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A/N: Hello, people!
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"I believe I have made a mistake," Dumbledore announced the moment they all sat down to begin the next Order meeting.
Lily Evans blinked, wondering just what it was that could make the old man look so contrite. He looked far older than usual and the guilt on his face aged him considerably. They weren't used to seeing him so down and defeated.
"I spent the last few weeks attempting to locate a certain individual in hopes of recruiting him to our side. His talents would be very beneficial to us especially since he refused Tom's offers and has been on the run from him ever since. I offered him sanctuary in exchange for his services."
She couldn't for the life of her think of who it could possibly be. Not Slughorn. Of all people, he would have connections and wouldn't have to rely upon Dumbledore for help.
"Unfortunately," the Headmaster sighed, "it seems that my own actions and inaction have made it so this individual would rather die by Tom's hand than side with me either."
That was just rude of them. There was no need for that attitude surely.
"And I cannot say I blame him," the old wizard went on to say. "I have made this mistake before, but I didn't think it would happen quite like this this time."
"What mistake, Albus?" McGonagall asked, looking almost mortified that someone so good and righteous would make such a blunder that he was embarrassed by his own actions.
"In the past I have allowed students who I thought held questionable character flaws, to experience some torment at the hands of their peers in hopes that some suffering would set them onto the straight and narrow and they would change for the better. A little struggle builds character, in my opinion.
"Tom was my first attempt and as you can see, it failed. Foolishly, I assumed I could do the same again but it seems not only did I judge the situation incorrectly, but I managed to push away several potential allies because I didn't step in to help them when it was required of me to do so as their Headmaster."
Lily felt something uncomfortable take root in her stomach. What the Headmaster had described sounded very familiar.
Also, she was a bit disgusted that a man with power over a large group of children, who was responsible for their well-being while they were away from home, let some of them get hurt emotionally or physically all because in his mind he made assumptions about them and deemed himself completely correct. He was human, not a god. Sometimes it seemed like he forgot that bit.
Tom Marvolo Riddle, a then-believed muggleborn, becoming even worse as a result of being looked down upon by his fellow Slytherins until he could prove himself stronger than them by overpowering them, was believable. Because she'd seen something similar happen to Snape.
"Who's the person you're trying to recruit, Dumbledore?" James asked as he adjusted himself in his chair beside Lily. "I could talk them into joining I'm sure. I'm pretty convincing," he said with a cocky brow waggle.
Both Lily and Dumbledore were shaking their heads before he even finished speaking though. It was a terrible idea to send James anywhere to talk to anyone! He was not persuasive in the least and if Dumbledore tried to recruit... who she thought he did, James would be the worst option.
"I'm afraid you would be the last person Mr. Snape wants to talk to, James." She was right! "Especially since your most recent attack on him was less than a month ago while he was minding his own business while shopping for potions ingredients in Diagon Alley. You and Sirius were banned from the apothecary as a result because you caused an explosion without thinking about how dangerous your actions would be to everyone else in the shop. Mr. Mulpepper is quite displeased with you and informed me about the property damage your little stunt caused that he still expects you to pay for."
Lily's eyes went wide and she pulled away from her boyfriend's arm, wanting to make distance immediately. "What?" Lily asked sternly. "Care to explain what he means by that, James?" she hissed.
Not only did James' eyes go wide with horror, but Sirius, Remus, and Peter all went wide-eyed as well. All four looked extremely guilty, like they'd just been caught at the scene of a tragic crime with the cards stacked entirely against them and their only chance of escaping punishment had deciding to not to take their side.
"He was skulking about and acting suspicious!" Sirius declared with a pout.
She would swear she had a flashback to something similar being said to her countless times while in school. All to justify petty, childish behaviour that had been unwarranted.
"I don't care if everyone wearing black robes and perusing potions ingredients looks suspicious to you," she countered, "neither of you are Aurors yet. It's not your job to determine who is and isn't a criminal nor is it your job to dole out punishment. You vandalised Mr. Mulpepper's private property all to assault someone you don't like simply because you're biased against them for stupid reasons. Those are real criminal offences that you can do time over!
"Furthermore, you promised me that you stopped this childish behaviour! You told me you stopped harassing people! That's the only reason I even gave you a chance. I don't want to legally link myself in name to a bloody bully, James!"
And her boyfriend, who apparently hadn't learned yet, simply sputtered, looking to his best friend for help. Unfortunately, Sirius fucked them both over by saying, "It's just Snivellus. It doesn't matter if it's him we kept bullying! He barely counts as a person!"
Remus' head fell into his open palms with a sigh and Peter looked reading to melt into the floor. The rest of the gathered Order, sans Dumbledore and McGonagall, looked very confused over what was happening. But McGonagall seemed to be on the verge of hexing either man, judging by how tight her mouth had gotten.
Lily felt… betrayed. Now she could understand why Snape had looked so hurt when he found out that she and James were dating.
Even when her friendship with Snape had ended, she hadn't rushed to take James' side. She still insulted him and still spurned his advances for an entire year! She hadn't lied when she said that she didn't want to be with a bully. Someone who attacks others unprovoked and strips them in front of a crowd all because he was bored, didn't sound like someone worth dating.
However, if that person truly repented and promised to do better, then she'd be willing to give them a chance. Which was how she and James ended up together.
He hadn't been assigned any detentions and barely lost points all throughout their Seventh Year. He swore he had changed and stopped being such a gobshite! So of course she'd believed him since the proof was right before her eyes. Even McGonagall had remarked upon his improved attitude and usually she was good at reading people!
But in Snape's eyes, it looked like she'd agreed with the bullying. She willingly chose to date someone who was harassing students, meaning she'd become complacent in his actions. As the Head Girl, she hadn't held the Head Boy accountable, which made her look equally bad.
Now she had to find out, in front of her old Head of House and Headmaster, that it was all a lie. They'd continued harassing Snape and probably many others because that was how the Marauders were. Dumbledore certainly knew about it. He felt guilty over doing nothing about it when it occurred! All because in his mind he assumed he knew everything and only his methods were the right way to handle the situation.
And he was really only feeling guilty because Severus didn't want to join the Order to fight against You-Know-Who. Therefore his talents couldn't be used by Dumbledore. He was a tool that wasn't free to be used basically.
She was so angry she didn't know what to do with her hands! Her fingers hurt from being clenched so tightly into fists.
"Mr. Snape is not a Death Eater. He never was one, he never wanted to be one, and even when I helped prove that our side obviously wasn't going to be there for him when he needed our help, he didn't join Tom's side," Dumbledore explained. "Tom has had his eye on Mr. Snape ever since he beat Tom's records for the Potions and DADA O.W.L.s. Before then, he'd just been a Slytherin student saddled with bigoted roommates who hated him."
Both James and Sirius scoffed, making Lily want to strangle the both of them.
"Mr. Snape has left the community entirely and is using muggle means to travel somewhere else. He has nothing left here worth staying for so he didn't feel inclined to bother with us and our problems."
"What about his mum?" Lily asked, worried about how Eileen would take the separation. The woman was barely holding on as it was.
"In the past month, Tobias Snape finally got fed up with Eileen Prince's magical outbursts 'being against God', and strangled her to death. When Mr. Snape returned home that same evening, his father shot him with a revolver, and then shot himself in the head with it, claiming 'only God can judge him'. Severus Snape only lived because of the potions he had on hand. Eileen could had saved herself, but after years of her and her son being tormented by her muggle husband, she simply didn't have the will to live any longer and let herself be killed, knowing that her son was old enough to leave home and fend for himself without her."
The entire Order looked a cross between horrified and ill. And the Marauders, Dumbledore's own darling knights, looked to be taking it the worst. Next to no one knew how horrible Severus' home life was after all. They'd assumed he'd been taught Dark Magic from the cradle and was just a horrible, pampered person through and through.
As if James wasn't the very definition of a privileged pampered prince.
They never listened when Lily spoke. Lily, who had met Eileen many times and knew that she was dangerously gaunt in the face and too thin all in an effort to keep her son well fed with what little Tobias brought home each week. Eileen, who made Severus leave the house for hours upon hours every day just so he could avoid gaining his father's attention. Eileen, who had taken the brunt of her husband's wrath to protect her son since he was all they had and it was at least better than homelessness.
And now Severus was orphaned and had a Dark Lord after his skills. And he couldn't even trust that Dumbledore's side would help him since Dumbledore failed to do so all throughout their school years when it was Dumbledore's job to keep him safe.
She was disappointed for many reasons. In many people, including herself.
Lily didn't know what to do. James had lied to her, and his friends had been in on the lie. They let her believe a bunch of lies all so he could finally get a date.
He'd harassed her for dates ever since their Fourth Year, and he only got what he wanted after years of being told to bugger off, because he set up an elaborate lie.
And if the Headmaster hadn't revealed the information on Severus, then she never would have known. They certainly wouldn't have told her about it.
Now she didn't know what to do.
She'd been strung along the entire time. Did James think it was funny? He finally got the trophy he'd been after. He got what he thought Severus had had all those years. He even got to take her virginity and strutted about the school like a peacock the very next day over it.
Was he really in love with her or was this all a snub in Severus' face to remind him of what he could never have?
As if Lily and Severus had ever been interested in each other in such a way. No one ever listened. It wasn't like that.
Now what?
Did she break up with James? Their whole relationship was built upon a foundation of carefully concealed lies. She'd been nothing but honest with her own feelings and experiences. She felt like she'd been made a fool of. The person she thought she knew was fake and only existed to trick her into a relationship.
How many people thought she was also a bully? How did associating with James Potter and his friends affect her life?
Lily was not unaware of the fact that she only had friends in Gryffindor, who were also James' friends. All of them sang him praises in any way they could to get her to go out with him.
All of her friends outside of Gryffindor stopped reaching out when she started dating James, she realised. She knew nothing about how they were doing in recent months. They made no effort to talk to her and it was probably because James was practically attached to her hip all day every day. And with James came his friends that she couldn't escape.
Somehow, Lily's life had been made to thoroughly surround James Potter and his desires. Not one thing wasn't affected by his presence. He even further ruined her relationship with Petunia because he couldn't behave for one bloody evening!
Could she even trust him after this?
What else had he lied about? What else did his little friends cover up for him just so he could get what his heart was so greedy for?
Could a marriage even happen when one was nothing but a filthy little liar and the other couldn't trust their spouse to tell the truth?
Remus and Sirius looked to be the most worried. James didn't seem to realise just how angry she was. His arrogance once again didn't let him see past his own nose.
He was proud of himself. Even though they'd just heard that Severus wasn't a Death Eater, hadn't ever planned on being one, was abused by his father, and was now orphaned because of said father, he still sat there like he was king of the fucking world. Like nothing could ruin his day.
Dumbledore sighed. "I suppose we can just be grateful that Mr. Snape simply wants to avoid this war entirely. We should respect that decision."
Yes, they really should.
"I don't want to hear anything about Severus Snape from now on. I don't want to find out that any of you have been attacking people unjustly based upon only your assumptions of them. I don't want to have to step in personally if you prove that you cannot be trusted with power or authority. My word holds immeasurable weight in Magical Britain and if you want to be Aurors so badly, you'll learn to act appropriately. This is not school and you are no longer children."
While the Marauders looked somewhat chastised, they didn't look chastised enough in her opinion.
When the meeting ended, James was faced with Lily's intense glare.
"We need to have a talk about honesty and culpability," she said firmly. "And we need to see if this can really work out between us when you're a damn bully who has to lie and fabricate a whole personality just to get into a woman's knickers to get back at her ex-friend that you're jealous of."
And finally, James seemed to realise that things were not okay between them. Why he even thought she'd be fine after learning about his actions, she didn't know, but it made her feel even more bitter as a result.
Suddenly, Potter didn't seem like a surname she wanted.
As for Severus Snape, he was enjoying the most sun he'd ever gotten, courtesy of the Bahamas, thank you very much.
A/N: FINISHED!
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