Work Text:
Charles, by nature, wasn't someone who liked sitting still and doing nothing. Always moving, easily bored, and searching for adventure wherever he could find it.
This was actually one of the many reasons why he'd stayed with Edwin. A ghost under the living. He just hadn't been done yet, there was so much more to do and see. Adventures to be had, in any way he could still have them. And he didn't let being dead stop him from having new experiences. When they started up their own Detective Agency, he had been thrilled!
In the last decades he'd done a lot of things. He had fought many battles, winning most and losing some. He had saved people. Making sure that someone else would get the happy ending that he and Edwin had deserved, and weren't allowed to have.
Charles made sure to experience life , a version of it at least. It was almost okay.
The point was, he wasn't normally one to be silent and motionless for long stretches of time, but tonight was different. Tonight he kept as still as possible, even keeping his breathing flat.
It was either really late at night or really early in the morning, he didn't know. Still dark outside, and quiet. Any other time he would've felt giddy, trying to fill the silence with stories or jokes, but not now. It was quiet, but it didn't weigh on him like it would other times. This was safe .
Over the last few years, starting just after the confession, he and Edwin had gotten closer. Of course, that was to be expected, they talked more, and they kept less secrets than before. But they got closer in other ways too, physically that was. And not in the way that Charles had expected, well, not only in that way.
Edwin had never been the best with touch, Charles had noticed that very soon after meeting him. He would flinch away, or go stiff as a board, rarely initiating it. After all these years, Edwin didn't shy away from Charles the same way he did with others. Even before they gave a name to what they were now, Edwin would hold his hands to calm him or hug him when Charles felt like he was going to fall apart.
Sometimes Edwin would allow him touch when Charles could see his mouth pinching in discomfort. Charles had learned fast, that there wasn't a lot that Edwin wasn't willing to do when it came to him. Maybe he should be willing to do less…
Later, when Edwin had started reading to him, when everyone else was asleep and there was no work to be done, Charles had learned to be quiet so he wouldn't stop. No one had ever really read to him, not even when he was a child. It was strangely intimate in a way that he didn't know how to describe. A sense of warmth and comfort that he learned to miss when there wasn't time for it.
It was gradual, really. At first it was just like when they had met for the first time. Edwin read, Charles listened, occupying the same space without crossing the lines. As time went on, they found themselves sitting on the same couch, side by side, close together but never touching.
One day, it was mostly a joke that Charles expected to get reprimanded for quickly, he had taken off his shoes and pushed his feet onto his friend's lap, right under the book. He had done it quietly and slowly, as if there was any chance he could've snuck past Edwin's awareness. There had been a pointed look, Charles had been ready to laugh and pull his feet away, but Edwin had rested the book on his ankles. Continuing to read, indulging him. It became common. A new normal.
And then, that new normal changed as well.
This was why, today, the universe found them like this .
Edwin, book in hand, reading for them both in his surprisingly expressive voice. Propped up against the armrest of the couch, legs stretched out, and Charles between him and the backrest his whole body pressed flush against Edwin's side. Feet entangled just so, his head resting a bit below his shoulder and his hand on the soft knitted vest. Edwin's chest was rising and falling, slowly, and Charles' body with it.
They were touching, head to toe, snuggled together.
This was why, tonight, Charles tried to not move. At all. Tried to stay as quiet and still as possible, so this - whatever it was - wouldn't stop. So Edwin would just keep on breathing and keep on reading to him. So he would let Charles stay so, so close.
It reminded him of the times he would sit motionless in front of the telly in his pajamas when the ads were rolling. Hoping that his mother would forget that he should've been in bed about an hour ago.
He turned his head, just a tiny little bit, to press his nose deeper into the dark fabric. Breathing in, as if he could smell anything there. Sometimes he wondered what Edwin had smelled like, back then when he was still alive.
Charles thought, if he himself had been alive now, he would've fallen asleep against Edwin long ago. Lulled to sleep by the steady breathing and the soothing voice. Between Edwin and the backrest, save and secure.
He couldn't, but he still closed his eyes. Maybe he could pretend for a while.
Edwin's voice washed over him until he could barely understand the words anymore. He couldn't sleep, but it still felt like he was dozing off. Caught in a daze, rocked up to the stars by the steady movement of Edwin's chest.
He barely noticed when fingers found their way into his hair, nails scratching at his scalp and twirling at his curls. A finger slowly tracing the outer rim of his ear. It was quiet in a way it hadn't been for hours. Had Edwin stopped reading?
With some effort Charles opened his eyes, squinting up, and found himself already being watched by Edwin. Eyes light and calm, focused on his face. He was smiling at him, a tiny smile, easily missed.
Charles made a sound, a question.
“Hm? Are you tired?”
He shook his head, closing his eyes again.
The hand wandered, touching his eyebrows light as a feather, tapping at the tip of his nose. A finger coming to rest on the little groove just above his upper lip. Charles wrinkled his nose and pursed his lips to catch the finger, and Edwin pulled away to brush up his lashes. A push and pull game that made Charles' chest fill up with bright light.
When Edwin's fingers traveled to his jaw to lift it up and he went willingly, without a fight. He knew what was coming, it wasn't the first time after all, but it still made him perk up in anticipation.
The slow press to his lips made him smile. So soft , just a touch and nothing more. Nothing deeper. Yet. Edwin always had to work up to the more excited touches, it seemed. One, two, three pecks, dry but steady, lip to lip, so he could get accustomed to touching.
>>We are touching, head to toe, why would you need to build up to it now?<<
Charles had been surprised to find just how much he loved these kinds of kisses. Like they had all the time in the world, like Edwin needed a little taste before building up the courage to take a bite.
“Do I taste good?”
Charles' voice wasn't more than a whisper. He hadn't actually meant to say anything, and Edwin was just as surprised. A harsh gust of air against his lips as he laughed, and then pulled back. Charles' head followed on instinct.
“What are you talking about?”
So fond that Charles felt embarrassment creeping up in him. He pressed his face back into Edwin's chest.
“No. Come back. Look at me.”
Coaxing him like he was precious and shy.
“ There we are. Hello!”
He rubbed their noses together when Charles finally looked back at him. Pressing little kisses to his eyelids and cheeks, before finally finding his mouth again. This time nipping at his upper lip, the tip of his tongue like a stamp to his bottom lip. A kitten-lick almost.
“ So sweet… ”
Charles pulled back, the phantom heat in his cheeks as if he was blushing.
“Shut up! ”
But Edwin followed him, changing his position in such a way that Charles slid off his chest. Now, propped up over him, he did it again.
“You taste so sweet.”
Mirth in his voice, he was poking fun at him. Charles had never been so in love.
Edwin didn't go further than chaste kisses and little nips for some long, wonderful moments. It was more intimate than anything Charles could've compared it to.
Edwin shifted his weight above him, and one hand came up, brushing over his stomach, his chest, reaching his face and coming to rest just at his chin. There was a glitter in Edwin's eyes that had Charles bite at his own lip, unable to look away, unable to close his eyes.
Then a thumb pressed at his bottom lip, a small nudge, a pull. Urging him to part his lips more. He did, letting his jaw go lax, mouth falling open. He hummed when their lips pressed together again, slotting deeper, a tongue licking into his mouth.
Their noses met at an awkward angle, and they both huffed a laugh. Unwilling to part, Edwin tilted his head even more to the side. A tiny spark of teeth at Charles' bottom lip. He hummed again.
On his back, hands cramped in between their chests, he couldn't really do much, besides letting it all happen.
There was nothing he'd do instead. This was great, actually.
If someone had asked Charles, at any time before or after his death, he would've said that he liked kissing. A lot. That he enjoyed it. That it was fun , and it felt good . He liked doing it, and he'd done it a lot before his death. Had done it a few times after his death as well. And it had always been fun, always been good.
But this was different .
He hadn't known what it was like kissing Edwin back then.
And it was so hard to explain, in the beginning he himself hadn't even understood what made it so different.
Maybe it's because they loved each other, he thought. Or because they were in love with each other. But he had loved before, he'd kissed his very first love under a tree in the snow. There were snowflakes in her hair. It had been wonderful, but it wasn't this .
It wasn't exactly because it was new and exciting, a novelty. He had kissed with much more adrenaline in his blood before. Out of breath, laughing after they escaped a teacher. It had been a thrill, but it wasn't this .
It wasn't even because Edwin was a man, he'd kissed one before. In a basement-room at a party, everything smokey and loud. He had been just a bit tipsy. It had been amazing, but it wasn't this .
The answer turned out to be so simple he hadn't thought about it at all.
It was the trust . The fact that he could be himself . The whole time.
With all the people he kissed, he'd put up a performance. He'd always been cool, daring, funny Charles. Rebellious with his black jacket, the sewn-on patches, the earring and the eyeliner. Strong because he played sports, because he could fight. Sure of himself with his witty quips and cheeky smiles.
Expectations came with that. How he should act, how he should be treated. How he'd kiss or be kissed . Expectations that he pretty much put on himself, most of the time he was happy with them. He'd always wanted to be seen as strong, confident, happy. Even when he didn't feel it.
Most of the time he didn't even mind. Or notice at all.
But now, looking back. Having this.
Edwin knew him so well, Charles trusted him with his soul and his thoughts and his actions. Edwin didn't put expectations on him.
Charles didn't have to prove that he was cool, or strong, or sure of himself. He didn't have to play a role here. Yeah, he could be all of those things, he was all of those things, but he was allowed to be more .
He was allowed to crave the soft touches, the way that Edwin would handle him like he was precious and easily hurt. He was allowed to be stupid and a bit of a loser, opening his mouth and saying complete nonsense that Edwin wouldn't ever judge him for. Not really . He didn't have to worry about how he looked, what state his clothes were in, if his hair was ridiculous. Didn't have to take the first step, or be dominant or anything.
He could just be . He could just have that . These sort of kisses. These sort of touches.
And the kisses were allowed to be awkward , or stupid , or playful . And it wouldn't make them less . It wouldn't ruin the moment or have him think about them and cringe later. Because with Edwin, he and all of his quirks were safe. It was just them, together.
Loving each other in any way that felt right to them, and it was so fucking beautiful .
He was allowed to have that now.
Edwin pulled back, and Charles licked at his own lip, trying to capture taste that wasn't there.
“And what are you thinking about? I can hear the wheels turning in that head of yours.”
Charles lifted a hand off of his chest, hooking two of his fingers in Edwin's collar, trying to pull him down again. Edwin went easily, sucking at Charles' lips, one hand tugging softly at the cross dangling from his ear.
“D'you ever think I'm ridiculous?”
Edwin pulled back further now, brows pulled together. Confused but amused.
“Frequently. You are the most ridiculous person I know.”
“Yeah?”
Another kiss, deeper than before. Charles' arm now tight around Edwin's shoulders, dragging him closer.
“Truly. Half the time I look at you confused. Have you not seen me?”
There was a hand at Charles' lower stomach now. Pulling the shirt free from the pants, pressing fingertips against the sliver of skin, just under his belly button. They pressed down, and relaxed as he was his skin gave. Soft. Just as soft as he felt.
“I saw you looking , I did. You're always looking… Wouldn't say you looked confused though.”
He couldn't hold in a laugh when Edwin abandoned his mouth in favour of nipping at his earlobe. Right where the cross was. His hand had wandered under his shirt fully now, fingers relaxed at the dip of his waist and thumb massaging at his stomach.
And he did have large hands, didn't he?
The feeling made his legs kick a bit and his toes flex.
“What did I look like then, pray tell?”
His voice tickled at his ear, a full body shiver ran its course and he pulled his shoulders up reflexively.
“Well… You look at my arms a lot, don't you? When my sleeves are rolled up? And when it's sunny you look like you're just waiting to eat me.”
Edwin was now kissing at his neck, making him tilt his head to give him more space. His hand still kneading at his stomach, higher now. Traveling up to his chest. His shirt stretched over Edwin's arm.
“ Only when it's sunny? Not very perceptive are you?”
“Oh? What am I missing… Pray tell ”
A rather undignified squeak when Edwin pinched right below his ribs.
“ Oi! ”
“You deserved it! But if you must know. I also look at you like that when you get cheeky with me. When you sit with the worst posture known to man. When you lean against a wall and you think you look so cool - you do not , mind you - drives me right mad. I want to have you then.”
Edwin took a break, sucking little marks at Charles' neck, above his collarbones, his hand now right over his chest. Rubbing up and down, making him squirm. His breath came much faster now, his legs sprawled out just a bit wider, Edwin leaning between them.
He pinched again, softly, this time at his nipple, and the next breath caught at something in Charles' throat. A tiny groan.
“I look at you like that when you fight, when you win… When you make puns - they truly are horrendous , Charles - when you laugh. When you laugh at me . So rude .”
If Charles could have a guess, he didn't think Edwin minded him being a bit rude. Not with the way Edwin's thigh moved up, hoisting Charles leg higher. Not with the way Edwin's voice was darker now, his hand now playing with the nubs on his chest. He pressed a few open-mouthed kisses right where his hand was plucking at him. Over the fabric of his shirt. Charles hated that shirt, actually. He wouldn't ever wear it again.
“Hm… I think you like it when I'm rude.”
He paused, not because he wanted to, but because there was a high, shaky sound building in his chest that he had to breathe through. His eyes were closed again, but this time there wasn't any danger of him dozing off. Brows furrowed and hands clutching at Edwin's neck, trying to pull him up so he could kiss him…trying to push him down so he could kiss somewhere else.
“I think that you like me .”
“It is rather unseemly. I do . I fear my reputation will not survive it.”
Somehow he had pulled the shirt up, far enough to put his mouth to his skin, right where his hand was already busy driving Charles crazy.
God, Charles wished the marks would stay. He would have so many of them. Edwin was a bit bitey and liked to pull and suck at his skin…Not only his skin.
He hissed a curse, making Edwin shudder this time. He could feel it. He loved the effect he had on him.
“Everyone can see you looking, you know? No way you still have that reputation of yours.”
“Ridiculous. You are ridiculous .”
“Yeah?” Oh he really sounded out of it now, his voice all rough. Charles didn't mind at all. There was nothing to hide in front of Edwin.
He pushed him down further.
>>Come on, just a bit further.<<
“Yeah? What else am I?”
“ Wonderful . You are just wonderful.”
And then Edwin reached his waistband, his mouth wet on his skin.
They didn't talk much after that. But Edwin did assure him that he >tasted sweet<.