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Fall was the worst time of year to get a contract. Not that Joey disliked work—money was always a good thing, and always in short supply, but fall was the worst. Crunchy leaves everywhere. Mushy ground. And he could never tell if it was going to be hot or cold when he packed his gear.
Most of the fall months he didn’t work. He let the other, less skilled hunters take out the small fry and learn the hard way just how shitty fall hunting was when they were rolling around in the leaves and the mud. This hunt couldn’t be passed up. Too much money was on the line. A cool fifty thousand. Enough to set him up for all of winter, because fuck snow hunting, too.
Fuck vampire hunting in general.
Trekking through an empty hamlet on the outskirts of Domino, Joey sighed. This was where it all started for him. He remembered this cemetery; he remembered fighting back against some weak and slimy, barely human damphyr at almost dusk. It had jumped him and his sister, Serenity, while they were exploring. Their mother told them not to go—he wasn’t so good a listener then, but now there was a nasty scar on his ribs where he learned the hard way.
After that, he should have known that being a hunter was no walk in the park. It was an old, almost lost profession. A fable that only old coots still believed in because how could there be vampires when there were cell phones? His best friend Yugi told him otherwise.
“They really are real,” Yugi’d said. “You saw. You felt it, right!”
Felt was a weak word. “Yeah, so what?”
“So what? You know how many fourteen year olds live from that?” Yugi asked. Before Joey could reply, he answered: “None. Just ask grandpa.”
Speaking of old coots who still believed. And still was a hunter willing to train apprentices. It beat a nine to five, especially when money was tight, so Joey let the old man train him.
That was almost ten years ago. Now, everything about the job was second nature. But coming back and prowling the same cemetery that led to a century-old dilapidated cathedral sent chills down his spine.
Something rustled in the distance. Leaves, snapped branches. There was something wandering in the wooded path behind Joey. He stopped and reached back for his crossbow. Oldie but a goodie, so Grandpa Mutou had taught him. Loaded with silver bolts and ready to go.
Lightning jolted through Joey from head to toe. Careful steps were taken forward, easing to the mouth of the forest. He did a quick 360 in, taking in every angle around him; as much as dim moonbeams, seeping through tree branches, would allow him. He learned early on that a beaming flashlight made him exceptional target practice.
He stilled his breath and raised the crossbow to the shadows between the trees. “Somethin’ evil this way goes....” he half-muttered, half-hummed. An old hunter’s song to try and ease tension. He jumped and turned the opposite direction, his muscles taut in anticipation. Sweat beaded his brow. Ten years of experience never made this any easier. The harder the mark, the more fear he had to swallow. It never worked. He continued anyway: “With pointy teeth an’ a crooked nose. But if ya...if ya track it close to day...”
“Maybe you won’t become its prey,” a gravely voice in the distance finished. Joey jumped and poised the crossbow towards the annoying, familiar voice. “Still singing children’s songs?”
Joey swallowed a shuddered breath. “What the hell are ya doin’ here, Kaiba?”
Even in the dim moonlight, or maybe because of it, he could make out Kaiba’s pale face and gossamer smile. He never looked happy. More like a wolf approaching its newest meal. The way he stared down the bolt of the crossbow tempted Joey to step back. Just a step. But he wouldn’t let himself. This asshole, however creepy and asshole-y he was regardless of their encounters, wasn’t a actual threat. They were, with great annoyance, on the same side.
“Praying that you aren’t going after the same mark I am. Because you are woefully outmatched,” he said. He pushed the crossbow from his face. “Look at you, still using outdated machinery. If it can be called that.”
“It ain’t outdated if it works.”
“Tch, hardly.” Kaiba pulled back the folds of his coat to reveal the small-caliber pistols holstered on his shoulders. That was the least of his equipment. An entire utility-belt of sci-fi meets fantasy hung off his hips, cocked just enough that he could see some of the wires that fed up his coat. Kaiba was more man than machine; hunts were a display, not an art. “Face it, you’re just a blood hound. And a mixed breed at that. Go home and let the big dogs take care of things.”
“Fuck off, an’ go back to your fancy pants land. This is my mark, so stay out.”
“I don’t think so,” Kaiba said. “This is my city, Wheeler, in case you forgot.”
“The fuck’s that s’pose to mean?”
Kaiba took several steps closer, his smile wide and leering. The kind of vicious smile that he, unfortunately, found curiously exciting. The way vampires sometimes licked their lips at him. But instead, Kaiba grabbed him by the collar and shoved him into a tree so hard tears welled in his eyes. He dropped the crossbow.
“It means I’m bigger than you, I’m faster than you, and I’m stronger than you. You weren’t born and bred for this, Wheeler. You’re a nobody, a chump, and you’ll end up someone’s dinner one of these nights,” Kaiba said. The cool edge of a silver knife pressed perpendicular to his jugular. He hadn’t even seen Kaiba draw the knife.
Joey flattened against the tree. He needed to give himself room. Kaiba was far too damn close—he was sure he felt Kaiba’s knee brushing against his thigh—but he also needed room to breath. “Man, stop that. I had a shave this mornin’,” he said, pressing his hands to Kaiba’s breast. Kaiba doubled down and pushed closer. “What, are ya tryin’ to kill me or is this your way a tellin’ me you’re happy t’ see me?”
Kaiba backed away. “Grow up, Wheeler.”
“‘Eh, I ain’t the one tryin’ t’,” Joey bit back a laugh and snorted, “I ain’t the one tryin’ t’ make out with a knife between us.”
“You’re ridiculous.”
Joey picked up his crossbow, his giggle fit was intermittent as they staggered towards the cathedral. He didn’t know why it was so damned funny. Kaiba was about as sexually appealing as an eggplant. And an eggplant had more colour, maybe even personality. Though his consideration of Kaiba’s sexuality at all was...well, he didn’t want to go there. That was enough of that.
“Oh my God, are you finished, you moron?” Kaiba asked. “Try and be professional.”
“I am a professional. See?” Joey unsheathed and brandished a silver knife. “Got my own knife and everythin’ jus’ like you.”
Kaiba rolled his eyes. “Your ponytail says otherwise.”
Joey touched the small pony-tail. Not even a pony-tail. More like a bunny-tail. “‘Ey, you’re one to talk, Mr. Fashion-Disaster. Neo called; he wants his trenchcoat back.” He’d take this silly conversation over looking at the headstones while they walked through to the door.
“You would be the kind of person who likes the Matrix,” Kaiba said.
“An’ you’d be the sort of person t’ diss it. Ya even know what fun is? Lay back Kaib’. Live a little.”
“You wouldn’t know fun if it—“
Joey’s finger flung to his lips. “Shh. I hear somethin’.”
Just outside the door of the cathedral, Joey was sure he heard footsteps. Little talons clicking against old stone and glass. He put the knife away in favour of two-handing the crossbow.
With two fingers, Kaiba tapped something invisible in his ear, and a momentary flicker circled around to his eyes, making a heads-up display barely visible to the naked eye. Holograms and a thin headset, hidden beneath his well-coiffed hair.
Little rings on Kaiba’s fingers glowed as he manoeuvred through what Joey could only guess where menus and programs. Techie vampire hunter. That was a first. But he waited, rocking back on his heels and drinking in the calm, too calm, scenery around them. The wind had stilled. Clouds hid the moon.
“It’s time for you to go home now, Wheeler,” Kaiba said.
“I ain’t goin’ nowhere. I need this money, you don’t.”
Kaiba glowered sharply. “There are at least four or five bodies in there. You can’t handle this.”
“Oh yeah? Well neither can you. Wanna know why?” Joey asked. Indifference painted Kaiba’s face, but they’d run into each other just a little too often over the years. He saw the through the soullessness in Kaiba’s cold but imperious blue eyes. He was curious. “I got experience with this one. Can’t say that, can ya, huh? Too busy globerunnin’.”
“Trotting.”
“Whatever.” Joey shouldered the door open. The old wood screeched and mewled. Its edges scrapped against protruding cobblestone. “Point is: I know this one. You don’t. So ya need me here.”
Kaiba stared blankly. Rebooting, maybe. The headset could have fried his brain. After thirty seconds, he squeezed his eyes tight and bit back a growl. “Stay out of my way,” he demanded, pushing Joey to the side.
“Aye, aye cap’n,” Joey deadpanned.
It had been at least a century since a sermon had been conducted in the cathedral, Joey could hear a deacon giving speeches while he slid against the pews, kicking the back of his seat and praying to be anywhere but there. Flickering candlelight welcomed them into the short but wide chamber, and opening clouds let the stained glass paint the ashen bricks with more life than was living there. At the pulpit, gracefully splayed longways across a chair, was a blond woman looking at her nails and buffing one the pointer finger with the thumb of the other hand.
“I wondered how long it’d take you boys to get in here. I got the atmosphere all set up, hm?” she asked.
Joey shivered. “This can go easy, Mai.”
“Hmph, I don’t know what terrible movie you pulled that one from, but it ain’t happening that way, and you know it.”
Kaiba’s fingers tapped against his coat, and left Joey wondering what he was looking at. What kind of system he was running, exactly. Vitals? Targeting? Scanning? It was all mystery, but to him having a targeting system helped for diddly-squat when your target moved a million miles an hour.
Mai rolled off the chair and stood.
“I see you’ve brought a friend with you today, Joey. Isn’t he a dish?” Mai licked her lips and headed towards Kaiba, stopping when he drew one of the pistols and pulled back the hammer. “Oh, hun, no. That’s not how this goes.”
“Stop talking.”
Mai planted her hands on her hips. She sighed. “Oh, he’s a serious hunter. I see. Well, in that case,” she snapped her fingers. “Sic ‘em ladies.”
Mai’s fingers hadn’t finished touching before Kaiba pulled the trigger. Two shots rang out, both hitting the chair when Mai vaulted away. She chortled, deep and voluptuous, as three more bodies bolted out from hidden corners and crevices, throwing Joey somewhere in the middle of the pews. Termite eaten wood was his only saving grace, splintering and letting him fall to the floor, instead. The crossbow launched away from him.
In the fray, he lost where Kaiba had gone. He wasn’t standing, that was for sure. Just Mai, hovering above her perch with a wide set of pointed wings fluttering from her back. Fuck. When had that happened?
Joey scrambled to stand. “Kaib’, watch out she’s a...!”
One of the fluorescent ladies, not quite vampires but not quite...anything else he’d come to recognise...tackled him and bit towards his neck. Her claws tore into his leather jacket, digging into his arms while he fiddled around with the tools hidden on his hips. Round orbs, glass vials (some now shattered). He reached into his quiver and grabbed a bolt, thrusting it deep between the not-vampire creature’s ribs. It shrieked in his face but launched away.
Joey crab crawled back to his crossbow. Barely aiming, he fired at the distracted not-vampire, probably harpy creature. It pierced into her back.
Somewhere far in the distance, Kaiba ran by. Be had one of the other fluorescent harpies, of the pink haired variety, tethered by a bladed wire that cut through her wing, grounding her. It fought and squirmed, talons pulling at the string and swiping towards the brunet. She made no headway, and with one great tug Kaiba ripped the wing off, stumbling back to find his footing.
A great gust of wind blasted Kaiba back towards Joey. He landed with a sickening crack against the already destroyed section of pews, and a very un-Kaiba-like squeal escaped the haughty hunter.
Shit. He was hurt.
Hurriedly, Joey reloaded the crossbow and ran over to Kaiba. Everything was a mess of wood and dust. Kaiba pulled himself to his knees, but he gripped his left elbow. The low light didn’t hide the disjointed angle it hung at.
Joey grabbed Kaiba to help him stand, but he was shoved away.
“They’re Evolved,” Kaiba seethed. “Did you know that, Wheeler. Did your girlfriend tell you she was an Evolved?”
Another gust of wind alerted them to an orange haired harpy barrelling towards them. From behind, the blue-haired harpy with bolts in her staggered towards them, talons and teeth displayed.
Joey and Kaiba both fired forward, hitting the orange-haired harpy. With little grace, she plummeted into the pews and writhed, clawing at the burns wounds while cocooning herself in her wings.
Without a beat, Kaiba turned while Joey fumbled to reload, the harpy frozen inches from him before it fell back, collapsing on itself. He couldn’t tell if that was two or three down. His fingers had gone numb trying to notch the bolt. The nerves and the feeling of his heart being squeezed between his ribs came out of nowhere. Kaiba’s accusation, for one thing. His injury, for another. The insufferable prick was too perfect to get hurt.
“Ya a’right, Kaib’?”
“You didn’t answer my question,” Kaiba fired back.
Joey’s nose crinkled. “What?”
“Did you know your girlfriend was an Evolved?”
Joey looked off. His heart had fully squeezed through his ribs and was thickly slithering down his chest. “She ain’t my girlfriend.”
“Was. The timeline is moot,” Kaiba said. The headset was tapped into again, and he examined the area.
“It’s complicated.”
“Uncomplicate it. Now.”
“I can’t. There ain’t the time. But she was human before. And like...a normal thing when I faced her last time. But now she’s like whatever the...fuck this is. Fuck.” Joey ran his hand through his hair and watched as Kaiba’s eyes flicked everywhere, endlessly searching for something as he twisted in a circle. “Are ya a’right? Your arm ain’t lookin’ so hot...”
“Fine. Do you know how to handle an Evolved?”
“Yeah, yeah a’course I do,” Joey said. “It’s why ya can’t find her, right Mai? You’re cloaked in here an’ playin’ hard to get, aintcha? Well....we know how t’ fix that.”
Kaiba scoffed. “Doubtful. My scan can’t even pick up any of her kinetics. She’s fled.”
From behind, he pulled a small orb off of his belt. It was full of what looked like glitter, but it was much more powerful than that. The perplexed look on Kaiba’s face was priceless. He wanted to frame it. “Wanna test that theory?”
“More of your outdated tools?”
The orb was tossed in the air once before Joey lobbed it into the pulpit. He backed away and dragged Kaiba with him, turning them together to hide their faces from the blast of light and heat that filled the cathedral with a snow of glitter and ash, coating any surface it touched.
Kaiba’s head popped up.
“Star bomb, Gramps calls it. There,” Joey said, pointing in the corner of the room. A shapely lump of the ashy remains fluttered down. The camouflage Mai implemented flickered in and out, the ashes brightening as she concealed herself again. “Worked like a charm.”
Kaiba snorted derisively. “You got lucky.”
“Luck ain’t got nothin’ to do with it.”
Without warning, Kaiba fired from the hip. Mai dodged, and he was quick to pull the hammer back and fire again.
If there was anything Mai ever had, it was grace. She had been a lovely woman as a human, if not a little kitschy and over the top. Not that being turned made her any better, though her cocky attitude had shot through the roof. It had become bigger than Kaiba’s, if that was at all possible.
With her recent...did he call it an upgrade?...she somehow embodied the exact litheness and flexibility of a ballerina, twisting and turning with elegant precision through the hail of fire. She made it look easy, as if they had suddenly decided to visit the local Arts Center instead of an old cathedral.
But she was making a fool of Kaiba. It was her past time. And Kaiba, however egotistical he was about his abilities, was a better shot than Mai was making him out to be. One gun was discarded, the second pulled out. Too late.
Mai thrust Kaiba into a pillar and applied pressure to his maimed arm.
“Aren’t you just darling? I smelled you a mile away. Dior, hm? It doesn’t hide the smell of this,” she said, tearing a vial of jelly-like from his belt and crushing it in her palm. “Can’t make yourself immune to me now, hm? I’ll get to taste you properly.”
Kaiba thrust her to the ground, and used the butt of the gun to strike when he couldn’t get his finger on the trigger. Mai redirected the strike and kneed him in the groin. Kaiba narrowly blocked by making space with his hand, but gasped at the sheer force. Strong. Evolved were far and few between, and he almost wanted to keep her alive to get answers to how she managed to become Evolved in the first place.
Kaiba tussled with her, throwing her away and going to draw his knife. She struck him again. And again. And again before bucking him off of her. Kaiba hit another pew. Hard. His limp body fell face-first onto the floor.
Dead.
Very dead.
Ridiculously dead.
“Kaib’!” Joey shrieked. Unaimed, he turned and fired another bolt at Mai, and was already reaching back for the quiver when his body froze.
Mai strutted up to him, her nails grazing down his cheek and chin. “Oh ho. You look so good when you’re dumbfounded,” she purred. “I should keep you like this forever. Frozen, twitching. It’s a fun new talent, don’t you think? Or you called them ‘parlour tricks’, right?” she smiled. “Don’t worry, hun, I’m not mad at you. That was the past...and I could tell that you were that that into me, but...maybe you’re into him?’
Joey flinched. His fingers brushed the tails of his bolts, but he was dissuaded by something combusting in his veins. Instead, his arm moved painlessly against his will. One foot stepped back, then the other. Stiffly, he pivoted and walked towards Kaiba with Mai just behind him.
Something sluggish slithering through his head. It gripped at his brain and shut down anything that regarded feeling. His heart slowed, his breath evened out. He regarded Kaiba coolly on the outside, though he couldn’t help but be afraid. Dead. Kaiba was dead.
“Finish him, Joey,” Mai ordered.
Opening his mouth was pointless. A squelched noise replaced his voice. Unwillingly, he dropped to his knees and crawled up beside Kaiba. He couldn’t kill what was already dead, could he?
It didn’t matter. Mai had a hold on him and wouldn’t give him a choice.
Possession and charm had always been a myth, Joey thought. An old wive’s tale. A little piece of lore twisted by the media and empathic vampire sympathisers who wanted to be possessed and ‘have their hearts stolen’. The feeling made Joey sick.
He crawled over top of Kaiba and straddled him.
“...K...”
There was shuddered breath between Joey’s thighs. Kaiba bristled and twitched. Just the feeling of Kaiba beneath him was foreign and terrifying. The passing glances at Kaiba’s fine-but-too-long legs or his deep blue eyes that could really, really reflect the smile he acted like he couldn’t do, felt bigger suddenly. As if that feeling was being pressed upon in his brain. Specifically the sensation of Kaiba pressed against him earlier, knife to throat.
That same motion was carried out fluidly. Against his permission, Joey pinned Kaiba’s good arm to ground and unsheathed his knife. The edge was delicately place at Kaiba’s throat. He tried to fight it. He had to. Just like he had to fight the building erection. Every ounce of energy was focused on lifting from Kaiba’s backside or turning the knife so the flat side rested against Kaiba’s skin.
“Wheeler, you...!”
“...K...ai...”
“What the hell is wrong with you?”
“...K...ai...ba...”
The more Kaiba fought him, the more pressure Joey felt his groin put against him to contain the taller man. Pressure meant friction. Friction meant a fluttering heartbeat that, despite Mai’s best efforts, couldn’t be controlled. He was dizzy but focused. Afraid but forward. His body bent downuntil his nose was in Kaiba’s hair. He did smell nice. Whatever cologne he wore was tempestuous.
“Well, well, that was just a guess, Joe. I knew you weren’t that into me but... Seto Kaiba? Really?” Mai shrugged. “Guess we both have a thing for him. He’s all yours, hun.”
Fuck.
No. Not fuck. Any other word but fuck.
God, he was so confused. This was Kaiba. He was good-looking in the shittiest way possible. Passably attractive with a terrible personality. But with whatever the hell mind-control Mai had him under, all of the buried deep feelings, the little moments of running into each other at the Hunters HQ, fighting (physically and verbally), and the constant dick-measuring contest suddenly weighed on him. His stomach twisted in agony.
“Get the hell off me, Wheeler. I will...ahhh,” Kaiba’s voice broke as Joey dug the knife closer. “I will personally see you stripped of your license!”
Every synapse begged for this to just stop. His throat went dry clawing for words. “...I...Ka...Kai...ba...no...”
“Go on, Joey,” Mai whispered, carding her fingers through his hair. “You can do it. He’s just some arrogant hunter.”
Maybe it wasn’t manipulation. That terrified Joey the most. A surprise sob escaped him, the tears trickling into the thick of Kaiba’s hair. He didn’t want to do this, but his body was reacting and he reasoned that, if he had a choice, he would rather follow the original order. Kill Kaiba, forget his feelings. At least Kaiba wouldn’t be humiliated first. He didn’t hate the brunet that much. If Joey hated Kaiba at all.
More bucking. A trickle of blood ran from the tip of the knife. Joey’s hand slackened on the hilt.
“There you go,” Mai cooed, petting his head. “Just a little more.”
“....Kai...ba...I’m...I...don’t...”
Kaiba glanced up and his eyes widened. Joey was crying. “Goddammit Joey, just...just do it!”
The sound of his name on Kaiba’s lips made Joey’s body become weightless. The crushing pain that contorted his body lifted, and the knife was away from Kaiba’s neck and hilt deep in Mai’s side after just a blink. He worked on autopilot, pulling it out and preparing to lunge towards Mai, but the vampiress had shuffled back and launched off of the floor. The wound was cradled, blood seeping between her fingers.
“This is not the end of this!” she declared. She swept towards the stained glass, bursting through it and camouflaging into the night.
There was no point to chase her. Joey was too emotionally drained. A cursory glance at Kaiba still made him look dead, though his eyes were open and blinked maybe once while he processed everything.
Joey fell flat on his back.
“I...I don’t...know what just happened,” he said as he caught his breath.
“Careless,” replied Kaiba. His tone was tactful, but honest. Drained, too. “Stupid. Pretentious. Irresponsible. Unprepared. Inadequate.”
Any worse insults from Joey were squashed. Mostly because Kaiba was right, and he conceded to that. “Yeah. Maybe my tech was a little outdated...ya don’t gotta rub it in.”
“Not you.”
“Oh.”
That Kaiba didn’t get up gave Joey no cause to move. He was responsible for the shambled state his rival was in. Not the arm, but the cut on his neck, the vulnerable position with his ruffled pants. The pitiful, questioning look that made Kaiba look like he was staring into the vacuum of time and space itself. He could have gotten a concussion, but Joey wasn’t sure.
Joey looked away. “I didn’t mean to...”
“Spare me.”
“Right.”
Kaiba exhaled. “It wasn’t your fault. She played you.”
“It’s what she’s good at,” Joey said, swallowing his mirthful laugh. “It’s...complicated, like I said.”
“Because of her?” Kaiba asked, though the lilt in his voice bordered on curious but shy. As if he regretted the question after asking.
“Maybe. Maybe both of us,” Joey said. “Nah, mostly me. Definitely me.”
Kaiba groaned. He flipped onto his back, nestling his disjointed arm into the cinch of his jacket for a makeshift sling. “Make up your mind before I vomit,” he said.
“I don’t think I gotta spell it out,” Joey admitted, sheepish. The whole altercation felt surreal, and his body tingled from the lack of control and agency. He imagined Kaiba was swimming with it, too. “I mean, she was dangerous fun tail to chase an’ I enjoyed it,” Kaiba scoffed, “but, it ain’t all about that. I guess. I dunno, haven’t been explorin’ since this job has a way of fuckin’ with you.”
“That it does.”
As Kaiba sat up, so did Joey.
“Are ya okay, Kaib’?” he asked. When he offered his arm, Kaiba took it to heave upright, stumbling. Maybe definitely a concussion. “We need t’ get ya to the clinic before it gets too bad.”
“Whatever.”
There was brief pause. Joey realised their arms were linked. His instinct to pull away was met with the instinct to be closer. He didn’t know why. Really, what had just gone on didn’t make sense and didn’t feel right. But Joey wanted to be close and gentle. He wanted to show Kaiba that he wasn’t a brute. Even if it was their job to be. So instead, he did nothing and waited for Kaiba to continue to accept or reject the help.
Kaiba stepped forward.