Chapter Text
SOLLUX: wake up diip2hiit.
SOLLUX: iit2 the fiir2t cla22 of the 2eme2ter there2 no way youre already thii2 tiired.
Karkat snaps awake, his head bobbing up from his chest as his roommate, Sollux, elbows him in the shoulder. Karkat flips him off, jabbing his own elbow hard into Sollux’s side. That lazy douche can suck it; he barely ever even comes to class anyway. Karkat glances up at the blackboard and, shit, he must have been out for a while. The words on the board are unfamiliar and the professor is prattling on about something called hash tables?
He had done pretty well in these classes last semester, but it wasn’t quite the cakewalk he had expected. He liked the way it sounded, to think of himself as a “hacker.” It just seemed badass. And when he told people at home he was going off to school to study computer science, they always reacted as if it was so smart, so pragmatic, like he was doing something important with his life. But with his previous programming knowledge coming mainly from movies, he was quickly hit with a dose of reality: this programming shit was boring as fuck.
It didn’t help that his roommate Sollux was basically this year’s computer science boy genius. The noise of Sollux’s keyboard was a constant reminder of Karkat’s inferiority both in ability and, unfortunately, passion for the subject. It seemed like Sollux already knew everything without even needing to come to lecture and, omitting his bafflingly successful recent forays into casual sex, the dude barely left home. Case in point, Karkat glances over to Sollux’s laptop to see him texting some girl he met at a party over the weekend.
Glancing at the clock, Karkat notes there’s only five minutes left of class, so he lets his mind wander. Unfortunately, the hopeless romantic part of his brain had kicked into overdrive recently. With new classes, new people, group projects… the meet cutes practically wrote themselves. Every time he found his mind wandering off into bullshit romantic fantasyland he had to bludgeon it back to reality. If last semester was anything to go by, he should not be letting himself get his hopes up for this.
He’s suddenly jolted out of the daydream by the mass exodus of students from the classroom. Sollux smacks him lightly on the head with a notebook.
SOLLUX: what2 up kk? lecture was two hard two keep up with?
KARKAT: WHAT ARE YOU EVEN INSINUATING, YOU GIANT IGNORAMUS? IT’S THE FIRST CLASS OF THE SEMESTER, SO OF COURSE I ALREADY KNEW ALL THIS SHIT. I WAS JUST SO FUCKING BORED.
KARKAT: INTRO LEVEL CLASSES LIKE THIS DONT EVEN COME CLOSE TO BEING INTELLECTUALLY STIMULATING TO A MASTER PROGRAMMER LIKE ME, SO I’M SAVING MY ENERGY FOR WHEN I’LL ACTUALLY FUCKING NEED IT.
KARKAT: BESIDES, AT LEAST I WASN'T SQUANDERING MY TUITION MONEY SIMPING ASS OVER HEELS FOR SOME CHICK THAT’S COMPLETELY OUT OF MY LEAGUE.
SOLLUX: whatever you 2ay KK. iim gonna need the room alone toniight at 9 cause feferii2 comiing over.
KARKAT: WHAT.
KARKAT: HOW IS IT EVEN REMOTELY POSSIBLE THAT A COMPLETE NERD LIKE YOU, WHO NEVER EVEN LEAVES OUR DORM, IS FUCKING ONE OF THE MOST POPULAR GIRLS IN SCHOOL? AND I DONT EVEN HAVE A CRUSH YET? THIS MAKES NO GODDAMN SENSE. IF IT’S SO FUCKING EASY TO FIND SOMEONE TO HOOK UP WITH HERE THAT EVEN AN ASSWIPE LIKE YOU HAS MANAGED IT, WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT ME?
SOLLUX: 2ucks two 2uck ii guess. anyway2 2ee you later. dont even thiink about comiing back to the dorm before 11.
If it wasn’t enough for him to be jealous of Sollux academically, now he’s got a date/hookup/who even knows and Karkat’s been sexiled from the dorm room for the evening.
****
Karkat shows up to his next class a few minutes early, sliding into the front row. It’s technically a gen-ed class, philosophy, but Karkat’s always dreamed of writing a romance novel one day, and this is as good a chance as any to get some writing practice in.
About ten minutes into the lecture, the classroom door swings open suddenly, distracting Karkat from his note taking. Before he can even look over, the latecomer is striding past his desk and slouching down in the only open seat, right next to Karkat. Out of the corner of his eye, Karkat can see this kid is a classic bro type: floppy platinum blonde hair smooshed down under a baseball cap, a ridiculously bright red hoodie, and, what a tool, he’s wearing sunglasses indoors. The professor pauses slightly, acknowledging the new student with a nod before commenting that from now on attendance is mandatory and students should strive to be on time in order to not be penalized. The new kid holds up finger guns at the professor.
DAVE: you got it prof
Karkat rolls his eyes, focusing back on the board, as this “cool kid” starts messing around in his backpack. He pulls out a stack of crumpled, disorganized loose leaf sheets of paper and shuffles them around, seemingly trying to find a blank one to take notes on. Karkat gives him a pointed glare and, noticing, the kid holds up his hands in mock surrender for a second before carding through his papers slightly more quietly. Karkat tries to push the smug expression out of his mind as he pointedly returns his eyes to the blackboard.
For the rest of the class, Karkat is completely immersed in the lecture, even feeling excited to get started on the reading later today. Once the class ends and Karkat starts packing up his things, he feels a tap on his shoulder.
KARKAT: HEY, DON’T TOUCH ME FUCKFACE.
He snaps at the kid in the red hoodie, probably a little too loud, drawing some attention. For a second he thinks he sees a flash of surprise and panic across his face, before it reverts back to neutral.
DAVE: woah dude calm your tits
DAVE: i was just gonna ask if i can snap a pic of your notes from the start of the class
DAVE: i missed the first few minutes
KARKAT: YEAH, WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULD BE GOING BACK TO KINDERGARTEN IF YOU’RE HAVING SO MUCH TROUBLE READING A CLOCK.
Karkat makes a point of shoving his notebook into his backpack and storms out of the classroom, shooting a glare over his shoulder.
****
Karkat steps outside, letting out a shiver and hugging a bulky grey coat tight around his shoulders and making a beeline to the bookstore. He would’ve actually enjoyed the class if it wasn’t for that giant insufferable prick wiping his ass all over it. He worked really hard to get into this school, and assumed this would be true of the rest of the students here. So it’s mystifying how there are always idiots who act like they just waltzed into college, seemingly both unable and unwilling to put up even a pretense of trying to be a halfway decent student.
Karkat doesn’t even want to think of this guy anymore. He just wants to think about how exciting the reading looked, how cozy he’ll be curled up in an armchair in the library, breathing in that new book smell later today, but he keeps getting derailed by the massive fucking shitstain this loser left over the entire memory of the class. And of course he made Karkat lose his shit in the first fucking class. Now everyone probably thinks he’s an overdramatic asshole for yelling at the cute cool kid. Well, generically cute maybe, but certainly not Karkat’s type. There’s no way he would’ve drawn so much attention to himself if it wasn’t for the obvious frat bro getup. But the rest of the class clearly fell for the facade; Karkat saw the way the gazes of other students lingered in his direction throughout the class. Hell, the attention slut probably did that whole walking in late stunt on purpose, just to get the whole class looking at him. Well, Karkat’s not going to give him that kind of attention anymore. He’s not going to let this asshole ruin the class for him. He’s not going to waste any more of his brainpower on lazy, stupid, immature bastards when he has so many better things to do with his time.
He painstakingly pushes all thoughts out of his mind for the next two minutes. Then he pulls out his phone.
carcinoGeneticist [CG] began pestering twinArmegeddons [TA]
CG: CONGRATULATIONS, YOU ARE NOW ONLY THE SECOND MOST ANNOYING PERSON I KNOW.
CG: YOU’RE NEVER GOING TO BELIEVE THE SHIT I JUST HAD TO PUT UP WITH.