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"But you're certain?" asks Jim for possibly the fourth time that day. They're being oddly insistent on this point, and the rest of the crew are doing a frankly terrible job of pretending to ignore the exchange between Jim and Oluwande happening in one corner of the rec room.
Lucius is a bit surprised that Oluwande and Jim are discussing this in public, but it has the sound of a long, ongoing conversation.
"I'm certain," Oluwande assures them, patient but a bit tired. "My mum always told me I'd marry some pretty girl, but I don't think that was ever really what I wanted, y'know?"
"But we could," Jim insists. "I love you, and I just want…" They trail off, frustrated.
Oluwande turns, taking Jim's hands in his own, and Lucius thinks absently that Oluwande might be the only person Jim would allow to pin both their hands at once, never mind how gentle he is.
"It doesn't matter to me, Jim," Oluwande insists. "I know what we have is real, and I don't need any silly piece of paper or religion or whatever to tell me that…uh, no offense," he adds.
Jim waves it off.
"Besides," Oluwande continues, "if we wanted to get married, you'd have to pretend to be a woman. I don't want you to be anything other than you are, not on our wedding day."
"Yeah, but I'd do it, though. For you, cariño," Jim admits, and the look Oluwande gives them is so sweet that Lucius really thinks maybe he should excuse himself.
"Yeah, well, there's always matelotage," suggests Frenchie, out of nowhere. Everyone stops pretending to converse in the background and turns to Frenchie.
"Matelotage?" asks the Swede, sounding out the word.
"Yeah," Frenchie elaborates. "It's like marriage, only for pirates? And so it's usually between two men. Or a man and a…" He gestures vaguely at Jim. "…a person."
"Like Izzy and Captain Blackbeard," puts in Fang.
The whole room goes silent, staring at him.
"Blackbeard is married?" Black Pete says faintly, and Lucius is just grateful someone else asked. Fang, blushing under the sudden attention, nods.
"But what about him and Captain?" asks the Swede.
Fang shrugs.
The crew erupts into speculation. Lucius can see Fang and Ivan exchange a glance. He grabs Fang's arm and slips out the door while Buttons is saying something about 'the love of the heart and not the body'.
Lucius waits until they're up on deck to ask anything, and he checks for the first mate three times before he does so.
"So Blackbeard and Izzy?" he asks Fang. "That really a thing?"
"Yeah." Fang looks uncomfortable. "I didn't think it was a secret."
"And Captain Bonnet?" prods Lucius.
Fang shrugs. "Kinda figured it was like you and me and Black Pete. He doesn't mind, does he?"
"No, love," Lucius agrees, "not at all." And it's an idea certainly, except… "I just never thought Dizzy Izzy would go for that," he muses. "You know he tried to use our relationship against me? Not exactly the type of man who understands how to share."
Fang shrugs again, still uncertain, and Lucius decides to take pity on him.
"Don't worry, love. You did nothing wrong. I'm sure the others will forget about it soon enough. Now," he pulls out his sketchbook, "what do you say to a little private art session?"
Lucius is right. The rest of the crew place some bets and then forget about the discussion rather quickly, which is something of a relief. Roach and the Swede speculating about Izzy Hands's love life is not something Lucius ever needs to hear again.
It is curious, though, the matelotage. Frenchie insists that it doesn't have to be a romantic thing, but Lucius is pretty sure this one is. Anyone with half a brain can see that Izzy is hopelessly devoted to Blackbeard. Lucius just never thought that love might be reciprocated. And as much as he really does not want to think about his captains having sex—and that goes double for Izzy Hands—Lucius can't help watching them just a little more closely over the next week. What he finds surprises him.
Izzy and Blackbeard are the same as ever, which is to say that they are hardly the platonic ideal of a romantic relationship. Still, Lucius knows some of the many shapes such relationships can take. Izzy and Blackbeard are more like an old married couple. They work well together but bicker constantly. Well, Izzy bickers and Blackbeard tells him to shut up or threatens to throw him overboard in a way that barely even sounds like a threat.
It's only odd because the captain is more Edward these days than Blackbeard, and for all that Izzy seemed incredibly pissy about that change before, he acts perfectly fine with it now. Perhaps the man has simply resigned himself to the inevitable. Or maybe he's started to appreciate the perks of not constantly fearing for one's limbs.
No, what really surprises Lucius is Stede Bonnet.
Lucius Spriggs will be the first to admit that he himself is a terrible pirate. It was never a job he wanted, not really, but it was better than the alternatives (anything goes at sea, and all that). Stede Bonnet was also a rather terrible pirate (it's the only reason Lucius managed to get himself hired in the first place), but, surprisingly, the Captain appears to actually be improving, so much so that even Lucius can see it. Even more surprising, Izzy Hands seems to have noticed.
It's not that Lucius considers Izzy to be an idiot. Irritable and petty and violent, sure. But not an idiot. It's just that Lucius thought Izzy wouldn't give a shit what Bonnet did.
And yet…and yet, Lucius has counted no less than four occasions in the past day alone when Izzy and the Captain had what Lucius would term a positive interaction. He had better record these, Lucius decides, in the name of a thorough investigation.
Breakfast. Toast and marmalade. (Roach insists he needs more sugar and oranges if this is to become a thing.) Captain takes a sip out of Dizzy's cup, accidentally. Captain apologizes profusely. Dizzy does not stab him through the eye.
Midmorning. Six bells. Captain is in the crow's nest. He can apparently climb now, who knew? World's Worst First Mate (thank goodness the fucker can't read) climbs up after him. No one hits a yardarm on the way down. Captain is positively beaming.
Afternoon. Sometime after the midday meal. One or two bells or whatever. Blackbeard and Izzy are in the captains' cabin. Captain Bonnet goes in. For two hours. Captain emerges flushed and visibly uncomfortable, but alive.
Night. After supper, before storytime. Izzy approaches Captain as he's working on deck. No one else around. They talk. It's…nice. Izzy is being nice. What the fuck. Captain—
Lucius breaks off writing as he see Izzy storming toward him. Shit. He tries to duck behind the capstan, but it's no use. Izzy catches him by the ear, dragging him towards the stairs belowdeck.
"Don't you have places to be, boy?" Izzy growls. He sounds anything but nice.
"I was just checking on the Captain," Lucius stammers. "Had a message from…uh…Roach. About the food. The food we had for dinner?"
His notebook tumbles from his hands, and Lucius flails as Izzy reaches to retrieve it, forcing Lucius to bend almost in half or have his ear torn off.
Izzy stares blankly at the writing on the open notebook page. No sign of recognition, thank God. Then he scowls.
"Get out of my sight," he spits, throwing Lucius toward the rec room door and tossing the notebook after him.
Fuck.
The next morning, Izzy takes breakfast in the captains' cabin.
Lucius perches on a barrel by the stairs and watches the door as he nibbles on a piece of bread, but Izzy doesn't emerge for almost two hours. When he does, he makes a beeline straight toward Lucius.
Ohshitohshitohshit.
Lucius stuffs the bread in this mouth and shoves his notebook into the back waistband of his trousers and tries to look busy with something. He gives up immediately as Izzy's fingers clamp around his arm.
The first mate has a surprisingly strong grip for such a little guy. He topples Lucius off the side of the barrel and practically drags him to the captains' cabin. Lucius stumbles along in his wake. He knows protesting is probably futile, but it would hardly do to let Jizzy Izzy get the last word, so he keeps up a steady stream of complaints and observations until the cabin door slams closed behind them.
Blackbeard and Captain Bonnet are both staring at him from the chaise.
Oh shit.
The remnants of their breakfast are still strewn across the desk and side tables. Bonnet brings his teacup to his lips, then smiles warmly.
"Lucius, dear boy. Do come in and have a seat." He gestures to a chair, and Izzy releases Lucius's arm. Lucius, entirely too confused to argue, perches on the edge of the seat, nervously tapping his fingers against the side of his leg.
Captain Bonnet is still smiling.
"Now, Lucius, I know you take your role as my chronicler very seriously," he begins.
Lucius nods. He doesn't like where this is going.
"And it has come to my attention," Bonnet continues, "that you have perhaps been keeping a separate record of some of my activities as captain."
The bottom drops out of Lucius's stomach.
Bonnet doesn't seem displeased, but Izzy must have told him. There's no other explanation. Even if Izzy couldn't read the notes, maybe he saw Lucius watching and just guessed? And from the way Captain Bonnet is talking, he must think it's something nice that Lucius has been writing. And he can't possibly get his hands on the book because this is Lucius's private sketchbook, and if the captain knew what he was really sketching, he'd certainly be horrified, and—
"Well?" Blackbeard asks, and Lucius's heart jumps into his throat. The man seems calm enough, lounging on the chaise and looking more amused than anything, but it still makes Lucius uneasy.
"It's really just personal observations," he hedges. "I've saved all the good stuff for the official chronicle and logbook."
Captain Bonnet beams, and Lucius hopes that maybe that will be the end of it, and he's opening his mouth to politely excuse himself right the fuck now, when the captain interrupts.
"Nonsense!" Bonnet says. "You know we value your keen observations and insights into crew dynamics, Lucius. I'm certain your records in this case are well worth sharing. Izzy, be a dear and read Lucius's latest entries for us, would you?"
And to Lucius's utter horror, Izzy Hands shoulders past Lucius's chair, deftly plucking the notebook from the back of Lucius's trousers as he passes. The first mate settles on the end of the chaise by Blackbeard, cracks the book open, and clears his throat.
"Breakfast. Toast and marmalade. Captain takes a sip out of Dizzy's cup," Izzy begins, and Lucius stops breathing.
Izzy can read. Izzy is reading what Lucius wrote. Izzy and Bonnet clearly are in cahoots, and Blackbeard is in on it too, and after this they're all going to murder him.
"Captain is in the crow's nest," Izzy continues. "He can apparently climb now, who knew?" He raises a mocking eyebrow in Bonnet's direction. The Captain smiles back, apparently undisturbed. Must not have hit him, yet, Lucius thinks hysterically.
"World's Worst First Mate," Izzy reads. He pronounces all the capitals and then pauses so Blackbeard can let out a cackle.
"Thank goodness the fucker can't read," Izzy continues with the parenthetical, and Lucius sort of blacks out at that point. He comes back to himself just in time to hear Izzy finish with "Izzy is being nice. What the fuck."
"What the fuck indeed?" Blackbeard chortles and then bursts out laughing. Captain Bonnet chuckles, too.
Breath, just breath. Lucius pants. He's aware that he's inhaling far too fast but that hardly matters when he's about to die anyway, and he can practically feel Izzy's fingers closing around his throat, so better enjoy his last breaths. He can vaguely hear Blackbeard still guffawing. The air in the room feels too thin. Oh God, this isn't happening. This can't be happening. This isn't real.
He's aware he might be hyperventilating because his vision is going fuzzy, and then Captain Bonnet is kneeling in front of him, and there's a gentle hand rubbing his back, and it takes Lucius entirely too many seconds to realize that it's not Bonnet's hand at all. And Blackbeard is still on the chaise. Which means…
"Oh dear, Baz," says Bonnet, a note of panic threading through his own voice. "I'm afraid I might have misjudged the situation. Lucius, dear boy, it's perfectly alright. We're not angry, really. It was all a…well, that is to say…"
"I'm not going to kill you," Izzy's voice comes from behind him, and, strangely, that's the thing that calms him down. Lucius is fairly certain that Izzy Hands is rubbing his back, and if that's not a sign that he is losing his goddamn mind, what is?
He blocks out the room, the whole situation, focuses on the gentle circling movement of fingers between his shoulder blades and lets his breathing slow. His lungs spasm slightly as he reigns in his breaths. The room swims back into focus, with Captain Bonnet's wide, concerned eyes staring up at him.
"There, now, that's much better, isn't it?" Bonnet is saying. He pauses, clearly expecting some response, and Lucius manages a jerky nod. "Excellent!" Bonnet crows. "I'm afraid this is all my fault, really. I'm terribly sorry to have frightened you, dear boy."
Blackbeard mutters something from the chaise.
"No, no," Bonnet insists. "It was quite a cruel game to play with poor Lucius; I should never have suggested it. You and Baz weren't to know he'd take it so hard. After all, the boy is my responsibility, and I do forget from time to time that my crew are still rather…" Bonnet hesitates.
"Scared shitless of us?" Blackbeard suggests, wryly.
"Um…well, I wouldn't quite say that," Bonnet insists, rather too quickly.
"He's far too polite for that, Edward," comes a familiar voice from behind Lucius, and he nearly jumps out of his skin. How on heaven and earth had he forgotten about Izzy? The man's fingers are resting lightly against Lucius's lower back, but the circling motion must have stopped at some point.
Lucius flinches, and Izzy draws back, pushing himself to his feet as he continues "I think Izzy Hands is only mildly terrifying. Not like Blackbeard." He chuckles, and the corner of his mouth twitches up into an unfamiliar smile. "I have been playing nice."
"Nice! Nice?" Lucius practically screeches. He catches himself a moment too late. Fuck it. If they were going to kill him, they'd have done it already. Probably. He turns on Izzy. "You call glaring and cursing and dragging people along by their fucking ears 'nice'?"
"Oh, dear," says Bonnet, with a slight frown. "That does sound rather painful, Baz."
Izzy shrugs. "You're here, aren't you?" he says to Lucius, as if that makes any fucking sense.
Blackbeard rumbles and levers himself off the chaise.
"Right! Now that these two idiots have had their fun, I suppose it's time for some introductions."
Captain Bonnet looks like he wants to protest, but he doesn't interrupt.
Blackbeard stands, wrapping a heavy, leather-clad arm around Izzy's shoulders. Surprisingly, Izzy leans into the touch, relaxed and familiar. It is a wholly un-Izzy-like thing to do.
"This is Basilica," Blackbeard says, gesturing to Izzy. "My matelot," he adds. Huh. So Fang had been right. Only—
"Basilica?" Lucius asks, putting as much skepticism into his voice as possible. A bit of a challenge since his knees are still shaking, but never let it be said that Lucius Spriggs isn't a sassy little shit.
"Yeah," agrees Izzy—Basilica—cheerfully. It's a strange look. Izzy doesn't really do cheerful. Almost as if—
"You absolute arsehole!" Lucius exclaims, as soon as he gets it. "What the fuck, you sad little sadist. Just having a laugh here with your boyfriends while the rest of us scrub the decks and prep the lines and whatever the fuck else out of fear for our actual lives?"
Lucius can acknowledge that he is, perhaps, going just slightly overboard. After all, he'd never really feared for his life around Izzy until just a few minutes ago, but it's the premise of the thing, really. Captain Bonnet looks slightly alarmed at his outburst. Blackbeard just raises his eyebrows. Basilica grins, and if that isn't possibly the most disturbing sight Lucius has ever seen, well...
Lucius trails off in a huff. Basilica swallows back his smile long enough to offer "I have kept the ship functioning, haven't I? Not even run aground once." He shoots a sly look at Bonnet, who registers the jibe about a half second after Lucius and Blackbeard.
Bonnet grimaces, but he doesn't look particularly hurt, more rueful. Blackbeard chuckles yet again, and eventually Bonnet joins in. Basilica ducks out of Blackbeard's hold and takes a cautious step toward Lucius.
Lucius pushes himself up to his full height and resists every urge to take a step backward, but Basilica stops a couple paces away, not invading his space like Izzy had. The shorter man's expression sobers a bit.
"I am sorry," he offers. "For the deception, and the bullying. It's…what always worked. It kept us safe. And I know this crew is different. That's why we're still here, it's why we're…" and here he gestures between Blackbeard and Bonnet and himself.
Lucius scrunches his eyes shut. "Yeah, I got it. Thanks. Did not need that image."
Basilica just chuckles softly again. It sounds kind of sweet, once the sense of whiplash subsides.
"Look," Basilica says, "You figured it out, me and Stede, and so we figured you deserve the truth. And I know you hate keeping secrets, but I'm hoping you'll agree to hold on to this one just a little bit longer."
He levels an expectant look in Lucius's direction, and Lucius realizes that it really is a request. Not an order. And sure, he wants to tell Pete more than anything, and he wants to know how much Fang and Ivan suspect, but also, it's kind of nice, seeing this side of his captains and Izzy, and besides—
"Okay," Lucius decides. "But you'll owe me a favor. All three of you." He catches the captains' eyes, where they've stopped laughing with each other and are listening carefully to the exchange. Blackbeard shrugs. Bonnet nods.
Basilica's lips quirk up into that smile again. "Mr. Spriggs, I believe we have an accord."
"Oh, and no more barnacle scraping, Mr. Hands," Lucius says, and he sees something shift in Basilica's posture.
"Fine, you fucking twat," Izzy spits, and Lucius can't help the smirk that twists the corner of his mouth.
"Takes one to know one," Lucius says.
Izzy turns back to face the captains, and he's still Izzy. Lucius isn't sure what's changed, exactly, but he knows. And he'll have days—maybe weeks or months, as long as Basilica's secret is kept—to figure it out.
"I've always liked this one," Izzy tells Bonnet.
Lucius decides to take the compliment.