Chapter Text
Gundham Tanaka did not expect to wake up. Therefore, he did not expect to see Her Royal Highness, Princess Sonia Nevermind of Novoselic sitting beside him. And he certainly could not have expected to see her having just paused in the crocheting of a plum-colored scarf, already wrapped several times around her neck.
His breath caught in his throat. Was she alive? Was he alive? Why was she at his bedside? Podside? Everything was fuzzy. Strange, apocalyptic images floated through his mind. In the distance, some kind of alarm was going off.
His gaze shifted down down to the rest of his body. It looked wrong somehow. He tried to blink it away. The harsh green lights and stiff clothing only added to his discomfort.
Sonia’s voice startled him.
“Gundham?” she asked slowly, eyes wide. They were anxious, cautious, sad. At least she appeared unharmed.
Gundham tried to speak but found his throat impossibly dry.
“I’ll get you some water,” Sonia seemed to remember herself. She reached into a bag at her side and retrieved a bottle.
Gundham tried to sit up. It was a struggle.
“Easy there, it has been a while,” Sonia warned.
He grunted but did not relent. He kept his gaze down, knowing she was watching him.
“Mmm,” Sonia pursed her lips. Gundham tried to reach for the water, but found he needed his arms for support.
Sonia shook her head and uncapped the water bottle, carefully giving him a small drink. She tried to help steady him, but withdrew when he flinched at the touch. Gundham’s arms promptly gave out.
He tried to speak again, “Sonia? What….?”
“Much was… not as we thought,” Sonia offered cryptically, “but you should recover your senses before all that.” She began to fiddle with the unfinished scarf. Allowing himself more than a cursory glance, Sonia looked… off as well. Her eyes caught his attention again- there was something in them he could not read. He could not understand. They were different than when he had last seen them. He blinked rapidly.
He should have been dead. Executed. He had made his choice.
“I know it’s a lot to take in, but you are alive and you will be alright,” Sonia was watching him closely once again.
“Nidai?” he managed to ask.
“He is alright as well. He woke up eight days ago.”
“How?”
“Persistent, are you not?” Sonia sighed, “Well, we were in a simulation meant to help us recover from the tragedy. Those who died before you were not really killed and have all awoken. We did not know if you would at first, but-” something caught in her throat. She took off the scarf.
That was about all he could process at the moment. The tragedy? How had it happened? It was a relief that the events on the island had not been real, but what had come before that was unclear. Illusions of death and destruction at the hands of a being who looked very much like him plagued the edges of his mind. Something was dreadfully wrong. Part of him wanted to ask, but most of him was just exhausted. His head reeled.
“I’ll call Mikan and… Hajime,” Sonia told him, “They’ll need to have a look at you.” She moved towards the door.
“Wait-” he tried to lift an arm in her direction, “The sinister dreams that haunt me...are they visions of truth?”
Sonia stopped. She said nothing.
Gundham slipped back into unconsciousness.
When Gundham awoke again, he found Mikan Tsumiki peering over him anxiously. He appeared to have been moved to a hospital room, albeit one that looked like it was circa 1975.
“Very good,” Tsumiki nodded, with only a hint of a stutter.
Gundham gave an annoyed grunt. He did not feel like dealing with her pitiful whining, although he had to admit he was relieved to see another “dead” classmate back in the world of the living.
“Thank you, Mikan,” Sonia’s voice chimed in from somewhere behind the nurse, “That is good to hear.”
Tsumiki smiled nervously, glancing in his direction, “H-how are you feeling now, Tanaka?”
“My continued existence on this mortal plane escapes comprehension. It can only bode ill. My status as harbinger of evil has been confirmed- it would have been better if I failed to awaken altogether. Your efforts will inevitably be wasted.”
Tsumiki looked to Sonia.
“He sounds much more like himself,” Sonia reassured her, although, to Gundham, the brightness in her voice rang hollow, “You have done a marvelous job!”
“Thank you,” Tsumiki squeaked.
Gundham was vaguely aware of Tsumiki giving Sonia further instructions as he sulked. Her shoes clicked along the floor as she left.
“Gundham?” he could sense Sonia’s gaze. He said nothing.
Sonia sighed and sat down.
“I know this is extremely difficult. Waking up… remembering… it is the hardest part. But please, do not take it out on Mikan. She is doing her best to return to her true self and has undertaken a lot of work helping everyone recover. We all must learn to trust each other and be friends again, as we were at school,” her voice broke, “It is all we have left….”
Out of the corner of his eye, Gundham could see Sonia’s hands clench into fists. He feared she would cry. He remembered the last time he had seen her cry- caused her to cry. But now the tears did not come.
Sonia inhaled sharply, “I have little advice to offer. I did not want to speak of it at first, either. But we are learning to cope, somehow.”
He still could not bring himself to address her.
“I do not wish to further overwhelm you, but I must explain Hajime’s current state. Do you remember Izuru Kamukura?” After a moment he could vaguely recall Hinata’s ill-advised transformation.
Gundham gave a grunt he hoped sounded less noncommittal than he thought.
“The Future Foundation, they were the ones that saved us from our despair, at least, well…. You’ll get to meet them when they return- I mean, they were able to restore Hajime to his body, he just has to… share it.”
Gundham blinked at her, “An abominable state of being. Surely this has done nothing to lift him from a state of despair.”
Sonia coughed, “I am not sure that is his conclusion. I think it best to leave such matters to him.”
“Hm.”
Sonia reached down for the purple scarf poking out of her bag, but changed her mind and stood up.
“He needs to speak with you.”
“Hn.”
“Gundham…. When you want to talk, I am here.” She stepped into the hallway and was replaced a few moments later by Hinata, or at least someone who looked like him.
“Hello, Tanaka. Good to see you awake. Sonia says you aren’t very talkative, but I’m afraid I have to discuss a few things with you.”
Gundham nodded reluctantly. There was no getting out of it. Hinata began with a series of routine questions to ensure Gundham understood their current reality. The mundane nature of repeating his name, date of birth, talent, hometown, and on and on was surely to give him a false sense of security.
“How old are you?”
Gundham almost answered 17 automatically. But no. That was why everyone looked wrong. The nightmare had lasted years. They were older.
“I don’t know,” he managed.
“20,” Hinata provided. Three years. It had lasted three years.
Hinata looked up from his clipboard, “You have somewhat less to process than the others, but I’m sure it must be a shock.”
“It is insignificant in the vast scheme of anathemas to contemplate,” Gundham muttered.
Hinata tilted his head slightly, “You know, if you hadn’t taken action in the funhouse, if everyone had starved to death, the Enoshima A.I. would have taken over everyone’s bodies.” There was something very un-Hajime-like about his gaze.
Gundham looked down. Was that supposed to make him feel better? He had done what had to be done and there was no use in trying to make it sound more noble than that.
“Well, what you need to know is that we are on Jabberwock Island, the real one, and it is to be our home for the foreseeable future. Compared to the virtual world, it leaves much to be desired. It’s been four months since the survivors woke up. About two months ago those who experienced virtual deaths started walking up in the order of those deaths. Naegi, that is, the Future Foundation, will require further assessment to see that your rehabilitation has been successful, but that can wait until you’ve regained some strength. How is your memory?”
“A piecemeal amalgamation of scenes from every conceivable circle of hell.”
“That’s how it’s been for us all. It will improve.”
“Are there others left to awaken?”
“Just one,” Hinata grimaced, glancing towards a pod on the other side of the room, “Just Komaeda.” That meant, besides Hinata and Sonia, Kuzuryu, Owari, Nanami, and Souda had survived the false reality.
“That does not make sense….”
Hinata abruptly stood and left the room.
Sonia was there again when Gundham woke up the next morning. She had sat at his side all evening, patiently crocheting while he stewed in silence. Hinata’s orders, no doubt. Just his luck. Now she read a book, concerning agriculture if the cover was anything to go by.
“Good morning, Gundham.”
“What about this cursed situation leads you to describe it as good?”
“Well, you are awake today,” Sonia went back to reading after a cursory glance.
Gundham found himself at a loss for words. He sorely wished he had his Dark Devas to advise-comfort- him, but they were doubtless long dead. He felt a pang of loss he could not bear to dwell on.
“One thing will not be banished from the forefront of my mind,” Gundham announced suddenly. Sonia looked up again.
“Hinata informed me only Komaeda was left to awaken from the Neoworld. How did this come to be?”
Sonia frowned, “I am not sure it is best to discuss the subject outright. You should try to regain more of your own memories first.”
“I cannot stew here in darkness. I must seek a way to make sense of pandemonium,” Gundham had not meant to raise his voice. Sonia winced.
“The Chiaki in the simulation was not the real Chiaki. Do you remember that?”
Gundham tried to concentrate. Something told him it was related to their descent to despair in the first place. But it was just out of reach.
“I believe... something is missing. What is it that happened after my death?”
Sonia closed her eyes. She seemed hesitant to talk. It occurred to Gundham that there might be things Sonia did not want to discuss herself. She had clearly suffered additional misfortunes after his departure.
“Pay no mind to my-”
“Chiaki was already dead!” Sonia blurted out, “We had to watch her murder! We couldn’t do anything about it!”
The images came flooding back. The blood, everywhere. His own helplessness. He felt his breathing quicken.
The scrapping of Sonia’s chair as she came closer to him kept him from falling too far.
“I’m sorry,” she tripped over her words, “I shouldn’t have- it was too much. I’m sorry.” her hands hovered over him.
“It was only the reality I requested. It is best I come to terms with it as soon as possible.”
Sonia did not look convinced but did not press the matter. That was what had gotten them there in the first place. She sank back into her chair. They sat in silence again for some minutes.
Gundham could only try to keep breathing and let his memories play out. He could not process them or analyze them, it was too much. He had done horrible things, he knew. And horrible things had happened to him. In a place he was supposed to be safe. A place where he had finally felt like he might be part of a group. Where he had found Sonia.
“So Komaeda killed the imposer Nanami?” he asked finally, desperate to think about anything else.
“No. He used his ultimate luck to trick her into killing him by throwing a fire grenade he had secretly filled with poison gas-”
“From the final dead room.”
“Yes. It really was only a murder because of the rules implemented by the evil bear,” Sonia huffed, “who was rather selective about enforcing them.”
So his had not been the most complicated plot after all. Perhaps Nidai had been the wrong target. Despite the low odds, he had nonetheless hoped the suffering would end after the funhouse.
“I guess there’s nothing for it now,” Sonia fished around in her bag and pulled out a thin binder.
“Our memories have been slow to come back, and unclear or incomplete. We put this together to help make sense of things. I wanted to let you rest more, but I am doing poorly at it.”
Gundham reluctantly reached out for the document. He did not think it would be pleasant.
He was correct.
Gundham was staring at the ceiling, still clutching the closed binder. Its knowledge had been grim enough without his classmates’ tear stains covering the pages.
Sonia cleared her throat, “Nekomaru wants to see you as soon as you feel up to it.”
Of course. Nidai deserved that much. Gundham felt his crime all the more foolish knowing none of it had been real.
“I will receive him whenever he likes,” his voice still felt hoarse from disuse.
He could sense Sonia’s grimace, “Perhaps after you’ve had something to eat, then.”
“I suppose I must attempt to imbibe some sustenance else I cause further calamity.”
He managed a few bland crackers while Sonia conferred with Tsumiki again. It almost felt wrong to eat. He saw the timid one look over her shoulder anxiously as she left.
Nidai was entirely too forgiving. He laughed (loudly) after every other sentence, recalling his own (virtual) murder as if it were an old wrestling match. Owari was more wary towards Gundham at first, but after a time it appeared he had shown an adequate amount of remorse and contrition and she returned to her boisterous self. It seemed she and Sonia had spent a lot of time in something she termed “Baby Gangsta’s Grief Club” to help them through their ordeal.
This only reinforced Gundham’s guilt. He had chosen the person he found to be a worthy opponent, who might understand his reasons, not thinking about the extent of the emotional toll Nidai’s death would cause on the survivors. He glanced at Sonia, who was nodding in agreement with Owari.
Nidai went on to describe his plans for improving the physical condition of their former classmates. Gundham foresaw a plethora of early morning workouts in his future, as he would not be in any position to refuse the manager’s help. It was part of his penance, he supposed, that Nidai thought they were now best of friends. He could not say it was undeserved.
“Mikan says I should be able to start some light exercise any day now,” Nidai continued.
“That is most wonderful,” Sonia pressed her hands together.
“Yeah! We’re pumped to get going! Training on my own just hasn’t been the same!”
“Congratulations,” Gundham offered.
“Don’t worry, we’ll get you up to speed too,” Nidai clapped him on the back. Why was he the one being comforted? Also, he hated to admit it, but even that restrained touch hurt.
“I am sure your master plan for promoting the recovery of our compatriots will be most effective,” Gundham mustered a response. Nidai and Owari looked at Sonia.
Sonia smiled disarmingly, “Gundham appreciates your encouragement but does not yet feel worthy of it. Never fear, I am sure this is temporary!”
Gundham tried to slide down further into the bed.
“Hmm,” Nidai replied, for once contemplative, “Look, Tanaka, we have a lot of shit to deal with, so we can cross this shit off the list, ok? In fact, I’m grateful to you. I don’t think I had it in me to start a plot like that, but I was happy to help.” Not that Gundham had given him much of a chance to think about it.
“Couldn’t have let Akane starve to death, even virtually, now, could we?” Nidai continued. He patted Owari on the shoulder as she grumbled. Gundham wondered if his bravado was for her benefit.
“What an attitude,” Owari complained, “Well, nothing a few workouts can’t fix!”
Nidai’s booming laughed echoed through the room once again, “Of course. I’ll see you outside, soon, Tanaka! Perhaps even for a rematch!”
“Absolutely not!” Sonia and Owari shouted in unison.
Nidai only laughed harder.
Gundham’s frown deepened.