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“We should probably get to bed,” Bruce said when his and Tony’s calculations were going nowhere. “Steve, you staying over? It’s a bit late to be heading back.”
“Oh, uh, yeah, I’d like to... if you guys don’t mind.” Steve stood up from where he had been reading on the sofa.
“Of course!” Tony said. “You know, you may as well move in. You have a full set of things here anyway and--”
“Thanks, Tony. But I’m alright. It’s just that sometimes...” Steve looked down at his book. “Never mind.”
“What’s wrong?” Bruce asked.
“Well the guys who live next door to me have this fancy stereo system and tend to play the same music over and over again. And loudly, too. They didn't respond well... I think they said something homophobic, but I'm not sure.”
“Have you tried filing a noise complaint?” Bruce asked reasonably.
“I have. I think the other neighbour also filed one a few weeks ago, and the noisy neighbours got ticketed for disturbing the peace, but the music still hasn’t stopped.”
“Hmm...” Bruce said. “Why don’t Tony and I come over and take a look, see if we can figure something out.”
Tony frowned. “Bruce, if neither the politeness of Captain America nor the authority of the police could get to them, how do you intend to figure something out?”
Bruce raised an eyebrow and stared at Tony with a playful twinkle in his eye.
Tony’s eyes went wide when he understood Bruce's plan. “I’m rubbing off on you! Not the way I’d like to be rubbing off on you at the moment, but I’ll--”
“Tony!”
“Right,” Tony said. “I’ll go get the poster and aluminum. You grab the CB radio and antenna and, Steve, do you have a linear amp? Never mind, I’ll grab one of those, too.”
“Wait, what’s going on?” Steve asked.
“And sound detectors,” Bruce replied to Tony, ignoring Steve.
“Of course!” Tony agreed. “To triangulate the location of the stereo.”
“Glad we’re on the same wavelength.”
Tony rolled his eyes. “If you’re going to make radio jokes all night, I’m out.”
“I’ll try to modulate it.”
Tony groaned as he left to get supplies.
“Did I miss something?” Steve asked.
“My jokes don’t resonate with everyone,” Bruce shrugged. He, too, left for supplies.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“I’m not sure this is the right thing to do,” Steve furrowed his brows.
“Of course it is--I’m doing it.” Tony replied holding up two sound detectors. “It will be fun.”
Bruce smiled his agreement. “I love how no-one bothers to shield the amplifiers on stereos these days.”
They uploaded their data, and within seconds, JARVIS had the location of the stereo triangulated.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Soon enough they had the elliptical reflector, linear amplifier, and antenna set up.
“So. What do we want to play to them tonight?” Tony asked. “We gotta make it something annoying.”
Bruce and Steve looked at each other.
“Hard rock,” They said in unison.
Tony glared. “Really? I came all the way out here to help fix your neighbour’s stereo problems and this is how you thank me?”
Steve had the decency to look chastised. Bruce didn’t.
“Justin Bieber?” Tony suggested.
“Hm, good idea,” Bruce replied.
“Who’s that?” Steve asked.
“Of course,” Bruce added. “That would mean we would also be hearing Justin Bieber through the walls, and since apparently Steve doesn’t even--”
“Wait, you said they were homophobes, right?” Tony interrupted. He just came up with a great idea. “We could make our own music for them to hear coming out of their stereo, you know...”
“I don’t think I like where this is going...” Steve said.
“I do,” Bruce said. “Steve, what are your neighbours’ names?”
“Owen and Rodney,” Steve replied.
“Okay,” Bruce lifted his phone to his mouth. “Oh... Owen, yes, like that... mmm...” He moaned into the phone.
Then he went up to Steve and started adjusting the sound.
“Tell me when this sounds reasonably like Rodney, too high, too low, too rough, too smooth.”
Steve stared wide-eyed at Bruce. But it was good wide-eyed. I-just-need-a-little-more-convincing wide-eyed.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Rodney and Owen had a few friends over, and were chilling with the music up and the party on when the pitch of the song changed just slightly.
At first nobody noticed. And then everybody noticed.
“Oh... Owen, yes, like that... mmm...” Rodney’s voice blasted out of the stereo.
Rodney and Owen stared at each other, horrified.
“Rodney, if this is some sort of joke--” Owen started, before he was cut off by his own voice.
“God! Rodney, you’re so good, you slut,” Owen’s voice moaned.
“Harder, oh! Owen!” Stereo-Rodney yelled.
“That’s not us!” Owen protested, as their friends’ expressions went from shock to laughter.
“Shut it off!” Rodney said, scrambling towards the stereo. Tripping over a chair, Rodney made it to the stereo and turned the volume off.
“Oh god, I’m so close!” Stereo-Rodney moaned.
“But I turned it off!” Rodney said frantically.
“Unplug it,” Owen suggested. Rodney did.
“Oh, oh, oh!” Stereo-Rodney shouted.
Rodney picked up the stereo and smashed it on the ground. The moaning finally stopped.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
In the other room, Steve fought a smile as Bruce and Tony shared a high-five.