciously, Lan Wangji touches his glasses. “I lost my contact lenses,” he says. Then, with something like hesitance in his voice, “What do you think?”
Wei Wuxian blinks. “What do I think? Of the glasses?” Lan Wangji nods. Wei Wuxian swallows. Of course he can’t tell Lan Wangji what he really thinks, which is that they make him look so attractive Wei Wuxian is having trouble remembering all the reasons why it would be a bad idea to just lean over their desks and make out with him right there and then. So what he says is, “Oh, they definitely suit you - they make you look like even more of a nerd than usual, which I didn’t think was possible, but you’re always finding ways to surprise me, aren’t you, Lan Zhan?”
Lan Wangji nods once, then looks away. When he speaks, his voice is even colder than usual. “Stop bothering me, Wei Ying. Do your paperwork.”
“What paperwork?” Wei Wuxian asks, then notices the stack of unopened folders piled high on his desk. “Aw, man, when did these get here?” Lan Wangji’s desk, of course, is as immaculate as usual - he probably does all his paperwork the moment he gets it, Wei Wuxian thinks bitterly, as he probably doesn’t even know the meaning of the word procrastination.
“There were always there,” Jiang Cheng snaps as he passes by, “it’s just that there was so much shit on your desk that you didn’t even notice. If not for the Captain dumping half of it in the trash this morning, who knows if they ever would’ve seen the light of day again.”
“Thank you, Captain!” Wei Wuxian hollers, to which Lan Qiren roars back, “This is a one-time thing, Detective Wei! Clean up your own messes!”
“Ugh, so mean,” Wei Wuxian complains, ignoring the toppling stack of paperwork and trailing after Jiang Cheng into the break room. “Why is he so angry all the time?”
“Why do you keep giving him reasons to be angry all the time?” Jiang Cheng retorts, pouring himself a cup of coffee.
Wei Wuxian doesn’t reply, instead casting a quick glance around the break room to make sure they’re alone. When he sees that they are, he leans in close to Jiang Cheng and hisses, “Look, that’s not important! Jiang Cheng, I’m literally gonna die! You have to help me!”
Jiang Cheng turns to him immediately, wide-eyed. “What the fuck? What happened? Is it that case you’ve been working on -”
Wei Wuxian flaps a hand dismissively. “No, no, none of that! What I’m talking about is - Lan Zhan!”
Jiang Cheng’s brow furrows. “Lan Wangji? The fuck did he do?”
“He got glasses!” Wei Wuxian wails. “And now he’s really hot and I can’t deal!”
A pause, then -
“Why,” Jiang Cheng hisses, voice low and deadly, “are you telling me this?”
“To gain sympathy for my plight, of course,” Wei Wuxian says, snaking an arm past Jiang Chang and swiping his coffee. Jiang Cheng’s eyes narrow. He probably thinks he looks all intimidating, what with all the leather jackets and the ripped jeans and the combat boots and the knives. Unfortunately for him, he’s still Wei Wuxian’s little brother, and Wei Wuxian has watched him tear up over animated dogs. So that’s why Wei Wuxian feels no qualms about taking a long swig of the coffee before handing it back to Jiang Cheng with a grin.
Jiang Cheng grips the handle of the mug so hard it almost cracks. “If you think Lan Wangji is so hot,” he growls, “then tell him, not me!” Then he kicks Wei Wuxian out of the breakroom, because he’s terrible.
Pouting, Wei Wuxian returns to his desk, mood soured. It doesn’t improve when Lan Wangji refuses to spare him a single glance, not even when Wei Wuxian whines at him so much Sergeant Nie yells at him to be quiet. Despondent, Wei Wuxian sinks back into his seat, then realises what’s missing.
“Lan Zhan,” he says, “what happened to your glasses?”
Finally, Lan Wangji looks up at him. He’s still unfairly pretty, of course, but Wei Wuxian can’t deny he rather misses the new addition. “I found my contacts,” he says.
“Aw,” Wei Wuxian says, “but you should have kept on your glasses a little longer! I liked them!”
“You said I looked like a nerd,” Lan Wangji reminds him.
“Yeah,” Wei Wuxian admits, “but you always do! In a good way! And the glasses actually suited you.”
Lan Wangji scoffs lightly, but his ears are pink. He’s so cute. Wei Wuxian tells him so, delightedly. Lan Wangji’s ears turn even darker and he snaps, “Shameless.”
Wei Wuxian’s mood does improve significantly after that, even more so when around midday Lan Wangji’s glasses make a mysterious reappearance. Then, in the afternoon, when he and Wen Ning manage to bring in that serial shoplifter they’d been after and, in the interrogation room, Wei Wuxian successfully annoys a full confession out of him. And then, when he excitedly relays the story to Lan Wangji, the other detective actually smiles. True, it was barely an upwards quirk of his lips, but still - after that, nothing can put a damper on Wei Wuxian’s mood, not even the ever-looming pile of paperwork he’s yet to make a dent in. And then he gets to head over to the whiteboard and change the tally under the column labelled Wei from 64 to 65, while the number under the Lan column remains at a sad 61. So, all in all, a good day.
So yes, if you ask Wei Wuxian, he’ll say it all started with the glasses. But that’s a lie. If he’s to be absolutely honest with himself, it all started the day he and Lan Wangji had walked into the same precinct as young, wide-eyed, rookie detectives and did a double-take at the sight of each other, or maybe even back when they’d been cadets together in the Academy and Wei Wuxian had made it his personal mission to annoy any expression at all out of the unfailingly stoic Lan Wangji. (Is that why Lan Wangji hates him so much now? Oh, well - Wei Wuxian regrets nothing.)
Anyway, Wei Wuxian may be a little attracted to Lan Wangji. No big deal. He’ll manage.
Except, it absolutely is a big deal, even more so because November 3rd is rapidly approaching.
On that same day, exactly one year before, Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian had made a bet - who’d have made more arrests by that time next year? (Well, Wei Wuxian had made the bet, because bets are an essential component of any rivalry, which is what he and Lan Wangji definitely have. Lan Wangji had just kind of gone along with it.) Hence, the whiteboard. And the wagers? If Lan Wangji wins, he’ll get Wei Wuxian’s car. And if Wei Wuxian wins -
“If I win,” Wei Wuxian had begun, then, in a sudden flash of inspiration, “Lan Zhan has to go on a date with me!”
The room had immediately erupted into cheers and whistles, Nie Huaisang loudest of all. Even the Captain and Sergeant had appeared reluctantly invested in the whole thing. And, amidst it all, Lan Wangji had gone white as a sheet, and whispered, “I accept.”
(Lan Qiren will never admit it, but...maybe the bet was a good idea. Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are already his best detectives, but they’ve really outdone themselves this past year - and it reflects well on the precinct as a whole. If he notices that the two of them seem to work best when they’re together, well... he’s not going to be the one to tell them. Especially considering Wei Wuxian would most likely not believe him, the dense creature.)
One year later, on the evening of November 3rd, at precisely five minutes to midnight, Lan Wangji marches two handcuffed counterfeiters through the precinct and says to Wen Ning, who’s hovering anticipatorily by the whiteboard, “Change my score.” Quickly, Wen Ning does, so that now the score is 78 - 76, in Lan Wangji’s favour.
There are only three minutes left. He’s all but won at this point, and he knows it. Everyone knows it. Wei Wuxian has to know it. Right?
Wei Wuxian, lounging at his desk, grins lazily up at him. “Congratulations, Lan Zhan.”
“Thank you, Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji replies automatically. Then his eyes narrow and he says, “Why aren’t you upset?”
“Why would I be?” Wei Wuxian wonders. “I’ve won, after all.”
“You are going to make three arrests in under two minutes?”
“Oh, I’m going to do more than that.” Then Wei Wuxian turns and calls, “Bring ‘em in!”
Officers march in, accompanied by over ten sullen men in handcuffs. “Caught them all on charges of soliciting prostitution,” Wei Wuxian tells an increasingly pale Lan Wangji, trying and failing not to sound too smug about it. “So that’ll bring my total up to...what is it, Wen Ning?”
“Eighty-six, Detective Wei!”
“Indeed. And yours would be...what was it again, Lan Zhan?”
Lan Wangji doesn’t reply, simply glowers at him. That’s fine, though, because, as Wei Wuxian is only too happy to point out, there are thirty seconds left, and he’s eight arrests ahead of Lan Wangji. And even the famous HanGuang-Jun (a stupid nickname he’d unwittingly gained a few years back because of an incident involving fairy lights) isn’t a good enough detective to make eight arrests in the span of a few seconds.
And, sure enough, the clock strikes twelve, the scores remain the same, and Lan Wangji looks about as miserable as if he’d just heard that his favourite bookstore has burnt down. Wei Wuxian feels ever-so-slightly guilty, but it’s overshadowed by an overwhelming sense of smugness, and a strange twinge of what might almost be excitement.
“Lan Zhan,” he says, getting on one knee in front of the other detective amidst cheers and laughter (even Sergeant Nie seems to be rather amused), “Will you make me the happiest man on Earth and go on a date with me? Well, I mean, you have to say yes, but still...”
Lan Wangji’s face twists strangely, almost as if he’s upset - is the prospect of going out with Wei Wuxian really that repulsive to him? For some strange reason, the thought doesn’t sit well with Wei Wuxian. But finally, Lan Wangji extends his hand and grits out, “Yes.”
“He said yes!” Wei Wuxian cheers, and slips out the ring he’d bought specially for this occasion. He takes Lan Wangji's hand and slides it onto his finger.
“You bought a ring?” Jiang Cheng says disbelievingly.
“Yes,” Wei Wuxian says, straightening up again and winking at Lan Wangji, “because I intend on making this the best punishment date ever!” Realising he’s still holding Lan Wangji’s hand, he gives it a squeeze and says lowly, “Excited, Lan Zhan?”
Lan Wangji yanks his hand away like he’s been burnt, then stalks off to God knows where. Wei Wuxian cackles. This is going to be fun.
“Detective Wei,” Wen Ning asks the next day, “what are you planning on doing for your...date with Detective Lan?”
“Ooh, yes,” Nie Huaisang adds, “please do tell. My followers are extremely invested in this whole drama as well.” Wei Wuxian doesn’t doubt him - he’s already been witness to the full force of Nie Huaisang’s Twitter following, that time the precinct had almost been shut down and they’d all flipped their shit and managed to save it at the last minute. Still -
“What are you even doing in here?” Wei Wuxian asks him. He and Wen Ning had gone down to evidence lockup to file some of the materials from the shoplifter case, and Nie Huaisang had promptly materialised from the shadows the moment the conversation shifted to the topic of The Date.
“I’m doing my job, of course,” Nie Huaisang points out.
“What part of this is your job? You’re a civilian administrator.”
“ Am I?” Nie Huaisang asks, raising an eyebrow.
“Yes,” Wei Wuxian says. “There is literally a sign on your desk that says so.”
“Eh, no one cares about that,” Nie Huaisang says dismissively. “Well, besides my brother, but he’s out with Jiang Cheng on a case right now, so. I’ll estimate we have about twenty minutes for you to spill all the juicy details, Wei Wuxian. Besides, this all all part of my campaign to help make this precinct seem a little less like the cesspool of boredom it is.”
Wei Wuxian stares at him. “Why do you even work here?”
“To grace you all with my amazing presence, of course,” Nie Huaisang says, preening. “And also because my brother made me.”
Wen Ning clears his throat, unsubtly, and says, “Detective Wei, if you need help deciding on a restaurant, I have some recommendations.”
“Thanks for the offer,” Wei Wuxian says, “but I already made reservations at a place.” He loves Wen Ning, he really does, but the other detective’s tastes in food tend to lean towards the...bizarre.
“Where?” Wen Ning asks.
Wei Wuxian grins. “All right, fine, I’ll tell you. I am rather proud of what I’ve come up with, actually.” He may have been planning this for the better part of the last year, but he’s not going to tell them that. “So, to start off, dinner at that fancy French restaurant in town, I can’t even pronounce the name, that’s how fancy it is - and later! I found this rabbit cafe -”
“Is that...a cafe that serves rabbits?” Wen Ning asks, looking vaguely nauseated. “I don’t think Detective Lan would really enjoy that…”
“Of course not!” Wei Wuxian says, appalled. “I’m not going to take Lan Zhan to eat rabbits, he adores them, though I can’t imagine why. Anyway, when I say rabbit cafe, I mean it’s like a cafe that allows a bunch of bunnies to hop about and you can play with them while you eat.”
“Huh,” Nie Huaisang says. “That actually sounds pretty cute.”
“I know right? It's adorable. Lan Zhan will hate it.”
Wen Ning and Nie Huaisang sigh in unison.
“Anyway, that’s where we’ll be heading for dessert. Afterwards, I’m taking him to the museum because I heard there’s some special exhibit on ancient Chinese instruments, and you know Lan Zhan digs boring crap like that. And after that, we will take a very romantic stroll along the riverfront and admire the lights - Lan Zhan said he thought the view was pretty, once.”
“When was this?”
“Uh, three years ago, or something? Can’t remember. So yeah! That’s it! What do you guys think?” He grins at the other two expectantly.
Wen Ning and Nie Huaisang exchange a look with each other, then turn back to him.
“Um, Detective Wei,” Wen Ning begins delicately. “Please don’t take this the wrong way, but…”
“How exactly is this date supposed to be a punishment for Lan Wangji?” Nie Huaisang cuts in.
Wei Wuxian blinks. “Huh? What are you guys talking about?”
Wen Ning shifts uncomfortably, looking like he’d rather be anywhere else in the city. “Uh, well, the thing is, all these activities you have planned...they are things Detective Lan would enjoy, aren’t they?”
“Well, yeah, but -”
“Yeah,” Nie Huaisang says, “I think we were all expecting you to plan a pretty shitty night, like taking him to some hole-in-the-wall place that would probably give you both food poisoning. Or taking him to some nightclub and having a bunch of strangers grind on him. Actually, that would be pretty funny, now I think about it...”
To be fair, Wei Wuxian had considered something along those lines, at first. He’s not sure exactly why he had decided on a date as the wager of the bet - it had been a vague, half-formed line of reasoning at the time. What was something Lan Wangji absolutely detests? Well, Wei Wuxian, for one. Plus, Wei Wuxian has seen him wrinkle his nose whenever Nie Huaisang starts waxing poetic about his latest girlfriend. He also gets twitchy whenever Wei Wuxian flirts with people - this one time when Wei Wuxian had been chatting with a cute CSI at a scene, Lan Wangji had shot them a glare so cold the CSI had all but fainted on the spot and even Wei Wuxian couldn’t help but shiver a little.
So, Lan Wangji hates Wei Wuxian, and he also hates romance. So put Wei Wuxian and romance together - it was a match made in heaven. Or, well, hell probably, for Lan Wangji.
(And if Wei Wuxian feels his stomach twist uncomfortably every time he thinks about the fact that one of the worst things Lan Wangji could be forced to do is to go on a date with him - well. No one has to know.)
“I’m not going to take Lan Wangji on a shitty date,” Wei Wuxian declares. “He deserves better than that.”
“Oh really,” Nie Huaisang says, arching an impressively manicured brow.
“Yeah,” Wei Wuxian says, because the image of Lan Wangji being, as Nie Huaisang had put it, ground upon by a bunch of strangers is one he hates with a strange, irrational passion. “And, believe it or not, this is actually gonna be much worse for Lan Zhan!”
“How so…?”
“Well,” Wei Wuxian begins - he’s given this some thought - “all of the things I have planned are stuff Lan Zhan would normally love to do on a date, right? So if he’s forced to do them with me - well, they’ll be forever ruined for him! No matter who he goes out with in the future, if they decide to take him to museums, or rabbit cafes, or whatever - he’ll have to remember this date he went on with me, and it’ll all be spoiled for him.” As will this faceless stranger’s prospects with Lan Wangji, Wei Wuxian doesn’t say - he doesn’t know why, but for some reason, he really, really doesn’t want to imagine Lan Wangji going on dates with anyone else. Would they get to see his rare smile, too? Would they manage to get him to laugh like Wei Wuxian had, precisely three times in his entire life?
“Detective Wei?” Wen Ning asks nervously, interrupting his thoughts. “Are you...okay? You seem a bit…”
Wei Wuxian shakes his head. “Nah, I’m fine. But anyway, do you guys understand my rationale now?”
“Not entirely,” Nie Huaisang says, “but at this point, I’m really not sure I want to.”
“ Hey -”
“Your plans sound lovely, Detective Wei!” Wen Ning interjects. “And I’m sure Detective Lan will enjoy them too!”
“He’s not supposed to enjoy them!” Wei Wuxian whines.
“Don’t take this the wrong way, Wei Wuxian,” Nie Huaisang says, “but isn’t what you’re doing to Lan Wangji a bit...uh...cruel?”
It’s like a bucket of icy water has been dumped all over Wei Wuxian. “Do you really think so?” he gasps. “I mean, I always assumed Lan Zhan knew this whole thing was just for fun, but what if he takes it too seriously?” The last thing he wants is for Lan Wangji to have even more reason to dislike him. “Should I -”
“That’s not what we’re saying!” Wen Ning says frantically.
“Yeah,” Nie Huaisang says, “it’s just, given Lan Wangji’s...feelings…”
“Yeah, I get it,” Wei Wuxian interrupts, before Nie Huaisang can continue talking about Lan Wangji’s feelings for him - or rather, lack thereof. He really doesn’t need the reminder that, to Lan Wangji, all he is is that one annoying coworker who he’s being forced to go out with. “Look, maybe I should just call off this whole thing -”
“No!” Nie Huaisang says. “That’s not what I’m saying! Although, now that I think about it…” He smiles in a way that makes Wei Wuxian instantly wary, because in his experience, nothing good can ever follow a smile like that, especially not when Nie Huaisang is involved. “You’re being awfully considerate of Lan Wangji’s feelings, aren’t you?”
“Yeah?” Wei Wuxian says. “So?”
“So,” Nie Huaisang says, “perhaps your feelings for HanGuang-Jun may go deeper than friendship…”
“Huh?” Wei Wuxian squawks.
Wen Ning coughs. “I think he’s implying that you may have romantic feelings for Detective Lan -”
“I know what he’s implying!” Wei Wuxian almost yells. “But that - that’s ridiculous! Of course I don’t like Lan Zhan like that! He’s so boring, and he’s such a stick in the mud, and his face can only make like, two different expressions - how could I possibly like him?”
“He’s also standing right behind you,” Nie Huaisang says, wincing a little.
“What?” Wei Wuxian spins around and, sure enough, Lan Wangji is there, staring at him with an unreadable expression. “Lan Zhan, wait!” he calls, but Lan Wangji is already turning and striding out of the evidence lockup. Wei Wuxian groans. “Shit. How much of that do you think he heard?”
“Not that much,” Wen Ning hurries to reassure him.
“Yeah,” Nie Huaisang says, “just the part where you called him a boring, expressionless stick in the mud and said there’s no way you’d ever like him…”
“ Shit, ” Wei Wuxian repeats, feelingly. “I have - I have to apologize -”
“Mm, yeah, you should probably get on that,” Nie Huaisang says, as Wei Wuxian speeds off after Lan Wangji.
He doesn’t get to apologize, however, as by the time he reaches the bullpen, Lan Wangji has vanished - off to visit the morgue for one of his cases, Sergeant Nie tells him. But he’s working that case with Wei Wuxian - why hadn’t he waited for him? They were supposed to go together, weren’t they?
Wei Wuxian sulks about it, but consoles himself with the fact that he’ll have plenty of time to clear the whole thing up during the date tonight.
Except, there turns out to be just one minor problem. Namely this: the whole thing he’d told Nie Huaisang and Wen Ning about definitely not liking Lan Wangji as anything more than a friend? It...may or may not have been a complete lie. What is closer to the truth is that he might be kind of hopelessly in love with Lan Wangji, and, the more he thinks about it, might have been for years now.
Spread-eagled on his bed, Wei Wuxian groans loudly and smacks himself with a pillow. Ugh, why did he have to go and fall for Lan Wangji, of all people? Well, it’s not like Lan Wangji is such a bad person to be in love with, all things considered - yes, he’s quiet and a little stiff and really doesn’t know how to emote, but he’s also caring, and loyal, and perceptive, and adorably earnest, and a good listener, and actually does have a sense of humour, once you stick around long enough to -
Wei Wuxian has to smack himself again. So no, the problem isn’t so much that he’s in love with Lan Wangji - it’s that Lan Wangji, for all intents and purposes, despises him.
Well, maybe not - Wei Wuxian hopes they’re friends, or acquaintances at the very least. But Lan Wangji’s feelings for him definitely don’t run any deeper than that. The more Wei Wuxian thinks about this, the more his heart aches, so he just doesn’t. He’s picking Lan Wangji up at six, so he showers and changes into his nicest clothes, which really aren’t all that fancy, but he hopes they’ll be enough to keep him from getting kicked out of the expensive French restaurant. If he is, he’ll probably just flash his badge and try to worm back in.
However, somewhere around the time he’s trying to wrangle his hair into something presentable, he’s struck by a brilliant idea. Lan Wangji may not like him now, but! There’s nothing to say he can’t develop feelings for Wei Wuxian in the future. All Wei Wuxian has to do is, for lack of a better word, and because he spends too much time with Wen Ning - woo him.
The prospect is a little daunting, admittedly. But Wei Wuxian is nothing if not persistent - he’s a detective, after all. And this entire date has already been engineered to appeal to every facet of Lan Wangji’s weird, nerdy heart. All Wei Wuxian has to do is make sure Lan Wangji has such a good time tonight that he won’t object to other dates, in the future, and after that...well. He’ll get there eventually.
With this in mind, Wei Wuxian finds himself waiting outside Lan Wangji’s apartment building about half an hour later. In one hand he clutches a bouquet of roses - he’d passed by a florist’s on the way here and, in a fit of impulse, had gone in and purchased the largest, prettiest bouquet he could find. It had left a rather sizeable dent in his wallet, but he figures it’s worth it.
As he’s waiting on Lan Wangji, his mind cycles through increasingly dire scenarios - what if Lan Wangji’s allergic to roses? Wei Wuxian can hardly be called an expert on romance, but even he knows that having to rush to a hospital can hardly constitute the ideal date. That’s why, when Lan Wangji emerges at exactly five minutes to six, the first thing Wei Wuxian says is, “Lan Zhan, you’re not allergic to roses, are you?”
Lan Wangji shakes his head.
“Oh, that’s good, because -” is all Wei Wuxian gets out before his brain catches up to his eyes and he realises just what Lan Wangji is wearing. “Holy shit. ”
“What is it?” Lan Wangji asks, alarmed.
“You - you’re wearing a suit?” Yeah, Wei Wuxian had texted Lan Wangji to dress nicely, but he hadn’t been expecting this. Since when did Lan Wangji develop the ability to choose clothes that not only fit properly, but actually somehow make him look even better? And he’s wearing the glasses. This is - this is too much. Wei Wuxian cannot deal. He’s going to die on this date, and Wen Ning will cry, and it’ll be a whole mess.
“Mm,” Lan Wangji says, oblivious to his suffering. “Should I - not have?”
Wei Wuxian groans. “No, because now I’ll look like a slob next to you!” And you look so hot I’m honestly having trouble thinking clearly and I’m afraid I’ll slip up and say something extra dumb and you’ll hate me, he doesn’t say.
“You do not,” Lan Wangji says, then ducks his head and asks, “Should I change?”
“No, don’t,” Wei Wuxian says, then, before he can stop himself, “it looks good on you.”
Lan Wangji blinks at him, like he has any right to be surprised. “Thank you,” he says, then, “You look good too, Wei Ying.”
Wei Wuxian gapes briefly, before recovering enough to shove the bouquet at Lan Wangji and say, “Here!” At least it’ll distract him from the way Wei Wuxian is on the verge of combusting from pleased mortification.
Lan Wangji blinks at the bouquet, before asking, almost uncertain, “For me?”
Wei Wuxian laughs. “Well, do you see anyone else here I’m taking on a date, Lan Zhan? Of course for you! Do you like them?”
“Mm,” Lan Wangji says, and it might be a trick of the light, but the corners of his mouth seem to tip up just a bit.
“Great!” Wei Wuxian says, and then, because he’s got a lot of wooing to do and only a few hours to do it, “shall we get going, then?”
The interior of the car is deathly quiet. Well, Lan Wangji never talks much to begin with, but Wei Wuxian is having a hard time coming up with his usual mindless chatter to fill the silence. Every time he sneaks a glance over at Lan Wangji, he’s sitting straight up in the passenger seat, either staring out the window or at the bouquet in his lap. The only times he shifts are when he’s flinching at the ominous rattling noises the car engine makes (Wei Wuxian probably should get it checked out sometime, but he’s too lazy to.)
Earlier that afternoon, before he’d left the precinct, Captain Lan had called him into his office and threatened to suspend him if he ever hurt Detective Lan. The whole protective uncle vibe was obvious, even though neither the Captain nor Lan Wangji liked to call attention to the fact that they were related. Out of fear of people crying nepotism, probably, although Wei Wuxian thinks they’re worrying for nothing - anyone with half a brain who spends ten minutes with Lan Wangji will be able to tell that he’s more than earned his spot in the precinct, and his reputation.
So Wei Wuxian had suppressed the million smartass comments that had come to mind and reassured Captain Lan, as seriously as he could, that the last thing he wanted to do was hurt Lan Wangji. After all, the date was just part of the bet, and Lan Wangji knew that. For some reason, this last part had just made Captain Lan’s expression grow even darker, and he’d roared for Wei Wuxian to scram. Wei Wuxian quickly obeyed - the last time he’d seen that kind of expression on the Captain’s face, it was Halloween night and Wei Wuxian had just been caught stuck halfway through the vent in Captain Lan’s office. Needless to say, that hadn’t ended well.
Wei Wuxian suddenly remembers that conversation he’d had with Wen Ning and Nie Huaisang earlier - or at least, the part Lan Wangji had overheard. Something in him twists uncomfortably at the memory, and he tightens his grip on the wheel. Lan Wangji hasn’t brought it up, but Wei Wuxian hadn’t been expecting him to. He has to apologize, before Lan Wangji jumps to any wrong conclusions.
“Lan Zhan,” he begins. Lan Wangji hums quietly. Taking a breath, Wei Wuxian continues, “Um, that thing you heard me say earlier, to Wen Ning and Nie Huaisang...don’t take it seriously, okay?”
Lan Wangji says nothing.
“I mean,” Wei Wuxian says, but he’s rapidly losing steam, “that was pretty shitty of me, saying stuff like that, so, I’m sorry -”
“No need,” Lan Wangji says quietly.
“Huh?” Wei Wuxian glances over quickly. Lan Wangji is still looking at the roses.
“Your words were not...false,” he says, haltingly. “I know that I am...boring, and -”
“No!” Wei Wuxian interrupts hastily. “Yeah, you’re quiet, and weirdly attached to rules, but - those aren’t bad things, you know? You’re not boring, and I don’t mind hanging out with you. In fact, I -” Wait, what is he saying? He laughs nervously, backtracks. “Ah, nevermind. But anyway, you know I just like to tease, right? You especially - you’re so fun! So when I say stuff like that, don’t take any of it too seriously, okay, Lan Zhan?”
For a moment, Lan Wangji says nothing. Then, softly, “Mm.”
Wei Wuxian sighs. He rather gets the impression that he hasn’t quite managed to get his apology across as well as he’d wanted, but he supposes they have the rest of the night to remedy that. At least the awkwardness has lifted, somewhat - they spend the rest of the ride tossing theories back and forth about the drug case they’re partnered on. At least Lan Wangji has the decency not to laugh at some of Wei Wuxian’s more outlandish theories.
“Wei Ying,” he asks, when they’re about five minutes away, “where are we going?”
Wei Wuxian hums. “Why would I tell you? That would ruin the surprise!”
Lan Wangji looks apprehensive, and justifiably so - Wei Wuxian supposes he, like Nie Huaisang, is expecting to be taken to somewhere bound to make him uncomfortable. So Wei Wuxian assures, “Don’t worry, Lan Zhan, it’s nowhere bad! I’m serious! You’ll like it, I promise. Just trust me, okay?”
“Okay,” Lan Wangji says.
Wei Wuxian gives him a sideways smile. “Besides, you’ll find out soon enough. Oh, look! We’re actually here right now!”
Lan Wangji’s eyes widen ever so slightly as they get out of the car and he takes in the exterior of the fancy restaurant, and as they’re ushered to their table the moment they enter. Wei Wuxian gives himself a mental pat on the back - everything about this place screams romance, from the soft glow of the candles suffusing the room, to the way their table is tucked away in a quiet corner, like they’re in their own world away from the rest of the bustling restaurant.
Wei Wuxian pulls out Lan Wangji’s chair for him, because he’s a gentleman. Lan Wangji hesitates slightly before taking a seat. He’s brought the bouquet in with him, and he lays it gently on the table, taking care not to crush any of the petals. Wei Wuxian sits opposite from him and, suddenly anxious, tries to gauge Lan Wangji’s reaction. Is he uncomfortable?
“Lan Zhan?” he calls. Lan Wangji looks at him, and even with the glasses on, Wei Wuxian finds himself a little transfixed by the way his golden eyes seem to catch the candlelight and sparkle. Coughing slightly, he says, “Are you - okay? I mean, you don’t mind that I’ve brought you here, do you?”
Lan Wangji shakes his head, then says, “No. I like it.”
Something warm and happy bubbles up inside Wei Wuxian at the words. A waiter arrives and leaves a pair of menus for them. “I’m glad,” Wei Wuxian tells Lan Wangji, as they flip the menus open. “I’ve heard this place has a lot of good vegetarian options, so I figured it’d be a good place to take you. Ooh, this one looks good - what do you think, Lan Zhan?”
Lan Wangji glances at the dish in question, and hums in agreement.
Wei Wuxian laughs. “Well, then I guess I’ll try it - wait, how is this even pronounced?”
Lan Wangji sounds it out effortlessly, and, great, his voice sounds even better when it curls around the soft syllables. Wei Wuxian is affronted. Poking at Lan Wangji’s hand, he says, “That’s not fair! Not only are you fluent in English, but French too? Why are you so perfect?”
Is it his imagination, or are Lan Wangji’s ears flushed? “Not fluent,” he says. “Only know some.” He hesitates, before adding, “I can teach you, if you’d like.”
Wei Wuxian perks up. “Really? You would?” A nod. “Yeah, that’d be great, Lan Zhan!”
Wei Wuxian squirms happily in his seat. Lan Wangji wants to teach him French - does that mean he wants to spend more time with Wei Wuxian in the future? As in, outside of work? Before he can stop himself, Wei Wuxian says, “You know, I really am happy you like it here, Lan Zhan. Well, I mean, besides the fact that I practically had to resort to black market organ dealing just to afford the reservation - I want you to have a good time, tonight.” A little embarrassed, he ducks his head.
“Wei Ying,” he hears Lan Wangji say, softly. He looks up, and sees Lan Wangji fiddling with the napkin, looking uncharacteristically nervous. “Why...why did you…”
Before Lan Wangji can finish, however, Wei Wuxian’s phone rings, a bit jarring in the quiet. Swearing internally, Wei Wuxian is just about to mute it, when he sees that the call is from Captain Lan. Shooting Lan Wangji an apologetic look, he answers and chirps, “Captain Lan! How good to hear from you! You’re just the person I want to be talking to while on a date!”
“Don’t get snarky, Detective Wei,” Captain Lan snaps. “There’s been a new lead in the Taxicab drug case.” Wei Wuxian still thinks that’s a dumb name for a drug, but no one can change it now. “We’ve gotten intel that there will be a deal happening on the corners of 4th and Caiyi Avenue, but we have no other detectives available to run surveillance, which means you and Detective Lan will have to do it.”
“But Captain!” Wei Wuxian cries plaintively. “Lan Zhan and I are on a date!”
“Do I sound like I care?” Captain Lan says, meanly. “Go do the job, Detective Wei - that’s an order!”
“But I’ve been planning this date for months!”
“Enough backchat! Let me talk to Detective Lan!”
“This is unfair! You’re just jealous because we’re out being all romantic while you’re all alone - maybe you just need to find someone to bone.” Almost imperceptibly, Lan Wangji winces.
“How,” Captain Lan hisses, voice dangerously low, “dare you, Detective Wei? I am your superior officer! My love life, detective, is none of your business! Do not ever speak to me like that again! Now hand over the phone!”
Pouting, and a little terrified, Wei Wuxian does.
Lan Wangji listens for a few seconds, expressionless, then says, “Mm. We will.” Hanging up, he says, “Wei Ying, let us go.”
Wei Wuxian gapes at him. “But - the date -”
“It’s our job,” Lan Wangji tells him, standing and gathering the bouquet gently into his arms.
Wei Wuxian feels irrationally upset. Yeah, he knows they have a job to do, and this is an important case, but still - “I just wanted our date to go well,” he mumbles.
Lan Wangji’s eyes soften, and he says, “As long as we spend time with each other, does it really matter where we do it?”
Wei Wuxian gapes at him again, this time for a totally different reason. That line was actually...romantic! What the fuck! Lan Wangji’s lips quirk up slightly and, before Wei Wuxian has even regained the ability to speak, Lan Wangji’s leading him out to the car.
Well, duty calls, and when Lan Wangji puts it like that, Wei Wuxian supposes it’s really not so bad. Still, he thinks mournfully, those reservations were fucking pricey.
They end up finding a rooftop to wait on, one that offers them a good view of the corner where the deal is supposed to take place. Because neither of them have actually gotten to eat dinner, Wei Wuxian retrieves a giant bag of peanuts he always keeps in his car. Lan Wangji casts him a slightly judgemental look as he does so, which Wei Wuxian summarily ignores.
They take a seat on a ledge near the roof’s edge, and Wei Wuxian can’t help but giggle at how out of place Lan Wangji looks, in his fancy suit with his long legs folded awkwardly under him. He tells Lan Wangji as much, in response to the quizzical glance the other detective gives him. Lan Wangji huffs, but whether it’s in exasperation or amusement, Wei Wuxian cannot tell.
Still laughing quietly, he opens the bag of peanuts. “Want one, Lan Zhan?” Lan Wangji nods, and holds out his hand, but Wei Wuxian has a different idea. Grinning, he tosses the peanut in a gentle arc towards Lan Wangji, who raises a hand and catches it easily. Wei Wuxian groans. “No, Lan Zhan, you’re supposed to catch it in your mouth, like this!” He demonstrates, Lan Wangji staring intently at him.
“Let me try again,” Lan Wangji says, because he’s nothing if not competitive. Happily, Wei Wuxian tosses another peanut at him. He’s aiming directly at Lan Wangji’s mouth and yet, Lan Wangji manages to miss it by a mile. Frowning slightly, he says, “Again.”
For the next few minutes they practise and Wei Wuxian realises, with no small amount of glee, that he seems to have found the one thing Lan Wangji isn’t effortlessly good at. Wei Wuxian is doubled over, laughing so hard his stomach hurts, and the more he laughs, the darker Lan Wangji's expression gets.
“Oh, don't look like that, Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian gasps out, once he's managed to contain his laughter enough to talk. “It’s fine - we all have something we're not good at - even the esteemed HanGuang-Jun!”
This doesn't seem to console Lan Wangji - knowing him, this is probably the first time in his life he hasn't succeeded at something in the first couple of tries. “How are you so good at this?” he asks.
Wei Wuxian winks at him, tosses up a peanut and effortlessly catches it in his own mouth. “Guess it just comes naturally to me, Lan Zhan, just like being a detective!” Predictably, Lan Wangji huffs and flings a peanut at his own face. Before Wei Wuxian can even warn him that the trajectory's all wrong, the peanut is already bouncing off his glasses, leaving Lan Wangji blinking adorably from the shock, and Wei Wuxian dissolves into laughter all over again.
“Alright, alright, let's take a break, before you hurt yourself,” he says eventually. “What would the precinct say if you end up having to go to the hospital because you've knocked yourself out with a peanut?”
Lan Wangji huffs quietly, again, and turns to look down on the road below. Wei Wuxian follows his gaze. It's deserted, as it has been every other time they've spared it a cursory glance to check for activity. Wei Wuxian groans - they've been here for almost an hour already, and there's been no sign of the drug dealers. If his prior experience with stakeouts is any indication, there’s a very high chance that they may have to wait up here till midnight.
So much for our date, he thinks bitterly, and so much for wooing Lan Wangji. After tonight, Lan Wangji might very well go right back to ignoring his very existence, forget agreeing to another pseudo date.
“Wei Ying?” Lan Wangji asks. “Are you cold?”
“Huh?” Wei Wuxian realises he must have just shuddered involuntarily. He’s not cold - the night is actually pretty warm, which is why it would’ve been perfect for the riverside stroll he’d planned. However, he’s never one to pass up an opportunity when he sees one so, feigning another dramatic shiver, he sidles up to Lan Wangji and says, “Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, I’m freezing! Let me borrow some of your warmth?”
He’s fully expecting Lan Wangji to shove him away and call him shameless but, to his shock, Lan Wangji not only lets him stay, but actually moves a bit closer himself. Utterly delighted, Wei Wuxian presses even closer, till their arms are touching, beams up at Lan Wangji and says, “Thank you, Lan Zhan! Wow, you’re being so nice to me all of a sudden - is it because we’re supposed to be out on a date? Well, if this is how you’ll behave, you’ll have no problem charming other people when you go out with them!”
Nice going, he snaps at himself as Lan Wangji turns away, expression distant. Way to go, talking about Lan Wangji dating other people when you’re supposed to be trying to win him over. When it becomes obvious Lan Wangji isn’t going to respond, Wei Wuxian sighs and turns his attention back down to the street. Still empty, so he looks up to admire the Gusu skyline instead. He’s gotten so used to it, how long he’s lived here, so sometimes, like this, it’s good to have a reminder just how beautiful his city is - if only the crime rate was just a bit higher, it would’ve been absolutely perfect.
He remembers how he’d wanted to show Lan Wangji the lights along the riverside. That’s obviously out of the question now - this is close enough, isn’t it? Nudging Lan Wangji, Wei Wuxian points out over the roofs below and says, “Lan Zhan, look. Isn’t it pretty?”
“Mm.”
Wei Wuxian sighs. “Ah, but I’m so disappointed - I was going to take you out by the riverside tonight, and we could’ve seen the lights there - you said you liked those, didn’t you? Although -” he remembers, with a twinge of disappointment - “I guess it wouldn’t have been anything special, really, you’ve seen it so many times already…”
Lan Wangji shakes his head. “Doesn’t matter. Still beautiful.”
Wei Wuxian laughs. “Ah, listen to you. But Gusu really is a pretty city, now I think about it, even if it’s a bit quiet...Lan Zhan, you grew up here, didn’t you? I guess you’re used to it, by now, huh?”
Lan Wangji shakes his head again. “Still beautiful,” he repeats. “Always surprises me.”
Something about the way he says it gives Wei Wuxian the impression that he’s talking about something that might not be Gusu, but for the life of him, be can’t figure out what that something might be.
It appears that the drug dealers aren’t going to show up anytime soon. Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji sit on the rooftop for about three hours. To pass the time, they chat aimlessly - well, Wei Wuxian chats. Lan Wangji listens, nods or hums occasionally and, on the rare occasion, contributes to the conversation. Wei Wuxian doesn’t mind. Lan Wangji is quiet, and a good listener, and that’s what Wei Wuxian likes about him. He’s not bored - the atmosphere is comfortable, relaxed. Wei Wuxian realises that that’s how it usually is, with Lan Wangji, and subsequently wonders why exactly it’d taken him so long to realise he’s in love. Oh, well - at least he’s gotten there eventually.
Now that he thinks about it, he realises that, for him, spending time with Lan Wangji rarely is awkward, or uncomfortable, or dull. That one time all the detectives had gone to spend the weekend at Wen Ning’s sister’s beach house, the others had tasked him with distracting Lan Wangji upstairs from the party they’d been having downstairs because, as Nie Huaisang had so nicely put it, Lan Wangji had the personality of a wet sponge. As in, he could be counted on to stop even the wildest parties in under two seconds flat.
At first, Wei Wuxian had been pissed about it but, as the night wore on and he barely even noticed how late it was getting, he realised that he actually enjoyed hanging out with Lan Wangji. And he thought - or, hoped, rather - that Lan Wangji liked spending time with him too. At least, he’d seemed to be enjoying himself, in his own strange, Lan Wangji-ish way - until he’d discovered the party going on downstairs, without him, and the reason why Wei Wuxian had been staying with him upstairs all that time, and had withdrawn back into himself for the remainder of the trip. Which. Had not been pleasant.
Wei Wuxian still feels vaguely guilty about the whole affair, but figures he’ll just have to find ways to make it up to him.
At some point, he asks, “Lan Zhan, why exactly did you want my car? As the wager?” Lan Wangji glances up from the stray cat they’d been observing in the alley below, and looks at him curiously. Wei Wuxian continues, “I mean, you have your own car. And you hate mine - don’t try to deny it, I see the way you look at it, all judgemental. So...what were you even going to do with it? Sell it? No offense, Lan Zhan, but I doubt it’d go for much, because people have shit taste and can’t appreciate good cars -”
Lan Wangji shakes his head. “No. I was going to get it repaired. Then return it.”
Wei Wuxian stares at him. “What - to me?”
“Mm.”
“But - why?”
“You like that car,” Lan Wangji says. “I would not take it from you. I just want it to be safer for you to drive.”
Not for the first time around Lan Wangji, Wei Wuxian is rendered speechless. Lan Wangji hadn’t wanted the car to be spiteful, or to hurt Wei Wuxian - he hadn’t even going to take it away, permanently. And, horribly guilty, Wei Wuxian realises that his entire wager had been compounded on making Lan Wangji as uncomfortable as possible - what kind of shitty friend is he? No wonder Lan Wangji doesn’t like him.
As he’s miring in guilt, Lan Wangji reaches for the bag of peanuts. All throughout the last few hours, he’s been trying again with them every so often because, as mentioned, he’s weirdly competitive and won’t be able to rest until he masters every skill under the sun, which apparently includes catching peanuts in his mouth.
Not that he’s made much progress. At the very least, Wei Wuxian has gained enough self-control not to laugh at him so much.
Lan Wangji eyes the bag contemplatively and, before Wei Wuxian realises what he’s doing, scoops out an entire handful and tosses them up into the air. They rain down, scattering everywhere, but at the end of it, Lan Wangji is chewing and looking undeniably smug.
“I caught two,” he tells Wei Wuxian, who blinks at him for a single second, before all traces of self control dissolve and he’s collapsing with laughter again.
“Lan Zhan!” he gasps out around his giggles, “What even was that? That’s your strategy, huh - quantity over quality?”
Lan Wangji says nothing, but one corner of his mouth is tipped up ever so slightly, which is probably his equivalent of a shit-eating grin. There are a few peanuts in his hair.
“Lan Zhan, what a mess you’ve made,” Wei Wuxian says, mock disapproving, leaning in to pluck the peanuts out. When he’s done, he has to smooth down the strands of Lan Wangji’s hair that have come out of place, and after that, he can’t help but run his fingers through that same hair a few more times, just because. Lan Wangji has such nice hair - soft and smooth and dark.
He barely registers what he’s doing until he hears Lan Wangji’s quiet gasp. Abruptly, he comes back to himself - his fingers are tangled in Lan Wangji’s hair, which is in an even messier state than before, and they’re so close Wei Wuxian can see the way the lights shimmer in Lan Wangji’s wide golden eyes, feel his warm breath on his skin.
Wei Wuxian’s first instinct is to jerk away, stammer out an apology. But - he’s been running away from these feelings for so long. Maybe it's about time he...ran towards them, instead.
Almost unconsciously, he tucks a lock of hair behind Lan Wangji’s ear and cups his cheek. The mood between them has shifted - Wei Wuxian feels lightheaded, almost dizzy with anticipation. Lan Wangji’s breath hitches, and his eyes flutter shut, as Wei Wuxian leans in closer, closer -
- and, over Lan Wangji’s shoulder, spots an incredibly suspicious-looking white van pulling up into the alleyway.
Shit. What is he doing?
Swallowing thickly, he pulls back and pats Lan Wangji awkwardly on the shoulder. Lan Wangji’s eyes open slowly and he blinks at Wei Wuxian, almost like he’s feeling just as disoriented as he is.
Wei Wuxian forces himself to grin, chuckles awkwardly. “Well, Lan Zhan, don't worry - you'll get it eventually! But for now, looks like our friends are here.” He points to the van. Slowly, Lan Wangji turns to follow his gaze. His ears are pink, Wei Wuxian notices. What does that mean? Lan Wangji hadn’t pushed him away, before - had he wanted Wei Wuxian to -
Before he can follow that train of thought, Wei Wuxian shakes his head and gets to his feet, tugging Lan Wangji up after him. “Come on, Lan Zhan,” he says, a lot more cheerfully than he feels, “let’s get our detective on.”
At the morning briefing the next day, Wei Wuxian can’t stop smiling.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Jiang Cheng hisses. “You’re creeping me out.”
Wei Wuxian raises an eyebrow at him. “What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with your hair? ”
Jiang Cheng flushes angrily, all the way to his newly blond, curled hair and growls, “Shut it! I had to go undercover in a salon, letting them murder my scalp was the only way to keep them talking!”
Wei Wuxian sniggers. “Well, I sure hope it was worth it!”
“Oh, it sure is,” Nie Huaising pipes in cheerfully.
“ Nothing can be worth this, ” Jiang Cheng says, gesturing at his hair. “And again, quit smiling so much - there is literally a dead body on the screen, you look like a fucking psycho.”
“A bit rich coming from you,” Wei Wuxian retorts, “Mr. I keep a sword and an axe in my desk -”
“Detectives Jiang and Wei,” Captain Lan snaps, from the front of the room, where he’s standing at the projector screen. “What exactly is so much more interesting than the case we’re discussing?”
“Oh, pretty much everything,” Wei Wuxian says. “Look at the body - just a gunshot wound to the chest, so cut and dry. And the taxi driver has such an obvious motive - I bet he’ll confess in under five minutes. This case is so straightforward and boring!”
Captain Lan’s nostrils flare angrily. “Well, since it’s so straightforward, you can go bring the delivery man in after this. Take Detectives Lan and Jiang with you. Sergeant Nie and Detective Su - the two of you go to the elderly’s home, interview the nurse there.”
The pen Sergeant Nie is gripping makes an ominous cracking noise. “Why,” he says, “are you pairing me with that useless excuse for a detective?” He gestures to Su She, whose indignant “Hey!” comes out muffled through his mouthful of potato chips.
Captain Lan glowers at them both. “Because the two of you have been doing nothing but sniping at each other all week, and I’m sick of it! It’s bad for morale. Do whatever you have to do and sort out whatever trivial matter you’re squabbling about this time.”
“It’s not trivial!” Sergeant Nie roars. “He stole my yoghurt! Yoghurt is serious business!”
“It really isn’t, Sarge,” Jiang Cheng says. Nie Huaisang looks like he wants to agree, but is afraid of what will happen if he does, so for once, he does not comment.
“I did no such thing!” Su She insists.
“That,” Captain Lan says lowly, “is inconsequential. All that matters is that the two of you sort this out between yourselves, and stop bothering me with it! Anyway.” Massaging his nose, he says, “I would like to bring it to your attention that Detectives Lan and Wei have made a not insignificant arrest last night. Good work, detectives. Detective Lan, would you like to give a recap?”
“I’ll do it!” Wei Wuxian says, leaping to his feet before Lan Wangji has a chance to reply. He pokes Lan Wangji’s cheek and says, “No offense, Lan Zhan, but you’re a pretty terrible storyteller - I’ll make it sound super interesting, all right? You don’t mind, do you?” Lan Wangji shakes his head, so Wei Wuxian makes his way up to the screen. Lan Qiren gives him a sour look and sits down.
“Wait a second,” Nie Huaisang says, “wasn’t last night supposed to be your date with Lan Wangji?”
Wei Wuxian makes a face. “It was supposed to be, yeah, but we ended up having to cut it short to go do the stakeout.”
“Ah,” Nie Huiasang says, “so Lan Wangji was spared from having to suffer through a date with you, huh?”
“Suffer?” Lan Wangji asks quietly.
“Yeah,” Nie Huaisang says, ignoring the way Wei Wuxian is glaring at him and trying to telepathically yell at him to shut up, “Wei Wuxian didn’t tell you? That was his whole plan - take you on what would otherwise be your perfect date, if not for the fact that you’ve got to do it with him, and thus ruin all future dates for you . His words, not mine.”
Wei Wuxian is going to take a page out of Sergeant Nie’s book and threaten to break Nie Huaisang’s legs.
“Oh,” Lan Wangji says, quietly. He won’t meet Wei Wuxian’s eyes.
Wei Wuxian wants to rush to him, to tell him in no uncertain terms that that’s not it at all, not anymore, but Captain Lan clears his throat and says, “Detective Wei, we don’t have all day.”
So Wei Wuxian relays the events of last night - well, the relevant parts. He leaves out their conversation on the roof, Lan Wangji’s struggles with the peanuts, the thing that happened at the end where he may have been about to kiss Lan Wangji and Lan Wangji may not have minded that much -
He does tell them about how they’d caught the dealers, recorded enough of their conversation to provide sufficient evidence in court, and then brought them back to the precinct and taken their statements. By the time they were done, it was almost midnight, and any chances of Wei Wuxian salvaging their date were long gone.
He’d driven Lan Wangji back to his apartment, afterwards. Lan Wangji was obviously sleepy, and trying to hide it - he kept hiding his yawns behind his hand, and Wei Wuxian saw his head droop forwards a couple of times, before snapping back up immediately. Wei Wuxian had to resist the urge to coo - the sight of the usually immaculately poised and composed Lan Wangji struggling to stay awake was too adorable for words.
When they’d arrived, Wei Wuxian had sighed and said, “I’m sorry tonight didn’t work out, Lan Zhan. I really wanted you to enjoy it…”
Lan Wangji’s eyes had softened, and he’d said, “I did.” He was still holding the roses.
“Oh!” Wei Wuxian had almost asked Lan Wangji, right there, if he wanted to go out another time, on a proper date, but he’d ended up chickening out and just blurting out a quick, “See you tomorrow, Lan Zhan!”
He’d figured he’d that was when he’d ask Lan Wangji, when they were both fully awake and not covered in rooftop grime. But now, as the briefing clears up and Lan Wangji still won’t look at him, he can’t help but wonder if maybe he’s wasted his chance.
As soon as Captain Lan dismisses them, Wei Wuxian follows Lan Wangji to the breakroom, where the other detective is making a cup of tea. He stiffens when he hears Wei Wuxian come in behind him, but doesn’t turn around.
Wei Wuxian clears his throat. “Uh, Lan Zhan? Can I ask you something?”
Finally, Lan Wangji turns to face him. There’s something guarded about his expression. “Mm.”
Wei Wuxian takes a deep breath. “You...you said you had a good time last night, right?”
“Mm.”
“Okay. Okay.” Steeling himself, Wei Wuxian musters all the courage he possesses, and says, “Well, I still had other stuff planned for us, and, technically, you didn’t fulfill all the requirements of the wager since we didn’t actually get to finish the date, so...would you like to finish it some other time? As in, go out with me, again?”
Lan Wangji stares at him. Wei Wuxian’s heart is beating fast, faster still for every second Lan Wangji doesn’t reply. And then, finally, Lan Wangji says, “No.”
“N-no?” Wei Wuxian repeats, helplessly, hoping against hope that he heard wrong, that Lan Wangji doesn’t mean it like that -
“No,” Lan Wangji repeats, clutching at his mug of tea. “I do not want to go on another date with you.” There’s something almost bitter about the way he spits the word, and Wei Wuxian’s heart sinks.
“Oh,” he says. “Did you really...hate it that much? But, you said…”
Lan Wangji turns away again. When he speaks, his voice is so soft Wei Wuxian has to strain to hear it. “I did not take you for a cruel person, Wei Ying.”
Oh, oh wow. Is this what heartbreak feels like? Lan Wangji thinks he is cruel - had it been that terrible, for him, to be forced to spend time with Wei Wuxian? For the first time in a long, long time, Wei Wuxian actually thinks he might cry, which won’t do at all, because a) he doesn’t want Lan Wangji to be forced to comfort him awkwardly when he obviously can’t stand him and b) he’s pretty sure Nie Huaisang will manage to capture it on video to replay at the precinct’s Christmas parties.
So, swallowing back all the things he wants to say, he says, “Oh, cool. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. No doubt, no doubt, no doubt. Whatever you want. And I’m, um, sorry about last night - it was a pretty dumb idea, I really shouldn’t have done that…”
When he realises Lan Wangji isn’t going to reply, Wei Wuxian flees the breakroom, and runs right into Nie Huiasang, who says, “Well, that went horribly.”
“How do you even know what happened?” Wei Wuxian groans, collapsing into his chair and slumping forward onto the paperwork on his desk.
“I know everything, obviously,” Nie Huaisang says. He perches on the edge of Wei Wuxian’s desk, followed by Wen Ning and Jiang Cheng, because, despite what they’d like to claim, they’re all shameless gossips.
“What happened?” Wen Ning asks.
“Wei Wuxian tried to ask out Lan Wangji again,” Nie Huaisang says, “and got rejected. Hard.”
Wen Ning winces. “I’m sorry to hear that, Detective Wei.”
“Thank you for your sympathy, ” Wei Wuxian says, glowering pointedly at Nie Huaisang and Jiang Cheng, who’s snickering.
“What,” he says, “were you actually expecting him to say yes?”
“Well, kind of!” Wei Wuxian says. “I mean, I thought we had a pretty good time together last night - he said so himself! But this morning, he called me cruel for making him go out with me -”
“Well,” Nie Huaisang says, “it kind of was cruel of you - after all, you know he’s in love with you, and you still decided to go out with him just to rub it in his face.”
Wait. What?
Wei Wuxian, whose brain has shut down somewhere around the word love, finally recovers enough to gape up at Nie Huaisang. “W-wait, wait, wait,” he stammers, “back up a bit - did you just say that Lan Zhan is in love? With me?”
“Yes?” Nie Huaisang says, like it's common knowledge, and not a completely earth-shattering revelaton. “What, don't act like you didn't know.”
“I didn't!”
“How?” Jiang Cheng demands. “Literally everyone else does.”
“ Wen Ning didn't know,” Wei Wuxian says, desperate, staring up at Wen Ning pleadingly. “Right?”
Wen Ning shifts uncomfortably. “Actually, I did…”
“Aaahh!” Wei Wuxian screeches. “How - how did you all find out?”
Jiang Cheng scowls. “Are you seriously trying to tell us you don't remember?”
“Remember what? ”
“Remember that time two years ago when that drug bust went wrong and you got your reckless ass kidnapped trying to rescue all those hostages on your own?”
“Yeah,” Wei Wuxian says, unable to stop himself from reminiscing a little, “I was pretty badass, wasn't I?”
Jiang Cheng snorts. “Oh, yeah, you cut such an impressive figure when we found you drugged out of your mind and half-unconscious.”
“Huh,” Wei Wuxian says. “I... don't remember that.” After getting drugged, the next thing he'd remembered was waking up in the hospital, feeling like he'd just been run over by three different trucks at the same time, with the Commissioner of Police right by his bedside, telling him that he'd have to be heading off undercover as soon as he'd recovered enough to walk. He hadn't even gotten to say goodbye to his precinct, or even been able to contact them during the undercover stint.
“Well,” Jiang Cheng continues, “when we did find you, you were in pretty bad shape. We thought you might die, actually - in hindsight, we should've realised there was no way we'd get rid of you that easily, but I guess Lan Wangji wasn't thinking clearly.”
Wei Wuxian...doesn't like where this is going.
Wen Ning nods. “Yeah, he was...really upset. He wouldn't leave your side till the paramedics came, and he kept holding your hand. And he, uh…” Here, his face turns bright red, and he seems unable to keep speaking.
“He told you he loved you,” Jiang Cheng says bluntly. “And a whole load of sappy shit - 'I'm here’, 'I won't leave you’ -”
“And you told him to get lost,” Nie Huaisang says, way too cheerfully. “It was pretty heartbreaking.” He doesn't sound all that broken up about it, Wei Wuxian thinks.
“Yeah,” Wen Ning agrees, “I... don't think I've ever seen Detective Lan look so upset. It was pretty scary.”
“You always think Lan Wangji is scary,” Jiang Cheng points out.
Wei Wuxian ignores them. His chest feels tight - his throat too, under the weight of all this new information. “Why - why didn’t any of you ever tell me?” he rasps out. “After.”
“Well,” Nie Huaisang points out, “we did all kind of think you knew, and didn’t feel the same way - that was a pretty thorough rejection you gave poor HanGuang-Jun there, I actually felt bad for him for a sec -”
“Yeah, yeah, okay,” Wei Wuxian says impatiently, “but why didn’t you ever bring it up after? Or even when I made this stupid bet?”
Wen Ning shifts his hands. “You seemed...pretty against it, Detective Wei, when Detective Lan told you the first time...and you never brought it up, afterwards, so we assumed you just really didn’t want to talk about it. And we didn’t want Detective Lan to feel bad about it either, if we kept bringing it up.”
“Plus, when would we have even gotten the chance to talk about it?” Jiang Cheng says. “We didn’t even get to see you in the hospital before you fucked off on that undercover thing and left us without contact for thirteen months. Oh, and I guess you probably didn’t know about this either - even though none of us were told you were undercover, all we knew was that you’d apparently defected and joined the cartel - Lan Wangji almost got his stubborn ass suspended when he kept trying to defend you and insisting you were innocent. To be fair, none of us believed you would actually join a cartel, you’re too much of a wimp, but still -”
“Hey, I could totally join a cartel!” Wei Wuxian protests automatically, then winces - why is that what he chooses to focus on? Under any other circumstances, Wei Wuxian would find the whole unwavering belief thing extremely heartwarming and tease his fellow detectives about it for weeks, but all he can feel now is an overwhelming sense of guilt. Lan Wangji is in love with him. Lan Wangji thinks Wei Wuxian knows he’s in love with him. Lan Wangji thinks Wei Wuxian doesn’t feel the same, is just ignoring his feelings, has forced him to go out on an apparently meaningless date just to string him along -
Wei Wuxian gets to his feet abruptly. “I,” he says, “am such an idiot.”
“No arguments here,” Jiang Cheng says, because he's a terrible brother.
Ignoring him, Wei Wuxian frantically glances around the bullpen, but there’s no sign of Lan Wangji. “Where’s Lan Zhan?” he calls. “I need to - I need to tell him how I feel -”
“How you feel?” Nie Huaisang says, raising an eyebrow. “So you do have feelings for him?”
“Of course I do!” Wei Wuxian snaps. “I’m in love with him, it’s Lan Zhan, how could I not be?”
Wen Ning beams, and Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes and says, “Took you long enough, didn’t it?”
“You, shut it,” Wei Wuxian says distractedly, scanning the bullpen again. Lan Wangji still isn’t here - where could he have gone? Just as he opens his mouth to shout his name, louder, Captain Lan emerges from his office, followed closely by Lan Wangji. The Captain gives the three detectives, and Nie Huaisang, an extremely unimpressed stare (so that’s where Lan Wangji gets it from) and says, “I assume that all your paperwork is done and filed, if you have so much time to gossip?”
Wen Ning slinks back to his desk immediately, under the full force of Captain Lan’s disapproval, but Wei Wuxian’s too busy staring at Lan Wangji to notice. “Lan Zhan!” he calls. Lan Wangji glances up at him, then away just as quickly. Wei Wuxian’s heart clenches painfully.
“Not the time, Detective Wei,” Captain Lan says. “Didn’t I tell you to take Detectives Lan and Jiang with you to bring in the taxi driver for questioning? Get to it!”
Lan Wangji winces. “May I -” he begins, but the Captain gives him such a scathing look that he chooses not to continue, instead walking right past Wei Wuxian without a second glance as he heads for the elevators.
Wei Wuxian trails after him helplessly, Jiang Cheng in tow. “This is the perfect opportunity,” he whispers. “I’m gonna confess to him in the car, when he has nowhere to run -”
“You will do no such thing,” Jiang Cheng hisses back. “I am not going to try to drive while you two assholes make out in the backseat and scar me for life.”
Wei Wuxian pouts, but acquiesces.
So it turns out the case actually wasn’t as cut and dry as Wei Wuxian had expected it to be.
As in, he’s currently standing in an alleyway, hands raised as non-threateningly as possible, while the same taxi driver holds a gun to his head. To be fair, he has been in similar situations before, but it really never stops a little embarrassing. And undignified.
Even more so because Lan Wangji is standing right across them, gun aimed at the taxi driver, face pale and worry evident in his eyes even though they’re so focused and intent Wei Wuxian can’t help but admire them despite the less-than-ideal situation. “Let him go,” he grits out, one word at a time, voice all low and threatening, and oh, that’s something Wei Wuxian will have to revisit at a later time.
The taxi driver grips Wei Wuxian more tightly, presses the gun harder to his temple. “Drop the gun,” he calls, “or I’ll blow a hole right through his skull.” Ugh, even his lines are corny. This is the guy that’s managed to get the better of Wei Wuxian? Captain Lan will never let him live it down.
Lan Wangji’s eyes narrow, but he lowers the gun slowly, and no, why the hell is he doing that? Wei Wuxian wants to yell at him, but then realises - this might not exactly be the most appropriate time and place to confess, but since when has he cared much about propriety?
So he says to the taxi driver, “Let me go to him! I have to tell him something! It’s super urgent!”
“If it’s so urgent, you can just tell him like this,” the taxi driver replies.
Wei Wuxian shrugs as much as he’s able to. “Guess you’re right.” Then, inhaling, he calls, “Lan Zhan! Lan Wangji! HanGuang-Jun! Last night, on our date, I - I really wanted to make out with you!”
Several things happen in the span of the next few seconds. Lan Wangji’s eyes go very, very wide; the taxi driver says, “What the fuck?” and the pressure of the gun loosens just the slightest bit, just enough for Wei Wuxian to duck out of the taxi driver’s slackened grip and knock the gun out of his hand, then wrench his arm behind his back and yell, “Um, a little help here?”
Thankfully, Jiang Cheng shows up just in time to help him cuff the guy, because Lan Wangji looks too shellshocked to be of much assistance. His eyes are still wide, and he's staring at Wei Wuxian with something like bewilderment, which is definitely a new look on him, and not one Wei Wuxian particularly likes.
So he runs over, ignoring Jiang Cheng's incensed yell, and throws his arms around Lan Wangji. Lan Wangji doesn't hug him back - he's tense, arms ramrod straight at his sides. Undeterred, Wei Wuxian buries his face in Lan Wangji's shoulder for just one moment, inhaling the familiar, comforting scent of sandalwood, before pulling back just enough to look Lan Wangji in the eyes. “Lan Zhan,” he murmurs, “did you hear what I just said?”
He watches Lan Wangji swallow, watches his throat work as he struggles to find the words. “You…” he begins haltingly, “you said…”
Wei Wuxian will repeat it as many times as it takes for Lan Wangji to believe it. “I said, I really wanted to -”
Jiang Cheng clears his throat behind them, loudly and pointedly. “Did none of you fuckers ever learn about time and place?” he growls. “Help me get this idiot back to the station and you can have your little heart to heart there.”
Wei Wuxian sighs despondently, but he releases Lan Wangji. As much as he hates to admit it, Jiang Cheng does have a point - a dingy alleyway is hardly the most romantic setting for confessing his undying love to Lan Wangji. Lan Wangji deserves better - somewhere that doesn't smell like cat piss, with no handcuffed criminals glowering at them, would be a good start.
The ride back to the precinct is supremely awkward, as is to be expected, what with the way Jiang Cheng scowls and the taxi driver fumes silently and Lan Wangji is still determinedly avoiding meeting Wei Wuxian's eyes.
So the moment the taxi driver has been whisked off to a holding cell, Wei Wuxian latches on to Lan Wangji before he can run off again. “You, stay right here,” he says, clutching Lan Wangji's sleeve, “we need to talk about our feelings, like we should've done two years ago, because maybe then we wouldn't be in this mess now.”
“Ooh, is it finally happening?” Nie Huaisang whispers loudly. Wen Ning shushes him. Wei Wuxian is pretty sure he hears Nie Huaisang mutter something about livetweeting this, but he ignores him in favor of the way Lan Wangji is looking at him with something almost like trepidation.
Wei Wuxian opens his mouth, about to let all his feelings spill out messily until Lan Wangji understands, but before he can, Lan Wangji himself says, quietly, “Those things you said...did you mean them?”
“Huh?”
Lan Wangji swallows, looks away again. Wei Wuxian wishes he wouldn't. “Did you mean them?” he repeats, sounding like the words are being dragged forcibly out of his throat. “Or did you just say them to distract the criminal?”
Wei Wuxian wants to go back in time, punch his past self in the face - how many times has Jiang Cheng yelled at him for flirting around and constantly joking about stuff like this? No wonder Lan Wangji doesn't believe him now.
“You think I couldn't have gotten away from that dude if I wanted to?” he says. “Come on, Lan Zhan, give me a bit more credit. Everything I said, I meant it! Look -” he hesitates slightly, because even thinking about the next part makes him cringe at himself - wow, he really is blind, maybe Jiang Cheng does have a point. “Lan Zhan, the stuff that happened two years ago, where you, uh...confessed to me…well, the thing is, I didn’t remember. Because I was, you know. Drugged. But! That’s not the point! The point is, I know now, and I love you too! And I didn’t make you go out with me to lead you on or anything, I did it because I wanted to get you to like me! Well, now I know you already did, so...but the point still stands, I really did want to go out with you! And make out with you!”
“Too much information,” Jiang Cheng groans.
“No,” Nie Huaisang says, tapping furiously away at his phone, “keep talking…”
Lan Wangji, unlike what Wei Wuxian had imagined, isn’t looking quietly relieved and maybe kissing him by this point. Instead, he still looks hesitant, like he wants to believe Wei Wuxian but can’t. Wei Wuxian supposes he can’t blame him. Then, suddenly inspired, he remembers the thing he’d stayed up till the early hours of the morning to make.
“Wait right here, I’ll be right back!” he says, and dashes to his desk, rummages through his drawers, and extricates the item. Returning to Lan Wangji, he holds it out proudly. “Go on, take it.”
Lan Wangji does, cautiously. Frowning down at it, he says, “A binder?”
“Yep! Read what’s on the cover.”
“ Reasons why Wei Wuxian loves Lan Wangji: A Comprehensive Guide,” Lan Wangji reads, then promptly blushes. In his ears, at least.
Beaming at him, Wei Wuxian says, “Well, aren’t you going to read it? I worked really hard on it, you know!”
Lan Wangji flips through the pages gingerly, like he’s afraid they’ll tear - no worries there, Wei Wuxian made sure to use Lan Wangji’s favourite brand of cardstock, because somehow, he’d been aware of that tidbit of information before he was aware of Lan Wangji’s feelings. “Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji breathes, eyes wide.
“Do you like it?” Wei Wuxian asks, moving to stand behind Lan Wangji and propping his chin up on his shoulder. “Look, the reasons are categorized - physical features, personality traits, habits, stuff like that - and! I used your favourite section dividers! And everything is arranged alphabetically, because I know you get all twitchy when stuff is out of order. And look at the font -”
“Garamond,” Lan Wangji whispers, in the kind of hushed, awestruck tone Wei Wuxian wishes was directed at him, and not at a binder. Oh well - if all goes well, soon enough it will be. “Size 14, 1.5 line spacing, double sided -”
“Yep!” Wei Wuxian says. “Just the way you like it. Which is something I know because it’s something important to you, which means it’s important to me too! So, Lan Zhan, do you believe me now when I say I’m in love with you?”
Instead of replying, Lan Wangji spins around, gathers Wei Wuxian up in his arms (after making sure to set the binder down gently on a nearby desk) and kisses him so hard his knees buckle - which, Wei Wuxian supposes, as he kisses back delightedly, is an answer enough.
It’s all going well until Lan Wangji places one hand under Wei Wuxian’s knees and scoops him up like he weighs nothing - what the fuck, Wei Wuxian thinks dazedly - then rests him back down on his own desk, presses in close again, and gets right back to kissing the living daylights out of Wei Wuxian, and yeah, it’s even better now.
Distantly, he can hear cheers and whoops and retching noises that might be coming from Jiang Cheng, but Wei Wuxian can’t bring himself to care - he wraps his hands around Lan Wangji’s neck, buries his hands in his soft hair, and they kiss, and kiss, and kiss. He feels Lan Wangji’s glasses bump against his forehead, and he breaks away just long enough to laugh breathlessly, before he pulls Lan Wangji in again to -
“DETECTIVES! JUST WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?”
Immediately, Lan Wangji releases Wei Wuxian and takes two large steps backward - Wei Wuxian is thankful Lan Wangji had had the foresight to prop him up on his desk, because given how lightheaded he feels after all that, he seriously doubts his ability to stand any time soon.
“Captain Lan,” Lan Wangji says, and it’s unfair how perfect and composed he still looks, especially considering Wei Wuxian is sure that he looks like a complete wreck at this point - “we apologize for our inappropriate behaviour. It will not happen again.”
“Hey,” Wei Wuxian says, mustering the energy to feel indignant, “why am I apologizing? You’re the one who literally swept me off my feet -”
“Thanks for that, by the way,” Nie Huaisang calls, “my followers went nuts -”
“And now you’re saying it won’t happen again?” Wei Wuxian feigns a pout, throws Lan Wangji his most betrayed look. “Lan Zhan, are you saying you’ll never kiss me again when we’re at work? Hmmph, if that’s how it’s going to be, I suppose I’d better find someone else to date - someone who appreciates me, who shows me the affection I deserve -”
It appears this last part is what wins out over Lan Wangji’s deep rooted fear of the Captain, because he’s back at Wei Wuxian’s side in a blink of an eye, cupping his cheek gently and staring right into his eyes, and saying, low and intently, “I will kiss you as many times as you desire, wherever you desire, Wei Ying.”
“Maybe not wherever,” Jiang Cheng snaps. “Behind a closed door would be a good start.”
Wei Wuxian had had all intentions of teasing Lan Wangji more, just to watch him get angry, because he’s not going to lie, that’s pretty hot - but all that goes out of the window in the face of Lan Wangji looking at him like that, telling him things like that…
“Ah, Lan Zhan, you’re really too smooth, you know I couldn’t possibly want anyone but you,” he murmurs, letting his eyes slide shut again as Lan Wangji leans in -
“Wei Wuxian!” Captain Lan yells again. He looks on the verge of exploding from outrage - whoops. “I will suspend the both of you if you do not cease and desist, right this instant!”
“Thank you, Captain,” Jiang Cheng says, looking immensely pained, “but I think it’s already too late for my eyeballs at this point.”
Wen Ning, however, beams happily at them, because he’s a sweetheart. “Congratulations, you two! I’m glad that you’ve found happiness with each other finally!”
“Yes,” Nie Huaisang adds, “as are my followers - my follower count just went up by five thousand, thanks to the two of you.”
Reluctantly, Wei Wuxian releases Lan Wangji, but not before whispering in his ear, “Meet me in the evidence lockup, later today, and we’ll continue where we left off -”
“Detective Wei,” Captain Lan says, pinching his nose, “you really are not as quiet as you think you are.”
Wei Wuxian can’t help it - he laughs, gives Lan Wangji one last peck on the cheek, and says, “All right, all right, let's stop before we give the good Captain any more reasons to want to demote us.”
“Don’t give me ideas,” Captain Lan warns, and Wei Wuxian laughs again. It’ll be fine. They’ve waited so long to get here, what’s a few more hours in the face of forever?
Two months later
“What would you like to eat?” Lan Wangji asks, thumb tracing circles on Wei Wuxian's knuckles.
Wei Wuxian pretends to hum thoughtfully. “Hm, to eat? Well, for starters -” He leans closer and whispers something that makes Lan Wangji's ears turn bright red and his grip on Wei Wuxian's hand tighten.
“Wei Ying,” he grits out, like a warning.
Wei Wuxian grins back at him, utterly shameless. “What, do you have any objections to that, Lan er gege?”
“Can you two please take out your ear pieces before you start flirting?” Jiang Cheng hisses in his ear. “I could do without the mental images, Wei Wuxian.”
Wei Wuxian smirks. “But why shouldn’t we flirt? We are, of course, happily married.” Or, at least, pretending to be to blend in in this fancy cocktail party and gather intel, but maybe, in the future -
He’s jolted out of his daydreams by Lan Wangji giving his hand a squeeze and saying, “Near the door.” Wei Wuxian turns to look and, sure enough, there’s their target.
They make their way leisurely over to where the man is standing, Lan Wangji’s hand a warm presence at Wei Wuxian’s waist. “Hello,” Wei Wuxian says, sunnily, but doesn’t get much further than that before the man pales and says, “Wait, aren’t you those cops from that video on Twitter?”
Mentally cursing Nie Huaisang and his social media addiction, Wei Wuxian keeps smiling genially and says, “I’m not sure what you’re talking about -” But the man’s already turned and is sprinting away as fast as he can while wearing his expensive-looking suit.
Wei Wuxian sighs. “Jiang Cheng, looks like we’ve got a runner.”
“So I heard.”
Wei Wuxian smiles up at Lan Wangji. “You know what to do, right?”
“Mm,” Lan Wangji says. Of course he does - they’re partners, after all.
“You know me so well, Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian says, pressing a quick, fond kiss to his cheek, before they both take off in separate directions, Lan Wangji out the front door and Wei Wuxian running towards the back entrance, both of them knowing exactly what they’ve got to do to corner the man.
Captain Lan was right, Wei Wuxian thinks happily as he and Lan Wangji walk out of the interrogation room later that night, yet another confession under their belt - he and Lan Wangji do make a pretty good team.
And it turns out that it really doesn’t take a stupid bet for the two of them to make the Nine-Nine the top precinct in Gusu.