Chapter Text
Kaz leg was arching from being stuck in the backseat for the last three hours, his cane propped between his legs while his gloved hands were shuffling a deck of cards from one hand to another. Cards disappeared and reappeared in different places, the sound was calming his nerves. He stared outside the window and engraved the road names and turns into his memory to keep his brain busy.
There wasn’t much more to look at than fields and trees and far too many cows for his liking. For one second he opened the window but only snared at the country air and got back to shuffling. His thoughts went back to Ketterdam, he already missed the hectic business of the city, the dark alleys and big facades, everybody minding their own shit, new puzzles to solve, new secrets to steal.
The only job he could do here was counting fucking cows.
He noticed that his social worker Rotty was still talking although he knew that Kaz didn’t care to listen or engage in the conversation, he hardly had said a word since Rotty picked him up from the courthouse.
“Could you stop doing that for a second?” Rotty complained annoyed and watched him in the rear mirror, gesturing to his cards. Kaz just clicked his tongue and continued shuffling with a challenging look. Rotty only sighed annoyed.
“We are nearly there, do I need to explain to you again how this is going?” he gave him an impatient look and Kaz wanted to punch someone, preferably Rotty but settled for a glare instead.
“Good,” Rotty sounded satisfied and they continued the rest of the drive in silence.
Just a few minutes later, the car turned into a dusty driveway and Rotty killed the engine in front of an old farmhouse. Kaz looked around and spotted a barn, most likely with cows inside and a large field that stretched wide, disappearing into the evening sky.
He sorted his very used deck of cards back into the box and let it vanish in his black hoodie.
Rotty got out of the car and signalled to Kaz with an annoyed glance to hurry up. Kaz stared him down, a mid-thirty years old man, hair short to a few milimeters and built like he visited the gym five times a week.
As Kaz didn’t move, Rotty opened his door and whistled sharply to get him going. Kaz clenched his jaw, Rotty was his social worker for the last couple years and he had stopped counting how often they had done this dance.
“Get your ass moving and your shit out of my trunk. I’m on schedule!” Rotty barked out, already tired of Kaz attitude.
“On schedule of being a lazy asshole? Don’t worry, you're right on time,” snapped Kaz right back, lifted himself out of the car and grit his teeth as his leg started pounding harder after sitting in the cramped space for too long.
Either Rotty didn’t notice or didn’t care, because he just snorted annoyed and shut the door with more force than necessary while Kaz limped to the trunk to get his backpack out. It was the end of summer, but the air was still heated from the day and sweat was running down his back.
Then he followed Rotty up the porch to the front door, waited behind him as Rotty knocked.
“You better be on your best behavior or I drag your ass right back to Juvie. I didn’t drive the last three hours for nothing," Rotty whispered before a man in his forty’s with a smile on his lips like someone had told a joke a second before, opened the door. He had brought shoulders and dark red hair; his face was covered in freckles and full of laughter lines. He looked like a man who worked on the fields the whole year.
“Mister Fahey, we talked on the phone earlier. I’m from CPS," Rotty introduced himself, his voice free of the warning tone he used just seconds before and on Fahey’s face settled realisation.
“Yes of course come in please. Then you must be Kaz!” the man smiled at him and offered Kaz his hand, Kaz only stared at him, his own hands rested on the head of his cane. After a moment Fahey pulled his hand back nervously, opened the door wider and they stepped inside.
Kaz scanned the room in seconds, marking all the exit points in his mind without letting Fahey out of his sights. There were standing in the hallway; he could hear a shower running and Rotty started his speech immediately.
“Thank you again Mister Fahey for your flexibility.”
“No need to thank me, we have room. Should we sit down?” Fahey said after he noticed Kaz’s uneven posture. If he would be real with himself he really wanted to sit down and stretch out his bad leg, but he already hated the worry and pity in Fahey’s green eyes. He didn’t need this man’s sympathy, he needed nobody’s sympathy.
“Of course," Rotty agreed and Fahey lead them into the kitchen, where both sat down at the far too big kitchen table, but Kaz didn’t move an inch. He kept his back to the wall, cane between his legs and muscles tense, ready to act in seconds should someone make a move.
“Sit down Kaz," Rotty ordered as he saw Kaz standing frozen at the wall and started to unpack his documents. Kaz continued standing and staring, calculating how much of an enemy Fahey would be in a fight. His shoulders were broad but not very muscled, more athletic from working the fields. Kaz wondered if the man would be fast, he had a few inches on him but Kaz was fast and speed was more worth in closed rooms than strength.
Rotty let out a frustrated sigh and stopped sorting his documents and instead stared at Kaz with an angry look, a clear demand in his eyes.
Kaz face was cold as ice, not showing a hinge of emotion but eventually - mostly because he was getting tired of Rotty’s face - he chose a chair at the other end of the table. From there he had the hall, the front door and both men in his line of sight, while Colm was eyeing him. His backpack landed beside his feet.
“So, Mister Fahey-”
“Please call me Colm," he interrupted.
“Right Colm then. I already told you that Kaz is on probation and we’re very happy that we could find him a suitable placement on such short notice,” Kaz observed Colm’s reaction closely, but Colm just followed Rotty’s words attentive and nodded as a sign that he understood.
“If he doesn’t break his conditions of probation or fuck up in any other way; means does anything illegal or runs off, he’s clear in a year. Any problems you have my number, do you have any questions before we settle all the official stuff?” ended Rotty his speech and started to adjust his papers for Colm to sign. Colm just shook his head and went with Rotty through the paperwork.
Rotty didn’t explain all the foster care stuff to him, Colm had to be familiar with the process. It didn’t take them long to settle all the papers and after what felt like several hours Rotty started putting everything back together.
“Very well,” the instant Rotty stood up, Kaz was on his feet too, watching them both. Rotty wasn’t surprised by his abrupt movement, but Colm eyed him with a worried glance. Kaz hated it.
“Don’t cause me any more trouble. I don’t want to see your face for the next few months,” Rotty eyed Kaz for a moment before turning to Colm, “Mister Fahey, I feel obliged to tell you that this little brat only caused me trouble for the years I know him! I would keep him on a tight leash if I where you.”
“Fuck you!” Kaz replied hateful and recognised the shock on Colm’s face as he heard his far too deep and rough voice for the first time.
“This is the attitude I’m talking about!” Rotty pointed a finger at him warningly.
“We will handle it," said Colm calmly, Rotty just nodded and shot a last glare to Kaz but didn’t say anything else and just headed for the door.
Colm waved Rotty goodbye as the car disappeared into the setting darkness and came back to the kitchen, Kaz steeled himself for anything that could happen now, he lived through this situation so many times before, nothing had ever changed. A man who took a teen like him in, wouldn’t just do it out of a pure heart.
He saw his own file once, it was massive and full of complains from previous group homes, his police and medical records.
Men who took teens like him in always wanted something out of it and now he couldn’t even run away. He could try but as soon as Colm recognised he bolted he had to contact Rotty and inform him that he had broken his probation condition that said in a fancy language that he couldn’t go AWOL.
So he gripped his cane harder, his fingers clasped around the crow’s head and planted his feet, the steel caps of his boots ready to be used and watched every movement of Colm, waiting for the twitch in his muscle when he would jump or throw something after him.
“Well, he’s a piece of cake! Anyways, are you okay with pasta?”
Kaz mind was racing a thousand miles per minute, trying to see through Colm’s game. As he moved Kaz jerked backwards. Colm froze and slowly raised his hands, watching Kaz.
“Relax! I’m not going to hurt you," Colm explained while not moving a muscle.
“Yeah they always say that," Kaz grunted, he knew violence was coming. It always did.
After that, sadness shifted through Colm’s face for a second and he tried again, “No one is going to hurt you.”
“Da?” a voice shouted from upstairs and Kaz tensed at the noise. Fast steps came down the stairs and a lanky boy appeared in the doorframe in the horrendous clothes Kaz had ever seen.
“How long till we can eat? Nina said she’s starving but that’s nothing new-” the boy stared down at his phone but stopped in the middle of the sentence as he looked up and saw Kaz in the kitchen. His hair was short and his skin dark, his long legs gave him several inches on Kaz.
“Oh hey, I’m Jesper! You must be the new kid Da told us about, really last second but I’m glad it worked out. You’re real lucky, today’s game night and Matthias said they gonna be here in half an hour or something," Jesper started rambling, oblivious to the tension in the air.
He came into the kitchen, brushed Kaz on his way far too close for his liking and it was only for Kaz’s survival instinct that he didn’t break Jesper’s face for it, as the lanky boy lifted himself up on the kitchen counter, looking down at his phone again.
“Jesper, I told you to cancel game night tonight," said Colm.
“Uh yeah ... I forgot. Well now they are already on their way, it’s not that big of a deal, right?” Colm sighed and started moving again. Kaz rolled his shoulders that tensed up so hard it hurt while he stepped back until his back hit the wall. Tightening the grip on his cane yet again.
“Kaz, that’s my son Jesper, he’s clearly not very good at manners or he had offered to show you to your room, so you can get settled,” Colm introduced Jesper to him properly and Jesper smiled at him apologetic. Then Jesper jumped back down from the counter and stuffed his phone back in his pocket.
“That yours?” Jesper asked and gestured to his abandoned backpack on the ground, Kaz didn’t reply and just followed his gesture with a calculating look. Jesper raised an eyebrow as he didn’t got an answer from Kaz, grabbed the bag anyways after a few moments and turned for the hallway.
Kaz shot Colm a last judging look and made sure that he didn’t turn his back on him as he slowly followed Jesper.
They both stayed silent as he limped up the stairs, it seemed like Jesper wanted to say something desperately, but he stayed quiet.
Kaz’s cane made a dull sound on each step, his leg was still in a worse shape than normally, but Jesper didn’t comment it, only matching Kaz uneven pace.
“This is your room," he gestured to a closed door on the left side as they reached a small hall. “Next to you is mine and on the opposite is Nina. The bathroom is next to Nina and downstairs is a second one,” he explained the remaining doors in the little hallway, leaning against the wall and observed him from a safe distance. Kaz met Jesper’s look and for a second they just stared at each other, till Jesper opened his mouth again. “What happened to your leg?” he asked curios.
“None of your business!" Kaz snapped, reached for his bag that Jesper was still holding and grabbed the door handle. He stepped into the room and prepared for people jumping him and pinning him to the ground but he was alone.
Kaz shut the door behind him with much more force than needed, oddly surprised as he found a key in the lock of the door and locked it.
The room was small, but it seemed like he had it to himself, there was only one single bed pressed against the wall to his right side with a little nightstand and a lamp. Right opposite of the door was a window, with a desk underneath and on the left side was a drawer with a few books on top of it and a little basket with bathroom utensils. The room was small but clean and smelled of old wood and freshly washed sheets.
He stood in the middle and took it all in, he never had a room for himself in any foster home. At the Slat he had his office, which was tiny but he had a bed and a desk and that was enough. His backpack landed next to the bed and he sat down at the desk, his fingers shuffled cards immediately and his mind was buzzing.
The violence was a constant companion in every foster care or group home he ever stayed in since Jordie died. Although he was never shipped out of Ketterdam to the country before Kaz was sure that eventually they all would drop the façade.
He didn’t trust Colm at all, the friendly act was always the same until the social worker left. Maybe Colm didn’t change that instant but Kaz was sure that sooner or later the real Colm would show his face. He would eventually grow tired of Kaz's attitude like all the others before him.
The bed was near enough for him to prop his leg up and he hissed at the pain while hot anger burned though him. He could slap himself for his stupidity and carelessness that brought him here.
He sat there at the desk, shuffling and listening for any movement downstairs, muffled voices reached up the stairs, but he couldn’t understand what they were saying, his mind already busy to find a way out of this mess, while overlapping escape routes and half-baked plans were taking form inside his head.