Chapter Text
Back from the cruise, things strangely went back to normal.
Or at least the “normal” Nicky knew before his life was turned upside down by the unpredictable desire of his coveted lover.
Well there was one change. His dad kinda… dipped.
Upon Nicky’s return, he was greeted with a pizza menu and twenty dollars hastily tossed on the kitchen counter. If he’d known that was all he’d be getting, he would have asked his mom to grab him something on their way back. At least then the cash would’ve meant something besides his old man’s lazy handwriting scrawled across grease-stained paper.
Only then she’d figure his dad was slacking off again and without a doubt, hit him over the head with a hammer…
Anywho.
Regardless of her temperament toward his dad, Nicky’s mom was always a treasure to be around. She was sweet and would make sure he had every single silly thing he wanted.
That in mind, the cruise was an absolute blast. Blazing sun, the unique salty breeze, and a long stretch where he could finally unwind after his tempestuous first year of college.
More than that, it was a rare chance to really catch his mom up on his life. Explicit & complicated details tucked away, he simply stated his love life finally exists.
Of course, she instantly guessed it was with Shadow… so that’s that.
Strange enough, it wasn’t awkward at all. Her smile said it all. She saw this coming long before.
At this point, everyone had. The more he thought about it, the more it felt like everyone else had just been waiting for this to happen—with an outcome obvious to everyone but him. For so long, he thought it was just him, yearning in silence, pathetically hung up on his best friend. Turns out, he wasn’t the only one who saw it. Though without a doubt, the only one who felt it.
But yeah, the trip was fun! After surviving that rough first day of seasickness, he bounced back, camera in hand, snapping pictures of anything that moved. He already has many pictures for the project he’s working on. Or guess, gift.
Shadow was equally as sweet as Nicky’s mom and had gotten him a bunch of trinkets before he left on the trip. He didn’t have the chance to give Nicky the gifts until he returned but that didn’t change his appreciativeness.
Yes, they are strange… but perfect in their own little “Shadow” way. So, despite being a mostly broke college student, he decided to do something back!
Especially with such an expensive camera. His mom really went all out. Makes sense though, she’s always traveling for work so she’s likely trying to make up for the lost time. Nicky appreciates her either way, with or without the gifts.
The same goes for Shadow.
Click!
“Oh– sorry. I don’t know why the flash was on.” Nicky gave a sheepish shrug, half-smile tugging at his mouth as embarrassment colored his face after accidentally blinding Shadow.
He blinked against the harsh afterimage, a grimace pulling at his features while he tried to steady his vision.
Meanwhile, Nicky glanced down at the photo, thumb hovering to delete it to not upset Shadow—only to pause. The shot was mostly a blur, fractured by a strange reflection of jagged light.
Frowning, his eyes flicked back up to Shadow. The glint wasn’t from the flash at all. It was catching on the cracked screen of Shadow’s phone sticking out of his back pocket. Sure enough, when he looked closer, the glass was split through with fine lines.
“Hey, what happened to your phone?”
Shadow flinched more than he had with the camera flash.
“Woah, it's okay! Sorry, I didn’t mean to call it out.”
“I–” Shadow pulled out his phone and stared at it blankly for a long beat.
Nicky let the moment stall. Not that there was much to do because he was really confused why Shadow was so off. He had been pretty quiet as of recently but that’s kind of just who he is?
That's the main reason why Nicky hadn’t approached him to discuss what they were again, he clearly didn’t want to talk about it in the heat of the moment and he seemed to have something else in his mind outside of their few intimate times.
The last thing he wanted was to add an extra stressor to the most important person in his life.
AND! Consent is very important, as much as he’d love to live out a crazy sexed-up fantasy of soliciting Shadow, that is still his best friend; he respects him before he desires him. Even if Shadow seems to be more hormonal driven when their…hook-ups (???) occur.
Though those times seem faraway now.
The days had been quiet since his dad had left, and Shadow had been coming over for the same mundane timepasses they had in highschool, it's not that he didn’t want to talk about it, but he appreciated their quality time as much as anything else.
TLDR; Shadow is his best friend first. Lover second.
Wait, “Shadow are you okay?” Nicky’s voice wavered, caught between confusion and alarm. Shadow’s eyes had gone glassy, fixed unblinkingly on the phone in his hand.
Without thinking, Nicky tossed his camera aside onto the hammock, the lens rocking with a dull thud, and rushed to Shadow’s side. One hand brushed his shoulder before he cupped his face, coaxing him to look up. Their eyes met: Nicky’s wide and searching, Shadow’s shimmering with unshed tears.
Shadow hiccupped, breath catching in short, uneven bursts. His lips trembled, the smallest quiver that broke Nicky’s chest in half. A single tear slipped.
“Shadow!” Nicky’s grip tightened desperately searching for what could possibly be hurting the other enough to cry, “What happened?”
“I’m sorry, Nicky.” Shadow’s words tumbled out between his tears. “I’m such a horrible person.” He shook his head, as if the admission wasn’t enough, as if he needed to convince Nicky of his own unworthiness.
But why? Nicky shook his head just as frantically, brushing his thumbs across Shadow’s cheeks to wipe the tears as fast as they fell. “Hey, hey, stop. You can tell me anything, alright? Anything. You’re my best friend before all this stupid, complicated shit. That doesn’t change.”
“Do you…do you think what we’re doing is stupid?” His voice was a whisper, almost childlike, carrying all the shame he couldn’t put into words.
“No!” The word flew out fast, panicked. He held Shadow tighter, as if sheer force could keep him from slipping away. “No, it’s not stupid. Whatever it is, it can’t be that bad. It can’t.”
Wiping his tears before reaching to grip Nicky’s wrists, Shadow’s voice broke through the sobs. “I did something really bad,” he whispered, each word weighed down like lead. “Before you. And then again when you were gone. I shouldn’t have—”
Confused, Nicky opened his mouth to voice it but Shadow cut him off.
“I slept with” Shadow paused, trying to stop himself from hyperventilating with eyes closed before continuing.
“...Someone. It was wrong, Nicky. It was so wrong and I knew it, and I still—” Shadow’s gaze wavered, more tears blurred his vision. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
Nicky’s lips parted, shock hollowing out his chest.
He stared, waiting for more, waiting for a name.
But when nothing else came, the tension inside him twisted, buckled, and broke in a nervous laugh.
He shook his head quickly, as though swatting away the weight of the moment.
It kind of seems like Shadow’s issue here is that it happened.
…Which he really doubts it even did.
“Okay…Um–” Nicky’s middle school nervous energy shone for a second till he swallowed it down. “No offense Shadow, but you're a really bad kisser.”
Shadow blinked, stunned through the tears. “...What?”
Nicky sighed theatrically, shaking his head like he was giving a grave review. “Even if what you’re saying happened, I doubt it’s as big of a deal as you think.” His smile was crooked, uncertain, but his tone carried that awkward playfulness he always used when he didn’t know what else to do.
Shadow just stared at him, wiping at his wet cheeks slowly. The confusion in his eyes deepened, like he couldn’t tell if Nicky had just saved him or brushed him off.
And it wasn’t that Nicky thought Shadow was unattractive or incapable of hooking up—far from it.
He’d seen the way people looked at him, the way their eyes lingered and at the party: hands tried to grasp at something more.
But he’d also seen how Shadow never looked back.
In the literal sense. Eye contact had never been his strong suit. Except with Nicky.
His singular privilege. Shadow entrusted him with something he didn’t give anyone else. Whether eyes, being, or the fragile parts of himself he kept locked away.
Nicky held onto that, cherished it more dearly than whatever Shadow was clearly regretting could change. (But of course, it obviously didn’t happen!)
Maybe in another world, if Shadow had blurted this out in the middle of an argument, it would’ve been different. Different enough to drive Nicky inside and slam the door on everything they were. But no. Shadow’s words were subdued and fractured by hiccups and tears that hurt Nicky more than anything he could have said. He didn’t sound like someone making a damning confession. He just sounded… lost, unmoored, almost scarcely grounded to the present.
A hurt individual searching desperately for others to mirror the self-contempt he bore within.
And Nicky—Nicky would never let that happen. Even in the absolute worst-case scenario, he couldn’t imagine turning away from Shadow completely. At most, he’d just need space, time to breathe, but never absence. The idea of absence felt impossible, like tearing away a part of his living beating heart.
Never.
In his mind, there was nothing in the world that could sever him from Shadow. Nothing.
He wanted every part of him—every glance, every silence, every piece he hid from the world. Every shard and fracture of his prism soul.
He longed for him through the good, the bad, and the horrors that would burn him too.
And if fire was what it took, then Nicky would gladly step into it, let it consume him as long as Shadow was there beside him.
It sounded insane. Most definitely was. But he’d waited too long to let this go. To let Shadow drift back into the unreachable place he kept everyone else.
The very thought made him laugh under his breath—self-aware and yeah admittedly unsettling—but he was certain Shadow would understand, perhaps even take solace in it. His expression dulcet as he leaned closer, his tone dropping into something nearly conspiratorial:
“Shadow. You could literally light me on fire and I wouldn’t care. You’re fine. You’ll always be fine with me.”
Shadow still appeared caught between that earlier confusion and the fragile hope tucked in Nicky’s voice. “...That would be mean. I don’t want to hurt you anymore.”
Nicky smiled faintly, the warmth in it softening the absurdity of his words. “I know you don’t. That’s why I said it. Because even if you did the worst thing imaginable, I’d still choose to spend eternity with you.”
He pushed his glasses up his nose, “I don’t see you the way you see yourself. Yes, you’re allowed to hurt, but I’m just as allowed to stay.”
Shadow’s eyes flickered, a storm of disbelief and longing all at once. But ultimately, rolled his eyes. Though it was clearly more to cover his vulnerability than to dismiss Nicky.
“Stuff happens. College is weird,” Nicky added, with a shaky little laugh.
Shadow shook his head slowly. “It was before that.”
Nicky furrowed his brows. His instincts pulled him toward a thousand questions, but he forced himself to hold back, not wanting to spiral them both into a pit of assumptions. “Okay… You don’t have to tell me everything right now. But if you ever need someone to talk to about it—other than me—you and Knuckles’ girlfriend seem close. Maybe we can plan a trip soon?”
Shadow looked to the floor and considered it, then gave a small nod, the gesture hesitant but genuine.
“Great! We can do that. See? It’s all okay.”
Shadow’s lip quivered, and tears began to well up again, fully spilling over despite his efforts to contain them. The sight tugged at something deep inside Nicky, who leaned closer and reached to brush a damp strand of fur back into place.
“Okay, okay. I mean—not okay.” Nicky scrambled to soften his tone, his voice catching with nervous energy. “How about we go inside? Do you wanna do that, Shads?”
Shadow nodded, wiping at his tears with the back of his hand.
“Okay. We can go to my room. I’ve got your favorite game up there!”
Shadow’s throat worked around an unsteady breath, but he nodded again. And for the first time since the tears began, Nicky caught the faintest flicker of relief on his face.
“Ha! Twenty-one!” Nicky shouted, slapping his cards down with a triumphant grin.
Shadow only smirked before flashing his hand—an ace and a ten. “Blackjack.”
Nicky’s mouth fell open. “Ughhh, I hate playing games with you. We’re too similar.”
“Pft, it’s pure luck,” Shadow replied smoothly, his smirk growing at Nicky’s frustration.
“Yeah, yours! I won first,” Nicky shot back, trying to salvage his pride.
He pushed himself up from the bedroom floor with an exaggerated groan and threw himself onto the bed. “I don’t want to play anymore. I clearly won,” he muttered, burying his face into the sheets like a sulking idiot.
The mattress dipped beneath added weight, and Nicky turned his head just enough to see Shadow had settled beside him. But instead of another smug smile or a teasing jab, Shadow just looked at him quietly, crimson hazed with a strange fondness.
The warmth in that gaze made the game dissolve into irrelevance.
“Yeah, Shads?” Nicky asked, voice dropping softer.
“You are infuriating.”
“Hey! ” Nicky exclaimed as he sat up defensively.
Shadow scoffed, folding his arms. “Your logic is stupid.”
“You’re just mad I called you a bad kisser earlier!”
Shadow’s eyes widened.
“Wait—sorry. I didn’t mean to joke about that.”
“Pft. I’m not a fragile thing you have to protect.”
“Yeah, but I want to,” Nicky replied with a dopey smile, sitting up straighter so their eyes were level.
“If you think I’m such a bad kisser…” Shadow looked away, voice dropping low. “Then why don’t you pick a game you can win and prove it?”
His tone was strangely shy, but that only made the suggestion feel criminally vulgar.
Nicky swallowed, heat rushing to his cheeks. “I don’t think it’s a good idea… or at least not today.”
Shadow clicked his tongue, annoyance flashing through his usual stubbornness. “Stop overthinking it. We’ll—” His gaze dropped to the cards still scattered across the floor. “--make it a rematch.”
Nicky laughed, shaking his head. “Oh, so you’re just a sore loser now.”
“I clearly won.”
Nicky sighed, chuckling as he gave in. “Okay, fine. Whatcha got in mind? A card pull? Roll a d—”
Shadow’s hand shot out, gripping his face firmly and dragging him into a kiss that was anything but gentle. It was harsh, bruising, more a collision than a kiss.
Like before, it was all sharp teeth and pressure, less affection than a provocation. Nicky felt it in the red sting blooming across his mouth. He tore himself away with a gasp, panting, his lips tingling as though bitten.
“Dude. Time and place,” he managed between breaths, wiping his mouth on the back of his sleeve.
Shadow leaned back, unbothered but muzzle glowing red. His fangs caught the dim light as he smirked. “I’m not a bad kisser.”
“That’s not kissing! You’re trying to cannibalize me!”
Shadow blinked slowly, unimpressed. “Why don’t you try, then?”
Nicky rubbed his jaw in pain,“Kissing is a two-person thing, Shads.”
“I know that.”
“How about I teach you? Or I guess, we learn together.”
The usual boldness in Shadow’s eyes softened in tune with the faint blush that spread across his face. “…Okay.”
Nicky moved around to meet his eyes. “Well, you kinda need to look at me heh.”
Shadow hesitated, then forced himself to turn back, eyes meeting Nicky’s with a nervous defiance. The vulnerability in his expression was rare, almost startling, and it made Nicky’s chest ache in ways he could have never imagined. More than fluster, a crush or weird fixation.
Love.
But he wasn't gonna scare Shadow off by saying that.
“Hmmm…I guess let me try to start it for once,” He reached up, cupping Shadow’s face again. The softness in his touch seemed almost foreign to Shadow. As if gentleness was just another prelude to cruelty. But here, now, the rubble of his past seemed to blur out of focus.
Their eyes met, holding each other in a silence burdensome enough to collapse everything that had led to this moment.
The vehemence of crimson flickered down toward his mouth, and Nicky followed suit. Nicky leaned in, gradually dissolving the distance inch by inch. Experimentally, their lips brushed.
Nicky adjusted his muzzle to make the fit more natural, but he kept the pressure minimal. He wanted Shadow to feel it. A true equilibrium between passion and adoration.
When their lips parted again, Nicky guided the rhythm, taking the upper hand by slotting his lips firmly above Shadow’s still tentative ones. He could feel the tension bubbling in Shadow, the impatience clawing at the edges of his stillness. But Nicky steadied them. He tilted his head, breaking the seal with care, only to lean back in and press their mouths together again at a slightly different angle.
He pulled back just enough to murmur, lips brushing against Shadow’s: “Okay—so, um… this part? You don’t have to rush. It’s like, uh… matching breaths, I guess. Kinda dorky, I know.”
He gave a nervous laugh, but his hands never wavered as they cradled Shadow’s face. “See, if you tilt a little…” Shadow angled himself with a slight furrow of brows.
With a nod, “Yeah, like that—it’s smoother. Less like we’re trying to, y’know, smash noses.”
Shadow, silent and intent, mirrored him. The impatience softened into an adorable concentration, his mouth moving in time with Nicky’s. He straightened his posture, drawing himself taller with a kind of focus that burned behind his half-lidded eyes. A sharp “hmph” escaped him as he gave back into the kiss, adjusting the angle himself.
The pace picked up. Nicky let his mouth part: “Good–”
But before the words could form, Shadow seized the opening. “Mmm!”
Which was like…not his intention but…He responded instinctively, lips molding against Shadow’s as his own tongue tangled back. His hands drifted down from Shadow’s face, sliding slowly until they settled at his waist.
Shadow gave the smallest nod into the kiss, and pushed firmly at Nicky’s shoulders, guiding him down until his back hit the mattress. He followed suit, climbing over Nicky on all fours, his body a cage without weight, hovering just above. Every ounce of pressure concentrated in their mouths.
It felt so good to have Shadow like this. Like, for once, it was actually Shadow himself. His best friend. Everything he ever wanted. It was perfect and–
And of course, Shadow interrupted his lovesick daze, grinding down onto him
The surprise tore a startled noise out of Nicky—“mm!”—pitched high into Shadow’s mouth as his eyes fluttered wide.
Shadow answered with a low “Mhm.” The bed creaked faintly beneath them, every movement pulling them further into the fire of a makeout that had left Nicky’s supposed lesson behind.
Well. What else was there to do today anyway?
With more intentions to provoke, Shadow rocked forward, clothes grinding further together. Despite it being his own doing, he let out a guttural noise, a low rumble pressed directly against Nicky’s lips, and rocked down again. Equally as enamored, Nicky moaned into the kiss, his body straining upward despite his best efforts.
But even through the reciprocation, Shadow pulled back. A thin strand of saliva lingered between them before snapping as he wiped his mouth, a low hum of pleasure slipping out at the lingering contact. Sliding lower, his hand found the buckle of Nicky’s belt, tugging at the metal.
“Shads, I love you but not now.”
“What.” Shadow tore his hand from Nicky’s belt like he’d been burnt.
“No!” Nicky jumped out of bed, tipping Shadow unceremonially on his side on the bed, “I meant– Wait yes but not now–”
Shadow stared blankly.
Avoiding said stare Nicky said, "Actually you know this is a great opportunity to address the elephant in the room.”
“What elephant?” The black hedgehog asked with genuine horror etched on his face.
“Tch, it’s an expression Shads.”
“Okay…”
He still looked bewildered. It was cute. Nicky’s quiet giggle slipped out as he extended his hand. Shadow took it halfway, allowing himself to be pulled to his feet.
“Why don’t we go make a snack and slow things down for a sec…”
Shadow sighed very loudly.
“I know I know! You hateee slow but trust me ‘kay?”
Nicky intertwined their fingers together and tugged Shadow downstairs. Hand in hand. He didn’t look back but he had a feeling there was a bashful expression on Shadow’s face at the gesture. He’ll just have to try it again another time and see!
Once they got to the fridge, Nicky pulled out some peanut butter.
Shadow’s eyes widened.
“I– Okay not my intention. But not a bad idea either.” Nicky laughed at the thought that was likely brewing in that filthy head of Shadow.
Shadow scoffed. “I didn’t say anything”
“Righttttt.” Nicky teased as he reached for a green apple and scrambled around for a cutting board and knife.
Shadow followed him closely, it was actually super silly but one supposes that Nicky did stop the contact abruptly so, he’s likely just looking for more.
A smile finds Nicky’s face at the thought as he sets down the apple. “Do you want to help?”
A sigh of relief escaped the other, likely at the opportunity to have something to do other than follow him like a sad puppy. Not that Nicky minded! Nicky slid the knife across the kitchen counter, Shadow hesitated but grabbed and got straight to work, moving the fruit to the kitchen table to sit and work.
Nicky pulled himself a seat and sat lazily, “You know…” He began and Shadow’s ears perked toward him. “It's not that I don’t want to do …it” He still had trouble articulating his desires without the impulsivity of Shadow to guide him.
“I just think we are friends, or were, I don’t know. Actually that’s what I want to talk about.”
Shadow wrapped up chopping the green apples, he looked up to Nicky with a solemn expression. “I see. Do you have lemons I can cut?”
“Um…Yeah?” Nicky turned around to the fridge but kept speaking, easier now that he wasn’t looking at Shadow. “I think even during— when we have…had? It. I have some questions like…” He opened the fridge and in a quick breath that was mostly drowned out by the hum of the appliance said, “Why do you always say ‘daddy’ and then never mention it?”
He turned around with an awkward smile and met Shadow who was opting to look at the lemons instead. Nicky handed off the fruit and let the silence drag on. Once Shadow had the fruit ready to cut, with a knife just above, he finally replied, “It just happens. I can try to stop it if it makes you uncomfortable.”
“I wouldn’t say it makes me uncomfortable, I just didn’t know where it was coming from. I don’t really mind, actually! I love hearing your voice.”
Shadow looked up at him with a flourish blush and then immediately back down to his lemons.
“I also don’t mind doing it whenever you want, it seemed impulsive the first few times but if that’s just your style I can get used to it. You know, just wanted to make sure it was coming from the right headspace and not something we’d regret later.”
Shadow poured the last of the fruit into one large bowl. “I regret a lot. But, you're not one of them.”
Now it was Nicky’s turn to blush. Chaos, he felt like they were in some cheesy high school romance. Aw man if he had to do this with Shadow in high school he’d melt to the floor and die of embarrassment.
Holding the bowl tight to himself Shadow said, “Can we go back to your room now or did you have something else to say?”
Shadow sat down criss-cross green-apple sauce on the bed, with the bowl in between his legs and began snacking on some of the apple slices. Nicky jumped next to him, rocking the bed and making Shadow chuckle some more. He loved hearing those noises from Shadow and the excitement was truly emanating from him in every way.
As in, he’d love to hear many more noises from Shadow. But. Before this turns into another bottomless pit of feelings, and as much as he hates to ask but has to:
“So… what are we?”
Shadow brought a paw to his mouth as he finished chewing and then swallowed, “I’m not not quite sure.”
“Perhaps I need a promotion.” He gestured to himself, “Formerly known as your first friend, roommate, and whatever was in between. Thank you!” He pretended to entertain a crowd though they both knew he’d never be able to hold it.
Then with a nervous laugh: “So…maybe I could be your boyfriend now?”
Swallowing another piece, “Don’t people usually ask the other out?” Shadow asked, clearly judging with a side eye.
“Yeah well most people don’t just jump their roomates bones. Actually–”
In unison: “Yes they do.” They both shook their heads and stifled laughter, and Shadow got up to set his snack bowl on the nightstand. Nicky moved toward the middle of his bed.
Finally, Shadow turned back and said, “I suppose that doesn’t sound too bad.”
“So that's a yes!”
“Yes, Nicky.” He smiled at him, he looked so pretty.
Sometimes Nicky wished there was a way to make Shadow see himself the way he did.
From the corner of his vision, he was blinded by the sun peaking in through his curtains and reflecting on his mirror to his glasses. He flinched but when he moved, the reflection must have bounced off his glasses to Shadow’s face.
“Sorry. I–” Wait.
Let Shadow see things his way.
“Hey Shads. Do you wanna try something?”
Shadow rubbed his eyes to get his vision back but nodded.
“Okay, can you…on the bed…On all fours. Sorry, I know it's weird.”
Shadow gave him a long stare before blinking away whatever came to mind. He turned around and his eyes widened as he saw the mirror facing straight at him.
“Oh you know, so the light doesn’t blind us.” He lied. (Sorry Shads) He climbed onto the bed behind him, his thighs were lined up in position with the others but he didn’t touch. “Is this okay?”
“It’s fine. I thought it was something else but this is fine.”
Something else? Oh. Quite the opposite.
“Youre so silly, of course I love seeing your face.” Nicky said with a smile and their eyes met in the mirror.
Shadow blushed bright red and grumbled, “Can you at least pass me a pillow.”
“Atleast?? Wow okay. Sure thing princess.” Nicky laughed as he stained to reach for a spare pillow.
“Don’t call me that.” Shadow said. Nicky was looking away and couldn’t read his face when he said it and from that it sounded unusually stern, but he was probably just messing around. Either way! Won’t risk it, just try to remember to ask later. Maybe. It’s probably nothing. He’ll forget it.
“Here you go”
Shadow grabbed the pillow and hugged it under his chin. He leaned his body down but kept his ass up, and actually scooted back towards Nicky. Likely getting comfortable but man if it wasn’t the hottest thing Nicky had ever seen.
Trying not to overwhelm Shadow with his eyes boring into the other’s face, he looked down to focus. “I’m gonna pull these down now.”
“You don’t have to narrate everything. I already agreed.”
“Right.” Nicky muttered, as he slid the pajama pants Shadow had borrowed from him. His usual leather pants killed him after a couple of hours of sitting around. His PJs stayed low at his thighs and Nicky reached tentatively for Shadow’s boxers but the other sighed and moved to take them off himself.
As he slid them down, Shadow complained, “Are you doing this to humiliate me?”
“What!? No!”
“Then hurry up.” Shadow buried himself into his pillow again, muzzle fully tucked in as he hugged it. Eyes were still visible but he was looking away.
Up until he heard the familiar rattle of Nicky’s belt. His eyes snapped and head strained to the side as he tried to catch a glimpse of Nicky’s member.
“You seem kinda desperate, you know?” Nicky teased, sliding his pants and boxers down in tandem as his cock sprang out. Pathetically as usual, hard and leaking pre-cum.
He watched Shadow lick his lips until the words hit him and he schooled his expression, “I have no idea what you are talking about.”
“Hm, me neither.” Nicky grabbed Shadow’s hip with one hand and his member with the other. He stared down at Shadow's cunt. Not really been giving it attention so far from the position and whole mirror thing. Pretty and pink like the blush that adorned his face, Shadow’s pussy was slick and practically dripping. So much for his "humiliation" complaints. Perhaps Nicky should ask if that’s something he was trying to tell Nicky he was into. Though Nicky feels like he’d never be able to be mean to Shadow. Even despite requests.
That just meant he had to make sure he was extra good for Shadow during this. So he wouldn’t be left searching for more. With a refound focus, Nicky pumped his cock twice. (He doesn’t think he can handle any more than that with the sight in front of him). But it was enough to focus and he guided himself to the other’s entrance, pushing the folds aside to press the tip in.
“Mm- I–” Nicky struggled, pushing more in despite his usual carefulness. Searching to free the hand holding his cock to be able to hold onto Shadow.
“Mmm!” Shadow mewled, and Nicky could see his claws coming out to scratch at the pillow.
“S-sorry,” Nicky let the words spill out of his mouth but still slid in more. He watched Shadow’s eyes roll back as he was about half-way in. Not insanely big compared to some of the depictions he’s seen in his anime fandom spaces but he supposes big enough to have Shadow trying to grind back at him. Desperately wanting to be filled.
“I know I know, I’m trying.”
“Try harder.” Shadow said through grit teeth.
Craving to please his new boyfriend, but more frustrated at the way Shadow’s sass was starting to sound like all his highschool bullies. Nicky snared and dug his thumbs into the other’s hips. He heard the whimper from the hold momentarily before he dragged Shadow back onto his cock, impaling him all the way down and leaving Shadow’s precious pillow at the edge of the bed.
Trying to find his bearings, Shadow grabbed urgently at the mattress. But Nicky didn’t let him. If Shadow wanted to complain, Nicky would take advantage of his overzealous moments.
He pulled back and gave Shadow the illusion of mercy, watching Shadow start to get back up on his palms. But just as his elbows were about to lock him straight back into all-fours, Nicky thrust in. Shadow lost his balance and fell face first into the bed. Well, at this point, Nicky felt like he had a point to prove. And like he said, he wasn’t doing this to hurt Shadow but this was all still felt a part of their competitiveness from earlier. While Nicky is no trackstar like his boyfriend, he can still match him in some areas.
Sex is apparently one of the easiest ways. He started a rhythm, pulling back once more but no longer pausing. Digging into the other repeatedly, trying to keep him down and focusing on filling him repeatedly to the hilt to keep him down.
Shadow’s mouth fell open, unrestrained moans breaking free each time Nicky dug in. As well as the whimpers each time Nicky almost pulled out. As if the idea of even pausing would kill him.
Enamored that the other seemed to need him that badly, Nicky pushed down on the other’s spine, forcing him to arch further. And–though not the intention–at the new angle, Shadow’s cunt pulsed uncontrollably around Nicky’s cock.
Absolutely shocked at the sensation, Nicky doubled over but caught himself. His head pressed against Shadow’s shoulder with a groan and he struggled to move. Staying still, practically cock-warming.
Shadow shifted and Nicky mustered the energy to look up to see him straining his neck to turn to face Nicky. To help him out, Nicky moved further. Accidentally fucking deeper into Shadow in the effort. Still, it worked and he caught the moan that escaped Shadow with his lips.
He gave him a few chaste kisses before pulling back, the strain on his neck immediately obvious…maybe he couldn’t always hold up against Shadow’s athleticism.
Nicky rolled his shoulders and tried to focus, sliding out mostly as he readjusted his posture straight. He gave Shadow the chance to readjust himself back to his pillow so they were back at ground zero.
“Can I keep going?” Nicky asked, out of breath and blinking back his focus. Somehow, glasses still on.
Clearing his throat, “Yeah…”
Nicky nodded and started with shallow thrusts, keeping the movement minimal and working it up slowly.
“Mmm, just like that Nicky.” Shadow slurred and helped him out, shimming his hips back.
Nicky took that to know he should speed up before that praise turned to impatient sass. He massaged his thumbs into the other’s hips gently before getting a good grip around them –one that had Shadow clench around him briefly– and he pulled himself out all the way till only the head of his cock remained inside. Length visibly stretching Shadow out. Especially clear with Shadow’s arch.
But his focus rang back to the mirror, Shadow’s eyes struggling to stay open through blinks. He met his fizzling gaze and fucked right into him, watching those eyes widen and jaw drop slack with a moan.
Wanting to hear more and not waiting for Shadow to shut his mouth and silence himself, Nicky immediately started a fast pace. Fucking in and out of him and watching those wide eyes roll to the back of his head. He felt like a pervert watching the scene unfold through the mirror, though yes, it was him fucking Shadow. The whole reflection bit just made it even more criminally vulgar. Again.
It was hot nonetheless, and though it was himself, it was easy to imagine it wasn’t. More like a pornographic sight.
That in itself helped him focus to bring out some of that rough treatment that the masochist side of Shadow seemed to love. Because though Shadow seemed to be physically enjoying it, that tell-tale nickname hadn’t slipped. And yes, they discussed it so there is a chance that he might now feel self-conscious and not do it anymore. But, Nicky wanted to try.
He switched the grip he had on Shadow’s hips. Instead of using it to keep the other steady, or himself straight he grabbed him from both sides and started shoving Shadow back onto his cock every time he thrusted forward. The double momentum felt absolutely insane on his cock. Pleasure almost numbing, as all the blood rushed away from his head to focus on getting to his release.
Practically manhandling Shadow closer to him, the quiet side of his inhibited brain did feel bad but man it was such a sight to watch in the mirror. Such a stoic, college athlete, introverted to everyone his best friend and finally, finally lover.
Shadow was finally his. He didn’t have to feel bad about it. Shadow clearly loved it. He trusted Nicky enough to do this. To want this. To want him. Shadow clearly loved Nicky.
How had he not seen it before?
Emotions flooded his mind, one that was now empty from all the blood occupying his cock and he felt himself unconsciously start to tear up. His vision becoming blurry and not just from the sweat starting to build up from fucking Shadow with such vigour.
“Sh-Shadow…” He slurred in between thrusts, cut off from his throat closing in from his near-crying and pants.
“Mmmhm…?” Shadow mewled, seemingly a question from the pitch though.
“I–fuck–” Nicky laughed nervously, words dying out feeling even the movement of laughing in his belly pushing down on his prostate, mixing the double pleasure. “Oh I’m gonna–”
Hips stuttered and he stopped his thrusting, but Shadow tried his best to keep thrusting onto him. Only helping to drag Nicky into his release fully, his thumbs digging into bone as cum filled Shadow. Immediately overstimulating with the way Shadow’s walls from being near climax, milking every drop of his white hot seed. It was so much. The feeling overwhelming.
“No no- Nicky please don’t stop I–” Shadow pushed himself up to all fours, seeing Nicky’s movement freeze to fully get his leverage back. Practically using Nicky as a dildo attached to a wall for the beat Nicky struggled to catch his composure.
“I’m so close Nicky…” He sped up desperately against Nicky, slamming back so much that even Nicky struggled to stay standing still. Especially with the fact that every drag Shadow did was still grabbing at his cock and making the last of his cum spew out.
“Ah– Ah! Daddy please–” Shadow moaned uncontrollably and with every effort in his body, Nicky furrowed his brow and tried to move back to help Shadow out. He thrusted back in tandem though much shallower and truthfully, pathetic.
“Mm…” Nicky whined as it was absolutely killing him, legs shaking as he grit his teeth and swallowed the urge to pull out. “Uhh-” More whimpers spilled out from him pathetically.
“I know I know just a little longer,” Shadow assured him.
Nicky nodded and tried to focus on the gasps and increasing pitch of Shadow’s moans. He let the other keep fucking on to him. Using his own cum as lubrication that he felt spill out with every harsh thrust. The sound completely obscene but so attractive. Even as his cum dribbled down both their legs, escaping the tight confines of Shadow’s cunt and Nicky’s still hard cock. Splattering down on the sheets. Nicky was practically fucking his own cum further and further into Shadow.
“Nicky, I–” With a high keen, Shadow gasped. And Nicky opened his eyes to watch in the mirror as Shadow’s eyes rolled all the way to the back of his head for the final time. A loud moan escaping his slack jaw and arch, turning even further.
Shadow practically collapsed the arms he had locked in place, locking free and whole body falling flat on the bed. Including his legs, slipping off of Nicky.
Blinking and sighing in relief at the stimulation finally ending, though it was without a doubt the best sex of his life, Nicky sat on the bed. The whole “on his knees” position was getting painful, even with the mattress. He swayed his legs to the side and watched as Shadow curled up in the middle of the bed.
He supposes it is his boyfriend so the appropriate thing would be to cuddle him. He doesn’t need the usual stalling so he can get him water after. Yes. That sounds right. He climbed around Shadow to press against his back and wrap an arm around him. Snaking through his arm and wrapping around his waist tightly. He could feel the frantic rise and fall of the other’s breathing slow. And at that, buried his face into the other’s shoulder-blade and let himself drift with the faint heartbeat playing against his ear.
Listening to the heart of the one who consumed his own for so long. Finally.
EPILOUGE
Nicky woke to the sound of someone coughing in the bathroom. He groaned, rubbed his eyes, and fumbled for the glasses he’d tossed carelessly onto the floor last night.
“You okay?”
The door creaked as Shadow cracked it open, face twisted in disgust. “I was nauseous.”
“Aww, c’mon—don’t tell me you’re gonna be a mommyyy.” Nicky teased, voice obnoxiously sing-song.
Shadow closed his eyes and pressed a hand to his forehead. “That’s not how it works.”
“Oh yeah, isn't it at least three weeks after or something?”
Shadow froze and his eyes went wide in a way Nicky had never seen before. “I think I’m going to be sick.” He said and spun back to the toilet.
Nicky rushed behind him, “Hey no it's okay I’ll shut up!” He reached for Shadow but the other batted him off with a shaky hand.
“Shads, it's fine. I left for the cruise 3 weeks ago and the first time was….over 6-7 weeks ago? I doubt it's anything like that.”
Shadow pulled back from his wretching with tears in his eyes.
“Plus,” Nicky added gently, “Didn’t you say you started the pill cause of your cramps last year?”
Shadow stood up and wiped his mouth. He shook his head.
“What?!”
“It was a short-term solution and complicated when I switched from pediatrics. I didn’t want to bug my grandfather, and it felt…. irrelevant.”
“So that means, the last time you were…was when you were…”
“Seventeen.”