Chapter Text
Sunlight streamed through the large windows of an otherwise unremarkable office building, casting long streaks of light across the tiled floor. Like most mornings, Xie Lian stood by the elevator and pressed the button, stifling a yawn while his mind drifted to the unfinished tasks he’d left behind last week. Suddenly, a familiar, cheerful voice snapped him out of his thoughts.
“Good morning, gege.”
Xie Lian recognized the voice before turning his head, warm and bright like the sun itself. Only one person in the office called him ‘gege,’ and while Xie Lian had never questioned it—Hua Cheng was seven years younger and had joined the company as his junior only two weeks ago—he often found himself contemplating whether to tell Hua Cheng to simply use his name.
“Good morning,” he replied with a smile.
Hua Cheng was beaming, and Xie Lian considered covering his eyes to prevent being blinded. He was as handsome as ever. Most days, he could be seen in his signature look: a vivid red shirt that contrasted sharply against his black pants, and one silver earring with butterflies added a touch of elegance to his rather bold appearance. His dark, slightly wavy hair was longer at the back, with loose strands partly covering his right eye.
Xie Lian had to admit he found Hua Cheng’s choice of jewelry charming, but he would never have the confidence to pull off a similar look at work. As a former figure skater, Xie Lian was used to the most dashing clothes and pretty accessories, but these days he preferred plain white shirts with high collars and turtlenecks. They hid the scar on his neck he’d rather not talk about, and blending in gave him a sense of security. Still, he’d never quite had the heart to cut the hair that fell past his shoulders. He always wore it in a messy bun, held up with a white hair tie.
“Hm, it seems like the elevator is taking longer,” Hua Cheng said. “Wanna take the stairs with me?”
Xie Lian gave an awkward smile at the suggestion of taking the stairs up to the ninth floor. It probably wouldn’t have been a problem a few years ago, but now he didn’t feel confident enough to even make it halfway, especially not with someone else watching.
“Just kidding,” Hua Cheng added quickly, tightening his grip on his bag, probably embarrassed after noticing Xie Lian’s hesitation to even respond.
As the door finally opened, more people had gathered behind them. Everyone stumbled into the elevator at once. Xie Lian lost sight of Hua Cheng, only meeting him again when they exited on the right floor. Hua Cheng told him to take it easy today and take breaks whenever he needed, which left Xie Lian slightly taken aback. Everyone else kept telling him to do his best, and the moment he finished one task, someone else would appear to drop another stack of papers onto his desk.
It wasn’t that Xie Lian minded hard work—in fact, he had a habit of skipping breaks until he’d finished whatever he was working on. He often took on unpaid overtime whenever he felt he could have done better. Still, he couldn’t ignore how others took advantage of his dedication. Sometimes, extra folders would mysteriously appear on his desk, most often when Xie Lian finally allowed himself a break. In those moments, he wished he had the courage to say no, and set boundaries that would protect his time and energy.
Xie Lian’s mind wandered back to Hua Cheng. He seemed to be a very considerate and hardworking person. Xie Lian decided he would think about thanking him with some encouraging words the next time they met.
When he reached his desk in the wide open-space office, Xie Lian sat down and began sorting through some printouts he didn’t remember from last week. The company, Yong’an Stationery, produced smart and cute pencils, notebooks, erasers, and plenty of other items. Xie Lian’s main responsibilities were accounting and online marketing, nothing too complicated as his ambitions weren’t particularly high.
“Xie Lian, hey,” he heard Shi Qingxuan’s voice.
Their soft facial features made them look several years younger than they actually were. They wore their wavy hair loose over their shoulders, with a green ribbon at the back holding a few strands in place.
Shi Qingxuan’s desk was right next to him, and they were the only one of his colleagues who hadn’t made a strange face upon hearing Xie Lian’s name when he was introduced to them six months ago. Perhaps Shi Qingxuan didn’t know who he used to be, or perhaps they didn’t care.
“I heard it’s your thirtieth birthday this Thursday!”
“That’s right.”
Xie Lian only then remembered his birthday. Maybe he could buy himself one of the fancy cake slices he always admired behind a shop window on his way back home.
Another deep voice joined their conversation from behind.
“Thirty, huh?” Pei Ming smirked, a handsome man in his mid-thirties with sharp, well-groomed eyebrows and every strand of hair in place. “They say anyone who hits thirty still a virgin gets the power to use magic.”
How did Pei Ming know of his virginity? Xie Lian didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Pei Ming, however, didn’t suppress any mocking laughter.
Shi Qingxuan looked confused for a second, then they quickly turned to Xie Lian and whispered, “I’m so sorry, I might’ve accidentally mentioned something in front of that idiot when I was drunk. You can scold me as much as you want.”
Xie Lian sighed, but he didn’t feel any anger toward Shi Qingxuan. After all, he was the one who had accidentally hinted at his virginity before, so he couldn’t blame Shi Qingxuan for letting it slip. It was a consequence of his own carelessness.
“Don’t worry,” he told Shi Qingxuan before he turned toward Pei Ming.
“I would just appreciate it if you kept your voice down the next time you mentioned something like this.”
“Your secret’s safe with me,” Pei Ming hummed.
Shi Qingxuan didn’t look convinced, and Xie Lian could tell they’d already thought of a comeback, but he told them with his eyes to let it go. He didn’t want to drag on this topic any longer.
“I pray for you to get laid soon,” were Pei Ming's last words before he turned back to his computer.
Xie Lian just shook his head. He did not want the words of someone who changed their bedmate every other day to get to him.
Xie Lian didn’t regret still being a virgin. Throughout and even after his figure skating career, he had never truly felt the desire for a relationship. If it had just been about losing his virginity, he could have done so years ago. But for Xie Lian, it was never about the act itself. It was about finding someone he truly loved. Until know, he hadn’t really felt the urge to have sex with anyone, and he didn’t feel like missing out.
“That shameless man!” If Shi Qingxuan and Xie Lian had something in common, it was their inability to curse. “I’m really sorry, I just wanted to ask if you wanna hang out with me and go see a movie or something. You only turn thirty once, after all.”
Xie Lian gave him a faint smile.
“Thank you for the suggestion, but I already have plans.”
“Oh. Then let’s do something on the weekend!”
“Sure. We can talk about this later. Let’s get back to work.”
In truth, Xie Lian hadn’t planned anything beyond treating himself to a slice of cake. After all these years, it just didn’t feel right to imagine a fun birthday with friends. Did he even deserve anyone to celebrate with him? It was easier to spend the day alone, as he always did, quietly hoping that someday he could let go of the old guilt that resurfaced every time his birthday came around.
Despite all the kindness Shi Qingxuan had shown him, Xie Lian didn’t expect them to understand or listen, so he distracted himself with today’s work.
By afternoon, Xie Lian was struggling to keep his eyes open. Most nights, he barely slept, either lying awake for hours or waking up multiple times. He was somewhat used to it by now, but focusing for a full eight hours still felt like a challenge. Just as he closed his Excel sheet, debating whether to pretend he was still working, he heard the thump of a folder hitting the desk right next to him.
“Excuse me, Mr. Xie.”
Xie Lian met gray eyes rimmed with dark circles, silently hoping Ling Wen, his department manager, just had a quick question. But as she opened the folder and ran her finger over the numbers, he already had a pretty good idea of what was coming.
“Can you check these numbers again? The data does not match and we need the correct printouts by tomorrow morning.”
“Of course, give me a second.”
“Please don’t rush to avoid further mistakes. I leave the folder with you. Bring it to my desk when you are done.”
Xie Lian nodded, and Ling Wen returned the gesture before starting to pack her bag. She definitely wasn’t planning to stay for overtime, but Xie Lian couldn’t blame her because she seemed to get even less sleep than he did.
As he went over the data, Xie Lian realized that half of his recent documents were missing their contents. Frustrated with himself, he wondered how he’d failed to save everything properly and started over from scratch. Ten minutes later, he saw Shi Qingxuan leave, apologizing that they couldn’t help today because of an appointment. That left Xie Lian as the last person in the office—or so he thought, until he heard footsteps approaching.
“Gege, are you still working?”
Taken aback, Xie Lian murmured, “Yes.” Hua Cheng pulled a chair over and sat down beside him.
“Let me do it,” he said, looking up to meet Xie Lian’s eyes. “You’ve been working so much all day. I haven’t really done anything anyway, so I might as well work overtime.”
Thinking he couldn’t possibly let his younger coworker handle his work, Xie Lian said, “Thanks, but I should do this myself. You’re a graphic designer, right? I can’t exactly dump all these numbers on you.”
“I'm a quick learner,” Hua Cheng insisted. “If you don’t want me to take over, let me help you at least.”
Xie Lian smiled. Hua Cheng was still new to the office, so maybe he just wanted to learn as much as he could, eager to help in any way.
“All right. I really appreciate you wanting to help me.”
Just a little while ago, Hua Cheng had offered him encouraging words, and now he was right there, helping again. Xie Lian felt a pang of guilt, but he couldn’t bring himself to refuse such a sincere offer.
As he explained, Hua Cheng listened carefully, nodding along obediently. He really was a quick learner, and before Xie Lian even thought about checking the time, they were done.
“Gege, you’re so kind, always taking on everyone else’s work and staying late after working so hard,” Hua Cheng smiled warmly. “You can lean on me a little, if you want.”
Trying to make sense of Hua Cheng’s consideration toward him, Xie Lian concluded that he must be like this with everyone. As a newcomer, Hua Cheng was probably just trying to make a good impression—sweet words came easier to some people, after all.
“You’re the kind one, Hua Cheng. Thanks to you, I finished much earlier today. But I think you should focus on yourself before helping others. Things are only going to get busier around here, so it’s best to take your time getting used to your own tasks first.”
“I’d much rather help gege than deal with my boring tasks,” Hua Cheng said, his smile unwavering. He propped his chin on his hand, elbow resting casually on the table. “Just one thing… would you mind calling me San Lang instead?”
Before Xie Lian could answer, Hua Cheng quickly added, “There are some memories tied to my name that I’d rather not think about.”
Xie Lian understood and nodded. He had once told his therapist that if he could legally change his name, he would do it in an instant. Maybe then fewer people would associate him with his failed career.
“Thank you again, San Lang.”
“It was nothing.” Hua Cheng stood up and took the folder, ready to place it on Ling Wen’s desk.
After tidying his workspace, Xie Lian held the office door open for Hua Cheng, stepping into the elevator with him. This time, they were alone in the small space, and Xie Lian didn’t know where to look, so he awkwardly stared at his own shoes.
“See you tomorrow, gege,” Hua Cheng said as they parted outside the building.
“See you tomorrow, San Lang.”
On his way home, Xie Lian felt lighter than usual, so he decided to treat himself to his favorite steamed bun and spend the rest of the day reading a book all curled up in his bed.