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Summary
Lucifer's mood changes. Sam pushes him.
Series
- Part 10 of Post-Vacuum Calamity
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Bookmark Notes:
the feeling of disgust and guilt and tension is so *real*, and there's a sense of just visceral discomfort. also perfectly captures sam's drowning hopelessness, and his disconnect from the rest of his life. just separated, subtly but tangibly, from everything that makes him sam winchester.
sam's shame and self-loathing permeates these fics constantly all the twisted ways he convinces himself he wants it, it's his fault, he's not a victim.
the portrayal of relapsing!! the fear/certainty that your loved ones are going to hate you for it, see you as nothing but your sickness, the overwhelming guilt even as your body fights for more.
i have never felt more physically uneasy while reading anything. nausea-inducing experience. this is gutwrenching and an amazing psychological horror. my brain chemistry
may have been changed