Chapter Text
"When was the last time you took a shower?"
Vox ignored this question as the other Vs sat behind him, watching him stare at the screens in front of him, before turning around. "Look! Something is going on!" He pointed to a screen that showed a recording of Alastor grabbing Prince's Bow. "He's been up to something, and not just this!"
The second recording had Alastor's powers covering the hotel as Angels slammed into it, bleeding. "He can hurt angels! No one in hell should be able to do that except the big Sins themselves! Also, look at this!"
Another recording came up, he put it on the big screen. Alastor approached Charlie, who had a large barrel with many many warning labels on it. With his usual grin he said "Allow me, Charlie, to take this garbage out for you."
With an awkward smile Charlie avoided eye contact like a professional. "Ah, well, see, the thing is there are a bunch of Prince's arrows in here, and since we lost the bow, well, we sort of need to get them disposed of before they fall into the wrong hands?"
Alastor leaned in closer. "Oh? And who's hands would that be?"
"Errrr, listen, there's other trash. Just go ahead an-"
Without waiting further Alastor reached into the barrel with his grab stick and grabbed an arrow.
"Woah, no, okay, Alastor you're my friend bu-" Charlie began, but before she could finish Alastor said "Forget." and snapped his fingers.Charlie's eyes glowed briefly green as she began to walk away with the barrel, minus one arrow. A small wisp of memory escaped Charlie's mind, one that Alastor grabbed in his hand and held onto, putting in his pocket.
Vox slammed his fist down on the console "See?! That was a contract going off! He had the Princess of Hell under a contract and used it for that?! Somethings going on and I've tried to get an arrow myself but the damn things are nearly impossible to find!" He slammed his fist down again and began to pace as Valentino and Velvette watched him. "Something is going on and no one seems aware of it but me!"
"You might just be crazy." Velvette mumbled to herself.
He turned towards her, getting far too close for her comfort, finger in her face. "No! I'm not! I've been watching things! Things have been happening! I've seen far too many cloaked figures! Cloaked figures holding teddy bears! There was a group of assassins heading into the Really Really Bad Lands! They returned with Sera, the Seraphim of Heaven, herself! In a portal!"
Taking in a deep breath he began to walk back and forth, brain working overtime as it fried itself to a crisp. "Someone is up to something! Some mastermind!"
"That'd be me."
"And I think it's Alastor! I think he's plotting something, or, even worse, he's under contract by some nefarious force!"
"I mean, I prefer sinister but yeah."
Vox stopped, and looked towards the three people Velvette and Valentino were already looking at. A woman with rich brown skin, and bright green eyes, and long orange hair wearing a dress of brown and bright metallic green. A pale skinned man with wispy grey hair, an easy smile, and very tired eyes holding a bow in a hand with an arm that swung as if broken. He wore jeans and a slightly strained T-shirt, and finally a man who looked like he twenty going on forty in newly bought leather pants and big leather boots with long hair, long beard, and absolutely no shirt, holding a stone knife that looked almost as primitive as he did.
"Okay, who let this lady and her two homeless friends in here?"
Eve put a finger to her lips. "Yeah, I mean, I got Cain some new clothes but I should really get Abel something. Anyways, hi! I'm Eve!" Eve floated towards him, she often floated these days, the ground was for not soon to be deities.
"Uh...huh. Eve. The mythical Eve from Eden." Vox said, disbelief clouded his tone. "You really expect me to believe that?"
"I mean, I don't care really, I know who I am, but listen, you're probably won-Abel that girl just called security please take care of that." Eve said without taking her eyes off Vox.
"Can do!" Abel said and as soon as security came in his bow went off and shot the two of them in the face. Both went down, clawing at the arrow in their faces, in too much pain to even scream properly as they fell.
The thing about Abel is most people took time to assess the situation before resorting to violence.
Abel had the unique ability to resort to violence without a second, or even first, thought.
After a moment Vox said "Yeah, fuck this." And suddenly gathered lightning in his hand, sending it forward as Cain moved in front of Eve. As the jolts of lightning fried and destroyed the room around him, as everyone else but Eve, shielded by Cain, found cover, Cain walked forward. "You think this is the first time I've been hit by enough lightning to destroy a small city?" Eventually he got close enough to throw a decent punch at Vox's face, knocking him over.
"Okay, enough of this shit" Valentino spread his wings, crying out as his teeth and claws grew sharp, only to feel an arrow hit his throat. He clawed at it, gasping and wailing as he fell to the ground, withering about as Velvette headed towards him. She tried to grab it but it burned her hands. "Ow! Fuck! The fuck!"
She stood up, suddenly taking out a selfie stick. Glaring at them, she put on a cute little pose and took a picture of herself.
Eve watched, curious. She had to admit she admired the attitude. That's when a second Velvette appeared. Then a third, and a fourth, and for every selfie a new one appeared.
"Neat. Hey! Abel! Over here big guy! I need to talk to Monitor Head over here." Eve said cheerfully
Abel rushed forward and suddenly one of the duplicates was hit in the face with an arrow he held in his hand. As he fought in the background Eve headed towards Vox and Cain. "Hey, so, I'm already a bit pissed off. I came here expecting three overlords and now I'm only going to get two, so I'm going to suggest you listen, sweetie, before its zero. 'Kay?"
Vox, still on the ground from Cain's punch, crawled backwards away from them before standing up. He looked over at the other two. Valentino still struggling, like a dyeing insect, and Velvette kept busy as her other selves died almost as fast as she could make them. "Oh fuck. Fuck! Okay, okay, what do you want?"
With a wave of her hand a contract appeared in front of Vox. "Ta-da!" Eve shouted. "I just need help, details in the contract."
Grabbing it, Vox began to read. "Okay, and if I sign thi-" A head of one of Velvette's copies flew by him, and he paused for a second to watch. "You'll get that damn arrow out of Valentino, right?"
"Huh? I mean sure but he's still going to die. Not really any coming back from that."
After a moment, Vox shouted "What?!" The contract burned in his hand as his electricity turned it into ash. "If he dies you can forget about any help from us!"
With a finger to her lips, Eve thought for a moment. "Got an idea, but might be tricky. HEY! ABEL!" She shouted at her son, who was still fighting Velvette. "That guy on the floor dying said he thinks you're pretty fucking amazing! The coolest warrior ever! also everyone should say Abel and Cain!"
"Wait, really?!" Said Abel as he ducked under some throwing knives Velvette had on her person, before he caught one, kicked another copy in the stomach and stabbed it in the face.
Valentino began to calm down, his breathing steadied.
"Ah, yeah!" Said Vox, with an awkward smile. "He said you should be in movies! Heck, he even does movies! He'd love to have you in one!"
"No fucking way!" Abel said with a grin as Velvette backed off, looking between Valentino and Abel. All at once all her copies said "Uh, sure. He said you have great potential and your fame proceeds you as the biggest badass in Hell?"
Valentino grabbed the arrow, and very slowly, began to pull it out.
Cain spoke up. "He also said your dick is bigger then his and he has great admiration for it."
Eve had to close her mouth tightly to hold back her laughter as Valentino managed to pull the arrow out with surprising ease all of a sudden. He was still breathing heavily, and bleeding.
After he slammed a button on the console Vox shouted "Send a medic up here immediately!" He turned towards Eve. "So, the bow, it's powered by the owner's emotions...?"
"Its powered by none of your damn business, now then." With a grin that seemed plastered on her face she waved her hand and another contract showed up. "Sign this, or I'll just, I dunno, burn this entire building down with you all in it."
"Uh huh." Vox grabbed the contract, fully intending not to sign it. "You can do that, huh?"
"Uh..." Velvette pulled a curtain aside, and saw nothing but grey fire. She went to Vox' monitors, and knew enough to bring out an outdoor view of the building. It was surrounded by fire, fire that was slowly closing in. She saw a body on the ground, burnt to ash. "...That person looks super dead..." She felt a hand land on her shoulder, and growled up at Abel, who just held on tighter.
"Yeah, like, you can probably move through electronics or something cause like, that seems in line with stuff you can do? So I'm going to ask you don't do that, or like, I'll have to make life harder on both of us, and honestly you're sort of hot so I don't think we should do that."
She looked at him, then at Vox, then at Valentino who was currently being attended by two demons doing their best to keep him from bleeding all over the floor. She didn't say anything, but her eyes said it all. They said 'What do we do?'
As he speed read the contract Vox looked up at Eve. "You're kidding."
"No. Why?" Eve asked curiously, unsure of what part he was referring too. Most people just signed it because their choice was contract or death. She had to admit, she liked these three. They were arrogant, strong, proud and she was slightly jealous of Valentino's coat. Smarter then most. She felt that if she didn't have the advantage of raw power, she might not have been able to overcome them.
After a moment Vox summoned a pen. "Alastor works for you, right?"
"Yeah huh. I had to keep him in a basement for years and torture him before he gave in but he did eventually. I got a recording of it if you want."
"Sold!" Vox went to sign, but then stopped at the last minute. "When you're done, and this is over, and you give me back my freedom like it says you will after your conquest of Heaven..."
"Wait, heaven?!" Velvette said, suddenly paying much closer attention.
"I want to fight Alastor. One on one. Loser is gone, forever."
After a moment, Eve waved a finger, and a small clause was added to the end of the contract that said it would be allowed. Vox signed, Velvette signed, and when he finally could, Valentino signed.
After Eve and her sons left Valnetino rubbed his neck, unable to talk due to his injury. "Sooooo." Velvette turned towards Vox. "What exactly did we just get ourselves into?"
Vox switched the big screen to show a picture of Heaven's Embassy. "More power then we could ever dream of, Velvette. More power then we could ever dream of."
After a moment, Velvette said "We're not actually making a movie with that guy, right?"
"Hell no."
***
Zestial walked into a large, mostly empty, room. He liked places like this. They were dark and creepy and dangerous, and the knowledge that he made them even more dark and creepy and dangerous only added to his enjoyment.
Someone, however, was closely matching his ability to make a room more dangerous just by being in it. Alastor came out of the shadows, a smile on his lips, and nowhere else. " Zestial, my good fellow, you took my invitation."
"Odd place to be meeting, Alastor, but then again these are odd times. What is it you wanted of me?" Zestial kept his distance. He didn't come this far in afterlife by being too trusting, after all.
With a wave of his arm a contract formed in front of Zestial. Alastor had been under orders to attack, beat, hurt, and force Zestial into a contract, but despite everything he had great respect for the old overlord. He also wasn't sure he could beat him, even with Eve's aide, so he decided it was best to try a more honest approach.
"You can't be serious." Zestial leaned over and began to read, with no intentions to commit. "Interesting. This isn't even for you, is it Alastor?"
"I'm afraid not. You see, I found myself in trouble some years back, and trouble decided to recruit me. Now said trouble wants you and others on it's side. I must say, it's not a bad deal, Zestial, and as you'll read after our goal is accomplished you'll be free to do as you-"
"This is absolute madness." Zestial kept one pair of eyes reading, and the other on Alastor. "You are not this foolish, Alastor. We defied Heaven once, and now they have more influence in Hell then ever. Look at what they've already done. They're deeply involved in Hell's politics, they're slowly gaining power, they've retaliated against us and they didn't even need to put up a fight." He looked away from the contract, shaking his head. "I respect you, Alastor, but this? This is a fool's dream."
The worst part is, deep down, Alastor agreed, but he felt a chaffing on his wrist. The feel of invisible chains as his fingers twitched. Zestial did not miss this, and he frowned. "Oh, Alastor. What have you gotten yourself mixed up in?"
After a moment, Alastor finally spoke. "Talking to you with honest intent was plan B." His voice was deeper then usual, it wavered, as he realized how little control he had over what happened next. "I suppose it's time to resort to plan A."
Darkness. Two types of darkness. A mad eldritch darkness of blood and terror filled one side of the room. The other side filled with a cold and empty darkness. Void versus violence. Zestial threw open his cloak, thousands of sharp legged spiders with gaping mouths full of fangs crawled from him, tiny and dangerous.
Alastor swung his cane and dark tendrils lashed out, they slapped the spiders away even as they got overwhelmed by them. Claws formed on the ends of his hands as he charged forward, antlers on his head as he charged through the biting spiders as Zestial backed away, flying into shadows as webs formed in the room that Alastor cut through with little effort. Spider legs came out from Zestial's cloak, slamming into Alastor's claws and teeth as he bit and ripped at them.
"Interesting, you're much stronger with this contract. So, it's true. Someone from Heaven is involved in all this." Zestial screamed suddenly the loud noise driving Alastor back as his ears began to bleed and he landed on his side of the dark room. He took a moment to look at Zestial from across it, who spoke with more sympathy then most would think him capable. "Whatever you gained, you lost so much more..."
Alastor said nothing. Eve had given him so much more power, but his mind was slowly rotting into something wild and untamed.
Zestial suddenly found himself being assaulted by dark tendrils from all sides, he ducked and weaved around them as pumpkins with green fire formed in his hands.
He flung it at his attackers, exploding once they hit every attacker, revealing flaming skulls hidden within the pumpkins that went after Alastor next.
Alastor knocked them aside with claws and antlers as he grew bigger, and unstoppable as many of the skulls simply broke upon him. Snakes came from his cloak, biting onto Alastor, but it didn't stop him.
As snakes hung from his body, his suit on fire, skulls slamming into him, spiders crawling on his legs, Alastor dug his clawed hand into Zestial, ripping him apart.
The darkness receded, and Alastor stood there, slowly shrinking to his normal size, his suit torn apart. For just a moment, his smile didn't waiver, but it did grow very very small. Barely a grin.
"I'm sorry, old friend. I think, perhaps, I went a bit too far." He manifested his cane by his side, walking towards the exit.
If he noticed the small spider, glowing with green fire, slowly crawling away into the darkness, he pretended he didn't.
After all, he had offered a contract, used violence if needed, and as far as he knew he even killed Zestial when he said no.
Following orders. That's what he did.
That's all he intended to do, and as he walked out of the room he wondered how long it'd take for Carmilla to find out, well...
Everything.
***
It was rare for the Sins to gather around each other these days, but in the past it was almost common. Back when things were not so busy. Before Hell became an industry, a civilization. When things were just starting and they were learning how things worked and more importantly, who they were.
In the past the sins hadn't even settled into a role, and it would be some time before they did. It might be unsurprising to some that Envy was very indecisive. Currently calling themselves Haagenti and looking like a stick man made of wood wearing a long pink silk robe. They also identified as sadness, and have yet to decide on the whole gender thing. Most of them hadn't yet. Ozzie especially having a hard time settling on it, since there was so much lust to explore.
Beelzbub had gathered them together and held up a strange liquid in a bottle. "Guys! I've been talking to the mortal souls and they do this thing where they do this thing called fermenting and it makes their brains feel good! I decided to try it on some of my Beez Fruit with some honey from my Hell Beez and made this! I call it Beelzejuice!"
She passed out a bottle to each and every one of them, Mammom gave it a close inspection. "Really? That's the name you're going with? I'd call it something like Bee's Special Blend or whatever."
Everyone started trying some, and then more, and then more. Even Haagenti felt a bit happier, though expressed mild frustration at it not being their idea.
Everyone but Satan. Beez walked over towards him, and looking at the bottle in his clawed hand. "Come on big guy. Give it a try. Worried you might enjoy it?"
He looked down at it, curiously. Almost fearfully. She was right. He was afraid he'd enjoy it.
"You know you could work a bit on being a bit more relatable." Ozzie said, on their fifth or so Beezlejuice. "No offense man, but you're a total living stereotype of a demon. Loosen up a bit, man."
Satan tossed the whole bottle in his mouth and began to chew, glass and all, then swallowed. Bee crossed all four arms. "You know I was hoping to reuse these bottle."
"Hm. I should try being a bit more personable..." Said the sin of Wrath before suddenly he began to change. His skin turning red, the shadows fleeing, the basic shape staying the same, but the sharp teeth in his mouth better covered by his lips. His body all muscle and strength, but no longer shadows and void. "How's this?"
After a few moments of starring Mammon said "Dude. Pants."
With a wave of his hands stripped white and black clothes appeared on Satan, and for a moment, just that moment, he felt relaxed. "Alright. Hand me another. I'll drink it this time, gals and pals."
Satan thought on that memory as he waited.
Beelzebub rarely left her realm. It was her home, her eternal party, her place of worship and care. She sat across from Satan, at his palace, having hoped he hadn't been waiting too long.
The room was big, dark, but lacked the horrible statues most of his palace had. It was a place for visitors. There lava flowed and heat could be felt all around them but over all still better then the dark void filled with screaming stone and horror.
It also, Bee had to admit, had some of the best coffee she ever had. She sipped from it as Satan sat across from her, drinking some of her Beezlejuice. "It's nice to see you again, big guy. So why call me over here? Can't be just for company."
Satan smiled, a smile that was only slightly faked. There were few things he enjoyed. Misery, pain, horror, terror, more misery, but one of the less harmful things was Beezlejuice. For that reason, he liked Bee, as much as he was capable of liking anyone.
Which wasn't much at all really.
"Things been a bit crazy lately. Been talking to the Sins. We're coming up with a plan and need help." He waved a hand in front of her, and a contract formed.
She looked at it, confused. "What? Do you think I'm some sort of minor demon?"
"You don't have to sign. It's just to let you know what's going on. So far we've gotten Belphagor and even Lucifer behind us. We even have some Overlords. Give it a read, girl. It's important."
Bee took her time to read it, which was always worrying when it came to an agreement. Eventually she put it down, and looked Satan directly in all four eyes. "You're kidding, right? Going to war with Heaven? Right when we finally are starting to work with them? Satan, I know you're all dark and evil but this isn't dark and evil, this is just stupid."
He said nothing, but tilt his head up towards her, and eventually, after a moment of silence, he said "We have a way towards victory. We have a way to win and forever rule. We'd be stupid to not take it."
"Yeah, no. I'm sorry, but even if we win, what then? We rule? Rule what? I've seen millions of plans like this, usually by lesser demons, and it never ever has an after plan. What do we do once we take over? Just go back to normal? This isn't about conquering, it's about destruction."
After a moment, Bee's eyes went wide. "Oh." as realization dawned on her.
Satan didn't want to rule.
He wanted to destroy. It didn't matter what happened, as long as suffering happened. "...This is some Joker ass crap, man. I'm sorry, I'm out."
Silence slowly overcame them, as Satan stood up. "I am very disappointed to hear that. I like you as much as I am capable of liking anyone, but all the same I-" He barely had a second to back away as Beezlebub swing a clawed hand at him and suddenly flung herself back, all six limbs on the ground as she stared down at Satan. He looked back at her, teeth showing as he let out a deep growl that made his palace shake.
She wasn't stupid. She knew he was going to attack her. He knew he was going to attack her. "Let me go." She said. "Let me leave, and do what you have too. Alright?"
Satan looked at her for a short time. "I'm afraid letting you go was not part of my plan." Dark shaped exploded from his face, all with one of his eyes, four dark beasts shaped like wolves each with one eye of Satan. She looked at them, looked behind her, and opened her mouth, a hoard of bees flying from it to distract them as she launched herself into the darkness.
An eyeless Satan, stung, but unbothered, waved a hand towards where she ran, and the four wolves began to give chase.
Bee knew she'd been stupid to come to his palace. She knew it was a mistake. She didn't think he was this insane, though. She thought of him as a sadistic, monstrous maniac, but not like this. Not so mad he'd risk everything on a war they'd be doomed to lose.
She found herself surrounded by statues of people stuck in poses of agony and begging. She coughed, some bees coming out. They landed on the statues, and they began to move, they even regained color, not exactly alive but looking enough like living things. As the wolves came the statues did their best to fight them off, color returning, looking as they did in life again and with similar strength, but unfortunately Satan had beaten them once before, and this would be no different.
She turned away only to come face to face with a statue that looked just like her. She recognized magic when she saw it, but it was powerful magic. Slowly it occurred to her, leaving wasn't going to be as easy as she had hoped.
Light came over the room and Satan walked in, eyeless. "Don't worry, Bee. You will still help my plan." As the lights turned on Vox was sitting down on a nearby chair, watching all this with a deep interest as a camera crew caught it all. "After all." Satan began, his shape and form changing, his voice taking on the voice of a Seraphim. Bee stepped back, against her statue. The four wolves slowly changing into the form of Angels. She looked towards Satan, his form and voice the same as Sera's with her eyes closed. All four eyes. "The others will be so much more likely to help when they see this video of Heaven killing you for non-compliance, they'll be happy to help."
"You heard the man." Vox said with a grin. "Broadcast it."
It didn't broadcast all over Heaven, that would cause too much trouble, but with a bit of trickery it got where it needed to go, and the few hold out sins saw what happened next, though, of course, they didn't hear it.
Bee let out a bitter little laugh, a bee leaving her nostril as she shook her head. "Die here or die on a stupid crusade to destroy Heaven. Hell of a choice."
"Those are the only choices we have here in Hell, I'm afraid. Goodbye Bee. I will, in some odd way, miss you."
And then a bee landed on the statue that looked like her, and the statues of those he had frozen began to swarm...
***
They approached the building that belonged to the greatest weapon's dealer in Hell. Eve, her sons, Satan and Alastor. She felt she'd need a full force to recruit this one. "Remember guys and horrible monsters, we don't resort to violence unless she refuses over and over." She paused, finger on her chin. "Or I feel like it."
They approached a long, but not tall, building surrounded by a concrete wall. "Likely will at first, but she'll listen after a bit of a scuffle. She's like that." Said Cain as he approached the gates and found a lack of guards. He frowned, walked towards them, and grabbed the metal bars and gave them a shake. Then suddenly a burst of electricity hit him, fanning out around him, his hair singed as he stood there in horrific pain.
He was use to it though, so he shrugged and turned around. "Ya'all got something to knock this down?"
With a wave of a hand Alastor summoned tendrils of darkness that ripped the gate open, nearly hitting Cain in the process. Neither seemed to mind. Eve rushed in, shouting happily and screaming as her fire began to burn and singe all things around her, sending balls of flame around her as she laughed like a maniac.
"You know no one's here, right?" Shouted Cain from below as Eve slowly lowered towards the ground and frowned.
"The heck? I expected an army to fight. I was all amped up. Why is everything so empty?" She went forward, towards the building, knocked a door down with a quick burst of flames and walked into the complex.
The halls were empty. They hadn't left in a hurry, either. Everything was stripped bare. Eve floated ahead, her feet inches off the ground as she tossed a grey fireball in her hand to herself. "They knew we we're coming..."
"Could be she just moved. She does that sometimes." Cain ran his stone dagger along the wall, scrapping it as he looked around. He even flipped a light switch nearby, the room going bright.
Satan pressed a hand against the opposite wall, a growl in his throat. "No. She was here recently. She left, efficiently, but quickly."
"How the fuck do you know that?" Asked a curious Cain.
Eve floated towards Satan "He knows stuff sometimes and sometimes doesn't. Basically he doesn't know things unless he thinks about it. So he can still be surprised and sometimes just doesn't know even if he thinks about it. It's weird, isn't it, big guy?" She nudged Satan with her elbow. "isn't it? Isn't it?" This kept going as the others stood there and watched.
Satan stood still, he either ignored or didn't notice her.
"Eve, can you just stop?" Cain leaned against the wall, knowing this would take awhile.
"No, I got this. Isn't it? isn't it?" It took some time, and they stood there, waiting, Abel a bit too unfocused to even realize what was going on, Cain waiting impatiently, and Alastor, surprisingly, just plain amused by the discomfort of everyone around him.
Eventually, Satan turned his head to Eve. "Do you need something?"
"The way your memory works is weird, right?"
After a brief pause, he added, "It is."
"See? I win!" Eve said happily
Rolling his eyes, Cain walked over towards them. "Do you know where Carmine is?"
"No. The place she is at has angelic powers, possibly as simple as angelic material or as complex as magic, shielding it. This is all I can gleam."
Someone shouted in the distance "Hey! Guys! I found something!"
It was Abel's voice. No one had noticed him wander off. They all rushed towards him, only to see him holding a beer. "The mini-fridge still has stuff!"
Eve looked down at it, growling out, suddenly flames erupted from her, and she sent powerful waves of holy heat about her. That was when a nearby monitor turned on. Carmine was on it.
"Hello Alastor, or whoever else may be here. According to the contracts you're tossing about someone named Eve seems to be in charge. I'd like to think I'm important enough for her to come after me personally, but if not, please pass this message onto whatever mad woman is leading this charge. You won't find me, your minions won't find me, and for a personal insult towards someone I care for that I'm sure Alastor can tell you all about, I will do everything in my power to stop you. You're not the only power in hell, and you're not the only one who can be sneaky. Also, tell Cain I said hello."
As it turned off Eve was quiet. The sort of deadly quiet you never wanted to see from someone with power.
Most of that Carmine could have learned from the contract, however, there was no way she should know Cain was involved, and somehow Eve thought that was exactly why she told her that. She turned, slowly, towards Alastor, who had been looking around him in a mild panic, as if trying to find an escape.
Chains surrounded him. White and glowing. Angelic chains that made everyone back away from him. He was pulled to the ground and, for once, Eve's foot touched down, right on Alastor's hand. "Progress report. Now."
His fingers twitched, the smile on his face never leaving, though his eyes screamed. "I managed to recruit Zeezi, Illume, Jack, and Miss Devious to our cause."
"Uh huh!" Said Eve with an aggressive and manic tone "And what about the other two? The two important ones? You know, the one responsible for killing Adam, and the other one. The one who's, you know, friends with Carmine. Mm? Mmmm?"
The bones of Alastor's hands began to crack as her foot stepped harder and harder against it. His fingers twitched as he talked through strained teeth. "Zestial, unfortunatly, refused and I was forced to terminate hi-" He winced as Eve's foot came up, and stamped back down.
"I think you failed, silly. I could see a tiny little spider on Carmine's shoulder. A tiny little green and black spider. You fucked up." She slammed her foot down again, his fingers bending unnaturally as she did. "You fucked up, now, what about Rosie?"
Abel was busy going through the fridge as Satan watched with absolute apathy. Cain winced and looked away. Alastor's arm twitched under the weight of the white chains that burned at him. "I tried to track her down but the cannibals refused to tell me her location. They said she had been hurt during the attack by Prince and was recovering."
Eve was quiet for a moment, her foot breaking Alastor's hand to the point where he had lost feeling in it, but he could still see it. "You should have found her."
"I can not take on all the cannibals. They would not tolerate me looking. I was going to go back when better prepared or she was healed. She would be more receptive the-"
A brief blade of fire came down, cutting across the ground, and Alastor's hand was removed from his arm. Eve's foot swung away, making it glide along the ground until it hit a wall. "You can get your hand back when you get Rosie on our side, or kill her."
As Cain watched, he was impressed with how Alastor held himself together. Though his eyes screamed, nothing else did. Alastor looked up towards Eve "It might be easier if I had two hands..."
Eve leaned down, looking Alastor in his eyes, with her own smile. "I mean, if you want, I can take something else from you. Give you your hand back and take, say, a memory." There was a moment of silence, before Eve added "A memory of a person. Of, say, your mother? And then you can just think of me as your mom. How's that sound?"
"Terrible idea, trust me on this." Cain spoke up.
"Shut up, Cain! I'm talking to the help over here!" Eve and Alastor's eyes stayed focused on each other, unblinking. After a moment, Alastor said "I will do what I can with one hand."
"Capital!" Eve released Alastor from the chains, clapping her hands together in a way that felt quite insensitive to Alastor's current problem. "We can't have any loose ends after all! Heaven is right on our tail and chasing us!"
"What about those imps that know we're planning to kill God?" Asked Cain, as Eve slowly turned towards him, her eye starting to twitch. Cain pointed a thumb at Abel, who was eating chips. "He told me about it in front of some."
Abel looked over at Alastor. "Oh shit. Dude. You're hand. What happened? You want like, a hook? I know a guy who does really sweet hook hands."
Eve turned towards Satan. Satan nodded. "I had tried to kill them, but unfortunately they have proven quite elusive. I do believe they are in Angel custody now for crimes."
With clenched teeth, Eve asked "What crimes?"
"They are imps. It could be anything."
Fire began to grow around Eve and suddenly with a scream she began to throw it around her, the walls turning to dust and ash as she began to destroy the entire building from the inside, the roof blasting into the air, the empty desks flung about as she had a meltdown right then and there.
As she screamed Alastor put his cane aside, made a bag of popcorn appear in his hand from the shadows as black tendrils tossed some in his mouth and, in a rare display of camaraderie, offered Cain a handful. Cain shrugged, and accepted as they watched Eve suffer together. A true bonding experience.
Eventually she felt a tap of her shoulder and turned to see Abel. He held out a bag of chips towards her. "Would some chips help?"
After a moment Eve said "Actually yes." And took one. After a quick munch she took a deep breath, looked around the ruined building that was ready to collapse, and rolled her shoulders. "Okay, so we need to go into the Angel's Embassy and steal their memories. Not hard. I can mask me and Satan's presence. Satan?"
Satan suddenly took the form of Sera again, but with four eyes. He solved this problem by closing two of them.
They began to leave, Abel playing on his phone as they did. He had to do this with one hand, the other was busy holding the bow.
It was always holding the bow.
As they left a figure on a distant building looked at them, carefully, with some fear. She knew if she was spotted it'd be the end of her, but somehow, deep inside, she just couldn't let things go.
She looked at her phone, and let out a deep sigh as she sent out a message to Carmine. "They just left your old place. The woman, Eve I think, burnt everything down. I didn't get a good look at what happened inside. Hope your cameras caught it all. This might be the last you hear of me. I'm going to see if I can talk to Abel directly to see what's going on. He saved me once, I feel like I owe it to try and save him at least once."
She sent it, began to slip away before they noticed her, and checked her phone again. It amazed her how Abel had agreed to let her track his location via an app on his phone when they were together. She did it so she could know when he was coming home and she'd need to pretend to be his girlfriend again.
What amazed her more was that he never deleted it and had the same phone.
With a deep breath, she rubbed her forehead. "Sue, you're an idiot." and with that she put her phone away, and prepared to do more stupid things.
Sometimes you had to be stupid to get anywhere in life, after all.