Chapter Text
The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves
Victor Hugo
When she closed her eyes - the image that came to mind was the downpour of rain on her body, and the taste of petrichor that lingers on the tip of her tongue. A flavor that's a sweeter metallic relish of loss and throbbing wounds.
Yeah….
In this rain, it’s almost easier to breathe.
This scene in her head, it went something like this.
Lumine stands with firm feet on the ground, dirty soles of white sneakers pooled by puddles of rainfall. She thinks it’s Kaeya’s gift that hangs on her heavy shoulders - a flower print cardigan, thin on the layers of fabric and utterly useless to the cold. One sleeve hangs loosely from her side, exposing a bare shoulder as a shitty white tank top pastes against her body like a second skin - the denim shorts hardly providing respite. What the hell was she thinking wearing a flimsy outfit while out in the rain?
What was she thinking...while standing out here, drenched by the tears of the clouds while chaos and worthlessness fills her up like a jar of broken hearts. The ends of her hair have already curled from being soaked from the goddamn cloudrain for too long, golden eyes welling up with numbness as it never left the scene it’s watching by the window. It’s such a beautifully heartbreaking scene to see, after all.
A couple, dancing on the lullabies of a soulful dead singer.
A tall man, holding the lithe waist of a slender woman in a sunkissed dress as she rests her head between the curve of his shoulder and neck as if the mortality of men and the misery of the envious will never surpass the brink of a nurtured love encompassing fullness of growth.
And….it is true.
Kaeya has gone through so much, risked everything for such a beautiful woman. The ring Lumine has put on his finger the day they got married held nothing of worth compared to the warmth, the comfort, the promise of a better future Jean has offered to Lumine’s husband. Kaeya had never looked happier in that window, dancing inside the living room of Jean’s house - their shadows swaying along by the curtains Lumine had the privilege to watch like a movie.
An illicit affair? Perhaps.
But it is indeed, one of the best heartbreaks Lumine has been subjected to. The best hurt, the best end over the godforsaken mess and sleepless nights she has endured to become the worst failure of a wife.
Truly...one of the best ways to die a million little times if it meant one of ‘em is finally happy turning his back on one of the awful broken marriages God has made. Happy.
Kaeya is finally heartbreakingly happy. The rain seems to cry along with Lumine now, the clouds breaking into tears and so in this rain, let the worthlessness and loss sink in like poison in her veins, the venom slowly taking her last breath.
What are you thinking, Lumine.
What are you thinking?
When she opened her eyes - everyone looked at her like she had finally lost her mind.
“Isn’t she the one who murdered her own husband?”
“The police found the man’s body lying in a pool of his own blood, his throat slit. I heard it was because of an affair he had with a much higher class woman. You know how it is, she probably stormed into the mistress’s house while he was with her and grabbed the closest knife that’s within reach.”
“Wasn’t her husband, that intern at Mondstadt’s precinct? A soon-to-be police officer? What the hell was she thinking going for blood at one of the future civil forces of our goddamn town?”
“Wouldn’t you go for blood if you were batshit crazy too? She’s probably a druggie like some of ‘em here.”
Lumine almost smiles. Where she’s standing now in the centerfold of everyone’s attention, in the current scene of her forsaken scum of a life - everybody hates her for the crime she committed six months ago. But what’s just so fucking dry and funny to her is that she’s not the only criminal in the room - and yet these bastards are so quick to point fingers and laugh.
Welcome to the lobby of Illicit Affairs.
Illicit Affairs, 3021 Revision
X-Files: Introduction
Illicit Affairs is a government experimental solution for a nationwide population control. This is one of the official political projects the current president of Teyvat, Tsaritsa, has established in the second year of her administration. Project Illicit Affairs is to imprison the outlaws, the liabilities of society - for the government to fulfill its contractual objective of terminating the weakest links of the country. Through means of variants and trial and error.
The weakest links aforementioned will not only count the criminals and defiants in question, but in conjunction with the unborn fetuses with special disabilities and dysfunctional orphans that has further added hindrances to the rundown of all states.
The Illicit Affairs is a romantic experiment, as it is a family concept.
It will group one man and one woman to work together against a series of experimental stages. Special nurses or medical technologists shall insert a syringe and shoot oxytocins into the bloodstream of the teamed subjects, creating an illusion of romantic and intimate affections with their "significant other", serving its purpose as the monickered love hormones.
A microchip will simultaneously be planted temporarily into the frontal lobe of each of the subjects' brains - molding false long term memories of a life with their "significant other", supporting the purpose of the neurotransmitters infiltrated into their body.
Memories, as mentioned, will be a happy married life with their assigned wife/husband. And with years and years of unconditional fondness and unending promises with which were kept during and before the duration of the matrimony, these blissful years of a healthy, stable union and until now - where the relationship was presumptively at its peak - will finally be put to the test.
The experiment's goal is to extricate the adulterers, the abortionists, the domestic abusers, the irresponsible mothers, the wastrel fathers, and among others. The tests will also be focusing more on psychological and intrapersonal aspects of each subject than any other areas of the scientific field. No emphasis on biological set up or genetic disability history will be further given.
Prominently, nothing severely physical shall take place unless one of the subjects initiates it. If such offenses were to occur - the guards stationed in duty shall patrol the severity of the damages and take control of the situation, just as medical practitioners are designated at the side of the testing room. Idle until driven by the sight and smell of heavy blood and fractured bones. Without signs of heavy blood loss or breakage, all calls for help will be left unanswered.
In the Illicit Affairs, we believe family is the grounding point of society. And to remove the black sheeps - you start by removing the bad breasts; the parents.
Page 31
Project Illicit Affairs: Introduction
“Wasn’t her husband, that intern at Mondstadt’s precinct? A soon-to-be police officer? What the hell was she thinking going for blood at one of the future civil forces of our goddamn town?”
“Wouldn’t you go for blood if you were batshit crazy too? She’s probably a druggie like some of ‘em here.”
"You should have went for the bitch's pretty face. At least you'll butcher her chances of finding some charming asshole again, hahaha."
"Should have never spared that woman's life, if I were you."
In the first several minutes Lumine has entered the lobby for the project, fugitives and rejects immediately circle around her like vultures standing watch for its rotting meat, aiming to prey on it with vigor.
And Lumine stands in the center, surrounded with prejudicial eyes and civilian gossip. Thrown with legions of remembrances of the murder she afflicted months ago - one of the only crimes that has attracted national news within their province. And has been subjected to one of the shortest criminal investigations known to the city.
When you're in the news for confessing the homicide of your husband on the first day of detective work, it's only natural you grow popular within your peers.
After all, these outlaws and outcasts hardly reached the countrywide broadcasts. And there's nothing more boring than bullying a news ticker who only had five seconds of fame on local TV.
Hmh. Lumine does not smile. Instead, she lifts one side of her lips into a small smirk before treading past against the crowd, breaking free from its constraints and hilariously hypocritical behavior.
"Hey, we're not fucking done with-"
Lumine feels a steely grab on her bicep, the man putting in enough force to press her flesh against the tissues centered around her bones, his grip almost bruising - and it fucking pisses her off. Lumine immediately counters by rounding her arm, and clamps a palm around this asshole's elbow and swivels his lower arm in a counterclockwise direction.
"AHH, FUC-"
"Don't touch me like that, again." Lumine glares quietly, fingers digging into the fat of his flesh. The man begins to whimper.
"Hear me?"
Silence drowns the whole room, the lobby of Illicit Affairs' infamous skyscraper begins to sound like an auditorium of some magician, the audience watches with bated breaths and with a bit of anxiety of what's to occur next.
"Go eat hilichurl crap." The man spits out through gritted teeth, saliva wetting his filthy lips.
And Lumine - finally smiles. She shoves the man's arm away from her, watching him stumble one feet backwards before turning her back against the horde of toxic crowd mentality. Can feel those vulturous eyes paste against her back just as that shitty white tank top did under the rain, that day.
Some part of history always repeats itself at some point anyway.
Whispers start to echo all over the room like lost voices of the dead under a cursed well. Lumine can hear some snorts of laughter somewhat between it, and she abandons the thought of deciphering the stoned from the sober, the mentally ill from the neurotypical.
Instead, her eyes remained ahead, null from most emotions that'll reveal an ounce of her heart. She makes her way towards her assigned bed on the right, where a steel placard is mounted on the wall above it, written with the title; Subject 150.
Soon enough, the fugitives start losing interest in her. A new girl just entered the lobby - and she's far more impressive than some blonde nutcase with a hostile tendency.
Lumine sits on the mattress of her bed, and hugs her slender knees to her chest. Golden eyes stare blankly ahead of the sheets, where she can see the other test subjects fleeting and passing by her in her peripherals. These people are either dawdling or trying to lure someone to hang out in their own beds. Lumine isn't stupid.
She knows they're trying to find the perfect someone to work with for the experiment.
You truly have to keep your eyes vigilant for these. Avoid making a mistake.
"Are you interested in working with me?" Lumine shifts her head to the side, a kinder smile on her mouth. Her voice was cold, but also somewhat a bit joking when she said those words.
With her blonde hair now tied into a low ponytail, the ends of her wild short tresses were tamed by a black scrunchie. However the loose strands of her hair framing the sides of her face highlights the angelic beauty she naturally holds, making her smile trustworthy and friendly even despite the unpleasant tones underneath her voice.
"..." The handsome man frowns, dipping his chin back to the front. Lumine knows he minds being caught in the act of staring.
He was a guy, taller than the blonde yet not the tallest among the room. Lounging on his bed with one knee up in the air, a hand dangling lazily against it as his other leg is placated on the floor. The man's back is curved into a virile concave, leaning against the pillar of his bunkbed.
He's handsome. Truly. Lumine has never seen a face that pretty since her imprisonment.
"Do you have someone you want to work with?" Lumine continues, finally turning to her right and facing the man completely. Her hands intertwine against the joint of her knees, still hugging it softly on her chest.
"Why would you want to work with me?" He says curtly, his voice oddly pleasant to Lumine's ears despite his brash attitude. He was a dark haired type, with teal colors at the inner front of his bangs, and at his inner strands that similarly framed the sides of his strong-featured face. "Sorry. But what makes you think I won't turn out for the worst like some of the men here?"
"I guess I don't." Lumine shrugs. "But today we're supposed to choose who we'd want as a husband or wife. Do you mind loving me unconditionally for 72 hours?"
He raises an eyebrow. He eyes Lumine from the side, amber eyes aloof all the while, even now. "Do you want me to love you unconditionally for 72 hours?"
"Ah," Lumine laughs, "May I have the name of my husband first, please?"
"Ladies first." The man leans back casually, crossing his arms as he reclines against the wall. Lumine quietly notes the number on his placard. 110.
"Lumine Viatrix." Lumine makes a small salute.
He nods, "Alatus Nemeseos. You can call me Xiao."
"Xiao…." Lumine rolls the name against the tip of her tongue, testing her interest on it. "From the Conqueror of Demons case in 3020? The orphan who murdered his adoptive father's mob of robbers through qingxin poison?"
Xiao tenses, his broad shoulders growing taut. He looked at her as if he's digesting her reaction from that fact, "Thinking twice now?"
"You and I...we are the only pariahs in the room who actually made a name on the criminal history of Teyvat. The others here are merely substance abusers, gangsters, shoplifters, and a few wrongly accused martyrs. And I've seen you on the news back when I used to work as a psychologist in my clinic. You...weren't that far from being a victim. Not like most people here." Lumine utters gently.
Xiao snorts, "You are sugarcoating my criminal act then?" And yet Lumine can read he doesn't mean it dryly. "What makes you think I haven't planned that massacre for months?"
"You were exploited and manipulated against your will for ten years since your childhood. Your adoptive father used you as bait, if not decoy, to lure people into their deaths. You were made to attract victims and let them invite you to their homes so you can assess which rooms have the best exits, which windows were jammed, and which areas had alarms. Later that night, whether the family is sleeping or not - your father's gang of robbers will take what needs to be taken and shoot each victim dead. Leaving no survivors behind, leaving no witnesses behind." Lumine doesn't sound the least bit disturbed about the information, instead talking about it to Xiao as if she was having a consultation with him. "You may be going through a post-traumatic stress disorder, and whether you planned the massacre for months - which I don't doubt you did - the collective evaluation stays the same. You are a victim of severe past psychological abuse. The karmic binds that follows after you is proof of that."
Xiao nods, dropping his gaze as he lets out a hardly perceivable, albeit cynical smile, "I'm guessing all this information was researched, was it not? So you know me...." Xiao finishes, furrowing his eyebrows and finally turning to gaze at Lumine. "Is that how I piqued your interest?"
"I did have my eyes on you the moment I saw you from the side, recalling that boyish, aloof face somewhere." Lumine does not even try to deny it. "You still looked as standoffish as the day I saw you walk out of that abandoned building in cuffs, guarded by two police officers on each side."
Xiao hums his response, then with his brows losing their tension, he says. "Then I won't deny your claims. There's no point dwelling in a solved case - however, I will ask you this. You honestly want two murderers to fall in love and start a family?"
"Is that a yes?"
"Are you proposing?"
Lumine pouts. "Sweetheart…." A whine.
The handsome man managed to hold back raising a brow at her sarcasm, shaking his head instead. "May I ask another question….Lumine?"
Lumine lulls softly, a certain understanding in her eyes as she looks at the man who seems to trust her more now. "Go ahead."
"Do you still believe in marriage?" His voice was low, almost kinder as he addressed her more calmly. "After...everything you went through?"
……
Lumine flutters her eyes into two blinks, eyes drifting to the side as she swallows a small lump of air in her throat. Taking a deep breath after, and exhaling the ache of it under her nose. She answers quietly, "You are the first person who asked me that ever since I was chosen for Illicit Affairs. Ever since I came out of the rain that day…"
Lumine laughs shortly in cynicism. And still, there was no blame in her eyes.
"I...want to love." Her voice was honest as it is strong. "And if it's only just for a moment, then maybe I can still live as someone who I have always wanted to be."
"For seventy-two hours." Xiao says.
Lumine nods. "Seventy-two hours. We can pretend we have a second chance in this life. How about you, Xiao? Is there any girlfriend you have back home? A fiancee perhaps?"
"Just me." He replies politely. "I can't really pretend to be there for someone whom I don't have the time for. Not while I'm in prison. It's...something I have no plans on - making my future wife go through things alone. Or if I ever decide to get married. It's unpredictable, with a life as this."
Lumine grows quiet. Her golden eyes lingered on the tattoo on his lower arm, a silent knowledge shared between them of what's going to happen next once the experiment is over. Of course, it was a response worthy of all ears.
"Then...do you believe in love?" She asks. There seems to be a diminishing of liveliness in her stance, her heart peeking through its barricades just to peer at the reserved man. "Even if you never felt what that is like in years?"
"..."
"Five minutes left before the lobby closes and all teamed subjects proceed to the medical laboratory for the prologue of the experiment." A robotic voice of an artificial intelligence woman speaks from the holes of all speakers in the room.
"..."
"Hey…." A gentle, softer voice murmurs then. Lumine looks at the owner of that voice, with an expression that is just as accommodating as the emotions he nurtures.
"I'll take care of you once we're inside, okay?" Xiao says quietly. "If anything goes wrong, call my name. I'll be there."
Warmth pricks at the edges around Lumine's heart, her lungs beginning to breathe more easily. "Thank you…"
Xiao nodded.
In the next moment, everything almost became a blur of images. Gurneys, syringes, nurses and medical technologists swarming their visions from all sides. Just to knock them out in the end.
The prologue of Illicit Affairs will consist of the insertion of oxytocins onto the subjects' bloodstreams, and will wrap up with a minor surgery; where a data-based microchip will be implanted into the lobe of their brains.
But in the spur of that moment, Lumine can feel Xiao's strong presence within that room. Just a few feet away from her, a bed away from her touch.
In a moment where she should be terrified for her life - Xiao made her feel like there is such a thing as comfort in this life they're about to momentarily forget.
Safe. Lumine felt safer with him.
Illicit Affairs: Day One
Title: The Pregnancy
Time limit: 24 Hours
Theme: Fantasy Realm
Status: Commenced