Chapter Text
There’s a boy. In America. And Henry’s been lying to him.
Not intentionally.
Not at first.
At first, it was an irresponsible night at a club in New York City while in town for an event he no longer remembers the minute details of. He and Pez had donned disguises and hit the town in an attempt to shed their public personas and just be one with the people for a night. Let loose and live and then jump on a plane the following morning with no one the wiser.
He hadn’t planned for Alex.
At first, it’d been the two of them dancing and flirting.
Somewhere along the line, Alex shifted the balance. Pez slipped away, and Henry allowed himself to pretend to be someone of no consequence dancing with a boy he believed to be beautiful because it didn’t matter. And when Alex pulled him through the club and out to the alley, and gently pushed him against the wall, he went willingly.
When Alex rose up on the tips of his toes, and invited Henry to come home with him, he had no reason to say no. Because for a night he wasn’t a prince. He was James, in town for business, only for a night; throwing the hours to the wind in favor of pleasure. What was time in comparison to the way Alex made him feel? What was reality when he had this; a fantasy so perfectly curated for him in the loose curls and dark skin and bright eyes. In the smile that held a sort of danger to it; the kind that begged to be explored.
Henry didn’t dabble with danger; certainly never explored it.
But Alex’s hands were on his hips, and his smile was pressed into Henry’s cheek, and not even the itchiness of the wig scratching at his scalp could keep him from following that danger. From leaning into it; catching it with his own lips and saying, “Please.”
In the aftermath, Alex had watched him as he dressed, a sheet carefully draped over his midsection, the soft glow of the light from his hall shining in on them. Henry watched him right back, smiling, almost aglow himself, as he buttoned his shirt one by one.
Alex rolled over, grinning up at him, and held out his hand. “Give me your phone.”
Henry paused at the button at his belly button. “What?” He asked, knowing he very well could not. “Why?”
Alex rolled his eyes. “So I can give you my number.”
“Oh.” Henry blinked, his hands falling to his sides as regret curled painfully in his stomach. “Alex . . .”
“What?”
“I’m going back to London tomorrow—“
Alex shifted, tucking his knees under himself as leveraging himself up. “And you visit for work, right? You’re telling me you don’t ever plan on coming back?”
“Well,” Henry murmured. “No.”
Almost pleased, Alex nodded. “You come here frequently, right?”
Considering the upcoming events on his schedule, and feeling half cornered and half something he couldn’t quite find the words to frame, he said, somewhat awed, “Well, it’s not infrequent.”
Alex clicked his tongue. “Then give me your phone.”
Shaking his head, Henry stepped forward and leaned in, entertaining the prospect as if there were any possibility this could be anything more than a single night. “What if you’ve moved on with someone else?”
“Then I won’t reply when you call. I’m not the cheating type. Come on. Gimme.”
“I don’t know when next I’ll be back.”
“That’s part of the fun, James.”
Henry blinked at him, long and slow, and with the voice of his grandmother and a palace full of advisors in his head screaming at him not to do it, he pulled the phone from his pocket and held it out for him. Alex grinned a big, bright, beaming sunlit smile, and grabbed it, raising his eyebrows and saying, “Password?”
There were a million reasons to take the phone back. He couldn’t tell a virtual stranger his password. Think of the consequences.
The consequences.
But he wasn’t Henry, then. He was James, and this was a beautiful man with eyelashes that could bring a god to their knees, and he was helpless to do anything but reply with his fathers birthday, knowing full well it’d unlock his phone.
He watched Alex type in his number, a small smile fighting at the edges of his mouth, the kind of bubbling happiness one gets when possibility is fresh and bright and blooming. He knew it’d curdle once he left the apartment and made for the airport. Knew this joy was short lived and that he’d likely never see Alex again, but in this moment he didn’t care.
Because he was just a boy, giving his number to another boy.
No NDA’s, no PPO’s lurking nearby.
Just them. And the air of possibility.
Alex reached out for him, and gently tucked the phone back in Henry’s pocket, before sliding his hands up Henry’s torso and over his shoulders. He swayed forward, and Henry stepped in until his legs bumped the edge of the bed, catching him before he could so much as stumble over the distance between them. Henry’s hands found Alex’s hips.
“I mean it,” Alex murmured, low and soft, bumping his nose against the tip of Henry’s. “Whenever you’re back in town. Let me know.”
Henry nodded, eyes slipping shut as Alex’s lips grazed against his own.
He couldn’t, he knew that. Next he came to America, he’d search for Alex in every face, but he knew he wouldn’t have the courage to find him.
Even still, he pulled back, looked at him ever so carefully, before reaching up and tucking a wayward curl behind Alex’s ear and nodding. “I will.”
It felt like a vow.
It felt permanent and real though it never could be.
Only.
Well.
Three months later, Henry returned to New York.
And for a week, he stared at that contact in his phone. He tried to be the perfect royal son; tried to play into his responsibilities and be the person his family wanted him to be. But the events were unending, and the people were uninteresting, and Pez—Pez was far too enabling.
Chewing on his lip in the silence of Pez’s penthouse, out of range from anyone who might expect anything from him, Henry typed a message into his phone. He worried over his lip, staring down at the single word, as if the universe might make the decision for him, before slamming his thumb over the send button and throwing the phone onto the bed, squeezing his eyes shut and tangling his fingers in his hair.
Alex?
The phone buzzed from its place on the bed. Henry lurched forward to retrieve it, scrambling to read the message.
depends who’s asking
This is James.
james? i don’t think i know a James.
Oh. And if that weren’t the most devious ache of disappointment, he didn’t know what was. He dropped the phone, ready to bury his face in a pillow and refuse to ever emerge from it again when the phone started ringing.
He looked at it:
Incoming call from Alex.
He stared as it rang out.
Silence reigned over the room with a tension thicker than even his grandmother was capable, before his phone buzzed with a new text.
answer the phone, baby, you know I didn’t forget you.
Just as he finished reading the message, his phone started ringing again. He flinched, nearly dropping the phone in his haste to answer it. The words that tumbled from his lips upon hearing Alex’s breathing were unbidden and desperate;
“You didn’t?”
A smile in Alex’s voice when he replied, “Who could possibly forget you?”
“Oh,” Henry breathed.
“Is this a booty call?” Alex asked. “ Are you here? When can I see you?”
“I—I’ve plans today and tomorrow, but a free day on—“
“Already canceling my plans.”
“You needn’t—“
“It’s done. Text me as soon as you’re free and I’ll make sure the apartments clean, and we’ll spend all the time you want to in bed.” Henry’s breath hitched, and Alex paused, before murmuring, low and dangerous, “You like the thought of that?”
“I. Well, I’d certainly be amenable to—“
Alex laughed, the kind of rumbling wonder that Henry longed to feel most days; it echoed in his heart, like something long dormant emerging from the dark. “You’re so fucking British. Why is that hot? My ancestors are rolling in their graves.”
“Why?”
Alex groaned, but Henry could hear his smile when he said, “Down bad for a colonizer.”
It startled a laugh out of him, “I want to argue,” he said, “but you’ve no idea just how right you are.”
And he didn’t.
Alex had no idea who he was.
Henry’s gaze drifted to the edge of the bed, where Pez had left the wig.
There was a certain heartbreak in hiding who he was, but there wasn’t a moment of his life he hadn’t been hiding in some manner. At least in this, he hid only the parts he never considered his. For once, he was shedding the image and donning the truth.
He was somebody else, but he was more himself than he’d ever been before.
And though the heartbreak sat where it always has, it found a friend in the hope blooming right beside it.
One knock on Alex’s door and it swung open to reveal Alex; still so beautiful, smiling soft and careful and nervously. Water dripped down from his curls onto his shirt, little droplets scattered across his shoulders like constellations.
Henry opened his mouth to say hello, but Alex stepped forward, grabbed the front of his shirt and yanked him down into a kiss before the first syllable could even form on a breath.
He pulled away after a moment, nodding. “Yeah,” he breathed.
Henry swayed into him, his hands finding haven in his hips. “What?”
“Just as good as I remembered.” He smiled, pulling back to look up at Henry. “Hey.”
“Quite the hello.”
“Well,” Alex tilted his head to the side, squinting an eye, “I like to make an impression.”
That night was the most beautiful kind of mistake.
Because Henry left with the taste of Alex on his lips and the knowledge of one thing:
He wasn’t going to give this up.
And, he didn’t.
Over the next year, he visited New York for several gala’s, functions, and even when he wasn’t ordered to go to New York specifically, he found excuses to sneak away.
For once he was excited to run his grandmothers errands. For once he had something to look forward to, something his.
Alex?
thumbs are at the ready to cancel plans, baby.
tell me the days.
Are you free tomorrow?
oh, last minute!!
gimme five
Yes.
Are you sure?
i havent been able to stop thinking about u
since last month
i’ll be waiting for u
I’ve three trips scheduled over the next eight weeks.
Three???
All of them will bring me to the city.
To my bed?
If you’ll have me.
oh, i will.
I’ll be there in an hour.
i’ll be waiting.
wet.
naked.
desperate.
I’ll be there in thirty minutes.
atta boy.
I know I’ve left already and you’re fast asleep,
but I couldn’t leave without telling you how beautiful you are.
The sun hit you so softly this morning, darling,
for a moment I wished I were one of the greats
so that I might bring that perfection to permanence in print.
fuck
good morning TO ME
I’m sorry, I know we don’t generally text outside
the means of planning to meet,
but I wanted to say goodbye.
not “goodbye” dramatic ass
and pls ive been dying waiting for u to open this door
You have?
it’s open now, baby. i’ll be knocking frequently
I welcome it.
james
Alex?
i was attacked
What?
i think it was a hate crime
Answer your phone, Alex.
[picture of an angry goose advancing on camera]
June said not to pester it and I didn’t but
June? And, to clarify, you did not
pester it?
my sister. And no.
I believe I’m on your sister's side.
u weren’t even there!
And yet.
u know ur supposed to side with
ur international fuck buddy
Is that so?
it is
And where, exactly, is that written?
in the bylaws.
Ah, but I’m not American. So, American bylaws
hardly apply to me.
[picture of a poorly drawn book cover.
Messily scrawled across it is
The International Law of Fuck Buddy Behavior]
doesn’t matter
You’re absurd.
but am I absurd enough to deserve
the wrath of a goose?
a biphobic racist goose!
I’m convinced it was only one of those things.
biphobic?
A goose.
ur a goose.
a silly goose.
I’m still wondering what you did to incur the wrath
of a perfectly normal goose?
i just wanted to see if there was life
behind its beady little eyes
And? Your conclusion?
rage. Nothing but rage.
Perhaps don’t enrage the geese next time.
gee, thank u for that life changing advice.
I live only to serve.
oh. now that’s got me thinking
About?
ur next visit. The things we could do.
. . . Are you alone?
no, but I can be. Why
I’m also thinking.
give me 5 min
Will you still like me if I fail
out of law school?
I’m not sure. Why are you going to fail
out of law school?
It’s haaaaaaard
I can’t focus on studying
Do you need help?
u offering sweetheart?
I’m occupied for the next half hour.
But if you need assistance after,
I’ll be happy to make myself available.
Ur serious?
Of course.
Can we play strip study
Every question i get right you take something off
I don’t see how that would help you remember.
Trust
Link a precedent to a part of ur body
Ill never fuckin forget it
I’ll make sure I’m alone.
oh fuck
GUESS WHO PASSED HIS FINAL FINAL
Is it a mouthy American?
gasp how’d you guess
also
u love my mouth
A hunch.
I don’t hate it.
But honestly, I knew you would. You’re a bloody genius.
those late night calls where you let me
recite precedents at you helped so I owe you
You don’t. I was happy to help.
and I’ll be happy to pay up
Any idea when ull be in town?
Not as of yet, but I’m looking for
the next opportunity.
oooh. I like it when ur eager.
I could say the same for you.
Im going to celebrate with June and Nora,
so I might be spotty to get a hold of
Go. Have fun. I’ll be here proud of you.
swoon
The longer it went on, the more it evolved.
hi
Good morning, Alex.
i just wanted to say I was thinking about u
That's a relief.
yeah?
I was thinking about you.
was it sexual?
Would you be disappointed if it weren’t?
no
what were u thinking about
At this moment? Your smile.
yeah?
i was thinking about your freckles.
about that night in september
when you let me trace them and
name them like constellations.
I don’t recall you naming them?
I didn’t tell u
I was also thinking that ur the kind of sky
a guy could never get tired of looking at
Oh
Was that too much?
No.
On the contrary.
I miss you quite a lot, Alex.
I miss you a lot too
Are you free on Friday?
depends
What on?
are u asking because ur coming to town
or are u asking in general
I’ll be in town.
Then ill be free
It will be a short trip.
then we better take advantage of
the time we got
I don’t know how you do it
Do what?
good morning
Good morning. Do what?
I had to go to work.
But u were laying there and it
was so hard to walk away
I almost didn’t
If I didn’t have to I wouldnt have
Would have crawled back into bed
with you, baby.
Would have held u until u forced me to let go
I would have let you. I don’t think
I’d have found the will to let go, either.
U don’t have to say that.
To hell with it.
???
James?
Hello?
Sorry, I was making a call.
ok?
To extend my visit.
Really?
I hope you don’t mind if I stick around a bit longer.
Mind???
Ur joking
omfg
baby
How long??
I finagled a week without responsibility.
a week??
!!!
can i introduce u to June and Nora
They don’t believe ur real
We could have dinner
go on a date
You want me to meet your friends?
fuck yeah I do
And to go on a date?
is that too much?
No, Alex.
It’s not too much.
is that a yes then
It is.
u left your sweater at my place
I’d wondered where that went.
it’s mine now
Is it?
[photo of Alex holding up a peace sign
to the camera, the sleeves of the sweater
almost concealing his fingers from how long they are]
perfect fit
It looks lovely on you.
u look better on me
it smells like u
James?
Alex?
i miss u
I miss you, too.
I can’t sleep.
Neither can I.
can I call u
Please.
I’ve half a mind to shirk my responsibilities
and run away to America.
London can’t be that bad
Not London, just my family.
Wanna talk about it?
You don’t want to listen to me complain.
U underestimate how much I like u
Answer the phone baby
You cannot send photos like that, Christ.
Alex, I’m in a meeting.
Stressful meeting?
Very.
Lemme help you destress
I can’t.
[photo of Alex’s lap, hand settled over
a noticeable bulge in his gray sweatpants]
please
Christ.
Alex will do
tell me what to do J
pls
I need u
Alex
baby
I’ll call you in 10 minutes.
Do Not touch yourself before then.
oh fuck
I like when u get bossy
What can I do until then
Tease yourself. Pretend I’m there.
imagining it so clearly baby
wish u were here
wish u were here so fuckin bad
10 minutes, Alex.
waiting with baited fuckin breath
im drunj
Are you?
June and Nora said I was pining
Pining?
Over this weird Brit
I guess he’s hot or whatever
he hasn’t called or texted ina. Wejk tho
so
Alex.
Got me all hooked
And then vanished
I feel insane
I feel ISNAE James
All I wanna do is talk to u
All I do is think about u
Talk about u
Wanna hold u
Just to feel u wrapped around me
this is the longest since we’ve gone
without u visiting
I understand if this is too much.
If you want to end things.
????? End things??
I want MORE
I wanna be ur first call in the morning
and the last text at night
I wanna be the one u go to when ur sad
or mad or if ur brothers bein a dick
I wanna be ur fuckin PERSON j
That’s just not possible.
We live on different sides of the world, Alex.
??? not possible??
look at us
Look at what we’ve accomplished
A year ago we were strangers in a club
now?
Ur telling me u don’t want more?
I didn’t say that.
Distance doesn’t mean anything
we do
How we feel does
how do you feel James
This isn’t a conversation to be had while
you’re inebriated, Alex.
Fine.
But im calling u tmrw
And ur answering the phone
And we’re talking about this
Deal?
and don’t say yes to get me to shut up
say yes if u really want this
say yes if this matters
First thing.
if u don’t answer im flying to London and
tracking ur ass down
Don’t test me
I’ll do it
I have no doubt.
Do me a favour?
?
Drink some water in the meantime?
Nora’s already force feeding me
Thank her for me.
im srs James
I know.
And, eventually, it was too late.
boyfriend
Yes?
ur my international hot boyfriend
And you’re mine.
yours
I like the sound of that
r u mine
As long as you’ll have me.
say it
say ur mine
I’m yours, Alex.
yeah
That’s never gonna get old
I’ll ttyl baby
Have a good day, love.
I miss u
I miss you, as well.
I kind of hate this.
As do I.
wanna hold you
kiss you
look at you until my eyes shrivel up
and I physically can’t anymore.
james
Alex.
come back to me soon okay?
As soon as I can.
I dreamt about you last night.
Ooo, was it sexy
No. I dreamt you were here, in my bed.
Dreamt I woke up to the sight and feel of you.
That I could finally bring you into my life,
my heart, my soul, without fear.
It felt so real, I keep finding myself gazing
out at nothing, wondering if you’re still there.
Curled up in my bed waiting for me.
oh
oh baby
There’s so much going on here,
and all I want is to be in your arms.
im here, J
You’re there, and I’m here, and there’s
so much separating us.
What are you saying?
I’m scared.
of me?
Of everything but you.
I’ll be in town for a week next month.
!!! Really???
it’s been sooooooo long
I’ll be expected to work three of those days,
but if you’ll have me—
Tiem and place, baby.
I’ll always have u
Always.
miss u already
There’s a boy. In America. And Henry’s been lying to him.
Not intentionally.
Not at first.