Chapter Text
"So Sera just wouldn't shut up about spiders. She found them so creepy and felt sorry for them at the same time and would just not be quiet about how scary they were." Lucifer was the center of attention as everyone listened in on his stories of Old Heaven. Everyone had had a bit to drink, except Vaggie, though Charlie had stuck to only one glass of some fruity drink that was really more juice then alcohol.
Angel Dust lounged in an easy chair as Cherri did the same across from him, Husk leaning on the chair right above Angel Dust as Cherri had a nifty little demon sitting on one of the arm rests. Vaggie sat between Charlie and Lucifer on the couch, enjoying her time learning more about people she had only heard about as legends.
"Ha! Just wait til she discovers centipedes." Angel Dust grinned, before putting his glass aside. He'd recently been told he is, in fact, capable of not drinking even when it's available and was trying to put that into practice.
"She screamed when she saw one of those, anyways." Lucifer put up his hands, almost unable to contain his own laughter. "The thing is Prince eventually started kissing her anytime she brought it up. Just to get her to be quiet. Just 'I still feel we should redesgin spiders' followed by a smooch."
"Bet that shut her up." Cherri said, who had drained several bottles by now because she'd been told the same as Angel Dust but had yet to believe it.
"Nope. She talked about it more then ever to get kisses from him. Tricky little thing, but anyways eventually Micheal comes out all 'Hey Guys! Look at this!' and in his palm is this little huge eyed jumping spider doing a little dance and everyone's heart just melted. Even Zaph smiled a bit, and that guy, let me tell you, he never smiled."
"I wanna kill all the spiders." Niffty's added, but was ignored as Lucifer gave her a worried sidelong glance before he continued. "But you know what? Sera still didn't stop. In fact eventually she started saying the word 'spider' as a way to get Prince to kiss her. He knew what she was doing. It was fucking adorable."
"Awww!" Charlie's eyes went wide as she imagined how cute they must have been before the whole going mad and killing everyone in sight thing happened to Prince.
Vaggie leaned back on the couch, and put an arm around Charlie, looked into her eyes and said "Spider."
With a blush, and with some embarrassment, she leaned over and gave Vaggie the most chaste but sweetest kiss in Hell. The two were never much for public affection, they liked to remain much more private about things, but right now it just felt right.
For his part, Lucifer stayed quiet and just enjoyed the fact his little girl had met someone who could keep her happy.
The moment was only slightly interrupted by Angel Dust looking over at Husk. "Spider."
"In your dreams fluffy boy." They both smiled at each other, both more amused by the rejection then upset.
"In my defense, they're very sweet and beautiful dreams." Angel Dust grinned at Husk as he lounged on his chair, and was surprised when Husk coughed into his hand and blushed instead glared, but decided not to push it further. At least, not when so many people we're about. Teasing was more fun in private.
"Honestly it was good times for the most part up there." Lucifer looked down at his glass as he got lost in nostalgia. "Zaph and Mike use to fight a lot. Both enjoyed fighting, so they'd fight over petty things, and Gabby had to get between them to push them apart, just like me and Sera earlier. You did good Charlie. I'm proud of you. Honestly I think you did more to stop Prince then the rest of us combined."
"Thanks dad, but uh, shouldn't you be out there dealing with the aftermath? I mean, how did Prince even get here?"
"You know, it's weird. Apparently the guy shot a hole from Heaven, to Earth, to Hell. I didn't even know you could do that."
Silence fell over everyone as Vaggie spoke up first. "So, there's a hole, in Hell, that leads to Earth?"
"Yeah huh." Lucifer began to take one last drink from his glass
"And uh, you don't think you should look into it before someone, you know, flies out?"
With a spit take and a shout of "OH FUCK!" Lucifer ran out the door
After a few moments of silence, Cherri looked over at Charlie "So, hey, your dad is sort of cute. You mind if I fuck him?"
"What? I-well, I um, you see, I guess well, the thing is you, you know what? No! No you can't fuck him." Charlie said, going from fumbling to actually saying no in record time.
"Can I fuck him?" Angel Dust asked, genuinely curious.
"No!"
"Can I?" Niffty asked, eye wide and teeth gleaming.
"Double no!"
"Two noes is a yes! I get to fuck Lucifer! Mewhehehehe!"
"No! No you-" Before she could finish Niffty was out the door. Charlie leaned back and let out a groan and fell back onto the couch. "Eh, he won't go for it anyways."
After a few moments of silence Husk said "...Can I fuck him?"
"You know what? Yes." said an exhausted Charlie.
"OH come on!" Angel Dust complained. "You're just saying that because you know he won't!"
"Yes, yes I am."
****
Gabriel's main goal was to defend Heaven, but he understood that Heaven needed Earth to function. That's why when demons crawled onto Earth from a giant hole in the Pride Ring Gabriel made sure they soon realized they made a mistake.
He held his sword up high and without hesitation began to cleave asunder any demon who dared poke their head above the hole to Hell, many of them tried to climb back towards it, cowering as the large Angel moved with speed and grace as fascinating as it was frightening.
"Wait, please, I was just-I just wanted to see my kids again, man!" One demon begged as he crawled back from Gabriel.
Gabriel shook his head. "I am sorry, but Justice must be done. You did something wrong, knowing it was wrong."
The demon cringed, closing his eyes and silently sobbing, only to feel Gabriel swing his foot at it, slam into it and crush its body into a pile of bones and meat as it fell back towards Hell. As it flew past Lucifer all the demon could think about was how incredibly the pain he was in was.
Later on he'd reflect on the fact he was one of the only survivors.
A few did try to fight back, embolden by the victory at the Hotel but confidence could only take one so far. One swung an Angelic Steel dagger it had been hiding, ready to strike Gabriel from behind only to be struck by a cane and thrown down into the pit again.
Lucifer waved "I think that's all of them, Gabby." He grinned at Gabriel, still awash in nostalgia and alcohol.
Gabriel narrowed his eyes. "Not all of them, Lucifer."
"Relax. I'm going back right no-" He didn't have time to finish before Gabriel kicked him in the chest and knocked him back towards the hole. It'd had been impressive had Lucifer not just grown wings and flew above the hole. "Calm the fuck down, asshole! I'm going!"
Lucifer went down below as suddenly a golden seal began to form around the hole, from the outer ring towards the center.
As it slowly covered the hole as Lucifer looked at Gabriel, and snapped his fingers, making his own seal, though his more red and fashionable.
"I see. Making your own seal? Do you not trust us, Lucifer?"
"You literally just kicked me in the chest."
Gabriel nodded. "Fair enough. Go back to your hole, Lucifer. This world is not your own."
"And its not yours either."
Gabriel's eyes narrowed, and as gold and red sealed the hole closed, he turned away and flew back up towards Heaven.
"Freakin' Jackass." Lucifer lowered back down to the ground and landed next to a short one eyed demon woman who'd been waiting for him.
"Charlie said we should have sex!" She shouted in a joyful and psychotic way.
"No, she didn't." and Lucifer walked away from the wilting one eyed psychopath.
He had work to do.