Chapter Text
They were far from the Really Really Bad Lands now. It had honestly been a bit of a disappointment for Millie, who noted the lands were much safer since she was a kid. She even saw a group of Sinners working on the edge of the land to remove the more dangerous garbage and deal with some of the local wild life. "So, anyone know how those guys got here?"
"Well, I have wifi again, and according to the news apparently there was a big deal struck between heaven and hell." Moxxie had been browsing news feeds for hours. Loona had been in the bathroom on her phone so no one would interrupt her. Everyone had agreed it was best to leave her be after she threw a roll of toilet paper at such speed that it somehow bruised Blitz's face.
"I thought they couldn't even physically enter other rings." Said Blitz who was rubbing his face. "How did Cain even get down here?"
"Stopping me from doing something only works in the short term. Also I was buried in cement until I wiggled enough to break down the concrete and fall down towards the lower rings." Said Cain from the driver's seat as he rolled to a stop.
"That sounds made up." Moxxie said as he tried to do a quick fact check on his phone to see if that was even possible.
Cain didn't bother defending himself. He just stood up, stretched out and headed out the door. Loona heard the door open, peaked her head out, and suddenly everyone followed Cain outside.
He was standing in front of a dark cave. Very dark. Unnaturally so. "Ya'all got flash lights?"
Everyone held up their phone. Even Lute, who still had her old one from Heaven that was basically useless now.
With a wince, Cain reminded himself how much he hated modern times. He'd always hated modern times. Even way back thousands of years ago when they first invented sliced bread. Regular bread was fine. Why did they need to slice it? He was the sort of man who only approved of things that happened, not things that were happening.
They took what weapons they could from the RV, Blitz even grabbing the last of the grenades. Leaving it behind they walked into the dark tunnel. The flashlights did little to add light, and mostly just made the darkness more pronounced. It was like a fog was around them, the light only going so far. When Lute attempted to reach for a wall, she found none, and nearly fell over. She managed to avoid it, she didn't want to fall down in a place like this. It gave the distinct impression you might never get back up.
"Uh..." Moxxie had checked their location on his phone. "We are very very close to a place we shouldn't be." When he looked up, he realized he was alone and started to follow them. "Guys, we're very close to-"
Suddenly it was like the fog was gone and they saw a huge and dark and empty room made of gold and marble and darkness. Various statues were around. Either of a tall, bull headed monster with four eyes, or various demons and angels with expressions of terror and fright. Some were in the process of dying, some were far more detailed then any statue should be.
Some were weeping blood.
With a strangled little voice Moxxie said "Satan's palace."
Everyone suddenly huddled together, back to back, even Cain. Cain was immortal, but that'd probably just make Satan more eager to try out new and creative torture on him.
Millie swallowed. "So uh, I have a brother who works here. That should help."
"Mm. Makes sense." Said Moxxie as he eyed a particularly gruesome statue of an Angel pleading for its life as it's mid section poured its insides outside.
"How does that make sense?" Lute said in a quiet, but harsh whisper. She was filled with fear and anger. She needed someone to lash out at and Moxxie was an easy target. At least until Millie got involved.
"Every sixth child born in the Wrath Ring becomes a servant of Satan. Millie has three brothers and also Sallie Mae."As he took a closer look at his surroundings what really bothered Moxxie was the lack of life. No bugs, no dust, it was sterile and clean in the most frightening way.
"His name's Danny. Still sends us cards for the family reunion. Says its pretty nice here. Miss him sometime. Even invited him to our wedding but he didn't come." She frowned. "Haven't seen him since he came here actually. If you see a guy with white hair and one horn that's him. Don't say anything about the horn, he's very sensitive about i-" She swallowed as she found a statue that somehow looked exactly like her, pleading and weeping blood. "What th-?"
"Why does that statue look like me?" Said Blitz as he looked at it.
"No, pretty sure thats me" Said Lute as she looked at it with the rest.
Everyone looked at the statue that looked like them weeping blood and pleading. After a bit Lute said "Yeah, we're leaving."
They turned around. The tunnel was gone. The walls were made of some dark and smooth stone. They realized they were not in a cave anymore, or even close to it. One thing they did see was a man. He was standing there, holding a familiar bow. Abel was facing away from them.
"He's not going to have a face." Said Loona. "I've seen these movies he's not going to have a face."
Cain shouted at him. "Hey! Abel! Show your damned face!"
Abel turned around. He had a face. It was even his. "Oh. Hey Cain. Did you see the statue of me over there? Its so cool!"
Everyone was struck quiet for a moment. In Abel's hand was the bow, his arm dangling as if useless and broken. Cain approached Abel slowly. "Abel? Have you taken a good look at the statue?"
Abel looked at it, walked around it, and grinned "Hell yeah. looking handsome."
"It's literally you pleading for your life with bleeding eyes."
"Wait, it's crying?! I don't fucking cry!" Abel suddenly aimed his bow, and it began to glow brightly, far brighter then one would expect. The demons had to look away, Lute felt her skin burn, and Cain did too. It surprised him so much he didn't know how to react. He hadn't felt anything like burning in so long that he thought it was a new type of pain before primal memories reminded him of the time his mom let him touch the camp fire.
Abel fired it, the arrow glowing brightly and destroying all in its path as it left a hole in the palace. The statue was gone.
Cain looked down at himself. "That burned. I ain't felt burning in, I can't even remember. Abel, the fuck is that thing?"
"Been feeding it." Abel turned towards them, his expression was odd, eyes unfocused and grin vacant.
A deep sense of dread began to grow in the room. Torches lit up, lighting the darkness, and in it various demons stood. Their eyes hidden by golden plates that seemed to be attached to their faces, their bodies covered in golden plates that acted as armor. It seemed stuck to them, built into them.
One of them was an imp with white hair and one horn.
"Danny!" Millie shouted, moving between everyone and the demons. "Okay uh, I know this looks bad but-"
Danny spoke. His voice mellow, and leveled. "Oh, hi Sis. What are you doing here?" He didn't move otherwise. His body completely still.
"Oh uh, it's a long story, listen, we should probably just go, ya know?" Millie approached Danny slowly, she looked at the gold plates that seemed somehow wielded into his skin. "Are these attached to you...?"
"Don't worry about me, sis. Everything is fine. Don't worry, I can show you how to leave." He didn't move a muscle besides his mouth. His eyes covered by the golden plate.
Walking forward, moving next to Millie, Moxxie put a hand on her shoulder as he looked at Danny. "Hi Danny. Do you remember me. You went to our wedding...?"
"What? No h-" Millie began but Moxxie nudged her gently.
"Yes! I remember! I liked the cake." Danny began.
Millie felt a cold chill come over her, her heart suddenly sinking.
"Yes, it was very good. Do you remember what sort of cake we had?" Said Moxxie.
"Yes, it was very good." Danny said without hesitation.
"Yes, it was a very good marble cake." With a firm grip on Millie's shoulder, in case he needed to hold her back, Moxxie continued.
"I do love me a marble wedding cake."
Millie began to shake, stepping forward. "Danny, the cake was chocolate, and you weren't there."
"Oh, right. My bad. My memory isn't what it use to be." Danny admitted. He hadn't moved. His tone had not changed.
Taking in a breath, Millie said "Danny, whats my name...?"
"Don't be silly, I know your name" Danny continued.
"Say it." Mille demanded, firmly.
"Don't be silly." Danny said. "I know your name."
"And the name of our brothers?"
"Yes, All four of them."
Millie stepped back, her hand over her mouth. He knew about Sallie Mae. He sent cards. They sent him cards. She started shaking. Moxxie looked at her, ready to offer whatever support he could. Millie didn't get sad often, she mostly got angry. It was what he loved about her, but right now he wondered just what she'd direct that anger at.
"Family reunions are always difficult, are they not Millie?" Said a deep down voice from a dark shadowy form with four eyes and a bovine head. Satan towered over all of them, and as he loomed there, Millie turned towards him.
"I'll kill you!" She suddenly charged at him, grabbing Lute's sword on the way past her as Lute shouted "Woah! Wait a second!" but Millie wasn't about to wait. This thing had done something to Danny. It had done something to all these demons.
"Abel, if you would." Said Satan as Abel moved with surprising speed, the sword slamming into the bow as his foot went up and kicked Millie away. Without hesitation he pulled out an arrow to fire it at her, only for Lute to come in and try and stab him with her spear. He ducked, rolled away, and swung the arrow at her where it nearly cut along her wrists before she backed away.
Millie and Lute charged at him at once as he moved with a fluid, limp motion where he ducked, dodged, and rolled. The few times the weapon came close he used the bow to smack it away, but he never got a chance to fire it. He swung the arrow at then, tip barely missing them anytime he swung it at them.
As Blitz watched he reached into his bag of various weapons, took out a large mace, slammed it into a nearby statue, shattering it, and suddenly charged forward, swinging downwards towards Abel who leaned back. The mace smacked into his foot, hard, the floor cracking under it but Abel kept moving as if nothing had happened.
He'd had worse pain. Almost weekly, really.
Cain was busy watching, more worried for the imps and Lute then Abel, and as he looked over he saw Moxxie aiming his gun at Abel. Before he could shout "NO!" and stop him, Moxxie fired directly at Abel's head.
Abel wasn't faster then a bullet, but if he knew were it was coming from he could take measures to minimize damage. Even just the click of a trigger being pulled was enough to alert him these days and as he heard one, heard where it came from, Abel grabbed Blitz suddenly, pulling him forward and moving him in the way of the bullet. It nearly hit him before Lute's wing got in the way, and Lute cried out as the bullet hit bone, stopping it. Shoving Blitz into Lute, Abel prepared to fire again, only to have to dodge an incoming axe as Millie kept up the attack, but Millie was quickly knocked away with a swift punch to the face. Loona attempted to tackle him from behind but he just ducked, and grabbed her as she flew overhead and threw her into Millie.
All of them took a breather, as Abel grinned. "Wow. You girls are good. You single?"
The problem Abel didn't realize was that without the others attacking, there was no one to grab and use as a shield. With a cry of "She's married you dunder head!" He fired a second bullet. It went through Abel's ankle and he fell down, shouting angrily.
"Enough. We are accomplishing nothing. Cain, it is good to see you. As a thank you for bringing you to me, I will not add these demons to my collection. Now then, Cain? I have need of you." Satan turned towards Cain, his form still looming. Still towering. Still darker then the darkness surrounding him.
"Yeah, not happening." Cain put a hand on his stone knife. Cain the Slayer of Sin was starting to sound like an attractive title.
"Dude, relax." Abel used the arrow to remove the bullet and patch himself up. "You don't even know what we're planning."
"Uh huh." Cain said with a distinct lack of enthusiasm. "And what plan is that?"
"Killin' God."
Silence fell over the room. Even the demons recognized this as something truly insane. Lute, who had planned to go to Heaven and start a massacre, was even struck speechless.
After a moment, Cain said "Alright. I'm in."
Lute turned towards her, shouting "Are you insane?!"
"We should let these guys in on it too. Been useful. Hell, they kicked Abel's ass." Cain side eyed the rest of them. The truth was he liked them as much as he was capable of liking anyone. They had a way of growing on you. Like mold.
With a glare Abel shouted "Did not! The bullet did!"
Satan turned towards imps. Millie was still near foaming at the mouth, but she wondered, briefly, if working with him could save Danny.
"Why would I want this rabble?" He said, in a deep, uninterested voice. "A broken circus clown who's burned all the love he's ever been given into ashes, a fallen mafia prince as soft as he is brittle, a violent simpleton satisfied with the muck she's been privileged to have given to her, a dog so unwanted she does not even want herself and Adam's used up whore that was broken and pointless long ago?"
"I'm not a whore!" Lute shouted. The others had somehow felt those words hit them, deep down. Somehow pushing past the emotional defenses of a lifetime, and deeply consuming them. It wasn't just the words, but memories began to flood them. All their failures, all their trauma. The loss and self destructive habits that harmed what could have been great. The times when one was too weak, too soft, everyone's punching bag. The feeling that you deserved less then you had, that it wasn't earned. The feeling of never belonging, and never being wanted, and barely tolerated.
"What? Dad called you that all the time." Abel said, though not in a malicious way, which made it so much worse.
Lute looked between Abel and Cain, and Cain actually looked away. "I honestly didn't even know your name until I overheard another Exorcist call you Lute."
Just like that, everything Lute was ever proud of was finally shattered.
Just like that, a part of all of them was shattered. Blitz had been quiet as all this went on, too overwhelmed to speak, but as he looked at his coworkers he saw his daughter.
Loona had tears on her face, and suddenly there was gun fire.
As the all eyes turned to Blitz, even the Sin he had shot, and the bullet rolled on the ground pointlessly the noise of the gun fire echoed for just a moment when the silence fell on them and as it did Blitz finally spoke up and explained the eloquent logic that lead him to this fruitless but pointed act.
"You're an ass."
Satan watched the bullet for a moment, before raising his head towards them. "Interesting. Ki-" Another bullet rang out, this one making the Sin screech an ungodly screech as Moxxie went to reload his gun. "That was number five." He said as he loading in bullet number four.
With all four eyes narrowing, Satan swung his hand towards the group of them and the demons around him, in their golden armor, charged. As they did their forms changed. Their limbs twisted and mangled, their bodies growing muscles, often in places were no muscles belonged. Danny's horn grew longer, twisted around his body, as his foot faced the wrong way and his arms became massive and bulbous with misplaced but still very strong and very real muscles.
Millie quickly grabbed Danny as he charged, slamming him onto the ground as Lute pushed a statue on top of him, pinning him down. She gave Millie a thumbs up, and went on the attack.
The servants of Satan had a single minded determination to kill, charging without care for their own safety, which suited I.M.P. and Lute just fine since they didn't care about their safety either.
Their warped and twisted bodies were surprisingly strong, but not very resilient. One threw a statue at Loona, who ducked away and fired a shotgun she'd gotten from Bltiz's bag at their face. A swing of a massive clawed hands that left damage on the floor, but a single stab to the chest from Lute's spear brought that one down.
As Satan turned to walk away he felt a sharp pain in his back, and with a growl deep in his throat he heard someone from the fight say "That was number four."
Cain and Abel watched on the side likes. Abel was swaying slightly, eyes unfocused. Cain put a hand on his shoulder to steady him. "This probably ain't a good idea."
"Hey, we'll be fine. We ain't even got the person in charge here yet. When she gets here, we'll get it alllll woooorked out." He grinned at his brother. "Wanna go fight them together?"
Cain shook his head. "Nah, kind of hoping they get out of this. Ain't a bad group, far as demons concerned."
Abel shrugged, his arm still limply holding the bow, his grip on it a death grip. The way the arm swung suggested it was not okay.
"Three!" Shouted someone as Satan began to loom over the battle field. That bullet had hit him in the head, and made a small wound that quickly closed up. "They're fucked, you know." Abel said. "Satan there? He heals like, super fast, actually I'm not even sure its healing. Think the guys made out of, I dunno, something not normal? He just pushes himself back together, ya know? Like clay."
Cain considered this for a moment, and looked at Blitz's arm. He knew what he had. He'd been around long enough to recognize what it was. Taking out his knife, he nodded to Abel. "You just stay here. No need to get involved with your new found ankle wound and all."
"Yeah yeah, I'm just going to watch this shit. Ugh." Abel leaned back and fall onto his back, looking upwards as Cain rushed forward. His knife swung over Blitz's head, nearly hitting his horn as Blitz shouted "Great! As if we don't have enough problems! Immortal or not bucko, I'm kicking your ass!" He rammed Cain with his head, slamming Cain into a wall with his horns as nearby Moxxie tossed his Gun to Millie.
She loaded it up and fired it again, hitting Satan in one of his eyes as he turned to look at her. She shouted "That's number three!" and tossed the gun back to Moxxie before suddenly charging at Satan with Lute's sword.
It was a mistake. Satan's hand grabbed Millie from behind, the hand almost separate from his massive body as it lifted Millie into the air and slammed her against the walls and floor, helpless in his hands even as the sword cut against him in his grip. Her body being crushed by it.
From above a spear came down, slamming into Satan's head and slipping deep down into his forehead and neck as Lute shouted "Let her go!" Satan's Head slowly turned around, another bullet going through it as Moxxie shouted "T-two...?"
Satan smiled. The bullets fell out of him, and he tossed Millie away and onto the ground as he grinned a fang filled grin at Lute. "I regret to inform you." Black spikes erupted from Satan's body, Lute dodging only a few of them as she fell to the ground, covered in cuts. Satan reached up, pulling the spear out of him as he looked down at her. "It was never a fair fight."
Looking up at Cain, a foot on his chest, Blitz saw the knife stab next to his head as Cain glared at him. "Get the hell out of here, already!" He said through clenched teeth as Blitz kicked him off, glared at him, and began to lick the crystal on his arm. The portal opened up, Loona rushing over with Moxxie as Millie was held over Loona's shoulder. Moxxie shouted "Lute! Get over here! We're leaving!"
Lute flew over, as best she could, bleeding and wounded as she smacked the army of Satan away before one stood over her, growling out until a bullet went through its head. Moxxie muttered "Last one..." as Blitz fired two more bullets at some approaching demons from some pistols he'd grabbed from his weapon's bag as he tossed it into the portal. "I'm out. Come on Lute! I'm willing to leave you behind, but these fucks wouldn't shut up about it so get moving!"
Finally reaching them, she grabbed at Blitz, glaring at him. "Just give me a fucking second! I'm bleeding all over and I just found one the man I loved didn't think of me as anything more then a whore!"
"You get use to it, sister!" Shouted Blitz as he grabbed Lute and bodily threw her into the portal. "We're out!" Before he left Blitz tossed the grenades behind him, preventing any of the demons from following them as all around the portal dramatic explosions made sure nothing was left alive before it closed. The room was a mess, statues broken, the floor cracked apart. Satan looked at the ruins, and with great joy realized he'd have to rebuild and that meant finding new future statues. One of his eyes was slightly hurting him, blood seeping from it. It didn't seem to bother him. Turning towards a darker area of the room, a large circle made of white and gold lit up. "I am quite glad you are here, Cain."
From the shadows Alastor took a step out, if he was there the whole time not even Satan knew, but he was there now.
"Everyone but the Angel and The Replacement are here." The middle of the circle began to light up, and Cain took a step back, glancing at everyone around him. His brother had a vacant expression. More then usual. Finally, Cain found his voice. "The hell is going on...?"
Satan turned towards him, leaned down, until all four eyes looked into his eye. "Change..."
***
On earth, three imps, a hell hound and a fallen looked up from a pile of wounds and exhaustion they formed. The music all around them loud, people shouting and cheering, barely noticing them among the celebrating.
A sign across a nearby building proudly stated it was Madri Gras. All five of them slowly stood up, Millie with the help of Moxxie.
"...I can think of worse places to be." Mumbled Blitz as he rubbed his forehead. "Come on. Lets go find those weirdos who hang around places like this waiting for someone to OD. They can patch us up."