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“So, how have things been going around the good ol’ Fire Nation lately?” Sokka’s voice filled the halls as the Firelord and Southern Water Tribe ambassador walked around the royal palace.
Zuko let out a slight chuckle, glancing back to Sokka. “It’s been doing well. It’s a lot of work to restore what’s been damaged after so long but it’s been much better than a few years ago. It’s been extremely helpful to have such a close alliance with the Southern Water Tribe, their ambassador knows what he’s doing,” was Zuko’s response, the last part said with a knowing smile.
“Well I’ll just have to tell him of that, now won’t I?” Sokka asked with a smug grin.
Zuko laughed and fell back a little to be side-by-side with Sokka as the latter threw an arm over his shoulder, the two continuing to walk and chat about everything that had been going on recently, from the mundane to the most important of matters.
After dinner, the two of them went out for a walk around the pond in the palace garden. The water stirred softly as a group of turtleducks swam peacefully for the evening, the two men sitting on a bench overlooking it.
A low sigh came from Zuko as he leaned over to rest his cheek on Sokka’s shoulder.
“You doing ok there, bud?” Sokka asked quietly, looking down at him the best he could.
“Yeah, just thinking.”
A snort came from Sokka and Zuko was prepared to hear his response with the full expectation of it being snarky, because he knew Sokka. It didn’t disappoint as “Oh yeah? Man, I guess there’s a first time for everything!” was what came out of Sokka’s mouth and Zuko was tempted to push him into the pond even as a lazy smile overtook his face, reaching his hand over to slowly lace their fingers together. Sokka scooted over a bit so that their thighs just barely touched.
“I just was thinking about how much you’ve been helping me lately. I know that you’ve had a lot to deal with since the war ended and you don’t exactly have a lot of time but you’ve been willing to spend some pretty hectic weeks here to help me figure things out. I know it’s a lot, and there’s still so much to do, but I wouldn’t have made as much progress without your help, even if it isn’t often,” Zuko explained quietly, looking up to the full moon’s reflection in the calm waters of the pond.
Silence enveloped them for a moment, the two just sitting there and taking everything in. The reality of everything that had happened and was still happening came to the forefront of both their thoughts but it didn’t bother them as much after the few years since Zuko had been declared Firelord. Like Zuko said, there was a lot to do still but progress had been made, on a multitude of different things.
“You know it’s no problem dude, I’d find time to help you out whenever you need me, ok?” Sokka finally said. “Being Firelord after the shit your father pulled has got to be rough. You’re dismantling entire systems, that sounds like a nightmare. I just help you out with plans and ideas, you’re the one living it.”
“I suppose that’s true, I still appreciate you going out of your way though.”
“Yeah, I’ve gotcha,” was the last thing Sokka said for a while, his head leaning against Zuko’s as the two continued looking out over the pond.
Sokka barely managed to register the heavy knocking at his bedroom door that night but was able to sit up, squinting to try and see who came in. He didn’t have to blindly guess for long though as the person in question spoke.
“Sokka, I think Zuko could use your help right now,” Iroh’s voice called out in a serious tone, the man not even flinching as Sokka jumped up, rushing over.
“What’s wrong? What’s happening?” Sokka asked hurriedly as he dashed out into the hallways, hands shaking a little as a dozen thoughts flew through his mind of what might be happening at the current moment, so much clouding his head that he barely noticed Iroh matching up with his pace and walking beside him.
“He wasn’t able to tell me what the cause of it was but he’s having a panic attack. I was lucky I heard him, he seemed very shaken up,” Iroh explained.
“Oh god, Zuko,” Sokka muttered out as his pace quickened. “Did he ask for anything in specific?”
“He gave me two taps, that is the extent of what he told me though.”
Ah, two taps.
A couple years ago, when changes were really starting to pick up, the two of them had come up with a system for Zuko’s near frequent panic attacks at the time. With a ton of major changes underway and little way for Zuko to control them other than deal with the consequences as they came, everything came down on top of him. Sokka ended up staying a few months that time so it was useful for them to create a system. Certain taps or motions meant certain things. One meant Zuko needed his uncle, two meant Sokka’s company, three was the signal to get him outside, and so on. They made about a dozen different signals for managing them and while it initially took some getting used to, they managed to learn it. Iroh was taught it as well and the servants that tended to Zuko the most had picked up on the patterns.
Two taps was rare, just like Sokka’s visits. It never stopped being a horribly wonderful feeling to hear of a two tap signal though, even if it meant Zuko was in distress in order to even deem it necessary.
Sokka arrived at the Firelord’s room as soon as he could and nodded to Iroh, the older man nodding back and wishing him goodnight and good luck. With that, Sokka took a deep breath and opened the doors to Zuko’s room quietly.
The first thing that became apparent was that Zuko was not doing ok, his breathing heavier than usual, his arms wrapped around his knees as he curled into himself tightly. Without a word, Sokka closed the doors behind him and walked over as fast as he could, sitting next to Zuko as the torch lights around the room flared, ebbing and flowing with each ragged breath out of Zuko’s mouth.
“Hey hey, I’m here, I’ve gotcha buddy,” he muttered out quietly as he gently placed his hand under Zuko’s, waiting to get any signals.
Zuko’s face slowly rose from his knees and he looked shakily down at Sokka’s hand underneath his own, tears streaming down his face. His fingers twitched as he started to signal the best he could.
Hug me.
“I’ve gotcha, don’t worry,” Sokka said with a nod, scooping up the Firelord and going over to the absurd amount of pillows at the head of Zuko’s bed, sinking into it with Zuko seated in his lap, Sokka’s arms wrapped tightly around him.
Zuko gave little signs as he started to calm down a little more, the sporadic and haphazard lights from the torches around the room slowly calming as well until only the natural flickering of the flames changed the light of the room rather than Zuko’s heavy breathing.
Sokka felt another signal on his arm.
Tighter.
Sokka smiled a bit and wrapped his arms tighter around Zuko, squeezing his waist to help ground him.
After a while of silence, Zuko took a deep breath and pushed his hair back from his face, rubbing the tears out of his eyes with the sleeve of his robe.
“Thank you..” was all Sokka managed to catch.
“Of course, I’m here when you need me. You want to talk about it?” Sokka asked softly, trying his best to keep his voice steady and quiet.
Zuko took a few more deep breaths before leaning his back into Sokka’s chest, sprawling his legs out in front of the two of them, Sokka’s own moving to bracket them. “It was a nightmare. Not like I’m not used to them but this one...” Zuko paused, taking a shaky breath in. “It was... I had to... The Agni Kai...” he barely managed to get out before tears ran down his cheeks again.
Sokka’s eyes widened a bit but he tried to hide his surprise, just letting Zuko stay close and cry as he needed. It wasn’t about him after all, he wasn’t the one who was hurting here, Zuko was. He held out a hand which Zuko took and tightly squeezed.
“He’s a real dick you know,” Sokka muttered, huffing. “I swear to the spirits, we’re in our twenties and he still scares you. Fuck him, I’m going to make you happy even if I have to do it all myself,” he said more as a personal note than to his boyfriend, tugging Zuko closer.
Zuko laughed a little as he turned to rest his cheek against Sokka’s chest and for the first time since Sokka had come in, he smiled.
“Look at that, I already did my job better than he was able to do in the first 16 years of your life!” Sokka joked, pulling more snorts and giggles out of the Firelord currently seated in his lap. “If I’m able to make the Firelord happy, does this mean I get a promotion? I feel like that would be a good tradeoff, what about you Mr. Firelord?”
“Oh my god,” Zuko laughed harder, hitting at Sokka’s arm gently. “Shut up, stop being such an idiot!” he said shakily, this time from trying to get his laughter under control. (In a way, he did have an idea of that sort in mind, but of course he wasn't about to tell Sokka that.)
“I mean, I’m just saying, the man who made you sad got to be Firelord, what kind of example are we setting if he’s rewarded for that?”
“Clearly a horrible one, you’re right as usual,” Zuko chuckled out with only the slightest bit of sarcasm, finally calming down from the impromptu giggle fit.
“You know it!”
Zuko shook his head, looking up at Sokka with a deadpan expression. “Oh look at that, I’ve just fed your ego, that’s reward enough right?”
“Zuko!” Sokka exclaimed, pushing his boyfriend with a mock air of offense, the Firelord in question laughing once again.
“You love me and you know it,” Zuko teased.
Sokka laughed and pulled him in close, grabbing his chin to tilt his face up. He looked down adoringly at Zuko, getting a fond smile in return. “I do,” he hummed, kissing Zuko soundly.