Chapter Text
Eugene was excited for this big change.
So much of his life was no longer the same from even just a year ago. He had teamed with two of the most notorious low-life thugs to steal one of the most priceless items in the world, later betrayed those low-life thugs, hid from a very persistent horse in a tower, been knocked unconscious by a frying pan wielded by the most amazing girl in the world, destroyed a dam, had a romantic evening on a lake, almost got executed, and then got murdered instead.
All that within the span of three days! There was more to it, of course. Long lost princess, magic hair, new life in the castle, yada yada yada. But his life had gone from the exciting, devil-may-care, survive-each-day-by-the-seat-of-his-pants adventures of Flynn Rider to… actually that part was mostly the same except he was now going by Eugene Fitzherbert. And he no longer had to worry about finding food and shelter every other night. And the aforementioned most amazing girl in the world from before was now the love of his life. And she loved him back!
Now life was changing from that once again. Off on another epic adventure, but this time not because he was running from something, or chasing something, or being forced to do something on pain of death. No, this time he was going on an adventure because he wanted to. It was an adventure at the side of the most amazing girl in the world. Also, with a few other people, but the important part was the most amazing girl in the world.
Right now, Eugene’s mind was enraptured by the most amazing girl in the world because he hoped to make the most beautiful girl in the world even happier by proposing.
Eugene was lounging on the roof of a caravan, an interesting combination of two carriages locked together, creating two ‘rooms’ and surprisingly stable mobility. He was holding a tiny box in his hand, opening and closing it idly. Nestled inside was a ring he’d been carrying on him on and off for the past year: an engagement ring.
He’d been holding off on using it, the aforementioned most amazing girl in the world having made him promise to be patient with her. He promised he’d ask her to marry him only when she was ready and because he loved and respected her, he agreed. But he wasn’t someone known for his patience. Or his ability to keep promises for that matter.
It was excruciating waiting like this. Maybe if he set up a plan? Some sort of big event? They were going to Varadero next, the ‘City of Fun and Games’ after all. Maybe if he made the right romantic moment--.
“What’s up partner?” A hatch next to him burst open, startling Eugene and causing him to almost drop the small box. He fumbled a half dozen attempts to catch it before finally snatching it out of the air, leaning over the side of the carriage and almost falling himself. Thankfully, he had been caught by the big, burly hand of his partner in ex-crimes, Lance Strongbow.
“Good googly eyed gophers, did you have to sneak up on me like that?!” Eugene tucked the box into his inner vest pocket and straightened up in his seat.
“I’m pretty sure being sneaky is what we’re known for,” Lance responded, hauling Eugene back up and onto the caravan roof. Lance let the hatch shut behind him and sat on it to laze with Eugene. “So, like I said, what’ya up to out here?”
Eugene shrugged, deciding to fall back onto old habits: lie. “Eh, just gettin’ some fresh air, stretch my legs, you know. Nothing special.”
“Oh? So, you’re telling me that the engagement ring you’re hiding in your pocket there is ‘nothing special’ then?” Lance pointed at Eugene’s vest where the box was neatly tucked away. He had that annoying smirk on his face Eugene hated.
Hated not because of its annoying-smirkness, mind you, but because Lance insisted he had come up with it on his own when Eugene was certain he had come up with it first.
“Shh! Will you keep it down?” Eugene smacked the back of his partner’s oh-so bald head, who only snickered rather than get defensive.
“Oh, relax, buddy! No one can hear us talking up here unless we yell. Here, watch this.” Lance cupped his hands around his mouth to amplify a shout and leaned over the carriage. “Hookfoot Smells!”
From inside the carriage a grating voice shouted out. “Come say that to my face!” Lance just laughed.
“Oh, I’ll come down there and tear that metal safety hazard right off your leg.” This time Lance spoke in his normal tone of voice, the one he had used to discuss the engagement ring.
There was no response for a few seconds. Then there was a shout back. “Got nothing to say to that, huh? Yeah, that’s what I thought!” It seemed you couldn’t be heard having a regular conversation on top of the caravan from inside.
“Fine, fine. But still, ixnay on the eddingway ingway.” Lance just stared at him, his head tilted, and eyes scrunched in confusion. Eugene ran his hand over his face and sighed. “Pig Latin? Don’t talk about the,” Eugene lowered the volume of his voice, “wedding ring?” Lance just stared at him. “I told you that you gotta expand your vocabulary, amico mio,” Eugene said in his regular volume.
“Oh, see, I know that one was Italian,” Lance said proudly.
“Uhuh, anyways. This… thing isn’t ‘nothing’, it’s just not a thing to talk about.” Eugene returned to his lounged position, looking up at the clouds and occasional tree branches as they rode by.
“Uh huh, and that’s why you’re fiddling with it up here? Not gonna talk about it, not gonna use it?” Lance joined his partner in lounging and cloud slash branch gazing.
“I can’t, Lance. I promised I wouldn’t.” Eugene waved his hand in the air dismissively. “I’m just getting impatient, ya’know?”
“Nope, not really,” Lance answered honestly. “The longest relationship I had was that waitress down in Zuhlberg, what was her name, Sadie or something? Tall woman, with great big--”
“Servings of roast beef, I remember.” That was no euphemism. Lance thought primarily with his stomach, a mentality that had earned him a job as a cook back home in Corona. Admittedly, it was as a cook at the Ugly Duckling, so the standards were as high as a doorstep, but he made pretty good food.
“Mhmm… I’ll never forget Sally. Too bad we had to leave town after we botched that diamond heist. Dumb thing was just too big. We shoulda gone with Stalyan’s plan to rob the Sultan of Pencosta’s jewels but noo, you had to say it was one of the worst ideas she’d ever had.” Lance sighed, smacking his lips. “Hey, if we pass through Zuhlberg again, you think Sarah will still remember me?”
“I’m pretty sure the whole town still remembers us, buddy. Besides, Stalyan actually made me pull off the Pencosta job a little later anyways.” Eugene ignored his friend’s claim to remember someone and immediately change their name. It happened often.
“Ooh, you sly dog. See, now she was a wild stallion. See what I did there?” Lance waggled his eyebrows as if he had made the wittiest of puns. “Now you and Stalyan, that was a good couple. Almost as good as me and Sasha.”
Stalyan, right. The daughter of The Baron, one of the most powerful crime lords in the land. When the two rogues had been working for The Baron, Eugene had gotten acquainted with The Baron’s daughter. Then he had gotten acquainted with her. She was… quite the vivacious woman. Also, vicious, voracious, and plenty of other sinister words that start with a V. Venomous, that’s a good one.
Lance elbowed Eugene in the ribs playfully. “Oh, yeah, hey! You two were supposed to tie the knot. How’d you ask her to get hitched then?”
“I didn’t.” Eugene brushed his friend’s elbow away. “She did. Well, she didn’t really propose per se. She just kinda said ‘Rider, I like you. I think I’ll keep you,’ and that was that. It all happened pretty fast.” Eugene imitated the viperous woman’s voice as he said that, an imitation he had perfected while mocking Cassandra over the past year.
Cassandra, the Lady-in-Waiting, bodyguard, and best friend of that most amazing girl in the world. Now that was a V-worded woman if Eugene had ever known one. And he had known many; case in point: Stalyan.
Eugene shivered as he compared his ex-fiancé and the Lady-in-Waiting to his hopefully-future-fiancé. Both were headstrong, confident women. Both could command the attention of any room they were in if they wanted to or blend into the furniture if they didn’t. Both knew how to kill you a dozen different ways and look absolutely gorgeous doing it, and both were brunettes, his preferred hair color on a woman. Although Stalyan’s hair was more of a reddish brunette while Cassandra’s leaned more towards the blacker.
Were they so similar? The more Eugene thought of Stalyan the more his image of her seemed to warp into Cassandra. Even his attempts to come up with differences between the two only highlighted their similarities. Height, makeup, jewelry, posture, none of it changed the fact that if he described a sexy, clever, sharp-tongued, violently attractive and just plain violent woman with alluring hair, he could have meant either of the two.
It gave Eugene a lot to think about.
“Yell-ohh…? You still with me, buddy?” Lance was waving his hand in front of Eugene’s face and Eugene realized his partner had been talking on and on about their old thieving days, his opinions on marriage, and Samantha’s roast beef. That time he wasn’t sure if it was a euphemism.
“Hmm? Wha? My bad, Lance. I’m just… a bit confused right now.” Eugene sat up, the caravan rocking as the road got bumpier. “Huh, we’re slowing down. What’s that about?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Probably something to do with that.” Lance lazily pointed behind Eugene at an open field leading to a waterfall. Specifically, he pointed at the long, golden streak slowly running through said field towards the waterfall.
“Ah.” Eugene ran his hand over his face again. “Right. I should look into that.”
“Yep, that’s all you. I’m gonna go back down and grab something to eat. Have you noticed we keep running low on food? Hookfoot says it isn’t him, but I’m not leaving him alone with the food stores for too long anymore.” Eugene watched his friend pop open the hatch and hop inside. Eugene held the hatch for a moment to hear their bickering.
“Oho, finally come to face me, huh?” That was Hookfoot’s voice. “You wanna say I’m smelly again, hmm?”
“Yuhuh, it’s probably ‘cause you keep eating all our cheeses! I know it’s been you sneaking off to the food trunk!” That was Lance.
“I told’ya it ain’t me who’s--” Eugene closed the hatch. That was enough of that.
The rogue stood up on top of the caravan and walked to its front. With the practiced grace of a thief who routinely climbed large buildings, he leapt off, grabbed the lip of the ceiling with one hand, and swung his body onto the driver’s bench of the Caravan in one fluid motion. There, back straight, legs spread, hands on the reigns, sat Cassandra.
“Whoa, Cass. Hi. Uh, how long have you been there?” Eugene asked dumbly. Cassandra rewarded his dumb question with an appropriate look.
“The whole time? Who do you think was driving this caravan?” Eugene opened his mouth and held a finger up as though he had a witty retort to that question but closed his mouth and put his finger back down when he realized he did not.
“Could you hear me and Lance from up here?” Eugene asked hesitantly.
Cassandra shrugged. “Eh, fifty percent. Do men ever talk about things other than women with ‘big beef’ and hitching ‘wild stallions’? Don’t tell me what either of those disgusting things really mean.” Her voice was dismissive and her eyes rolling, a regular condition for her. At least she wasn’t trying to sound insulting as much anymore.
In the two weeks since they had left Corona the relationship between the boyfriend and the lady's waiting lady had cooled somewhat. They still regularly argued, but Eugene rarely felt genuinely threatened by her anymore. Rarely didn’t mean ‘not ever’, of course. Her moods still sometimes did complete one-eighties on him: one moment she’d be smiling at him and laughing all friendly-like and then suddenly she’d be defensive and hostile like she just remembered she couldn’t stand being so close to him.
But she didn’t threaten his life as often anymore.
Which was nice.
“Actually, we were--” Eugene cut himself off. It sounded like Cassandra had only heard the innocuous parts of their conversation, and there was no reason for him to elaborate on the engagement ring stuff. “We were just talking about the good ol days. Boys’ll be boys, amirite?” He held his hands palm upwards by his face in an overdramatic shrug and made a goofy smile on his face to really sell it.
“Oh, yeah, the ‘good ol days’, huh? I’ll be sure to tell Rapunzel when she comes back that you were missing ‘big servings of roast beef’ and ‘hitching wild stallions’. I’m sure she’ll just love to hear that!” Cassandra’s smile was less goofy and more mischievous. Eugene immediately saw Stalyan’s face giving him that exact, mischievous smile like a ghostly shadow next to Cassandra’s head.
“I, uh, no, no! That’s not what I meant. I mean good ol days for Lance, right? He’s the one who’s missing the rough and tumble brigand life, not me. I’m totally happy with my life now, no more Flynn Rider-ing around anymore. It’s only the good new days with Rapunzel for good ol Eugene Fitzherbert!” OK, how did this conversation turn on him so badly? He was better than this! Now he was babbling like a boyfriend who had no excuse, and Flynn Rider always had an excuse.
Well, for starters, he wasn’t Flynn Rider anymore.
Thankfully, rather than push his moment of weakness, Cassandra laughed out loud instead. “Man, you’re being way too easy to mess with. It’s not even any fun if you’re just gonna roll over like that.” For someone who did not find it any fun, Eugene couldn’t help but notice she was still laughing an awful lot. She finally stopped laughing at him and gave him that mischievous smile again.
“Don’t worry, I know in my heart that this is where you belong, Flynn.” Cassandra may have meant for that to be condescending, what with the whole ‘in my heart’ being so sarcastic and the emphasis on calling him ‘Flynn’, but the smile, the sarcasm, the emphasis, it brought back a flood of emotions for Eugene.
For a brief moment he wasn’t sitting next to Cassandra on a fancy caravan leisurely riding down a path. He was sitting next to Stalyan on a stolen carriage rushing desperately down a canyon.
Old romantic feelings die hard, it seems. What’s worse, those romantic feelings only got deeper when his vision cleared, and he registered that it was Cassandra next to him giving him the smile, the sarcasm, and the emphasis that he loved in a woman.
Yeesh, what was that about?
The shock was enough to reboot his brain. “Really, Cassandra?” He put the emphasis on the ‘and’ in her name like she hated. “And how often when you're thinking about me am I in your heart, hmm? Maybe I ought to tell Rapunzel about where exactly you feel I belong?” If you don’t have a defense, go on the offense. It was one of the basics of annoying rhetoric, and Eugene was a master of rhetoric. And of annoying!
It looked like it worked, too. Cassandra’s eyes widened and her mouth hung agape for a moment. She snapped her attention back to the road. “Bozo,” she mumbled under her breath. “Go ahead and tell her that, then. But I don’t think you’ll be able to tell Raps anything if she jumps off a waterfall and we never see her again.” She gestured with her chin towards where Rapunzel had run off and Eugene suddenly remembered what he had been planning on doing.
“Ah, shoot, right. I’mma go after Blondie so she doesn’t get herself lost.” The caravan was moving slow enough that it wasn’t difficult for the rogue to hop off and hit the ground running. He’d have to rile Cassandra up another time.
He only made it maybe a half dozen steps before he turned around back towards the caravan. He reached up and grabbed one of their maps from the little slots on the side of the driver’s bench. “Probably gonna need one of these,” he explained and used it to salute Cassandra before returning to chasing after Rapunzel’s trail of golden hair.
Rapunzel, long lost Princess to the Kingdom of Corona, bearer of golden magic hair, the reason he had experienced a new life living in a castle, yada yada yada. She was the most amazing girl in the world, and he was devoted to her heart and soul.
Eugene could have fond feelings for Stalyan, even if those fond feelings were sometimes not-so-fond and accompanied by decisions that, in hindsight, were pretty terrible.
He could have those same fond feelings stirred up by Cassandra, even if those fond feelings were kinda troubling and more than a little confusing and probably just connected to reminders of Stalyan so there was no reason to keep thinking about it because they couldn’t be about Cassandra herself, no siree.
He could even have fond feelings for Sandra and her large servings of roast beef, even if those fond feelings were localized in his stomach and taste buds rather than his heart and soul.
But nothing could compare to the dream of the future that he wanted to share with Rapunzel. She was his whole world, his guiding light, his literal sunshine.
Whatever was coming, wherever they would end up, the big changes ahead, he was going to be by her side.