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Cyclone stares at the red and blue striped binder on his desk in a state of disbelief, personally offended by the label on the front and the tabs poking out of the pages. 'The Care and Feeding of the Feral Maverick, by Tom "Iceman" Kazansky' stares back.
After receiving Maverick and his shenanigans in Iceman's will, Beau was hoping that this would kind of be a passive job. He agreed to Iceman's request, sent off the necessary paperwork, and laid in wait for the first of many incidents of pulling his hair out. Or what's left of it. So far, Maverick has been on his best behavior, but if Maverick screws up, then Beau would bail him out to the best of his ability. That was what Cyclone expected his new agenda to be.
Apparently, Iceman had other ideas.
The binder looks innocent enough, but the fact that it's four inches thick and entirely full says something about its contents. It came in the mail after Beau submitted the forms to install Maverick as a permanent instructor until retirement. While it wouldn't keep the Navy from pulling him out for other missions when the need arose, it would keep him airborne and happy.
And, as the first line of the subheading reads, 'A Happy Maverick is a Manageable Maverick.'
The second line says, 'Sometimes.'
Dear fuck.
Beau covers his mouth with one hand, using every ounce of his willpower in his body to take a calming breath and sit down at his desk. He dreads opening just the cover, let alone flipping through the pages inside. So, it is with great trepidation that Beau lifts the front flap and gazes upon the first page.
It's a table of contents, and the listing is not a short one.
"What did I do to you, Admiral Kazansky?"
The answer is pretty obvious. Cyclone made clear his disapproval of Maverick's presence back at Top Gun the first time around. He couldn't see past all the reprimands plastered inside the man's file or the sheer number of offenses that would've lost anyone else their wings in two seconds flat. Kazansky made a career out of protecting the crazy bastard. Beau's sin was doubt, and now he's paying the price.
The table reads as follows:
Summary and Introduction to Maverick 101 (pg. 1-14)
-Notes and remarks
Chapter 1: No, He Has Not Had Coffee Today. He Is Just Like That. (pg. 15-34)
-You will know he had coffee if....
Chapter 2: Willful Insubordination (pg. 35-50)
-Reasoning
-List of Admiralties with Vendettas to Avoid (Post Darkstar Incident)
-Procedures and Solutions
-Pulling Favors
Chapter 3: Pilot Shit (pg. 51-152)
-Priorities
-Calculated Risks
-Proper Terminology for Cataloging Unorthodox Engagement
-"Don't Think, Just Do" and What That Means for You
-Citations
-Cobra Maneuvers (Assorted Flavors)
-Spite Is a Powerful Motivator
-Buzzing the Tower and Why It's Not Optional
Chapter 4: Things Not to Do if You Expect Him to Listen (pg. 153-166)
-Self-explanatory
Chapter 5: Tendencies (pg. 167-200)
-Undocumented Adoption
-Unsanctioned Flight
-Unwillingness to Compromise
-Unwavering Promotion Avoidance
-Other
Chapter 6: Bradley Bradshaw (pg. 201-234)
-I made a gamble. If it pays off, you're welcome. If not, fix it before one of those two idiots dies.
-Ensuring Bradley's Well-being and Why It Applies to Maverick
Chapter 7: General Health (pg. 235-256)
-Current Medical Charts
-How to Tell He's Hiding Something
-Allergies and Aversions
-How to Get Him into the Hospital Without Causing an International Incident
-List of Accepted Medical Personnel
-Emergency Contacts (Extended Edition)
Chapter 8: Trigger Warnings (pg. 257-262)
-People
-Places
-Signs and Circumstances
Chapter 9: Care and Feeding of a Chronic Dumbass (pg. 262-339)
-Eating Habits
-Sleeping Habits, or a Lack Thereof
-Why Consistently Bringing Around His Children Will Benefit You
-Recreational Activities
-Holidays and Anniversary of Death Protocol
-Potential Acquisition of Broken-Down Planes
Chapter 10: What to Hold Over His Head When He Inevitably Pisses You Off or Gets Out of Line (pg. 339-349)
-Dirty secrets
-His Children (No threatening them or you will regret everything.)
-Why Trying to Take His Wings Does Not Work
Conclusion: Threats to Your Person (pg. 350-355)
Beau blinks at the last line of the table of contents, reading it a second time just to make sure he saw it right. He flips straight to page three-fifty and swallows hard.
I may be dead, but in the event that you disregard Maverick and the contents of this book after accepting the terms of my will, just know that I am still more than capable of making your life a living hell. I have eyes everywhere. I am watching.
If this were anyone else, Cyclone might've scoffed and thought this was all bluster and scare tactics, but this is Iceman. Admiral Kazansky was many things, but a liar was not one of them. He made this entire binder with the intent to ensure Maverick received support in the right places and a kick in the ass in all the rest. Beau realizes as he reads onward that the friendship between Maverick and Iceman was more akin to brotherhood, protecting one another on the ground as much as in the air. Maverick was Kazansky's secret weapon, the man he would send on runs everyone else deemed impossible.
He's a man who can come home even when all odds side against him.
Beau smiles sadly, even as he reads Iceman's death threats. The only person remotely as close to him as Maverick and Ice were to one another is Admiral Bates, but this kind of partnership is the stuff of dreams and legends.
Protective ferocity bleeds off the page, but never with heat or rage. It is cold. The words are calculated and direct, and they leave no room for doubt. How very like Iceman. Cyclone flips back to the beginning of the binder when he finishes reading the last few pages.
If you're reading this, you have come into possession of a rare species of aviator known as Maverick.
May God help you.