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It’s a quiet, ordinary, boring day when Eren’s world is turned on its head for the third time.
As usual, he’s doing monotonous studying in the living room while his mom is at work. Flashcards and notebooks are spread out around him, evidence of the embarrassing amount of time he spends on his studies despite not being bookish in the least. Academics will never come easily to him, but they’re all too important in this world.
Loud music plays from the radio, a constant stream of noise that both sharpens his focus and keeps his mind in the present. The volume is high enough that he doesn’t register the sound of the doorbell ringing at first— but then he hears it go off again and again, insistent, and he grimaces.
It must be important. That’s annoying; he’s a friendless hermit of a teenager for a reason.
When Eren swings the door open, the last thing he expects to see is a familiar face from the life he tries to avoid thinking about. He recognizes her as familiar immediately but his brain goes blank; he can’t process just who is standing in front of him until he hears his name, choked out in a voice he hasn’t heard in a lifetime.
“Eren.”
He doesn’t know who moves first but in an instant they’re tangled together in a tight hug.
“Mikasa…” His voice comes out muffled by her hair and he squeezes his eyes shut as he holds her.
“I finally found you.” She sounds like she’s crying, which isn’t right. He’s the crybaby, not Mikasa.
He has no idea how long they stay like that. He doesn’t even know how he’s feeling besides overwhelmed. His too-loud music is still blaring from the other room but there’s nothing in Eren’s head but white noise.
When Mikasa finally draws back, he reopens his eyes to find his vision blurry. There are tears on her face and a small but blindingly happy smile on her face. It doesn’t feel real.
“I never thought I’d see you again,” he says in disbelief.
He doesn’t add that he didn’t think she’d want to see him again. Does she really still care so much about him, after everything? Even after she’d lived longer without him than with him?
“I was so afraid…” She wipes at her eyes.
He’s too stunned to do anything but stand there staring. She looks so… so normal, dressed in a long skirt and a shirt with a light jacket. Her hair is longer than before, pulled back in a ponytail. She looks healthy and whole and even prettier than he remembers… while he’s standing there in a ratty T-shirt that had fit him better last year, his short hair a mess. It’s hard not to feel suddenly self-conscious.
“Can I come in?” Mikasa asks.
“Oh!” Idiot, he chastises himself, stepping back from the doorway and inviting her inside. “Yeah, uh— yeah, of course, come in.”
Thankfully, even though his personal appearance is pretty unimpressive, the apartment doesn’t look too bad. It’s tiny, but they keep it clean and neat… well, aside from when he has his study material covering the entire kitchen table.
He leads the way further in and self-consciously turns off the music. Unsurprisingly, Mikasa stops to look at some of the photos decorating the wall, her eyes misty as she focuses on one of him and his mom with matching grins.
“Aunt Carla…”
“She’s at work right now,” Eren says, “but you can see her when she gets home.”
“It’s been so long…” she murmurs. Then she frowns, peering closer. “Your dad isn’t in any of these.”
His stomach sinks and he clenches his fists tight, willing himself to act normal.
“He and mom split up a few years back,” he says shortly. Because of me, he doesn’t add.
Eren can’t think about his dad and not remember that night: his stupid breakdown, the blood on his hands and mouth, his mom screaming at his dad— but he can’t think about that now, with Mikasa right here. She doesn’t need to know what a fuck-up he still is.
Deep breaths, in and out, while he counts to ten, and then he’s functional enough again to continue.
“He remembered… everything. She has no idea.”
“I see.” She sounds vaguely disapproving.
“It’s fine though,” Eren goes on, too loud because he doesn’t want her to pity him and he doesn’t want her to ask about anything. “We’re doing good on our own. Better than we were with him.”
“I’m glad.” She gives him a small smile. “I always worried about you.”
“I’m fine,” he says, and it’s only half a lie. “How… how are you?”
It feels awkward, like they’re strangers, and in a sense they are.
“Good.” she says quietly. “My parents are still alive. We live in the mountains, like before. It’s peaceful.”
He smiles at that, relieved to hear that her new life is untouched by the tragedy that had followed her before. She deserves it.
“You can meet them,” she continues. Her eyes are wide, the smile on her face more excited than he can ever remember seeing.
That doesn’t feel like it should be possible. It’s overwhelming, this new world of possibilities, and he’s stunned for a few long seconds. He’d been considering himself lucky just to have his mom back, and now… Mikasa is in his new life, because she still somehow wants to be around him, and he might even be able to meet her parents.
“I want to meet them,” he says breathlessly. He’ll be able to meet the people responsible for the birth of the girl he’s always loved. They’re alive here. “Are they here?”
“No…” Mikasa’s voice comes out quieter. “I came on my own.”
“Wait, how far away do you live?”
“Almost a day away.”
“How’d you get here?” Is she… older than him? Is she old enough to have her license?
“I took the bus,” she mumbles. There’s a pause before she continues. “... Do you have a phone charger?”
“Uh… yeah.”
He goes to grab it, Mikasa following faithfully. Thankfully, they find that she has the same type of phone that he does, and they’re able to set her phone to charge without issue.
“It’s pretty old,” Eren warns her. “It’s gonna take a while.”
Mikasa’s face falls when her phone fails to power on. “Can I use your phone?”
“Sure,” he says.
He hands over his shitty, beaten-up phone and feels a little lost when she takes it into another room to make the call. She’s probably just calling her parents to let them know she arrived safely. While he waits, he cleans up the mess of his study materials.
After a few long minutes, Mikasa returns and gives him back his phone. Her face is tinged red.
“Did you call your parents?”
She nods. “I needed to tell them where I am.”
“You came all the way here without telling them?” It sounds more like something he’d do.
Her flush deepens and her response is quiet. “I’ve been wanting to see you for so long.” Her voice wavers with emotion. “When I finally found you…”
Guilt nags at him and, on impulse, he draws her into another hug. She rests her head against him and it’s a little different than he remembers; they’re the same height again.
“Sorry,” he mumbles. “I hoped… you’d forget about me and live a good life.”
(It’s not true; he’s never been selfless enough for that to be true. The truth: he’d been terrified that all those decades apart, while she lived out the rest of her life and he rotted like he deserved, would make her realize that she was better off without him. He’d hated the thought of her finding anyone else, while he could never move on.)
“Never.” She clings to him. “I loved you until the end, and… you were the first thing I remembered.”
There’s a lump in his throat, his selfish wishes realized. All those decades apart hadn’t changed her feelings. Somehow, she still loves him after everything he did, after all of that time.
It’s too emotional; he’s untethered, all his feelings barely kept in check, and he can’t have Mikasa see him get overwhelmed.
“Let’s get ice cream,” he says suddenly, straightening up. “C’mon.”
Mikasa is stunned for a second, then she smiles just a little. It’s wobbly. “Okay.”
Pulling on his shoes gives him time to collect himself, at least enough to no longer feel on the verge of tears. He doesn’t understand why he’d suggested ice cream on this chilly Fall day until he’s shoving his wallet into his pocket and a largely forgotten, regretful memory slots back into place.
Mikasa had been so happy when she first experienced ice cream all that time ago, in that other life. She’d tried to share it with him, but his mind was elsewhere. He’s always gotten in his own way, hasn’t he? He could have just… enjoyed some dessert with the girl he liked, but instead…
Well, he’s going to do things differently in this life. He reaches for Mikasa’s hand to hold it as they leave.
There’s an ice cream place not too far from where he lives. Even though Eren hasn’t seen Mikasa in so long, it feels natural and easy to have her next to him again.
They each get a cone, Eren rushing to pay for the both of them. His heart aches in a good way as they sit at their little table, looking for all the world like two normal fifteen-year-olds, and he realizes they’re on their first date.
He starts to practically inhale his ice cream — he’d been so caught up in his studying that he hadn’t realized he was getting hungry — only for Mikasa to chide him.
“Slow down, you’ll give yourself a brain freeze,” she warns him.
He rolls his eyes but slows his pace obediently, smiling despite himself at the nostalgic reprimand.
He learns more about Mikasa’s new life. She’s still older than him by a month and, while she still lives in the mountains with her parents, it’s simply because they like the area. She’s homeschooled, and she and her mom like to work on their garden together, so she’s thinking about working as a florist in the future.
“What about you?” she asks.
“Huh?”
“What have you been up to?”
“Well…” How does he make himself sound less like a loser? He doesn’t have friends, his parents’ happy marriage was ruined because of him, and he doesn’t have any real ambitions outside of not being a shitty son to his mom again. “Uh… I guess I’m focused on school right now.”
“Really?” The corner of her mouth lifts up.
She probably remembers that he’s not very smart and is thinking about how out of character that is. He rubs the back of his neck. “Yeah. I want to be able to get a good job when I graduate, so Mom can live an easy life.”
Mikasa smiles at that, pleased, and she reaches across the table to hold his hand. It’s all he can do not to squirm; he’s sure his hand is getting more sweaty and gross by the second. It’s embarrassing how flustered her approval gets him. He wants so badly for her to like him in this life — not just because she loves him for saving her a lifetime ago, but because he’s someone she would want to be around either way.
“I can’t wait to see her again,” she says. “And then tomorrow you get to meet my parents, too…”
Her excitement is cute… and contagious, too. He can’t remember the last time he felt real excitement like this. “You’re staying the night?”
“I convinced them.” She’s blushing a little. “As long as it’s okay with your mom and they can talk to her first.”
“Of course it’ll be okay with her, she loves you.” He pauses when he realizes that they technically haven’t met in this life. “Or… she’ll love you? This is weird.”
She squeezes his hand. “Weird, but good.”
“Yeah,” he agrees, smiling slightly.
He spends a few minutes watching her as she keeps eating her ice cream, zoning out. She looks so cute, so peaceful and happy in the way she’s always deserved but had never been able to be, back when he was still alive in their first lives. Is he even capable of being happy like that?
Mikasa seems to notice him watching her. Her little blush is back as she holds the half-eaten ice cream cone out to him. “Try it.”
He feels kind of dumb but it’s hard to resist, especially when she’s looking at him like that, so he takes a bite of ice cream. He feels himself blush at the idea of Mikasa feeding him in public, and then his face burns when he realizes that he’s probably got some of her spit in his mouth.
That’s… something, and it makes him realize: he could kiss Mikasa. He could just do that now, and the thought flusters him terribly. He’s never felt like more of an awkward teenager; it’s all he can do to try to keep his cool and wait for Mikasa to be done.
They end up returning home soon after. Eren doesn’t muster up the courage to kiss Mikasa. He can’t decide: would it be rushing things or is it more like something that’s incredibly overdue?
He’s never really had much interest in things like kissing, so his thoughts feel foreign. It’s awkward how they still don’t know a lot about each other in these lives; it’s like they’ve known each other their whole lives, but they’ve also just met.
Eren doesn’t really know what to do with himself or how to entertain a guest, even Mikasa, when he’s so boring in this life. He’s also a fifteen-year-old boy and hungry most of the time, so he decides they might as well make dinner, even right after getting ice cream. Mikasa seems happy to help; she’s always liked cooking, he remembers.
It’s still jarring how easy it is to be around her. They talk a little more about their new lives and come to a mutual, silent agreement not to talk about the harsh parts of the past. It never feels awkward when things fall quiet between them; it’s like they just don’t need to fill in those quiet moments with meaningless chatter.
More and more, Eren realizes that he’s just as in love with her as before. Her presence makes him feel so much less alone, and even if he doesn’t know how to make any of this work, he wants it more than anything.
They’ve just finished cleaning up after themselves when there’s the sound of the front door unlocked.
“Mom’s home,” Eren says, grabbing Mikasa’s hand and guiding her to the front room in a rush.
“Eren— oh!” Surprise is all over Carla’s face at the sight of her son — her reclusive, antisocial son — hand in hand with a girl. “You… have a friend over.”
She says it like she can’t believe it, and it’s embarrassing to think of how unprecedented it truly is. Still, her surprise quickly turns into a warm, happy smile.
“Mom, this is Mikasa,” he says, tugging said girl even closer. It feels surreal; they should already know each other. “She’s…”
He trails off, not entirely sure just how to classify what they are to each other.
“I’m his girlfriend,” Mikasa cuts in firmly.
“Really?” Eren blurts out.
He flushes, as does Mikasa, and Carla’s eyebrows rise high on her forehead.
“If you want to,” Mikasa mumbles.
“Yeah, she’s… my girlfriend.” He can’t help the dumb grin that crosses his face as he says it and Mikasa squeezes his hand, pleased.
“I didn’t know you knew any girls.” Of course she has to say something embarrassing, but Carla looks happier than he can remember seeing her for a while. “It’s nice to meet you, Mikasa.”
Mikasa’s grip turns painfully tight. “It’s… so good to see you, A— Miss Yeager.”
“Call me Carla.”
She nods silently, her eyes misty in a way that makes Eren feel a little choked up too. It feels so surreal.
“So… where did you two meet?” Carla looks between the two of them, then down at their still-joined hands.
“We knew each other a long time ago,” Eren says carefully. It’s not actually a lie, which is good; his mom still always seems to know. “And then today, we met up again.”
“You mean I finally found you again,” Mikasa corrects him. “You didn’t make it easy.”
“I guess not.” He ducks his head, then sees the frown on his mom’s face. “Uh, we didn’t have phones when we knew each other before, so…”
“I see.” He can tell his mom has about a million questions for him but is showing admirable self-restraint, probably in an effort to not scare off the one person that her antisocial son has ever brought over. She’ll ambush him later, he’s sure. “Are you staying much longer, or do you need to leave soon?”
“She’s staying the night,” Eren tells her.
“Oh, is she?” His mom’s eyebrows rise up like they’re trying to leave her forehead, but she looks like she’s trying not to smile. Belatedly, Eren remembers that he’s supposed to get her permission for things like that.
“My parents said I can, if it’s alright with you,” Mikasa says. “They wanted to talk to you, but…”
“Of course it is.” Carla is smiling fully now again. “You can stay as long as you want. I’m dying to get to know my son’s girlfriend.”
The word is emphasized in a way that makes Eren turn red again. She excuses herself to change out of her work clothes a moment later, promising to talk to Mikasa’s parents soon. As soon as they’re alone, Mikasa turns to him and hugs him.
“This is… like a dream come true,” she whispers, like she’s confessing a secret.
“Yeah.” His voice cracks just a little and he presses their foreheads together. “It doesn’t feel real. I’m scared I’ll wake up and find out I was just dreaming it all up.”
She pinches him, hard enough for him to let out a little yelp. “Now you know you aren’t.”
He laughs, pulling her even closer to him, and they stay like that, wrapped up in each other, until Eren hears the sound of a phone’s camera clicking.
“Mom!” he squawks, jumping back from Mikasa. “Don’t!”
His mom is too busy smiling at the photo on her phone to pay any attention to him.
“Can I see?” Mikasa moves toward Carla, who holds out her phone to them.
The picture is… cute, as much as it pains Eren to admit. He and Mikasa look like two ordinary teenagers, lost in their own world as they embrace. They look good together. He kind of wants to set it as his wallpaper.
“Will you send that to me?” Mikasa asks.
“Of course. You two are so cute together.”
“Send it to me too,” he says.
“You didn’t want me taking it a minute ago,” his mom says.
Eren manages to be annoyed at her for about five seconds, but then his two favorite people are exchanging phone numbers and he’s smiling again. His mom is so happy and enamored with their relationship, despite still knowing so little about Mikasa. Of course she’d love Mikasa right away (who wouldn’t?), but she’s probably also just happy that her son finally has someone besides her in his life.
He’s been really trying to be a better son in this life, but he knows his mom worries about him anyway. It’s nice that now she has less reason to. Having Mikasa in his life again is something he’d never really dared to let himself hope for and now that she’s found her way to him again, everything is so different. She’s his girlfriend now.
It’s weird to feel like this: content and hopeful, instead of somewhere between apathetic and quietly determined. It still doesn’t feel entirely real but he doesn’t want Mikasa to pinch him again, so he doesn’t say anything about his continued disbelief.
After his mom takes a few minutes to call Mikasa’s parents and sort everything out, they spend some time together, casual and familial, just talking. It’s nice to see them getting to know one another in this life.
Before long, the three of them are settled in the living room, with his mom taking the chair and Mikasa and Eren on the small couch, cuddled up together. They end up watching some animated movie that he and Mikasa had seen as kids. His mom is probably the only one that really watches it, since he and his girlfriend spend more time watching each other than the screen; there are so many times that he catches Mikasa looking at him or vice versa.
At the end of the movie, the main characters get married, and Eren finds his attention once more going to Mikasa, only to find her eyes already on him. He can feel himself blushing as he avoids eye contact. They’re going to get married someday, too, aren’t they?
… Is it too early to propose? Does he have to wait for that since they can’t get married legally until they’re older, or should he do that soon, since he was never able to in their last lives? Oh, wait, married couples wear rings these days, so he’ll need to start working so he can afford one. There’s a lot to think about, and they won’t even be able to do anything for a few years.
Although, that just means they’ll have a few years of dating before that. Shit, is he going to need to learn how to be romantic? He can feel his face burning as his thoughts spiral. How is he ever going to pull off romance? Would Mikasa even like sappy stuff?
“What are you thinking about?” Mikasa near-whispers.
“Nothing,” Eren answers loudly, in what might be the least normal voice he’s ever used. He clears his throat and tries again. “Just… you know, thinking about the future.”
He almost adds “now that we have one” but then remembers his mom’s presence nearby. Mikasa gives him a little smile, almost shy, and takes his hand. He’s sure his hand is getting sweaty and gross again, but apparently she doesn’t mind.
The movie ends just a minute or two later and Carla rises from her seat.
“I’m going to bed now,” she tells them. “Don’t stay up too late.”
Her eyes linger on Eren, who scowls automatically. Of course she thinks he’d be the one to keep them up all night. “We won’t.”
She eyes them almost suspiciously where they’re still cuddled into each other on the couch. Mikasa is leaning against him heavily now, seeking his body heat.
“No funny business, you hear me? I’m too young to be a grandma.”
“Mom,” Eren whines, face burning, while Mikasa straightens up and puts some distance between them. “Shut up, we’re not— that’s— we’re not gonna do anything!”
“You’d better not. I raised you better than that.” She looks half-amused, though, and Eren realizes she’s equal parts teasing and warning. “Goodnight, you two. I’ll see you in the morning. I’ll make breakfast.”
He grumbles a reply, while Mikasa is more enthusiastic about it. He’s still half-pouting a few minutes after his mom leaves.
“I’m kind of tired, too,” Mikasa admits once they’re alone.
“Okay, let’s go to bed.” Eren doesn’t really want to, but oh well. They still have most of tomorrow.
He leads her to his bedroom, relieved by their unspoken agreement to completely ignore what his mom had said. They haven’t even kissed yet and now Eren isn’t sure if he wants to kiss her tonight. What if his mom finds out or something? That’d be mortifying.
Mikasa hadn’t really brought anything (and it’s so hard not to give her shit for how impulsive and badly-planned her trip had been, but it’s not like he wouldn’t have done the same thing), so they spend a few minutes searching the internet for the best way to disinfect a toothbrush so she can use his to brush her teeth. It flusters him somehow and he tries to pretend it doesn’t.
She borrows some of his pajamas to sleep in and they take turns changing in the bathroom. His pajamas fit her surprisingly well and she looks cute in his clothes, but it’s annoying that they’re basically the same size. Mikasa is already tall for a girl, all slender and pretty, and he’s just kind of scrawny and average-looking and on the short side… His growth spurt can’t come soon enough.
“You can have my bed,” he tells her. “I’ll take the couch.”
“Can’t we sleep together?” she asks, blushing a little. Eren does his best to ignore the wording. “I… want to fall asleep next to you.”
“Okay.” He doesn’t need any convincing. “My bed’s kinda small… Let’s sleep in the living room, we can move the mattress in there…”
After they’ve removed the bedding, he pulls at his mattress and Mikasa helps him get it off the bed frame. When he sees that she has it, he realizes there’s no real reason for him to make moving it an awkward two-person job when it’d be easier for her to carry it on her own, and lets go. He’s surprised to see Mikasa struggle with the full weight.
“You’re not strong anymore,” he blurts out.
She glares at him, cheeks reddening a bit, and drops the mattress entirely. He winces. What a stupid thing to say.
“Sorry, I’m just surprised.” He grabs it again, hoping she won’t make him move it on his own.
“I haven’t been for a long time,” she admits quietly, thankfully helping him slide the mattress toward his door. “Not since… the end.”
He hadn’t really thought about it. He tries not to think about the past in general, but he’d never much thought about how the Titans disappearing meant the Ackerman powers would, too. That must have been weird. “Do you miss it?”
“Sometimes,” Mikasa says, “but I’m used to… being normal now. I don’t mind.”
Eren doesn’t know what to say to that. His Titan powers had always come with so many problems that he’d never had much reason to miss them. At least in this world, he’ll probably be able to live a full life.
Together, they get the mattress maneuvered into the living room and lay it down on the floor. Eren is still struggling to wrap his head around the idea that Mikasa isn’t strong anymore.
“Can you even still pick me up?” He doesn’t mean to say it, really, but he just can’t stop thinking about it.
She glares at him again. It’s honestly kind of cute, and there’s a very petty part of him that likes it. He might be able to tease Mikasa without having to worry about being bodily lifted and moved if she gets annoyed enough.
“I don’t know,” she answers.
“I’m pretty light,” he adds.
“I haven’t been training,” she says. “So… maybe, but not like I used to.”
“I haven’t either,” Eren admits.
He gets exercise in P.E. in school and that’s about it. Without being a soldier, he hasn’t felt like there’s much reason to train his body, and he’s just not as energetic as he was when he was a kid. He’s pretty sure he’d be able to lift Mikasa and he kind of wants to try, but he’s not all that strong either and the likelihood of embarrassing himself is high… Maybe he should start working out or something. Would Mikasa be impressed if he did? Would she want to join him when she was able? The idea of actually being able to keep up with her is exciting.
Well, he’ll think about that later, since they’re supposed to be going to bed. Refocusing, he spends the next few minutes setting up their sleeping area for the night with Mikasa’s help. The couch cushions are lined out on the floor next to his mattress, spare blankets retrieved. His mattress is more comfortable than the cushions, so that’s where Mikasa will sleep; he makes sure to put the majority of the blankets on the mattress for her, remembering that she gets cold more easily than he does.
He leaves a light on in another room so that the living room is dark but not pitch-black. He likes being able to see Mikasa, the visual surety that she’s still present and real. When they lay down, they’re close enough to feel each other’s presence but not quite touching, and it takes Eren a minute to realize there’s no reason for him to avoid touching Mikasa. It’s not like cuddling is going to get her pregnant.
Eren wants to cuddle his girlfriend, so he does, putting an arm around her like he’d never been brave enough to do before. They wish each other goodnight, but neither of them makes any attempt to sleep, instead laying there and watching each other in the dark. He wonders if either of them is actually going to try to sleep, or if they’re just going to stare at each other all night instead.
He tries to close his eyes, but he’d rather look at Mikasa than the inside of his eyelids, so it doesn’t really last long. Reminding himself that he needs to sleep doesn’t help; it just makes him remember that he’s going to finally meet Mikasa’s parents tomorrow, and then he feels wide-awake.
“Are you still tired?” he whispers.
“Yes,” she replies just as quietly, “but I don’t think I can sleep.”
“Yeah, me either.” There are too many things to think about.
“I can’t wait for tomorrow. I’m… so happy you get to meet my parents. I dreamed about it for so long…”
He smiles at her barely-restrained excitement. “I hope they like me.”
“They will.” Mikasa says it like a fact, as if he hasn’t always been a pain in the ass at best.
He wishes he could feel as certain as she does, but the idea of meeting them is as intimidating as it is exciting. Even if he’s trying to be better in this life than the last, he’s still… himself. Should he try to impress her parents somehow? … How would he even do that?
He definitely needs to make a good impression, since he and Mikasa are going to spend their lives together as soon as they’re able to. It’s annoying that her parents are going to take her home tomorrow… Even if they can talk on the phone and online, he doesn’t want her to leave. Maybe his mom would agree to move if she can find a job? They could all live in the same area until he and Mikasa move out and get a place together when they’re married.
“When do you want to get married?” he asks.
Mikasa’s eyes go wider in the darkness. “You want to get married?”
“Well… yeah.” How is that even a question? “I want to spend my life with you.”
He’s not sure what he expects Mikasa to do, but it’s not to bury her face against him without saying anything. She’s shaking a little, and he realizes dumbly that she’s emotional.
Shit, did he make her cry?
It takes him a second to react, hugging her tight against him. Her face is pressed into his neck, a few tears dampening his skin.
“That’s all I want, too.” Her voice is slightly muffled, but it’s easy to hear how raw and unsteady she sounds. “I waited so long for this…”
“We’re gonna spend the rest of our lives together,” he assures her. “I’ll never leave you again… When you go home, I’ll call you every day. All the time, until you’re sick of me.”
“I could never get sick of you.”
It shouldn’t, but something about that simple sentence hits hard. How can she just say that? How can she still feel like that about him? How can any of this be real?
There’s so much that he hasn’t let himself remember about their past lives for so long that he’s not sure if he even can anymore, but he knows that he’d put Mikasa through a lot. He’d hurt her, and once it was even intentionally, and here she is, in tears because he’d said he wanted to be with her, saying she’d never get tired of having him around.
She remembers the past, she’d been hurt by him in the past, yet she still loves him unconditionally and wants him around.
There are tears sticking to his eyelashes too, suddenly, as he holds Mikasa impossibly tighter.
“Mikasa… I know I have a lot to make up for,” he starts, but she cuts him off.
“Don’t say that.” She pulls back and starts to sit up, and he wipes at his eyes, embarrassed, before mirroring the movement. “It doesn’t matter what you did before. That was… a different life.”
“But—” he starts to protest.
“Don’t.” He shuts up. “I’ve had… a long time to think about this. I don’t want you to try to make up for the past all the time.”
He frowns. How would it be fair to her if he didn’t try to make up for everything he’d put her through? How does that make any sense?
“I don’t want things to be different because of… what you did before.” She pauses, resting her hand on his arm. “I just want you to be you.”
“You…” Eren has no idea what he could possibly say to that. Words aren’t enough, so he shifts to draw her into a hug instead; but that’s not enough, either, when they’d already hugged several times that day, and he’s feeling so overwhelmed now, emotions too big for his body.
They’d hugged before, when they were still friends, and even if this feels different, more intimate, it’s making him realize: he still hasn’t kissed her. He should fix that.
He ends the hug with the sort of gentleness he’s never been good at, drawing back so he can look at her. The evidence of her previous tears is just barely noticeable in the dim lighting. He cups her cheek, watching as her lips part just slightly. She looks beautiful, he thinks, almost dazed by it and all the possibilities ahead of them, and he leans in to kiss her, eyes falling shut.
He gets the angle a little wrong, their faces bumping together before they figure it out. Her lips are soft and warm, a gentle pressure against his, and there’s a slight familiarity to the sensation. Distantly, he remembers that they’d only ever shared a farewell kiss.
Right at the very end, he thinks, a phantom blade at his neck. This is nothing like that, no tragedy or death — except that his mom will probably kill him herself, if she finds them like this.
It almost makes him laugh, and he’s smiling when he draws back. It’s such a stupid, sudden thought but something about it makes him almost giddy; they can be teenagers worried about stupid things like their parents catching them kissing.
“Mom’ll kill me,” he says, still smiling.
“Oh.” He can hear the blush in Mikasa’s voice. “I guess we shouldn’t.”
“We have time to wait now.” The words send a rush of excitement through him.
Time had always been against them before, but now they have full lives ahead of them. He’s always had his mom and now he has Mikasa, too, and he’s meeting her parents tomorrow, and maybe someday they’ll meet up with Armin again. Maybe someday, with their support, he’ll even be able to fix his relationship with his dad.
For the first time since he’s remembered his previous life, Eren feels hopeful. With Mikasa in his life again, the world feels brighter. It’s a new beginning, a chance for something better, and one he isn’t going to waste.