Chapter Text
I couldn’t sleep, I just couldn't. Every time I tried to close my eyes, I saw Polites. His dead lifeless corpse. His eyes still open looking at me with fear. Pure shock. He wasn’t expecting a club to come down crushing his body. I was supposed to protect him. As a king, as Captain, as a friend…
No, No, NO! I will not think of that right now. I need to stay calm. For him, for my crew. So I can make it home to Penelope. I’m not going to sleep tonight. might as well join the night crew.
I heard out of the captain's cabin. I take a deep breath of the sea air. Making my yearn for the sea stronger. I wish I could just take off my necklace and jump into the water. Just let my fins feel the salty water. I shook off the feeling the best I could. “Hello captain, I thought you were going to sleep.” One of the crew says. “ I’m not really tired. So I decided to come up here.” I say. One of the crew, Elpenor, came up to me. “ Hey captain, are you ok?. I know, Polites was a close friend of yours.” He asks. I didn’t let it show, but I was taken aback by this question. “ I'm fine, no need to worry about it. I’m strong.” I say, smiling as best as I could. It seems harder than usual, but I still manage pretty well. I’ve been pretending to smile almost my whole life.
I headed out of the captain's cabin. I take a deep breath of the sea air. Making my yearn for the sea stronger. I wish I could just take off my necklace and jump into the water. Just let my fins feel the salty water. I shook off the feeling the best I could. “Hello captain, I thought you were going to sleep.” One of the crew says. “ I’m not really tired. So I decided to come up here.” I say. One of the crew, Elpenor, came up to me. “ Hey captain, are you ok?. I know, Polites was a close friend of yours.” He asks. I didn’t let it show, but I was taken aback by this question. “ I'm fine, no need to worry about it. I’m strong.” I say, smiling as best as I could. It seems harder than usual, but I still manage pretty well. I’ve been pretending to smile almost my whole life.
Because I have to be strong for my people. For everyone in my life. I think the last time I generally smiled like that was when Poiltes was still… No, that's not the time or place to think about that.
“Captian?” Elpenor says bring me back into reality. “ Ah, yea Elpenor.” I said to him, “ You don’t always have to stay strong for us. I’ve seen people like you. Always Hiding emotions for others. Never letting themselves truly feel.” He says. This made me a little mad. I told that this conversation has ended. He left me alone. Why did it make me so mad though? It wasn’t like he said something truly wrong. ‘Maybe because it's true’. I don’t understand why I feel so mad. it shouldn’t have affected me that much. It's just so stupid,I'm getting worked up over nothing. ’But is it truly nothing?’
I took some deep breaths and felt better for a while. I looked out at the sea and made a decision. “You all may sleep. I can watch the ship.” The crew were more than happy to get more sleep. And went to bed.
Finally all alone. I removed my necklace. My fins/ears move slightly. I smiled for the first time since the death of Polites. I looked at the water excitedly. But first I need to prepare. Firstly I need a way to get back on the boat. And a place to put my necklace so I don't have to climb up with all upper body strength. I would just need to put on his necklace and I’ll have legs again. So I started to prepare. I grabbed a ladder made out of rope. That is used to get crew who’ve fallen into the sea; I put it on the side of the ship. Then climbs slowly making sure not to make too much noise. When I reached the bottom, I put my necklace on the ladder. then go in to the water
It felt so nice. Like I hadn’t drunk any kind of liquids in years. I felt like I could actually sleep. I felt drowsy. I went under the boat. It was very nice. My eyelids felt heavy. Very actually. Before I knew it everything was faded in black.
“ Ody, you need to move on. Im ok please forget me” I voice says softly. “ I can’t, please come back.” I replied. “ I need you please, you're one of the few people I trust with my heart.” I feel hot tears sliding down my cheeks.
“Captain! Captain! Captain! Captain!” I awake, I’m under the boat. I hear the yells of my crew. “Sh!t.” I slowly swim towards the ladder. And grab my necklace. Then pause for a second. ‘ I don’t want to go back on the boat.’ There’s too many humans.’ I put my necklace on quickly. I look at my legs. ‘This doesn’t feel right. I miss my fins.’ I shake my head and swim up to the ladder.
I climb up onto the boat. Everyone's staring at me. All I feel are eyes. “ Captain! where were you.” Eurylochus says. His face filled with anger and worry. “ sorry I went swimming and I couldn’t hear you, I'm sorry.” I say. I start to sweat. I don’t think they can tell because of how wet I am. It's just I feel like everyone is watching me. Looking at me. Maybe they saw me. Or maybe they know and want to kill me. Because I’m a freak, neither human nor beast. Or maybe for food. Food is always low, who wouldn’t want to eat a human sized fish tail to devour.
“ Are you ok, Captain.” Eurylochus says, face full of concern. “Uh, yeah just a little out of it. Let’s just go, full speed ahead."