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The first thing Superman knew for an absolute fact about Batman, is that he adored his son more than anything in the world.
The second fact he learned is the kid had Batman wrapped around his finger.
“But B! The stake out isn't over and you guys are still out and you need me!,” the brightly colored child whined.
Clark could tell Batman was close to breaking, the Gotham accent slipping more and more into his speech, “Robin your curfew is eleven for a reason, you need to rest or you're going to stay a little bird forever.”
Robin crosses his arms, giving the most adorable glare, “I'm part of the mission.”
“What if Superman flies you back to the cave, hmm? You love flying with Superman,” Bruce bargains, but Robin is determined, “I wanna stay here.”
Bruce leans his head back, taking a calming breath, “Chum, You have to go to bed, that's final.”
Oh he brought out the stern voice, here it comes.
Clark peeks over Batman's shoulder subtly and sure enough: the teary eyes, the red cheeks, the little lip wobble. This kid knew how to play him.
“Please B?”
Batman shoulders droop ever so slightly, “Fine, but you're taking the blame from Agent A, you hear me? This was your idea!,” and with that he holds a pinkie out to the no longer sniffling child.
Robin forgoes the pinkie and jumps on to Batman hugging his neck, “Thanks B!”
Twenty minutes later Robin is snoozing against Batman's chest wrapped in the hero's heavy black cape, “Not a word.”
Clark fully soaked in the image of his grumpy best friend tucking the cape further around his little bird, protected from the sound and smog of the city around him; something so soft he would never jeopardize the relationship that let him see the man so unguarded.
Clark still couldn't help himself and coughs, “Softy.”
+++
It was late, or early depending on how you looked at it, Clark stretched standing up as he, Bruce and Diana finally put a pin into the case they were working.
They were the last left in mount justice, enjoying a rare calm moment, speaking in soft voices before they would split off to their civilian lives.
A buzzing of Bruce's phone caught their attention, the man furrowed his brow, “I have to take this, it's my kids.”
Clark immediately perked up, he loves Bruce's kids. Diana eyes his sudden movement and he lets the joy seep out of his eyes.
She'd never seen Bruce interact with his kids.
“Is everything alright,” Bruce asks first, ever a worry wart, “I- well, Of course I'm going to assu- Dick woul-,”
Clark and Diana both try to hide their giggles easily hearing both sides of the conversation and Dick bulldozing over his father
Bruce drops his head to his hand rubbing his temples, “Chum, please just tell me why you called.”
‘Jay and I woke up craving brunch and Alfie went all out so you need to come home and help us,’ Dick says with another young voice shouting from the background, ‘and bring wonder woman!’
‘Oh! And uncle Clark! Please B? You've kept me from my dear sweet uncle for so long,’ Dick cheerily begs.
Lies, he saw them last month when Bruce asked him to babysit so he could go to a gala.
Bruce pauses, not quite tense but thinking, “you didn't wake up craving brunch.”
Dick gives a dramatic gasp while Jason cackles, “Father! Are you suggesting that we planned a brunch on a morning we knew you would be free to force you to interact with your Children and friends in a non-work setting?,’ and Clark can hear the grin in his voice, ‘why that would be down right manipulative.’
Clark scoffs, earning an amused look from Diana. That sounds exactly the manipulative little scheme Dick would come up with and he knew Bruce wouldn't pass on an opportunity for the boys to interact more peacefully either.
“I swear normal kids don't force play dates on their parents,” Bruce grumbles.
‘Awe, we love you too, B. Anyway, be home in fifteen or I'm drinking all the mimosas myself, Kay byyeeee,’ Dick says, ignoring Bruce's demand that he not drink any mimosas as he was underage, and hangs up.
Bruce is silent for a moment, finally taking a deep breath, “Would you like to come to the manor for breakfast, my children have something planned.”
“There's nothing that could keep me away from brunch with your kids,” Clark says grinning from ear to ear.
Diana matches his enthusiasm, “I am terribly excited to meet your brood, they seem like a lively pair.”
Bruce gives a small smile, “that they are.”
--
“B! You made it! And five minutes to spare,” Dick shouts, twirling a champagne flute in his hand.
Bruce stands in the entrance of the dinning room dressed in a casual button down and pants flanked on either side by a similarly dressed down Clark and Diana, “Children, we have guests and I expect you to act at least somewhat civilized.”
His request fell on deaf ears as Jason lept from his seat shouting, “Holy shit, Bruce you actually do have friends!”
Bruce gave his youngest a scathing look, “Wonder woman is literally your favorite hero. Stop acting like you thought I made her up.”
Diana gave a surprised pleased smile, she'd never seen Bruce like this. Clark grinned at her, it was just getting started.
Jason rolled his eyes, “Oh no doubt,” he addressed the next part to Diana, “Wonder Woman you're amazing, truly the coolest hero out there,” then back to Bruce, “I just didn't think you had the social skills to make friends.”
Dick takes a sip of the more prosecco than orange juice drink in his hand, shrugging, “They only stuck around for me.”
Bruce comes padding into the dining room, taking the glass from Dicks hand as he walks past,“You are not old enough to drink,” Bruce then drains the glass himself, “ Have either of you ever considered maybe it's just you two that make me lame? I'm still the top bachelor in the country.”
Dick snorts, “Yeah and you got what two good years left, old man?”
Diana tries to hide a laugh behind her hand, but Dick shoots her a wink.
“Good thing you've got money to fall back on,” Jason says around a piece of bacon.
Bruce drops himself into his seat, “I am not that old you ungrateful demons.”
Alfred enters from the kitchen, replacing the empty champagne flute in Bruce's hand with a cup of coffee, “Good Morning Master Bruce. Ah, Mr. Kent, Ms. Prince, do have a seat. Can I get you anything; tea, coffee, mimosa?”
Clark and Diana make their way to the open seats; Bruce at the head of the table, Dick to his right and Jason next to his brother. Clark to Bruce's left with Diana next to him.
The table was laden with fruits, pastries, eggs, and meats. More than Clark could ever imagine making for himself, much less on the whims of two mischievous children.
“I would love a coffee, this looks fantastic Alfred. Thank you for having us,” Clark says, as polite as his mother always taught him to be.
“Yes, this is really a sight, do you do this often?,” Diana asks.
Alfred accepts their thanks, “Very seldom, breakfast is a rare occurrence in the manor, what with this nocturnal bunch.”
Diana gives a delighted chuckle, “Oh, I can imagine.”
Clark and Diana spend the rest of the meal listening happily to the back and forth banter of Bruce and his children, soaking in this carefree youthful side of their friend.
+++
No one was paying attention to the meeting any longer. Not since the very aggravated masked young man had appeared on the main screen
Clark really wasn't sure how many of them were paying attention before to be fair.
They had all started throwing questions at the man, and his security clearance since he'd bypassed everything and put his call through, but they were ignored as he growled out, “Batman.”
Batman froze oh so slightly before fixing himself into an air of unconcernedness, turning to the screen, “Nightwing, I trust that this is an emergency?”
“Did you give Robin back his internet privileges?”
Clark hid his smile as he took in the confused looks around the table, He and Diana were still the only two members to have met him as Bruce's first son and sidekick.
Although he could see others recognizing him as Nightwing, the young leader to many of their sidekicks.
Batman's voice came out flat but with a pause, “...Yes, it was vital to the mission.”
Oh? Bruce was hiding something.
Clark watched the scowl settle deeper into his nephew's brow, “Explain to me exactly how it was vital to the mission.”
Clark heard as Hal leaned over to Barry, “who the fuck is this kid?”
Bruce's next words came out in a language he wasn't familiar with, but had heard the bats speak before.
“Is that Romani?,” Dinah asks.
They were ignored as on screen Dick was getting more and more worked up, hands waving and voice giving away his aggravation even if they didn't understand his words.
Bruce continued to answer back in the same language, tone flat and no obvious indication that the argument was affecting him.
Clark didn't want to be worried. He's watched them bicker like this for as long as he can remember, but even he was haunted by the second Robin's voice that should've been popping in with his own colorful commentary.
Bruce tells him their relationship was healing, scared that they had lost the easy joy the family had. Clark wouldn't say it out loud but, he worried too, overhearing conversations that would've been playful teasing quickly turn to cutting words time after time had saddened him.
He watched for the tension in Bruce's shoulders, ready to step in before it got bad.
Barry looks over to Dinah, “My Romani is a little rusty, so tell me I'm wrong in thinking this guy is Batman's..co-parent?”
Clark choked on air.
Dick on screen snapped his attention from Bruce to the rest of the room, easily slipping back to english, “Co- parent? Fat chance! The ‘Co’ would imply that he respects when I tell him the kid is grounded instead of giving in the moment he gets hit with puppy dog eyes.”
Clark knows that this is a fragile moment, anything regarding the care of the newest Robin was.
He readies himself to end the call.
And then Batman breaks.
His Gotham accent wraps around his words as he mirrors his son's dramatics, “Oh come off it, Chum.”
Clark would absolutely be rewatching the footage of the league members' faces later, the amount of dropped jaws and shock would carry him for years.
“Ex-fucking-scuuuse me!?,” Dick gasps and Clark as never been happier to hear his scheming victory. Dick must've been more teasing than he'd let on when they'd switched languages.
Bruce crosses his arms loosely, “as if I didn't ground you for worse and immediately cave when you started sniffling.”
“Holy shit, Spooky has a kid?,” Hal says to Barry.
Barry chuckles, “Sounds like he's got two.”
“Worse!?,” Dick half shouts on screen, “He Hacked the Pentagon, B.”
Tim did what? Clark shared a wide eyed look with Diana, their nephews never ceased to surprise them.
Bruce ignores the questions being asked by his coworkers, shouting back, “Too get proof of mothman for his crush! It's innocent!”
Clark heard multiple people muttering ‘innocent’ with disbelief.
Not Clark, he already knew Bruce was a pushover to his kids.
Despite not being able to see his eyes through the white out lens, Clark knew Dick was rolling them, “B, you are not that gullible.”
Bruce smirked, “You're right I'm not, Say what happened to my Porsche that you took out around four years ago, hmm? I was thinking of taking it for the next Gala.”
Dick froze, “I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about. How about we finish this later?”
“That sounds great, love you, Chum, I'll see you at dinner,” Bruce sends him off with the same smirk.
“Yeah whatever…love you, too…asshole,” Dick mumbles before cutting the call.
The league seemed too stunned to speak as Batman slumped into his chair.
Clark thinks how nice it is seeing the two banter like that again, because even if no one else saw it, he and Diana could see the laughter still shaking Bruce's shoulders as he ran back over how Dick dragged him for letting Tim off so easily in his head.
Hal breaks the silence, “soooo…”
Bruce runs his hands over his masked face, hiding his still present smile, “Don't have kids.”
+++
It had taken the Justice League some time to adjust to all the members of Batman's flock.
They were various and all a special kind of scary weird.
More peculiar was the different facets the birds and bats brought out in the resident dark and spooky.
Not that the leaguers hadn't know that Batman could joke around and have fun; the man's altr ego was Brucie Wayne for fucks sake, to say the man could make fun of himself was an understatement.
Watching him be softer, more compassionate when working with his kids was eye opening.
But none of the relationships surprised them as much as Bruce and his eldest sons when it was just the three of them.
This was a Bruce none of them had many experiences with, well besides Clark and Diana.
Something wonderful happened when it was just the oldest three bats. They slipped into a nearly forgotten dynamic; throwing jabs over long forgiven and hard fought wounds and pulling out adolescent like insults that could only be thrown between a late twenties still getting his shit together man to adept at handling his teenage sons relentless bullying.
And yeah If pushed the league would all admit to maybe staying at the meeting a bit later when all three of them showed up.
And okay Clark wasn't watching, but he couldn't help if his eyes scanned over to the bats holed up in their usual post meeting corner.
The area was set up with a love seat, couch and armchair all in a soft velvety gray. A metal coffee table sat atop a plush charcoal rug placed in the center of the seats. There were various colored beanbags hidden somewhere for when all the bats were in. The blankets and pillows in all of their colors scattered the area marking it more as their living room than a corner in a hero's space station.
Dick stretched out across the couch with his feet in Jason's lap. They had both unmasked as Jason and Bruce went over a case that intersected both of their territories.
It filled Clark with a sense of warmth to see one of his oldest friends finding a joy and comfort he'd feared was lost.
Dick nudge Jason with his foot glancing his eyes over to Bruce returning from the kitchen with a mug of tea. They shared a half second look and Clark knew they were up to something.
Because Bruce had asked them both if they wanted tea before he went to the kitchen and both had said no.
Clark tapped Diana on the arm, dragging her attention to the brewing scene.
Bruce lowered himself into his preferred armchair next to the couch and was not even fully sat when Dick rolled onto his toes in Jason's lap and snatched the mug, returning to his relaxed pose without spilling the tea.
"I swear to god they arent human," Hal muttered as Dicks sudden movement had draw all their attention.
Dick adjusted himself to a more up-right position holding the mug with both hands proudly displaying the #1 Dad wrote across it to Bruce, "Oh thank you B, that's so considerate of you to make me a tea in My mug.”
And they all heard how he stressed 'my'.
Bruce doesnt even look suprised, "You think you're soooo funny."
"No," Dick says taking a loud slurp from the mug earning him looks from Jason and Bruce. "I think that Damien specifically re-gifted me this mug after I had to pick him up from school again today."
Clark is sure they're all holding their breath.
Bruce fixes him with an unimpressed stare, "Sometimes I question if you really are somehow genetically related because he absolutely got his drama queen theatrics from you."
Jason barked out a laugh, "Bruce you cannot say that while still in your furry suit."
"Please if anything they learned constraint from me," Dick said, and glared at Jason's head snapping in his direction, doubt clear on his face.
Bruce laughed, "You taught them constraint!? You-”
Clark hears Barry rushing in and out of the room under all three of the men's yelling, as he gathers the remaining leaguers from where they'd strayed in the base, a bowl of popcorn in his hands, "ooohh this is gonna be a good one."
The squabbling comes to a stop as Bruce runs his hands over his face, "Okay fine, you have Damian-,"
"Damn right," Dick says slamming the mug on to the coffee table next to them, carefully not to damage the case reports spread over the table, "and Steph! Don't even fucking try me, all it would take is one text and she'd let me adopt her!"
Bruce rolls his eyes ,"...I can't argue that..but I still have you, Jason and Tim. I win, I raised the best Robin's."
Clark shook his head, how did they even get here?
Jason waved his hand between them, half listening and half reading a file, "quick question... I died?,"
"That's really more of a statement, but okay," Bruce's says.
Jason flips him off, tossing the file on to the table with the rest, "Okay well I think it should be noted in the points if you had to bury a Robin."
Dick nods, "Yeah, like you should definitely lose points for any Robin's that didn't make it through puberty."
"Didn't Steph also...," Jason trails off.
"Who's side are you one, Littlewing?," Dick asks with a light kick to his ribs.
"The dead Robins club?"
Bruce and Dick share a look and both nod, "okay those cancel out."
Clark shakes his head, if he weren't used to the trios bickering he'd swear they'd crossed a line.
Jason rolls his eyes with mock aggravation, "Wow, big surprise.”
Dick jabs him again, “Come on we've all died, it's lost its umph," before returning to Bruce, "Well you fired me as Robin, Me! From my own Mother given name! I didn't fire any Robin's."
Jason coughing not so discreetly into his chest, "Timmers."
"Do you wanna sleep at a safe house tonight?," Dick asks him.
Jason shrugs, "I'm just saying, you can beat him in a fair fight, babe."
"What fair fight? You've already lost," Bruce says with the confidence only he could, throwing his hand up to count, "My three? The Golden boy, The Joyful Robin and The Smartest Robin."
Dick and Jason immediately start booing him and Dick groans, "Is your memory already failing you?"
"Save it for a Brucie speech, ain't no one here buyin it, " Jason adds.
Bruce keeps a calm face through their whines, leaning further into his chair, "Keep booing, I'm right."
Dick sits up, removing his legs from Jason's lap so he can sit crisscrossed, "okay, first off, ‘golden boy’? I was the Feral Robin! Flash has a scar from where I lost a tooth biting his leg!
Flash laughs, mouth full of kernels, “Sure do! You were a terrifying child!”
“Thank you!”
Bruce waves him off, "You were defending yourself against an unknown entity, even at nine we had already honed your elite battle sense."
Dick fixed him with an unimpressed look, “and that Gala when I was what ten or eleven and used the chandeliers as a trapeze until one of them snapped and you nearly didn't catch me?”
“They really should've had those secured better, just think if it had fallen on a civilian,” Bruce rationalizes.
“When I put rat poison in penguins tea?”
“He had taken an insult well out of line and we both know you were aware that rat poison isn't fatal to humans,” Bruce again rationalizes.
Oliver's eyes widened, “I'm sorry he did what?,” Clark snorted as the bats ignored him.
“And when I used you as a human shield every time we fought condiment king, including last week and subsequently taught every Robin since to do the same?,” Dick asks.
“You trusted me enough to keep you safe against an enemy and were protective enough to teach all the little birds where to hide,” Bruce brings a hand to his chest, fixing his face to read as sincerity but eyes full of humor, “And I'm touched that even as a grown man under your mantel you still know you can rely on me to protect you.”
“You are so full of shit,” Dick says incredulously.
“‘it is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness’,” Jason smiles at him tenderly, hoping the prose would soften his next statement, “They don't even wanna admit that you're still a feral menace Bluebird, you bit a guy just last week.”
“It works!,” Dick defends while Bruce shrugs in agreement.
Jason ignores Dicks glare, addressing Bruce “And I distinctly remember a solid month of you making me learn the 'cackle' because you loved how it made thugs piss themselves.”
Bruce is unfazed in his defense, “It is an effective fear technique and don't even try to pretend that Steph and Damien didn't inherit that shit from him. I thought I was alone in the cave until Damien giggle at his book and made me jump outta my fucking skin.”
Clark saw as all of them tried to hide their laughter and surprise; the thought of Bruce, of Batman, being startled by his child was beyond amusing.
“See? My Robins good enough to scare the bat,” Dick says grinning, “You willing to admit any of us snuck up on ya?”
Jason snorts, “Admit it, You threw that bagel at me because I scared you and not as a 'tactical response,’” he says with air quotes.
Oh please, Clark thinks, please admit that he jumped so hard he threw a bagel. It would make Clark's year.
Bruce doesn't respond and his silence is admittance enough.
Jason shouts and high fives with Dick. Clark shares a glance with Diana, sure that they would be talking about that later.
Bruce does what he always does when backed into a corner, he deflects, “....so that's what you're bringing to the table? Me overlooking my child swaddled in a blanket under a desk in a dark cave? A child that was supposed to be with his baba. Say, why was it that you failed to get him that night?”
From Jason's bitten grin and Dicks flushed face as he nearly growls at Bruce, “I will come across this table so fast, do not tempt me,”
Clark doesn't care to guess at the why.
Bruce throws his hands up in mock surrender and a smug voice, “I'm just saying my birds look really good next to The shortest Robin run & Sword Robin.”
Dick scoffs, showing an overdone outrage in his entire body that was clearly for show, “Shortest run!? Check your facts B, because I'm pretty sure you mean the Robin I trained so well she was able to fly on her own after three months!,” Dick gets more worked up, leaning over Jason to jab a finger at Bruce, “The quickest to fly the nest? Damn sounds like some pretty good parenting to me.”
“…no comment on the sword Robin?,” Jason dares to ask from his dangerous position under Dick.
Dick deflates back onto the couch, running a hand over his face, in a manner so similar to his father,“we're working on it, he hasn't stabbed anybody this week.”
Bruce bites back a chuckle hiding his smile behind his fist, “Chum, it's Monday.”
Dick inhales deeply to calm himself, “And he hasn't attempted to injure Tim at all. Progress.”
“Progress?,” Jason asks. Dick kicks him again.
“Should we even discuss the replacement?,” Jason asks, head falling back against the couch, “I mean there's a reason we have a group chat called 'keep Tim busy enough he doesn't have time for evil'.”
Bruce furrows his brow looking at his second eldest, “Jaylad, you are the last person that gets to talk about keeping Tim out of the rogue gallery, you are his main accomplice.”
Dick tilts his head in thought, “I'd also argue, Tim adopted Bruce so he doesn't even count.”
Bruce sits up, hands gripping the armrests, “Hey! He may have found me in a dumpster but I kept him from taking up residence once I left.”
“That's what your going with?,” Jason laughs.
Bruce leans back, adopting a sullen visage, “it was a very rough time, I had just lost my son, you see.”
Jason turns to glare at him, “Oh shove it, you can't not count dead Robins and use me as an excuse.”
Clark had to agree with him.
“Just admit defeat, You raised the two Robins most likely to go rogue,” Dick says, drawing them back to the topic, “that's a loss in my book.”
“They're very high spirited boys.”
Jason glances over at Dick and grins, “Only one of Dickiebirds ended up dating in the family.”
“Oh yeah!,” Dick perks up, swishing his hand between the two of them, “two of your kids ended up married and could because you never actually adopted me.”
Bruce was jumping up again, fire in his eyes, “You wanna go there? I have the papers in my belt right now, you are not too old to be adopted! You just won't let me!”
That was true, Clark had seen this argument over the years and knew for a fact Bruce did carry the papers on him. He wasn't sure if it was heart warming or weird.
“It's the principle!,” Dick shouts back.
“I mean also because I'm still legally dead and a crime lord. Our license was not filed in the most legal of channels,” Jason adds.
Dick takes it in stride, “Oh look two of yours committing crimes together.”
Bruce leans back into his chair, crossing his legs and looking like the definition of unbothered, “Yeah you all did every single one of those things and more, and through my undying love and outstanding parenting skills, my first became the prominent leader for a generation of new heros, my second took over the lions share of organized crime in fucking Gotham before he could legally drink and my third has absolutely and indisputably taken my crown as world's best detective.
“Oh so YOU can be proud of my crimes but I can't?,” Jason questions, sneering at Bruce.
Dick crosses his arms leaning back, “You're really exaggerating there, B.”
“World's best detective my ass,” Jason grumbles, “he doesn't even know where his spleen is.”
Diana looks at Clark with curiosity, he nods, he'd tell her later.
Bruce sinks further into his chair grinning, “face it, my chaos and bullshit turned you all into the most capable heroes the world has seen.”
Dick rolled his eyes, thinking up his next argument.
Clark could see when the light bulb went off.
“I mean I guess we'd have to cut it as a draw,” Dick starts, so innocently despite the smug look on his face, talking over Bruce's attempt to butt in, “except my baby bird, my sweet little Damian is gonna be a doctor and all your kids are capes.”
Clark has to bite his tongue to not laugh. Yeah, having your kid choose the civilian life was definitely a win.
Jason cackles, “He's got you there, old man.”
Bruce doesn't look shaken in the slightest, waiting for the boys to stop laughing, “yeah? Well my kids still willingly hang out with me, even though they're grown and it's one of their only free nights this week.”
The room erupts as the league fails at holding back their laughter, Dick and Jason can be heard over it booing their father, Bruce takes their displeasure with a face splitting grin.