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Merritt hates that he didn’t die. Not because he wants to anymore, but because that one confession has changed how the other Horsemen view him. He’s not just some drunk kook who can hypnotize people. Now he’s a sad alcoholic who almost drank himself to the grave.
But.
It does feel nice, sometimes, to know that they care. That they like him enough to want to keep him alive. And he does know that they care. That they worry.
It’s in the way Jack approaches him more often, either showing a card trick he’s seen a thousand times or asking to learn a mentalist skill already known, as though ten years haven’t passed and they’re still teaching each other their talents.
It’s in the way Daniel hovers in the room, making sure he’s not alone for long, eyes glancing at him too often. Some days he must let something slip on his face or in his words and Daniel will goad him into a bet or a petty argument or ask him for an opinion on their next trick that he knows won’t be used.
It’s in the way Henley sits and chats with him whenever she catches him nursing a drink, eyes sharp but voice warm. She talks about her kids, the heist, the vague planning the girls have for their own upcoming show, whatever Daniel has done to piss her off this time. The deeper in his drink he is, the more she tries to pull him into the conversation.
It’s in the way Lula doesn’t do tricks involving her death anymore. Severed limbs are still fair game, but she veers away from chopped heads now, and focuses more heavily on the makeup and acting side of her skills.
And, damn it all, it actually works. His humoring of Jack becomes actual lessons in more advanced mentalist skills, and he asks to try practicing card-throwing again. He seeks Daniel out first and either sits in silence in the presence of his friend or starts his own bets and lighthearted arguments when he’s thinking too much. He grows more engaged in the conversations with Henley until he barely touches his drink. He gives Lula more ideas for her undercover acts, trying to find one she can’t do, and helps her prep the false limbs with fake blood.
Losing the Horsemen nearly killed him. But they’re also the ones keeping him alive.