Chapter Text
Johnny noticed a lot of things about Simon. He noticed how the man never seem to eat beans. He noticed that he was very particular about the order that he kept his knives in. He also noticed that he never seemed to drink too much. The man was almost always their designated driver, only having a single bourbon. Every time they went to a bar he only had one drink.
Johnny noticed a lot about the man, which is why it was surprising that he didn’t see the signs earlier. Maybe he just thought that Ghost was having a rare time to let loose. They had all been ready to head out to the bar when Simon had stated, with no question in his voice, that he was not going to be driving everyone there or back tonight. They all nodded in agreement. It seemed only fair since he always drove them to and from the bars.
In fact, Johnny didn’t notice so much to the point that he was excited to drink with his LT. He was finally able to buy the man a drink more than one that he always let himself have.
This time, he drank multiple drinks with his LT. He supposed that he didn’t think the alcohol would affect the man all that much, especially with how big he was. Ghost seemed unaffected for most of the night, even as they were on their way home as Price was drove them back in the truck.
He started to get an inkling, that something was wrong, was when Ghost suggested that they all continue to drink in the rec room once they got back. It seemed a little suspicious, but at the time Johnny just brushed it off, figuring that the man wanted to keep the good times rolling.
At the time Ghost still seemed mostly unaffected by the alcohol. Then the night got later and later, he and Ghost shared a few more rounds. The team drank for a couple hours more and one by one they all started to peel off with various excuses. Soon enough, it was just Simon and Johnny sitting on the couch in the rec room.
Johnny had cut himself off close to an hour before. Sipping his water as the pleasant buzz faded and his head was slowly starting to clear. He would wager that in about 30 minutes he’d be fully sober again so he had a pretty good handle on his head. Which is why it startled him so much when he heard a sudden giggling from beside him.
His head hat snapped to the side as he looked at his companion. Ghost had not, in fact, stopped drinking with Johnny. Actually, now that he was thinking about it, the man had been drinking more since they got back. He analyzed the table in front of them, trying to think if the half empty bottle of bourbon had been full earlier or not.
Now that he was mostly sober, warning bells were starting to go off in his head. Something was reminding him that Ghost didn’t drink. He certainly didn’t drink this much. He studied the man closely and saw his glassy eyes, not quite focused on anything. His body was fully melted into the couch not a single bit of tension there his whole head tilted back on the couch.
He reached over, placing a gentle hand on the man’s thighs. The muscle jumped under his fingers, “You alright man?”
“God, I haven’t felt like this in a long time. Guess that was a goal, wasn’t it?”
“What was the goal, Simon?”
“Get fucking wasted, maybe have a couple hours away from the agony I don’t know something like that,” his words were slurred and his eyes unfocused.
Johnny sat up straighter, looking at him intently, “What do you mean? Are you hurt? Did something happen on the last mission? Simon, you know how Price gets when you start hiding injuries.”
Oh please for the love of his homeland let this stupid man be alright. Johnny tried to look for any injuries but wasn’t finding any. He thought that they had broken Ghost of his habit of hiding injuries a while back, but he knew that the man still sometimes slipped back into old ways.
“Nothing physical Johnny,” the man muttered, his eyes flickering around the room, never quite landing on anything. He had to be sloshed right now. Johnny was starting to worry. His LT certainly wasn’t in the right state of mind, he should have seen it earlier.
He didn’t know what had caused this but the man had taken care of him enough times when he was trashed that he wouldn’t even think about leaving him alone to have him sort it out on his own. Johnny’s hand rose to intercept the glass that was on the way to the man’s mouth.
“LT, I think it’s time for bed. Let’s put the drink away yeah?”
The man looked at him, the closest thing he had ever sent o the man pouting, “Just one more Johnny. Just enough so I can pass out tonight. Just wanna keep this feeling…”
“What feeling LT,” he asked, keeping the man’s attention on his face as he pulled the glass away anyway, setting it on the table in front of them.
“Feel like there are no consequences like this, or maybe I’m just not afraid of them like this. Know I’ll be kicking myself for the headache in the morning, but it feels so damn good right now.”
“Let’s get some water in you then so that you might not have as bad of a hangover in the morning yeah?”
Johnny stood before he got a response, taking the half full glass and bottle with him. He dumped the remnants of the glass down the sink and put the bottle away in the cabinet. He got a fresh glass of water for Ghost and made his way back.
He sunk back into the couch at his side, “Here drink this, LT.”
The man looked at it confused but then with an encouraging nod from Johnny he took the glass and drank it all quickly. Once he was done Johnny took the glass again and placed it on the table, promising himself that he would come clean up in the morning.
He stood and held out a hand for Simon to take, “Alright, time to get you to bed Simon, just take it slow.”
Simon looked up at him, his expression dazed. Johnny was almost knocked off his feet at the smile he got from Simon as the man took his hand. He had to put a bit of weight into leveraging the big man off the couch and then to support most of his body weight as the man leaned on him.
“Gonna take care of me Johnny,” the man practically purred in his ear and Johnny had to suppress a shiver. The man was drunk, he had no business thinking that tone had any ulterior motives.
He tried to keep his voice steady as he responded, “Yes LT, taking you back to your room alright? Need’ta make sure ye get back alright in this state. Can’t have you passed out in the hallway.”
The man nuzzled into his neck as Soap half led half carried the man to his room. Once they got to his door the man was utterly helpless with unlocking the door. He had to pat the man down to find his key. The man made a noise that sounded like approval as Johnny’s hands wandered his pockets to pull it out.
Warning bells were still going off in his mind, if anything they were louder now, and he knew that he needed to be careful with Simon. He didn’t want the man to be any worse for wear in the morning, especially when he didn’t do this often. He also didn’t want to get his ass kicked by the literal Ghost for overstepping a boundary while the man was drunk.
With the door finally open and they both slipped through. Simon stumbled a bit and Johnny grabbed him by the shoulder to steady him, both face to face.
His eyes were hazy with alcohol, his grin just a bit too wide. It was unnerving, not to mention distracting. Suddenly Simon was pushing him back onto the bed. Johnny was so shocked at the clumsy strength that he didn’t even fight it at first.
He was even more shocked when he ended up with Simon climbing into his lap as he sat at the foot of the bed. He tried to back up on the bed so that the man could have room, but the man just kept following him. A startled noise coming out of his own throat.
Johnny’s back bumped against the headboard, and he realized that he was about to get a lapful of Simon whether he liked it or not, “Hey LT, what are you doing?”
The man straddled his thighs, resting his weight there, hands running up Johnny’s chest. He felt a cold shiver of unease trickle down his spine, this was wrong.
“Simon?”
“I ever tell you how damn hot you are Johnny,” the man mused, not quite meeting his eyes even though he was looking at him. The haze was still thick in his expression, he swayed sharply before righting himself.
“Simon,” he protested before the man traced his hands up his chest and neck. Johnny shuddered. He had to squeeze his eyes closed. How many times had he wished for this to happen? How many times had he wished to be in Simon’s arms like this? Have the man in his lap or laid out all pretty beneath him?
But this was never how he wanted it. This wasn’t right. The man was drunk off his ass and feeling up Johnny. He opened his eyes to see Simon finally looking directly at him.
“Want you Johnny,” his voice was almost a whine as he spoke, “Been tryin’- have you noticed? Know I don’t flirt too well but I’ve been tryin’- just want you.”
“Si-” he held on to the other’s wrists before they could travel up to his face.
The man kept talking before he could continue, “Fuck me, c’mon Johnny. Said you’d take care of me.”
He shook his head as Simon continued, his hips starting to grind down on Johnny’s groin. He hated the way that his body was reacting, already getting hard at the attention. He wanted to give into the man so bad that it hurt. But he knew that he would be taking advantage of the state that Simon was in. He could never do that to him.
“Simon, yer starting to stress me out mate. Ease up will ya?”
The man ground his hips down again, growling into his ear seductively, “Can help you out with a bit of stress relief Johnny. I bet you would fuck me right. Bet I’d be loose like this too.”
“No,” he said firmly, grabbing the man’s hips and holding him still, “No Simon I’m not going to fuck you like this.”
The man looked at him, head tilted in confusion, “You don’t want me?”
“No! I mean yes, I do want you. Steamin’ jesus Simon! I want you, but not like this,” he pushed the man’s hips down his legs so that they were no longer pressed into each other at the groin. He felt like he could finally breath again.
“What do you mean like this? ‘M still Simon.”
“Yer drunk Si. I’m not gonnae take advantage of ya like this. It’s not right,” he explained gently.
The man looked utterly confused, “You came back to my room with me?”
“Aye, cause I wanted to make sure ye got back safely. Didn’t bring you back here to have a roll in the sheets with ye.”
There was a long pause from Simon. A long pause where neither of them moved. The man was trying to think and Johnny let him have a moment. Honestly, he was trying to collect himself as well.
Eventually he did talk, “Why does me being drunk mean anything?”
The warning bells were going off again, as if they had ever stopped, “Because you can’t give consent when you are drunk like this Simon. Even if we talked about it earlier, which we didn’t, you are too far gone to be making decisions like this. If this is something you want, we can talk about it when you are sober, but we aren’t doing anything like this tonight.”
The man tilted his head, “It never mattered before.”
Johnny felt his blood run cold, his voice low when he questioned, “What?”
“No one ever cared how drunk I was before.”
“Who?”
Simon slid off his lap in favor of laying against his side, head on a pillow looking up at Johnny, “They always fucked me like this. I don’t know what I did wrong with you, I don’t understand why you don’t want me like this…”
The man was rambling, his eyes barely even open anymore. His words, however rambling, were sure of themselves. Soap shifted down to his side to be eye level with him, “Simon, answer a few questions for me, ok?”
The man hummed in agreement, seemingly pleased to look into Johnny’s eyes like this. He pressed forward, “I know you are pretty private, do you have sex often?”
The man shook his head and Johnny continued, “But you have sex with guys from bars?”
A nod.
“Are you usually drunk like this when you do that?”
A shake of his head and Johnny feels the clench in his chest begin to loosen. Until the man speaks, “Not usually, always. That’s just how people have sex Johnny. Being on bottom hurts too much if yer not drunk.”
Johnny felt like he had been struck. Felt like he had been flayed open where he laid on the bed, Simon’s words cutting down to his very soul.
He reached forward and pulled the man into his chest in a bear hug. He ignored the tears on his cheeks, he was hidden from the man anyway, “No, no Simon. That’s not right. That’s not how this is supposed to work. It’s not supposed to hurt, and you’re not supposed to be blackout drunk when you have sex.”
Simon mumbled something but Johnny just held him tighter, “If you still want this when you are sober, I would be willing to show you. I would love to take care of you Simon, just not like this. Not because I don’t want you, but because I care too much about you to do this to you ok? Do you understand that?”
There was a bit of hesitation but soon enough the man was nodding into his chest. His body going boneless under Johnny’s arms. The man must have passed out as his breathing evened out and he melted into a puddle in Johnny’s arms.
Johnny started out over the man’s head to the far wall. He felt his ears ringing in the silence, it was as if a blast had gone off an he had been caught in the shock wave. He held Simon for a moment, allowing him this moment of peace, trying to process what just happened.
It didn’t take long for his skin to begin to crawl. Every point of contact with the man felt like hellfire. He fought the urge to flinch away, instead he pulled away gently trying not to wake the man.
He couldn’t touch him any longer, especially not with the man asleep, really it could probably be counted as passed out at this point. He rose and looked around the room he moved the pain killers and a bottle of water to the bedside table.
He looked at the man, still fully clothed on top of his sheets. It was all too easy to imagine someone taking advantage of the man like this. It made him sick that Simon asked him to do it, didn’t realize that anything was wrong with that.
Johnny took a deep breath, he had done the right thing, not letting Simon take them any further down the path he had wanted to. He knew the man wouldn’t be comfortable sleeping in his jeans but all Johnny could manage to do was take off his boots. He couldn’t bring his shaking hands to help the man any further.
He simply turned the edge of his comforter up to cover the man where he laid, covering him like a soft taco. Then he all but ran from the room. He made his way back to his room on autopilot, going through his routine without even thinking about it.
He finally settled down in his own bed and stared up at the ceiling. He was exhausted, an intense sadness settled into his bones at the thought of what Simon had gone through. He had obviously been mistreated, likely assaulted, and he thought that was normal. He thought that was how sex was supposed to happen.
He was too tired to cry but it was a near thing. Johnny had always enjoyed sex, top or bottom. He always communicated with his partners, made sure they were always on the same page. Hell, he had even stopped in the middle of sex multiple times either because he didn’t want to continue or because his partner had asked or even hinted at wanting to stop.
He had always set firm boundaries and didn’t push his partners’. He never wanted to be someone who took more than what someone wanted to give. His dad had always drilled into him how important consent was, long before he had ever been having sex. It was second nature to him at this point.
As his eyes slowly started to droop, he thought of his LT sleeping in his room down the hall. He resigned himself to go talk to the man in the morning. He would explain to him that he deserved to be treated with respect and if someone tries anything with him when drunk that he needs to kick their ass.
Bloody hell he needed to have a sex talk with his LT. Oh. He needed to have a talk about consent with the man he wanted to sleep with. Fuck that wasn’t going to be a pleasant conversation.
His eyes were fully closed by now and the last thought in his mind was about how even if it wasn’t a pleasant conversation it needed to happen. Hell, he would gladly take the ass kicking that might come with it if it meant that Simon was safe. Even if the man never wanted to be with Johnny, he was still going to make sure he knew that he deserved to be respected. He deserved to enjoy himself, to not be assaulted. Fucking hell Simon. The man never made anything easy for Johnny.