Chapter Text
October 16th, 2009, 2:36 PM
Spotted
(Photo attached: Charly, walking down 5th Avenue, his favorite Louis Vuitton sunglasses drawn, in a loose hoodie and some expensive sneakers, talking with somebody on the phone)
Carlos Alcaraz, more commonly known as Playboy Charly, is coming to St. Jude’s! My many trusted sources say his Daddy’s jet landed just yesterday morning in the Big Apple. Since his “mysterious” expulsion from LA's most prestigious private school Harvard-Westlake, the rumors around this little western party prince are plenty; more so, the questions desperately asking what’s our naughty boy done to get expelled mid-semester… But, after all, Daddy’s money can buy you everywhere… right, my fellow Upper East Siders? However, don’t get too excited girls – It'll only be a matter of time until he starts making things messy here, too...
xo xo GOSSIP GIRL
Mondays meant Student Council meetings at Constance Billard-St. Jude’s Private School.
Mondays usually also meant that Jannik Sinner contemplated what he’d done in his past life to deserve being around this many thickheaded, way too rich idiots that filled the hallways of the old brick building to the brink. As he sat down in the middle chair of the big, round, wooden table, other seats slowly being taken, he observed the people around him in the stuffy little room that the headmistress kindly offered for their meetings. Most of them didn’t stand out much, wearing the standard uniform, decorated with various personal accessories. But if you’d looked just a second longer, you’d notice the heavy, very expensive watches all of these young teenage boys wore comfortably on their wrists, and the girls, the girls, even if not fashionable at all, with luxury branded bags sitting detachedly next to them.
Jannik hadn’t known the majority of them while growing up in New York City. Sure, old and wealthy families such as the Sinners liked to stay in their own caste, never shying away from their own social circles; hence he knew some people around campus from early childhood days, having shared mutual playgrounds. But, at 14, after leaving his very small private boarding school in Northern Italy and attending St. Jude’s freshman year, he’d been shocked by just how many upper-class rich kids existed in Manhattan, let alone on the Upper East Side.
And he hated it. Hated everything that had to do with ridiculous money, fame, and mostly, gossip. The school's infamous information forum, “Gossip Girl”, had taken the whole school over in a rush unknown to mankind, with everyone sending tips and personal secrets to this site, only for the purpose of gaining a little popularity. Or sometimes to destroy someone else's. Jannik had never particularly cared for the site; he himself was too normal and probably also a bit too unpopular to get mentioned there more than once, a neutral side comment about being the ambitious School Council’s president and doing fairly well in most of his subjects.
Maybe that meant that Jannik was a little bit tedious, but in hindsight to the popular cliques who threw parties every weekend, if not every day, and drank too much, smoked too much, snorted too much, Jannik was quite content. He had his own little friend group, nice and loyal people of whom his parents approved (not that he needed their approval). They shared other pleasures in their mansions and town houses scattered across the States, occasionally appearing together at socially renowned parties. Yeah, the occasional party saw Jannik in his simplest dress pants and a shirt, and even while being expensive, not screaming rich. He attended these mostly through his friends pushing, though they knew that Jannik didn’t like excessive parties. Even less so the drunk teenagers, who’d throw up right beside him just to then lean into him to casually try making out with him.
So yes, Jannik was a guest at some of these high-society parties, but he’d never really liked being there, always wishing for the appropriate moment to leave the festivities to come quicker.
Besides, Jannik had different things on his mind than this – more important matters. For example, his specially reserved place at Yale that his father had influenced in only a tiny bit, his already set-in-stone internship at the governor's office next summer and the steady assurance of soon leaving this hellish place and all the people he secretly despised.
Hence, when he opened up the meeting by asking his team about any important news, he couldn’t help suppressing the detestful grimace that appeared on his mouth when Charlotte Fridman shrieked something about some new famous student named Charly, apparently heir to the real estate empire Garfia, who seemed to now also attend St. Jude’s.
________
Even if Jannik had wished to ignore the circling, whispering suspense around the general student body, he couldn’t have escaped the name Carlos Alcaraz that Monday, or Charly, as everybody appeared to call him. The comments from his classmates made him sound like he was some legend resurrecting from the dead, everyone already awaiting the moment until he’d enter the school entrance and smile his (allegedly) blinding smile that made girls drop instantly to their knees for him. It was all very hilarious to Jannik, just how desperate some of his fellow students acted when it came to that guy. Jannik could, after only 15 minutes of overhearing some second-period break conversations, recount Charly’s whole life.
Apparently, he was so rich it made 99% of the students look poor in comparison to him. The real estate empire generations of his family had built in Hollywood and Palm Springs was deemed to be the biggest one in all of California, if not the whole West. He was said to be a party animal who, from his early teenage years onward, had slept with countless girls and showed little interest in anything beyond that – least of all school. It was all very cliche-like, the spitting image of a rich playboy who didn’t care at all for a proper education, as long as money kept flowing from his parent’s black Amex that he always carried around. In addition to that, the reason he had to leave his old school was rumored to have been this big scandal that his father had tried to cover up with an absurd sum and by also shipping his notorious son off to New York by himself.
Nobody really knew why he, Charly Alcaraz, was attending St. Jude’s all of a sudden, but the vast majority also didn’t care enough to decipher this mystery surrounding the new student, too enamored with the teenage sensation of having LA’s biggest and most popular playboy soon right at their feet – hoping to be the one he’d make friends with. Or take to bed.
Only, Jannik couldn’t comprehend the enormous hype around this guy. So what, he was a rich playboy? They had enough of these dickheads around here. New York and especially this school was full of them. As he strolled through the hallways, students of all ages glued to their phone screens, anxiously awaiting any news from the gossip queen herself about Charly’s arrival, Jannik only managed to describe the sight before him as deeply pathetic.
________
Charly, as if he’d planned his dramatic entrance beforehand, didn’t get to school that Monday. Neither on Tuesday nor on Wednesday. By Thursday he had every student wondering if Gossip Girl had fooled everyone on campus into thinking that Charly Alcaraz would be attending St. Jude’s. No one dared to ask any teachers as well; this was a general but unspoken rule because Gossip Girl was strictly a student’s thing, and involving a teacher practically meant social suicide.
However, just as everyone started to lose hope in that latest big Gossip Girl post, out of the blue, a golden-tanned, muscular, short-haired presence filled the steps in the courtyard entrance on Friday morning. Everyone stopped doing what they did – it was momentarily still; not even a hushed whisper was flowing through the air at that moment. Charly tipped the sunglasses on his head, which were an undeniably unneeded accessory at this time of the season, looked curiously at the gaping student body in front of him, and then, without a warning, flashed everyone watching him his infamous dazzling smile. Only then, the sealed dam broke and everybody seemed to suddenly want to talk to him, almost plunging forward and making Charly drown in the masses of people surrounding him all at once.
The sight could have been described as if a celebrity had arrived on the Upper East Side. Which was laughable because almost every student here had affiliations to powerful and famous people. Even so, Jannik himself, who’d been at St. Jude’s for more than three years, had never seen such an intensity and desire surrounding a student as well, let alone someone who was theoretically a “newbie”. Normally, coming here as a new student meant being an outcast at least for a few weeks until someone pitied you enough to integrate you into their social circle and thereby raise your respective place in the student hierarchy.
But not with Charly, of course, who, after the initial storm by the general student body, was soon enveloped by only the most popular and esteemed kids at Constance Billard-St. Jude’s. They patted his shoulders, laughed loudly at whatever he said, and seemed to praise him for everything that he’d ever achieved, even if Jannik guessed it probably wasn’t that much, anyway. God, he had been surely full of himself long before coming here, and being granted the top social rank on a silver platter would only inflate his ego further.
Yet, just as Jannik wanted to turn to his friends Matteo (a fellow Italian nobleman) and Jack (from an influential British aristocratic family) and complain about Charly and his pretty obvious self-centered, fuckboyish personality, Charly’s eyes, from the other side of the courtyard, caught Jannik’s for a moment. Their gazes locked into each other, charged with something Jannik would later only define as the beginning of his own resentment towards Charly, and stayed like that for this small instance. Then, just because Charly was Charly, he smirked slightly and sent a wink in Jannik’s direction. Jannik, who was too stunned to muster a proper facial response, only watched as Charly paused briefly at his non-reaction and then turned back to whoever nudged him to leave the courtyard. With that, Charly left the electric field he and Jannik happened to both be in for a shared second.
And Jannik only then fully grasped how much he already despised him, someone who embodied everything Jannik hated from the bottom of his heart.
________
He was right, of course. Charly turned out to be, just as expected, naturally, the most proper “playboy” St. Jude’s had ever seen before, or so thought Jannik. That Friday, the day of his arrival in St. Jude’s, he’d hosted a massive welcome party in his three-story apartment with a direct view onto Central Park, and well, the title “party prince” established itself instantly with that. People immediately called it the party of the season, and with that, Charly involuntarily claimed another title: most popular teenager in all of the Upper East Side. It wasn’t an easy title to hold. But Charly didn’t seem to mind; after all, he loved the attention – so much was clear. Hence, when Gossip Girl on the following Monday announced, right on lunch break, that the highlight of Charly’s party had been the crazy threesome he’d had with it-girls Celeste Girard and Ashley van Hargrave, Charly, by all means, instead of acting embarrassed, basked in that spotlight.
Jannik himself hadn’t been to the party, obviously – a clear statement had to be made from his side. Jack and Matteo had laughed at him when he’d told them exactly this that Friday evening but pushed him to go anyway. “You have to, just this one time!” they had pleaded almost desperately to him. But no way in hell would he grant this egoistic asshole the rare sight of him attending a party, more so his party. It was enough satisfaction for Charly that everybody else seemed to want to lick the bottom of his shoesoles to get invited there.
So whenever they met in the hallways, while Charly was always enveloped by a crowd of beautiful, unattainable, popular kids, Jannik made a point of keeping his expression neutral, refusing to become part of the mass hysteria. Though, even if he was burning on the inside from despise towards the party prince, he would never attempt to risk his own social status by stating his resentment out loud because, regardless of the fact that Jannik was generally liked well enough, all of that could crumble in an instant if someone, someone like Charly were to voice a dislike for Jannik. Yeah, there was nothing he could do except stare straight ahead and ignore the awe from other kids when Charly passed them.
Sometimes, when they passed each other, he caught an indescribable, slightly puzzled look from Charly when the latter one thought Jannik didn’t pay attention to him. This troubled Jannik more than he wanted to let on because for one, couldn’t he just let Jannik have his peace? Why was he even bothered if only one person didn’t want to kiss his ass? Jannik was no one special really, and yeah, maybe he came from a rich family in New York, but they weren’t at the top of the pyramid, far from it actually, and Jannik himself didn’t like to indulge much in his heritage and money, so for that reason, did Jannik’s opinion even matter?
Additionally, something Jack had said to Jannik a few weeks after his arrival bothered Jannik as well. Jannik was, according to him, bordering on obsession when it came to Charly. That he spent too much time thinking of the guy while the other one was out doing … whatever. And well, there was some truth to what Jack had told him. Jannik found himself at times thinking back to Charly, and just how easy everything had seemed to come for him since the very first day – but in Jannik’s humble opinion, it wasn’t actually that crazy to criticize the universal devotion for him. Being caught up like sheep in a flock had bothered Jannik ever since the days he could actually comprehend what it meant having his family’s kind of money in New York City.
Nevertheless, nobody could or seemed to want to understand Jannik in this matter, and all Jannik could do was to harbor his resentment quietly in his heart, therefore creating an inner turmoil he did not want to dwell on too much. Ignorance is bliss, is what people say, no? And exactly what Jannik did, too. Keeping himself busy with schoolwork, Yale, and occasionally hanging out with his friends was what made Jannik forget and ignore Charly in his day-to-day life.
But the fiery flicker in his chest never really calmed, unconsciously waiting for the big explosion.
________
In the first weeks of Charly’s attendance at St. Jude’s, Jannik acknowledged the rather surprising observation that no matter where Jannik went, Charly seemed to somehow be in the same vicinity as him. Just like if he’d be following Jannik’s schedule. Which was crazy to think about because why the hell would Charly even do something like that? It was really too insane to say out loud. Needless to say, Jannik noticed it all the same, the tiny stains of the Upper East Side’s beloved prince’s unusual doings.
Every Wednesday, during the eleven o’clock lunch break in the courtyard, Jannik met Jack – and without fail, Charly was there too with his entourage, though his school planner listed no break at that hour. Or, sometimes he’d lurk around the library with his loyal minions simultaneously as Jannik even though this wasn’t part of his common school territory at all. And it didn’t stop at that, either.
They shared only a single class together (after all, Jannik took almost only honors classes) – Physics. In Charly’s first physics lesson, he, contrary to the teacher’s suggestion, had sat right next to Jannik in the second row and smirked at him, just like he’d done a few days prior. Following their “introduction” in the courtyard and the events from Charly’s welcome party recounted by his friends and Gossip Girl, of course, Jannik had only made up his mind more regarding Charly and had therefore decided to follow his secret strategy: to ignore him. Which was also exactly what he’d done in that precise first moment. Instead of forcing a reaction, he’d acted as if he hadn’t noted Charly’s presence and gone over his homework again. From the corner of his eye, he perceived the little frown Charly shot his way, which meant that Jannik’s doing must have bothered Charly (Jannik guessed that most girls and boys in school would die to get this kind of attention from Manhattan’s most desired teenager), but then he effortlessly turned to the two girls who stood silently but eagerly next to his desk and opened up a conversation with them instead. As a feeling of pure victory and quiet rebellion filled Jannik’s insides, he only hoped that this marked the point where Charly would let Jannik have his peace and thereby not hassle him in any way in the future.
Yet, precisely that was probably the reason why Charly then made it his own personal mission to torment him every time they had physics together. Maybe Jannik was just overreacting; after all, Charly didn’t actually torment him, but the stares towards Jannik simply kept coming, over and over. He’d just sit there, right next to him, in silence, and when Jannik was expecting it the least, Charly would grin and show the sharp edges of his teeth. As if he knew something Jannik didn’t. This drove Jannik crazy with contempt. The thing was, Jannik couldn’t even have brushed this off as Charly wanting to be friends with him due to the fact that something like this wasn’t meant to be friendly. Moreover, Jannik wasn't even sure if Charly knew his name. And, well, he also didn’t make an effort to get to know it.
Asking Jannik what he’d say when describing himself, he’d surely affirm himself as a person who could hardly get fed up with somebody. Especially not by people who thought status and popularity were everything. Cool-headed, logically thinking Jannik was someone who thought himself better than that, smarter than that. Be that as it may, all of these little confusing actions led to Jannik gradually losing his mind over Charly. As time went on, if he wasn’t bent over schoolwork or extracurricular activities, his mind increasingly kept coming back to Charly this, Charly that. With that, Charly unknowingly broke Jannik’s hard-constructed detachment into little pieces.
It only took one month before everything blew up.
To be exact, merely a month and seven days for Jannik’s calm universe to crumble forever.
________
The end of November meant that the birthday weekend of the Bloomberg twins was approaching the Upper East Side. Naturally, for their 18th birthdays, a gigantic party was needed. If it weren’t for Charly’s welcome party beforehand, that would have been the event to be seen at this autumn.
Speaking of the Bloomberg twins equaled talking about Preston Bloomberg and Ivy Bloomberg. Though they were twins, they couldn’t have been more different. Whereas Preston loved flashing his money and partying excessively, Ivy was academically driven and hungry for the class of 2010 valedictorian title. Besides, Ivy was also a member of the Student Council, and because she was as nice as she was smart, she made a good friend of Jannik. Which subsequently meant that, to Jannik’s disdain and Jack’s and Matteo’s delight, Jannik had no choice but to attend the twins' immense party celebration.
To add more to Jannik’s horror, Preston was also a firm member of the Charly friend group, or rather the Charly fan club, and therefore, Jannik had to make peace with the fact that the notorious party prince would surely attend this party, as well. Obviously, Jannik knew that he couldn’t have avoided Charly forever at various private events; Manhattan’s teenage “elite” was just a tad too small for that to occur, but he would have liked to have a tiny little bit more time. Jannik’s rational side argued that Charly certainly would not bother with Jannik being there at all, but something in his stomach upright churned with the dread that somehow, something would happen that fateful evening of the 28th.
Jannik was a worrier by nature, yet he tried to suppress this anxiety when he entered the elevator to the apartment where the party was hosted at – famously known for the big rooftop area with an infinity pool. Had it been summer, the navy blue dress pants and the striped polo on Jannik would have been a bad tap in the dark, but because it was freezing cold this time of the year, the clothes that looked right back at him when he quickly glanced down at what he was wearing seemed appropriate.
Loud music and the heat of sweaty bodies messily dancing greeted Jannik as he stepped out of the elevator that led straight into the apartment. The stench of sharp alcohol instantly filled up Jannik’s nostrils, and he couldn’t hold back the slight grimace his face turned into. Nevertheless, Jannik’s eyes searched the crowd for faces he’d recognize, although he wasn’t sure his usual company had arrived yet; after all, it was only past 10 PM. Hence, he kept on looking around, drunk students already making a mess in the apartment and stumbling into Jannik’s side as he walked on. God, how he’d wished he just stayed home. But it was too late for that.
When another ten minutes of Jannik looking for Jack or anyone else appeared to be a waste of time, he decided that he’d looked long enough and surrendered to the fact that he had to mix with the crowd. Swiftly, he turned around to the big kitchen near the entrance, a bunch of alcoholic beverages stocking the meter-long white marble counter. His fingers snatched onto an empty red cup, and Jannik, without further thought, filled it with a liquid that distinctively smelled of vodka mixed with some syrupy soda. Jannik usually wasn’t the type of person to drink hard alcohol or to even enjoy it, but he had to somehow make this party more appealing for himself, and, as everyone knew, alcohol was just the substance for that. Jannik’s bitter drink trickled down his throat, leaving back only a burning aftertaste he wasn’t quite accustomed to.
Then, all of a sudden, a voice called out “Jannik!” and he whirled around, a little bit off-center. The thought that he probably shouldn’t have gushed the whole drink down in one go crossed Jannik’s mind merely for a second, but because he felt himself already much more at ease, he carelessly brushed it off.
A dainty figure pushed through the masses of bodies to get through to him; however, only when this person stood right in front of him did Jannik recognize the strawberry blond hair and the big brown eyes that unquestionably belonged to Ivy Bloomberg. She greeted him with a big smile, so big that Jannik guessed she was a few drinks in tonight as well. Good for her, thought Jannik.
“Ah… Jannik, s’good you are here! I’m jus’ really happy you got here in time for th’ firework” Ivy pulled him into a tight hug and kissed his cheek, just like they did when they saw each other outside of school, but the sheer force with which she did that surprised Jannik a little, which was why he pulled back rather abruptly. Ivy didn’t seem to notice though, the flushed smile never leaving her mouth. “Firework’s at 12, so don’t miss’t!”, she carried on, hurriedly talking about the party and the people attending off the top of her head. But just as she wanted to drag Jannik to the bar to down shots together, a female voice Jannik didn’t recognize pulled Ivy out of her conversation with Jannik, and she, with a light squeeze on Jannik’s arm, slurriedly apologized for having to leave him and, before Jannik could utter something back, vanished into a hallway on the left side.
And Jannik was standing alone again. Thanks for that, Ivy.
Right at the point where he’d been half an hour before, Jannik looked around himself, the faces of the people around him blurring into one single hazy picture. All of a sudden, everything was too much and came crushing down onto Jannik, making his breathing without warning so uneven that Jannik believed he wasn’t breathing hardly at all anymore. The loud bass of the 90’s hip-hop song that was blasting through the room was making Jannik’s head pulse with the need to sit down. Somewhere quiet. Right now. Leaving his cup in the kitchen, he hurriedly followed a dark hallway into a calmer part of the big apartment, Jannik holding his composure together by mere threads. What in the name of God had he swallowed in that red cup for him to freak out all of a sudden?
Jannik’s hands were pushing at the brown mahogany doors to open, which were, to his misfortune, all locked – right until the very last door in the hallway that magically swung open. The room bore the sight of a perfectly cleaned king’s bedroom with a window granting the sight of the whole beauty of Manhattan. His breathing had already calmed a little bit, and as he sat down on the bed, trying to put his racing pulse at peace, he realized just how much he actually didn’t want to stay at this party any longer. The unfamiliar crowd, the way too loud music – instead of being here, Jannik wished for a cozy evening in his parent’s townhouse with Matteo and Jack, playing FIFA together rather than whatever the fuck he was supposed to do here on his own.
Jannik looked down at his flat palms and recognized the slight tremble they bore. The same one he had when he sensed he was ill-prepared for a presentation. He didn’t know how long he’d sat in that dark room, steadying himself, but just as he slowly got up to leave the room and, with that, the party, too, hushed laughter and a muffled voice mumbled something behind the closed wooden door. Jannik stopped in his tracks. Then, the door handle was pushed down, and the door flew open.
Revealing a slightly ruffled figure, white shirt untucked and the first two buttons opened, with a drink in hand. Someone Jannik actually wanted to see the least in this precise moment.
“Oh… sorry. Thought this room was empty.” Charly, the devil reincarnated, at least in Jannik’s eyes, seemed actually a little embarrassed to have charged into the room just like that, even if Jannik was without company.
“No, it’s fine. I was just leaving,” uttered Jannik flatly and made a few steps forwards to push past Charly, already sticking this evening into the hellish category of “do not relive”. Having thought that, Charly, out of the blue, appeared to be much more interested in their nonexistent conversation than just mere seconds before and stepped completely into the room, the door he had held open with his right hand now falling shut with a quiet click.
Jannik’s steps faltered, a slightly tense expression making itself visible as Charly made his way to the window, the drink in his hand and the original intention of coming here suddenly forgotten. He stayed like that for a fiddle second, in which Jannik contemplated quietly leaving the room; after all, Charly surely had wanted to check the availability of the room for a hookup later on. Jannik wasn’t needed here for that. However, before Jannik could take any further step towards the door, Charly, all at once, spun around to face Jannik again, his back illuminated by the glistering, never-sleeping-city lights.
“You know, I recognize you, but I also don’t…” he started slowly, something playful but also dangerous twinkling in his dark brown eyes. ”Like, I see you around school, and even though we pass each other every day, I actually don’t seem to know you at all, when everybody else, on the contrary, is just so easy. …d’you understand what I mean?”
The rational, responsible side in Jannik screamed silently at him to leave the asshole (who, just as Jannik had thought, didn’t know his name or at least for some reason pretended to not know) standing here by himself, an utter embarrassment for the popular guy of course, and get on his way home. But something was keeping Jannik’s feet firmly placed in the spot where Charly had surprised him mere moments before. An intrigued feeling made space in his body instead, and therefore, Jannik decided he would let this conversation happen. Maybe, he could tell Charly what he really thought of him, without the risk of someone hearing his unfiltered opinion about their beloved prince.
“It’s Jannik. Jannik Sinner. We’re in the same physics class… but I don’t think you’ve noticed that if you don’t even know who I am.”
“Actually, you are wrong.” Even in this deep darkness, Jannik could have traced the intimidating smile that grazed the edges of Charly’s mouth. “I know very well who you are. And your name, as well.” He paused and looked down, suddenly much more fascinated in the expensive watch on his left wrist. “I have to say, Jannik, what I meant with all I said earlier is that you confuse me. Everybody else loves me here, adores me, and they are all just so fucking docile as well. But with you, I notice how, even if you make an effort to hide it, you always quickly look away when I’m sitting down next to you in that dumb class. Or try to ignore me in the hallways.” When Charly looked back up to meet Jannik’s skeptical gaze, the lethal flicker in Charly’s eyes was visible even from multiple feet away. “Yeah, don’t you think I don’t see it for how it is. You try so desperately to show me that you hate me, hoping that it somehow bothers me, when in reality, it makes all of this,” he gestured between them with his index finger, ”only much more fun.”
The sharp edges of Charly’s perfect pearly whites glimmered as he barked out a near sinful laugh. Jannik’s back erupted in a shudder. The person in front of Jannik was nothing like the harmless, self-centered laughingstock Charly usually embodied at school. No, this person in front of him was almost threateningly quick-witted. He tried to shake these thoughts off his mind. This was still party prince Charly, right?
“So what, maybe I don’t like you. But I highly doubt that you need me to like you as well, like the fucking rest of this school.” There was nothing neutral left in Jannik’s voice, the suppressed hatred after weeks of build-up slowly emerging from Jannik’s heart and into the charged air that was surrounding them both.
Charly looked at Jannik as if he’d said something stupid. And Jannik felt stupid for saying this, even though it was the closest to what he’d told himself the first day of Charly’s arrival. “Do you think I care that you don’t like me?” The chuckle Charly released washed away the last bit of composure Jannik had held onto during their brief conversation.
Jannik stood paralyzed and watched as Charly, gracefully like a panther approaching its prey, took a step towards Jannik, and step after step, came closer to Jannik, only coming to a halt in front of him when the distance between was reduced so much that their breaths mingled together.
“You want to know what I actually think of that? Because I believe I have you all figured out.” Charly stuck his tanned index finger leisurely on Jannik’s hard chest, accusingly and somehow like an old lover, at the same time. The intense stare in Charly’s eyes produced a burning fire in Jannik’s lower stomach. Hate, he told himself.
Jannik tried to drive his own gaze away from the fierce eyeing duel they were fighting right now, but something detained Jannik from doing just that.
Charly was so close now that Jannik could probably count the lighter specks in his dark, chocolate eyes, if he wanted to. Without thinking, his eyes wandered down his nose and cheeks to the plump pink lips where a small, knowing smirk tugged at the corner of Charly’s mouth. As if caught, Jannik quickly looked into the cold, brown eyes again.
“I think you pretend to hate me because you actually like me more than you want to let on.”
A pause. Then,
“Wha–... No! Why would I even…,” and the words kept stuttering from Jannik’s mouth, unable to keep them inside, but Charly didn’t let him finish his embarrassed rambling.
“Yeah, maybe you… believe you hate me, but it’s almost cute how hard you try to contain whatever you feel for me. Keep telling yourself it’s loathe, yet the way you look at me, look at me even right now, is telling me otherwise.”
“I do hate you. You are making things up.”
“Could be. But,” Charly leaned closer and tipped his head just the slightest bit so that his lips almost grazed the shell of Jannik’s ear. The light hair strands on Jannik’s neck and arms stood up against Jannik’s will, his lips falling open in bewilderment. “Unfortunately for you, your body says something else.”
And then, as if all of time had stopped, Charly put his hand on Jannik's neck, and with a brief, searching glance in Jannik’s eyes, tilted Jannik’s head down and, in slow motion, pressed their lips together. Whatever had gone through Jannik’s head in that exact moment, whether it was surprise, disbelief, or even aversion or desire (probably a mix of all), seemed to vanish from there. All that was left was the unfamiliar heat of the pressing tongue in Jannik’s mouth, and Jannik instinctively closed his eyes as his own free hands went to grasp the other’s waist.
The concept of the rumors of Charly being a very good lover in bed was thereby in Jannik’s mind surely confirmed because he was a fucking great kisser. He was pushy, so much so the wild dance of their mouths could have been described only as rough than anything else, but Jannik didn’t mind at all. He liked that Charly pulled his head forcefully to one side so that his tongue could explore his mouth even deeper than it already was. He liked that Charly jerked the red curls on his head hard, so hard that Jannik couldn’t stifle the quietest moans. He liked that Charly vehemently pushed him to the nearest wall, caging his upper body against Jannik’s, leaving no space for God, and travelled with his left hand down, down Jannik’s stomach, burning Jannik’s skin everywhere his fingers wandered.
He liked it so much he almost didn’t pick up the sound of a door promptly opening next door and the loud mix of voices that followed it.
Almost.
Suddenly, the magical spell was broken, and Jannik, all at once, pushed Charly harshly away from him. Charly, still dazed from the kiss, or rather from eating each other’s faces, looked somewhat confused, lifting an eyebrow while silently asking why he’d stopped. But there was no time left for explaining anything now. Jannik had to leave, right this instant, before anything worse than this could happen. Fucking hell, what had he been thinking?
While wiping his wet and red-kissed mouth with the back of his hand, his legs seemed to not yet fully obey him; therefore, he slightly tripped on his way to the door. A rough “Jannik?” was heard from behind, as were the steps that made clear that Charly was following him; however, Jannik couldn’t really concentrate on that when he shakily pulled the door handle and stepped into the low-lit hallway.
His mind was already racing with the aftermath of what had just happened, his own stoic head accusing him of listening to only physical attraction, without taking the possible consequences into account. Which was all true. Even so, who could have guessed that Jannik had a physical thing going on for Charly? He himself had certainly not known! And what the actual hell had happened that only mere minutes into a heated conversation they suddenly started heavily making out? I mean, who could have foreseen something like that? Not even someone as smart as Jannik, apparently.
As thoughts and reactions whizzed through his brain, he promptly noticed that the eyes of everyone standing in that hallway were tightly fixated on him. Or rather, the someone behind him. Jannik stopped and fleetly turned around to see a very obviously dishevelled Charly standing a few feet behind him, breathing heavily, and the door that led to the room they had both been in open wide. The reminiscence of Charly’s called out “Jannik!” still in the air around them. Realizing that, Jannik, all at once, did not want to think about how he himself looked right now because, well, anyone who had eyes could clearly see what had been going on in that wicked room.
The feeling of multiple eyes staring holes at Jannik, as were Charly’s, felt way too intense for Jannik right there and then, and the need to escape, just as before, crept back up Jannik’s throat. His feet were already moving before he had time to think about what to do or where to go, storming off in the direction of the entrance. Somewhere, a bright, white flash blinked directly into Jannik’s face, but there was no time to think about what that had been because a massive crowd blocked the way through the main living room, everybody gawking at the big window where momentarily the first few bright specks of the firework shot into the air. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he registered Jack’s baffled voice calling for him when he passed him by, but Jannik’s mind was set on the elevator. The colorful splashes of light from the firework illuminated the room as Jannik pressed the button for the elevator and stepped right into it, collapsing against the wall when the doors finally closed and the earsplitting music from the party all at once seemed far, far away.
The cab ride back home was horrendous. Several people were blowing up his cell phone, asking for his well-being or why he had run off so abruptly at the party, but moreover, random people he had at most talked to once in his life, were begging him to explain what he’d done in that room with Charly Alcaraz. It was all so humiliating. He, who had sworn to himself that he would not fall into the Charly trap, had stumbled into it just thoughtlessly, even though Jannik saw himself as the opposite of thoughtless.
With his burning forehead pressed against the cab’s cool window, a first hopeful thought slipped into Jannik’s mind, easing him slightly. Maybe he was overreacting. After all, no one had seen what happened in that room, and there was no visible evidence. Charly could simply have been drunk, wandering in without realizing Jannik was there alone. And the scene Jannik had caused when he left was far too vague to suggest any physical involvement between them
Yeah, probably just overreacting.
Therefore, Jannik finally regained a little balance, the streets getting more familiar as the car ride went on, and Jannik’s mind silently echoed over and over:
Nothing bad had befallen his reputation. Nothing was destroyed of his peace yet.