Work Text:
A Honkai: Star Rail Self-Insert and Sequel to “I Suddenly Became a Voice in My Favorite Genshin Impact Character's Head?!”, originally posted on my Wattpad's Story ideas book on October 24, 2023. Since this was technically written before ISBAVIMFGICH (bro I noticed this before but goddamn that's such a long ass title. I know that was the point— to emulate those light novels/manga/literally any Japanese literature— but still. Though, I'm genuinely curious as how you would shorten it (like Genshin Impact-> Genshin). Please don't mind the inconsistencies and dip in quality too much^^ (As in, it's much more in the headcanon format rather than storytelling.)
But, as a treat, there will be more content/slight revisions in here! (It will eventually be added in Wattpad as well, but probably not now cuz I'm lazy and I found out that crossposting is pretty frustrating without using a Google Doc first.) It's actually not that much but I figured why not since I have thought more about this fic since the initial publication.
Oh, and I'll talk a little more at the end, just to talk about stuff I forgot from the first chapter. And I guess have a retrospective on this part.
Without further ado, enjoy!
Or, when a certain Aeon of Abundance forces an optimistically nihilistic human into their Emanator.
Uh some Trigger Warnings cuz y'all actually need it this time: Yaoshi (like look at them), toxic relationships, dissociation, slight (???) body horror, gore (if missing something please tell me)
Also, since this is a self-insert, don't steal or use this idea!
Okok so this is most likely gonna be a sequel to the Scaramouche Voice fanfic idea that I have and I'll probably talk about in a later chapter (and maybe even the SAGAU spin off of that (yes I know that) (if you don't know what that is you probably shouldn't search it up if you don't like yanderes)) so here's some background info:
Voice in Scara's head eventually gets a vessel created by Nahiha (using knowledge about Scara and Dottore's segments as a base), and properly meets Abyss!sibling (I like abyss!Aether so I'll be referring to him from now on) (cuz before, the two would talk whenever Scara loses consciousness during his trips in the abyss). I imagine that the Voice keeps on accidentally "clipping" through and falling into the abyss to the point that Aether offered them to learn how to utilize Abyssal powers and create a network so that they can just teleport and go. And then in the end of the fic, idk I guess everything's gone to shit cuz the Voice get's killed by Aether in an attempt to save the Traveler and Wanderer.
Oh and also they used to be someone from our world and obsessed with Genshin and Scaramouche (basically a weird ass isekai). And they sleep a lot.
But one way or another, the Voice's dying body slips through the cracks of the universe and appears before the path of Yaoshi.
Ok ok I know I left a lot of shit out but it's just necessary background info and honestly I actually tried to write the fic but then I realized that Genshin is not finished (meaning possible lore contradictions and I hate that).
Anyway, Yaoshi was just drifting by (you know, taking in the sights, helping people reach their true potential as eternal beings, avoiding a gay horse like the plague despite being literally known as the plague author) when they come across an almost-corpse just floating by. And they're all like "no no no! I can't let this poor unfortunate soul perish!" And kinda just stabs their scorpion tail into the Voice's chest wound.
The Aeon was gonna put them into full health and even give them immortality, but then the Voice suddenly wakes up during the process.
"Aye yo what the fuck WHO ARE YOU I DIDN'T CONSENT TO THIS—"
Ok but the Voice did know who they are, how could they when they also played Honkai Star Rail... and because unfortunately, Yaoshi's also their favorite.
It's me. I'm the voice. HAHAHAAHAHA BUT SERIOUSLY IT'S SUCH A SHAME SINCE THEY'RE SO PRETTY YET THERE'S ALSO SO LITTLE CONTENT OF THEM LIKE THEY DIDN'T EVEN APPEAR IN THE SWARM GAME MODE HNGGGGGGG WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
And since there's so little content of them, that means there's so little fan content of them... so little fanfics!!! And like half of them are dead dove uh. I mean, it makes sense considering what type of character they are and the writing IS good— it's just that sometimes I want a little fluff with my favorite (that being said this fic could very easily turn hella dark depending on the directions I take) (spoiler alert— future me here— it does I'm so sorry)
Oh boy I keep on getting distracted um so the Voice tries telling them to you know not make them immortal cuz while they're grateful they got revived, they didn't even like living for 18 years (plus another 300 oops—), what makes you think they want to live forever?
"Also I said some really corny shit before I, well, before I got into this situation that could be overlooked only because I was, ya know, dying, so, uh, it'd be hella awkward if I just flat out show up all fine and dandy, ya feel me?"
And Yaoshi is just watching them in amusement, the little humanoid babbling in one of their numerous palms. It was such a refreshing experience and somehow better than interacting with their devoted followers: someone not fearing or raging over them, someone who (although the Voice did not agree with them) didn't outright reject their beliefs but provide such creative insight—
Ah. The Aeon of Abundance's smiled, their millions upon millions of eyes crinkling like crescent moons. They just had an idea.
"Beloved creature of life," Yaoshi called out. The Voice suddenly felt a shiver crawling down their artificial spine, halting their rambling to look up at the large deity. "Let's make a little deal." The Voice felt a little skeptical at the sudden offer, evident by the creases of their face, yet had no where to run when the giant Aeon raised them up to eye level. Yaoshi leaned forward and before the artificial human could do anything, they kissed them.
Surprise jolted down the Voice's body, even more so when they vaguely felt something slip into their mouth.
The Voice was caught in such a daze that they almost missed Yaoshi's face full of mirth. "I shall extend your body's limitations, fusing with my blessings, until your very essence belongs to me."
And then gently (as gentle an Aeon could be), the benevolent Plague Author blew them into the cosmos.
So the Voice got flung into the shadow realm 💀. (Cuz the equivalent of gentle to a giant Aeon is probably a hazard to tiny, tiny people)
Also if Yaoshi sounds OOC I'm sorry but also not cuz I'm too lazy to research how they speak and it's MY brainrot and therefore I chose their characterization.
Also also I kinda suck at dialogue so imma explain the deal so uh basically the Voice is "Mara-stricken" but instead of just the gift of abundance in them, they also have a link to Yaoshi's conscience— acting sorta like a parasite and allowing the Voice to regenerate and heal quickly. As time passes and they use the Aeon's powers more, Yaoshi will slowly takeover the Voice's body: the body becoming Yaoshi's vessel so that on the off chance that they are "killed" by Lan, Yaoshi can straight up respawn in the Voice's body— sort of like a horcrux from Harry Potter (? I think so??? Idk I've actually never indulged into that series I'm basing this information from this one Minecraft Muder Run series). What's worth noting though is that that Yaoshi can actually control the speed of the "mara."
Why bother doing that and not taking their body instantly? Well, they've always wanted to interact with humans in a more casual manner (and see life as a human) and since the Voice has a rather open personality, they decided to become a spectator of the Voice's journey, just like how the Voice was the spectator of Scara's journey. A bit of a reversal of the past installment, tee hee (I say but literally no one knows what I'm talking about) (WAIT PEOPLE DO NOW THAT’S FUCKING CRAZY).
Hopefully I explained it well. I think I babbled too much but it's 1am and I'm sore as hell. I think it'd be fine.
Also I think I lied I mean there's gonna be fluff but I think the relationship between Yaoshi and the Voice will be hella toxic (Voice being the victim yet not really caring). I mean Yaoshi isn't really a green flag, regardless of what you think of the lore between the Hunt and the Abundance. But then again the relationship between the Voice and Scara wasn't really healthy either (not necessarily toxic but very co-dependent)... man I am really fucking bad at making my delusions positive (which is weird cuz, ya know, they're my fantasies)
But know you what relationship with the Voice would be healthy? Blade. Surprisingly.
OKAY BUT HEAR ME OUT. So I was considering on the Voice (look I know this is a self-insert but it feels hella weird to use my own name in a fic like that's cringe so much to the point that I was gonna call myself Lady Gaga (as a bit I could never replace her irl) (also because I don't actually know how Lady Gaga looks like irl like there's an image but it's hella blurry) in the Scara Voice fic) landing in either the IPC (cuz I really like Luocha and Otto is literally my fav Honkai Impact character) or the Stellaron Hunters base but when I found out that the IPC followed another Aeon, I decided on the latter (because I feel like it would just be more unnecessary in-story drama). Though, if I picked the former, a dragged-out bit would be the Voice treating Luocha like Otto or Void Archive and just ruining every female interaction he has. (Basically doing that one JJK scene with the gang tryna stop Megumi from being with a girl)
Voice: Mister (because it would be weird to call him Luocha if they're not in the Xianzhou), if someone tries to have sex with you without a condom, chop their dick off.
Luocha: ...why would you assume I would sleep with a man.
Voice:
Voice: look, I would make a female example— because I strive for true equality— but anything I say would instantly put us straight in the Dead Dove tag. *Roughly grabs him by the arms, staring him down with crazed eyes* DO YOU WANT TO BE ASSOCIATED WITH DEAD BIRDS???
Also if we don't make this related to the Scara prequel (like make this it's own thing), then let's pretend that MC originated from a planet that was obsessed with books (like booktok).
BUT BACK TO THE PLOT so Voice kinda just crashes through the Stellaron Hunters base (do they even have one) and is like instantly has weapons aimed at them. Sam, Kafka, and Blade are there, along with the infamous black cat— Silver Wolf isn't here cuz I plan for this to take place a bit before the OG story starts so that if this becomes an actual fic, I wanna do Stellaron crimes mentioned in the SH short.
"Uh, I would explain myself but I feel like if I were to say things bluntly, you'd think I was from Punklorde. I mean, I would like to be but also that would give off the wrong impression and misunderstandings that I really don't want— you know what? Does anyone have a memory reading device? Because I feel like that'd be easier."
So turns out they do have one (or maybe Kafka can use Spirit Whisper or something idk) and well one way or another Elio makes a deal with the Voice because frankly, they were not part of the script (since she's a Descender and so I think it would be cool if the perk of not being bound to world laws carried on from Teyvat to whatever the fuck this place is)— it's essentially just keeping the Voice in check while also utilizing their abyssal powers as a bonus. And the Voice is like eh ok because it isn't the worse situation since these people don't really seem to care about backgrounds, it seems better than antagonizing them, and it'a probably better than being with any Denizens of Abundance (Yaoshi is offended).
Also while I'm here I just wanna talk about the Voice's gameplay if they were an actual playable-character: the Voice is an emanator of the Abundance, so it goes without saying that they'll be a Nihility character! Aaaojfjskjfjfjdjeifjsks kidding but if we were to pretend if this was the actual game, I'd make it so the fact that they're associated with Yaoshi a secret to the Astral Express crew, only revealing it at a very dramatic moment. Honestly maybe that's when they'll become a 5 star Abundance character but then again I'm too lazy to create a whole ass separate design for that (well, at that point, features of Yaoshi will start to appear on their body so I guess that would be the only change). In any case, they'd probably be a quantum character since that's the closest to Abyssal powers I guess.
In terms of gimmicks, there wouldn't really be one? It's honestly more of them being a dps with healer attributes cuz I headcanon that whenever the Voice hits someone, they actually heal them instead of inflicting actual damage (like there will be pain but they'll feel better afterwards) (this is actually them doing their best to control the abundance powers because letting it loose will actually accelerate the hit person's cells and cause tumors, like the Mara)
Yaoshi: what are you doing, dear Emanator?
Voice: *not looking away from their medical textbook, next to stacks of even more textbooks* I read a Naruto fanfiction where an isekai'ed person got super regenerative powers and it was all fine and dandy until they tried to heal an injured dog, only to give it tumors and die a horrifyingly graphic death. It was very traumatizing and I WILL NOT do the same mistake (this is an actual fic but I do not remember the name but I'm pretty sure it was on Quotev tho).
So, incorporating this into gameplay, the skill will make them attack a target (maybe by growing a branch like that damn deer boss???) and then heal the character with the lowest health based on the Voice's Max Attack. The burst will do an AoE attack (maybe form a Yaoshi hand and crush the enemy?) that has a 100% chance of inflicting entanglement and a massive vulnerability debuff (I know that's basically Welt's burst but quantum but shhhh I'm trying). ...and that's basically it— idk much about gimmicks. Ooo let's say that after every burst, the Voice's skill will extend to healing all allies (and maybe an eidolon can make it so that the skill also becomes an AoE attack).
OK BUT REALLY BACK TO THE PLOT but also not really becasue I don't really have a plot after this so I'll talk about the kinds of relationships that the Voice will have.
I think that surprisingly, they'll get along with Blade the most. Of course, it'd be pretty tense at first considering how socially inept they both are (why am I dissing myself). Also, I imagine the Voice calling Blade "old man" (cuz he is pretty old) fondly.
That being said, they only really considered each other as just “co-workers” until a certain… incident.
Honestly, they should have seen this coming. Sure, they were rather new to the business, but they should’ve known something was off when Elio’s script had a huge gap between the end of the mission and when they’d come back to the base. That, and how they alone was teamed up with Blade. Well, he was a pretty chill guy when not in battle, so maybe nothing would happen?
Aha. How ridiculous.
Cue to the Voice running after the madman that is Blade who just so happens to be running after a Rex Incognito— I mean, Dan Heng. Why??? They struggle to catch up to the two, the Voice regarding the distant, divine laughter in their head with disdain. You’d think that gaining a puppet body and then gaining absurd regenerative powers would make them better at athletics. “You damn old man, stop for a moment!”
But alas, that only fell upon undead ears as the said old man was currently consumed by Mara. Yaoshi, can you tell him to stop, uh, chasing after his ex-but-not-actually?
”Hmmm,” the Plague Author’s silvery hum was music compared to the vessel’s haggard breaths, “to some extent, the ability exists; however, the Mara is controlled by the most prominent emotions.”
Ah… so revenge, the Voice grimly concludes as they slow to a stop: the men had reached a dead end and were currently brawling it out like typical lovers-to-enemies. In that case, I can’t do anything… just great. Their back slouched as they pressed their palms onto their knees, sloppily regulating their bodily functions. Why didn’t Elio assign Kafka in this mission if this was gonna happen? What, is Blade supposed to snap out of the Mara himself or something?
Raising their head, their gaze suddenly locked with greyish-blue eyes. Wha—
Before they knew it, the Voice is swept off of their feet, senses disorienting as a vice hold on their torso dragged them back. The sound of wind rushes in their ear as the vessel stumble on their feet— the Voice struggling to get some bearings— only to tense at the sharp spear angled right at their neck. “Don’t move!” Dan Heng commanded, yet the emanator could feel the desperation seeping through his tone and accelerating heart beat, “this is your companion, right?! Get any closer and I’ll kill them!”
Ah. The Voice instantly relaxed— heck, they might’ve leaned back against the Vidyadhara if it weren’t for the likely possibility that he might freak out and push them off. He’s bluffing— ain’t no way ‘lil Cold Dragon Young would kill an innocent… probably. If anything, it’s Blade who’ll—
Wait.
Their eyes widen in realization, craning their head towards the Mara-stricken man before them. His body was hunched over and still, yet Blade’s grip on his shard sword never faltered, his bloodshot eyes only spoke of pure, unadulterated mania. Oh shit— the Voice steps back frantically as the Stellaron Hunter suddenly bursts into a sprint, weapon raised and grin wide. Before the Voice could even think, they pushed Dan Heng away, “Don’t—“
The sword mercilessly plunges into their chest.
A cold, sharp pain erupts throughout their entire body, the vessel choking out hot blood before beingruthlessly thrown aside. They land roughly, red sloshing out of their damaged vessel. “Aah—“ the Voice pants helplessly before breaking into a fit of wet coughs, eyes dilating and vision blearing and hands fumbling on the gushing wound and legs spasming and the sense of Deja vu and memories of certain star—
“Shhhhhh…” Yaoshi’s enchanting mumbling pulls their emanator into their graces. “You have the blessing of Abundance, there’s no need to fret,” they sweetly reassure, contrasting the hellish sensation of flesh regenerating and twisting together. “Look here, your pitifully tangible body is healing— entrust your frail, weak self to me and escape death.”
It hurts. It’s immensely painful and it takes the Voice all of their strength not to scream out in anguish, but the aeon’s usual saccharine yet patronizing tone grounds them. “Tha… thanks.” The Voice weakly murmurs under their breath, hearing a gleeful chirp resonate in the back of their mind. Their gaze is blurry, but they can make out both Blade and Dan Heng clashing blows once more in their peripheral. He… He really isn’t gonna stop till one of them dies, huh?
Don’t think, don’t think, don’t think, don’t think, don’t think. They desperately attempt to ignore the scorching pain in their torso, mulling over the annoying situation. Again, why wasn’t Kafka brought along? Elio must’ve thought that that I would’ve been able to deal with the problem and while I am the emanator of the Abundance, that doesn’t mean that I can control—
Their stomach churns once they remember what exactly Yaoshi said: “to some extent, the ability exists; however, the Mara is controlled by the most prominent emotions,” meaning that to control him, I have to sway his emotions… but how? What can I do to sway centuries of agony?
No, maybe it’s more simple than that. Maybe all I have to do… is think.
The Voice closes their eyes, dipping their mind to caresses of the Abundance… and thinks.
The cold air that freezes upon her silhouette.
The heaviness of her fingers that urged to simultaneously move and still.
The wet, harsh sensation of iron rising from her throat and pooling in her mouth.
The clashing of metal that screeches in her ears.
The excruciating pain on her chest.
The cold disbelief at the memory of wide, manic blood eyes staring back at her.
The numbing grief at the memory of wide, regretful golden eyes staring back at her.
The breathless, choked apology he whispered to her before marching off to his duty.
The haze of walking, stumbling, treading on death’s door through that grassy terrain.
The tender yet shaky embrace that caught her fall.
The cold wetness of tears dripping onto her failing body.
His eternally beautiful face.
Everything overwhelms— consumes her, her mind spiraling to a chaotic, unrelenting vortex of emotions. She lets it.
Tentatively, she sucks in a sharp intake and—
She wails.
At first, her voice is feeble, quiet, yet it slowly crescendos to pathetic, shrilly sounds of pure despair. Dan Heng flinches whereas Blade merely freezes— yet both turn towards the body surrounded by blood. “Wh— wha…” the Vidyadhara stammers in bewilderment.
”You dumb fuck!!!” Shinigami shrieks like a banshee, tears streaking down her face and mixing with the Abundance-filled blood, “you fucking shit piss fucker!!!” The taller Stellaron Hunter stays silent, yet the emanator persists on her shouting, grasping at every single feeling she felt. “Bitchass Ren, why’d you go and stab—” she coughs out blood, even as her wound is mostly healed at this point— “that fucking hurt!!!” She would have been intimidating, if not for the heavy anguish in her trembling tone— or perhaps that only made her more haunting instead.
The emanator could barely comprehend what she was babbling out at this point, emotions overflowing like the disgusting notions they were. Yet, she zoned in when her perpetrator thoughtlessly mumbled: “…you won’t die.”
”No shit, you dumbass!!!” Shinigami struggled to get up, her face scrunching into a fierce glare. However, at the far crevasses of her mind, there was a sense of gratification at Blade’s response, for that he was responding. She held in a snarky sneer— he’s still out of it but he’s coherent enough to listen. “But goddamn, that doesn’t fucking means that you can fuck off and stab me! It hurts no matter how many times you die— you out of all people should know that!!!”
She sobs once more, yet her voice suddenly sounds childish, all too young and too… heartbreaking. “Just— just come over here and comfort me, jackass!!!”
Something pulls at the weapon’s chest. Blade’s grip on his sword tightens as he shuts his eyes, teeth grinding against each other in concentration. Dan Heng watches the Mara-stricken person cautiously, spear at the ready at the smallest hints of aggression, but finds himself surprised when his killer trudges away from him and towards the crying girl instead. The Stellaron Hunter reluctantly crouches down next to the emanator, his bloodied hand reaching out briefly before halting and pulling back. “…Sorry.”
The Voice hiccuped: “As— as you should.” Their strength was minuscule at best, but they raised their hands to latch onto his once outstretched hand, ignoring the sudden tenseness as she then plopped it on his head. “Comfort me,” they sniffed in a whiny tone.
”Aah,” Yaoshi cooed to no one but their emanator, “look at you, must you woefully persist with that fragile body of yours? Worry not, let me free yourself from the cycle of being, and—“
Shut the fuck up— you have an obsessive, murderous stalker lolz lmao how does that even happen to Aeon, the Voice mocks internally as they were, quite frankly, too emotional for the aeon’s bullshit— though externally they looked only miffed as their coworker begrudgingly petted their head. In the Voice’s defense, they had to be overly emotional and dramatic to have some chance of reeling Blade’s Mara in, so they can only hope that their efforts paid off in full.
Speaking of being paid off: out of five people, three must pay a price—
The emanator spots the little (but not really since he’s taller) dragon boy in the corner of their eyes and just. Just stares at him.
Dan Heng, thankfully, gets the hint— hesitantly bobbing his head towards them before absolutely booking it. And, thankfully, Blade doesn’t see him go— well, if he did, then he didn’t bother resuming his murder spree. Now that the situation has finally been resolved, the Voice sighed, only wincing at the realization they were still sitting in a puddle of sticky blood. They weakly kick at Blade’s knee. “You’re a fucking jerk, you know that?”
”…I’m sorry.”
”And you got my clothes ripped and dirty.”
”Sorry.”
”You’re gonna do laundry this week.”
”Okay.”
”And I’m gonna tell Kafka on you.”
”Oka— you wouldn’t.”
”What you gon do, huh? Kill me again?”
Yall I’m reading this scene and I’m CRINGING OH MY GOD ITS SO BAD BUT LIKE IM ALREADY POSTPOSING THIS MORE THAN I WOULD'VE LIKED IDK MAYBE ILL REWRITE THIS HNGGGGGGGGG also yes I spent five minutes listening to Mahito’s bitchass wailing as a reference only to realized that Daki’s babyass crying from KnY probably would’ve been better. Oh well.
So after this is when they’ll actually try to become friends! It’s almost a bit of trauma-bonding: Voice acting childish over Blade’s gruff attitude and Blade finding some semblance of self-control after dealing with their stupid ass. And they get to shit talk about Yaoshi together, how nice! (Yaoshi can hear them but they both don’t give a fuck.)
Also the reason why Elio sent only those two on a mission even though they knew Blade’s Mara would flare up is so the Voice would find out how to “control” the Mara whereas Blade would learn that he can’t just only care about revenge. Also also, I’m not sure if I explained it properly but the reason why the Voice was able to bring Blade out of his manic state is cuz Mara is directly tied with emotions, thus they used the compressed emotions they’ve held in deep inside (trauma) and intense physical sensations (aka the stab wound) to enforce or push the Mara away. Idk I’m just making bs at this point like I’m pretty sure this entire scene alone is making plot holes in this brain dump.
Voice: you know, unleashing all of my emotions for once felt really nice!
Yaoshi: see? I told you releasing yourself from the mortal binds woul—
Voice: I didn’t mean it like that ya dumbo
Also also also, aka idk where else to put this, but after that event, the Voice will tell Blade that if he had to kill/stab them, to never stab them in the heart. While confused, Blade doesn’t question them— Yaoshi does tho :D They find out sooner or later tee hee.
Small tidbit— I know that Blade's at least 700 years old but the Voice actually popped in Scara's head after he joined the Fatui but before the Raiden Gokuden extermination so at they're least 300 years old (cuz, plot-wise, I doubt Scaramouche would be willing to put up with a sudden voice in his head when the game starts). This means that while not the same age, the Voice is definitely older than the average human (tho unlike Blade, who is a total grandpa, the Voice still thinks like a teenager since most of her time was spent in someone's head).
Voice, whenever Blade's Mara flares up: Bro what in the wuxia danmei is this.
Honestly, this relationship is probably the only one where I'm okay with making kys jokes, cuz I know that neither side is gonna take offense— also Voice might actually want Blade to die: well, they'll be sad if it happens but they also want Blade to be at peace.
Moving on, the Voice is still gonna act like a bratty little sister, which would go well with Silver Wolf when she gets recruited cuz. Well. She’s also a brat LMAO. The two would be the insufferable duo with one keeping the other’s mischief a secret. And the best part is that the Voice would be a willing Player 2 for video games, albeit a not very good one. (Also Silver Wolf gotta sound proof her room cuz the Voice gets hella loud when playing games.)
Speaking of Silver Wolf, it’s a 50/50 if the Voice would understand or go along with her slang cuz if it’s just gamer talk then I’ll probably be fine. But some stuff that Gen Alpha and even Gen Z says makes me CRINGE SO MUCH. Like “rizz” and “goat” is fine (though I spent half a year getting used to it) but WHAT THE FUCK IS “NO CAP” “TWEAKING” AND “DELULU” EWWWWWWW THAT SOUNDS TERRIBLE (don’t say “ick” I hate that term too). But then again I’m rather slow on slang (legit only started using “frfr” months after it became popular) BUT whenever I try to act like others online, I die a little inside.
Silver Wolf: *spews out the most cringeworthy dialouge*
Voice:
Voice: Yaoshi take me now
Yaoshi: with pleasure!!
Voice: no wait wAIT I WAS JOKING—
However, if it’s to bother Blade, Silver Wolf and the Voice will team up to annoy the FUCK out of him lmaooooooo. Grumpy grandpa and his annoyingly endearing kids.
I think the Voice is the only person with the balls to lie to Kafka's face lol. Tbh I feel like this is the hardest relationship for me to come up with since I don't really have a good grasp of her character, but I like to think that the Voice has a habit of lying (or at least hiding stuff) so they'll just casually lie to her without deeply meaning to. To Kafka, this'll seem like a little game, a little entertainment, to pick out the lies from the truth. Is the Voice scared of her? Yeah, but then they realized that they don't really care what happens to themselves since they can just be "revived back" by Yaoshi— not to mention how Elio hopefully ordered her not to hurt them too much.
”Come over here,” Kafka beckoned the Voice over with an alluring smile, waving her gloved finger lazily. The Voice looked away from their medical text with a curious hum, stumbling onto their feet before scampering over to the woman. Once they were in front of her, Kafka tilted her head and moved her hand in between the two, palm faced up.
She looked at the Voice, expectantly. And expectantly, the Voice didn’t know what the fuck she wanted. They tilted their head with furrowed brows, glancing back and forth between Kafka and her hand, but the woman merely stayed silent with that sly smile permanently plastered on her face. The Voice slightly puffed out their cheeks with a narrowed gaze, pressing their lips slightly before hesitantly raising their own hand and lightly placing it on top of the gloved one.
Kafka finally broke the silence, a soft giggle rumbling out of her throat, “good.”
The Voice blinked: “Am I supposed to be a dog?”
Another laugh, this time with the woman shifting to properly hold their hand, “you didn’t refuse, so don’t be so offended.” Kafka’s eyes then narrowed, albeit minuscule, “no, more so you should be more offended.”
”Hm?” The Voice let out, tilting their head in confusion, “why so?”
”You always heed my requests, to the point that my Spirit Whisper is never needed,” the Stellaron Hunter explained simply, “our dear Bladie does so as well— but that’s more so for his own benefit in quelling the Mara. You on the other hand, while I am quite pleased with your compliance, are more like a pushover.”
The emanator of Abundance’s face scrunched, “okay, blunt and rude.” They paused once more, their face forming into an expression of contemplation: “but you’re right— I am a bit of a pushover; however, it’s not like I’ll do everything I’m told, I’m not that obedient.” The Voice let out a mulling hum, “I guess it’s cuz you’re polite when asking? Like you don’t use harsh tones or raise your voice when ordering me around, and your requests aren’t really absurd—“ they then glanced at the woman with a wonky smile— “I guess you just haven’t given me a reason not to listen to you.”
The Voice could see Kafka’s hazy eyes widen for a second, yet before they could comment, the magenta-haired woman loosened her hold on their hand to slither its way up to the back of their head. With little force, the Stellaron Hunter pulled the emanator close and pressed their foreheads together, tentatively avoiding her sunglasses. “You have quite a way of words, don’t you?” She teased, yet there was a foreign sense of tenderness in her tone.
The Voice was surprised at the sudden intimacy, yet relented to sighing sheepishly through their nose, “of course— I’m a writer, after all.”
That being said, Shinigami would absolutely refuse changing out of her red bathrobe, no matter how much Kafka detests the thing. Kafka has a big hobby of collecting coats, and so seeing something so “hideous” (quotations because FUCK YOU IT GIVES CHARACTER) might be the closest thing to fear she can get— she wouldn’t be caught dead wearing that. Oh, well! It’s too bad that it’s part of my persona!
I feel like Kafka would also offer Shinigami to play the “One Truth, One Lie” game, but the latter would refuse cuz I fucking suck at those types of games (sure, I can lie, but with a shit ton of pressure??? No way).
I don’t have much for Sam,,, I’m writing this before 2.0 and I don’t wanna postpone this anymore than I need to. I’m just gonna hope that Voice and him will get along. As for Elio, I do have some idea about them but… that will be delved into later.
And so now for the main part— Yaoshi! ...Oh boy Yaoshi. Look while I am enthusiastic to talk about them, I feel like their relationship with the Voice is way too complicated to talk about... but I'll try.
Honestly, in the beginning, Yaoshi sees the voice as a toy: just something that amused the deity and stood out compared to the debris in the cosmos. The Voice was fine with that— it wasn't like the Aeon was physically bothering her and it was nice to have someone to rambled to whenever they wanted (pointingly ignoring the pang in their chest when they were reminded of another person cough cough Scaramouche cough that allowed her the same thing). I also think that Yaoshi would often coo at their emanator whenever they got hurt, just like one would whenever a pet or a child accidentally stubbed their toe or something.
But instead of stubbing their toe, it's usually either the Voice losing a limb or suffering a would-be fatal wound— sometimes both haha. As seen earlier, Yaoshi would usually respond by whispering to their mental ear sweet yet condescending nothings like "aww how reckless of you to lose your arm," "don't worry, I'll heal your weak, pitiful body right up," and "once you're assimilated into my body, you'll never remember the dreadful pain you feel now!" Stuff like that.
Honestly, the Voice has always wanted to be babied but now that they've gotten the treatment... it's annoying. Just slightly.
To Yaoshi's defense, the Voice is hella bad at protecting themselves. And to the Voice's defense, it's not like they try to be reckless— reminder that they were originally from OUR world (unless I'm somehow in a different reality lol) in which, well, typically you aren't doing deadly heists or battling against aliens daily. Sure, they were transported into Genshin Impact, but most of the time they were in someone's head and when they did get a body, it was during a peaceful time in Sumeru. Legit the only reason why they were an obstacle to Abyss!Aether when shit hit the fan was because of their bond beforehand made him hesitate on "killing" them. So yeah, while the whole healing process is excruciatingly painful (because of course it would if you had to regrow a limb) and the Aeon's "reassurances" were not comforting at all, they couldn't really fight against it— it's not like it matters anyway, they'll be gone soon.
Small tidbit: I imagine that Yaoshi lets out chirps, hums, and small whines when talking to others. Idk why (maybe to relate them to nature and animals and thus life???) but I just do and I think it’s cute.
Now, I just wanna talk about the physical changes that'll happen as the Voice slowly gets "consumed by the Abundance": so before they met Yaoshi, the Voice had a mechanical body that distinctly looked like a ball-jointed doll (they specifically requested that when Nahida constructed their body, much to Wanderer's chagrin and slight fondness). However, after they met, their body slowly became more biological: not in a cyborg way, but in a weird, slightly morbid, nature-growing-out-of-a-rusty-stop-sign way.
The change was minuscule at first: skin started looking cracked (like the black lines on Yaoshi's body), they started having strands of blond hair, their expression turned softer (somehow), their movements became more fluid and whimsical. However, over time and more "deaths", major changes started to occur: branch-like antlers would start to grow along with a long scorpion tail, red eyes would open long the cracks when agitated— not so subtly showing how they were becoming one with Yaoshi.
Yaoshi: ...My dear emanator, what are you doing?
Voice: *angling a knife towards their antlers* Mister Sunfish said that my horns reminded me of Dan Feng and since I don't want to give him PTSD, I'm gonna cut them off. Now that you're here, wanna help me? We can reenact that one cursed Childe x Ganyu fanart—
Voice: now that I think about it, why do you look like the grass-type of a Vidyadhara? It's already weird enough how you're a strange combination of the Permanence and Propagation, but it makes me think that you're a secret love-child of— oh my god my Todoroki senses are tingling.
Yaoshi: ...Please banish whatever thought you have. (Sweetie I love your brain but please not like this)
The Voice eventually gives up on cutting their horns, if not for their Aeon’s insistent pleas for them to stop (oh wow that weird to hear, a divine being begging their follower (albeit reluctant) to stop… it’s almost invigorating OKAY LET’S STOP BEFORE I GET ON A POWER HIGH), then because WOW that hurts.
I would talk about how it would affect the Voice's personality but... tbh I don't think it'd change much lol. It's a bit weird to admit this but I... sorta have a mocking tone when regarding things? I also don't really care for things that don't benefit me— it's like a mixture of nihilism and cynicism, usually veiled by a goofy mood, but it's also what made the Voice and Yaoshi click so well in the first place. Idk at the very least the Voice’s movements might seem more whimsical or something.
Back on track, there are times where Yaoshi actually feels a bit conflicted towards the Voice— it's during those rare downtimes where the Voice doesn't have enough tasks to focus their mind on, and so their thoughts drift off. They're... unnerving, to say the least— stretched out, melancholic, and continuously gloomy to say more. And while it really shouldn't be a concern for the Aeon of the Abundance— it feels... off. Yaoshi doesn't exactly know the reason for their disdain of such dysthymia, or why they even bother to let it continue. After all, all the Voice has to do is combine with them and be released from their limited body for all the pain to disappear, right?
It's not when a certain event happens that Yaoshi truly understands how they feel about their emanator.
Heads up cuz 2nd trigger warning (and PLEASE take it seriously cuz it's gonna get graphic) for dissociation. And immense gore. Honestly just really bad shit.
So uh let's say that eventually, the Voice meets the other Abundance factions— I'm thinking the Elixir Seekers but the denizens of Abundance might also work— due to a mission or whatever. And since they know that the Voice is an Emanator of the Aeon they follow (I mean it would be weird if they didn't eventually know the person who miraculously grows back their body and have physical features of their Aeon), they welcome the Voice with open arms, celebrations grand.
Voice: Oh wow!
Voice: This is sus as hell!
"Hm?" Yaoshi hums in confusion, their divine voice resonating in their emanator's mind, "my lovely children have given you so many presents, so much luxury— how come my dear little Emanator isn't pleased?" (Well, they slightly understand for the completely wrong reasons: no amount of anything can satisfy the Abundance.)
Isn't it obvious? The Voice told the aeon mentally, refraining from rolling their eyes as they channeled their best Kabukimono impression. I've seen the shows, I've read stories— they'll treat me nicely and take advantage of me when my guard is down.
The Voice honestly tries their best to not succumb to those greedy people: they refrain from eating or drinking anything offered to them (claiming how a body blessed personally from Yaoshi does not need of it) (quarter truth: they didn't need nourishment when they were just a puppet, but when they became more biological, they began needing it— though, significantly less than the average human), they wear a face mask whenever they shower so that sleeping gas that might seep through the vents doesn't affect them much, and they stay up at night.
Now, for someone with a body like theirs, you'd think that would be enough. Unfortunately, and for reasons that will be revealed later, the Voice tends to sleep. A lot. Even more after becoming an emanator. Meaning that they are used to sleeping and will feel the affects of not sleeping. So after a week of resisting, the Voice finally loses against sleep deprivation.
Fourteen minutes and twenty-three seconds. That was how long it took for them to wake up—
That was enough time for the worst of their fears to happen.
They are on a hard surface. They are strapped tightly with binds. It's dark. A light is shone on them. Their head is fuzzy. They're naked. And there is a whole crowd of devoted Elixir Seekers before them, eagerly watching the trapped person with grins and unidentifiable chatter.
A loud ding, and the murmurs slowly ceased. "My, what a stubborn person you are. Well, I guess it only suits the dear Emanator of the Abundace." The Voice cranes their head, strained, to see the head of the group— the one who greeted them the warmest a greedy pig could be— holding a glass with a fork pressed against it. The leader looks down on them and flashes a dirty grin. "Look, we pumped them full of drugs and yet they persist awake— perhaps, you actually wish to partake in this activity, do you!"
The Voice narrows their eyes, internally trying to reach Yaoshi... whatever they were doing. They could feel the Aeon's gaze— so they are paying attention— but the Voice couldn't exactly tell what they were thinking, probably due to the drugs injected into their mechanical-biological body.
"But alas, onto the main event!" The leader disappears briefly before coming back, this time with a long knife, glinting in the light maliciously. The Voice's eyes widen, breath hitching.
Oh. Oh no. Fear strikes cold as they start thrashing helplessly against their binds, yet they had no ability to guard as the blade suddenly plunges into their bare chest. Even in their intoxicated mind, the Voice pulls the strength to rip out a choked, piercing scream from their throat, their legs kicking and jerking in all directions. It did not help, yet the thrashing only increased as the knife was slowly— agonizingly slow— dragged down through the old scar caved in by a certain blond and to their navel. Blood and guts gushed and stained the table like an omurice. "My friends— my brethren— let us feast upon this fruit of immortality!"
Yeah so uh we are going total AoT Ymir territory. (Look man there was like one other option but it isn't much of a difference and equally bad.) (also got inspired when I fucked up an omurice) (I blame it on the oil)
Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stopstopstoPSTOPMAKEITSTOP— They thrash, they yell, they claw, they writhe, they struggle— yet all efforts were null as the Elixir Seekers started stabbing into their skin— pulling, digging out her insides, spurting more blood. They couldn't even weakly conjure up their abyssal powers as they were continuously and throughly violated.
Yet it did not stop. It did not stop when she pleaded them to stop. It did not stop when they snap apart of her ribs. It did not stop when her appendix bursts. It did not stop when her innards regenerated again and again. It did not stop when the room only smelt like rotting flesh. Nothing. Stopped.
"Yaoshi, Yaoshi, Yaoshi, please—" The Voice begged through raspy iron-filled breaths, not giving a fuck if others could hear them. Please save me please stop make it stOp pleAsE plEASE—
"Why?"
...Huh? The Voice didn't know whether she was getting delirious from either the drugs or the constant feasting— or maybe both— but surely, surely they didn't just hear that.
"It should be an honor to bestow blessings onto those willing to shrug off the limitations called the mortal body," Came Yaoshi's silver, all too saccharine voice. "Yes, it is painful but it is also but a mere moment— the beauty that is immortality, the Abundance, will surely erode that suffering into specks of star dust."
The Voice could vaguely imagine the ghost of hands on her face, softly caressing her cheek— it would have been comforting if she was not being literally devoured alive. "Let yourself go, and let me take care of you."
(Light years away, Yaoshi was feeling quite unsettled in their own way, despite what their silky voice could portray. Not at the situation persay but at what the Voice was thinking— how they felt. Yes, it was for their very perspective on things that made the Aeon chose to indulge in them, but the deity couldn't quite understand their panic. Immortality is beautiful, isn't it? Giving is good, right? And no matter the situation, no matter the method— it will all be worth it, the Abundance will always be worth it. Why couldn't they just see that?
What perplexes them most is how Yaoshi almost wanted to heed their requests, how their anguished screams rang through their ears despite the cosmic distance, how their flawless chest clenched at the emanator's panic. It didn't make sense— they didn't understand just why the Voice couldn't see their way, and why exactly they disliked seeing them this way.)
Ah, Shinigami realized in freezing dread, Yaoshi will not save me.
Slowly, resignedly, her struggles subside, her limbs laying limp as her jaw goes slack. Her features relax, eyes dulling dark, darker yet darker— the loud festive chewing and munching and the squelching of guts becoming white noise. It'll be okay, she tells herself resignedly, if I stop thinking, if I stop feeling it, it won't hurt. It won't hurt at all.
It'll be okay.
You've done it many times, you can do it again.
Time will pass.
It won't matter in the end.
I won't remember.
I'll forget this, just like everything else.
The pain will go away.
It will be okay.
...It hu... r... ts....
(No. Something strikes at Yaoshi's core— something foreign. Something intangible. No, no, no, no, no! It feels dull, yet immensely heavy and full of darkness. What is this...?! The aeon claws at their chest and face and arms and sides, yet the sensation only persists, it even overflows. What is this cold, vile thing that I can't get rid of?!
And then they see their emanator: how limp their body is despite their insides endlessly ravaged, how their sore throat doesn't even let out a whimper now, how their eyes are even more of a void than ever before.
Ah. The Aeon of Abundance finally understands this sickening emotion.
This is emptiness.
How revolting.)
...Bro why the fuck am I doing this in a self-insert— am I a masochist or something? Or is it that not even I can escape the amusement of an author?
Well, I did say that Yaoshi and the Voice would have a toxic relationship. Honestly, as much as I want Yaoshi to be a sweet, loving, misunderstood god, I think we all know just how morally grey this deity is. For example, the Xianzhou were asking for immortality, but Yaoshi should have at least told them the aftereffects (tho I do think it's weird how the former doesn't want to take any blame or, hell, see nuance to the situation).
In any case, the reason why Yaoshi can feel empty despite being the literal embodiment of Abundance is cuz when the Voice is being slowly assimilated to Yaoshi, that means that all of their feelings, thoughts, and emotions are slowly meshing with theirs. That's how they have a mental link in the first place. (Yeahhhhh justifying OOC-ness by forcing humanity into Yaoshi is crazy bro frfr.) However, it's worth noting that a mental link does not equal Yaoshi having a place within Shinigami's mind space, hence why they never meet Dae. (That being said, Dae is definitely the reason why Yaoshi is in such emotional turmoil despite being just a deified personification of a concept: no one hurts his dear creator and gets away with it.
"Now, if only I wasn't fictional...."
Dae. Don't.
"Your wish is my command, my dear Creator! ...However, if I could—"
Dae!)
Ahem, so when Yaoshi finally get a taste of what the Voice was experiencing, they instantly open a rift under their body and take them out of there. For once, they don't care about their followers, they don't care if people perish or not— slaughtering the whole party— their dear emanator is hurt. Pulling them into the same space as them, Yaoshi cups them in their hands so carefully like any more force and the Voice would shatter.
...The Voice takes a long time to come back to.
"...Let me go— I still need to complete the mission."
When Yaoshi doesn't respond, the Voice sighs and stands up, their wounds fully closed and drugs mostly filtered out. Lifting a hand, an abyssal rift ripped open within the space, just large enough for their figure. "Fine, I'll do it myself," they say before entering the portal and leaving the deity's hands.
Small tangent but when I said “slaughtering the whole party,” I meant they manifested their actual body (well, mostly just their upper half) in that room. People lose their fucking minds just from a glance from an Aeon, so it’s safe to assume that regular people would just. Combust within a certain radius— the Voice relatively okay cuz of emanator (and protag—) magic. Also I don’t think this is Yaoshi straying from their path cuz the Abundance is all about healing and it’s stated that they can’t stand seeing the “pains of illness—“ it’s only now that they consider emptiness an “illness.” This also explains why they didn’t help the Voice when the latter was having a mental breakdown or just having negative emotions in general: negativity is still something that can be nurtured and grow, whereas emptiness is just that— nothing, finality. Makes you wonder how IX and Yaoshi would interact.
And so! After that incident, Yaoshi's treatment to the Voice changes drastically: if they weren't clingy before, then they're very clingy now. They always try to pamper the emanator and treat them like glass. They spew apologies and beg for forgiveness but honestly? It just makes the Voice feel worse.
"You're not sorry," Shinigami bluntly states one day, cutting the aeon's voice off. "You just don't like how my negative emotions affect you and want to get rid of it. Had our emotions not been linked, you would've allowed all that to continue." She laughs bitterly, "it's funny, I can barely understand my own feelings but yours are an open book— a very, very apathetic book."
Yet both know the solution to this predicament: all Yaoshi has to do is fully consume the Voice and then it would only be them, no more of that terrifying emptiness. However, by some odds (aka Protag magic), Yaoshi got really attached to the Voice in their own little twisted way, and now wants her as herself (well, without the emtpiness, they could do without that).
Yaoshi: I can fix them.
Voice: You can't, buuuuuuuut I can make you suffer instead.
So the whole assimilation thing is paused, only resuming whenever the Voice gets injured because Yaoshi is a greedy motherfucker and doesn't want them to die.
"Don't worry, I'll eventually forgive you— I have too or else I'll live miserably. Just... just give me time."
So, unfortunately, the Voice will eventually forgive Yaoshi for allowing that incident cuz, ya know, they're stuck with them and honestly they'd rather just be on somewhat good terms rather than a tense awkwardness— not to mention that they are sick of having regrets. The forgiveness also feels less warranted when Yaoshi starts punishing the Voice whenever they injure themselves now: flowers start growing out of their injures, causing the healing process to stall and become even more painful. And since I love FlowerFell, the Voice will have a white lily blooming out of their eye sockets whenever they are recovering from an injury (again, why I am doing this to myself).
I think the recovery period (if we can even call it that) will be very... monologue-y with worse spirals of depression. Not to mention how the Voice would probably not be able to stomach anything (which is pretty weird since I'm known as a glutton). Though, this might also lead to another bonding moment with Blade who understands what it's like to have their body constantly ripped to shreds. Maybe even with Kafka where she'll offer to make the Voice forget all of their pain (the latter refuses, because Shinigami believe that forgetting is her main cause of agony).
Blade: If it makes you feel better, I did not enjoy eating Abundance Emanator flesh.
Voice: ...No. It doesn't lmao. In fact it makes me pity you more.
Also Silver Wolf would probably try to play (more) video games with Shinigami as an awkward attempt as comfort and honestly that’s the sweetest shit ever.
Elio... probably knew what would happen to me, the Voice solemnly realized. They might not know my fate, but they can see others who have possibilities with interacting with me. I'll give the benefit of doubt that it was the only way to complete the mission since there's no good reason to intentionally hurt me, but if it wasn't... I don't even want to think about it.
We barely have any info about Elio so take this all with a grain of salt: as head honcho of the Stellaron Hunters, I think he’d be rather cold towards the Voice. Not entirely heartless, but as “Destiny’s Slave” and someone who has seen so many futures, I imagine that he’d have to make some pretty harsh decisions to get the most desired result— even if it means sacrificing one of his “pawns.” And again, Elio can’t see the Voice’s future, so maybe he’ll reason that he’s just getting rid of the wild card. And to the Voice, they’ll reason that the two have a pure coworker relationship… even if it hurts seeing the rest of the Stellaron Hunters act like a found family.
Ahem, adding to the new Yaoshi changes, it's bad when the Voice gets seriously maimed cuz now Yaoshi PERSONALLY intervenes. Like bro imagine that, in the main story, the Astral Express is working alongside the Voice— probably because of aligned goals (Dan Heng keeps quiet about the Voice’s emanator identity, just says that they’re a Stellaron Hunter)— when all of the sudden a group of enemies (let's say the Legion for this case) ambushes them. The gang takes it pretty badly, especially since they have to protect the Voice who got an arm sliced off during the surprise attack.
All the while the Voice is desperately begging their Aeon not to appear. "No, no, no, wait— please— stick to the script— I'm fine, I'll heal, you don't have to come out, you'll hurt them please, please don't—" and in their crazed panic, the cracks in their skin split open to reveal hundreds of haunting red eyes. "Yaoshi!!!"
And in that moment, a multitude of large arms and hands shoot out from thin air, immediately decimating anything and anyone in sight— all to protect their precious Emanator.
BOOM 5 STAR ABUNDANCE EMANATOR REVEAL. Thankfully, Welt was there and warned the rest of the Express Crew when he saw the Voice mumbling in a daze and felt their energies spike, so the gang's fine. Perhaps later they'll find the Voice after the skirmish and then that's when they'll reveal their situation. If this happened in the Xianzhou arc then the Voice might get arrested but like—
"I don't think you want to do that. After all, an entire battlefield got mauled by just a few arms— what makes you think you can handle the Abundance if they were to fully materialize here this very instant?"
Actually bluffing but also kinda not because Yaoshi might do that lol. Speaking of arcs, idk if the Voice would actually appear in the game story cuz they don’t seem… needed? Like in the prologue and Xianzhou arc (cuz Belobog didn’t have any Stellaron Hunters) the Voice would probably just lounge around. Again, I’m writing this before 2.0 comes out but I don’t think the Voice would join Sam to Penacony cuz the planet deals with dreams that possibly has something to do with Xipe and I don’t think anybody wants to know if you mesh that with an Emanator of another path. And there’s also uhhhhh Dae who would probably destroy the whole system if it touches the Voice’s mind.
“:D”
Okay, okay, we get it— you’re overprotective and it’s entirely my fault for making you that way, love you! It’s such a shame too because OH MY GOD SUNDAY??? MISTER SUNDAY HE’S SO PRETTY AND PROBABLY MANIPULATIVE AS FUCK BUT HAHA RED’S MY FAVORITE COLOR (it’s actually pink but ehhhh it’s a shade of red it’s close enough). (Also I think HSR awoke something in me cuz I did not have a thing with religious people before this 💀)
Also, while I won’t explicitly talk about the HSR events (I actually don’t really like the HSR events in general), I will say that the Voice would definitely sneak into the Herta Space Station to try to steal the little Critter Cakes!
Blade: what the fuck is in your hands.
Voice, arms full of Critter Cakes: our babies.
The Blade one is actually my favorite one it’s so cute!!! (I say as I stare right at the void.)
Greyish-blue eyes stare at dark, empty eyes.
Dark, empty eyes stare back.
They continue staring.
A certain duo of pink and grey hair peeks out of a wall behind the boy in the corner of the emanator’s gaze. They fidget from where they stand: “Are… are you gonna say something? Or at least do something about your friends over there?”
Dan Heng snaps out of his train of thought, his short hair swaying as he shook his head, “sorry about them— they tend to be nosy about anybody’s business.” His words were apologetic and slightly chastising, yet there was an obvious fondness underlying his tone.
How sweet. The Voice lets out a laugh, “understandable, my coworkers are the same.” They fiddle with their sleeves, glancing away timidly, “um, so I might be reaching a bit but, you want to apologize to me, right?”
The boy flinches— bingo— but quickly recomposes himself, gaze narrowed with the small press of his lips. “That obvious, huh?”
”Yup. We haven’t really interacted until now besides that time where I got stabbed by that grumpy old man.”
”’Grumpy old man’ would be an understatement…” Dan Heng mumbles under his breath before tilting his head downwards slightly, “but I still feel guilty for putting you into… that situation.”
The Voice let out a hum, “eh, it’s fine— I know that you didn’t mean to put me into harm’s way, you just didn’t think that Ren was crazy enough to just not care.” There was a pang of discomfort when they spoke that, yet quickly dismissed it: we made up already, no need to think about it. “But if you still feel bad about it, I’ll forgive you on one condition.”
The express crew member gulped in anticipation, staring nervously as the emanator walked up to him, pulled him down by his jacket and— “please, please, please don’t mention my babyass wailing oh my god that was embarrassing!!!” The Voice urgently whispered, a frantic, flushed expression laced onto their face.
…When March and the Trailblazer crowded around him later on, bugging him for any juicy gossip, the Vidyadhara had to stifle a snort.
Idk where else to mention but the Voice does meet the Trailblazer before the main story starts, though idk what to write about since there isn’t much info about the time they were with Kafka so eh. Just writing it here.
So yeah, all in all, the Voice has really rough time post!traumatic experience cuz they have to deal with both their trauma and Yaoshi's antics. What's even worse is that the Voice is getting dementia too lmao.
They've been getting sleepier, they can't focus half of the time, they've started having gaps within their recent memories, and worst of all— sometimes they'd get temporarily paralyzed and clatter to the ground like the puppet they are. It's... scary, but when they do a check-up (well, try to, it's hard to get a diagnosis with their body), nothing unusual comes up.
Eventually, the Voice comes to a conclusion: "My soul... is finally running out, huh?"
Okay okay so this will delve a little into beliefs/theories about death— however you don't have to take this as fact but just a little plot device for this little brainrot, okay? Ok— so, I imagine the soul and body to be loosely connected but ultimately two separate things. Adding on to this, the soul has a separate, longer life span than the body— meaning that if the body were to perish naturally, the soul would've still been intact and okay if the body had a longer life-span or if, ya know, the soul was quickly shoved into a different yet living body.
However, in the end, the soul still has its limits.
So, in the Voice's case, it's the opposite: their soul has lived so long that it's fucking dying within the immortal body lmaooooooooooo. I mean technically they've lived for over 300 years— the soul usually doesn't live that long. Like the only reason why they haven't perished is cuz they slept a lot, even when in Scaramouche's mind (it like preserves the life energy or something). I guess it's sorta like the Mara effect but instead of going insane it's just a long-due old age.
And Yaoshi's freaking the fuck out. Like what do you mean my emanator is dying I am LITERALLY THE AEON OF ABUNDANCE???
Voice's dying soul: nuh uh
Yaoshi: THE FUCK YOU MEAN "NUH UH?!"
Cue to Yaoshi sweetly berating the Voice like the toxic god they are as they try to hide their anxiousness (they miserably fail).
"Haha, as the Abundance, you can only work with tangible things! If you really wanted to prolong my soul, you should've been the Aeon of Life or something, lol." Oof, not even Aeons can escape the angst.
Wahoo retirement arc! But not really lol. Cuz with their contract with Elio, they still have to work with the Stellaron Hunters, but now (and this development might happen in either the middle or near end game idk what will happen in HSR) their work is minimal and they mostly work as an Uber. Honestly, it's sorta nice and it lets them gather their thoughts.
"Hey, Ren," The old man makes no physical shift, but allows a gruff yet quiet sound of acknowledgement. The flowery girl sitting near him sighs softly, fingers thumbing the hem of her fuzzy, vibrant red robe, "I want to make a ridiculous request, hear me out for a bit?"
"...Spit it out."
Shinigami laughed, yet it was a bit too lackluster to consider it genuine. The ends of her lips quirked up slightly as she glanced off into the distance, all the lights and shadows blurred within her gaze. "Please try your best to end in peace," she bluntly said.
The taller Stellaron Hunter whipped his head towards the petite girl, his dark bangs swishing slightly against the wind yet doing nothing to hide his perplexed scowl. "I know, I know," the emanator of the Abundance nonchalantly let out before he could even retort, craning her head up to the sky shortly before hanging it low, her long black hair following her every movement. "You'd just be satisfied with death itself. However," she raised her hand, cracked and fragmented— the scars were like the golden solder within Blade's sword, yet both knew that it only meant her end was nigh, "unlike me, there's a chance you won't die as an abomination— if you play your cards right, you'll get to die as a human."
The emanator— the one who was once physically human, now a twisted mesh of biological and mechanical parts— glanced over her shoulder to finally look at her companion. Blade's eyes only narrowed in both disdain and pity (pity? What for? For the fact that she does not truly want to die, or for the fact that she already deemed herself an abomination?) as only one dull eye stared back, accompanied with a taunting white lily substituting the other eye. Her eye crinkled with faux mirth, "wouldn't you agree that that's the best kind of ending, hm, Ren?"
...Yaoshi had no words for comfort as they watched their precious emanator silently.
SORRY SORRY I didn't mean for it to suddenly get so serious I just really wanted to emulate that one Dokja and Junghyuk scene in ORV cuz Blade soooooooorta reminds me of Junghyuk (Voice cried one time when they were playing with Blade's hair and accidentally pushed his long hair out of sight which then jumpscared them with a sudden Joonghyuk cameo. They wailed and called him a Sunfish as punishment, much to Balde (I'm keeping that typo) utter confusion with the new nickname). Also, I should’ve mentioned this earlier but the reason why Voice— the character, not the narration— calls Blade "Ren" (his name in OG Chinese text) is because before HSR came out, I already knew a character called Blade who practically has the exact opposite personality as HSR Blade and therefore Voice probably cannot take the latter seriously if they call him by Blade LMAO.
"Hey, Yaoshi? When I die, I hope you make my corpse the fairest of all. Well, second-fairest."
Yaoshi's smile is strained, yet their hold on their Emanator is as gentle as ever, "my dear, there will be no death— I shall find a way to release your soul from its shackles as well."
Despite the deity's silky smooth words, both knew that was impossible. What shackles? The soul is the epitome of intangible. Only a being such as maybe Terminus had the ability to interfere upon the soul. Shinigami sighed, leaning against the Aeon's large fingers as she idly weaved flowers from her own body. "You know, it's funny— you'd think that on someone's death bed, you'd want your loved ones to be happy, to move on from your death."
"However, I used to want people to either suffer for all eternity, or have them utterly detest me— isn't that weird? I wanted to be loved so much to the point that people would never move on from my death. And if not that, then I'd rather they didn't care at all." She tilted her head with a fond smile, "fortunately for me, I got the former— I bet Lune is forever tormented now, being his fourth betrayal and all."
She laughs, yet there is no true amusement in her words as Shinigami then huffed, staring absentmindedly at the flower crown she made. "But ever since I woke up in your hold, unable to die, I started to wonder: did I really have to leave that world like that? Did that beautifully crying face have to be the last I see of him? And that's not even counting the guilt of Aether, who I forced to kill me. And Nahida for giving me the chance to be killed, and Lumine and even Paimon... and... and even..." Shinigami paused as if the words she wanted to say were foreign to her tongue. "My own family...."
Suddenly, her head hung low, dropping her long forgotten flower crown into the astral sphere. "It's been so long, are my family alive? I know I wasn't a good daughter or sister but— but do they remember me— do I even remember them? I don't— I don't even remember how they sound like, how they look, what their names even are— what was even the last time I saw them???"
As she speaks, her voice wavers until it completely breaks, heavy and full of centuries of loneliness. And then—
"I— I don't want to die...."
AND THEN I DIE ANYWAY CUZ HAHA FUCK YOU YAOSHI (and cuz I like FlowerFell) (dw baby you're still my fav). Honestly, I'd probably make the Voice die peacefully (as peacefully as one can be when in the hands of the Aeon that tormented them) cuz they already got a brutal end in Genshin and also to tie back to the scene between the Voice and Blade about dying as a human or as an abomination— what do you think she died as?
I guess the epilogue would be focusing on Blade since besides Yaoshi, he was closest to the Voice. Maybe he'd be in the Voice's room, reminiscing and shit, when he stumbles a notebook. Opening it, it reveals notes of thoughts and doodles ranging from simple inquiries, strong emotions, and even wishes (no this ain't no plot device I actually do write down my random thoughts often). Eventually, he comes across a page as to how the Voice would think their purgatory, if that even exists, would be like: a fancy tea party filled with friends and family, yet no one caring about her or acknowledging her existence, the treats and tea bland to her lips and the bright colors awfully taunting. A beautiful, joyous day to everyone else but her.
Blade doesn't know why, but he brings this up to the other Stellaron Hunters (out of a sort of kinship or out of obligation, who knows?) and sooner or later, they host a tea party in her name. The sight is, honestly, dreary— the sky grey and clouded, the decorations dull and basic, there are barely any people— but everyone attending are all thinking of Shinigami as they indulge in the all-too-sugary sweets and tea, just like how she'd like it. It's not the perfect, typical tea party one might expect— but perhaps it's that very reason that the team believes that she'd enjoy it.
All of the sudden, Blade feels something wet on his face. He reaches up tentatively, only to realize that it's tears. It's bizarre, Blade thought he had lost the ability to shed tears long ago, nor did he really feel the emotional weight to do so.
Cosmos away, those under the curse of the Abundance— even the long-life mortals of the Xianzhou— are also crying. They can't even fathom an answer as to why. Yet, interestingly enough, it was found out later on that on that very day, the Aeon Yaoshi was seen with an almost mournful expression and watery eyes— as if they were feeling an immense, excruciating pain. But no— the two events surely can't be related—
Because Aeons do not cry.
...Unless there's some lore that says that they do. Oh well idc CUZ THIS IS JUST A BRAINROT HAHA
Bro this was not meant to be so long 💀 I blame it all on the mini excerpts but like I guess this is a good thing cuz then I can just go straight to the juicy parts without having to suffer through the middle plot points. Though, I can't even begin imagine the word count when I delve into the ACTUAL Voice-in-Scaramouche's-head brainrot *shudders*.
Off topic but I have a creative writing final project where the max word count is 750 and bro if a BRAINROT is this long then how the hell am I supposed to contain my writing to that length? I'm royally screwed 💀
Uhhhh now that I'm here I don't know how to end this— you'd think that by so many chapters I'd know how to do that. Um I know this chapter went all over the place but heehee I'm not gonna edit it I like the chaotic mess :) also because I'm lazy. Also I might do a sequel chapter or add more to this one when more info about the Abundance and Yaoshi comes out but that's probably not gonna happen in a while.
Also also side note about the ending: in the end, Yaoshi doesn't absorb the Voice fully or takeover their body because if they did, there wouldn't really be... much of the Voice anymore. So they end up just treasuring their empty body and creating an entire paradise for their resting place. If, in the game's main story, Lan does successfully hunt Yaoshi down, that very paradise would be the last place they stop at, their form curling around their precious emanator's vessel as they smile with their eyes closed. It's a rather strange sight despite the familiarity— it's as if, for once, the Aeon is fully content as they lay there, drawing their last breath.
Ahhhhh I guess I'll see you in the next chapter— most likely about the prequel of all this. Bye bye.
Waddup it's ya boy uh skinny penis.
Man, to think I was intimidated with the 8K in this fic… not knowing the absolute monster of a word count I’d make on the actual Scara fic 💀
HAHA SORRY THAT THIS TOOK SO LONG. I uh could’ve just posted this but then I read it and… I didn’t really like it lmao. Like it’s not badddddddd sorta but it wasn’t on par with the previous chapter (Author why the fuck are you talking about quality if this is barely a fic— SHUT THE FUCK UP I HAVE STANDARDS OKAY??? Ok wait I realize that I sound rude to my readers— I’m not actually talking to you but I like pretending that I’m having a conversation. I’d never yell at you like that, love you!). There’s also, as I presumed, some inconsistencies the past chapter created so I figured that I might as well clean it up a bit. Also I barely know any Honkai lore (both Impact (done up to Part One but have not indulged in any of the supplementary material) and Star Rail) so sorry if there’s any obvious plot holes!!!
Also, since this took longer than I thought to post this, I figured I’d take even longer and draw a little illustration to come along with!!! (Didn’t you literally have a Blue Period moment last chapter wtf are you doing— I’m an over achiever!!! What do I achieve? Idk you tell me.) (AO3 readers I am so sorry, I can't for the life of me figure out how to put images :( here just go to my Instagram xxeatingpotatoesxx to see it it's a drawing of two girls with red robes.) The drawing entails what the Voice/Shinigami would look like: it’s not entirely accurate to the real counterpart (my hair’s not that long anymore and my robe’s a tad shorter) but it’s how I imagine myself— well, the left version, that is. The left version, if it’s not obvious, is the “Genshin”/OG Shinigami and the outfit is based off of an outfit I wear irl! (And no, I don’t actually wear that robe in public I’m not that shameless, this is just for the character.) The right version is HSR!Shinigami, fully immersed in the influence of the Abundance— this outfit was picked out by Kafka since Shinigami’s old clothes were probably torn apart from her previous battle.
Small tangent, I used different colors for the overlay for the different versions and WOW does the cooler tones make HSR!Shinigami look ghastly (ironically enough since she’s supposed to be the literal apostle of life lmao). Also, I might change the cover art soon considering that it was just a placeholder (cuz Kabukimono was the only version that wasn’t in this fic) so this is just a heads up for that!
Ok I’m just gonna ramble about this fic now and it’ll be all jumbled up so sorry about that!
Ahem, so you know how the narration mostly referred to the self-insert as “this Voice” even though at this point in time, her name has been revealed as “Shinigami?” Well, there’s actually not a huge reason… I was just embarrassed of admitting to making a self-insert when I was first writing this lol! However, as you can tell, I’ve fully abandoned what little dignity I had by the time I posted the first chapter! That being said, I was way too lazy to change the name so I just used my username whenever it was an emotional scene— hehe, kinda ruins the whole theme of names I improvised last chapter. I know this isn’t a huge thing in the grand scheme of things (like all the other stuff I’ll talk about) but I like to be thorough with my works.
Moving onto the actual fic contents, you know how when Nahida offered Shinigami a vessel, the latter initially refused? And how her reason was like taking away her option to live and how if anyone had a choice, they would want to live? Haha, it sounded all deep and profound… until you realize that Blade would genuinely choose to die rather than to live. Admittedly, I didn’t think of him at all when I wrote that, but I think iwhat I wrote still stands: you see, while I’m pretty certain that Blade will die in the end (because with all that yapping I’d be genuinely surprised if he didn’t die), it’s the way he dies that is important. There’s two ways I can think of his death— the first one where he dies with no regrets, everyone is happy, whereas the second one, the one I’m personally banking on, is him dying right when he starts wanting to live.
…Author, what the fuck— AHAHAHAHAHA I LOVE ANGST YOU SHOULD’VE KNOWN THIS BY NOW. Also my favorite anime is Madoka Magica and my favorite manga is Pandora Hearts so uh. Idk why you’re surprised. ALSO I LITERALLY KILLED MYSELF IN FICTION. TWICE. NO ONE IS SPARED.
Speaking of my second death, I realize that it’s weird how Shinigami’s soul starts dying off after ~300 years even though Blade is also human, ~700-800 years old, and still kicking but then it sort of makes sense??? Cuz Blade is barely a shadow of his old self and is running on pure vengeance— Shinigami on the other hand doesn’t really have any aspirations and her personality is mainly intact. I guess the more you retain your “self,” the more your soul is ready to leave.
Also it kinda sucks that this part of the fic has so little substance??? I mean, it’s understandable considering that compared to Genshin, HSR has little content and I have been brainrotting about the Scara fic for much longer, but it sucks how it has less scenes and more… head canons? Like implied stuff rather than explicitly showing the information. Sigh… Yaoshi why did you have such little content in general???
Speaking of Yaoshi, I’m still kinda iffy about my characterization of them. They seem a bit… too emotional? I mean, they are definitely more expressive than IX, Nanook, Qilopoth, but I imagine them as a benevolent yet apathetic ruler. Sort of like Hungry Ghost from SSS-Class Revival Hunter (I’m actually reading the manhwa right now lmao go read it it’s good)! But I guess I have the convenient excuse of Shinigami and Yaoshi’s emotions meshing together.
And regarding Shinigami herself, it’s a bit jarring to have one scene of her absolutely balling her eyes out (purposely but still) and then another where she becomes an empty shell. Well, I guess that’s just two extreme sides of me? The latter is basically what I did at my worst times and the former is actually something that hasn’t happened yet but I imagine that’s how it would go. It might feel a bit off compared to the prequel but mind you, before, Shinigami was more in the sidelines of the plot that was relatively peaceful. Here, she is in constant danger due to missions— it makes sense that she’d be more reactive.
That being said, I’d try to make those scenes meaningful but… I don’t think there’s an actual message in this fic 💀. Like it’s okay that there isn’t any considering that this isn’t a proper fic and the last chapter got one by accident, but still. Even stupid, useless people wanna feel like geniuses at times. A master-poet in this case.
Tbh, I didn’t intend to have so many Blade moments? But then again, while he isn’t my favorite HSR character, he is the one I read the most HSR fanfics for (again, why does Yaoshi have so little content I feel like Welt x Void Archives has more content than them sadge). Idk I also think my adoration with him is weird cuz while I do like edgy characters, I’m surprised to like such a grandpa so much— even weirder when you consider that I like Yingxing a little bit more. Idk maybe my tastes are maturing? (My love for Wanderer is eternal tho.)
And I’ll be honest, I really wanted to write a scene of Shinigami going ape shit and obliterating everything with her abyssal abundance powers (cuz, ya know, with little concept of death applied to you, you’d probably get a little reckless and fucking YOLO everything). Tbh I do think HSR!Shinigami is powerful as fuck considering that Yaoshi is personally and actively fueling her abundance abilities combined with her abyssal powers that are corrosive in nature but like… she just doesn’t feel the need to use it. Or is just terrified of consequences. And while her going apeshit would probably be hella fun to write/read and also destroy a planet, I just didn’t really know how to write it, settings and buildup and all. It also felt too much like an emanator of Elation thing lmao (that being said you can easily relate one Aeon to another— in fact there’s an ao3 fic that does exactly that).
AND TOTALLY NOT AWKWARD SEGWAY TO STUFF I WANTED TO TALK ABOUT LAST TIME BUT EITHER FORGOT OR JUST DIDN’T HAVE A PLACE TO PUT IT.
Bro Dae wasn’t supposed to be here. “Creator, wha—“ LEGIT HE WAS SUCH A LAST MINUTE ADDITION CUZ I KNEW THAT LUNE AND LUMINE HAD TO GET RID OF THE ABYSS HYPNOSIS SOMEHOW AND THEN CAME THE IDEA OF REVERSING THE VOICE IN HEAD PREMISE BUT THEN I REALIZED THAT I KINDA ALREADY HAD A HEADSPACE (surprisingly made before Omori came out so I am! Totally original! /j) THAT DAE RESIDES SO UHHHHH YA. That’s also why there’s absolutely no mention of him in this part besides like two side comments.
Also, the reason why Shinigami doesn’t “meet” Dae until she’s about to die is cuz he doesn’t want her head to explode lol. As in, I can only see Dae as a fictional thing that I created, which means that if I ever meet Dae other than daydreaming or like some near-death illusion, then I’m probably going to assume that everything isn’t real and go into some existential crisis— it would literally invalidate whatever character development I had going on.
I also think it’s funny that when Shinigami says that she’s no longer an outsider to the “story,” she’s unironically fully accepting her place within Teyvat as reality.
Speaking of last minute additions, this isn’t actually a last minute addition but the way Lune was supposed to “save” Shinigami wasn’t supposed to go the way it did. Like instead of simply watching all her experiences, he would’ve physically been in a high school memory, watching in real time her losing faith in others, so close yet so far to do anything about it. But I decided not to because, admittedly, I don’t remember much pre-COVID LMAOOOOOO. Like I remember the vibes and angsty shit but legit most of my hobbies and personality is based off of quarantine-me (Before I was into… Bungou Stray Dogs? Toilet Bound Hanako-kun? I can’t even say I was into Twisted Wonderland at the time cuz while I knew of it ever since it was first announced as a concept, I wasn’t too into it until like Summer 2020). Also, I was lazy and tired of writing at that point.
Everything after that was different from the initial concept as well! Especially the vision: while I wasn’t sure whether Shinigami would actually get a vision, I figured for the longest time that it would be Cryo if she ever did get one. Not only was it the result I got most often when taking “what vision would you get?” quizzes, Cryo users are usually at conflict with themselves (ex: Kaeya with his stance between Mondstadt and Khaenriah; Ayaka with her desires as a girl and duties as a Kamisato) which would reflect on Shinigami and her stance over where she belonged. However, I realized that visions usually form with the current ambition the person has at the time, and her desire to create a world where Wanderer is happy was stronger than whatever baggage she had.
The other part that was changed was that the Aether vs Shinigami fight was supposed to more explicit, more action-y. Shinigami was also supposed to use her vision (in concept this would be cryo) to create manifestations of my original characters and have them fight Aether before facing him head on, but I figured that would be too difficult for someone who just got a vision, so I just limited to electro covering her body. Also, again, I was tired. (Countless hours of writing until 4am daily does that to you.)
Speaking of the Abyss!Twin, how different would the dynamic be if Lumine was the Abyss!Twin? Would she be the same amount of uhhh infatuated (feels weird using that word when referring to me but I don’t really have any other better word in mind) with Shinigami as Aether? I know the twins are pretty much interchangeable but I headcanon Aether as a morally grey golden retriever and Lumine as an aloof yet well-intentioned cat.
Also about the twins, I wanna rant a bit— the 4.4 trailer recently dropped and once again I feel like the fandom doesn’t have brains 💀 I don’t mean to be rude but when it shows the twins together, the Traveler states “I always believed we would see each other again, that our days of separation would finally end.” The wording implies that they are speaking of hypotheticals, meaning that the scene we see is not real!!! I get getting shocked at the bizarre scene but I feel like the fandom just looks and doesn’t even listen or use context clues. It’s like the time where people thought Kazuha was gonna die by Raiden Shogun’s hand just cuz of the image of him fending against the Musou no Hitotachi. Idk am I being too mean? I just feel like if such scenes are shown, the obvious thing to think is that they are bait.
I actually find it funny that the main “love interests” in this fic have the same CN voice actor (鹿喑kana). That wasn’t intentional, heck I play in JP most of the time, but I thought that was worth mentioning.
Also I forgot to mention the music that would play during my Genshin death scene! Author why the fuck did you even bother thinking of that— SHUDDUP I WANNA GET THE HONKAI IMPACT TREATMENT I WANNA HAVE EMOTIONAL MUSIC PLAYING AS I GO “kore wa ban da” AND THEN FINAL LESSON ALL OVER THE PLACE (something I actually imagine to happen to Kafka oop—). That being said, I was actually having a hard time of picking a song cuz surprisingly I don’t immediately get character/plot ideas whenever I listen to songs. At first I was thinking of “Samsa” by Teniwoha or “Shelter” by Porter Robinson (the latter’s actually pretty special to me) but they didn’t really fit what I was going with Shinigami’s characterization. I then considered “Cinema” by Ayase cuz of the themes of characters and the stories not ending just yet, but I decided that it just didn’t fit the somber mood: that song’s rather uplifting whereas the scene itself is supposed to be about one’s last moments (well, before Yaoshi came along and said NOPE).
And then it hit me: “To My Dearest” from Zombieland Saga. Ohhhh my god the song choice was perfect, from the message down to the very song arrangement! Also, while I’m here, GO WATCH ZOMBIELAND SAGA PLEASE IT’S SO GOOD IT’S ACTUALLY MY FAVORITE ANIME ANIMATED BY MAPPA (I am not joking) SO PLEASEEEEEEE.
Tbh I’m kinda not satisfied with how I characterized myself in the second half— not to say anything I wrote was bad, but I feel like I didn’t write enough about myself. I’m not trying to dox myself or anything but I feel like Shinigami came out as some poor maiden,,, Idk it just felt like two extremes: wacky ass brat and then just. Depressed.
I know that this is a Scara-centered fanfic (well the past chapter), but it’s weird how little Scara content there is in the 2nd half of the brain dump :( idk I guess I just assumed that Lune and Shinigami would just have a domestic life and so just focused on funny interactions lolol… wait isn’t Lune and Shinigami just Alhaitham and Kaveh if they had good communication—
ANYWAY! Some domestic details! I sleep at around 3am (sue me) and wake up whenever someone/something decides to be loud, and would probably spend the first few hours eating and doing work (chores and assigned reading). I assume Lune would be busy attending lectures or running errands for Nahida until the afternoon, so the two usually start hanging out from afternoon to the dead of night, whether it that be shopping, eating together, or keeping each other company whilst doing silent activities. Also, while probably not important in the grand scheme of things, the reason why the two eat— or specifically why Lune cooks— everyday is simply because I like eating! And cuz social interaction is terrifying,,, it’s fine because Shinigami will wash the dishes after!
Also, I know I published this “book” on our birthday on purpose, but that meant missing out on not mentioning Wanderer’s letter like WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE IS THE HEARTTHROB OF THE AKADEMIYA AND HAS FANS??? I mean it perfectly makes sense considering that he canonically has a beautiful face and is the perfect “handsome loner” trope BUT STILL ITS SO WEIRD HOW SURPRISING IT IS. Despite Lune’s slight disdain, Shinigami fully approves. Hell, she would’ve probably started a fan club but,, social interactions,,,
Tbh I don’t think those fans would know of Shinigami’s interactions cuz she’s not with him when he’s at the Akademiya half of the time (she’s usually only goes to visit Nahida) and I don’t think they’d go out of their way to stalk Lune after school hours (birthday is an exception cuz they wanted to deliver his bday present). But I imagine that if they did see Shinigami with him, they’d make up absurd ideas but nonetheless aren’t hostile. Yaaaa no toxic fan interactions here! Yay!
Shinigami has the habit of breathing— tis the thing that stuck since she originally has a human body. Lune, while would never admit this, is sorta thankful for this: he doesn’t have to get any distressing thoughts at the sight of her unconscious body if he just notices the heavy rising of her chest.
I wish I had more ideas for the Kaveh side-plot 😔 cuz I think it’s fucking hilarious and I really do like Kaveh! Well, technically I have one idea but I’m pretty lazy so uhhhhh maybe not. Also I feel like it’d be too soon to write that one at the moment. Also, it would be nice to interact with Alhaitham too.
Shinigami: can I touch your boobs?
Alhaitham: no.
Shinigami: can you touch them for me?
Alhaitham: no.
Kaveh: …what the fuck is wrong with you?
Shinigami: well, I’ve always wanted to know what big boobs feel like— I like to think that they’re fluffy like soft bread, but they might also be squishy like slime.
Kaveh: …what has my life come to.
ALSO I WISH I WROTE ABOUT MORE CHARACTERS!!! Specifically Collei, Kazuha, Faruzan, and Kaeya. ESPECIALLY KAEYA OHHHHHHHH MY GOD BRO WAS LITERALLY MAIN FOR YEARS UNTIL WANDERER CAME ALONG. Kazuha as well but Kaeya has a special place in my heart. Unfortunately, I don’t have any content with Kaeya but uh just know that I love him very much ^^
The rest will be very barebones headcanons of relationships: I think Collei and Shinigami would become light novel besties since the two love them (well me moreso manga but I don’t think manga exists in Genshin,,,).
I’ve always wanted for Shinigami to treat Faruzan as a grandma— the latter feeling a sense of pride like the good grandma she is— only for Lune to sneer at how Shinigami is in fact much older than her. It’s the mentality!!!
Kazuha! …Honestly, I don’t have any concrete ideas but I imagine that Shinigami would feel some guilt towards Kazuha due to how she was sort of involved with the Raiden Gokuden’s extermination. Now obviously Kazuha’s family survived and she knows that he is content with his life, but she still feels bad. Kazuha, like the absolute GOAT that he is, would probably reassure her that it’s fine. He might also mention that Shinigami also smells like stars, though not as much as the Traveler.
Also, if I wanted to do KazuScara, Shinigami is definitely gonna try to be like “that overprotective obstacle from true love!”
Kazuha:
Shinigami, staring down at Kazuha with Lune by her side: what makes you think that you’re— that you’re—
Shinigami:
Shinigami: this isn’t working, Lune go switch with him.
Lune: ? *he does so anyway*
Shinigami: alright
Shinigami: so Lune, what makes you think that you’re good enough for my cute Kazuha—
Lune: wait why are you asking me?!
Shinigami: WELL NO SHIT KAZUHA’S A GOOD PERSON IT’S YOU I’M CONCERNED ABOUT
Lune: FUCK YOU
Shinigami: FUCK YOU TOO
Kazuha: 🙂
And… huh. That’s it. HONKAI STAR RAIL 2.0 TRAILER AM I RIGHT??? WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FUCKING MMD LOOKING ASS DANCE I SERIOUSLY THOUGHT IT WAS FANMADE LMAOOOOOO. Also I've been looping White Night ever since I’ve first heard it it’s not even funny I am injecting this shit into my veins 💀. I’m really looking forward to Penacony— if the story’s not amazing, hopefully it’ll still be fun! As for this, I guess I’m done? If I have more that I wanna add, then I’ll add more but for now this is it.
Thank you so much for reading! Oh god this is 16k+ how the fuck did we double the OG word count—