Release Your Inhibitions

by Just_here_for_a_laugh

Summary:

When a burst of toxin hits Wonder Woman, Superman, and Batman the JLA rushes them to the Watchtower medbay. As Wonder Woman and Superman wake up it becomes clear that this gas makes its victims lose their inhibitions, and the team shudders to think what the Dark Knight will do with no reservations and a missing no-kill policy. However, once the Bat does rouse, he just might give them the shock of their lives

The 'Star Trek:The Naked Time' AU no one asked for a.k.a. Bruce loses all filters and won't shut up about his kids

Part 4 of my Justice League discovers the Batfam series!

This was not good. They had no idea what to do and this was not good. This was bad.

The Justice League had gone up against a new villain bent on world domination, which in and of itself was nothing new. However, every first encounter with a new threat has some level of unpredictability, and this time the Big Three had been hit. The bad guy had been knocking out League members right and left which meant it was time to assemble the big guns. As the three had converged from different points in the battlefield and the team watched with almost giddy excitement as they wound up for one of their epic SuperWonderBat villain-vanquishing ego-crushing suckerpunches, the JLA suddenly found themselves gaping in horror as a blue cloud slammed into the three heroes and knocked them out cold.

Panicked and angry, the team found a new adrenaline fueled vigor and brought down the threat. As soon as the danger to the public was eliminated they raced back to the Tower with the unconscious superheroes in tow. Martian Manhunter had concluded that the gas was some sort of neuroagent that affected the psyche. There didn’t appear to be any physical danger and the concentration suggested that the effect would wear off, and sooner rather than later at that, but the exact nature of the mental effects would remain unclear until they roused. The League had sat pensively at the large conference table, playing out worse case scenarios to themselves. It could be some sort of mind control drug, or an amnesia agent, or something like that toxin Batman had told them Scarecrow used in Gotham; there was no telling. The only thing they could do was wait.

The hours stretched on for what felt like days, but soon they had started to wake up. Wonder Woman had woken first, and initially there seemed to be hardly any effect at all. The team had all rushed to her bed when the sensors indicated that she was awake, and while she did seem a bit more enthusiastic and touchy than usual, gripping them all into tight bear hugs and laughing heartily, that was not entirely out of character for Diana. They were beginning to think that maybe they had gotten lucky and the gas had just been for show, but then the pranks started. It was simple stuff but frequent and unpredictable. She stole Green Arrow’s pen when he looked the other way and moved a chair when Aquaman stood so that he came crashing down a few seconds later. Then she jumped out at J’onn from behind a corner and Arrow caught her positioning Barry’s soda so that it spilled if he ran past.

The pranks were a little unusual but they weren’t harming anything and so long as they weren't on you they were pretty funny, so the team began to relax a little. That is until she began seeing what more and more ridiculous trick shots she could do with her bow inside the Tower and then challenged Barry to a duel with a longsword. Desperately trying to figure out how to stop Diana from turning the Watchtower into a Themyscirian training ground, the League heard the monitor signal Superman’s waking brainwaves. Nervously, they went to check on him, bringing Diana with them.

Superman was a little confused when he came to, but he seemed to get a hold of himself pretty quickly. Smiling at his friends, he asked what had happened. They walked him through it, the Man of Steel nodding thoughtfully all the while.

“So you got them?” he asked finally.

“Yeah,” said Green Arrow, “after you guys went down we pulled together and wrapped it up.”

“Good,” he smiled, and that seemed to be the end of it. The team watched hesitantly as Diana locked him in a crushing embrace while they both laughed and wondered if the gas was manifesting itself the same way in Superman. He didn’t appear to be responding like Diana had, but maybe it just hadn’t been long enough. Once again the team resigned themselves to waiting, but it turned out that they didn’t have to wait very long. The team was sitting in the lounge when suddenly Superman thought of something and checked his phone.

“Shit,” he swore, “I missed a call from my editor.” The League members looked at each other. It wasn’t like they had NEVER heard Superman swear, but he was an extremely polite guy when he wasn’t smashing a car into an opponent, and while he didn’t mind everybody else speaking however they wanted to he tended to avoid anything that might wrinkle feathers. The few instances they had heard him use a four letter word or nine were in serious situations that called for some extreme rhetoric, not a simple missed phone call. He dialed back and started talking without bothering to leave the room, something else that struck them as strange. Superman was incredibly private about his personal life and to see him talking to his editor in front of them was extremely unusual. They hadn’t even known he had an editor. Editor of what? Was the Man of Steel secretly a world famous novelist? A political speech writer? A journalist? Their speculations were cut short when he shocked them yet again. He had been sitting with an unimpressed expression for most of the call, throwing in a few one or two word answers here and there, but evidently the moment of truth had arrived and he had no qualms about rising to it.

“Because frankly Perry I don’t give a fuck, and if you want me on some bullshit assignment you’re gonna have to do a lot better than ‘because I said so.’ I’ve got things to do and covering a chain store opening doesn’t even make the top fifty. Call me when you have something worth my time.” He hung up and saw his team members gaping at him. “What?” he asked. Before they could formulate an answer Wonder Woman called out from the Tower kitchen.

“Hey Clark!” she shouted.

“Yeah?” Superman hollered back to their astonishment.

“Did you bring in this pie?”

“Yeah, Ma made it. Help yourself!”

“Thank you,” she called before walking in with a slice, “and give my thanks to the Lady Kent, whose pies are the greatest in all the cosmos.” Clark laughed.

“I will, she loves that you call her that.”

“It is why I do,” Diana grinned. The rest of the League was frozen in a shocked stupor. Superman’s name was Clark. Clark Kent. And he had a mom. And an editor. And Wonder Woman knew. She knew Superman’s mom. She might even know his editor. Anything was possible it seemed, and the known universe was spinning around their heads. What was happening?

Reluctant as they were to leave the two superhumans unattended, they had to figure out what was going on. Turning on the surveillance systems to keep an eye on the two, the four unaffected members went into the main conference room and shut the door.

“Okay what is happening?” Barry nearly screeched as soon as the lock clicked.

“I don’t know but it’s freaking me out man,” came Arthur’s reply.

“It’s like they don’t care,” Green Arrow said, “but only about certain things which makes even less sense.” His thoughts were on the identity reveal like everyone else’s. It was true that most of the League was pretty open about their identity within the walls of the Tower, with only his own, Batman’s, and Superman’s remaining secret, but the three of them were very intent on keeping those identities undisclosed and everyone knew and respected that. Until five minutes ago, when Wonder Woman had completely disregarded that notion and called Superman by his civilian name, and he had gone along with it like she had asked him the time of day. They just gave up the charade completely.

“I think you may be right Green Arrow,” J’onn mused. The other three looked to him. “I believe what we are dealing with is a toxin which eliminates inhibitions in those who have been exposed to it. This would account for the unusual yet not unbelievable behavior of our companions.” Suddenly it made sense. They were still themselves, but now without the constrictions of leadership, duty, politeness, or secrecy. Whatever they felt like doing, they did, consequences be damned.

“Wait, wait wait,” Barry started.

“Batman,” Arther and Arrow said in unison.

“If this stuff turns off Spooky’s self control switch, oh man,” Barry shuddered. If even Superman was getting rude with his boss, who knows what sort of damage an angry unhinged Batman could do. Martian Manhunter nodded.

“We must be sure that nothing untoward is allowed to happen.”

“And right now the only other people who can usually stop him might laser his head or run him through,” Arthur added.

“Well,” Arrow sighed, “this will be fun.” Flash shook his head.

“Uh-uh, we need reinforcements. Arrow, get Black Canary down here. J’onn, Arthur, get...whoever it is you get. Zatanna! J’onn get Zatanna. I’m calling Hal.”

“What’s Green Glowstick gonna do about it?” Arthur asked as Barry dialed.

“I don’t know, but we need all the help we can get.” Hal popped up on the video screen and Barry turned his focus to him. “Hey! Lantern! Get down here, the Big Three got Star Trekked and we gotta patrol Batman when he wakes up.”

“What?” Hal asked, “What does that even mean?”

“It means Battsy’s got Sword-Fighting-Sulu disease and we need to stop him from blowing up Arkham so get over here!” Suddenly the words seemed to click in Hal’s mind, if no one else’s, and he nodded quickly.

“On it!” he said and cut the line. He was the first of the reinforcements to arrive and he came in to see the team watching Wonder Woman and Superman spar delightedly in the lounge over the security system and trying to come up with any sort of game plan for the impending disaster.

“Do you think he would listen to Superman’s mom?” asked Aquaman.

“It’s possible,” came Barry’s voice, muffled by the table he had his head on in exhaustion and exasperation. “Diana seems to like her.”

“Woah,” Hal said as he took in the sight. “This looks worse than I thought. And Diana listens to Superman’s mom?” he added in confusion. Arrow sighed.

“It’s a long story. Right now we just need to worry about Batman. He’s human,” he paused slightly and the phrase ‘as far as we know’ hung in the air; “so he didn’t wake up as fast as the other two which has given us some time. But we also have to consider the fact that that might mean the effects last longer on him than they do on them, however long may be.” Suddenly the heart rate monitor on the screen started beeping faster. All they could do for a moment was stare at the steadily strengthening readout.

“Speak of the devil,” Hal breathed.

The five sober people in the Tower cautiously walked into the medbay, all eyes on the groggy bat before them.

J’onn spoke first. “Hello Batman, are you feeling alright?” The Dark Knight nodded, though he looked like he had a major headache.

“What happened?” he ground out.

“You were hit with a knockout agent along with Superman and Wonder Woman. They have already awoken.”

“Knockout gas,” Batman repeated to himself as though trying to remember. Suddenly he shot up in the bed, wincing through the pain. “What day is it?” he asked gruffly. “Is it the twenty-fourth?”

“No,” Green Arrow answered, his voice laced with confusion, “you’ve only been unconscious for a few hours.” Batman sighed in relief and laid back down.

“What’s the twenty fourth?” Hal couldn’t help but ask, curiosity getting the better of him as usual.

“Stephanie’s science fair,” the Bat breathed, his voice shaky. The fall from the explosion had done more damage to him than the others. “She’s been growing tomatoes with filtered water and water from the river near Ace Chemicals to see the difference in plant health.” He smiled. “She’s been working so hard, watering them at specific intervals, she’s only missed one the whole time. I’m so proud of her,” he went on, looking further away as he kept talking, possibly even misty eyed but it was almost impossible to tell under the cowl. Amongst the team the confusion and unrest was palpable and no one quite knew how to respond. Without thinking, Barry asked,

“Who’s Stephanie?”

“My daughter.”

The room broke out into chaos.

Cries of “YOUR WHAT” and “NO WAY” rang out trampling over one another as the League members clambered to get their minds around the idea of Batman having a little girl. The cacophony was largely indistinguishable but somehow one phrase did manage to be more or less intelligible and the Bat caught onto it and answered.

“Yes,” he chuckled, “I have several kids.” The commotion got even greater and Flash felt like he might pass out. Then suddenly the door opened.

“Bruce!” Clark and Diana shouted gleefully, drawn in by all the screaming. Batman grinned.

“Hey!” he laughed as Diana squeezed him into a hug and Clark put a hand on his shoulder. Just when the light headed Leaguers thought they couldn’t be any more shocked, Batman took off his cowl to better hug Diana, revealing none other than Bruce Wayne. Yep, Barry was definitely gonna pass out.

Releasing Diana, Batman - Bruce freaking Wayne - appeared to suddenly have a thought. “Clark!’ he gasped, “Go get the photo album on my coffee table! The one in the parlor not the library.”

“On it!” Superman grinned before anyone could try to stop him, and two sonic booms later he was back with a thick, well used book in his hand. Bruce smiled as he took it and Clark and Diana hopped onto the bed on either side of him to look over his shoulders. The Dark Knight, unmasked and unrestrained, fearless and more dangerous than he had ever been, looked up at his team and motioned them over, beaming. Stunned, they came over to the bed and looked at the pictures laying across his lap.

“This is me and this is Alfred and this is Dick and here’s Jason and,” Bruce pointed out every member of the astonishingly large family picture, being sure to include the names of each pet and even a stuffed animal. Then he flipped the page and started showing off what he called baby pictures despite the children in them all being of extremely varying ages. Then came pictures of no clear organization that the League could think of except...everyday life; a very strange thought to associate with Batman, or with Bruce Wayne for that matter. Suddenly the Big Three, Clark and Diana having apparently seen this album enough to know the stories behind the pictures, laughed as Bruce pointed to an image of a preteen standing waist high in a room of bubbles. “This is Tim’s first time doing laundry,” he chuckled and, shocked as they still were, the heroes couldn’t help but laugh. The boy was looking at the camera with bubbles in his hair and a look of worry plastered across his face that was absolutely priceless. While the picture itself was hilarious, something else that they all noticed was that the look was not of worry about what his father was going to do to him, but of how they were going to clean up the bubbles. There was no fear in the photograph, and that gave a sense of warmth to the laughter that they couldn’t exactly describe. Bruce turned the page again and chuckled.

“Here’s the time we went to a charity function where we had to wear name tags and Jay changed Terry’s to ‘Jerry’ and he didn’t notice for an hour.” He laughed again even harder, “And here’s Jay laughing at him when he did finally realize.”

“Wait, is Jerry the turkey?” Hal asked and burst into laughter along with him when Batman nodded.

“Ooh show them the one with Harper and Damian fencing in their halloween costumes!” Clark chimed in. “It’s the feather boa that really makes that one,” he added playfully.

“And the one of Cassandra and Duke reclining in pool chairs waering matching sunglasses!” Dianna suggested. Clark nodded at her emphatically.

“Is that the one Cullen took where you can see Carrie chasing Damian with a water gun in the background?”

“And Damian is screaming in outrage?” she cackled, nodding. “Yes!”

It had been bewildering and overwhelming at first but the longer that the League sat together with the Bat looking through the photos of his family, the more relaxed they became. Soon they were all in each other’s personal space and laughing over pictures like it was any other meeting with old friends. Which, in a way, it was. The album was filled with milestones and mishaps and every day moments. They saw a thrilled young boy swinging from a chandelier as a frantic Bruce tried to reach for him, followed by many more as the boy grew, now without the panicked father who had evidently learned to accept that he was powerless to stop the boy and to trust that his son would be okay. There was one of a child posing fiercely with dual katanas, his intimidation factor severely cut down by his missing front teeth. One was of a girl with long blonde hair holding a water balloon over a balcony in wait of unsuspecting family members below, the angle of the photo clearly showing it was taken by a co-conspirator. There was Tim teaching a younger boy, Matt, how to skateboard and Cassandra petting two huge dogs. Another showed a human pyramid topped by a boy, Jason if they were keeping track of the names correctly, in a Wonder Woman stance. The fact that in any family not trained in mad vigilante skills and upper body strength the boy should have been one of the pyramid’s base members and definitely not it’s capstone reaffirmed the suspicions the team was beginning to have about just who all those colorful crime fighters who hung around Gotham late at night actually were. There were snapshots of antics and moments, and even some that came in pairs like the image of two children, who Bruce explained were Barbara and Dick, exhausted from a long day of playing passed out in a single armchair, followed by another of the two in their twenties asleep in the same chair, Dick having evidently lifted Barbara from her wheelchair into his lap and then the both of them deciding they were too tired to move.

The pictures kept going, hundreds of moments in Bruce’s life they had previously known nothing about, and they weren’t limited to his (frankly extraordinary number of) children. There were photos of family cookouts with a trio Bruce explained to be his cousin, her wife, and their daughter, all of whom seemed to have the same Bat family spirit of mischief if the image of Bruce being pushed into the pool was anything to go by. There was an older man Bruce referred to as the Commissioner who seemed to largely watch the chaos with a fond smile, and in a few there was a woman with beautiful dark hair and skin as well an expression with the clear potential to turn terrifying if need be. There was also another woman who showed up in many of the pictures on and off throughout the years, though more and more in the newer photos. She tended to show up in what were clearly aftermath images, sly smirk accompanied by grinning kids and absolutely no evidence of any hand in the chaos. She was in a few milestone pictures as well as the everyday, and there was a polaroid of just her, close up and a little shaky, looking beautiful and carefree with laughter in her eyes as she blew a kiss to the person behind the camera; nearly too intimate and personal to look at for more than a moment.

And then there was Alfred. The three JLA members already privy to this knowledge had said he was the butler, but anyone could tell that he was much much more than that. There were pictures of him in every era of the album’s timeline and in every situation one could imagine. He was cooking, fighting imaginary dragons in cardboard armor, reassuring a worried child while tending to a cat’s injured leg, watching exasperatedly as different members of the family got into absurd shenanigans, and laughing warmly with them in the chaos. Most notably, there were pictures of Alfred reading to each of the children, all taken covertly as he told a bedtime story to an eager child or read from classic tales to a young adult shaken by a nightmare, the pictures going back even to the times of Bruce’s early childhood in which his parents still appeared. One thing connected all the many varied pictures of the man however, and that was their point of view. In each, even where he was not the focus he was framed with love and adoration. He was framed like a hero. Bruce’s hero.

As they sat and listened to him talk about his family, the stories and laughter bubbling up out of him, the League learned more about Bruce than they had in all their years of knowing him. Not just about his life but about who he was as a person, and who he strove to be. It was complicated and there were things they still didn’t understand, like which kids actually lived at the Manor and which didn’t and which lived in different dimensions, or why they could have sworn they remembered a news report about Jason’s death years ago despite his very clear presence in recent pictures, or where the family had gotten a cow or that gigantic red dragon-bat, but they understood the essentials: Batman was a man named Bruce with a huge and complicated family that he loved more than anything else. And that was good enough for them.

While it was amazing and hilarious getting to know their friend so much better and seeing the adventures and misadventures of his family and their friends (who included two boys that, to the League’s even further astonishment, turned out to be Clark’s!), Batman was still suffering from an altered mental state and really needed to be with someone who already knew all these things about him, so after a while Barry motioned to Martian Manhunter to step aside with him.

“We really need to do something”

“Indeed,” nodded J’onn. They had done their best to keep the situation contained, cancelling all the backup they had called for when they had assumed Batman was going to go on the rampage of the century, and putting the Tower on the highest level of security, but now they had to figure out a way to get the heroes home without accidentally enabling them to blow their own covers to the world. They looked over at the little crowd around the photo album and considered their options, just in time to hear someone ask “Is that a starfish?” and the Big Three chime “That’s Jarro!” Barry snorted a laugh and shook his head. They knew a lot of Bruce’s family now, but they still had no idea how to contact them. Even if he hadn’t been the most paranoid superhero in the world it was still pretty difficult to get a billionaire’s home phone number, and while they knew Diana’s secret identity they had no idea who to call to come get her. There was really only one person they knew of whose information would not be encrypted and would in fact possibly even be inside the Tower. The two discussed it for a moment and decided it was for the best. Slipping over to the personal affects area, Barry picked up an address book. He chuckled. Leave it to him to still use an honest to goodness address book. He flipped through the pages and then dialed a number.

“Hello, Mrs. Kent?”

Ten minutes later the zeta tube whooshed and Flash breathed a sigh of relief. He had explained to Ma Kent who he was and what had happened in the fight. He had told her that Clark and the others were alright but that the toxin made them lose their inhibitions, they had revealed their identities, and that from what they had said he was pretty sure she knew all three of them and might know how to get in contact with someone and he really didn’t know what else to do and Wonder Woman had a sword and Batman was going through pictures and oh gosh please please help. Ma Kent had laughed until she could barely breathe and then thanked him for the call. She was glad to know they were safe and said she would take care of things from here.

He walked into the tube room just as Alfred stepped out accompanied by who he was pretty sure were Bruce’s sons Dick and Jason. The older man smiled and extended his hand.

“Good evening Mr. Allen,” Alfred said warmly. “Martha Kent called and informed me of the situation. I am here to collect the three rather unfortunate victims of today’s misadventure.” The boys behind him giggled and Barry couldn’t help but smile.

“We’re just here to see loopy Bruce,” Jason smirked.

“Thank you,” Barry told Alfred before shaking Dick and Jason’s hands as well. “I’m Barry, but I’ve got a feeling you already knew that,” he grinned. The two boys laughed.

“Afraid so,” Dick smiled, “but I guess now we’re even.”

“Well,” Jason grinned at Barry, “halfway. He still doesn’t know which of us belongs to which costume.” Dick smacked the back of his brother’s head.

“Way to go Jay, now he knows we’re in the hero community,” he chided. Jason smacked him back in retribution.

“Oh please, once you know Bruce is the Bat it’s not a big leap from us to the birds.”

“Still, you don’t know for sure if-”

“Boys,” Alfred interrupted, rolling his eyes fondly. Barry smiled.

“Yeah, we had sort of put two and two together. But you’re right, we don’t know which one is which. Your uniforms are pretty killer when it comes to hiding that.” He smiled and turned back to Alfred. “Are you going to be taking all three of them?”
“I am going to bring all of them to the Manor, then I will leave Master Bruce in the care of the others until I return and fly Miss Diana and Mister Clark to the Kent family home where Mr. and Mrs. Kent will look after them. They are like myself very accustomed to battle recovery techniques and impulsive superheroes.”

“Alright,” Barry nodded. That sounded okay to him. He led the three Waynes to the medbay and opened the door. “Look who’s here everybody,” he called and the three faces together on the middle bed lit up.

“Alfred!” they all cried and jumped up to hug him. Bruce got there first and nearly knocked the butler over. Alfred chuckled and hugged him back. Clark and Diana had planned to just make it a group hug but when the boys entered a moment later they each beamed and grabbed one. The Bat Boys giggled and returned the hugs. When Bruce heard his sons’ muffled laughs he gasped and looked up in delight. He rushed to Dick and wrapped him in a bone-crushing hug, picking him up and spinning him around. The boy laughed as best he could with the wind knocked out of him.

“Hey B,” he choked out. Bruce set him down and kissed the top of his head. He ruffled his hair and smiled. Then he turned to Jason and grabbed him with an equal enthusiasm. Jason did much the same as Dick had and greeted his father with a fond laugh. This time though, Bruce didn’t let go as fast. He kept holding onto his son, and after a few moments when he realized Bruce had no intentions of letting go, Jason hugged back tighter, grasping more of the cape and resting his head on Bruce’s shoulder. Bruce relaxed slightly and leaned back to cup his son’s head in his hand, running his thumb comfortingly over his hair.

“Jay,” he hummed. “I’m so glad to see you. I’m always glad to see you.” Jason looked at him, tough guy image cracking much faster than he would like to admit.

“Yeah?” He tried to sound joking but he couldn’t completely hide the shake in his voice. Bruce, greatest detective in the world, could have heard it a mile away. With no inhibitions, Bruce smiled.

“Yes,” he answered. “I love you so much Jason.” He pulled his son into another hug and Jay was glad he couldn’t see his eyes misting. “I love you so so much.”

Everyone could tell that Alfred and Dick were touched as they watched the two men, and Diana and Clark looked like they were going to melt into tears of joy. The League figured they ought to get this moment in peace, so the team began helping Alfred steer them towards the zeta tubes. Diana and Clark chattered excitedly about the farm and Ma’s cookies and seeing who could hold the tractor over their head longest, and Bruce walked behind them with a son under each arm, occasionally nuzzling Alfred with his head when he got close enough. Once they got to the zeta tubes Alfred turned around and thanked them all.

“Are you sure everything is going to be okay with Bruce while you chopper the others to the farm?” Hal asked. “We can watch him a little longer if you need.”

“I thank you but that will be quite alright,” Alfred smiled, “I have alerted the entire family and they are all waiting at the Manor. They will all be incredibly pleased to see him, and I imagine that he will feel the same.” They watched Batman ruffle both his sons’ hair as they laughed and felt inclined to agree.

Two weeks later Jason found a disc taped to his bedroom window. The toxin had worn off in about two days and things were pretty much back to normal now, though there was a little less tension between himself and Bruce, between all of them really, and he could tell that Bruce was making an effort to be more open. It was a hell of a process and he was still terrible at it, but he was trying. Jason walked to the window and opened it. Looking closer he could see that there was a note attached.

Found this while analyzing security tapes. It’s footage of the photo album incident. Thought you might want to know what he says about you all when you aren’t around. Enjoy
-love Uncle C

Jason smiled. Bruce was definitely an idiot, but he was their idiot, even if it took an evil alien chemist to remind them sometimes.

“Everybody meet me in the theater room in ten minutes!” He shouted, grinning as he slipped the disc in his pocket and dashed into the hall. “We’ve got some prime blackmail material to watch!”

Notes:

Here it is! Part 4! I had a really good time writing this one you guys, I hope you love it. Tried to get nearly every Batfamily member I know anything about into this one. Thanks for reading! I do not own DC comics nor anything associated with it, and let's be real that's probably a good thing. Title taken from the song 'Unwritten' by Natasha Bedingfield. Happy reading!

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 4 of The Justice League and the Batfam