Chapter Text
I do not come to awareness gracefully in this life. Raging over everything that was lost in my last life I come to in a swath of destruction the likes of which only a toddler would be capable of. I tantrum and scream over the friends that must have died as a result of my failure. How am I supposed to live another life after killing them all?
I keep tearing and screaming and smashing things blindly; unheeding anyone around me until I feel arms around my middle hoisting me up and away from whatever I was destroying. I thrash in their arms yelling, “No! They’re gone! Put me down there’s nothing I can do now!” but as I rage they just hold me, rocking side to side as they hum atonally.
Eventually I tire myself out and fall asleep in their arms. As I stop flailing, I’m pulled into a more comfortable hold, and they start walking out of the room.
-
When I wake next, I am alone.
-
I disassociate profoundly over the next week or so, allowing myself to be moved, but with an absence to me. I am trapped in my grief over the friends I surely lost and failed.
It is not until a young child, roughly three- or four-years old steps up in front of me and signs while they mouth something. I knew a little ASL in my first life, but this is not that. I tilt my head curiously and they sign the same thing again while mouthing what must be the words. The body I occupy must know this form of sign then.
Wait.
Am I occupying the body of someone that used to exist? I had just assumed that I was new. That I was someone that hadn’t existed before, but that can’t be true if the body I’m in should know things that I don’t.
I’m pulled from my disturbing tangent by the kid again. They’ve gotten closer, and begin whispering in the quietest voice I’ve ever heard, “Miru, are you okay?”
I blink at the kid and really look at him. If only from the short, cropped hair, the kid is probably a boy. He has blonde hair and strange green eyes. There are also lines around his mouth, almost like old scars, but he’s only a few years old, what could he have scars from already? When I meet his eyes again I find that he’s watching me too.
I attempt a smile and respond “I’m sorry, where am I?”
He looks surprised. “You can talk?” he says a fraction louder.
Well shit. How old am I supposed to be? I just smile in an attempt to cover my own surprise. He narrows his eyes at me a little in suspicion before shrugging and signing something before leaving. After he leaves, I look around and find myself alone on a blanket with some toys scattered about.
It’s all utterly unfamiliar. Just where have I woken up?
-
This house is quiet, yet warm. Its obviously lived in and comfortable, but there’s no voices or music that travel through rooms, and even the boy from before spoke in a whisper. My last life was constant motion, the people around me never seeming to know what quiet is.
I hope someone made it out alright. If only there was some way to know.
-
Apparently, I am a part of the Yamada family. Yamada Miru. I guess, I'm the second child of the Yamada household, the first being the boy I met before. His name is Yamada Hizashi. Its vaguely familiar. I just… can’t seem to place it.
My parents seem to be deaf, and that’s why Hizashi was using sign. They use a form of sign I don’t know that seems to rely heavily on mouthing the words along with signing, and they seem confused and concerned when I don’t seem to know it.
I try using ASL, ‘I’m OK sorry I don’t know your sign.’ and the mom lights up before a look of confusion passes over her face.
‘you know ASL ?’
Shit did they not teach me ASL despite knowing it themselves? Why would they do that? I’ll just play it off, why would they be suspicious of a toddler.
‘You know ASL.’ I respond.
Hizashi moves to the side of us and gets mom’s attention signing something in the sign I don’t know. Yamada is a Japanese name, so I suppose they’re using JSL. It’s interesting, I really only knew English in my first life, with some rudimentary Spanish and ASL, but I’m certain I must have spoken Japanese in my last life. I honestly didn’t think about it that hard, because I just spoke the same language as everyone else around me. It didn’t actually feel like I was learning a new language, but I know that's what I was speaking earlier. Why do I know Japanese without having to learn it, but I don't seem to know the sign my family uses? Whatever powers that are reincarnating me seem to be kind of ableist.
I’m pulled from my wandering thoughts by dad crouching in front of me and signing something. Its different from the first one they were using, and when I don’t recognize it, he sighs and gets up to sign something to mom.
They seem to talk for a while before they turn to where Hizashi and I are watching them, they sign something at Hizashi that makes him go stiff before he gives a sharp nod and walks away. Mom follows and I hear Hizashi saying something quietly a few minutes later. When I look back at dad he’s watching me. I’ve noticed mom and dad don’t look anything like Hizashi. Sure, mom has blonde hair, and dad has light eyes, but their facial features don’t match, and their skin tones are all different. I haven’t had a chance to really look in a mirror yet, but I know my hair is darker than any of theirs.
-
The next day we all get packed up into a small sedan and end up at a doctors office. I guess I really did concern them. My fit when I came to in this world probably didn’t help matters. With all my strange behavior over the last week I suppose it’d be stranger if they didn’t take their toddler that forgot a language after having a massive violent fit to a hospital.
It turns out I’m also really bad at telling the ages of children, because Hizashi is actually five (and a half) and I’m three next month. The nurse has me take all of the regular physical tests, weight, eyes, height etc. I also get a chance to see myself in a full-length mirror, and there is no way I’m related to anyone in my family. Hizashi and I must be adopted.
I’m seated on a paper-lined examination table with my parents and brother off to the side on some extra chairs when the doctor comes in. Mom hands him a notepad where she’s filled several pages with notes, and he grimaces before he sits down and reads through it. He strokes his chin and mutters, “It could be quirk related.”
That causes me to sit up involuntarily. No. He couldn’t mean. I turn to look at Hizashi and he’s signing to mom again. Is he?
“Miru, your brother said you can hear and speak, is that true?” The doctors voice cuts into the silence in the room suddenly. And I jolt involuntarily.
I turn to face him, and he looks intrigued. I don’t like the look on his face. I look back to Hizashi and my parents and sign ‘I not want gross man know me.’ God I wish I knew more ASL.
It does the trick though because mom sits up and signs, ‘why you sign gross man ? what gross ?’
How do I explain that I’ve got bad vibes from this doctor. I could lie and say something about bad touch, but I don’t have any evidence of that. I must hesitate too long because mom gets a dark look on her face and she signs something to Hizashi and he gets a wide-eyed confused look on his face. He looks between mom, the doctor and I before getting up and heading for the door. The doctor tries to ask him where he’s going, but Hizashi ignores him.
After a few minutes where the doctor gets no response from either my parents or I, a nurse comes in and motions for the doctor to follow her, he asks, “What do you need Amano?”
She just motions for him to follow her more vigorously and he sighs before getting up off his stool. “This is why I hate working with people like this.”
Unfortunately for the doctor, Hizashi must sign what the doctor says to our parents because they get even angrier than they already were.
Once the doctor leaves I take advantage of the few minutes we’re left alone and motion for the notepad and pen. Hizashi gives me a confused look before bringing them over to me. Now, I’m willing to bet if my mom knows ASL then she must know English. I just hope that either she’s smart enough not to show the note around, or that the medical personnel here don’t know English.
I write the following:
[Sorry I made you worry. That Dr. was too interested in my quirk in a way that was icky. I dont know what exactly hed do but he gave me stranger danger energy. I think they should do an investigation. (XP) Maybe the police should get him. I think my quirk tells me things that have happened or are going to happen, but its too much and I forget other things. I love you, sorry I worried you. Find Toshinori Yagi.]
I look at it for a while and sigh. This is definitely too advanced for a toddler, but I don’t have the time or energy to dumb it down even more. I hold it out to mom who is staring at me bewildered. Shit I must be really out of character if she’s looking at me like that. I try to smile reassuringly and wiggle the notepad a little. She takes it and looks at me for a few moments longer before starting to read it. Dad glances between us and then turns to read over her shoulder. I guess he must know English too.
It seems like mom reads it a few times before she underlines and scribbles something. She hands it back to me, and the additions she’s made are that she’s underlined Toshinori Yagi drawn an arrow to it and written WHO? Instead of writing again I stand up on the examination table and face my family. I grin widely and use my hands to mimic All Might’s hair before planting my hands on my hips while mimicking a silent laugh and mouthing exaggeratedly ‘I AM HERE!’ Then I turn to see my family’s reactions.
Hizashi is looking at me like I’ve grown a second head, and my dad is just looking at me slack jawed with his hands out like he was going to try to catch me, but mom is hiding her mouth behind her hand and is laughing at full volume. I feel my smile soften and I sit down to wait for them to snap out of their various states.
If Hizashi is who I think he is, then I’m going to do better in this life. I’ll save Oboro, Tenko, the Todoroki family, and as many of the rest of them as I can. I won’t fail this world like I did the last one.
I won’t.