Ghostride

by Hiraethkeeper

Summary:

Shouto was eight the first time he prayed for death. His brother left because Shouto’s existence made life unbearable. His mother was institutionalized after he pushed her past her limits. His father’s expectations twisted into violence. He didn’t understand much, but the pitying, avoidant looks from his siblings convinced him the world would be better without him.

At ten, he learned to hide bruises.
At twelve, he began adding his own.
At fourteen, he learned to trust, to have friends.

At seventeen, he wanted to be happy. His father was gone. His mother was healing. Touya was alive. The war was over. He believed his will to live was unbreakable.

At eighteen, it shattered. One night. One failed rescue. One dead civilian. One lie.

A week later, he disappeared.

Shouto turns twenty the day he attempts. Alone, he hopes Touya will answer the phone.

Chapter 1

Shouto was eight the first time he prayed to be reaped by death. His brother left because Shoto’s existence had transformed his life into something unbearable. His mother was sent to a mental institution after he pushed her past her limits. His father’s expectations had long since twisted into violent obsession.

He didn’t know much then, but the pitying, avoidant glances from his siblings were enough to make him believe he’d be better off dead.

At ten, he mastered the art of concealing bruises and scars.
At twelve, he started adding some of his own.
At fourteen, he discovered how to trust, how to warm up to others. That his heart wasn’t frozen forever and that he could have friends.

At seventeen, he wanted to learn how to be happy, to have faith in the universe. He no longer spoke to his father. His mother was in a rehabilitation center. Touya was alive. The war had ended. Everyone he loved, and who loved him back, was safe. He was about to officially become a pro-hero, and he thought nothing could ever trample on his will to live again.

But at eighteen, the illusion shattered. One walk throught the city. One evening. One failed rescue. One civilian dead. One hour spent with the devil. One escape after he was done with him. One lie written in his report. Millions of guilty shards from the explosion of his soul.

A week later, he disappeared. Abandoned everything and everyone he had ever known here. Ran away from this life, from this pain.

Shouto turns twenty the day he attempts. He is alone, and in the daze of his last moments, he hopes Touya will answer the phone.