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The sound of the wind outside along with the birds nesting in trees was the only thing to be heard in the dark of night, the former geo archon sitting in what was now his apartment in the city of Liyue harbour, laying in the warmth of his bed while he read a book he had already memorised all the words too, merely reading out of boredom.
He wasn't wearing his usual clothes, his coat was hung on the hook on the door and his other clothes were put away in their respective places. He was wearing a plain white shirt and comfortable dark grey pants, a lot less form than what he normally wore but just perfect for laying around in bed. his golden-tipped hair draped over his shoulders, his fringe covering parts of his face, but not enough to obscure his vision.
He had just gotten home from the funeral parlour, his boss Hu Tao had kept him for longer than he had expected, with her talking and mumbling about a client she had the displeasure of dealing with while Zhongli was doing other things. He was just glad he was home, to have time to himself, although, given his current status, or lack thereof, he had too much time to himself.
Since he was no longer acting as the god of his nation, he always had time to be alone, he had eternity to himself after all. His eyes skimmed over the book in front of him bored, the dark of the room making it slightly difficult to make out some words, but his impressive memory made up for it.
His attention was taken from his book, his ears picking up the sound of a door creaking open as his eyes darted over, spotting a silhouette with ginger hair appearing from behind the door, his blue eyes seeming brighter in the dark. Zhongli wore a smile as he closed his book, “good evening, Childe.” pushing the duvet beside him off and beckoning the boy over by petting the mattress.
Childe quickly responded with a nod, rushing over to the bed and getting in next to the long-haired ex-archon, ignoring the fact that he was still fully clothed. a light tapping sound echoed through the dim room from the book Morax had hit the bedside table beside him; his arms wrapped around the ginger gently as if he could break, his amber eyes looking down at the younger male who had his face buried in his chest.
“Nightmares again?” Zhongli asked, his hand roaming upwards to stroke the boy's hair soothingly as he got a nod in response. Childe had started living with him a bit after that incident with the Fatui, and with that Zhongli discovered that Childe has nightmares, a lot of them and they were bad enough to get even a harbinger shaking and in tears. He never asked about these nightmares and fever dreams but he had a suspicion about what they were about.
The harbinger must’ve fallen asleep the moment he had gotten to the other male's apartment, from what probably was a mission since he was still fully clothed, with a few stains of blood on his clothes and bruises on his skin. His hair was messy and ruffled, and his eyes, although unseeable now, looked tired and puffy, with bags underneath them and water-dwelling on the edge of his lower lids. It was a rare sight to see the usually cheerful and strong man cry, it alone almost broke Zhongli to see, he felt guilty, someone as young as he shouldn't have to bear the burden he does.
Zhongli gently held the sides of Childe’s face, slowly getting him to look at him, his glossy blue eyes looked up at him, his expression was uncharacteristically tearful, he looked scared even, his eyes wide and his body still shaking. “it’s ok, Childe… you’re ok.” He placed a gentle kiss on his forehead, stroking his hair with one hand while his other firmly held him. Childe’s blue eyes just stared into Zhongli’s brown ones, longingly as if wanting to say something but wouldn’t— no couldn’t. He couldn’t find the right words to say to him, whenever he tried to get even a noise out tears would start bellowing in his eyes again. He felt weak and vulnerable, and normally this would’ve been a thing that he wanted no one to see.
and it still is.
He hated showing weakness to people, to anyone, he was a harbinger, someone who was infamous for his authority and fearlessness. Weakness and vulnerability weren’t something he was supposed to be feeling. Hell, he left even more so towards Zhongli due to his former power, having such high authority and control made him feel as if he needed to one-up that.
He didn’t know why his first thought was to make a b-line to Zhongli after awakening from his hellish nightmare, so vivid that he could’ve sworn it was real. He had awoken in a cold sweat, shaking with tears rushing down his cheeks as he held his body close to himself. Mumbling things under his breath as he shakily got up, only thinking about how he needed someone there, anyone.
His thoughts were eating him alive and he needed someone to shut them up. He would normally cope by going out and slaughtering Hilichurls or other lowlife creatures in the wild, but he remembered Zhongli was there. The bastard that manipulated him like a puppet tied to strings, albeit he tried to do similar.
He shuffled off of his bed, walking straight to Zhongli’s room, which led them to the present. Childe stared teary-eyed at Zhongli who merely comforted him in silence, with no judgement or odd stares. He felt strangely safe, something he hadn’t felt in so, so long. He felt his tears become harder and harder to hold back as his grip on Zhongli’s shirt became shakier and shakier.
Upon noticing this, the archon’s calloused hands cupped the ginger’s cheeks, rubbing his thumbs gently in circles. “It’s ok to cry Childe, it doesn’t make you weak,” He smiled at the Fatui boy, a warm comforting smile with words so sweet that they could rot someone's teeth. That broke Childe, tears rolling down his cheeks as he choked on his sobs, burying his face into the other man’s shirt as he held onto him for dear life. Zhongli held him back, whispering words of comfort to him as he pulled them into another position that was more comfortable for the two of them.
As if he was handling glass, he ever so gently pushed Childe away, the teary-eyed boy looking up to him like a hurt puppy. Zhongli took off his gloves, flicking the hair from his shoulders before grabbing Childe’s jacket. “Get changed into something more comfortable, you can sleep with me if you need,” Zhongli told him, the oblivious old man seemed to miss how odd that sounded, a man telling another man that he can sleep with him.
Childe was never one for social cues either though, and he just needed comfort, he didn’t care about how he might look back at this ashamed in the future, he just needed this at the moment. He shuffled back, looking to the door out of Zhongli’s room.
He didn’t want to leave.
“You can use my wardrobe if you feel more comfortable, I'm sure my clothes will fit you too,” as if Zhongli could read his mind, he told him reassuringly, grabbing his book that he placed aside before reading the contents where he left off. Childe just nodded silently, getting up and moving to the dresser full of clothes neatly folded and colour coded.
Zhongli gave him the courtesy of privacy as he read his book, not even daring to look up to not see Childe in a more… revealing appearance. He only looked up when he heard Childe throw his old clothes to the side, seeing him in a long-sleeved shirt and pants, both shades of dull brown. He pushed the duvet of his bed down, beckoning the harbinger to come beside him, and he did quickly, attaching himself back to Zhongli in seconds, wrapping his arms around his waist, his head buried back into his chest, the warmth radiating from the other male put him at ease.
Zhongli once again placed his book aside, rotating his body to face the other boy as he got more comfortable, his arms holding him close as they blended perfectly. The archon, not needing sleep, just focused on Childe, his breathing slowly becoming calmer and calmer as his death grip on his clothes relaxed. He sighed, smiling to himself as he held the slightest bit closer to him.
Oh how much he loved this man, perhaps one day he’ll be able to say so to his face. One day, I'm sure.