Spoiled

by valkyrieshepard

Summary:

When Nie Mingjue destroys all of Nie Huaisang's fanciful things, the younger brother decides he'll end it all. Trying to starve himself finally kicks Nie Mingjue into gear to change his relationship with his brother. Though he never expected just how much it would change.

Notes:

We don't think too hard about timelines here, before the war I guess but Nie Huaisang is of age? Doesn't matter just enjoy hehehe. Includes an illustration by me ;)

"Da-ge, no, please stop!!"

 

 

Nie Huaisang's voice was almost hoarse from shouting, but he continued to do so in the most agonising way Nie Mingjue had ever heard. He was deaf to just how much agony and desperation were in those shouts, unable to see anything but the frivolous things his brother spent their sect's money on. All he could see was the softness of his body, in his cheeks, and his inability to even lift a sabre let alone swing one!

 

 

Rage had consumed Nie Mingjue once more.

 

 

And so he was still in the process of taking everything that didn't have to do with cultivating and honing his blade skill from Nie Huaisang's room to pile them all up outside. With a flick of his wrist, he had set fire to it all. Without mercy, without hesitation. He was sick of his brother's nonsense! And his crocodile tears!

 

 

"Da-ge, I never hurt you!," his brother sobbed. He was on his knees in front of him, thick tears rolling down his round cheeks. "Why? Why would you do this?"

 

 

"Do not pretend you do not know why!," Nie Mingjue raged. "Time and time again I've ordered you to train, yet you waste your time on shit like this!"

 

 

Nie Mingjue wasn't really like other sect leaders, but even he swore rarely. It made his brother flinch where he was kneeling.

 

 

"You are my brother, but you're a shame to the entire sect!"

 

 

"Why does it matter?!," Nie Huaisang blurted out. "I'm only your brother, that's right! Why can't I waste my time away, I won't ever lead the sect, and I don't want to!"

 

 

The smack's sound echoed through the courtyard, and Nie Huaisang fell over from the force of it. For a moment everyone in the courtyard froze, then very slowly his brother looked back up at him. With eyes wide, his tears had stopped but this … this expression… It finally got to Nie Mingjue. He had wanted to say something more. About being ungrateful, about not understanding the role he would have to play in the future. But it was all stuck in his throat.

 

 

He had expected Nie Huaisang to continue to argue with him. Beg for mercy or demand replacements, perhaps empty promises that he would fulfil his duties after all. But instead it was just that look of utter disappointment and hurt. Slowly, he pushed himself up, and then he turned to leave. It was Nie Mingjue who was left standing there, wanting to call out and stop him. He almost did.

 

 

But no. It couldn ’t continue this way. Perhaps this was what he had needed to finally wake up, to take things seriously. Even if that meant their brotherly bond would be forever broken. Nie Mingjue had always pushed down his emotions, and he did so now again, just so his own heart didn’t have to break.

 

 

He had never been in tune with his emotions anyway. It was much easier to busy himself with sect work or simply ignore everything and train until he felt himself close to exhaustion or another fit of rage. This kind of rage, it frightened him. That ’s why Nie Huaisang had to become better! His entire sect would one day have to rely on him.

 

 

And so he told his people: no mercy. No one was to sneak his brother any fanciful items. No one was to indulge him the way they had for many years, not if they wanted to keep their heads. With that, it grew quiet and Nie Mingjue was lost in training most days. Either by himself or with some of his disciples, none of which he deemed worthy to be an heir to this sect either.

 

 

Not when his little brother had so much potential that was currently being wasted.

 

 

At least a month had passed when Nie Huaisang ’s name was invoked in his presence again. But he couldn’t be sure that it hadn’t been longer.

 

 

“Sect Leader Nie,” one of the men who had made it longest as his assistant was Wei, who Nie Mingjue was able to tolerate. But he looked nervous and concerned. “I’ve news of young master Huaisang. He… he has stopped eating. We cannot convince him and his state it- it’s bad.

 

 

Hearing that, Nie Mingjue ’s head snapped up to look at him.

 

 

“Bad? How bad?,” he demanded.

 

 

“I’m afraid if… if he really continues to refuse he could very well die.”

 

 

“What?!” Nie Mingjue got up so abruptly that he knocked over the ink stone on his table, making it clatter all over it. “How did you let it get to that?! Fine- I’ll do it myself!”

 

 

Starving himself?! How could he be so dramatic?! All over some silly things that were meaningless anyway! Filled with rage all anew he grabbed a bowl of plain rice from the kitchen to shove it down his brother ’s throat if he had to!

 

 

That rage somewhat got stuck in his stomach when he did burst into Nie Huaisang ’s chambers. He had been ready to shout and drag him out of bed but seeing how dark it was in here… how it smelled of stale air and slightly of sweat, with his little brother curled up on his bed in a pathetic looking way - it all stopped. Now he was worried. Nie Huaisang wasn’t acting up, telling him how sick he was, no, he was completely still.

 

 

“Huaisang?,” he tried to sound demanding, but his voice was somewhat weak.

 

 

The little Huaisang ball on the bed did not move.

 

 

His steps were heavy on the wooden floor as he approached in a few strides and tossed the bowl of rice on the table by the bed - immediately regretting it. It almost tilted over completely, spilling some rice and making a hell of a lot of noise. But still, Nie Huaisang did not move. For a moment, Nie Mingjue ’s heart stopped and he rushed to the bed to roughly turn his brother onto his back.

 

 

Eyes open. Still alive.

 

 

“What the hell are you doing?!,” he blurted out, adrenaline coursing through his body. “Starving yourself?! Are you that intent on embarrassing me?”

 

 

Nie Huaisang let out a small sigh. Even that seemed to take quite a bit of his energy.

 

 

“Eat the rice. Now,” Nie Mingjue’s voice didn’t leave him any choice and yet his brother did not move.

 

 

“I refuse,” he said, voice so quiet he almost could not hear it.

 

 

“So you wish to kill yourself over a few fans and perfumes? Don’t be ridiculous!”

 

 

Nie Huaisang ’s reddened eyes finally met his.

 

 

“I wish to kill myself so I do not have to live with you anymore.”

 

 

Nie Mingjue was startled, almost dropped him with how venomous he sounded. If he had yelled he couldn ’t have sounded any worse, couldn’t have broken his heart the way those words did now. For a moment he didn’t know what to do or say, and it must have reflected on his face. His brother’s expression changed but he didn’t move or say anything else. Then he just looked away again.

 

 

“You can’t be serious!,” he finally blurted out though his voice was shaky. He grabbed the bowl of rice and shoved it to his face. “Eat! Huaisang, eat, now!”

 

 

Now he finally started to move, to struggle. Against him, against the rice being shoved in his face. But of course Nie Mingjue was so much stronger than his brother, especially now when he had not eaten in days. He ended up actually shoving that food into his mouth, but even then Nie Huaisang did not want to swallow. In their struggle, he started to choke.

 

 

And Nie Mingjue started to panic.

 

 

Despite what his brother may think of him at this moment, he was terrified of losing him. Some things could not be suppressed, and if he lost his brother his heart would die.

 

 

Frantically he manhandled him around, Nie Huaisang ’s chest to his back. At first he tried to smack his back, hoping he would cough out the rice but nothing happened. In a last ditch effort, because his brother’s movements were getting more sluggish, he basically hugged him from behind, pushing down on his stomach. For a few terrifying moments Nie Huaisang was completely quiet - then he coughed up bits of rice and sucked in a breath.

 

 

Nie Mingjue let out the one he had been holding, and let go of his brother who collapsed on the bed.

 

 

“Huaisang you- this is your fault,” he growled. “If you’d just eaten it-”

 

 

“Leave me alone,” Nie Huaisang said weakly. Tears rolled down his cheeks. Quiet ones. He looked pale, exhausted. “Please just leave me alone.”

 

 

“You know I can’t do that.”

 

 

“Why? Don’t act like you care.”

 

 

He had really done it. He had made his brother think that he did not care. Why could he not see that it was the exact opposite?

 

 

“Huai-”

 

 

“At least stop talking,” Nie Huaisang interrupted him. And so he did, because he was at a loss of words, and of actions. What could he do? Had he ruined things forever?

 

 

He just sat there, staring at his brother ’s back. Where he could see his spine poking through. Now that he saw him so skinny, he realised he didn’t want it anymore. He wanted his brother to be healthy, full… He’d rather see him soft as he was before than like this. There was a fear that had settled in his belly that made it hard to move, let alone think.

 

 

Hours seemed to pass by in the blink of an eye. Nie Huaisang did not move, he didn ’t take the blanket to cover himself, he didn’t clean anything. He let the servants who came clean up around him, but nothing more than that. The old bowl of rice was replaced with a new, fragrant one but still all they did was sit and lie in their positions, not moving a muscle. Nie Mingjue was picturing his life without his brother.

 

 

It hurt. It hurt more than he could have ever imagined. Never seeing that smile again. Never having him jump to grab his arm again. Never having his sweet little didi by his side … He would never be able to bear it. If a qi deviation did not kill him, then grief surely would.

 

 

The first light of the morning ’s sun illuminated the closed windows. Only a single ray managed to come through, painting a long line on the floor that Nie Mingjue crossed. He took that bowl of rice, and sat down on the bed, where it dipped from his weight and the much smaller brother slid a little closer to him. He reached out, hand hovering above him for a moment, then letting it rest on his brother’s thigh.

 

 

“I’m sorry,” came his raspy voice in the stillness of the room.

 

 

Nie Huaisang ’s form stiffened a little. This was the first time his big brother had ever uttered these words in front of him. Directed them to him.

 

 

“Huaisang, you win,” he continued. “I’ll bring those things back. Just please… eat something.”

 

 

Slowly he turned to look at Nie Mingjue. When he then reached out for his little brother he didn ’t pull away. Not yet anyway. He tried to be gentle, he really did. Pulling his precious little brother into his arms, taking a spoon to lift just a small bite of rice to his lips. For a moment Nie Huaisang hesitated and he worried he had still not gotten through again but then - he parted his lips.

 

 

As if a physical weight had shifted off his shoulders, Nie Mingjue shuddered a little as he watched his brother eat. His movements were slow, even the way he chewed. So he kept the portions on the spoon very small, just happy for every single kernel of rice he saw him eat. Never in his life had he felt this close to tears.

 

 

After about half the bowl, Nie Huaisang turned his head away and refused to continue. But that didn ’t matter to Nie Mingjue right now, he had achieved something this day.

 

 

“I’ll come back tomorrow morning,” he said softly as he put his brother properly to bed. Even tucked him in. “If you feel sick, call for me.”

 

 

He almost reached out to brush a rogue streak of hair from his brother ’s face, but seeing how he turned away from him, he pulled back again. Sighing, he put the bowl by his bedside table just in case he decided to change his mind. His gaze then wandered over the room, taking in how empty it had become. Before, there had been a collection of fans that took up an entire wall. One cupboard had been filled with different bottles and jars of wine. The large armoire had one door open, completely bereft of robes inside.

 

 

Nie Mingjue had a lot to make up for.

 

 

So the first thing he did was to fret about where on earth he might possibly get a fan from. Or anything playful, really! He didn ’t know anything about such things, let alone where to buy them. Not that he had ever done his own shopping! As he paced around the compound, he noticed Wei passing from one building to another - a fan on his waist.

 

 

“Wei!,” he shouted out, rushing to him with such speed that the man flinched back as if fearing he might get attacked. The maddened smile on Nie Mingjue’s face did not help. “Give me that fan!”

 

 

“Wait- what?,” Wei instinctively pulled away, protectively covering the fan. He looked a bit upset even. “Th- that’s my fan though…”

 

 

“Nonsense, you’re a Nie and I’m your sect leader, give it to me!,” Nie Mingjue held out his hand, expecting it.

 

 

“But why…,” he whined a little.

 

 

Nie Mingjue took a step closer and grabbed him, pulling him in so he could whisper.

 

 

“I need it for Huaisang. For now, anyway,” he hissed. “He won’t eat unless I give him back his things.”

 

 

That made Wei relax a little even in his iron grip.

 

 

“So you’d give it back…?”

 

 

“Yes, damn it!,” he had to reign in his voice. Why was everyone so damn obsessed with fans?! “Why do you even need it?”

 

 

“It’s hot out,” Wei replied plainly.

 

 

“Oh.” Nie Mingjue finally let go of him, straightening up. “Well. I’ll give it back. So?”

 

 

“Alright, if it’s for young master Nie,” he sighed, unhooking the fan from his belt and handing it to Nie Mingjue. “Let me know if there is anything else that I can do.”

 

 

“Tell the kitchen to have rice prepared at all times. Vegetables and meat too. I don’t know when I can get him to eat…”

 

 

“Yes, sect leader.”

 

 

Wei bowed then and took his leave, while Nie Mingjue returned to his own chambers to get at least a little sleep in before he would try another attempt. He lay awake for quite some time, fan in hand and staring at it. This had seemed so important to him before, but now his perspective had changed completely. Maybe … maybe he could continue this, once Nie Huaisang was at full strength again. Maybe if he did make some concessions here and there, his brother would start to train with him. Maybe he had to go a little slower… Even if there wasn’t that much time left for him. He could feel that.

 

 

He just had to use that time as best as he could. With his brother alive, at any cost.

 

 

His beautiful little brother. What a shame this weight loss was … Nie Mingjue thought this as he approached the bed with another bowl of rice in the morning, the fan tucked away. While on the outside he had called him weak for having such a soft body, hidden deep inside were his real thoughts on his brother. That he had been beautiful. He still was, and he could go back to the sight that made Nie Mingjue’s heart beat just a little faster. The sight that made shame well up in him too.

 

 

It was all for his health, is what he told himself now.

 

 

“Huaisang,” he called out. There was a little movement on the bed, to his relief. “I brought you something.”

 

 

“I don’t want any rice,” Nie Huaisang complained. “It doesn’t taste good.”

 

 

Nie Mingjue had to grin. There was that little whine in his voice, he wasn ’t completely emotionless anymore.

 

 

“It’s fresh this time,” he said, approaching slowly. “Or would you like me to get some stew from the kitchen?”

 

 

“I don’t want anything,” his brother insisted. “I told you to go away.”

 

 

“I brought you something.”

 

 

Silence settled over the room as Nie Huaisang stiffened in his bed, evidently trying very hard not to get up immediately. Instead he moved rather slowly, rolling on his back to push himself up a little. He tried to look unimpressed, but made some space on the bed for Nie Mingjue to sit - which he did. First he set down the bowl of rice in view of his brother, then pulled the fan from his belt and handed it to him.

 

 

“For you.”

 

 

Nie Huaisang looked at him as if he expected the fan to be poisoned. Only when he nudged him a little did he reach out to take it. Now as he unfolded it he could see that it was well used. While the drawing on it was quite beautiful even to Nie Mingjue ’s eyes, he was well aware now that it was clear it wasn’t a new gift by any means. He hadn ’t really thought that far ahead. So with great apprehension, he watched his little brother inspect it.

 

 

Surely he noticed that it was someone else ’s…

 

 

“The painting isn’t as nice as my old ones…,” Nie Huaisang mumbled, looking up at him through thick, beautiful lashes.

 

 

“Well, this is just the first one,” Nie Mingjue blurted out, laughing awkwardly. “Surely Huaisang doesn’t think this will be the only one.”

 

 

“Really…?,” his beautiful doe eyes widened a little.

 

 

By the heavens! Nie Mingjue was so weak for him.

 

 

“Mhm, yes but only under one condition,” he said, picking up the bowl of rice again. “Huaisang must eat at least half.”

 

 

“But I got sick yesterday eating it!,” his brother whined, quickly closing the fan and hugging it to his chest as if Nie Mingjue would take it away again if he refused.

 

 

“That’s because you haven’t eaten in so long,” Nie Mingjue inched a little closer, filling the spoon with just a small portion once more. “Your stomach has to get used to it. That’s why I’ll let you get away with only half.”

 

 

He paused, the spoon halfway to Nie Huaisang ’s pretty mouth.

 

 

“Please.”

 

 

Such words had never been spoken between them. Not from Nie Mingjue anyway. Nie Huaisang had often begged him, desperate for something. From him though that word carried such weight that his brother now parted his lips and let him feed him. His heart felt a little lighter watching this and he had to smile - something that Nie Huaisang returned.

 

 

His smile was so lovely. Almost a little shy.

 

 

“I don’t think you’ve ever fed me before,” Nie Huaisang said softly. He obediently opened his mouth again to take another spoon.

 

 

“Mn. Da-ge has to make sure you’re properly eating,” he said sternly, but without much seriousness behind it. “Be good now, alright?”

 

 

“Maybe,” his brother chuckled, putting a hand in front of his mouth as he swallowed. “Only if da-ge really makes it up to me.”

 

 

“Alright, alright. Da-ge will go out. But Huaisang must promise to eat while I am gone,” he scolded. “I’ll have the kitchen make whatever you like.”

 

 

“I won’t,” Nie Huaisang suddenly crossed his arms and pouted. “Absolutely not!”

 

 

“But- I’ll give you what you want!,” he blurted out, feeling frustration rise in him. “What else do you want?!”

 

 

His brother hesitated, the corner of his mouth quivering as if he were about to smile.

 

 

“I’ll only let da-ge feed me. No one else. I won’t eat!”

 

 

Nie Mingjue was stunned. This … this little brat! He had given him and inch and now he wanted to take a mile! How on earth was he going to get all these things while also staying here at the sect?! It’s not like he could bring his brother with him. The only thing he could do was take fast trips on his sabre and bring small amounts each time… It was going to be exhausting but-

 

 

“Fine,” he sighed. “Da-ge will figure something out.”

 

 

The smile he earned with those words would make everything worth it.

 

 

Half the bowl was eaten and Nie Mingjue felt somewhat pleased. After, he set out on is sabre to get to the nearest settlement, trying to find something, anything that would please his brother. The first thing he found was a jade pendant, a shade of green that matched the Nie sect robes but was too shiny to be something ordinary. At least that ’s how Nie Mingjue saw these things: If they were shiny, they had to be expensive. For the moment he didn’t care about the price anymore, just threw down some silver to get back to the sect in time for the next meal.

 

 

This time he brought a light stew from the kitchen. And this time Nie Huaisang was sitting up in his bed. He still looked far too frail, his cheeks sunken in but he was more eager and that was a good sign. The weight would need time to come back, as would the rosiness in his cheeks, but he was determined to get that version of his brother back.

 

 

He pulled the jade pendant from his sleeve, and let it dangle from his hand.

 

 

“Oh!,” Nie Huaisang’s eyes widened with delight. “Oh da-ge! That’s so pretty!”

 

 

Relief, once more. Nie Mingjue had no taste when it came to such things. This time he had gotten lucky.

 

 

His brother was tracing the design with his finger, rubbed over it to see how smooth it was, held it against the light. He was completely enamoured with it and Nie Mingjue couldn ’t hold back his smile either. So he waited patiently for his brother to be done, then held the spoon with steaming hot stew to his lips.

 

 

“Blow on it for me,” Nie Huaisang told him.

 

 

“Oi, do it yourself,” he huffed back. “You’re a grown man.”

 

 

He had not expected for his brother to pout in reply. He hadn ’t seen him pout since they were children, and seeing it on such a grown, beautiful face he… he…

 

 

Pulled back the spoon and gently blew on it. When it next approached those lovely, full lips, they parted to take it eagerly in. Nie Huaisang even hummed, closed his eyes at the taste of it.

 

 

“Da-ge~,” he held out the pendant to him. “Won’t you put it on me?”

 

 

Shameless! Absolutely shameless! Just a day before he had been willing to give up on life itself! Now he was happily teasing his big brother, demeaning him by doing such acts! And yet why could he not help himself but comply? Since when did his little brother have such power over him?

 

 

A little upset at his own weakness, he huffed and slammed the bowl down on the side table. When Nie Huaisang flinched at that, he had to take a breath and calm himself. He did not want his brother to be afraid of him anymore, that had evidently never brought him very far in getting through to him. So he tried to smile and took the pendant, leaned in to try and put it around his neck.

 

 

The clasp of the necklace was small, and Nie Mingjue had no experience with such things. While his brother leaned in closer, he fumbled with it.

 

 

“Damn thing,” he muttered. “Just… get in there…”

 

 

So close to him, when Nie Huaisang chuckled, he could feel his breath on his chest. It suddenly filled him with such warmth that his head swam, and the necklace seemed to only become more complicated. How on earth he finally managed, he did not know. Then he just grabbed his brother ’s shoulders to softly push him into sitting upright once more. Nie Huaisang looked down, playing with the pendant as a soft smile played on his face.

 

 

“Ah, da-ge, Huaisang will treasure this.”

 

 

“Why- Why don’t you treasure this stew first?,” he blurted out a little angrily, but with not much of it behind his words. He simply took up feeding his brother again. “Thank your da-ge by eating.”

 

 

“Mn. Alright.”

 

 

Nie Huaisang leaned forward, hands resting on the bed as he obediently opened his mouth. With Nie Mingjue ’s ears turning red, he continued to feed him this way. It was so oddly intimate, he thought. Something that was only done to children or sick people, which his brother technically was. So he didn’t really have to feel that shame that he felt, right…?

 

 

These were the sort of things he told himself as this strange arrangement between them continued. He would go out by himself to find things that his brother might like. Delicate, feminine things. Fans or ceramics were easier to buy than perfumes or jewellery, let alone clothes. Aside from not knowing much about what made these things good, he had terrible tastes according to his brother, and felt quite embarrassed going out to get them too. But each time he was about to give up, he remembered seeing Nie Huaisang ’s bones stick out and he pushed past his embarrassment.

 

 

And so he stood in the place with many fabrics, trying to decide what would make a good robe for his brother to lounge in. Which was most of what he did at the moment. Nie Mingjue had not gotten him out of bed yet and he suspected once he did, walking might take some great effort. It had to be something light, then.

 

 

He was about to reach for something in a pale green when a voice made him jump.

 

 

“May I help Sect Leader Nie?”

 

 

The offender was a delicate woman- no, a man with his hair in a bun. Dark, with a single grey streak in it.

 

 

“Sect Leader has been lingering for a while…,” his bright eyes had a twinkle in them. “Zhou Yan would be happy to help.”

 

 

“Ah eherm,” Nie Mingjue cleared his throat. “I’m meaning to find something for- for someone dear to me.”

 

 

Somehow ‘my brother’ could not leave his lips.

 

 

“He’s fallen very ill.”

 

 

“Oh how terrible,” the man reached for the fabric, pushing it away a little. “May I suggest something not so see through then?”

 

 

Nie Mingjue blushed. It really was see through. Of course his mind went to terrible places. Nie Huaisang, barely covered in such fabrics would surely make an arousing sight. He had to actively fight against his own arousal right here in the shop.

 

 

“It- eherm, should be something light though,” Nie Mingjue turned away, gaze sweeping over a dazzling array of colours. “And green. Yes, it should be green.”

 

 

“Do you have his measurements?,” Zhou Yan asked, pulling shades of green from the shelves.

 

 

“Measurements uhm. He’s this tall,” he said, holding his hand up to where he was sure his brother would barely reach his chest.

 

 

There was a pause as that bright gaze came to rest on his hand. Lips were pressed together, holding back amusement.

 

 

“Though I am very proficient, I do require a few more… details. Perhaps I could assuage Sect Leader Nie with an accessory today, and he may return with measurements at a later time?”

 

 

“Ah, eherm, alright,” Nie Mingjue cleared his throat aggressively. “Perhaps Zhou-xiansheng could explain what needs to be measured.”

 

 

“Of course, of course this way please~”

 

 

In the end Nie Mingjue left with a measuring tape, detailed instructions on a piece of paper, and a scarf wrapped in silk paper to take with him. He did like that shade of green, and the little birds embroidered on it. Even though he had not gotten what he had come for, he felt confident that his brother would like this next gift, especially when it came with the promise of more.

 

 

So his steps were light when he walked into the by now familiar room, smiling when he saw his brother already sitting up on the bed. Now he did not avoid him anymore, or even pretend to. Now he was smiling too when Nie Mingjue approached with gift in hand.

 

 

“Da-ge! What did you bring this time?,” Nie Huaisang asked.

 

 

Instead of putting down the parcel, he presented a small tray with food.

 

 

“Rice, soup, and ribs,” he said, holding back laughter at the sight of his little brother’s pout. “A full meal this time.”

 

 

“But I want to see,” Nie Huaisang whined.

 

 

“Give me a bite, first,” Nie Mingjue countered, lifting a piece of rib - already cleaned from the bone, to his lips. “It’s green.”

 

 

“Oh?,” his brother tilted his head adorably, tried to peek at the parcel but Nie Mingjue had hidden it behind his back. Finally he parted his lips to accept the piece of meat. He even hummed a little, clearly enjoying it. With his mouth still full he said: “Now show!”

 

 

“Hahaha, alright,” Nie Mingjue conceded. He put the tray down properly, only then placed the parcel in Nie Huaisang’s lap.

 

 

It was a delight to watch him open it. From now on he had to wrap everything in paper so he could unwrap it like this, so Nie Mingjue could see the excitement in his eyes as he did so. When the delicate embroidery saw the light of the room, his little brother squealed with happiness. That in turn made his own heart flutter.

 

 

“Oh how beautiful!,” he exclaimed, letting the silky fabric run through his fingers. “These birds ah, they even have eyes, every single one! This must have cost a fortune!”

 

 

Nie Mingjue had stopped looking after the prices.

 

 

“Huaisang is worth it,” he said softly, and a stunned silence settled over his little brother.

 

 

For a moment it even seemed as if he were about to cry. But then he pressed the scarf to his face, laughing a little before putting it around his neck. Where the pendant he had bought previously still adorned him. Nie Mingjue took that opportunity to feed him a few more bites.

 

 

“There is more to come,” he said, taking care to not spill anything on the new scarf. “It shall match this one.”

 

 

“Really? What, what?,” Nie Huaisang got all excited, hands suddenly on Nie Mingjue’s knees. The touch seemed much hotter than it should be.

 

 

“Calm yourself, your mouth is still full,” he scolded instead of taking his brother’s hands the way he wanted to.

 

 

It didn ’t help when Nie Huaisang did as he was told, chewing and swallowing obediently, his Adam's apple bobbing. It conjured up fantasies of latching onto it with his mouth, kissing, biting, sucking. Nie Mingjue had to quickly push those thoughts deep down.

 

 

“Ahem, I was told to take your measurements.”

 

 

He abruptly got up which meant Nie Huaisang lost the support of his legs and fell forward. In a panic he managed to still catch his little brother whose startled, flushed face looked adorable. With one swift motion he managed to pull up the entirety of him - much, much too light still - and stood him up in front of the bed. As he had dreaded, his knees buckled.

 

 

“Huaisang, try it,” he said softly.

 

 

“I am,” Nie Huaisang was shaking. How long had it been? Months? He was now desperately clinging to his big brother. “D-do not let me go!”

 

 

“I won’t. It’s alright.”

 

 

His entire body was screaming. Nie Huaisang was pressed so closely against him, was so frail and weak that if he wanted to, he could do anything to him. Of course he never would hurt him, but those trembling lips, those wide, doe eyes they did things to his body that he simply could not deny. Pushing it down was not going to work much longer.

 

 

With one arm around Nie Huaisang ’s waist, he helped him take a wobbly first step. Then another. Then suddenly his little brother yelped, and pressed his face into his rather large chest. As if to hide… from the mirror, Nie Mingjue realised.

 

 

“I look like a ghost!,” Nie Huaisang blurted out.

 

 

“Alright, alright it’s not that bad,” Nie Mingjue lied just a little. They still had a long way to go, and part of him wanted to point out that he had done this to himself. But that was not going to be helpful. “Go on. Look. Really look.”

 

 

He had to be just a little forceful. But even without all that weight loss and resting too long in bed, his brother could not exactly have fought him. Still he made a point to look out that he would not be leaving any bruises on his precious little brother. He simply made him look at himself in the mirror. Against him, the large, fit form of Nie Mingjue. Himself, so thin and pale. No food, no sunlight for far too long. But Nie Mingjue caressed his cheek.

 

 

“Huaisang’s beauty is still there,” he said softly, finding himself blushing at such words. They came much easier to him than he ever expected. “Da-ge will help you. I’ll carry you to your terrace and we’ll have lunch there, what do you think?”

 

 

“N-no!,” Nie Huaisang blurted out. “What if anyone sees me like this?!”

 

 

“They know you are ill,” he replied. “But not why. Everyone is hoping for your recovery. So please… didi must eat for us.”

 

 

Nie Huaisang ’s eyes widened.

 

 

“D-didi…?,” he muttered. Slowly, a smile quirked up the corners of his mouth, and he tried to hug Nie Mingjue more tightly. His strength was laughable, but the effort adorable. “This didi will try his best!”

 

 

Then he looked up at him.

 

 

“But da-ge, you must also measure didi! For the next present.”

 

 

Nie Mingjue had to laugh, his whole body shaking and with that, his little brother ’s too. Of course he had not forgotten about the present.

 

 

“Will didi be able to stand a little on his own? Lean against me if you cannot.”

 

 

“Mn. I’ll try!”

 

 

Nie Huaisang truly was too weak. It made measuring him the way that seamstress had shown him quite difficult, but once he noticed it would take some time he made himself take in a deep breath. Smile at Huaisang. Tell him everything is okay. Then, hands on him. Keep him close, steady. Do not let him fall.

 

 

He told himself these sort instructions, going through them one by one to keep on the task, and to keep his little brother safe. Safe from falling over. Safe from himself … Nie Mingjue wasn’t quite sure about that.

 

 

With one arm around that slender waist, he used his free hand to slide underneath his brother ’s thigh. Gently like this, he helped him lift it. Shift his own leg so that Nie Huaisang’s could be draped over it and remain steady. Only then did he start to fumble with the measuring tape, wrapping it around that lovely thigh that had gotten exposed from this movement, light robe falling away.

 

 

Nie Mingjue swallowed.

 

 

Just measure it. Just measure it.

 

 

That number was far too small. Still, he noted it down. Truth be told, Nie Mingjue liked when there was something to hold onto. Though Nie Huaisang was still the most beautiful in his eyes, he did want him to gain that weight back not just because it was healthy, but because it made him not just beautiful but gorgeous.

 

 

As he guided that leg to stand back down, and hugged his brother tighter against him to measure his arm, Nie Huaisang let out a noise. A small breath. A whimper. No noise he had ever heard from his little brother before and with the way he was leaning down, that breath tickled his ear. A scandalous little breath that ignited the fire in his loins.

 

 

“Did da-ge hold you too tightly?,” he asked in a whisper, not trusting his own voice.

 

 

“N-no, it’s alright. It’s just that da-ge hasn’t held me like this before,” Nie Huaisang admitted. His hand that wasn’t being measured had come to the back of Nie Mingjue’s robes, clinging there gently. “Huaisang likes it.”

 

 

It became hard to remember the number he had just measured, let alone lean away to write it down. He dropped the measuring tape and didn ’t bother to pick it back up, instead he pulled his brother into a proper hug. One that had their bodies flush together, one that was perhaps far too intimate for two brothers to share.

 

 

“Like this?,” his raspy voice asked.

 

 

“Yes. Yes,” Nie Huaisang gasped. “Didi likes it. A lot.”

 

 

He could see them both in the mirror. One body so large and muscular, the other so small and far, far too thin. Even the shine in his brother ’s hair had vanished. How close he must have come to actual death. To being separated forever. His arms wrapped around Nie Huaisang just a little tighter.

 

 

“Didi feels safe here. All I wanted was for da-ge to protect me.”

 

 

Of course he would always protect him. He had simply been too scared to think of what would happen when he wasn ’t there anymore. That’s why he had been strict. He was still worried.

 

 

“Da-ge will protect you. Of course I will,” he replied instead of everything that was in his mind that he could not put into words. “Huaisang must promise me to eat. For da-ge, alright?”

 

 

“Mhm, I promise,” came the soft voice against his chest.

 

 

“You truly promise?,” it was Nie Mingjue who needed to be reassured now.

 

 

In the mirror, he watched his own hand move. Slide lower from Nie Huaisang ’s back, resting on his behind. He wanted to squeeze, but it both terrified and aroused him.

 

 

“I promise, I do!,” Nie Huaisang replied more energetically. Was he… pressing back into his hand? “Da-ge, don’t let go just yet. I promise I’ll eat. Just hold me!”

 

 

“I will, I will!”

 

 

Just a little tighter. Just tight enough not to hurt him. Just enough to feel him, to lean in and take in a deep breath the way he had always wanted to. Taking in his beautiful little brother, even with wandering hands but … Nie Huaisang didn’t pull away. He didn’t complain either, and he was good at that. No, instead he even pressed into his touches, far too many of which were now inappropriate. Nie Mingjue only caught himself when he did squeeze that behind, and abruptly pulled away.

 

 

“Th- the measurements,” he mumbled, picking up the tape. Then he ignored the smile playing on Nie Huaisang’s lips. “Gotta get the measurements…”

 

 

He was ready to flee the room when he was done, but Nie Huaisang who was back sitting on his bed was the one to call him back. Hadn ’t he forgotten something? The food was still uneaten. His little brother insisted that he be fed and oh, that just made everything worse. It made him look at those lovely lips, made him hear the sounds of pleasure when he ate a piece of his favourite meat - now all he suddenly could think about was how he had felt pressed against him.

 

 

Nie Mingjue really, really did not want to jerk off to the thought of his little brother. But in the end he was left with little choice in the matter. It would simply not. Go. Down. Of course, naturally he tried to think of other things as he touched himself. Men, women. Anything, really. His thoughts however always returned to those lips. That smile. The hips. His behind. Even in this state he wanted him so badly . If he already felt this good against him now, what would it be like when he was his former self again, with enough to squeeze and grope?!

 

 

Groaning, Nie Mingjue spilled the most embarrassing load of his life. This was what he had become.

 

 

And yet, this was now their routine. Nie Mingjue barely spent any time on sect activities - not that he had been very active in politics anyway, but now even more was put on Wei ’s shoulders who was pretty much used to it. All so the actual sect leader could fly around on his sword, send out orders, pick up orders and tell the kitchen what to cook so that his little brother would get the most nutrients. And perhaps… a little more fat than was strictly necessary on top of that.

 

 

But that smile … Whenever he walked in and Nie Huaisang would smile at him like that , he couldn ’t help but think this life was good. Slowly he would help his brother walk around, or the two of them would sit outside on the terrace so he could get some sun. Among the gifts he got him were skin care products, things for his hair that Nie Mingjue also personally had to apply meaning he got to see his little brother in the bath - the water milky white with whatever beauty thing had been added to it.

 

 

There though he could see that slowly it was working. Nie Huaisang was gaining weight and looking healthier, stronger now.

 

 

“Ah, da-ge! Careful,” Nie Huaisang scolded, all too comfortable doing such a thing nowadays. Nie Mingjue had become his servant, wrapped around his little finger.

 

 

“My apologies,” he chuckled, making sure he was more careful with his hair now, combing through any knots much more carefully.

 

 

“Don’t you think I’m gaining a bit too much weight now?,” his brother sighed, hand on his belly. “It’s going to be as bad as it was before.”

 

 

“It wasn’t bad,” Nie Mingjue carefully laid that long grown hair over the side of the tub and leaned over, kissing his brother’s temple. Such contact had grown more frequent between them. He wanted to reach out and touch his stomach. Wanted to tell him it was more than fine if it grew a bit more. “This da-ge was wrong. Huaisang was perfect. No need to worry.”

 

 

“Perfect…?,” the corner of his mouth twitched a little as if he were holding back a smile. “But da-ge always said…”

 

 

Nie Mingjue sighed. He took a sponge to wet it in the water, then gently rubbed it over his shoulders, slowly along his arm, too.

 

 

“Huaisang,” he sounded a little more serious now. “There are many things in this world that will want to hurt you. Da-ge has always been worried, and is still worried now. It was all meant to prepare you, make you stronger. I see now it was the wrong method. But Huaisang was never bad.”

 

 

If he could capture the look in his brother ’s eye, he would. The wide eyed, sparkle that was aimed at him wore down all his defences. In this moment, if he wanted to lean in and kiss him, he would have no power to fight against it.

 

 

“Huaisang has something to show da-ge, if he promises not to get mad,” he breathed softly.

 

 

“I promise.”

 

 

Nie Huaisang was about to stand up, stopped and giggled.

 

 

“Da-ge~,” he scolded sweetly. “You have to turn around!”

 

 

Ah, and here he had been hoping to see that lovely behind. Most likely it was better this way, and so he obeyed. Closed his eyes for good measure, as there was a mirror in the room. Only when Nie Huaisang touched his shoulder did he get up with him. These days he suspected that when his brother leaned against him when they walked, it was a bit of an act. He had clearly gotten strong enough to do so on his own, but Nie Mingjue didn ’t exactly mind, either. With an arm around Nie Huaisang’s shoulders, he led him to sit down on his bed.

 

 

Here he crawled to the side that was against the wall, reaching between the bed and it to rummage below. A natural hiding space that he himself had used for things in the past. What he pulled out were a few bound books and at first Nie Mingjue thought they might be … naughty in nature and his heart lurched. But it turned out-

 

 

“Martial arts manuals?,” his jaw dropped. He really did not expect this. “Why do you have these?”

 

 

“They’re special,” Nie Huaisang said, loose hair falling into his face and by the gods he looked so beautiful. Nie Mingjue shook his head to look at the book again. “They are! Here, look…”

 

 

He had seen many such manuals before, but this one was indeed different. It was a school of martial arts he had never seen before … because they used a fan to channel their inner energy. At first he wanted to scoff and dismiss it, but the longer he looked at it the more it seemed that there was something to it. He had seen many fake manuals in his day, but these were techniques he had seen before just with a different focus. And much more elegance.

 

 

“You wish to learn this,” Nie Mingjue concluded, finally looking at his brother’s hopeful expression again.

 

 

“I’ve tried learning some of it…,” he blushed as he admitted this. “Let me show you.”

 

 

Nie Mingjue noticed with a smirk how steady he was now on his feet as he went through his growing fan collection to pick one that suited his tastes today. Standing in the clearest part of his rooms, he took in a deep breath - clearly adorably nervous to perform before his sect leader brother. First he stretched, then another deep breath then slowly … Pushing one leg out to the side, raising his fan - still closed - up high. His moves really were very graceful, even having taught himself as far as he could tell.

 

 

While the fan was still closed, it felt as if he was trying to find his rhythm to finally raise his knee and fan high once more. There was a pause, and he suddenly sent out the fan quickly, opening it in the process and much like a sword there was a glare - small as it was it still struck through the room and knocked over a vase at the other end.

 

 

In delighted shock, Nie Mingjue stood and laughed.

 

 

“Huaisang!,” he blurted out, startling his brother who, on one foot, almost fell. “Amazing! You did this all yourself?!”

 

 

“Mn,” he nodded shyly, back on both feet and playing with his fan. “It’s not much yet…”

 

 

“Well you must stop immediately!,” he barked, reaching him and grabbing his shoulders.

 

 

“But da-ge I thought-”

 

 

“If you do it wrong, you’ll harm your body,” Nie Mingjue interrupted. “I must find you a proper teacher immediately!”

 

 

The shock that had appeared on his brother ’s face at the interruption quickly changed into delight and when he jumped onto him, Nie Mingjue effortlessly held him up against his chest. They laughed together and he let himself indulge in the feeling of his brother against him, now a little heavier, sturdier, the way he had liked him before. His face flushed a little when there were suddenly kisses pressed to his face, all over it! His cheek, his forehead, even his nose - and then his lips.

 

 

They paused, their laughter echoing away. But those smiles never vanished.

 

 

“I like this new da-ge,” Nie Huaisang said softly.

 

 

“You like being spoiled!,” he shot back and his brother giggled sweetly.

 

 

“I do! But… I like the other stuff too. Feeding me… taking care of me. Da-ge is so gentle now. I like that.”

 

 

“Da-ge had to learn…,” he grew serious now, voice low. “I apologise, Huaisang. For hurting you so much.”

 

 

Nie Huaisang softly shook his head. Then he leaned in again and his heart lurched, but that kiss was just to his cheek. Only the next one … it was closer to his mouth again. On the corner of it. And it lingered, making him hold his breath. Nie Mingjue wanted to break his final chains, to have his brother the way he really wanted to. Only his own body moved. Set him down again, smoothed down his robes. Though he was smiling, Nie Huaisang looked a little unsure.

 

 

“Da-ge…?”

 

 

“Let’s eat,” Nie Mingjue said.

 

 

For this was still their ritual too. Neither ever talked about the fact that Nie Mingjue was still feeding his grown brother, who was now more than capable of doing it on his own. Neither did they talk about that kiss, and the ones that had followed. Blushes in both their faces were ignored. Instead, they took in the bliss that not talking brought them.

 

 

It wasn ’t even long before Wei found them a tutor. The man had built a considerable network over the years so Nie Mingjue did not have to bother with such things after all. He was eager to meet this man, but Nie Huaisang was most likely even happier. He spent all morning trying to decide what to wear and which fan to pick out to be introduced to his new master with.

 

 

Nie Mingjue picked up the robes he had ordered from that kind man, with the embroidered birds. The green really suited his brother, and fortunately that man had even made it a little larger than the skinny measurements he had sent over the first time. Which meant that now Nie Huaisang was filled out again, it fit perfectly. The picture of an elegant young master, and Nie Mingjue made sure that there were no knots in his long hair. He had even helped put it up, the one thing he could do! He had proclaimed himself to be the master of braids, and so his brother had many in his hair now.

 

 

“Oh I’m so nervous!,” Nie Huaisang had hardly been able to sit or stand still, constantly fidgeting. “What if he sees me and doesn’t want me to be his disciple?!”

 

 

“Then he will be flogged,” Nie Mingjue replied firmly. “No one rejects my didi.”

 

 

“You can’t force him to teach me,” his little brother giggled in return, half hiding his face behind his fan. The one he had chosen in the end matched his robes. “Da-ge, you’ve become silly! What silliness is this?!”

 

 

“Silliness? I’ll show you silliness!”

 

 

His large arms wrapped around Nie Huaisang from behind, all propriety forgotten as he started to tickle him. His brother shrieked and laughed, kicked his legs when he was picked up but he could not escape the much stronger man ’s embrace.

 

 

“Da-ge! Da-ge!”

 

 

“It’s no use!,” he laughed. “Your da-ge is much stronger! You’ll have to work hard to win against me!”

 

 

Nie Huaisang ’s uncontrollable giggling delighted his heart. Why had he been so stubborn for so long? Was part of it the shame he felt whenever he looked at his brother? Perhaps. This, even if it also hurt his heart, filled it more. It was worth it. Touching him but not touching him the way he wanted to. Making him laugh, making him happy.

 

 

However he had not expected how devious his little brother could be! A sudden shift in his weight had them both tumbling over, falling on the bed while knocking over everything that had been on the side table. Nie Mingjue was far too aware how much larger and heavier he was than his little brother, and so with his quick reflexes he managed to prop himself up before he fully fell. This meant however that Nie Huaisang had fallen below him, now looking up at him with a smile, wide eyes and a flushed face.

 

 

“D-da-ge didn’t expect that!,” he blurted out triumphantly. “That means I won!”

 

 

“With your enemy looming above you, ready to crush?,” Nie Mingjue growled back playfully. He leaned in closer so that his own hair was framing them both, hiding them from the outside world. “Didi had not considered the consequences of his actions.”

 

 

“What makes you think I had not considered it?,” Nie Huaisang tilted his head, even arched his back a little so they were even closer. His small hands slowly came to the front of Nie Mingjue’s robes. Who let himself be pulled even closer.

 

 

Now his little brother ’s breath was tickling his lips. His fists tensed up, knuckles white.

 

 

“Da-ge,” Nie Huaisang sighed, that small little whimper that went straight to Nie Mingjue’s cock. With how close they were, with having one leg between his little brother’s, anything would be noticeable.

 

 

He leaned up while Nie Mingjue moved lower. The heat of their breaths intermingled, a most precious union. A wanted union. From them both …?

 

 

“Sect leader Nie, the master has arrived,” Wei’s voice made Nie Mingjue jump up as if bitten by a snake. More things were knocked over and broken. “Sect leader Nie? Is everything alright?”

 

 

“Yes. Yes,” he blurted out, rubbing over his mouth that had not quite touched those desired lips. “A moment!”

 

 

Then he turned his head to address his brother but did not really look at him.

 

 

“Get your robes in order!”

 

 

Nie Huaisang did not move as fast as he would like, nor did he look ashamed in any way. In fact, he was unable to hide a small smile playing on his lips. He also took his time checking himself in the mirror, fingers tracing his own lips in a thoughtful motion. That little … he was doing this on purpose he- he wanted Nie Mingjue. His own brother!

 

 

His … his feelings were returned?! That was a possibility that he had never imagined before.

 

 

And he was playing with him. Had him wrapped around his little finger. How could he have let this happen?! If anyone was going to have the upper hand in this relationship, it would have to be him! With this new mindset, he ordered his brother to follow him and the two joined Wei to walk to the main gate, where a fancifully decorated carriage had arrived. Holding back a grin he went to it, opened the door to reach inside.

 

 

“Welcome to Qinghe,” he said, and a delicate hand met his. “It’s… you?!”

 

 

Zhou Yan stepped out of the carriage with a smile, gracefully stepping down even with long robes trailing behind him. Dressed in pink and with a fur lined cloak, he was a striking sight. Small and delicate, he really was his type if his heart wasn ’t beating for another. He couldn’t take his eyes off of him as he led him towards his brother, who scowled for a moment.

 

 

“Huaisang,” he warned, and that scowl turned into a smile.

 

 

“Welcome, shifu- ah I mean- welcome to Qinghe!,” Nie Huaisang stammered, bowing almost as gracefully as Zhou Yan did in turn.

 

 

“I haven’t taken a disciple in many years,” the smaller man had pulled a fan from his belt, fanning himself lazily. Nie Mingjue could see his brother eyeing it, it must be of good quality. To him, it was simply pink. “Imagine my surprise when the Nie sect of all people contacted me!”

 

 

“Ah, no offence master Zhou, but aren’t you a seamstress?,” Nie Mingjue asked.

 

 

“I am many things,” he replied mysteriously.

 

 

“Please I- I saw manuals and I really, really want to learn!,” Nie Huaisang blurted out, almost grabbing Zhou Yan’s arm but thinking better of it. Instead he bowed once more. “I would give it my all!”

 

 

“Master Zhou, walk with us. Tea has been prepared,” Nie Mingjue held out his arm to indicate the direction and they walked. “Indeed my little brother is not well suited to the Nie fighting style. I thought it best for him to learn something he is passionate about.”

 

 

“Not everyone is suited to this kind of martial arts either,” Zhou Yan replied. Even seeing him walk, Nie Mingjue couldn’t help but notice how graceful he was. He could imagine him doing those moves he had seen in the manual and look like a god.

 

 

“Mhm,” he nodded absentmindedly, not noticing the angry look Nie Huaisang briefly shot at him.

 

 

“I will work really hard!,” Nie Huaisang then said. He was eager to get in front, open the door for Zhou Yan and guide him to sit on the terrace overlooking a training area. “I would do anything!”

 

 

Unlike how he was with his older brother, he was now eager to serve and impress. He even picked the nicest looking pastry to give to his potential master instead of himself.

 

 

“Would you walk for me?,” Zhou Yan asked a confused Nie Huaisang.

 

 

“Walk?”

 

 

“Yes. Just walk along this terrace as you would normally.”

 

 

“Uhm… okay!”

 

 

He obediently rushed to the far side of the terrace, then head held high he strolled along the side of it, eyes darting to Zhou Yan every so often. The seamstress was only faintly smiling the entire time, no sign of displeasure or particular joy there.

 

 

“As you normally would,” Zhou Yan said again and Nie Huaisang laughed nervously.

 

 

He shook his head a little, and walked once more to the other side.

 

 

“Hmmm,” the smaller man took a sip of tea. “You have a fan?”

 

 

“Yes!,” Nie Huaisang pulled it from his belt and opened it, showing off the expertly drawn lines signifying wind.

 

 

“Good. Turn your back to me. Left foot out front. In an arc to the left. Mirror that movement with your arm and fan.”

 

 

At first a little clumsily, then more smoothly Nie Huaisang followed these orders. Like this, he was guided through a few stances that Nie Mingjue followed closely. Zhou Yan was testing him in some way but he could not quite figure out how.

 

 

“Stop. Come back to us,” he finally said, and his little brother looked absolutely nervous when he did so. But before he could sit, Zhou Yan stood and lightly clapped for him. “Your natural grace is beautiful. Well done.”

 

 

He turned to Nie Mingjue.

 

 

“He is suitable. I would be honoured to teach him.”

 

 

“Eeep!,” Nie Huaisang let out a strangled, high pitched noise and suddenly jumped on top off Nie Mingjue, who could effortlessly carry him. Twirling him around he let his brother celebrate on top of him. “Da-ge, da-ge he said yes he said yes I have a shifu!”

 

 

With such elation he couldn ’t help but laugh with him, sharing in his joy. He didn’t mind being hugged again and again either, receiving a kiss on his cheek and thanking him for giving him this opportunity. Zhou Yan watched all this with that mischievous glint in his eyes, smiling at the two of them.

 

 

“Go on then, bow,” Nie Mingjue finally urged him. “Do it properly.”

 

 

It felt almost odd, in that moment. He had been angry for so long but these days, spending them with his brother and seeing him grow healthier and happier than ever before … it was all gone. Seeing Nie Huaisang kowtow to his new master, then being drawn into a hug by the smaller man only brought joy. And so did watching him train in the coming days.

 

 

The two were matched perfectly. Neither got up as early as all the other Nie disciples, rather they had breakfast together to discuss the training for the day. Which usually happened in a place that had to be “beautiful”. There was a reasoning behind it that Nie Mingjue didn’t quite understand, but the sight of the two of them training together in the woods really was very nice. He liked watching. His brother, mostly. Who seemed to be growing more beautiful by the day.

 

 

Three meals a day had turned to one that they shared. When it came to having dinner, it was still just the two of them, and Nie Huaisang insisted on being fed while he chatted about the day ’s training. And getting bolder, too. Before he knew it, his brother had taken to sitting in his lap as he demanded to be fed, squirming every so often as if to deliberately get him hard.

 

 

Finally, he had to grab him by the waist.

 

 

“Keep still,” he growled. “Huaisang!”

 

 

“Oh? I’m sorry da-ge, I didn’t mean to annoy you,” he replied, pouting somewhat. Oh those eyes. Those lips! He really was trying to get him to give in!

 

 

“You know exactly what you’re doing,” he scolded. “You understand this is not right, do you?”

 

 

“Hm? What isn’t right?,” now he tilted his head too, hair falling over his shoulder. That long, beautiful hair.

 

 

“You and I,” he brought out.

 

 

“What? We’re not supposed to be brothers?,” Nie Huaisang laughed. “You're silly, da-ge!”

 

 

Nie Mingjue couldn ’t help but roll his eyes, then grabbed his brother’s chin, still keeping him in place. He wouldn’t say it, not outright. But he wanted to know if his brother would continue to play around or if he would simply accept that Nie Mingjue was taking the final step.

 

 

“Hm?” Nie Huaisang’s big brown eyes drew him in. Such beauty.

 

 

It was slow, deliberate movement as he leaned in. As he was keeping him in an iron grip, his brother could not move away but there was enough time to protest. To say something. Anything. But nothing came from those beautiful lips.

 

 

Nie Mingjue closed his eyes when they sealed their fate with this first kiss.

 

 

In his grip, Nie Huaisang was soft. Pliant. Parting his lips when he felt Nie Mingjue shifting. Letting him lick into his mouth, letting passion grow.

 

 

There should have been shame. But that had gotten lost along the way somewhere, long ago.

 

 

How good his little brother felt in his arms. How wonderful he tasted! How he adored that clumsy kiss that grew more confident by the second! His brother. His.

 

 

There were only smiles when they pulled away, Nie Huaisang ’s lips glistening and somewhat reddened.

 

 

“Da-ge~,” Nie Huaisang sighed, sounding playful. “How dare you steal my first kiss~?”

 

 

“Your first?,” Nie Mingjue’s grip on his brother’s waist tightened.

 

 

“Of course! Did you think I was a whore?!”

 

 

“No, never,” he replied calmly. “My beautiful didi would never. I am merely… happy.”

 

 

“Good. Huaisang is happy too,” he suddenly giggled and threw himself at him, hugging him tightly. “Oh da-ge, I’m so, so happy you finally did it! That kiss was always yours!”

 

 

“Was it now…,” he chuckled, taking his brother’s shoulders so he could look at him. “Yes, I suspect so…”

 

 

Just like that things were different, and yet they were much the same. As if this really had been in their future all along, a natural development of their relationship. Hiding it came naturally to them, although Nie Mingjue had gotten quite famous for spoiling his little didi so much that being physically intimate in public didn ’t raise too many eyebrows. Always dancing on that line of what was appropriate… Perhaps they both enjoyed that part a bit too much.

 

 

With his brother now properly throwing himself into learning martial arts, Nie Mingjue had to do the same. Because of him he had neglected his own training for far too long. Now, the sabre seemed to rest rather heavy in his hand when he picked it up after so long. Almost as if it wasn ’t an extension of his body anymore, but whether he or it had changed he did not know. It was his own fault, he needed to work harder. To protect his sect. To protect Nie Huaisang.

 

 

He got lost in it. Hours passed by in the blink of an eye as he re-familiarised himself with his weapon, feeling its energy and connecting with it. Strength was the most important thing to have, it was all he could think about. Strength to protect. The sight of his thin brother urged him on to keep going. Protecting him from himself, that he could do. Protecting him from everything else in the world, he needed his sabre for that. Who knew what the future would bring?

 

 

This pursuit took over his mind. He didn ’t notice people calling out to him, let alone how weary is body became. It hurt. His mind and body hurt, burned . But it was more important to continue his training than anything else. Nothing else existed here. Pain and rage. Nothing more.

 

 

Until that voice rang out.

 

 

“Da-ge!”

 

 

He was blinded by that presence. Pure and good, a god descending to him … why?

 

 

“Da-ge, put down the sabre.”

 

 

He reached out, not realising that it was with the hand that was holding the sabre. The scream from that voice shook him to his core, the light fading, his own rage dissipating. In front of him Nie Huaisang, blood running down his cheek from a clean cut to it.

 

 

“H-Huaisang,” he gasped. “I- What happened?”

 

 

“It’s alright.” Nie Huaisang was shaking but he made himself smile and approached. Ignoring the cut, he reached for the hand holding the sabre. He tugged on it, made the steel grip on it loosen. “Just drop it. Drop it now, alright?”

 

 

“Huaisang,” he blurted out again, shaking. “I hurt you.”

 

 

“No it’s nothing,” his brother stammered, despite his words looking frightened. “There, that’s it, drop it.”

 

 

The sabre clattered to the ground. Just one day. One day of training and he had lost himself again. All this time things had been fine why … why now?

 

 

“I’m sorry, didi. I’m so sorry.”

 

 

He pulled Nie Huaisang into a hug or rather … he needed him to cling to. His world. How could he have hurt him? He didn’t notice how much he had been babbling ‘I’m sorry’s until his brother told him to stop. Gently. Always so gently.

 

 

“I don’t understand,” he mumbled. “Everything was alright.”

 

 

“It’s that sabre,” Nie Huaisang reached up, caressing his cheeks. “Da-ge, don’t touch it again.”

 

 

“But I have to protect you!” Nie Mingjue felt like sobbing. But he had never done so in his life and he would not start now. Not in front of his brother. “And I hurt you… I’m so sorry.”

 

 

Nie Huaisang then stood on tiptoe, and pulled Nie Mingjue ’s head lower towards him. In this small space it was only the two of them.

 

 

“Didi will help da-ge,” he whispered. “With… with dual cultivation. I do not practise the sabre, perhaps I… I can even out that bad energy.”

 

 

Nie Mingjue ’s eyes went wide at the suggestion, and he was drawn back to reality rather suddenly.

 

 

“Aren’t there people nearby?,” his eyes darted left and right, saw concerned faces but Nie Huaisang just giggled.

 

 

“Then da-ge just needs to be quiet. It’s alright now. Huaisang will take care of you.”

 

 

Led by the hand, Nie Mingjue just followed his brother, who told everyone concerned that things were alright and he would take care of his brother now. Even Wei was waved off, and the two found themselves in Nie Huaisang ’s chambers yet again, where he had to insist his brother take care of the cut on his cheek. What if it became a scar? He couldn’t bear to have this reminder every time he looked at his brother.

 

 

He watched him carefully dab at it, putting a white paste on it so that it would heal more quickly. He didn ’t seem to mind at all that he had gotten hurt but Nie Mingjue remembered that scream. More fear than pain.

 

 

In the end, Nie Huaisang settled in his lap.

 

 

“I always imagined my first time in this particular way, but if it’s to help da-ge then we can do it right now,” he said, already hiking up his robes. As soon as those lovely thighs were revealed, Nie Mingjue’s throat closed up and he had to grab his brother’s wrists to stop him.

 

 

“How… did you imagine it?,” came out of his mouth instead of the million other things he was thinking of right now. At the top of the list being those thighs that he wanted to desperately be between. He hadn’t seen how beautifully they had filled out again, and his desire only grew despite the shock still lingering in his stomach.

 

 

“It doesn’t matter. Quickly, so you don’t lose yourself again!,” Nie Huaisang urged. Already he was loosening his belt and robes, a delicate shoulder exposed and Nie Mingjue had to fight everything to not ravage him right here. This was not what his didi deserved!

 

 

“Stop, please, I’m alright now,” he told his brother while trying to get him to look decent again. “I’ll be fine for a while. Just tell me. Tell your da-ge.”

 

 

Nie Huaisang slowly blushed as he spoke, fingers playing with the front of his robes despite the sweat soaked into them. What a terrible state he was in now, and still his brother had been all too eager to have him!

 

 

“Do not laugh at me but I… I always pictured da-ge having me under the stars,” he said quite softly.

 

 

Not ‘my first time’… Specifically ‘da-ge’. His fantasy had always been him? That thought made his throat close up again, blinking away tears threatening to spill.

 

 

“I don’t even know where - it would be out in public and we can’t do that but… I want to look up at da-ge and see the stars. And become yours forever.”

 

 

Finally, a tear did start to make its way, rolling down his cheek. Not more than that, he told himself. A shaky breath did little to calm him.

 

 

“How romantic,” he breathed.

 

 

“Oh da-ge, you’re crying!,” Nie Huaisang had never seen him cry and looked like he was about to panic but Nie Mingjue pulled him into an embrace, letting his head rest on the much smaller shoulder. “Da-ge…?”

 

 

“I’m alright. Would Huaisang be good, and let me rest right here?”

 

 

“Yes… yes of course…”

 

 

The much smaller brother coaxed him into his bed, slowly, gently. So that he could rest, lie on Nie Huaisang ’s chest and listen to his heartbeat. Not steady. Fluttering. Only calming when he too was slowly falling asleep, thinking of the stars. It had to come true. Somehow he had to make this dream come true.

 

 

But where would they see the stars with enough privacy to start their … dual cultivation? Nie Mingjue thought of this often, wondering if his brother could be right, that it could even out his tendencies to steer towards qi deviation. It wasn’t unheard of. Of course he had never imagined that it would be with his own brother.

 

 

That spoiled little brother. Everyone in Qinghe knew about it by then and so he did not feel anxious asking Wei for advice. He would have him scout out places at night to find something with the best view and the most privacy. Conveniently leaving out the part about the dual cultivation, though it was often on his mind.

 

 

Of course all of this had to be a surprise. During many mornings and evenings he excused himself to discuss with Wei, only noticing that there were eyes on them a few weeks later. Thankfully the matching ears weren ’t quite in listening distance, just those beautiful brown eyes watching them, a scowl above. For some reason, Nie Mingjue’s little brother was quite displeased with these meetings.

 

 

At first he thought it may be because of the incident with the sabre. He had made sure to have short training sessions, and meditate afterwards but if that was the case, why wasn ’t he saying anything? In the end it had to be him who asked.

 

 

“Why do you make that face?,” he tried to sound gentle but gripped his brother’s chin when he had caught him spying on them yet again. “I don’t like it when you frown like this.”

 

 

“Oh?,” Nie Huaisang tried to slap his hand away, but Nie Mingjue was still stronger than him and so his pout only grew stronger. “Then you shouldn’t be spending all that time with that stupid Wei!”

 

 

“Hm?” He blinked a few times in surprise and finally let go. “Are you… jealous?”

 

 

“Bah! He’s not prettier than me!” Nie Huaisang with his hands on his hips looked like the epitome of a scorned, jealous woman and Nie Mingjue had to laugh. “Stop! Stop that right this instant! Is that what you think, you like him more than me?! Don’t laugh!”

 

 

Ah! How cruel! This sweet thing, that angry look on him but most of all the pout~ Nie Mingjue could hardly resist and so he did not! He simply pulled his little brother close and started to kiss his face all over, ignoring his protests and increased pouting until he gave up and simply accepted this harsh treatment from him. Once Nie Mingjue was satisfied, he pulled him into his lap. As they often were, they had ended up in his little brother ’s chambers. Now even housing some of Nie Mingjue’s own things.

 

 

“Didi has no reason to be jealous,” he said calmly, brushing through streaks of Nie Huaisang’s beautiful hair. “There is nothing between me and Wei.”

 

 

“Then why are you suddenly spending so much time with him, instead of feeding me?!”

 

 

Oh! Of course! Their scheming had indeed drawn them together during evening meal times. While he had always loved to feed his little brother he had not realised just how much Nie Huaisang had grown to like it.

 

 

“Da-ge is very sorry,” he said, kissing his forehead. “I will make time. I promise.”

 

 

“What on earth are you working on with him?!,” Nie Huaisang demanded.

 

 

“You will know in time. Didi must be patient a little bit longer.”

 

 

But he was inconsolable. Until Nie Mingjue pulled out the jewellery he had procured based on Zhou Yan ’s recommendations who knew just so well what would look good on his little brother. He wondered sometimes if that man suspected something, but even if he did he did not seem to plan on doing anything about it and so Nie Mingjue could not care less.

 

 

“For me?!,” Nie Huaisang giggled when he took the wooden box, knowing full well that everything nowadays was always for him. Nie Mingjue had become his completely. And when he opened the small container, his eyes sparkled as much as the jewellery in it. “Oh da-ge! Da-ge! This- this is too much!”

 

 

And yet he still took what was in it, let it roll between his fingers to catch the light on the green jewels. Long, dangling golden earrings. Matching bracelets and necklaces. Or what he thought to be necklaces. Some of them were very long, and connected in odd ways. Only when Nie Huaisang held them to his body did he realise they could be worn over clothes … or underneath. Suddenly he was very excited about and interested in jewellery.

 

 

“Oh but da-ge when will I ever get a chance to wear these?,” Nie Huaisang pouted. So adorably, that he just had to kiss him again.

 

 

“Didi will know when. Soon,” he replied mysteriously.

 

 

With that, he had already won him over again. After feeding him that night, the two ended up on the bed with Nie Mingjue desperately holding back from what he really wanted to do with his little brother. Everything was setting him on fire. The kisses the shared, but especially the way Nie Huaisang could just squirm so deliciously against him that it sent all sense of reason out the window, and blood down to his groin. It was almost worse than a qi deviation!!

 

 

Although, the threat of that happening he was now discovering, was much lower when his brother was nearby. A few days after that first incident, his little brother showed up with Zhou Yan to train nearby. Whenever he was within view, Nie Mingjue felt much calmer, even when doing his own training. Every day Nie Huaisang became stronger, developing at a rapid pace, and with the pride he felt about this, his own rage was subdued. It felt quite … magical.

 

 

So it was more than deserved to have this magical first time he always dreamed of. Wei of course did not know that all these preparations were for his brother, but he seemed to be fond of Nie Mingjue ’s newfound calmness and romantic streak. When everything was settled, Wei suddenly pulled him into a hug which startled him so much that he simply froze up.

 

 

“Sect leader, I’m so happy you found someone. Please do have a good time tonight!”

 

 

With that, and a smile, he left him to it. Everything was set up now, so Nie Mingjue would watch his brother come through the forest path they had prepared, note in hand that he had left behind for him to find. This forest path was protected of course, nothing would come out to harm his brother, and the lights they used to do this had the added benefit of looking incredibly romantic. Already he could see the gems of Nie Huaisang ’s earrings glisten in the low light, his eyes sparkling.

 

 

Jewels were even in his hair. Those that Nie Mingjue hadn ’t understood before. Beautiful golden chain over his forehead, around his head and even tangling in it. His breath hitched as he thought that he would get to explore all this in just a little while.

 

 

From his hiding place in the trees, he watched Nie Huaisang stop at a particularly lit up tree, fireflies fluttering around it. There was another note there. One that assured him he was safe, but that he had some things to find. He would have to use his senses in the clearing, and his wit. Grinning, his brother held the note to his chest, tucked it away and veered off the path and into the forest. Always accompanied by the lights.

 

 

Nie Huaisang made his way to the small clearing by a pond, a peaceful and beautiful sight that Nie Mingjue wondered why he never explored around these parts previously. Here, his brother looked around, taking note of everything that was around him. Stones, sticks, bushes, all things that should naturally be here. But the note had been mysterious and cryptic, and so he started looking.

 

 

He felt his heart skip when his brother knelt on the grassy ground to pick up a rock. His first pick, and he had already gotten it right. This one was hollowed out and contained a hair pin in red with jewels and silk dangling from it.

 

 

“Red…?,” Nie Huaisang wondered to himself. “Not really my colour but it’s pretty.”

 

 

While Nie Mingjue ’s heart was trembling in his chest, his brother continued searching. After having pushed the pin into his hair of course. Hidden between branches of a tree was a red pouch, one he used his qinggong to get, but knelt down to open. A bracelet this time. Sitting on the ground he put it on, inspecting it in the low light. Zhou Yan had assured him it was of the finest making so he was pleased to see his brother smile.

 

 

Finally, he had to dig into the ground a little. Under a bush, where a small red ribbon pointed him in the right direction. Buried in a wooden box was a guan. Also red.

 

 

“Da-ge… what is all this?,” Nie Huaisang wondered, sitting down to re-do his hair with the new guan and pin. Then finally, Nie Mingjue let down another note, flying directly in his lap. This time he did not wait for him, and instead used his own qinggong to step to the last place they had prepared.

 

 

Now he was getting close, and he was getting nervous. He tried to smooth over his own robes, suddenly feeling a little self conscious. What if this wasn ’t how Nie Huaisang had imagined it? What if he was going too far…?

 

 

Then his gaze fell on that beautiful figure coming from between the trees. The lights were following him to keep his path lit, and so he downright sparkled with all that jewellery on him. It didn ’t match, but Nie Mingjue hardly cared about such things. He cared about the way his brother’s eyes widened with curiosity and delight seeing the little clearing before him.

 

 

They had opted for candles here. Tucking little talismans to them, they floated in the air around Nie Mingjue. Not too many, making the light dim enough to have a clear view of the starry sky above them. He himself stood before a small nest of pillows and blankets, by a small table with drinks and a small ceramic bottle of scented oil.

 

 

Nie Mingjue was what his brother wanted after all.

 

 

“Da-ge!,” Nie Huaisang shouted as he started running to him.

 

 

He took a step forward to meet him and held out his hands so that his little brother could jump into them, and he lifted to twirl him around. Only then did their lips meet for a passionate kiss - Nie Huaisang seemed to be pleased with what he had created here. Holding him tightly against his body, his brother ’s feet did not touch the ground. He didn’t plan on letting him go any time soon, rather holding him up under his behind. Then he let Nie Huaisang trace his cheeks and lips, looking down with a dreamy expression.

 

 

“Da-ge, you’re so romantic,” he sighed. “You really did it, just like I imagined!”

 

 

“It is?,” he sighed in relief. “Da-ge did not know if it would be…”

 

 

“Anything with da-ge is perfect,” Nie Huaisang sighed again and kissed his lips gently. “But this… even more so.”

 

 

As he snuggled against him, Nie Huaisang suddenly noticed his new bracelet again and pushed himself upright.

 

 

“Da-ge! What’s with these gifts? They’re so different from what you got me before.”

 

 

“Didi did not figure it out yet?,” his heart was threatening to jump out at the next words. “Didi… knelt three times.”

 

 

“Huh?,” Nie Huaisang tilted his head adorably.

 

 

“To the heavens, to family… to me…,” Nie Mingjue added, and as the realisation hit his brother, his eyes widened.

 

 

“Da-ge?! You can’t be serious?!” He suddenly punched against his chest - much more forceful than he had expected and so he set him down. Immediately his collar was grabbed and he was pulled into a messy kiss, as tears rolled down his brother’s cheeks.

 

 

“You told- me-,” he tried to get out in between kisses. “You wanted- to be mine-”

 

 

“I am, I am, I’m your wife!,” Nie Huaisang blurted out, wide grin so beautiful despite the tears. “Oh da-ge!”

 

 

Of course he did not quite kowtow. He didn ’t really do it with that intention but Nie Mingjue just wanted to fantasise. Even if his brother hadn’t been so enthusiastic, he could have just imagined. But he was squirming in his arms, unable to contain his happiness so that he eventually had to put him down and pull him into another embrace. To calm his brother and his own fluttering heart.

 

 

“It’s still alright if you don’t want to do it tonight,” Nie Mingjue told him, cupping his cheek. Those brown eyes had mesmerised him. He wanted to wake up to them every day. To the smile on his brother’s face.

 

 

“I do!,” Nie Huaisang insisted. “Da-ge, all our cuddling and kissing… Do you even know how horny I am?!”

 

 

“Really?,” he had to laugh at that even though he felt much the same. He took his brother’s hand to lead him down onto the nest he had set up here, surrounded by warm floating lights so that even when naked they would be comfortable. Right away his hand settled on his brother’s thigh. “Huaisang… I… am glad you are happy now.”

 

 

Promptly, Nie Huaisang plopped himself in his lap, straddling him. He then made sure that both his hands were on his thighs, his robes already shifting up a little.

 

 

“I can’t believe how sweet my da-ge has become,” he leaned in and whispered in his ear, then nipped his earlobe. Nie Mingjue’s body felt on fire. “And all I had to do was try to kill myself.”

 

 

He laughed but Nie Mingjue did not think it quite that funny. His grip tightened.

 

 

“Huaisang,” he warned. “Was it all a game to you?!”

 

 

Nie Huaisang sighed and pouted a little. He also did that wiggling thing that had been driving him crazy so many times before. Only now he could slide his hands under those robes to feel smooth, pale skin.

 

 

“Of course not! I was desperate!,” his brother replied. “I was just trying to lighten the mood…”

 

 

“Do… do not ever do that again,” Nie Mingjue leaned in closer. “Da-ge’s heart would break if he lost his didi.”

 

 

“Oh,” Nie Huaisang’s pout was lost, as was his smile. As if he only now realised just how deep Nie Mingjue’s feelings went. “Then why… were you always so mean?”

 

 

“Only because I tried to protect you,” he sighed. “It was wrong. I was wrong. Here…”

 

 

He lifted Nie Huaisang ’s chin and leaned in to kiss him. Chaste at first until they both couldn’t hold back anymore. He remembered his brother’s comment about being so horny, and he too felt the same way. Suddenly he grabbed him and pushed him back to lie down, himself towering above him. Now his brother would be able to feel just how aroused he was getting, how much he had been craving him all this time.

 

 

“Ah,” Nie Huaisang gasped and whimpered under him. “Da-ge that’s so big! How is it going to fit?!”

 

 

“Da-ge will make sure it will,” he rasped into his brother’s ear. “May I undress you?”

 

 

“Mnn, ah~,” Nie Huaisang gave a whimper and a nod in approval, and so he went to work.

 

 

His brother, after a while … giggled. It wasn’t his fault that he was wearing so many layers and that these robes were much more complicated than his own! Why did they have so many straps, anyway, and ribbons! Cursed ribbons! His fingers were far too clumsy to get it all apart without breaking it and so-

 

 

“Da-ge apologises,” he muttered, and used both hands to rip. Nie Huaisang’s giggling stopped, replaced with a pretty little o-face. And then, a blush.

 

 

“Da-ge is so strong,” Nie Huaisang muttered, breathing heavily. “G-go ahead!”

 

 

Grinning, Nie Mingjue yanked again and more fabric ripped . This way he could undress his brother easily, and quickly. Another yelp came from his lips when he then rather unceremoniously manhandled him to lie on his stomach. Finally he had a good view of that beautiful behind. The one he had been eyeing for years. Full. Plump. Perfect.

 

 

“Da-ge- Ah!,” Nie Huaisang shrieked when his brother’s big hands at first squeezed both cheeks, then pulled them apart so he could dive between them. “What is this?!”

 

 

“This is your da-ge taking care of you,” he replied. “Keep still. Didi needs to just enjoy.”

 

 

Ah this … this was heaven! The scent of his brother down here was so much more intense and he leaned in to press his tongue against that sweet hole, felt it quiver under him as above he let out a little whimper. He had only gotten a taste of these sweet sounds before but now they came freely from his little brother, and he vowed to find out just how many he could make! Soon enough, he lost himself in this act. Spending who knows how many minutes prepping Nie Huaisang with his tongue and fingers, pushing both as deep inside as he possibly could.

 

 

“M-mercy,” Nie Huaisang finally called out. “Oh d-da-ge I can’t anymore…”

 

 

Upon pulling away from his little brother he realised he had already come on the pillows underneath him, and Nie Mingjue had just kept going as he was too lost in him. Grinning, he brought his little brother into an embrace, holding him close.

 

 

“You already came? How sweet,” he chuckled. “I haven’t even had you yet.”

 

 

“Th- it- It’s not my fault da-ge’s tongue is so good!,” his brother complained. “I won’t be able to move!”

 

 

“That’s alright. I’ll take care of everything,” he replied, kissing his forehead. “Once didi feels up to the challenge.”

 

 

“Gosh I- I- that felt so good,” Nie Huaisang sighed. “Let me undress da-ge now!”

 

 

He looked like a curious kitten. A beautiful and sexy kitten, Nie Mingjue thought. Of course he let him. With those bright eyes and tilted head he would let him do anything! Unlike himself, his brother took his time, knees weak from the previous treatment he sat on the pillows as he instructed Nie Mingjue to lie down. The belt came off easily, as did the outer robes. Then, through the thinner inner robes, Nie Huaisang traced the lines of his muscles. Pecs, abs, even arms. The look in his eyes darkened.

 

 

“Huaisang likes what he sees?,” Nie Mingjue laughed.

 

 

“Mn!,” he was completely shameless in turn. Slowly, he pushed the inner robes aside, revealing tanned skin. “Da-ge is the most handsome in the whole world!”

 

 

He couldn ’t help but preen, sit up a little straighter so Nie Huaisang could undress him completely. With great satisfaction he saw those beautiful eyes widen further when it got down to removing his pants. Already hard, his erection pointed straight up when it was freed, and Nie Huaisang reached out for it. A small hand touched it carefully, then flinched back.

 

 

“It twitched!,” he giggled.

 

 

“It likes you,” Nie Mingjue joked, laughing along with his brother. “Go on. Touch it.”

 

 

So his brother did, now wrapping his hand around it for a careful first exploration. He had to bite on his lower lip watching this. Something about knowing that this was his brother ’s very first time being intimate with someone, to know that he would be the only one to have him, turned him on beyond measure. He really, really couldn’t wait much longer.

 

 

“Huaisang,” he said softly, taking the small ceramic bottle and handing it to his brother. “Why don’t you make sure it’s covered in this? Don’t forget a single spot.”

 

 

“Oh?” He tilted his head again in that adorable way, but took the bottle and opened to sniff it. A smile playing on his lips - of course Nie Mingjue had made sure that it was a scent that his brother liked! “Oh how lovely! Do I… just put it on the whole thing?”

 

 

Oh how adorable his didi was! He nodded, and wrapped two fingers around the base of his cock to keep it still. Then he watched his brother pour a little of the oil on his hand, then sweetly and gently he started to rub it onto him. That gentle touch alone was going to drive him crazy, and his fingers tightened. He had to pleasure his brother first before he was allowed to come!

 

 

“Didi… that’s it,” he encouraged him sweetly. “Very good. Lie back for da-ge now, alright?”

 

 

It had taken this … all of this change to their relationship for Nie Huaisang to finally obey him. But there was no guilt in his mind anymore, this had become so normal that it was simply an extension of that kiss they had shared quite some time ago. Now he just looked down at his beautiful brother, let his hands explore every curve, squeeze every bit he had wanted to squeeze for years.

 

 

“Perfect,” he mumbled.

 

 

Then he gently guided his legs apart, lifting them up to reveal that beautifully glistening hole.

 

 

“Da-ge, will it hurt?,” Nie Huaisang asked softly.

 

 

“Take a deep breath, stay calm,” he tried to soothe him. “Da-ge took care of you, so it should not hurt.”

 

 

“Mn,” his brother smiled and nodded, reaching out for him. Nie Mingjue was all too eager to be pulled down into another kiss. So sweet that he could not get enough of it. Then he watched his brother close his eyes and take a deep breath. “Alright, da-ge. I’m ready.”

 

 

He himself was struggling. Nie Huaisang looked up at him with such a trust in his eyes that he was ready to burst right then and there without even having penetrated him. So he took a deep breath and used more oil, poured it over the pink hole and his cock just to be sure. Only then did he finally breach his brother ’s entrance, holding both legs up as he did so.

 

 

Trembling, he tried to restrain himself and go slow. He had to focus on his brother! Seeing and hearing that small gasp come from his lips, he soothed him with words and gentle touches. Never before had he gone so slow. But his brother … for his brother everything was worth it.

 

 

“Didi…?,” he gasped, looking down to where he vanished in the tight heat of Nie Huaisang. “Alright?”

 

 

“Y-yes,” Nie Huaisang’s hands came to his arms, as if to try and find a place to hold on to. “Oh da-ge, it’s so big!”

 

 

“Huaisang can take it though,” he encouraged him, grinning as he pushed in a little further. “Look, it slides in easily. Like you’re made for me.”

 

 

“Ah- hah~ yeah,” his brother gasped, finally his hands found purchase in the blankets below him. “M-more! Da-ge give me more!”

 

 

Of course, his little brother ’s wish was his command, and so he kept going at that steady pace, revelling in just how good he felt around him. He knew at that moment that no one could nor would ever compare - and that he would never want anyone else either. His didi was all he needed.

 

 

Until finally, he had bottomed out, looked down to see his entire length vanishing inside his brother, who shuddered at the sensation. So he stilled, so Nie Huaisang could get used to this feeling, so he could also lean down and kiss him again. And again. Drinking in whimpers and moans each time he moved even just a little.

 

 

How? How could it feel so good already? How come this perverse pleasure of being with his brother was the best he ’d ever had?! Could it be… that this was the first time he was truly in love? Those big brown eyes reflecting his own gaze up at him, he was convinced that yes… yes this was it. How blind he had been in the past, to shun his sweet little brother just because he wasn’t the way Nie Mingjue was.

 

 

Like this, right here, Nie Huaisang was much better than himself!

 

 

“Huaisang, I’ll move a little,” he warned tenderly, then rolled his hips gently.

 

 

Oh. Oh! Nie Huaisang was loud !

 

 

Thank the gods they were in the middle of nowhere, with charms all around them protecting them from prying eyes and ears. And so Nie Mingjue did not hold back, not even a little. Well, he did start a slow rhythm, building up to something faster and harder because his little brother could clearly take it and even asked for it! With that lovely voice he babbled more and more, about how good it felt, about how much he loved his da-ge, sometimes incoherent things that he assumed were praises.

 

 

Nie Mingjue loved every second of it.

 

 

“Tell me how much you love my cock,” he groaned in Nie Huaisang’s ear, slowing down just to hear a whine from his brother. “Then I’ll continue.”

 

 

“I love it so much!,” Nie Huaisang immediately blurted out. “It’s so big and thick and fills me up so good! I’ve never felt this good oh, da-ge, I love you! Put a baby in me!”

 

 

Nie Huaisang ’s words were a single stream of consciousness and didn’t stop there, though Nie Mingjue was taken aback by them. Just a little. Then he simply realised how much they turned him on.

 

 

“Alright, didi, you’ll make an heir for me, won’t you?”

 

 

“Yes, yes!,” Nie Huaisang moaned. “Give me, give-”

 

 

A passionate kiss interrupted his brother ’s desperate cries for more. It felt as if drinking them in invigorated him, let him go on for longer, and harder. He had not touched himself in weeks, he had saved up so to speak - he would give his brother everything he wanted and more. Mark him completely from the inside… and out, as Nie Mingjue leaned down to nip his shoulder. Proceeding to finally suck a mark there that wouldn’t easily be hidden - at this moment he did not care.

 

 

Even if someone heard or saw them, he would not care. Nie Huaisang was finally his.

 

 

Nie Mingjue didn ’t just spill in him once. If his brother were truly capable of it, then he would surely walk away with a young master inside him after this evening. There was nothing more delightful than seeing his little brother’s face as he came, brows drawn together and beautiful lips parted in a long, drawn out moan. This would be difficult not to get addicted to.

 

 

And why would he fight it? Even his little brother was so eager for it, not letting him rest under the stars before wanting to go another round. For the third time, Nie Huaisang sat on top of him, and Nie Mingjue had the pleasure of watching him with a halo of night sky around that beautiful face.

 

 

When they were finally sated he held him close, stroking his hair while trying to be as tender as he could. It was not his strong suit but his brother deserved this treatment.

 

 

“Was it as you’d hoped it would be?,” Nie Mingjue asked softly.

 

 

“It was perfect. I love you, da-ge!,” he blurted out, hugging him even more tightly.

 

 

Though Nie Mingjue technically knew that they had to be careful and hide their relationship, his brother did get even more clingy around him. And somehow he could just … not tell him off. Not when those big brown eyes looked at him, pleading to just let him have another hug, another pat on his head. Just one more. And so he always indulged. Besides it wasn’t just his brother who enjoyed these touches.

 

 

These days it wasn ’t unusual anymore to see Nie Huaisang draped over his lap while he was discussing things with other sect members. His brother never really contributed anything to these discussions, but having him there relaxed Nie Mingjue a lot. He had not had a rage episode in months, and felt better than ever before. It even became a little easier to concentrate on politics, though he still complained to Wei when it became too much.

 

 

“Alright then, Sect Leader Nie,” Wei wore a faint smile as he glanced at Nie Huaisang in his lap. “I shall leave you to your business then, and take care of what we discussed.”

 

 

“Mn. Good. Dismissed.” Nie Mingjue finally turned to his brother, only to be pushed away when he tried to lean in for a kiss. This… had never happened before. “Huaisang?!”

 

 

“You’ve been ignoring me all day and now you want to kiss me?! As if!,” his brother pouted and crossed his arms, pointedly looking away.

 

 

“We’d been talking sect business!,” Nie Mingjue pointed out, shocked at this sudden change in mood. “Da-ge was busy!”

 

 

“Busy ogling Wei all day!,” Nie Huaisang muttered. “Couldn’t even spare a glance for his pretty didi.”

 

 

“Is that what- Wait… Not this again!?,” he suddenly had to laugh, earning a light punch from his brother to his shoulder. “I apologise! I do!”

 

 

He reached out and gently but firmly took his hands, making him turn slightly more towards him although Nie Huaisang was still pouting and avoiding his gaze. He himself had been a jealous man at times, but never would he have imagined his brother to be one every so often.

 

 

“Huaisang~,” he called softly. Then: “Didi~”

 

 

Slowly his brother looked at him again, but still scowled.

 

 

“There is no one else I would ever want to look at but you,” he continued. “Sadly, sometimes I do. Unless didi wants to take over the sect and deal with Wei. Then this da-ge will only look at you.”

 

 

“Hmph, well,” Nie Huaisang sighed. “I guess da-ge can look at him sometimes.”

 

 

Translation: No way in hell did his brother want to deal with any politics. Nie Mingjue laughed heartily and pulled him closer, not allowing him to turn away and pressed kisses all over his face. Until his gaze softened and he didn ’t look as angry anymore. Thankfully Nie Mingjue had tricks up his sleeve these days. Quite literally. He pulled out a small satchel from it and handed it to Nie Huaisang.

 

 

“I meant to give this to you over a romantic dinner but-”

 

 

Immediately his brother snatched it out of his hands and dug it open to find glistening jewels inside. Another golden chain meant to go in his hair and drape over his forehead, adorned with green jade - the colour that suited his brother best. These days too Nie Huaisang looked far more like a prince than a sect leader ’s brother. But they both enjoyed it this way.

 

 

Eagerly, his brother put it into his hair.

 

 

“Am I pretty?,” he asked, as he always asked whenever he got a new treat like this.

 

 

“The prettiest,” Nie Mingjue replied, leaning in to kiss him. But he did not stop there. His hands could never stop themselves. They wanted to grope and squeeze his lovely brother, slowly bringing them both into the mood and their kisses grew deeper.

 

 

Perhaps this was getting too risky. The hall was empty, and it was dark out, most disciples will have gone to their quarters or to bed already. Still, anyone could just walk in except … Nie Mingjue did not care. When his brother all too eagerly straddled him, his hands worked on their own again, undoing belts and ribbons to see that beautiful naked form of his brother.

 

 

“Didi will thank da-ge properly,” Nie Huaisang whispered into his ear, small hand reaching for his cock when they were both naked.

 

 

Rationally he knew that they should stop. Find their chambers. Pretend they were in this seat when they were not. But he couldn ’t. This whole situation got him rock hard, and his brother’s eagerness only turned him on more. And so he helped him, grabbed his beautiful thighs to lift him up and onto his cock where he slowly but surely took him in. His brother could take him in so well now.

 

 

This night, Nie Huaisang was absolutely wild. It was Nie Mingjue who had to hold on for dear life as he bounced on his cock, taking his own pleasure and giving just as much in return. The sight was simply intoxicating as he arched and moaned, leaning back so that he had to hold on to him and would not fall. Leaning in then, he assaulted those perky, rosy nipples that simply beckoned for him!

 

 

He was completely and utterly lost in his brother ’s perfect pleasure.

 

 

Spilling his seed inside him was a privilege that he would never again give up. Waking up by his side with his naked form on display only for him would be a sight he would never let go. It didn ’t matter anymore how wrong this was.

 

 

Who, after all, would ever be strong enough to go against them?

Notes:

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