Chapter Text
Ever since the Lords in Black (and the newly dubbed ‘Lord in White’) had agreed to settle peacefully on Earth, all five brothers had been so happy. They’d picked up hobbies and expanded upon their previous interests. Webby had encouraged her brothers to enjoy everything that humanity had to offer, and in the case of some brothers this was innocent enough, but then there was Wiggly.
The oldest Lord had spent so long lecturing patrons of the aquarium that he’d been offered a job there, leading tour groups to look at various tanks whilst he lectured to his heart’s content. The god accepted instantly, even if it was minimum wage (he’d been declined from numerous universities where he’d wanted to teach Marine Biology because he apparently didn’t ‘have a degree or any relevant qualifications’). The aquarium almost immediately regretted their decision.
You see, Wiggly had an unfortunate habit of beating up people who annoyed him… he did not thrive in customer service. The aquarium’s security guard was getting aches and pains from the hundreds of times he’d had to forcibly tug Wiggly - sorry, Will - away from guests who’d complained about the tour or done other relatively annoying things such as being on their phones or cutting in line. Will had a new found interest in preserving fairness and justice - he’d been taking his little sister’s impassioned pleas for him to see reason to heart - so he saw himself as a sort of Batman figure. Many abusive parents and partners soon found themselves at the business end of Wiggog Y’Wrath’s fists (he always wore spiky metals rings when he planned to punch someone, just to make it that much more painful).
The cephalopod god was also working on his bonds with his younger siblings. He and Pokey had engaged in three conversations on friendly terms without screaming at each other. He’d given Tinky a set of spy cameras so he could watch Ted and Peter wherever the two brothers were (this was a big step for Will because he had previously refrained from giving his chaotic middle-child brother gifts). Every second Monday, he’d watch MasterChef and The Great British Bake-off with Blinky - they enjoyed yelling at the contestants at their failed baking because “I’ve never seen such a sloppily applied fondant, Dorothy! To the deepest pits of torture in the Black with you!” Nibbly had baked him a very nice cake which Will even ate in front of him, displaying gratitude for the first time in forever. As for Wiggly’s relationship with Webby, well…
They liked watching movies together, cuddled up on the couch together, not even speaking, just soaking up each other’s company. They liked reading to each other, often lulled to sleep by the sound of the other’s voice. They liked leaving each other little trinkets from whenever they’d been exploring Hatchetfield - Webby had found a pretty piece of sea glass that was the same green as Wiggly’s eyes and reflected the sun if you held it to the light. She’d said that it reminded her of him, not just the colour, but because like the glass, she knew her brother contained so much light.
They’d call each other if they couldn’t see each other in person, spending hours rambling to each other about their day. Webby spoke of Hannah, and Nibbly’s attempts to break various food related world records, whilst Wiggly would gush about the cutest little baby squid that had been born at the aquarium, or the plot twist in a book he’d read, or how he could finally solve riddles now. It was simple, easy, peaceful. Wiggly couldn’t understand why he’d ever pushed his baby sister away, she was his best friend, truly.
In a bizarre twist of fate, Wiggly was somewhat of a hero and local legend for the young people of Hatchetfield due to his good deeds against evil doers (Pamela Foster was still nursing a concussion) as well as his love of Splatoon. The god dominated every Splatfest and would engage anybody he saw with a Nintendo Switch or some form of Splatoon merchandise in a conversation about their favourite character and the extensive lore. Despite being a little eccentric, people found him fun, and good to talk to. He was also great with kids and exceptional at baby-talk (“What do you mean, fwendy-wend? This is just how I talk…”)
And so, the once most feared King of the Lords in Black found himself living a happy life, with the fame and respect he’d longed for, albeit not in the way he’d planned to gain it. He was content, and he was loved, and that was all that mattered.