Chapter Text
💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐💐 chapter 1
╰┈➤ ˗ˏˋ [ y/n pov ]
I was alone in my room at the orphanage crying myself to sleep again. I was a poor 10 year old child who didn’t have parents as I just spawned into life one day and no one wanted me as their poor child. That night that I was crying I heard loud banging on the door to my room in the orphanage
Oh no! There were four people breaking intoo the orphanage!!!! I was only a small 10 year old child and I could not defend myself against them breaking in!!! I cryed in my room even harder and screamed at them to stop trying to break in through my window
One of the guys breaking in had really annoying cucrly hair and he had a weird combination of pvc pants and no shirt but enough bead necklaces to out-necklace a cabaret and he grabbed me by my feet and ran outside with me. I stopped screaming because oh well even if I was getting kidnapped I was finaly getting adopted what can I say??
He handed me off to some other annoying looking guy who looked like Alsn Wilder but I couldn’t tell if it was Alan wilder. Holy shit if it was alan wilder and if the annoying curly haired blonde guy looked like martin gore that meant depeche mode was kidnapping me. I loved listening to their music because it was the only thing I was allowed to have at the orphanage. I wasn’t even allowed a blanket so I would use my 12” copy of speak and spell to warm myself on cold nights like these.
I think Alan (?) threw me into the back seat of a really expensive looking car. It looked like a hearse but I didn’t really know. The back looked like it could fit a coffin but instead there were seats where said coffin should go.
He left me in there to die basically. I notieced there was a cardboard cutout of someone who looked familiarly similar to Florian Schneider’s robot figure but who was I to judge why they had a German robot man cardboard cutout in the back of their hearse. Goals tbh
When Alan and everyone else acame back they jumped into the car and I think Fletch was driving but before he drove off he said “I drive”
Then out of nowhere all of Depehce mode started screaming because Fletch ran someone over. We all stepped outside to look at who it was. They ran John Taylor over!!!! Nooooooo!!! Durn Duaran!!!!!
He picked him up and put his body next to where I was strapped into a child booster seat. He looked fine so I guess it was ok. Before we left after running John Taylor ovee Dave and Fletch were yelling at each other over whether he should keep driving or not. Alan was asleep the whole time because honestly he didn’t care and martn was eating something out of a soggy PF chang’s bag. I didn’t even know they had PF Chang’s in British.
ACTUALLY come to think of it I wonder what dpehcce mode and john Taylor is doing here. We’re literally in Boston what the fuck is the Brisish synth twinks doing here????
Once they got back in the car I gathered up the courage to ask them. “Hey depeche mode what are you doing in Boston” I said
“Don’t worry about it. Also we’re not kidnapping you we are technically rescuing you because you don’t have parents. We are all your parents now and don’t worry about Duran Duran backc there, hes not dead. And also don’t worry about the Florian robot cutout we’ll explain later” Dave explained.
We then drove for hours to New york. Idk what business depeche mode had in new york but John taylor did not wake up the entire time. Apart from all of them yelling the whole time it was not a very long time. Fletch was literally speeding the whole time because ?? I don’t know why honestly but ok!!!! At least we got to listen to music but I couldn’t really tell what they were playing over the arguing.
Eventually we stopped drivnnng in what seemed to be the middle of wall street. Dave and Fletch desperately tried to wake sleeping Alan up by screaming at him and throwing Mart’s PF Chang’s bag at him which Martin responded to by beginning to sob uncontrollably.
“Oi we can stop by wherever you want to get food so we can get you a new paper bag, that one was really soggy anyway” Fletch comemtned in a very mother tone. “Anyway we’re here Alan wake up because we need you to retrieve an item for us.”
“Ok”
He then ran out into one of the many big glass buildings and it took him five minutes to come out with what looked to be a Solid State Logic 4000 E-Series sidecar which I have no idea how he ran out with that in one hand. Anyway Fletch didnt’ let him buckle his seatbelt before he sped off back to where we came for because apaprnty he wanted applebees and martin desperately needed a paper bag to chew on.
We ended up going to applebees but only after putting up a sign that said John Taylor was asleep and leaving the AC on so he wouldn’t die in the hot september weather. And they forced martin to put a shirt on
-------Time skip they’re in applebees---------
We got a table and then they gave me a kids menu of course and some crayons to scribble on the napkins with. Then the waiter came over and asked us what we wanted to drink and everyone got “chips” and water. And when our water and chips came back everyone got mad because they got chips like AMERCIAN chips not “british” chips aka fries even though the waiter I think was literally also british so idk
And because everyone was too busy fighting I ordered grilled cheese and it came out almost immeddatly but then Fletch being the angry mother he is got up and then low key did the roblox da hood thing where you fight someone bare fisted and it was intense and crazy but ok. Dave snuck me back to the car so I wouldn’t get hit and told me to wait for them to get out and I said ok and waited in my child car seat.
Then while I saw them running out I saw Alan carrying the twink waiter by his feet and dragging him out to where John Taylor was. He sat/layed him next to me in between John Taylor and me.
“Who did you just kidnap??????????”