Chapter Text
What up hoes!
[Aether has made a group chat]
[Aether added 13 members]
[Aether changed 12 nicknames]
Child: Aether…
Child: what the FUCK is this?
Goldilocks: a groupchat ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡
Goldilocks: bc we’re all in the same school but never actually got together so I thought it would be a good idea to bond!
Child: I-
Child: okay sure
HornyMagitian: WTF IS MY USER U DISLEXIC ASS
HornyMagitian: THAT’S NOT HOW U SPELL MAGICIAN
Goldilocks: oops ♡(˃͈ ˂͈ )
[Emoguy left the chat]
[Goldilocks added Emoguy]
Child: lmao scara
Emoguy: fuck you
Meditation: let’s not be mean!
Meditation: I thing a gc is a wonderful idea for strengthening our group and relationships with each other!
Goldilocks: Kazuha, I love you ♡
Emoguy: back off my man
Goldilocks: platonically!
Goldilocks: I wouldn’t do anything to break up a relationship
Child: you would
Twink: you would
Bitchface: no, he wouldn’t, be realistic
Birdie: I don’t think he would
Goldilocks: omg xiao hi!! ଘ(੭˃ᴗ˂)੭
Birdie: hello Aether
HornyMagitian: bro ur down so bad
Nerd: ur worse than yun was before we got together
Icicle: no!
Icicle: you didn’t even notice so it wasn’t that bad!
Nerd: uhu
Birdie: um…
Goldilocks: don’t listen to them Xiao! Theyre just assholes
Birdie: okay?
Mona: *puking sounds*
Mona: I hate gays
Detective: woop woop homophobe spotted!
Bitchface: archons
Emoguy: right
Goldilocks: Mona I hate you sm jfkfhwefwkf
Goldilocks: go choke on the gayest dick possible 😇
Mona: …
Mona: …
Mona: okay anyways
Mona: who got calculus homework?
Goldilocks: we’re gonna move on JUST LIKE THAT?
Goldilocks: I’m hurt
Emoguy: good
HopelesRomantic: I don’t but Haitham probably does
Mona: my lord and saviour can u pls ask him to send it *flutters eyelashes*
HopelesRomantic: Ofc! Gimme a sec
Nerd: can we add some of the ppl from our class?
Nerd: since its bonding and all
Goldilocks: sure as long as they’re not mean
Child: Scara’s mean
Goldilocks: that’s an exception
Mona: he threatened to kill Paimon
Goldilocks: MONA
Mona: what it’s true
Nerd: um
Nerd: so anyways
[Nerd added 2 members]
[Nerd changed 2 nicknames]
Nerd: guys this is Gaming and Xiangling!
Dragonhead: Hello!
SpicyChickenLegs: Hiii!
Meditation: welcome to the groupchat!
Dragonhead: thanksss!!
SpicyChickenLegs: thx too
SpicyChickenLegs: y tf am I spicy chicken legs qiu?
Nerd: …
Nerd: I choose to not answer this
Twink: Wait!
Twink: so if they can add ppl I wanna add Zhongli too!
Goldilocks: Sure!
[Twink added 1 member]
[Twink changed one nickname]
Dilf: Venti why…
Twink: ehe
Mona: ew gays
Nerd: wait is that Zhongli? the teacher Zhongli?
Twink: how many Zhonglis do u know?
Dilf: Venti be nice
Twink: sorry
Mona: ewwwww *puking sounds*
Twink: …
Twink: yes the teacher Zhongli why?
Nerd: he’s a teacher…
Twink: yes?
Nerd: isn’t he like… older than us?
Icicle: way older
Twink: actually no!
Dilf: I’m 26
Twink: see!
Child: ur a junior
Twink: I’m 19 tho
Nerd: how the fuck?
Emoguy: he went to school one year later and failed music theory in freshman
Twink: HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW THAT
Emoguy: ik where you live bitch
Goldilocks: somehow, I don’t doubt that…
Emoguy: good
Twink: anyways
Goldilocks: anyone wanna add anyone else?
HornyMagitian: actually, Fremi might benefit from this
Mona: who?
Child: second that
Nerd: third that
Bitchface: our younger brother
Bitchface: Freminet, he transferred from a different school this year and he’s shy
HornyMagitian: Yeah. So getting him here will be good for him!
[Bitchface added 1 member]
[HornyMagitian changed 1 nickname]
HornyMagitian: Hello brother!
Pingu: …
Pingu: … Lyney why?
Bitchface: making friends
Pingu: oh
Pingu: okay
Pingu: hello everyone
Goldilocks: Hello Freminet!
Meditation: Hey!!
Mona: I deeply apologize for what you’re abt to experience in this gc
Child: wait Mona u fr?
Child: ur never this nice
Mona: we gotta protect him, he’s so precious
HornyMagitian: you barely know him
Mona: and?
HornyMagitian: okay nvm
Pingu: I think that’s nice?
Mona: thank you
[Bookworm sent 3 attachments]
Bookworm: homework
[HopelesRomantic added 2 members]
[HopelesRomantic changed 2 nicknames]
FluffyEars: Kaveh I only allow this bc we’re friends
Rawr: but u do have fluffy ears!
HopelesRomantic: see?
FluffyEars: betrayed by my own bf
Mona: thank u Alhaitham I owe you 🙏
HopelesRomantic: he read the msg, hummed and put his phone down, forgetting that he has to type out a response not only think it
Rawr: He’s so autistic lmao
Mona: ur autistic
Rawr: I am 😊
Mona: wow okay
FluffyEars: …
FluffyEars: moving on
Lumine: AETHER U FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT
Lumine: WHWERE THE FUCK ARE MY CHEETOS?
Goldilocks: oh I forgor I added you •⩊•
Goldilocks: they’re in the pantry?
Lumine: NO THEY FUCK THEY’RE NOT
Goldilocks: did u check in the cabinets below the fridge?
Goldilocks: the one with childproof locks so Paimon doesn’t get it?
Lumine: …
Lumine: found them 😇
Goldilocks: u couldn’t open the childproof lock, right?
Lumine: anyway
[Lumine went offline]
Goldilocks: she def counldnt open the lock
Child: what the fuck just happened
Emoguy: keep up
Detective: Lmao roasted
Child: what did I ever do to u 😭🙏
Emoguy: exist
Goldilocks: Lmao Scara ur gonna make him cry
Child: NOT TRUE
Mona: uhu
Nerd: watch it or we gonna believe u
Nerd: 11th harbinger
Emoguy: I like u
Nerd: thanks!
Nerd: I barely know u but u seem cool!
Mona: no he doesn’t
Child: no he doesn’t
Goldilocks: no he doesn’t
Emoguy: well fuck you too
Meditation: okay guys let’s all calm down
Goldilocks: okay (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)
Child: just bc I’m scared of u going berserk
Child: okay
Mona: the clout is crazy
Mona: (submissive ahh)
Mona: Who said that? I didn't hear?
Detective: Mona 😭
Nerd: sooo, any of sophmores got bio with prof. Nahida?...
Icicle: me
Nerd: i know that yun, others 🥰
SpicyChickenLegs: me and Gaming
Pingu: me too
Nerd: …
Nerd: anyone has the homework? 😇
Child: your nickname is literally nerd 🧍
Nerd: and?
Child: ur supposed to know this stuff dude
Nerd: okay child
Nerd: anyway
Pingu: [sent 5 attachments]
Pingu: here you go
Nerd: thank yoy taynk you thank you 🙏🙏
Child: holy shit that's a mini Alhaitham
HornyMagitian: wtf no?
HornyMagitian: do not compare my baby btother to him
HornyMagitian: I take offence in that
HopelesRomantic: bro
HopelesRomantic: i mean real but bro
Mona: lmao 🤣
>Nerd: thank yoy taynk you thank you 🙏🙏
Pingu: your welcome
Rawr: see, child? Alhaitham would never say that
Bitchface: ur scaring him
Child: why are u calling me child, i barely know u dude 😭😭
Child: and ur feral bro bit me, i take offence in THAT
Nerd: holy shit what?
Rawr: u probably deserved it 🤷
Emoguy: he did
Child: Scara?!
Emoguy: its true
Detective: Scara sweetheart can you pls elaborate
Detective: I want tea 😈
Emoguy: not much to say
Emoguy: he was being a bitch so Razor bit him
Emoguy: end of story
Child: i was not?!
Child: all I did was tell that other freshman that he dropped his goggles pls i was trying to help 😭😭
Rawr: skill issue
FullyEars: cyno pls
Rawr: sorry
Rawr: I'll ask razor what happened
Rawr: maybe he misunderstood
Rawr: happy?
Child: yes…
Rawr: was talking to Nari
FluffyEars: very
Dilf: Please stop texting during your classes
Dilf: it is disrespectful towards the profesors
Dilf: besides you're not as discreet as you think
Dilf: yes Venti im talking to you
Twink: oops
[Twink went offline]
Mona: lmao 🤣
Goldilocks: Lumine is not at school, and I'm not either
Goldilocks: we start later today
Birdie: me too
HornyMagitian: yeah no me too
Bitchface: I'm in mr. Baizhu’s economy class
Bitchface: but he had to leave to take a call or sth 🤷
Nerd: why do y'all start so late 😭
Nerd: We've been here since 7 wtf
Rawr: *deep breath*
FluffyEars: Cyno…
Rawr: 🙁
Dragonhead: sorry i had my phone on mute!
Dragonhead: speaking abt classes I thought of sth
Dragonhead: we could make sub groups for separate years?
Dragonhead: like yk juniors and sophomores?
Dragonhead: for homework n stuff?
Icicle: i sexond that
Icicle: SECOND*
Mona: 😭😭😭
Icicle: i swear it was a typo
Nerd: we know yun, we know
Child: do we 🤨
Icicle: pls shut up 🙏
Goldilocks: I think tahts a good idea!
Dragonhead: to the gc or Child shutting up?
Emoguy: both
Goldilocks: ...
Goldilocks: i'm forced to agree with Scara
Goldilocks: it might be less overwhelming for ppl to talk in smaller groups too
Dragonhead: yay!
Sophomore stuff
-11:02AM-
[Dragonhead has made a group]
Dragonhead: i couldn't think of a better name, sorry😭
Nerd: it's good enough
Nerd: straight forward
Junior shit & old aah Venti
-11:02-
[Goldilocks has made a group]
Twink: when I catch u aether, when i catch u
Goldilocks: >ᴗ<
What up hoes!
-11:04-
Goldilocks: wee!!
Mona: help the gc name🙏
Twink: i feel targeted :(
Goldilocks: you are 🥰
Twink: 😭
Dragonhead: done on my end!
Nerd: lets gooo💪💪
Dilf: can you all please pay attention to the classes now?
Mona: partypooper
The magic penguin 🐧 ⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆
-11:05-
Lyney: Fremi where r u?
Fremi🐧: bathroom
Lyney: are u ok?
Fremi🐧: yes
Fremi🐧: just stressed, but its nothing bad
Lyney: are u sure
Lyney: i can get Father to take u home?
Fremi🐧: no, no, it's all good
Fremi🐧: i just had to stay a bit after the break
Fremi🐧: too many ppl during
Lyney: okay…
Lyney: but pls text me if sth is wrong
Lyney: or comw find me
Fremi🐧: i will ૮(•͈⌔•͈)ა
Fremi🐧: pay attention to the lesson
Lyney: so mean 😓
What up hoes!
-15:57-
Nerd: fucking finally
Nerd: nothing against prof Zhongli but man I hate history 😭
Goldilocks: did u just finish school?
Icicle: yes
Goldilocks: lmao skill issue
Lumine: ur still in there dumbass
Goldilocks: shut up
Goldilocks: im in a club rn
Goldilocks: i have life unlike u
Emoguy: i just saw him sticking his tongue at the phone, im killing myself
Meditation: let's not ♡
Emoguy: ok
Child: whati hold on. Pause. Rewind.
Child: ur in the same club?
Child: and noone got punched?
Goldilocks: its a sociology club
Meditation: im here too
Birdie: me too
Childe: wow, excluding us like that to out faces 🙁
Mona: they talk abt gay ppl, its disgusting 🤢
Goldilocks: choke (,,>﹏<,,)
Birdie: okay question…
Birdie: idk you guys well so is she actually homophobic?
Mona: wtf no?!
Birdie: oh okay, thank you for clarifying
Mona: ofc!
Mona: sorry it made u uncomfortable!
Birdie: its okay, i just didn't know
Goldilocks: ur so precious omfg
Child: I'd say another Alhaitham but…
Child: no nvm not ankther Alhairham i take it back!
Goldilocks: lumine …
Lumine: yes?
Goldilocks: …
Goldilocks: nothing 😇
HornyMagitian: hey guyss…
Child: istg if ur abt to ask for hw i will strangle u
HornyMagitian: don't threaten me with good time 😏
Pingu: lyney please I'm here too
Bitchface: for all our sakes please refrain
Mona: ew gay
Childe: 😭
HornyMagitian: no but srs genuine question
HornyMagitian: what did we do today in prof. Xianyun’s class?
HornyMagitian: kinda zoned out accidentally
Bookworm: theory of law in south African countries
HornyMagitian: …
[Bookworm sent 4 attachment]
HornyMagitian: thank youu
Bookworm: 👍
[Bookworm went offline]
HopelesRomantic: okay anyways
HopelesRomantic: can we pls pls talk abt how awful calculus with prof. Knave is 😭
HopelesRomantic: i hate it sm wtf
HopelesRomantic: like i like math and I don't hate prof.K but ffs i feel like im dumb 🧍
HornyMagitian: felt that
Mona: maybe ur just dumb?
Mona: have u considered that?
Bitchface: she's strict but teaches well
HopelesRomantic: well yes but still
HopelesRomantic: mona have u ever considered shutting up ?
HopelesRomantic: try that sometime
Mona: gasp
Emoguy: did u just gasp thru text?
Child: lmao bro went online just to roast unand left
Mona: 🙄
Goldilocks: guys did u know that not fighting will male you not fight
Goldilocks: you should try THAT
Meditation: thank you
Detective: scara kazu, wanna come over 2day?
Detective: my house is empty and i have noone to cuddle 😓
Emoguy: lol no
Meditation: scara be nice please
Meditation: I'll come but i have to make a plan for this years poetry and literature club
Emoguy: ok fine I'll come too
Mona: GAYY
Mona: ew ew ew
Goldilocks: who wants to play mc with me?
Goldilocks: I'm bored and procrastinating bio hw
Birdie: I can, i think
Goldilocks: yay!
Child: aether i thought u werenat school?
Goldilocks: the club ended 15 mins ago, i live close
HornyMagitian: i can play too
Goldilocks: let's fucking go 💪💪💪
[Goldilocks, HornyMagitian and Birdie went offline]
Child: nerds smh
Nerd: real
Child: ur literally
Child: yk what no im not gonna say anything
Nerd: 😇
SpicyChickenLegs: anyone know prof. Neuvillette email?
Dragonhead: why do u need it babes 😭🙏
SpicyChickenLegs: i have an assignment that i need to turn in until tonight and i forgot
SpicyChickenLegs: do not comment i couldn't find him today
Pingu: [email protected]
Child: ok how do u know that wtf?
Child: even I don't know taht
Pingu: it was said in the announcement board
Pingu: on* sorry
Dragonhead: i swear i looked at the board, there wa nothign 😭
Pingu: it was pretty small
SpicyChickenLegs: thank you freminet!!
Pingu: your welcome
Dilf: it indeed was
Dilf: all of teacher's emails are there
Twink: true!
Dragonhead: am i blind😭
Child: dw me too 😔✊
SpicyChickenLegs: same tbh
Emoguy: i jist didn't read the board
Emoguy: couldn't care less tbh
Icicle: i didn't know there was a announcement board…
Nerd: yun are u fr rn 😭
Icicle: …
Icicle: yes
Mona: no comment 😭
Child: you made mona shut up, thats crazy
Child: congrats 👏
Icicle: im sorry i never needed anything from announcements.
Nerd: im gonna show u tmrw
Icicle: thank you
Mona: ew gay
Nerd: MONA