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Ace, I'm meeting Luffy today. It's been months since I saw him. I can't wait! He's so close to the One Piece now – I can feel it! He'll be meeting Shanks soon to return that hat. I think it might be fun to take Luffy for a drink. He's such a great pirate but he's not much of a drinker at all. I've heard the rumours about Shanks – Luffy is going to be destroyed if Shanks forces him to drink. Ha! Can't let that happen can we, Ace? So I gotta do my big brother duties and make sure Luffy is prepared to handle himself! It's gonna be so much fun. I really wish you were here with us, Ace. But you don't need to worry about Luffy. I'll look after him and make sure he has fun. I'll tell you all about it later. Love you, brother.
Sabo smiled at the picture in his hands; a cut out of the photo from Ace's wanted poster that he always kept in his pocket.
He met the Sunny at the rendezvous point – and from there he guided Luffy through the bustling town to a bar he'd picked out for the occasion. Along the way, they told one another stories in between looking up at the different buildings. The island was amicable to pirates and outlaws so long as they didn't cause trouble – and it was refreshing to be able to relax in the open.
As they reached the bar, however, Luffy suddenly paused. He stopped – mid-bite through a meat skewer that Sabo had purchased for him en route. He looked up – and Sabo could tell he had sensed something. Something that made him grin from ear to ear.
“Shishishi! I didn't know our routes converged here... He never told me. Sabo, wait a moment!” Luffy shoved the kebab whole into his mouth, spat out the skewer and then ran down the street. He skidded around a corner.
“Luffy! Sabo started after him, but Luffy was suddenly back, with a dark-haired guy thrown forwards over his shoulder while he carried a white furry hat with spots in his other hand. The guy was much too tall for Luffy to be carrying.
“Mugiwara-ya!” the guy snapped. “I. Am. Going. To. Kill. Yo-”
“He's joining us!” Luffy declared.
“No I'm not!” the other man grunted. “Put me down!”
Sabo laughed. “Trafalgar Law, huh?” He'd read everything he could find about this guy as soon as news of the alliance broke. At first, it had seemed an odd match for Luffy. In all the newspaper reports, Law was portrayed as cruel and ruthless. But the Revolutionary Army had other sources of information. Which told a different story. Sabo smiled. “Your friend?”
“Yep!” said Luffy. “This is Torao.”
“We're not friends!” said Law.
Luffy beamed at Sabo, as if he was showing him the best thing in the world.
Sabo chuckled. “Sure, why not?”
Sabo set down a tray of six beers on the table. They'd chosen a semi-circular booth in the back corner of the room. Sabo and Law had sat at opposite ends, while Luffy plonked himself happily in the middle. Law's arms were folded and he had pulled his hat so far down his head that the brim covered his eyes.
“We are starting with the beers and then we're moving onto shots. And then onto sake!” Sabo announced. Because after checking the cost of the sake he'd decided that he needed to be slightly inebriated before he'd even consider paying those prices.
Law sighed as he tilted his head up to stare at the ceiling. “Not that I'm really interested, but you seem like a cheapskate for not buying the decent stuff first.”
Smart ass.
Sabo laughed. “Nothing gets past you! But good things come to those who wait. Show me you two can cope and then I'll buy the good stuff.”
“Whatever.”
Luffy laughed at the exchange. Sabo scratched his head as he looked between the two of them. Reports claimed these two were very close affiliates. Sabo had thought the same when seeing how much Luffy had fussed over an unconscious Law in Dressrosa. And a witness had reported hearing that Law was willing to die alongside Luffy if necessary. But just...
How? How did these two fit together?
Luffy – with a smile like the sun.
And Law – a frosty frown straight from an eternal winter.
Sabo supposed it said something that Law hadn't escaped the second Luffy had put him down. He sighed. “Luffy, your friend is a very different type of person to who you normally get along with.”
“I get along well with lots of people,” said Luffy.
“We're not friends,” said Law.
“Torao, don't be like that. We haven't seen each other in ages! Let's celebrate!” Luffy wrapped a rubbery arm around the taller man and laughed as he patted his shoulder.
Law grimaced – his irritated 'tch' sounding somewhat like a hissing cat. “This is a brotherly reunion, Mugiwara-ya. It's not the kind of thing you drag your enemy to.”
“We're not enemies.”
“Yes we are.”
“You don't get to decide that.”
“Yes I do!”
“Hancock says she's going to marry me but she doesn't get to decide that. So you don't get to decide that we're enemies.”
Law looked up and finally Sabo caught sight of his grey eyes as they widened in between blinking. He looked funny when he was surprised. “What do those two things have to do with each other? You aren't making any sense! As usual.”
Sabo stared. “Marry?! Whoah whoah, Luffy! Hancock said that? That's huge!”
“Yep. I like her, but I don't want to marry her.”
So straightforward. So Luffy. Sabo laughed. “She's meant to be beautiful. Every man would envy you.”
Not that Luffy really cared about things like that.
“She's just a friend,” said Luffy. “She's nice to me. But I'm not marrying her. Torao is really cool person so I'm glad the two of you get to meet like this.”
“I'm going to leave you two to catch up about your love life-” Law started to untangle Luffy's arm but Luffy stretched it around him.
“Torao! Wait! Stay!”
That tone in Luffy's voice... almost a whine. And the smile on his lips wavered as Law unravelled the arm and started to stand. Poor Luffy. He loved making friends – and he was very good at it. Usually. But making friends with Law seemed a bit like trying to hold an unstable porcupine.
If Luffy wanted Law to stay, then it was Sabo's duty as the big brother to help him get what he wanted. It was also to his benefit to help Luffy out here. Law was known to be an incredibly powerful pirate – heck, Dragon was keeping an eye on Law too and had commented on his strategic thinking after reading reports. He would be a valuable ally for Luffy. And Sabo needed Luffy to have good allies so that he knew he would be safe.
More importantly, Law possibly would have some really funny stories to tell about his time with Luffy. So it was fully in Sabo's interests to keep Law here.
Sabo tapped his fingers against the surface of the table. “Worried Luffy will outdrink you, Trafalgar?”
Law glared at him as he sat back down. What a glare. Steely eyes hardening in psychopathic intensity.
Law grabbed the nearest tankard and then downed it.
“Oi! Don't start without us!” said Luffy, grabbing the next tankard and glugging hard to catch up with Law.
Ah, so the relationships is like that. Law must be one of those stubborn types that hates to lose or look vulnerable. Sabo grinned. This was going to be far, far too easy. And it would definitely lead to stories to tell Ace's photo later.
All right, Traflagar, let's see how long that steely attitude lasts with some social lubricant! My brother wants you as a friend and I like seeing Luffy get what he wants!
Luffy and Law slammed their glasses simultaneously on the table, with Law staring pointedly at Sabo. Sabo didn't doubt that he could get Luffy dancing with chopsticks up his nose by the end of the evening. But if Law were to join him then Luffy would be over the moon. And it would be fucking hilarious to see this smug guy lose it.
“Wonderful!” Sabo laughed. “I'm impressed! So here's what we're going to do. Let's see who can drink the most before passing out!”
“Drinking that much is a stupid idea,” said Law. “We've got bounties on our heads.”
“There's no marines on this island,” said Sabo as he started drinking his own beer. “I'm a revolutionary, Luffy is an emperor, and you're a renowned pirate and ex-warlord. Both of your crews are nearby. No one is going to touch us. By the time they got any of us to a marine outpost to claim a bounty, we'd be awake and kicking their asses.”
“Torao always worries too much,” said Luffy.
Law grabbed a second beer. “Just remember that I am not treating your hangover in the morning, Mr Emperor.”
“Are you still being a sourgrapes over the emperor thing?” said Luffy. “It doesn't change anything between us.”
“I am not annoyed by that!”
He was so annoyed by that.
“I want you to be an emperor too. You're so much better than that idiot, Buggy! You're way stronger than him! Sabo, Torao is awesome! He took down Big Mom. And his brain is huge. He saved my life in Marineford. He has a submarine. And a bear. And his ability is super weird but cool.”
Sabo smiled. So they were friends because Luffy genuinely admired him. And when Luffy wanted to be friends with someone the other person didn't get a say in the matter.
“He's also got tattoos,” Luffy continued. “Look.” He leaned over, grabbed Law's shirt and lifted it up.
“Oh, all over the chest too?” said Sabo. “A very artistic design.”
“Right? He should show them off more.”
“Get off!” Law slapped the hand away and dragged his shirt back down. “And don't think flattery makes up for all the crazy stuff you have done, Mugiwara-ya, and all the trouble you have caused me!”
Sabo chuckled as Luffy laughed loudly. “Luffy, sounds like you're in Trafalgar's debt.”
“I don't believe in debts,” said Luffy. “People should just help each other because they feel like it. Torao, you don't believe in debts either.”
“Actually, I do, Mugiwara-ya.”
“If you did, you'd claim a debt for saving me in Marineford. You never asked for anything.”
“Saying you've been waiting for me to call in the favour?”
“I don't mind helping you any time. That's what friends do.”
“Tch...” That hissing cat noise again as Law rolled his eyes. He leaned his elbow on the table and his chin into his propped up hand. But now that Sabo took a good look at him – despite the grimace – he didn't look uncomfortable sitting beside Luffy. Someone like Luffy would probably be good for an uptight guy like this.
“All right – beer is done!” said Luffy.
“Wait...” Sabo stared at the two empty tankards in front of Luffy. “When did you drink your second one?”
Law quickly downed the rest of his and then slammed the tankard on the table. He stared at Sabo. “You are one and a half beers behind. Chop chop.”
“I see you live up to your ruthless reputation,” Sabo muttered.
“What's next? What's next?” said Luffy as he wriggled back and forth in his seat. “Sake? Shanks loves sake! I don't know anything about sake.”
“Nope. Not yet.” Sabo was still not even close to being drunk enough for those prices.
“Cheapskate,” said Law.
“Luffy, go get shots.” The sooner Law got drunk the sooner Sabo could feel smug about it.
Luffy tilted his head in confusion. “Get shot?”
Law sighed. “Shots, you idiot. A small measure of a straight spirit. Which means it's very strong.”
“Oh right! I'll go ask the guy on the bar!” Luffy scrabbled to his feet eagerly as he vaulted over the table – narrowly missing the tankards.
“Tell him to put it on the tab, Luffy,” Sabo called after him.
He was left alone with Law. Law sat back in his seat with one leg crossed over the other and his arms folded. He stared towards the bar where Luffy was, but then his eyes drifted to a table nearby where a dark haired guy was getting a vibrant lap dance from... another dark haired guy.
Sabo raised an eyebrow. “Didn't know it was that kind of bar.”
“It's not that unusual,” said Law. “Particularly in towns frequented by pirates.”
Some islands had very strict rules around this kind of thing. Pirates, however, had no rules – a lifestyle that attracted all kinds of different folks.
“That's one heck of a dance,” said Sabo.
“Jealous?”
Sabo laughed playfully. “Why? Gonna offer to give me a lap dance?”
“I don't like blonds.”
“Shame. I like tattoos.” Sabo laughed again. Law didn't and Sabo's grin faded quickly. He wasn't sure if anyone except Luffy had the stamina for this guy. “Come on, Trafalgar. Throw me a bone. I'm just being friendly. I need to get you laughing and talking with me because I know you probably have some insane stories involving Luffy and I really, really want to hear them. I've missed out on a lot of his life.”
Law sighed and that icy look cracked very, very slightly. “He is insane. And I'm not sure I can tell the stories without going insane myself.”
“I know he's hard work and I'm grateful to everything people do for him. I worried about him when I found out about Ace. I'm glad he has a good crew and...” Sabo paused. The word 'friends' always put Law into defensive porcupine mode so he settled with “good acquaintances.” He raised his tankard at Law. “And as men living crazy lives, it's nice when we can just enjoy moments like this, right? A few friendly drinks. Even if we've started with the cheap stuff.”
A slight smile; very slight, but it was something. “I guess.”
“Here we go!” Luffy reappeared and planted a tray down.
Sabo stared at the rainbow coloured shots. Dozens of them. “Luffy... did you buy one of everything?”
“They're only small so I thought more is better.”
Law covered his face with his hand. “How after all this time can you still surprise me with how stupid you are? This is suicide! You'll die of alcohol poisoning!”
“You're a doctor so you can fix us!” Luffy grabbed the nearest two glasses and shoved both of them in his mouth. He swallowed and then his mouth gaped. He grimaced as he clutched his throat dramatically. “Oh they are disgusting...”
“Amateur.” Law sighed. Neatly and confidently he downed one shot followed by the second. He smacked his lips slightly at the end. “See? That's how it's done. Meanwhile, your big brother still hasn't even finished a single drink.”
“Well, you two are formidable.” Sabo set to work chugging the first tankard, but he was going to take it much slower than these two – so that he'd be able to recite the details to Ace later.
Luffy picked up another shot – a bright purple coloured one. He swilled it around the glass as he eyed it like it was an enemy. “But these are nasty. What's the point?”
“Some people find them fun,” said Sabo. “They are used in games a lot too.”
“I like games!” said Luffy.
Sabo finished his first beer and then he leaned across the table towards Luffy. He placed his elbow on the wooden surface and then waggled his fingers invitingly. “Let's try this. Whoever loses the arm wrestle takes one shot. Law can fight the winner.”
“This is dumb,” said Law. He leaned back in his seat with his elbows behind his head, but his eyes seemed to have no intention of not watching the game.
“I'm gonna win,” said Luffy as he got his arm into position and gripped Sabo's hand. “But one shot doesn't seem like much.”
“Two then,” said Sabo. “But you might regret it! They are strong!”
“Shishishi! Nah! No regrets!”
It started. And Luffy's strength had grown a lot. Sabo squeezed hard as he pushed against Luffy. They'd arm wrestled a lot as kids. Luffy never won. Never came close to winning.
Sabo laughed. “I'm impressed, Luffy! But... I've had special training...”
Sabo started to force Luffy's hand down to the table. He winked at Luffy, but then he felt his younger brother flex his arm and suddenly Sabo was on the defensive as Luffy slowly levered Sabo's arm down. Sabo gritted his teeth. He could feel the sweat beading on his face. He could hear Ace laughing so hard in his head.
Luffy was huffing with the effort too. His face had turned almost purple. Sabo growled as he tried to push the hand back. Luffy growled back at him. And then the back of Sabo's hand hit the table. He gasped for breath as Luffy threw his arms into the air. “I won, I won, I won!”
Sabo had to rest his head against the table. “We should try with Haki next time. I'll crush you.”
“Probably crush a few bones with Haki too,” said Law dryly. “But it would be an interesting show to watch.”
“Me and Torao next!”
Sabo looked up quickly. He didn't want to miss this. Pirates with two of the highest bounties in the world...
But Law looked pretty gangly. Sure, the guy had toned arms – really toned arms. But Sabo got the feeling he was more of a brains-over-brawn sort-of guy.
Luffy beamed as he pointed his arm to Law. Sabo didn't expect Law to agree, but the older man flexed his fingers and then leaned his elbow on the table. His and Luffy's hands gripped together tightly.
Sabo waited as the two of them eyed one another.
And waited.
“What's wrong? Are you starting?” Sabo asked, as the silence stretched on.
“Huh? Oh yeah...” said Luffy. “Torao's hands are just warm...” His fingers squeezed Law's hand. “Let's go!”
Sabo raised his hand. “If Law wins, I'll take six shots and then do a handstand.”
Law glared at him. “What is that supposed to mea-”
Luffy slammed Law's hand to the table instantly. Law stared. His mouth formed a small 'o' and his eyes went wide.
Sabo burst out laughing.
“I was not ready for that! I didn't even know we were starting!” Law hissed.
“Excuses!” said Sabo.
“Aw, I wanted to see Sabo do a handstand,” said Luffy.
“I wasn't ready! Rematch!” said Law.
“Take your shots first!” said Sabo. “I take two for losing and so do you.”
Law grabbed his shots – seeming determined to down them as fast as he could and then he was reaching towards Luffy and both of their arms were in the wrestling position – except that their fingers interlocked instead.
“Come on guys, you've not had enough to mess this up yet,” said Sabo in between his own shots. “You know it doesn't work like that.”
“Why can't we do it like this?” said Luffy
“It doesn't work. You're thinking of the game 'mercy,' where you lock your fingers together and then squeeze and twist until one of you squeals.”
“Oh? Oh OK! Let's do that one!”
“Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!” Law's face went gray as soon as Luffy squeezed.
“Shishishi! Sorry!” said Luffy. “Are you all right, Torao?” He seemed to stop squeezing but he didn't let go of Law's hand.
“How is that fair? I've got real bones in my fingers and wrist and yours are made of rubber! You're always going to win that!” said Law.
“Whatever – take two shots,” said Sabo.
“I'm the winner!” said Luffy. He quickly grabbed two shots with one hand and gulped them down. His other hand didn't let go of Law's.
“Luffy... it's supposed to be the loser who takes the shots...” said Sabo.
“Eh? Then what does the winner win? Torao! You gotta give me something for winning!”
Law took his two shots – one handed; the other hand kept hold of Luffy's. “What do you want? A lap dance?”
“Sure.”
Sabo was so busy scrutinising their clasped hands while taking a shot of his own that he almost didn't hear them. Almost. He ended up choking on the alcohol.
“Room. Shambles.”
The burning liquid disappeared out of Sabo's windpipe. He coughed. “What the...?”
“You're welcome,” said Law. “You owe me now for saving you. I rather like the idea of having the Revolutionary Army in my debt.”
Sabo pressed a hand to his throat. “It's your fault I choked in the first place,” he muttered to himself.
Luffy didn't know what a lap dance was did he?
Did he?
He didn't... right?
Even if he did, he wasn't serious?
Was he?
Wait...
Why are they still holding hands?!
“See! Torao's ability is awesome!” said Luffy, as if he'd forgotten what he'd said before. “Wossa next game? Let's do a singing game!”
“Please no,” said Sabo. “I draw the line at singing.”
“Let's not,” agreed Law. “I've got another idea. A quieter idea.”
Their hands unlaced as Law pulled a coin from his pocket, but Sabo didn't miss the shine in Luffy's eyes as he leaned eagerly forward to see what game Law had in mind. Law held the coin up for Luffy to see and then he flipped it, catching it in his hand and covering it with his other before Luffy could see what it was. “Mugiwarara-ya – heads or tails?”
“Tails!”
Law grinned smugly. “Wrong. It's heads.”
“Liar!” Luffy grabbed Law's hand to peel it back. He stared at the symbol and then he grabbed the coin. “Hey! It's heads on both sides! That's cheating!”
“Is it?” Law peered at the coin that Luffy held.
When had these two moved so close to one another? Luffy had somehow scooted right up next to Law without Sabo noticing. They looked very comfortable like that.
Very comfortable.
And as if they had totally forgotten Sabo was here. Sabo looked back and forth between them. Law's prickles were down; his face relaxed and even the occasional smile. That was Luffy's magic of course; he could put anyone at ease. But Luffy seemed very happy to have Law at ease beside him.
Ace... I thought Luffy wanted to be friends with this guy but that might have been an understatement.
“A double-headed coin is rare,” said Law. “I need to keep that one. Give it back.”
Luffy closed his hand about the coin before Law could take it. “No-pe!”
A big understatement...
“Mugiwara-ya!”
“Fight me for it! Rock paper scissors! One, two, three, go!”
Ace, the day has finally come. Luffy's grown up. I just didn't anticipate him wanting to flirt with a guy with 'death' tattooed on his fingers...
Luffy held out his hand as a fist. Law held his palm out as paper. They both stared for several seconds as their brains sought to catch up. And then Law smiled as he wrapped his hand around Luffy's fist.
“My victory!” said Law. He didn't move his hand. “Now gimme.”
“You won so you gotta drink,” said Luffy.
“OK, but you lost tails to heads so you have to drink.”
“Wait that's not how it works...” said Sabo.
They ignored him as they eyed one another. They took the shots simultaneously – both one-handed since Law's hand was still closed about Luffy's. They both grimaced. Law plonked the shot glass down on the table and then held his hand out at Luffy palm-side up. “Coin,” he demanded.
“You collect them right?”
“Yeah.”
“You and Nami must be enemies coz she spends all the coins.” Luffy tossed the coin into the air and then caught it. “Heads or tails?”
“It's heads, Mugiwara-ya. On both sides.”
“Nope.” Luffy lifted his hand and grinned. It was tails.
Law stared. “W-w-what?”
“Shishishi! It's a magic trick! Ace taught me!”
Law grabbed Luffy's hand, checking it all over as if he expected to find the other coin stuck there. “Where's my coin gone you bastard?!”
“Dunno.”
“Oi! It might be valuable! What have you done with it?” Law grabbed Luffy's collar while Luffy laughed. Luffy grabbed hold of Law's arms and then the pair were suddenly falling sideways and wrestling in the booth like a pair of teenagers determined not to waste any opportunity that would allow them to get their hands all over one another.
Sabo sat rigidly in shock as he downed the beer he'd never managed to finish. Ace... I'm all for Luffy having a special person but this is moving a little fast.
Law suddenly shrieked.
That guy fucking shrieked!
Luffy had started tickling him.
The bar was staring. Luffy was giggling hysterically.
“I'm going to fucking kill you, LUFFY-YA!” Law screeched as he tried to tie Luffy's arms together in a knot but Luffy simply stretched his fingers out and had Law shrieking a second time in between profanities.
Sabo took a shot.
Ace, I am so far over my head the only option I have left is to drink myself into a stupor. Our brother is hitting on a notorious criminal and I've got a front row seat that I really don't want.
Maybe Sabo needed to find a quiet time at some point to chat with Luffy about his bad flirting techniques though. As he thought that, however, he swore he could hear Ace's voice laughing at him. Oh really, Sabo? And how many times have you successfully flirted with anyone?
And there was no denying that Luffy had successfully turned his apparent crush into putty. Putty that sounded as if it was going to hyperventilate.
“Are you dead?” Luffy asked, as he finally relinquished his attack.
“Fuck you,” said Law breathlessly. “And fuck your brother for not putting a stop to this.”
“You're blaming me?!” said Sabo. “I think I am blameless in all of this!”
“Yes. I expect you to not let your brother assault people.”
“I just thought a big strong pirate like you would be able to cope with a bit of playfighting.”
“Fuck off.”
“All right, all right!” Luffy sat up grinning ear to ear. His cheeks were a little bit pink? Cute. Sort of. (Making Sabo feel like a third wheel? Not cute). His straw hat had slid down the back of his neck and his hair was in all directions. He pulled a coin from his pocket and placed it on the table. “You can have it, Torao, but you gotta give me something in exchange.”
“What do you want?” said Law. He was still lying on the seat. His hat had fallen off and he'd pulled his knees to his chest – and frankly his voice had been left sounding a bit pathetic.
Congratulations on your kill, Luffy.
No one resisted his brother. But perhaps talking to Luffy about consent might not be a bad thing.
“How about you give me that lap dance?” said Luffy.
Sabo choked on the last mouthful of beer. Luffy! Please not while I'm here! Spare me that at least!
Law groaned. “Seriously?”
“Sure. Looks like fun.”
“I don't do that sort of thing.”
Luffy pouted. “Zoro said you gave a guy a dance in Wano.”
Law's mouth gawped. He sat up abruptly. “How... do... you... I... Zoro...” He closed his mouth and then he pointed at Luffy. “I went drinking with a beast pirate because I needed information out of him! It was a stealth mission! And it was humiliating!”
“You need information out of me too. About your coin.”
OK, that was pretty smooth for Luffy – Sabo had to admit.
“You already put it on the table.” Law sat up grabbed the coin and then turned it over. “Oh for the love of-”
It still wasn't the right coin.
Luffy was laughing loudly as Law's brow furrowed. “Coin. Now!” Law snapped.
“Or what?”
“Room. Scan. Shambles. Ha!” Law leaned back in his seat victoriously as he held his doubled-headed coin between his thumb and forefinger. He placed it carefully in a pocket.
Luffy pouted. “That's cheating! Take a shot for that! A really nasty one!”
“Fine! But you are falling behind since I've had way more than you!”
“Huh? So you're winning?” Luffy downed another three shots. “Not anymore!”
“The competition isn't who drinks the most, dumbass! It's who is consciousous for the longest!”
Frankly, getting one of these two unconscious sooner rather than later seemed like the best idea...
“If you passass out first, Torao, I'm going to draw on you.”
“Oh? And if you pass out first I'm going to strip you and tie ya to the mast of the Sunny.”
“Maybe I'll dothat to you too. And then I'll findout if you've tattooed 'death' on your dick.”
“And I'll tattoo my jolly roger on your dick.”
Actually no. They were better off not passing out.
Luffy banged his fist on the table as he leaned forward. “Oi, that's too far, Torao! You can't put anudder crew's jolly roger on that!”
“Don't worry, I'm a good doctor so I can soothe the sting for you.”
Trafalgar, you slut!
“I'll remememeber that next time I get hit there, Torao.”
Luffy, I love you but I do not love the images you are putting in my head.
“Planning to ask me for a massssage?”
Ace.
“Why? Do you give good ones?”
Help.
“Depends on the patient.”
Sabo could hear Ace laughing at him in his head. Ace wouldn't help Sabo in this situation. Ace would be cheering Luffy on. “Yeah – that's my little brother! He can get anyone he wants! Go get that smug tattooed manslut!”
“So, lap dance?” said Luffy.
“Wouldn't work very well. I'm too tall for yer lap,” said Law.
Thank god for that.
“Oh right. So...” Luffy suddenly jumped into Law's lap and slid his legs either side of him. “... it's better like this then?”
LUFFY!
“You're an idiot! Get off!”
“Nope!”
“Just because you're going to be the King of the Pirates doesn't mean you can do what you want all the time-” Law froze in horror as he suddenly seemed to realize the words that had come out of his mouth.
“Shishishi! You said it! You said it! You said I'm going to be the King of the Pirates! Of course I am! But I'm really happy to hear you say it, Torao!”
“No, no, no, no!” said Law. He waggled a finger in front of Luffy's face. “N-not what I meant! I am going to take the One Piece from under your laughing nose!”
“I'd like to fight you one day, but I'm pretty strong so I'd be worried about hurting you.”
“I'd kick your ass! Now get off!”
“Or what?” Luffy leaned forward and draped his arms around Law's neck. He was staring very intently at Law.
And Law was staring back.
“I will bite you to death if I have to,” said Law quietly.
“You wanna bite fight? I'm good with that.” Luffy pressed his mouth against Law's neck with a wet sound and sucked hard.
I DON'T WANT TO SEE THIS!
And Law like the fucking manslut he was only went and tilted his head back to give Luffy better access while moaning. He wrapped his arms around Luffy, pulling him closer. One hand slid up to Luffy's head where his fingers tangled in the dark hair.
ACE! WHAT DO I DO?
If it was Law trying to dominate Luffy then it would be no problem – burn the fucker to a crisp. But this was Luffy all over Law. Sabo couldn't intervene. Luffy would never forgive him. Luffy had been chipping away at Law's frosty attitude all evening and tickled him into submission to make him melt. Sabo suspected you didn't get many opportunities like that with the famed Surgeon of Death.
Luffy pulled his mouth back. There was a red mark on Law's neck. “Shishishi, you're gonna look like an idiot in the morning!”
“Not if I give you a bigger one!”
“Hey! I draw the line at this!” said Sabo. “I-I-I'm right here, you know!”
They were far too preoccupied to hear him. Law's mouth was on Luffy's neck while his hands played with his hair. And Luffy had the sloppiest, most sickening look on his face.
Sabo was never going to be able look at his little brother the same way again.
“What the fuck...” Law suddenly muttered. Luffy's neck was unmarked. Law pressed his mouth against him again while Luffy hummed happily.
“Why doesn't it mark?!” said Law. “Is it because of the rubber?”
“You're not doing it right,” said Luffy. He tilted his head enough so that he could bite Law's neck again. Only this time it seemed he went heavy on the teeth.
“Ow, ow! WAY too hard!” Law hissed.
“Don't be a crybaby! You like spots. So I'll just give you some red ones for your neck.”
“I am right here!” Sabo repeated. “Luffy! You never told me you two like like each other!”
“We don't,” said Law, as his hands fell to Luffy's waist.
“Really? Well I wonder what it could be about this evening that is giving me a totally different impression?!”
“Luffy, your brother is homophobic.”
“No I am not! I'm just shocked!”
“I am far more shocked than you. Trust me.”
“You don't fucking look it, Trafalgar! How long have you been crushing on Luffy?!”
Luffy laughed as he pressed his forehead against Law's. “Torao! Do you like like me?”
“You're drunk. Stop saying weird things.”
“I'm going to get reallally annoyed if you keep saying we're not frends.”
“You don't bite frends.”
“You can bite spechl frends. Have another shot and think about it.”
Law took the shot. Sabo really, really, really hoped he might just pass out, but no luck. Devil fruit users tended to have weird metabolisms so they could usually manage more alcohol than a normal human. Law did blink several times though as he licked his lips.
Luffy stared – unashamedly watching Law's mouth. “What did that one taste like... Law?”
“Wanna find out, Luffy?” Law said softly.
“No,” whined Sabo.
“Yes,” said Luffy.
Luffy crashed his mouth heavily against Law's and moaned. It could have been a chaste, cute little peck on the lips but no – this was full on mouths open, tongues, and drool sliding down one another's chins as if the two were half starved. Law fell backwards against the seat as Luffy wrapped his arms around him twice over.
“I need that sake.” Sabo stood and staggered to the bar. “Luffy... you could have just told me about this beforehand and we could have planned it,” he mumbled to himself. “I'd happily be your wingman. You didn't need to drop it on me with a display like that.”
He leaned heavily on the bar as he ordered a bottle of sake. The bartender stared for a moment before going to get the bottle – and then Sabo became aware of the atmosphere inside the tavern. Low, muttering voices.
“Is that Straw Hat Luffy and the Surgeon of Death?”
“Now there's a terrifying union.”
“Sorta hot though... you gotta admit.”
“The newspaper is going to have a field day with this one.”
“Get a photo!”
Sabo uncurled Ace's wanted poster from his pocket. “Ace!” he hissed quietly. “What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?”
He looked back at the booth where the makeout session was still in full swing. And then he thought back to Luffy's grins throughout the evening. He sighed. If Luffy wanted the Surgeon of Death then so be it. Sabo would leave that to Luffy, but he supposed the rest of this mess came into big brother duties.
He drank heavily from the sake bottle. “All right.” He snapped his fingers to grab the attention of the man nearby who was holding a camera. “Put that down right now because I don't wanna see this in the paper.” His hand turned into flames to emphasise his point. “And you...” He pointed at the bartender. “Get me a den den mushi. I need to make an SOS call pronto! I think it's time I got a little back up.”