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As a ruling Archon, Zhongli had always made sure to keep in touch with what happened in other countries, so he could make the right, informed decisions for the people of Liyue. The habit stuck with him, and so, even as a mere consultant of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, he continued to harvest an interest in foreign news.
He considered it an enjoyable part of his routine, and one that, thanks to subscriptions to several papers (somehow all paid by a certain Snezhnayan redhead), conveniently didn't require Zhongli to have any money on him.
Every morning, he liked to indulge himself in this pastime of his, all while drinking tea of the highest quality (Once again, a gift of his dear Childe). Today was no different.
He was just about finished reading a Mondstadt article about the mysterious disappearance of a whole alcohol stash that had Venti written all over it. With a roll of his eyes, he put the paper aside and reached for the latest issue of the Steambird instead. It had been delivered to him rolled up, so he had to unfold it. How bothersome.
However, a feeling of utter devastation shoved his light irritation aside as soon as he got a glimpse of the cover.
11th Harbinger Tartaglia killed during evasion attempt, the headline read in big, black letters.
His teacup fell to the floor, shattering into a hundred pieces. Zhongli didn't even register the heat of his drink as it splashed all over him. There was nothing in his mind but pain, terrible, excruciating pain.
It was impossible... Ajax… Ajax couldn't be...
He... He had promised Zhongli he'd be back soon while kissing him goodbye... They had a contract that remained to be honored... His mate couldn't be just... gone.
Tears rolled down his cheeks as he failed to fool himself. He knew from the very beginning that Childe fancied a dangerous lifestyle, one that could ultimately lead to his demise, but this... He... He was not prepared for it. Not in the slightest.
With shaking hands, he put the newspaper down, unable to read any further. Part of him wanted to know what had happened, to get at least an explanation of why all his hopes for a bright and happy future had suddenly been ripped away from him, but it hurt too much for Zhongli to seek that answer.
And to think he could still picture Ajax kissing him goodbye, could still remember the light press of his lips on his, could almost hear his chuckle floating in the air still...
None of that existed anymore, and eventually, erosion would take even that from him, just like it had blurred his memories of Guizhong. It would all fade away, leaving Zhongli broken and lonely, aching for something that would never come to be again.
His chest shook and heaved as he sobbed hard. What was he supposed to do, now that his whole universe had fallen apart? How could he face such an unexpected tragedy? How was he meant to cope? He was at a complete loss.
The clock ticked. Ah. He only had a few minutes left before the start of his shift at the funeral parlor. Such mundane consideration almost sounded ridiculous, especially when compared with the gravity of his grief, but it was part of his contract, wasn’t it?
Contracts were something tangible, something Zhongli could always hold on to. He needed to honor them, no matter what. That was a certitude he could cling on to, a clutch that would prevent him from stumbling into an endless pit of despair.
For now, he could focus on this.
When he showed up at the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, Zhongli was still holding the Steambird in a rigid grip. Somehow, he just couldn't let go of it. He hoped Hu Tao would forgive him for this misstep. And even if she wouldn't...
Well, she couldn't possibly make Zhongli any more miserable than he already felt.
He spotted her at the front desk and went to greet her, trying his best to sound professional, to pretend he wasn't falling apart at the seams, to bury his sadness deep, deep within the confines of his chest.
"Director Hu..."
He failed pathetically. His voice cracked and more tears smeared his makeup. The concerned look his boss gave him only made him cry harder. He didn't mean to burden her with his mourning, but the harder he tried to regain control of himself, the more he wept.
The next thing he knew, Hu Tao was taking him in her arms and holding him close. Zhongli choked on a sob at being shown such sincere compassion. He buried his face against her shoulder, desperate for any crumb of comfort. Words refused to leave his lips, not even to offer her an explanation, but she was clever enough to put the pieces together.
"I'm so, so sorry. I know how much he meant to you," She murmured. "We'll make sure he has a peaceful passing, I promise."
Zhongli shook his head, distress obvious in his eyes.
"I cannot even do that. The prerogative of retrieving his body... It goes to his family and to the Tsaritsa... Not... Not to me... We weren't... we never made it official..."
"We will find a way. You'll get to tell him goodbye; I’ll make sure of it."
Her voice, though soft, was also filled with determination and fire. She sounded so sure of herself that Zhongli could not help but put his trust in her. It would not fix everything, of course. She could not bring Childe back or stop Zhongli's heart from hurting, but... She was there for him. She was family to him. She was a good enough reason not to let himself succumb to hopelessness completely.
When she gently pried the newspaper away from his hands, he let her.
In the next few days, Hu Tao made sure to never leave him alone. She treated Zhongli to his favorite food and took him on walks to his favorite places. Anything to keep him moving and busy. However, without Ajax by his side, every meal tasted like ashes and every stroll felt void of happiness, meaningless.
Strangely enough, life in Liyue was the same as usual. That was what Zhongli struggled the most with, what he hated the most: how nothing had changed. How the inhabitants of the Harbor behaved in the same way as before, barely impacted by the news that had crushed him.
Only some employees of the Northland Bank mourned the death of the 11th Harbinger, and they did it quietly, almost in hiding. The people of Liyue still resented Childe for the whole Osial incident, and he had died a convict. The Fatui openly grieving him would not have sat well with the Qixing, Zhongli assumed.
Much too often, he’d heard someone comment that Ajax had gotten what he deserved. Each time, it took all of his resolve not to throw a meteor at them for speaking such cruel, heartless words. Even though Hu Tao made sure to distract him every time it happened, it tested his patience all the same.
Today, they were distributing coupons together, an activity that had the advantage of taking Zhongli away from his somber thoughts. Director Hu had just split up to hand vouchers to twice as many clients when he caught a glimpse of ginger hair in the crowd.
His heart limped in joy at the sight, then flattened, burdened by sorrow, the second he realized that it couldn't be Childe. That it would never be Childe ever again.
And yet, the closer the man got, the more similar he looked to his dead lover. Same blue eyes, same grey clothes, same red scarf, same everything.
Then, he waved at Zhongli.
"Hey, Xiansheng! I hope I haven't kept you waiting for too long! Did you miss me?"
Zhongli froze, his mind riddled with fears. This was it. Erosion had finally struck him. There could be no other explanation.
"This… I know this isn't real. You cannot be here." He uttered in a wobbling voice.
Childe, or at least the illusion that bore his traits, frowned and tilted his head in confusion.
"What do you mean? Is something wrong, Zhongli? You don't look well."
His worried tone sounded exactly just like that of his partner. Zhongli couldn't bear it. Why did fate have to be so cruel to him, showing him what he needed the most, but would forever be denied?
"You are just a projection of my inmost desires. The real Ajax... the Ajax Iove... is dead. He will never appear before me again."
New tears welled up in Zhongli's eyes as he was forced to acknowledge the heartbreaking truth out loud. The words sliced right through his heart, leaving it with wounds he feared would never heal.
Realization dawned upon his interlocutor, whose eyes widened in horror.
"Oh gods, Zhongli, please, tell me you received my letter!" He hurriedly exclaimed.
"A letter?" The consultant repeated in a puzzled voice
He hadn't opened up his correspondence, or even checked it, ever since learning of his beloved's death, and thus for good reasons. The whole Harbor knew of his relationship with Ajax and reading condolence message after condolence message wasn’t something he felt strong enough to do, at least not yet.
"Yeah, the letter in which I explained how I faked my death to escape Fontaine authorities, and that you did not have to worry about anything. That letter."
It took Zhongli a little time to register his words, mostly because he feared how badly it would hurt, if he allowed himself to hope. Still, a soothing feeling started burgeoning in his chest.
"Do you mean that... You're real?"
"Yes Xiansheng, I'm real. I promise."
Childe put a gentle hand on his shoulder, and Zhongli could feel it, warm and firm.
Alive.
He couldn't take it anymore. He threw himself in the Harbinger's arms and sobbed uncontrollably, uncaring of the attention it gathered.
"Do you have any idea how... how intolerable it was to live in a world where you didn't exist anymore? How… How atrocious that was? I couldn’t sleep for days, just… Just thinking about…"
This time, it was Ajax’s time to look terribly saddened.
"Seeing the state you're in, I can only guess what you went through. I'm sorry, Zhongli. I really am. So, so sorry. It's just that I had to escape that really powerful dragon guy so I could return to you! He knocked me out in just one strike, can you imagine? I mean, he was not as strong as you, of course, but I was no match for him! And escaping from the Fortress of Meropide was a real hassle, I can tell you that. Not that it excuses how awful I must have made you feel. I should have been more careful, I admit it. Will you forgive me?"
As he asked that question, he caressed Zhongli's cheek and looked at him tenderly. The consultant could not help but be endeared by his endless blabbering, but his fear of losing him wasn’t entirely gone.
"I'd do anything, so long as it allows me to stay by your side. Just... do not leave me again. Please. As strong as I might be, this would be too much for me to endure."
"I won't. You see, I have good news for you. Because of my little stunt, I have no choice but to lay low for a long, long while, so the Tsaritsa has stationed me in Liyue indefinitely. We'll be together, like we've always wanted."
"That... that is amazing news indeed. Just... do not take it the wrong way if I act a bit overprotectively toward you in the near future, especially if you engage in combat or any other dangerous activity. You had me so scared..."
Zhongli trembled again, crying silently, and Childe stroke his hair soothingly, which helped him calm down. Oh, how he had missed his touch...
"It’s okay, I won’t mind. Just… Is it too soon for me to thank you for the fake death idea? Because if you hadn’t fooled me with the Exuvia, I never would have thought of it, you know. In a way, you protected me even when I was in Fontaine."
"Remind me not to give you any more ideas like this one..." Zhongli grumbled, although, in truth, he was starting to melt in Ajax's arms. "Also, you'll be the one explaining to Director Hu why she'll have to cancel the thoughtful funerals she started preparing for you."
Speaking of Hu Tao, she was done dealing with an unwilling and reluctant client. Upon returning to Zhongli’s side, she noticed Childe's presence. Once she went past her initial surprise, she glared at the Harbinger a bit menacingly. Zhongli could already tell, just from the scowl on her face, that she would not grant him her pardon as easily as he had.
"So, the rumors are true in the harbor are true. There he is." She declared, putting her hands on her hips in a dramatic gesture. "The man who had no qualms putting my favorite employee through the worst time of his life. This requires a consequent compensation, don’t you think?"
Childe immediately raised his hands in surrender, quite obviously unwilling to fight her. He didn't even try to argue about how he meant to inform Zhongli and reassure him through the unopened letter, giving in to her implied demand right off the bat.
"All right, I'll pay for my fake funeral ceremony to take place, and I'm sure the Fatui could use a few spare coffins."
Zhongli expected Director Hu to squeal in glee, but she narrowed her eyes instead.
"And you'll make it up to my esteemed consultant, since you gave him quite the trouble."
Childe rubbed the back of his head awkwardly, unnerved by her constant staring. As for Zhongli, he never would have thought Hu Tao could manage such an intimidating look.
"Of course, of course. I have brought him several gifts from Fontaine already, and I fully intend to treat him to some Liyue's delicacies, then we'll go for a walk or we’ll do some shopping, depending on whatever he prefers, and..."
"Perfect! Zhongli, you're dismissed from work for today, enjoy your date! As for you, Fatui boy, don't break his heart again, or the next funeral rite I prepare for you might not be a fake one!"
Zhongli had heard his share of ominous threats in his lifetime, but none had been spoken in such a happy-go-lucky tone. Before Childe could react, Hu Tao was already gone, leaving them alone.
"Damn, it must have been really hard on you for her to be so mad at me. I know I said it already, but I'm sorry, Zhongli, I..."
"It is fine. You did everything you could to avoid this very situation. It would be fruitless of me to blame you. All I want now is to spend time with you. Would you please indulge me?"
With a gentle smile, Ajax grabbed Zhongli's hand and intertwined their fingers together. It was enough to have the former Archon’s heart accelerating tenfold.
"Of course, Xiansheng. I'll give you anything you want. Now, let's enjoy this date, shall we?"
His offer brought a fond, genuine smile to Zhongli's lips.
"We shall indeed."