Chapter Text
"I remember."
Starscream shook, a sound of rattling metal the only giveaway to the struggle he tried not to entertain.
It wasn't missed by Optimus. Over the past weeks spent around an open and honest Starscream, Optimus had quickly taken to be sensitive to certain things such as that. He used to think Starscream only ever shook out of rage or during the mocking laughter sent across the battlefield, but that was wrong. Starscream never shook when he was angry or in good humor, he shook only when he was afraid. Of what it was precisely, Optimus couldn't tell, but something about the way the seeker's digits were curling into fists caused Optimus' spark to drop. "What now?"
A beat.
"...Now, I leave."
With that, Starscream took a few steps, powering up his jets in preparation for flight. He made to jump into the air, but the movement was halted by Optimus' servo holding on to his fist. Without a moment's hesitation, Starscream whirled on Optimus to reveal the tears in his optics. "You said that I could leave. I'm leaving!"
This was all true, and Optimus had meant those words. It just hurt a lot more than he thought it would. "No power Megatron can offer you is worth the treatment that brought you here, Starscream."
"I've seen how you Autofools work. I would have even less power and worse treatment from you grounders. Besides," How much of a lie that was practically bled into every part of Starscream, too vulnerable still to put up his usually so well-maintained walls of deceit. "..you and your soft-sparked underlings have no idea what I've been through to get my position."
That shut Optimus up for a moment, but his hold did not waver when he began to speak again in hushed tones, subconsciously twitching his finials to adjust as soon as his piece could be uttered. "I don't think you are beyond redemption. I don't know what you've been through, but if you stay, I will listen to your side of the story."
Every action Starscream took while freed of his oppressive past presented to Optimus an intelligent and borderline friendly mech whose moral compass functioned perfectly well. There couldn't possibly be such a drastic change between Starscream's nature before versus now, without significantly impactful experiences that beat him down into the infamously cruel and cowardly Starscream that Optimus found his team fighting on a near daily basis.
Optimus vented, fans running on high as desperation unlocked within himself. Starscream joining the Autobots would change everything about the way the Autobots responded to Decepticons as a whole. He represented a peaceful solution. Trying not to overstep, Optimus let his grip on Starscream slacken and fall away, solemnly giving the flight frame some space to consider.
Starscream, unable to keep himself from focusing in on the striking loss of the the contact, being the one thing that had actually been keeping him relaxed, avoided Optimus' gaze in favor of blankly glaring at the space between them and cradling the servo that Optimus had touched, mimicking the feeling. "Will everything fall into place and structural problems fly away if you coat this divide in political smoke and mirrors, as all the Primes before you have? Megatron won't stop even on the off-chance you convince me of your sincere dedication to a fair system. He will never leave this up to someone else again."
"You're right, he won't. It took me a million deca-cycles to accept that Megatron will never see reason. Have you become so tolerant of his manipulation that you would stand by his methods, still?" Optimus throwing it back like this left Starscream unsteady, but he didn't relent. "Don't make the same mistake I did. If Megatron wasn't giving the orders, would you uphold and perpetuate this war as he has? This isn't about what Megatron will do, it's about what we will do."
Starscream couldn't believe what Optimus was alluding to. Never had anyone been on his side in this way, so his processor ran in circles trying to understand, to see the catch. A hollow, quiet noise escaped out of shock when Optimus cradled his helm.
"Starscream. Consider what we've discussed." With that, Optimus opened up a connection to Starscream, presenting a personal communication link.
Tentatively, Starscream pushed his faceplate further into the base of Optimus' servo, reaching up to hold him there upon his helm in reverence. To be completely sure they were talking about the same thing, Starscream breathed out his goal, so quietly that Optimus would not have known what he said had his gaze not already been locked on Starscream's intake. "This is a direct channel-.... You're seriously going to risk me leaking this to Megatron?"
Only then, when Starscream's bright red optics finally narrowed in on him for confirmation, did Optimus come to understand how big this was. This could mean the end of the war, a return to Cybertron, the rebuilding of everyone's lives, and it all hung upon the unlikely pair of himself and Starscream. If used against him, the link would corrupt and Optimus would become unable to communicate with anyone from great distances.
Optimus nodded, unable to pull himself away from the carefulness of their quiet discussion. "I believe you're more valuable than you think. Use this to contact me if you ever need help. You're not alone."
Starscream took a step back, scanning Optimus for any vague sign of duplicity and finding nothing. No amount of adjustment to his optics was going to tell him that Optimus didn't mean every word he said. Honest to a fault, Starscream thought. It was idiotic to even consider joining the Autobots, of that much Starscream was certain. However, he could certainly see why Optimus Prime held such a large cult of followers. Something about the way he spoke, and the genuine care he gave away so freely felt like something akin to safety.
All the same, Starscream wasn't about to be seduced into that ridiculous band of supposed do-gooders by pretty words from a pretty mech. Steeling himself, he kept as closed-off as he could manage. "I'm still leaving."
The heartbreak on Optimus' faceplate was plain to see, but Starscream didn't stick around to see it for long. With a quick turn and a short running start, Starscream jumped into the air and transformed into jet mode, flying off as quickly as he could manage.