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1
three weeks in
Dex tries to sneak back into bed, peeling the covers back and quietly slipping between the sheets. The view from the window is mostly obscured by the next building. But from the small sliver of sky he can see — purples bleeding into pinks bleeding into oranges — and the soft light pouring into the room, Dex knows he stayed up way too late.
The bed creaks as he settles back in, and Dex winces. He turns to Nursey and eases when he sees that he’s still asleep. Dex watches for a moment, in awe of the shadows his long lashes cast on his cheek.
He wants to move closer and wrap himself around Nursey. Maybe even press kisses along Nursey’s jaw before dozing off on his chest. But Dex stays on his side of the bed. After last night, Nursey must be exhausted and Dex doesn't want to risk waking him.
Almost as if Dex's thoughts somehow weaseled their way into his boyfriend's dreams, Nursey stretches out an arm toward him. “Hmmmf. Dex?”
“Oh. Hey,” Dex says as softly as he can. “You awake?"
“Hhhhhhhmmfff.”
Dex doesn't know if that's a yes because Nursey’s breathing is still slow and steady, eyes shut. But he takes the invitation anyway. He shifts toward him, carefully gathering Nursey in his arms until they're lying on their side, faces inches away from each other. Dex starts to trace languid lines across Nursey’s back.
Nursey hums contently, the furrow of his brow disappearing. “You're still here…” he mumbles in a sleep-rough voice. “Thought you left last night.”
“F’course I’m still here,” Dex says. “Sorry for waking you.”
Nursey shakes his head, murmuring a timid “It’s okay, just stay.”
“You feeling better?”
Nursey nods, his cheek rubbing against the pillowcase as he does. “Yeah, yeah, I am…Sorry for last night.”
“Nothing to be sorry about,” Dex assures, pressing his lips to Nursey’s jaw like he was tempted to do just minutes ago.
After a whole week of Nursey canceling dates and barely replying to texts and returning calls, Dex showed up at Nursey’s place. When he opened the unlocked door to reveal a mess of an apartment and Nursey — who looked like he just woke up despite it being five in the afternoon — scrolling on his phone on the couch in the same clothes Dex is sure he was wearing when they FaceTimed for a couple minutes a couple of days ago, his heart sank.
(“Jesus! Really? You couldn't have knocked?”
“I haven't seen you all week, and you're barely talking to me! What was I supposed to—! ...Okay. Look. I'm sorry for barging in. I was worried.”
“Okay then.”
“What do you need?”
“What do you mean?”
“Like...how can I help?”
“Chill. I don't need you to fix anything, Dex. You can't always just fix— ...Just. I'll be okay. I can handle it. I always handle it. And I—”
“Hey, hey, slow down... C’mere. I got you.”
“...”
“I got you.”
“...I'm not doing so well.”
“I know. It's okay.” )
After Dex gently coaxed him into the shower with him and convinced him to eat a couple of arepas he got on the way from Nursey’s favorite food cart, he led him to the bedroom. Dex didn't know how long they spent in bed just watching Masterchef on his laptop in silence, but before he knew it, it was one in the morning and Nursey was knocked out.
“Just didn't like you seeing me like that,” Nursey murmurs, slowly blinking his eyes open.
“But I've already seen you like that before,” Dex points out.
And it's true. Bad days like the ones Nursey's been having this week didn't happen as often anymore, he once told Dex. But they still happened. Few and far between, sure, but they happened.
“Yeah, but not since we…” Nursey trails off into a sigh. “Just wanted the honeymoon period to last longer.”
Dex raises his eyebrows, bringing his hand around to cradle Nursey’s cheek with it. “It doesn't have to be over.”
Something close to a smile appears on Nursey’s face. “Even if you had to force me to shower and I didn't talk to you all night?”
“Definitely.” Dex traces the jut of Nursey’s cheekbone with his thumb before asking, “You wanna talk about it now, though?”
“Is it okay if I don't yet?” Nursey asks.
Dex leans up to kiss his forehead. “Of course. But…”
“I will. But later.”
Dex nods, letting it go easily mostly because he has a good idea of what it might be.
Nursey just finished grad school, and his graduation is next week. Dex noticed that Nursey’s been tensing up every time someone asked him what he wanted to do afterward. Noticed that his mood started slipping when his cap and gown arrived last week. Noticed that he'd been evading Dex’s questions about where he'd been sending his manuscript or how long he was going to stay in his part-time job.
Dex is familiar with the feeling. The summer-long limbo he spent in Maine between graduating from Samwell and getting a job offer in New York was suffocating.
“Wanna get out of the apartment today, though?”
Nursey wrinkles his nose at that.
“Nothing too much,” Dex promises. “Just come with me buy shit for dinner or something, and we'll head back. I’ll cook.”
Nursey huffs, burying his face into the crook of Dex’s neck. “Need to save my energy for all the shit I've been putting off. The apartment’s a fucking mess, need to do the laundry, couldn’t even get up long enough to drop my rent check all week so my asshole of a landlord’s gonna be—”
“Done, done, and done.”
Nursey stills. “What?”
“I did all that while you were sleeping,” Dex said. “Apartment’s clean. Laundry’s done. Rent check’s dropped.”
Lifting his head away to look at Dex, Nursey stared at him a bit before getting out a “You did?”
Dex ran his hand through his hair, studying Nursey’s face to gauge if he's mad or not. “Look, I know you can spring back on your own. But...you don't have to do it alone all the time. I can help. I want to help. Especially if getting this shit out of the way makes it easier for you to find the energy to do stuff you want to do and—”
He stops himself from rambling at the sight of Nursey’s expression. Nursey’s mouth is slowly stretching into a smile, and he's looking at him with an unmistakable fondness that makes Dex’s cheeks burn.
And he thinks Nursey might kiss him. Or pull him closer. Or, really, anything other than say what slips out of Nursey’s mouth.
“Marry me already.”
Dex freezes. “Um. What.”
The dazed look stays on Nursey’s face for a couple seconds before his eyes widen and his face drops like he doesn't know where that came from.
“Wait, no, I don't mean like—! I didn't mean to say that out loud. Not that I was thinking it, obvs. It just—” he cuts himself off as he sees the look on Dex's face and groans. “Don’t.”
Dex slaps a hand to his own mouth but it isn't enough to stop the laugh that escapes him.
Nursey whines, covering his face. “Oh my god.”
Still laughing, Dex moves Nursey’s hands away from his face. “Oh, you are so into me, Nurse.”
Nursey rolls his eyes, but he's laughing too. “You're alright, I guess.”
“You just proposed,” Dex pointed out, grinning as he pokes Nursey’s side.
“I did not,” Nursey insists through a smile he's obviously trying to hold back now as he knocked his knees against Dex’s in retaliation. “But, hey, really...Uh, thank you. For being here.”
“Of course,” Dex says, pulling Nursey into his arms again. Nursey settles on his chest, throwing a leg over Dex’s hips. “I got you.”
They're quiet for a bit. Dex listens to the sound of cars outside and relishes the way Nursey was tucking his arm underneath Dex’s shirt for warmth. He thinks he's about to doze off before Nursey pipes up again.
“Yo, wait, did you say you gave Mr. Davison my rent check?” Nursey asks. “The sun’s barely up.”
Dex yawned. “Knocked until he woke up to piss him off ‘cause he's an ass.”
Nursey laughs. “Forreal?”
“Mhmm.” Dex closes his eyes.
“My hero,” Nursey mumbles as he starts to plant kisses along Dex's neck.
There's a low swoop in Dex’s stomach and his heart starts to thud faster. “Stop that. Need sleep.”
“Oh shit, you haven't slept. I forgot,” Nursey says before kissing him one last time on the cheek. Dex smiles.
“Also I've been sleeping like shit all week.”
“It's because you miss me,” Nursey says teasingly, before settling back down on Dex's chest.
Dex doesn't even have it in him to chirp back. He has missed Nursey a lot. They almost never went more than a couple days without seeing each other since Dex moved to New York two years ago. And them finally getting together earlier this month made it even harder for Dex to go a week of barely hearing from Nursey.
He's been getting used to Nursey sleeping over and being in his arms in the early morning. Getting used to the dumb faces Nursey makes out of breakfast food when it's his turn to cook. Getting used to their clothes getting mixed up and Nursey showing up to dates in Dex’s flannels and jackets.
So maybe it's only been three weeks. But Dex needed a new roommate. And Nursey didn't need to be near campus anymore.
And, well, Dex hasn't been able to get enough of Nursey since he fell in love with him in their senior year.
If Dex is being honest, that really is the main reason for what he's about to ask.
“Hey. Nursey.”
“Hmm?”
“Move in with me.”
He feels Nursey sit up. When he opens his eyes, Nursey is looking down at him with raised eyebrows. “If this is because you think you have to look after me just because I—”
“What? No, it's not.” Dex pushes himself up, leaning back on his elbows. “I just like being around you.”
Nursey’s shoulders relax. “Oh.”
Dex rubs the back of his neck, dropping his gaze. “I mean, obviously, you can think about it. I know it's really soon. But we were already almost always at each other's places even before we got together anyway, and I still haven't found a new roommate, and your lease is up soon, and your landlord is a piece of shit, and...Please say something.”
“Can I kiss you?”
It catches Dex off guard. He adores how Nursey still asks every time. Smiling, he nods. “Yeah.”
Nursey grabs his face gently with two hands and bends down to kiss him. It’s Nursey’s trademark morning breath is gross but I still wanna kiss you kiss: a soft peck, just enough to feel the softness of his lips. Just enough to get Dex chasing a little when Nursey pulls away.
“That a yes?”
Nursey snorts. “No shit.”
Dex grins. “Just checking. Although maybe I shouldn't have to...I mean you did just try to propose to—”
“Oh, fuck off,” Nursey laughs before pushing him off the bed.
2
four months in
Dex once thought that after two years of working with a bunch of tech douches, he'd be used to dealing with them. It's nights like these that he's reminded of how wrong he was.
Glancing at the clock on his phone screen, he sees that this dude has been rambling on about his startup — something he keeps referring to as a risky business move even though his dad gave him his startup capital — for twenty minutes now.
He looks at Nursey, who's been nodding along and smiling politely the whole time while sipping his drink. Dex figures he's had more practice dealing with guys like this. He did go to high school with this dude.
Dex, on the other hand, lost the will to even pretend to be interested either five minutes into the conversation or the third time Tech Douche — Carter? Charles? Chase? — said the sentence “It’s all about innovation, you know?” Whichever came first.
Taking a sip from his beer, he wishes he was drunker for this. But the drinks here were expensive and he and Nursey were planning to leave and find a cheaper bar after they finished their first bottle. Of course, that was before getting ambushed by the human form of a headache.
“Well, it was nice catching up with you, Nurse!” Chase — he looks like a Chase — says, clapping a hand to Nursey’s shoulder. “Keep in touch, yeah?”
Nursey nods, the smile on his face looking strained now. “Oh, for sure, man!”
When Chase finally leaves, Dex turns to Nursey, eyes raised. “Jesus.”
Nursey’s plastic smile finally falls, looking miserable as he chugs the rest of his beer. When he sets it back down on the bar, he looks at Dex apologetically. “Yo, please tell me I never sounded like that.”
“Never.”
He pouts. “I'm sorry. I kinda blacked out towards the end and didn't realize how much he was going on. Practice.”
Dex shakes his head before putting his hands on Nursey’s waist. “It's okay, babe,” he murmurs before giving him a peck on the cheek.
When he pulls away, there's a hint of shock in Nursey’s smile, and it makes Dex lean in again and kiss him on the mouth. Nursey freezes for a couple seconds before he melts into it, bringing his hand up to cup Dex’s cheek.
It's only been a few months of dating, and Nursey has mentioned before that Dex turning out to be the physically affectionate boyfriend type was a surprise. A very pleasant one, he clarified. But definitely a surprise. Especially when they were in public.
Which makes it a little bit more fun for Dex.
Because, sure, he's always known Nursey’s chill was fake. But seeing a whole new part of his not-chill — the part that includes the little giggle Nursey tries to hold back at the end of the kiss — is something Dex has gotten a bit addicted to.
When Dex pulls back, Nursey is looking as flustered as Dex expected him to.
Nursey looks up in disbelief, shaking his head. “How broke would we be from the fuckin’ fines if we got together at Samwell?”
Dex shrugs. “Not at all. I would have abused my captain powers.”
“Or made me pay for them then use all of it for a new dryer.”
“True,” Dex says, reaching past Nursey to grab the menu from the bar. He scans it again before groaning. “But neither of us are paying for another overpriced drink. Come on, let's go.”
Technically, he can afford it now. He just got promoted at work and was saving so much more now that Nursey was living with him. But he still can’t let overpriced drinks at pretentious hipster bars win. Even if the boy he's in love with thinks the vibes are chill.
Nursey makes a face of disgust. “Baby, I love you, but I have zero energy to look for or walk to another bar right now.”
Dex frowns. “I thought we said one drink and then we find a different place?” he reminds him. But as he does, Nursey’s shoulders sag and Dex remembers that he's probably exhausted from all the deadlines he's been trying to make ever since he got his book deal a few weeks ago.
Dex is about to say that okay, fine, they can stay, and even offer to pay tonight, when Nursey’s eyes light up the way they do when he comes up with an idea.
“Oh god, what now?”
“What if I told you I could get Chad over there—”
“Chad? Of course.”
“—to either buy us a bottle of champagne or pay for our drinks for the rest of the night?”
“What are you talking about?”
“I know the dude, okay? Classic straight bro guilt. He loves using his money to prove that he's a hashtag ally,” he says with a smirk as he slowly slips off one of the rings he bought the other week from his finger. “Especially when there's something to celebrate.”
“What do you... Oh. Oh.”
“Ya game?”
“You're ridiculous.”
“But…?” Nursey asks with a glint in his eye that he gets when he knows he's already successfully convinced Dex.
Dex grins. “But yes.”
Dex doesn't anticipate how wasted they get that night. The next morning, he can't remember much other than Nursey getting down on one knee, an entire room of tipsy strangers screaming in congratulations, and the first few glasses he drank from the free champagne bottle that got sent their way five minutes after.
That is, of course, until he opens his phone to see 86 new messages, 15 missed calls, and Nursey’s drunken Instagram stories. The first one is a picture of Nursey holding up a half-empty champagne bottle and smiling, the second is a short video of him giving Dex a peck on the cheek, and the last one is a photo of Dex — eyes closed, red in the face, and laughing — showing off his ring finger captioned yo guess what? #enGAYYYged.
“...Oh my god.” He turns to Nursey, who's slowly stirring awake. “Nurse.”
Nursey blinks a few times before a grin grows on his face. “Nurse? Oh, are you taking my name then?”
Dex snorts, holding up the phone to Nursey’s face. “As long as you do the damage control.”
Nursey squints at the screen for a bit before his eyes widen. “Fuck.”
3
two years and six months in
The bachelor-slash-bachelorette party has long died down, but none of their friends have left the house because Chowder and Farmer had demanded that they ditch all their hotel rooms and sleep over. Bitty is probably still drunk baking in the kitchen while gossiping with Lardo, but other than them, Dex figures the rest have already passed out in the living room or retreated to the guest rooms.
Dex, on the other hand, has spent the past hour in the bathroom with his co-Best-Man and the groom-to-be. He glances at Nursey’s phone on the counter. It says it's almost five in the morning.
“I'm gonna get married in two days…” Chowder says in amazement. He's lying in the bathtub — Dex's jacket balled up under his head as a pillow — and staring at the ceiling. His eyes are only half-open, and there's a dopey smile on his face. “That's like…” he pauses, looking at his fingers and mumbling numbers under his breath. “That's like 48 hours from now.”
Nursey, cross-legged on the floor with his chin resting on the edge of the bathtub, snorts. “C. You're like. Mad wasted,” he says like he isn't next to the toilet he just threw up in.
Chowder swats at Nursey’s face half-heartedly and dissolves into a fit of giggles when he misses. Nursey bursts out laughing too.
Dex is leaning against the tiled wall, sighing as he watches them. “You're both idiots.”
“You love us,” Chowder says, grinning.
Smiling, Dex shrugs. “Maybe a little.”
Nursey cups his hands around his mouth mock-whispers to Chowder, “Don't tell him I told you, but he cried on the flight here because he missed you so much and was so excited to see you.”
Dex scoffs, taking a hand towel off the counter and throwing it at Nursey. “Traitor.”
Chowder’s lips are trembling now, eyes getting watery. “Awww, Dex!!!”
Before Dex knows it, Chowder is scrambling out of the tub — almost falling twice — and charging at him with a hug.
Dex laughs, hugging back tighter. “Love ya, C,” he says. “Farmer is the luckiest girl in the world.”
“Stop it! I'm very drunk! And emotional!”
“Hey, I want in!” Nursey yells as he pushes himself up.
Chowder and Dex let go of each other a little and open up their arms to bring in Nursey, who wraps his arms around them.
“We're so happy for you, C,” Nursey says.
Chowder sniffs. “Guys.”
Dex is nowhere near as drunk as them, but even he's getting choked up.
He was so bad at letting people in, and then Samwell happened. For a bit there, towards the end of senior year, he was terrified of reverting back to who he was before all of it. What if, after the obligation of seeing each other every day was forever gone, he goes back to shutting everyone out?
It was a ridiculous thought now, four years after graduation, as he holds them — his best friends, his favorite people, the boyfriend he's so in love with and the groom he's going to be the Best Man for — close to him.
Chowder is the first to pull away. “Okay. I should turn in.”
“Mostly to make sure your beautiful fiancée hasn't thrown up all over your bed?” Dex asks.
“I totally saw March grab another bottle of vodka on the way to putting Farms to bed,” Nursey says. “I bet they're both passed out on your bed.”
“The amount of white girl wasted she gets makes me love her more,” Chowder says dramatically, a hand on his heart as he starts to back away from them and toward the door.
Nursey laughs. He starts to sway as he does, but Dex grabs him by the waist before he falls. “Fair. Goodnight, C.”
Chowder beams at them, hand on the doorknob. “I really love you guys,” he says as he opens the door behind him.
Dex smiles. “We love you too, C.”
After a few more goodbyes and I love yous — as if they all weren't gonna see each other when they wake up past noon with a hangover and spend the rest of the weekend together — Chowder finally heads to bed, leaving the door open behind him.
Nursey turns to Dex, who was still holding him up. He throws his arms around Dex’s neck. “Babe. Dexy. Baby.”
“Yes?” Dex asks, feigning exasperation for show.
“Wanna go on a walk?”
And Dex should say no. He's exhausted and Nursey is the most drunk Dex has seen him in a while. But Nursey is looking at him with a goofy smile and his hands are making their way to Dex’s hair. There's no saying no to him.
Dex’s hand grasps the back of Nursey’s neck, coaxing him closer to kiss him on the forehead. “Sure, babe.”
When they pass the kitchen, Bitty and Lardo — both cross-legged on the counter and mouths covered in crumbs — stop whispering and perk up.
“You're awake!” Bitty exclaims. He holds up a cookie. “You boys want some?”
“The only thing better than Bitty’s baking is Bitty’s baking when you're wasted,” Lardo says with a blissful look on her face
“True,” Bitty says, nodding.
“And your boyfriend is definitely fucking wasted,” she adds, gesturing at Nursey who is hugging Dex from behind and resting his head by burying his face into the crook of Dex's neck.
“Shuttup, Larissa,” Nursey says, voice muffled. He lifts his head, perching his chin on Dex's shoulder. “I'm fine.”
“Sure you are.”
“We're just going for a quick walk,” Dex says.
Bitty frowns, looking Nursey up and down. “You sure about that?”
“He's good,” Dex assures before peeling himself away from Nursey, just enough to look at him. “Right, babe?”
Nursey nods. “Yeah, guys, chill.”
Bitty shakes his head. “Well, if you say so.”
“And don't step on anyone on the way out,” Lardo warns.
They manage not to wake any of the several people passed out in the living room as they make their way out. Nursey trips a couple times, but April only shifts a little on the couch, and Ransom and Holster — huddled together on the giant inflatable pool bed Dex doesn't recall being there an hour ago — just frown in their sleep at the sound before snoring again.
After a lot of tiptoeing around their friends and maneuvering around beer bottles, Dex closes the front door behind them, grabs Nursey’s hand, and walks.
He expects Nursey to ramble on the way he usually does when he's drunk. But, right now, he's quiet.
Nursey watches the neighborhood slowly come alive — eyes lighting up when he sees a dog peeking out from a window and smiling politely at a few early joggers who pass them — as the inky black of sky starts to fade into a dark blue. But Dex is watching Nursey, surveying the way he swings his arms and stops from time to time just to look up and close his eyes as if he was just savoring the breeze on his face.
It's mostly still dark, but the coming sunrise and the streetlamps are enough light to carve out Nursey’s features, from the softness of his smile to the sharpness of his jaw. His eyes are alight with wonder when he opens them again, and Dex just thinks beautiful before following Nursey’s gaze.
He isn't sure how far they've walked, but they've arrived at a small park. It was mostly just a tiny playground with more stretch of grass extending beyond it lined with benches and picnic tables. Nursey still beams and pulls Dex toward the swings.
They sit next to each other in their respective swing seats. Nursey tries to do a few high swings — kicking his legs in the air for momentum — before stopping when he starts to feel sick.
Dex laughs and reminds him how much he's drunk tonight. Nursey groans but easily concedes as he reaches for Dex’s hand again, content with just shifting his weight back and forth from toe to heel now to keep it swinging the tiniest bit.
“C’s getting married. Wow.”
Dex nods. “Right?”
“Shit’s crazy,” Nursey mumbles. “But also…”
“It’s crazier that they haven't been married this whole time?” Dex finishes.
“Yeppp.” He stops swinging, looking down at the wet grass. “Hey, baby?”
The endearment still has Dex feeling a low rush in his chest. “Yeah?”
He turns to Nursey to find he's already looking at Dex. Eyes dazed but gleaming, smile crooked and tired but sure.
Dex thinks back to all the times in his life he woke up knowing it was going to be a good day. He was so sure then that those mornings were the residue of dreams he just couldn't remember. He's still not sure if he was right, but if he was, then those dreams must be made of the same stuff he feels when Nursey looks at him like that.
Nursey shifts his palm a little. It makes the way their hands fit feel weird until he notices the way Nursey's thumb is now brushing the knuckle of Dex's ring finger back and forth.
Dex feels the question in the air before he hears it.
“Marry me someday?”
He knows it doesn't count as a real proposal when Nursey is bound not to remember it and they've never talked about it before. Not beyond hypotheticals and ifs and maybes and I'm not ready, but if I ever will be, I can't imagine it being anyone but you.
But he still grins, unapologetic of the way his heart thuds harder in his chest as he brings Nursey's hand to his mouth and kisses the back of it. “I promise.”
Nursey beams, the rising sun bathing him in light.
4
four years and one month in
“Thank you again for watching her, Dex,” Bitty says on the other end of the line when he's done speaking with Ava. Dex can tell Bitty’s still at the studio from the hectic flurry of noise that almost drowns his voice out. “I owe y'all big time.”
“We told you it's not a big deal, Bits,” Dex says as he watches Ava supervising — tiny balled-up hands on her hips and a stern look on her face — as Nursey stands on a chair, repositioning the ribbon streamers hanging from the ceiling. Dex smiles. “We've missed her, and we got nothing going on this weekend anyway.”
Which wasn't totally true.
They were both planning on taking it easy this weekend. Nursey just got back from a book tour and still had more promo events to attend in the city, so he hasn't gotten some time off in a while. And Dex loves his new game development job, but it's also a higher position than he's been used to, and adjusting to it has been exhausting.
But they did miss Ava. A lot.
So, when they woke up earlier at 4 A.M. to a panicked Bitty on the phone (“— and Jack’s on a roadie and everyone else is too busy and you two are in the city and lord knows how busy I’ve been lately I just want to be near her in case I've got some free time and —”) rambling about a bunch of last-minute reshoots this weekend in New York for his show, they didn't hesitate to agree to babysit.
“Still, it was so last minute!” Bitty groaned. “Oh, I miss her already. What are y'all up to right now?”
“Fake wedding for a teddy bear and a purple zebra.”
“...Oh lord, not you too.”
“It's okay, Jack gave us a heads up that she was probably gonna make us do this,” Dex assured, chuckling.
“It's been a whole thing since she watched our wedding video for the first time three weeks ago. She was livid that she wasn't invited.”
Dex snorts. “Did you explain to her that she wasn't born yet?”
“Oh, we tried,” Bitty says with a sigh, but Dex can hear the smile in his voice. “Well, don't let her have you stressin’ over a fake wedding, you hear me? Jack and I have already thrown her five of those.”
Dex looks around, sucking in a breath through his teeth. “Yeah, uh, too late for that, Bits.”
Their new apartment is covered in fairy lights and paper flowers that Nursey and Ava spent the entire afternoon making. A playlist of her favorite Disney songs is playing from the speakers. Every stuffed animal Ava could fit in the backseat of Bitty’s car this morning is now in seats — well, footrests, book stacks, and whatever else could pass as a small chair — lined up in rows facing the mini wedding arch.
And, yeah. Dex may have assembled a makeshift wedding arch from a bunch of detachable closet rods before wrapping it with the prettiest white sheets they had.
(“Wow, babe, and you said I was being too much for the origami roses.”
“She said she wanted an arch! What was I supposed to do? Not give her an arch?!”
“Compelling point.”)
Dex is sure that when Jack texted Oh, by the way, she's going through a whole wedding phase haha just go with it, this isn't what he meant. They probably didn't have to do this much. But, well, he and Nursey adore her and have a lot less practice than Jack and Bitty when it comes to saying no to her.
Bitty laughs. “I figured. I swear, that girl is way too good at—” He cuts himself off as a voice in the background on his end calls out his name. “Shoot, I have to go. I'll call again at bedtime, okay? Jack probably will too.”
“3 AM, right? Yeah, we'll be back from the bar by then.”
“William Jacob Po—"
“I'm joking, I'm joking!” Dex laughs out. “Yes, we'll talk to you later. Bye, Bits.”
It's only when he hangs up that he realizes that Ava is now wearing one of Nursey’s ruffled white blouses as a dress and has little paper flowers in her braided jet-black hair.
Nursey is crouching down to roll up the sleeves until her little hands are freed from getting drowned in them. He whispers something and makes a face, and whatever it is he said makes her throw her head back in laughter. It does all kinds of things to Dex’s heart.
When Nursey looks up and notices Dex watching them, he rolls his eyes exaggeratedly. “You're so in love with me it's ridiculous, Poindexter.”
Dex holds back a smile. Or tries to and fails, at least. “Shut up, Nurse.”
Ava’s head whips to face Dex, her brows drawn together. “Hey! Daddy and Papa said that's a mean thing to say.”
“What? No, I was just—”
“Not fair,” she interrupts. “When I said that to teacher, I had to apologize.”
Dex definitely wants to hear that story next time he talks to Bitty.
Behind her, Nursey is visibly holding back a laugh. “Yeah, William, I expect an apology too.”
Dex, trying his best to remain serious because Ava was watching him, just nods. “You're right. That wasn't nice of me. I'm sorry, Nursey.”
Nursey grins. “Apology accepted.” He then grabs Ava by the shoulders and turns her to face him. “Now, why don't you go get the bride and groom from your bag so we can start?”
“Teddy’s a boy and zebra’s a boy. Boys can get married to boys, Uncle Nursey.”
Dex covers his mouth to muffle a laugh as Nursey stammers out a response that only gets cut short by Ava starting to explain that her dads are married and that's okay and that it's normal and that girls can get married to girls too and didn't anyone tell you, Uncle Nursey?
Nursey just nods as soon as she's done rambling. “You're right! I'm sorry, kid.”
“It's okay!” Ava says brightly before she runs to the guest room where she's kept her stuff for the weekend.
Dex shakes his head as he walks to Nursey. “Keep up with the times, Nurse.”
Nursey laughs as he gets up. “I hate you.”
Dex fumbles with the strings of Nursey’s hoodie, tugging him closer. "That kid forgets we're dating every other time we see her.”
Nursey shrugs. “To be fair, you did just tell me to shut up, so I don't blame her.”
“Hah. Okay,” Dex mumbles before leaning in to kiss him on the cheek.
Nursey beams at him. “Forgiven.”
When Ava returns, her eyes are watery and her lower lip is trembling. In her hand is the purple zebra.
Dex immediately lets go of Nursey to kneel in front of Ava, sweeping away the strands of her hair that have escaped the braid and fallen to her face. “Woah, hey, what's wrong? Where's Teddy?”
Ava opens her mouth then closes it, pressing her lips together like she might cry if she tries to talk. She shakes her head.
“You don't have him?” Nursey asks. Dex can feel him crouch down next to him.
She nods, tears rolling down her cheeks now. “I lost him.”
“Hey, hey, it's okay,” Dex coos, wiping away her tears. “I'm sure you just left him in Daddy's car. How about this,” he starts to offer, taking her hands in his. “When your daddy calls at bedtime, we can ask him if he has him. I'm sure he does.”
Ava scrunches up her nose. "But...but..." she trails off into barely audible murmurs. Some of it even sounds like French.
"Sorry, kid, but can you repeat that for me?" Dex coaxes, trying to keep his tone as soothing as possible.
She sniffs. "I said," she starts, "do you promise that Daddy has Teddy? How do you know? Are you sure?"
"I...Well..." He turns to Nursey. "We can ask now?"
Nursey immediately takes out his phone and starts texting.
They wait for a few minutes for a reply, Ava shushing them and pointing at the phone whenever they tried to break the silence. It doesn't take long, though. Soon, Nursey's phone vibrates with a message from Bitty.
"He just checked the car. He has it," Nursey announces with a grin as he looks up from his phone.
"You hear that? You didn't lose him," Dex says as he looks back at her again. He can't help but be a little amused as he pictures Bitty excusing himself from filming to go check his car for a stuffed bear. "Your daddy's having breakfast with us here tomorrow before his last day of shooting. We'll tell him to bring Teddy with him, okay?"
Ava still doesn't look a hundred percent convinced, but the tears have stopped and her mouth is no longer quivering like she's five seconds away from wailing.
Dex sighs in relief. He's seen her tantrums before, and while they're nothing they can't handle, he hates seeing how exhausted and worn out she gets after them. “Does that sound like a plan?”
She hugs the purple zebra close to her chest and nods. “Okay...But the wedding...”
“You have lots of other animals!” Nursey says as he secures one of the paper flowers in her hair before it falls off. “He can marry someone else!”
Ava looks scandalized at the suggestion. “Zebra is with Teddy,” she says firmly.
“Okay, how about Dog and Cow?” Nursey says, looking over his shoulder to survey the stuffed animals lined up in their living room. “They look very in love.”
“No, they're just friends.”
Nursey and Dex share a look before they sit on the floor next to her, all three of them now facing all the candidates. “Okay, how about…”
And this. This takes a while.
The two sharks — both from Chowder — can’t get married because the orange shark doesn't want to get married and the purple shark is already married to the octopus. The kangaroo and the panda aren’t allowed either because the kangaroo is apparently with the tiger (“Chill, there you go! They can get married!” “Tiger’s not here!”) And it can't be the frog with the “leg cast” that looked like striped washi tape because Papa stepped on him last week so he's still healing.
After 20 minutes of mixing and matching, Dex is stumped. He's just about to break it to Ava that she won't be officiating a wedding today and that maybe they can do it tomorrow when Teddy’s here when Nursey turns to Ava.
“Hey, Ava. Dex and I are boyfriends.”
Dex raises his eyebrows at Nursey, who just shrugs and smiles back.
For a second, it seems like she doesn't hear him because her face remains scrunched up in confusion as she looks at her animals. Then, her eyes light up as she registers what Nursey said.
She turns to Nursey, already pouting. “Please?”
Nursey grins at Dex. “What d’ya say, Poindexter?”
Dex scoffs, but he knows how red his face is getting because can feel his cheeks burning and see Nursey’s amused expression. “That proposal is weak, Nurse.”
Ava nods solemnly in agreement.
“Fine, fine. Come on, get up already then!” Nursey’s fake exasperation does nothing when his eyes are bright with excitement and the smile on his face only grows.
Resisting the temptation to lean in and kiss him right there, Dex grins and stands up as Nursey gets down on one knee.
Ava squeals next to them. “Okay, do it now!”
Nursey ruffles her hair softly, careful enough to not ruin her braid, and chuckles before looking up at Dex.
“Dex. Dexy. William Jacob Poindexter, my one true love.”
Dex laughs. “Yes, Nursey?”
“You're my best friend, and I love you as much as Teddy loves Zebra. So, will you marry me?”
He doesn't know if it's because he spent all day being reminded of how good Nursey is with kids. Or if it's because their entire living room is done up to look like a wedding ceremony. Or maybe it's the fact that just the other day he accidentally said my husband instead of my boyfriend when the nosy florist asked who the bouquet was for and felt something in his chest click into place.
Either way, Dex finds himself choking up at Nursey’s dumb fake proposal.
Frowning, Nursey takes Dex’s hand. “Yo, babe, you alright?”
Snapping out of it, Dex nods. “Yeah, yeah.” At the corner of his eye, he sees Ava looking at him curiously. So, before she asks any questions, Dex adds, “Yes, of course I'll marry you, Nursey.”
Nursey grins and gets up. “Chill!”
Ava squeals and hugs Dex's leg. “WEDDING TIME!”
As they watch her zoom off to pick a seat for Zebra, Nursey slips an arm around Dex’s waist and leans in to whisper, “Hashtag engaged.”
Dex shoves him playfully and makes a joke about calling off the wedding as if he wasn't already thinking of ways to steal one of Nursey’s rings tonight to get his size.
5
four years and three months in
Dex’s head feels about ten times heavier than it usually does, the pressure present everywhere. At the back of his head, behind his eyes, everywhere. So, when he finally gives up on waiting for Nursey and rests his head on the pillow, the relief is overwhelming.
At the back of his mind, a voice is telling him to go hydrate before he sleeps. Or at least get out of his clothes. But his vision is going hazy — or has already gone hazy, now that he thinks about it — and his eyelids feel too heavy to fight. So, he closes his eyes.
He hears the bathroom door he's got his back to open.
“‘Kay, I'm done, bathroom’s all your— Oh.”
Dex can imagine the amused expression on Nursey’s face. He’s always chirping Dex for no longer being able to handle his liquor as well as he used to anymore.
He wants to sit up and defend himself, to tell Nursey that he's very much still conscious and able to get ready for bed properly, but he can't even open his eyes. Doesn't even have the energy to reply.
“You know red wine makes you zombie drunk. I warned you, babe,” Nursey says, chuckling. His voice is coming from the foot of the bed now. Seconds later, Dex can feel Nursey peel off the dress shoes and socks off him before covering Dex with a blanket.
Gratitude fills Dex’s chest, even if he's only half-aware of what's going on.
There's a flick of the light switch and a shift of weight in the mattress. He barely registers that it's Nursey climbing into bed and under the covers with him until there's a nose burrowed into Dex’s shoulder blade and an arm thrown around him and holding him tight.
“This can't be comfy,” Nursey murmurs, his fingers brushing against the buttons of Dex’s shirt. “Shoulda changed.”
Dex wants to respond. A quick it's okay or even just a hum to acknowledge that he's heard him. But his mouth is too dry and his brain feels like it's fried and he's so so so exhausted. Even trying to open his mouth is only pulling him closer to slumber.
There's a huff of amusement behind him. “Damn, you really are knocked out already, huh?”
Dex doesn't even attempt to protest.
Nursey plants a kiss at the nape of Dex’s neck. “M’glad you had fun, babe. Can't blame ya, they definitely had a lot more booze than I expected…Jesus, can you believe my moms have been together for 25 years now?”
Dex can't tell if Nursey actually knows Dex is still conscious — well, barely — and just too exhausted to respond or is just doing the thing where he still keeps talking to a sleeping Dex to unload his thoughts before dozing off himself. He’s woken up a few times to the tail end of Nursey’s rambling.
“You know how there are just those couples you look at and think Yeppp, they're definitely lasting forever. That's them. Kinda like…C and Farms. Jack and Bits. Shitty and Lards. Oh and def Rans and Holtzy too. That's always been a given...Huh, so all our friends. Okay, maybe I'm just biased. But still.”
As the pressure in his head starts to ease with Nursey’s soothing voice in his ear, Dex slowly feels himself lose track of what he's saying.
Nursey yawns. “Hey, do you think that's what people think when they look at us? I hope they do. They'd be right.”
Sleep is seconds away from completely taking Dex, and then:
“Marry me, Will.”
Dex's eyes fly open, suddenly completely awake.
He takes a few moments to decide whether he should answer, because he was so obviously not meant to hear that. But before he can make up his mind, he hears Nursey’s soft snores behind him.
He turns in Nursey’s arms and faces his sleeping boyfriend. Dex kisses him on the forehead, smiling against his skin before pulling him close again.
It takes a while for the adrenaline to give way to his drunken tiredness again, but it happens with content so warm and good felt all over his body. And when it does, his last thought is of the ring hidden away deep into his sock drawer on the other side of the room.
+1
four years and four months in
“DEX THIS IS SO EXCITING!”
Dex tries to force out a laugh, but he can't even choke out a nervous chuckle. He swallows as he sets his phone up against the wine bottle on the counter and lights another candle with a shaky hand. “Yeah.”
“Hey, calm down!” Chowder says as he leans back in his seat, holding the phone closer to his face. He’s on a roadie right now, and he's sitting at the back of the bus where he probably transferred to FaceTime Dex after the string of panicked texts. “What’s the worst that could happen?”
Dex lights another candle. It's one of the homemade scented ones from the little shop that Nursey likes. He forgot what it's called, but it smells like oranges.
“I could knock over one of these and burn the place down and kill him.”
Chowder nods solemnly. “No, yeah, of course, you're right, I'm sorry. I didn't even think of that! How could I have—”
Dex snorts. “Shut up, C. I know how dramatic I'm being.”
Chowder squints at him. “Do you?”
He runs a hand down his face. “Yes. I'm just…”
“Freaking out.”
“Yeah.”
“Dex, you know he's going to say yes, right?” Chowder asks. “Like, this isn't even a pep talk! That's a fact!”
Dex knows Chowder’s right. It's been months since he and Nursey have started feeling more secure in their careers, moved into a new place they could see themselves living in forever, and shifted from nonchalant mentions of marriage to having actual conversations about how they were both ready.
The vagueness of the when of it all had become less about uncertainty and hesitation and more about wanting the proposal to be a surprise even if the yes that follows won't be.
Nursey is going to say yes.
Dex lets that fact sit in his chest for a moment, taking deep breaths as he remembers it's a guarantee. “Yeah. God. You're right…”
Chowder grins. “I know. Is everything ready?”
Dex looks around at the empty studio apartment — Nursey’s first apartment. The same place Dex hung out at all the time during his first two years in the city, falling harder as he watched Nursey cram papers and stayed over on movie nights or after parties Nursey dragged him to. The same place they first kissed, their celebration of Nursey successfully defending his thesis turning into a night of whispered confessions and first moves and Can I? and God, yes.
The same place of Nursey's slip-of-tongue marry me already four years ago.
“Not yet,” Dex says, turning to Chowder again. “I still have to set up the food and everything. But I have…” He checks his watch. “An hour.”
“Nice! That's still tons of time, so—”
“Oh, fuck,” Dex murmurs as Nursey’s contact name pops up on the screen. “Nursey’s calling. I'll call you back in a bit?”
“Sure! Don't freak out, he'll hear it!”
“I won't!” Dex promises with an eye roll. “Bye, C.”
“See ya!”
He ends the call with Chowder and answers Nursey’s, bringing the phone to his ear.
“Hey babe,” Dex greets, all his energy put into sounding normal.
“Do you remember my asshole landlord?” His voice is almost drowned out by the sound of the cars honking and the voices of passing people in the background. “From when I was in grad school?”
“Yeah, why?" Dex doesn't know if his cluelessness is convincing, but he does know Nursey's too annoyed to notice.
“Dude just called me? I don’t even know how he has my number?” Nursey groans. “Apparently I left a bunch of those books I bought for my research and — I don't know, I don't even remember leaving them, but he wants me to pick them up. It's been four years, and he suddenly can't wait for me to get them some other time?”
“Oh, that's weird,” Dex says before clearing his throat. “Maybe you should check it out anyway? I mean, those books were expensive and you could still use them for your—”
“Of course I'm getting my books,” Nursey says. There's a soft thud of a door on the other end of the call, and the noises from the street disappear.
“What time are you picking them up?” Dex asks. “I'm still at work, but I can meet you there to help you.”
“Oh, I'm at my old place already. Just checkin' if you can help me out, but if you're still at the office, it's chill.”
Dex freezes, his heart dropping to his stomach. “What?”
“Yeah, he said to come a bit later, but I was in the neighborhood and I figured—” There's a soft ding of the elevator on his end. “Oh, talk to ya later, babe. Elevator. Love you.”
“...Love you,” Dex manages to reply, throat dry.
Nursey hangs up.
And Dex feels like someone just poured a bucket of ice down the back of his shirt.
Dropping his phone, he grabs the lighter and starts rushing around the room, lighting all the candles he missed and cursing under his breath.
“The one fucking time he’s early,” he mutters as he rearranges some of the candles, for once thankful for the agonizingly slow speed at which this building's elevator operates.
Candles, done. Okay.
He then switches off the unit’s lights before turning on the warm orange fairy lights — strings upon strings of them on the walls and windows — that he had put up when he got there.
Okay. Done.
What else can he do before—
He hears the faint sound of the elevator down the hallway at the same time his eyes land on the picnic basket on the counter and the blanket folded next to it.
“Fuck.” Definitely no time for that.
Dex grabs the bouquet of flowers. Then, feeling how awkward it is to just stand there with it, remembers he was going to put the flowers in the vase and set them up with the picnic. He puts it down again.
Footsteps. Nursey’s footsteps.
“Fuck fuck fuck.” Dex rushes to the spot the path lined with candles leads to — Nursey’s old bedroom. Except now it was just an empty corner.
As Dex stood there, pulse going wild and hand patting at his pocket to make sure the ring was there, he still finds it in himself to laugh at the memory of Nursey’s last day in this place. Dex remembers the chaos of them tearing down the makeshift walls — which Nursey’s landlord definitely did not know about — he built to turn Nursey’s studio apartment into a one-bedroom.
Nursey fell on his face twice, got paint all over himself, and lost his security deposit in the span of an hour.
Dex can't wait to marry him.
There's a knock on the door. Dex straightens, heart feeling too big and restless for his body. His thumb rubs at the corner of the ring box peeking out of his pocket, and he takes another deep breath.
“Mr. Davison? It's Derek. Are you—” Nursey cuts himself off, probably realizing it was unlocked, and turns the doorknob. “Hello?”
He walks in, the quiet gasp visible in the way his chest rises. “Will.”
Suddenly, seeing Nursey’s face slowly break into a smile, Dex’s nerves quiet down into a soft hum of excitement. Nursey is here. Nursey is here and his and happy to be so. After all these years. And nothing makes more sense.
Dex tilts his head to the side, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets. “Hey.”
An incredulous laugh escapes Nursey’s mouth as he looks around the room. “What's...What's going on?”
“Come here and find out,” Dex says, stretching out his hand, but the knowing look on Nursey’s face tells him he’s figured it out.
When Nursey is close enough, he takes Dex’s hand, grin so huge that his eyes are crinkling at the corners.
Dex is so in love with him.
He pulls Nursey closer. “Hi baby,” Dex says again, hands moving to Nursey’s waist.
“Hi,” Nursey practically all but giggles out. Dex can feel how restless he's getting in the anticipation.
Laughing, Dex shakes his head. “I know you know where this is going, but I just wanted to say a few things first. That okay?”
“Chill,” Nursey says without missing a heartbeat, a twinkle in his eye.
Dex snorts, but nods. “Chill.” He lets go of Nursey, only to grab both of his hands in his. Dex looks down at them as his thumbs swipe across Nursey’s knuckles. He could hold these hands forever. And he plans to.
He takes a breath and looks at Nursey, who is still smiling so hard it's taking everything in Dex to not get down on one knee right at this second.
“These past four years with you have been the best of my life,” he starts, stepping in closer. “Which, y’know, isn’t that much of a surprise. Because you're my best friend. And I'm so in love with you it's ridiculous.”
Dex swallows. And he continues.
“I love you because it feels like you make it a mission to not let a day go by without making me laugh. I love you because you always know the right thing to say when I need to hear it the most. I love you because…Because...” he closes his mouth and drops his gaze. Tries to take a breath and remember the rest of what he’s been rehearsing.
The panic is starting to creep in, but then he looks back up and sees Nursey looking eagerly at him, the huge grin on his face easing into a soft and eager smile. It feels like something settles in Dex’s chest, and when he opens his mouth, it's second nature. “I just feel so much braver and lighter and happier with you in my life.”
“Baby…” Nursey says it like a disbelieving whisper as his eyes start to water.
When Dex chuckles, it catches in his throat. It's only then that he realizes he’s crying too. He brings one of his hands to Nursey’s face, wiping away a tear with his thumb.
“I can list more reasons why I love you. But I guess it all just boils down to the fact that I wake up every day and can't believe you're not a dream. It makes sense that you aren't, though, because even if I were half as good a writer as you are, my brain still wouldn't be able to come up with something better than this perfect life that’s crept up on me. This life with you.” Dex only barely manages to get the last few words out as his voice cracks.
He clears his throat as Nursey nods at him encouragingly with a teary smile.
“And I think I've known for quite some time now that I’d like to keep having this life with you for as long as you'll have me. Which is hopefully forever,” Dex says as he pulls his hands back and steps away from Nursey, just enough to get down on one knee.
From the floor, he looks up at Nursey.
He's smiling, dimples deep and emerald eyes glistening. Backlit by the warm luminescence of the candles and fairy lights, he looks divine.
As Dex pulls out the box from his pocket and opens it to reveal the ring, Nursey sniffs and lets a little whimper of excitement out through the tears.
“Derek Malik Nurse...Will you marry me?”
Nursey practically dives to tackle him into a hug.
“Nursey, wait—!" Dex tries to brace himself with one hand on the floor while catching Nursey with his other arm, but they ultimately tumble to the floor anyway.
They at least avoid the candles.
Flat on his back and looking up at Nursey who landed right on top of him, Dex shakes his head. “You're such a disaster.”
“No takebacks,” Nursey says in a mock-warning tone as he pushes himself off Dex's chest. Still straddling Dex's hips, Nursey pulls him to sit up.
Dex puts one hand on Nursey’s waist. “Is that a yes?” Dex asks, voice teasing, heart sure, as he holds up the ring.
Nursey beams, nodding enthusiastically. “Yes. Definitely. Yes,” he babbles out, holding out his left hand.
Dex chuckles, taking it with one hand and sliding the ring on with another. He looks up to see Nursey gaping at the ring on his finger, and he reminds himself to take it in, to really remember this: the way his chest is blooming with warmth, the look of enchantment on Nursey’s face as he flexes his left hand, the sensation of disbelief that Dex gets to have this and him forever that he can feel in rushes of adrenaline all over his body.
“It’s beautiful, babe,” Nursey whispers in awe. There's a beat of silence, both of them just looking at the ring shine on Nursey’s finger, before Nursey brings his hand to the back of Dex's neck, pulling him into a kiss. It's light and soft at first, but they're quick to deepen it.
Smiling into the kiss, Dex pulls him by the waist until they're chest to chest, and Nursey melts in his hold. He feels Nursey slide a hand under his shirt, and that, coupled with the way they were settling into the quickening rhythm of the slick slide of their mouths, elicits a whine from the back of Dex’s throat.
This and him forever, Dex thinks again, almost delirious with the excitement for what the rest of his life is going to be like.
When Nursey breaks away from the kiss, Dex’s breath stutters. He opens his eyes as he feels Nursey rest his forehead against his.
“Hi,” Nursey mumbles.
Dex smiles. “Hi.”
Nursey thumbs at the bit behind Dex’s neck where his hair ends and lets out a blissed-out sigh. “Jesus, Dex, all this is so...It's perfect. You're perfect.”
Dex huffs in fond amusement. “There was supposed to be more,” he admits. “A fuckin’ picnic and everything. I was gonna ask before dessert. But you were early and I panicked.”
Nursey pulls away, but his hands stay on Dex. “Really? I'm sorry.”
“Don’t be,” Dex says. “The sooner I got to hear you say yes the better.”
“Yeah?”
“Definitely,” Dex assures, leaning forward to drop a kiss on Nursey’s shoulder. “Why were you even in the neighborhood?”
He feels Nursey freeze, and when Dex pulls back to look at him, he's avoiding Dex’s eyes.
“Nursey.”
Sighing, he meets Dex's gaze with a hesitant smile. “I think I fucked up the sizing.”
Dex frowns. “Huh?”
“I was going to stop by the jewelry store nearby,” Nursey says, hand slipping into his jacket pocket, "because I realized I fucked up the sizing.”
When Nursey pulls the ring box out of his pocket, it takes Dex’s brain a few moments to catch up.
Dex can feel goosebumps cover every inch of him. His heart is suddenly in his throat, and he doesn't know when his vision started to blur with tears again. “Oh,” is all he can muster, and even then it comes out as a half-sob, half-chuckle as he wipes his eyes with his sleeves.
Nursey smiles and opens the box. Inside it is a thin platinum ring with small black diamonds channel-set along the length of the band. “Yeah. Oh,” he teases, but there's so much fondness dripping from his voice and radiating from the way he's looking at Dex.
“I don't have a speech ready yet or anything. Too much of a mess right now to think of one too,” he says with a little laugh, tears streaming down cheeks again. “For the record, I'm definitely proposing again after this when the ring actually fits. And that proposal will be better. But for now, I just love you so much it's insane, so I can't wait to hear you say yes.”
Nursey clears his throat before continuing. “William Jacob Poindexter...Will you marry me too?”
Dex tries to respond, but only a choked-up noise leaves his mouth. So, he just nods wordlessly.
“Yeah?” Nursey grins, reaching up to cradle his face, thumb rubbing his cheek.
Dex takes a couple breaths, sniffing. “Of course. Even if you got me all snotty and gross,” he says, voice straining not to crack again.
Leaning in to kiss him on the nose, Nursey mumbles, “Disgusting.”
Dex snorts as he wipes his face. “You're just jealous I beat you to proposing.”
“Okay, you did not,” Nursey says, poking him in the chest. “I've proposed to you, like, a bajillion times already.”
Scoffing, Dex shakes his head. “None of those count, and you know it, Nurse.”
Nursey laughs as he takes the ring out of the box and grabs Dex's hand again. “Fine. I'll settle for second.”
Dex smiles. “There you go.”
“Although, by the first time I asked you in this room,” Nursey starts as he slides the ring on, “I already knew I was going to marry you.” He chuckles as it falls loose around Dex's finger, but he keeps his hand there, tracing where the metal meets Dex's skin. “So, I think that one, at least, should count a little.”
Wiggling his fingers, amused as he looks at the ring jostling around his finger, Dex shakes his head. “Sure you did. That was only three weeks into dating, Nursey.”
Nursey curls his fingers underneath Dex's chin, tilting his head up to meet his eye. “Hey. I'm serious. I don't think you get how easy loving you is. I knew pretty much instantly it was what I wanted to keep doing all my life.”
Dex can feel his eyes start to sting with tears again, heart a puddle in his chest. “And you said you didn't have a speech prepared.”
Nursey laughs, closing the distance between them. This one is gentler, sweeter, than the first one, Nursey’s hands barely on him and their lips brushing lightly in between kisses, but it makes Dex’s toes curl all the same.
They only stop when Nursey’s stomach rumbles and breaks the almost-silence.
Dex chuckles, nudging Nursey to get off of him. “Maybe we shouldn't have skipped the picnic.”
“Yepppp,” Nursey agrees as he stands up, extending his hand to pull Dex up along with him. He looks around the room and frowns. “Question. How’d you get the leech to agree to this? Dude’s the crabbiest fucking landlord in the world.”
“Stalked him and found out his kid is a Falcs fan,” Dex says with a shrug. Like it was that easy. As if he didn't leave Nursey’s old landlord dozens of voicemails before finding a picture of him with a kid in a Zimmermann jersey and calling Jack in the middle of the night asking for a favor.
“Oh, chill!” Nursey exclaims as they go over the counter to unpack the food. “Thank god for famous friends.”
Dex shakes his head as he opens the picnic basket full of tupperware. “Babe, I saw a mom buy two copies of your book because her kids didn't want to share the other day. I think you're one of my famous friends,” pointing at him with a fork.
“Excuse you, I'm your famous fiancé,” Nursey corrects, puffing up his chest and trying to look smug. Dex can always see the hint of bashful modesty in Nursey’s expression whenever Dex talks about his success, though.
Dex rolls his eyes, bumping their shoulders together and trying not to kiss him again. He knows if they start, it’ll be a while until they stop. And they're both starving.
They play music while they set up the picnic blanket and food. It takes a few minutes until Dex yelps as the ring almost slips off his finger, and Nursey chastises him for still having it on before taking a chain around his neck off and sliding the ring onto it. (“Here, you can wear it like this for now.” “Thank you, babe.”)
Nursey chirps Dex for how much food he made, but his eyes ultimately light up to see all his favorites — from the spaghetti bolognese Dex always makes to cheer Nursey up to the rhubarb pie Nursey swears he likes more than Bitty’s despite Dex refusing to believe it — as they transferred them onto plates.
While they wolf down their food, they trade stories of everything they struggled to keep to themselves the past few weeks.
Dex tells him about asking Ransom for advice on proposal ideas and immediately regretting it the moment he gets the spreadsheet indicating how much more likely Nursey is to say yes for each scenario (“Lardo told him to stop being an idiot and that you would say yes even if I proposed with a Ring Pop.” “Yo, I love Ring Pops.”) Nursey tells him about his last-minute road trip to Maine to talk to Dex’s parents (“Oh, babe. Really?” “I mean. I wasn’t really asking for permission. I would’ve proposed anyway, obvs. But yeah. Your mom cried.”)
They talk about all the times they had to avoid the other to go ring shopping, all the times they almost let it slip, all the times where they were tempted to just propose while they were just hanging out at home. Dex says he almost took out the ring the other day and got down on one knee when Nursey served him pancakes shaped like deformed lobsters with smiley faces made out of chocolate sauce. Nursey admits he almost did too when Dex saw the failed pancake attempt and laughed so hard that orange juice came out of his nose.
In a gap between stories, Nursey pauses mid-bite to break the silence. “What?”
It’s only then that Dex realizes he hasn’t touched his own pie slice yet. That he’s just been staring at Nursey, taking in this moment. “Nothing...I just…” Dex trails off as he reaches over and brushes off the crumbs off Nursey’s bottom lip. “You’re my favorite part of my life. You know that, right?”
Nursey smiles “You may have dropped a hint or two.”
Dex chuckles. “Okay. Good.”
In the morning, there will be phone calls to be made and real Instagram announcements to be posted. But, right now, it's just them, exchanging more whispers and jokes in the candlelight, basking in the answer neither realized they'd been waiting for since the first time Nursey asked the question in this same room four years ago.