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Do not leave important questions to text messages. Rhodey and Tony learn the hard way.
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Oneshot
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Йц
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God this is hilarious
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Jim grinned and dodged the second snap. Before Tony could take a third shot, he grabbed the towel and yanked it free. "Sure. When hell freezes over."
Tony scrambled after the towel while Jim twisted to keep it out of his reach. "You know that's what they said about me ever getting married, right?"
"...damn it." Jim ducked under one of Tony's arms, then came up and grabbed him by the shoulders. "Tony, I want you to listen to me carefully. You know what the letters DP stand for right? Other than domestic partnership?"
Deep lines appeared on Tony's forehead as he frowned. "Davis-Putnam algorithm?"
"No," Jim hissed, shaking him once. "Double penetration, that's what."
At first, Tony didn't respond. Then the blood slowly drained out of his face. "Oh God."
"Exactly!" Jim let go and shoved the towel at him. "Be more careful when you text, man."
The towel dropped from Tony's hands to the polished hardwood. "No— No, you don't understand—" He rubbed his face, but he'd gone so pale that it barely brought any blood back to his cheeks. "I text messaged an invite to Wiccan and Hulkling just before you got here."
Back by the leg press, Tony's phone let out a cheerful chime.