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Technoblade was not attached to Phil’s crows.
As far as he was concerned, they were loud, and annoying, and woke him up when he was trying to sleep, and knocked things over in their haste to greet Phil, and they were all around nuisances in general. Sometimes, they were useful, and would alert him when Phil had once more found himself in danger (he had a funny habit of doing that) but other than that, Technoblade really had no idea what was so captivating about them to Phil.
Well. Sort of.
One night, a crow had gotten stuck in Technoblade's house while a massive storm hit. It had been clearly distressed by its loud screams, and it had slammed itself into the window several times before Technoblade had finally crawled out of bed to get it to stop. The crow had been dumbfounded by the glass, and Technoblade very quickly discovered it was only cute when Phil had no idea what glass was, rather than an energetic crow with a single brain cell. And even then, the description fit Phil too, so he supposed the only difference was that one could talk and the other very much could not.
After the third day of the storm and having to put up with the crow's nonsense, Technoblade had sat down and tried to teach his stowaway morse code. As a joke. To pass the time.
Hi, the crow tapped onto the coffee table. Technoblade's eyebrow twitched. Hi hi hi hi.
The crow had taken to morse code like a fish in water. Considering the amount of the things it had almost knocked over, Technoblade had perhaps underestimated how intelligent the bird could be - then again, crows were known to be intelligent, so perhaps it was more a statement on Technoblade's knowledge of birds than anything.
"Hullo," Technoblade greeted after what was likely the 50th hi pecked into his poor, innocent, undeserving coffee table. The crow perked up instantly, cawing happily while it bounced up and down in joy. Techno hi hi hi Techno hi.
Technoblade snorted at it, turning the page of his book as he watched the crow hop about again - wings giving the occasional flap. He had been engrossed in his book prior, but over the course of the few days, he had found himself oddly endeared by the strange crow, so his attention was snatched from the words. Technoblade's weakness had always been animals, so he really shouldn't be surprised that he found himself somehow attached to a specific crow despite his attempt to stay neutral to them.
Technoblade eventually tore his gaze away and back down to the paper. The wind whistled outside, and the fireplace crackled as it warmed the room. It was a nice, peaceful atmosphere, something Technoblade should love by all accounts - and yet the room felt strikingly empty and quiet; something missing from the scene and leaving behind a hollow feeling in Technoblade's chest.
Technoblade knew it was Phil that was missing. He knew, no matter how much he tried to ignore it, that he missed Phil. He missed having Phil tucked into his side as he quietly read out loud and he missed Phil being there to laugh and comment on and criticize the book while Technoblade ran an absent-minded hand through the soft down between Phil's wings and gods he missed Phil in general; missed the bright mischievous grin and the soft feathers and gentle hands and he missed him.
They hadn't held a proper conversation in months: because Technoblade's hibernation had been poorly timed with events out of his control, and Phil had slipped away. Every brief exchange of greeting was awkward and stilted, feelings bubbling to the surface and yet being left unsaid. Technoblade hated it, and the longer it went on, the more disasterous the consequences would be - yet he couldn't bring himself to say anything because he was scared. Technoblade, champion of the Blood God, was scared , and the best thing that had ever happened to him was drifting away because of his stupid cowardice.
Technoblade's grip on the book left his knuckles white, and his heart rate had picked up and just thinking about confronting Phil. Chat whirred in the back of his mind, a jumbled mess, and all he could catch from it was Phil’s name and mocking taunts that made shame curl in his chest.
Lost in his regretful and self loathing thoughts, Technoblade didn't notice the approach of the crow until there was more loud (and at this point, familiar) tapping on his table. Sad why.
"I'm not sad, first of all," Technoblade told it - offended at the mere idea despite the aching longing in his heart - lowering his book to stare into its thoughtless black eyes. "Second of all it would be why sad, not sad why."
Technoblade really must have fallen off if he was seriously giving grammar lessons to a crow. Said crow tilted its head at him, and Technoblade surprised himself with the awe that threatened to escape him. The crow was a stowaway who had snuck into his house. It was not cute. Not in the slightest.
Why sad.
"Bruh," Technoblade drawled. The crow stared back innocently. Book, it said instead. "Heh?"
What book, the crow tapped, hopping forward to perch on the armrest of Technoblade’s chair - the closest they had been to each other during the days.
"Oh, uh, just mythology stuff," Technoblade answered. The crow studied him for a long moment, before hopping slightly closer. It looked down at his lap, and then back at him, back down, and then up again - eyes wide and innocent.
"No," Technoblade told it sternly once he realized what was happening. The crow cawed at him defiantly, taking a daring step forward. Technoblade glared at it. The crow met his gaze, and held it as it crawled into Technoblade’s lap and settled down with a triumphant warble. Technoblade sighed heavily, lifting his eyes to his ceiling as he questioned how he had gotten himself into this situation in the first place.
Despite the irritation at the crow blatantly disregarding his personal space, Technoblade found himself gently resting a hand on its back -
thumb rubbing into the soft feathers on its neck. The crow leaned into his hand with a coo, and as much as Technoblade loathed to admit it, it was nice. For a while, the moment was peaceful, and the crow decided to attack Technoblade’s thigh with a read.
"Can you not read?" Technoblade asked, raising an eyebrow at it. No. Read me. "Technoblade scoffed at it. "I am not reading to you."
Please. "No." Please. "No." Please. "I said no." Please.
Technoblade sighed, and reluctantly began reading. It was more for the sake of his thigh than anything, he told himself, vehemently denying any cuteness that the crow's apt attention on the book held. The interaction was horrible and yet sweet all the same - reminiscent of memories Technoblade held so close to his heart yet not the same in the slightest.
Eventually, the crow's eyes slowly slipped shut, and Technoblade realized with a huff of breath that he had read a crow to sleep. Phil's crow to sleep, to be specific. What an odd situation, Technoblade thought; a soft smile gracing his lips as he stared down at the soft feathers underneath his hand. Maybe the crow wasn't that bad. Wilbur must have gotten his dramatics from somewhere, Technoblade mused, snorting quietly as he pet the crow - thumbing at the soft ebony as something akin to fondness stirred in his chest.
And if Technoblade found himself leaning down to give the crow's head a tiny kiss before returning to reading, no one needed to know but him.
[———]
It was a few days after Technoblade read the crow fell asleep, and plenty more grammar and morse code lessons that Technoblade hated he had started to look forward to - that he decided he was tired of calling the crow 'the crow.'
For the first days of their friendship (if it could be called that, even) it had been well enough of a nickname - he hadn't expected for the crow to make itself a home in his house anyways, so it was fitting. Now, calling it the crow seemed… impersonal. It felt like a disservice to his feathered friend. So Technoblade was going to put an end to it.
"Do you have a name?" Technoblade asked the crow one morning over a bowl of cereal. The crow blinked at him, tapping a no into his counter before gobbling up a chunk of the bread slice Technoblade had given it as a breakfast. Technoblade hummed, giving it a searching gaze as he ate a thoughtful spoonful of his cereal. Chat buzzed to life, flinging suggestions. Technoblade let them ramble, and let himself stew on the decision for a long while.
It was later - tucked into the little nook that was nestled into the window of Technoblade’s attic, book in hand - did Technoblade finally come to a decision.
"I think I'll call you...Brian," Technoblade murmured, lips quirking into a fond smile. The newly christened Brian gave a happy caw, leaning down to nibble at Technoblade's fingers in a way he had since learned was to show affection. Technoblade couldn't even bring himself to be mad at it, allowing Brian to snatch up his pointer finger for a brief game of playful tug of war. Finally naming his companion made something warm settled in Technoblade's chest - right between his lungs and settled next to his heart.
When Brian finally had its fun attacking Technoblade's finger, it moved to inspect the golden band around Technoblade's finger - carefully poking at the emeralds embedded into it. Technoblade's smile turned ever so slightly sadder at the reminder of the tension in his and Phil's relationship. There had been a moment - when Phil had been loopy from exhaustion and recovering from hypothermia - where things had been a semblance of normal, and then it had been shattered. Technoblade could have had the conversation that day, but he was a coward, and so they didn't.
Married? Brian tapped into Technoblade’s wrist, tilting its head up at him with naked curiosity in its wide black eyes.
"Yeah," Technoblade responded after a moment of reminiscing. "To Phil. Have been for years, actually."
Married to Dadza? Brian asked excitedly, and Technoblade managed a chuckle around the growing pain in his wrist.
"Is that really what you lot call him?" Technoblade asked, an amused smile gracing his lips. "And yes, I'm married to Phil."
Married Dadza… Technoblade could practically see the gears in Brian's little head turning, and he gently scratched at the side of Brian's head with his finger as it thought with all the brain power it held.
Married to Dadza…. Techno also dad?
Technoblade jolted upright from his relaxed position with a lurch of his stomach - sending Brian sprawling across the blanket with a startled warble.
"No," Technoblade hissed sternly, glaring down at the innocent looking bundle of feathers. "Absolutely not."
Brian - the sweet little dumbass it was - gave a happy caw and ignored him entirely. Dad dad dad dad Techno hi dad.
Technoblade sighed heavily, letting his head drop into his hands as Brian hopped across the nook while tapping Techno dad dad Techno into the blanket. And Technoblade couldn’t stop a wave of frustration, and yet a tiny smile found its way onto his face as he peeked through his fingers to watch Brian prance about. Technoblade was most certainly not Brian's dad, but admittedly, seeing the excited flapping of its wings and little hops was endearing. Technoblade had gotten attached, sue him.
Chat was no use, screaming their agreement in the back of Technoblade’s mind. Technoblade sighed as he reached over and gently scooped Brian up to cradle it against his chest, staring down into its wide eyes.
"You're a little shit," Technoblade told Brian fondly, giving it a gentle shake to punctuate his words. "And I am not your dad."
Brian seemed to consider for a long moment, and then leaned up to peck a defiant Techno dad into Technoblade’s chin. Technoblade couldn't quite smother his grin, so he settled for a glare instead.
"I can't believe you. This is blatant slander, and I won't stand for it," Technoblade said, giving Brian's head a tiny kiss and earning a happy coo back. Technoblade allowed Brian to settle in his arms, carefully tugging the blanket back up around him as he moved to return to reading.
Techno dad, Brian said again, before snuggling into the underside of Technoblade’s jaw with another contented coo. Technoblade couldn't keep up with his attempted glare, so he allowed himself to smile as he relaxed into the blanket.
[———]
When the snow storm finally cleared up, Technoblade had wholeheartedly believed Brian would fly off to go be with Phil again. Had prepared for it, even, struggling through getting the snow off his porch to give Brian a clear path. The air was cold and burned his lungs, no doubt staining his cheeks a red color. Brian was perched on Technoblade's forearm, claws latched onto Technoblade’s arm guard as it look around and studied the air.
"Glad the snow's gone," Technoblade said, more to fill the silent air more than anything. Brian cawed in what Technoblade was pretty sure was agreement, remaining perched on Technoblade’s arm. Technoblade shifted his weight from one foot to the other as he waited for Brian to take off, but there it was still.
"You uh. Gonna head back to Phil any time soon, or…" Technoblade trailed off awkwardly as Brian whipped its head around to stare at Technoblade in what looked like disbelief. Technoblade stared back, confused. It was a valid question; Brian wasn't Technoblade's crow, so it had no real reason to stick around now that it was free.
No Brian said, stomping angrily against Technoblade’s arm guard with a loud caw. No leave. Techno sad leave. No no no no.
Technoblade blinked slowly at Brian, heart warmed by the dramatic display despite his confusion. Brian was oddly perceptive, to its credit - but Technoblade would not be sad if it left.
(He would be, but Technoblade elected to ignore that fact.)
"So… you're staying?" Technoblade asked slowly. Brian nodded, pecking an angry yes into Technoblade’s upper arm. Technoblade grinned despite himself, scratching at Brian's neck and allowing it to peck at his fingers. Once Brian was seemingly satisfied, it crawled up Technoblade's arm to perch on his shoulder, head snuggling into the space underneath Technoblade's ear with a coo. Technoblade allowed it to rest there, turning his head to press a quick kiss to its head and earning a happy warble back. before setting off down the steps of the bridge and into the snow.
"Well, if you're gonna stick around, we could use some more resources," Technoblade said, grin feeling almost permanently glued to his face. Brian cawed in affirmation, giving a tiny, happy bounce, and off they went.
[———]
Technoblade was a known, feared warrior with a closet overflowing with skeletons and blood staining every crevice of his skin - a trail of corpses in his wake and a moniker of the Blood God that anyone would recognize within a heartbeat of hearing it. An old legend still walking; not to be feared or messed with.
And Technoblade - with all his years and years of life experience in war after war - was currently curled up in his chair by the fire and knitting a crown hat for his crow friend so they could be matching.
Technoblade was a well respected and occasionally feared individual, but he had always had a soft spot for animals (and Phil, always Phil) so sue him, he just didn't want Brian to get cold, that was all. Plus, knitting was calming and helped him de-stress, so it only made sense. There was logic in the action. It made nothing but sense if you only looked at it on the surface level. He just… maybe it was dumb, but he was allowed to indulge in silly nonsense time to time, okay?
Keeping his little project secret from Brian was an entire ordeal. The crow was a curious creature, and had taken to angrily pecking his complaints into Technoblade’s face. It was, admittedly, quite cute, even if Technoblade now sported a small bruise on his face. Brian was determined to see what Technoblade was making, and Techoblade was determined to keep it a surprise from him. There was no real reason to keep it as a surprise, but Technoblade wanted to do something nice for his crow friend - if their relationship could be called a friendship. Brian was still insistent on the ‘Techno dad’ thing, much to Technoblade’s chagrin. It was annoying, but in an endearing way; similar to how Technoblade would grow annoyed with Phil’s clinginess when he was trying to get out of bed and start the day.
(It had been far, far too long since Technoblade had the pleasure of waking up next to Phil. He missed it, but he knew it was his own fault.)
Technoblade was just a tad nervous to give Brian the gift - it was stupid, he knew, considering Brian was a fucking crow, but nothing stopped the anxiety anways. So when Technoblade was finally ready to give his gift, chat had taken to mocking him relentlessly. It was fair of them to do so, but it still stung.
Hi, Brian said happily, eagerly staring at where Technoblade held his hands behind his back. It tried to lean around and peak at it, but it was just small enough to not be able to reach around.
“I have a gift for you,” Technoblade said slowly. Brian perked up at that, giving an excited caw. Gift?
“Yeah,” Technoblade replied easily. Technoblade steeled himself for a moment (and wasn’t he stupid, getting more nerous over giving a crow a present than heading into battles to the death) before holding his hand out: crown proudly displayed. Brian cawed loudly, bouncing up and down with rapid warbles. Brain hopped forward, trying to bury their head into the crown with little success. Technoblade laughed, reaching out with one hand to scoop Brian up and hold it against his chest as Brian cawed happily. Technoblade's free hand very carefully fitted the knitted crown over Brian’s head. It looked, frankly, stupid, and Technoblade was convinced he was going to die over how plainly adorable it was.
Match Brian happily tapped, feathers puffed out. Match Techno. Brian bumped its head into Technoblade’s, snuggling into him with happy warbles - and its hat was bumping into Technoblade’s face but it was okay. Technoblade’s heart fluttered with happiness, and maybe it was silly, but he couldn’t help but adore his new companion.
(Later, Brian would sneak into Technoblade’s bed to climb underneath his arm with head tucked under his chin - and Technoblade wouldn’t find the heart to kick it out like usual. He would only sigh as he pulled it closer, giving Brian's head a tiny kiss - and resolutely ignore the purr that rumbled in his chest.)