Chapter Text
Hime flipped the nondescript business card between her fingers, biting back her nerves as she listened to Mei Mei speak for her. This negotiation was a big deal, so she didn’t want to ruin it, but she also couldn’t stop the voice in the back of her mind from warning her not to get her hopes up. Even being hopeful resulted in another line of complicated thinking that she tried to ignore, one that made her squirm with a case of newbie anxiety.
When she’d dreamed of getting into acting as a little girl, she’d never expected to end up in the porn industry. Then again, what person did? She imagined the odd teenage boy joking about getting into porn so they could constantly get their dick wet, but the reality was that this was no one’s dream.
At least, she didn’t think so, but who was she kidding? It was a lucrative business, one that would never die, just evolve, which was how she’d found herself here, sitting in a plush chair in a relatively normal agency office while her old college friend worked out the details that would involve her getting fucked routinely and both of them getting paid well.
The lawyer for the company, a rather tired-looking man named Higuruma, flipped through the pages of the contract Mei Mei had drawn, then tapped on a specific line. “What about this clause?”
“Non-negotiable,” Mei Mei replied without hesitation.
Higuruma’s eyes flickered over to Hime, the sharpness of his gaze making her sit upright, before he moved his attention back to Mei Mei. Though she was fresh to the game with only a year in, she was already making a name for herself: unscrupulous, clever, more than a little underhanded, and, most importantly, unyielding when it came to what she wanted. She was willing to play ball, but there were some things that she didn’t budge on, especially when it came to her first and best client.
“I see.”
“Any modifications, digital or makeup, will only be allowed if they are agreed upon by my client,” Mei Mei stated.
Higuruma nodded and scribbled down a note on the document. “Understood.”
He did not look at Hime again as he made his way through the contract, but she could feel his calculating eyes on her. Higuruma was a lawyer, wrapped up in all the legalities when it came to a business that wasn’t exactly legal. Who knew how many times he’d had to face the courts and other lawyers for his clients, knowing damn well that they weren’t defensible? He had to cross his t’s and dot his i’s, leaving no stone unturned. Even if he didn’t care for this business, he knew what his clients wanted.
And while she’d made an incredible impression in her debut on the scene last year, Hime knew his bosses might not be as forgiving about the scar that crossed nearly the entirety of her face.
She had to fight the urge to run a finger along it to soothe a phantom burning sensation that his gaze left on her. It was an old wound of nearly two years, completely scarred over, somehow both numb and sensitive at the same time, but whenever she found herself in meetings like this, it felt fresh and raw. Like a single look could cause it to open up again and bleed.
Mei Mei told her not to worry – “Viewers aren’t concerned about your face,” she’d said – but Hime couldn’t help but think about it.
Before the attack that left her scarred, she’d managed to snag a handful of roles, a few television appearances and two movies. The last movie involved a much larger role, one she’d fought hard for, set to be her official breakout appearance. She was so excited, if not overwhelmed, by the whole thing. Filming with stars she’d been watching for years, working on massive sets, the press tour, the interviews – it was her dream.
And then it all came crashing down because one person got it in their head that she’d stolen the role by sleeping her way into it.
After the attack, it was all anyone could talk about, taking over the press for the actual movie. It ended up being a success, but not for the right reasons, and almost no one talked about her actual performance in it. Studios began to distance themselves, directors glancing over her headshots with a fresh scar marring it, and the media was too busy foaming over the court drama than her career.
The rumors naturally came, along with the accusations and insults. Hime wouldn’t deny that they hurt her. She was still a nobody in comparison to so many other people in the industry, so there were few people in her corner. It crushed her, leaving her more broken than the actual attack, to the point where she stopped taking calls from her agent and started packing up her bags to move home.
The worst part of it hadn’t even been the accusations that she had slept her way into the role. She could handle those because she knew they weren’t true, but then tabloids began to dig into her acting abilities, picking out her flaws and her time on stage back in high school. They talked about her mother running off with another man when she was five, leaving her father to be a single parent, how he’d gone through a series of girlfriends, which likely left an impression on her.
It was humiliating, one single question haunting her, even though she was the one attacked.
How had a girl from nothing managed to score a big role so quickly in her career?
And then there was Mei Mei, her shrewd and much more experienced best friend from college, with a simple solution: “Why not use their accusations to your advantage?”
The transition into this industry was smoother than Hime expected, if not a slippery slope. It wasn’t like she could just call up someone and ask to be in a video with them. Fortunately, Mei Mei, with her background in the film industry thanks to her father and her savvy business skills, offered to help out. By then, the court situation had settled, and Hime was all but out of the public eye, one of the many forgotten actresses who were lost before they could find their place.
They started slow with solo videos. It was incredibly embarrassing, especially because it meant getting herself off on camera in front of her friend. They laughed about it a lot, usually over drinks bought with the measly money she’d gained from the videos. Things didn’t take off right away, but eventually, she became more comfortable, and they got more creative. She cultivated a small but loyal following, and her first live, while low on numbers, was a surprising success.
Mei Mei suggested using her name to bolster views, but Hime was worried it would only bring back her history and cause another frenzy with the media. It would prove them right. No, she wore a mask every time, hiding her identity from the public, which was half the allure. They’d managed to get their foot in the door, but that was the first step. It didn’t feel entirely real, especially when she was pretending to be someone else.
However, when someone reached out to her with an idea for a partnered video, it all became terribly real. She wouldn’t just be fucking herself with a dildo on camera. Someone else, a relative stranger, would fuck her. For views, for money.
Hime was embarrassed to admit that she had very little experience in that department.
That was the appeal, though, at least according to Mei Mei as she worked out the details via email. So many viewers were used to experienced actors and actresses. Even if they played at being a virgin for a video, in the end, it was obvious that they weren’t. Hime wasn’t a virgin – she’d had a high school sweetheart, a boyfriend in college, and even dated another low-list actor briefly – but she’d been woefully lacking in the romance department since the attack.
The first partner video she did was, well… It was a lot more technical than she expected. It wasn’t extremely professional by any means, but there was a lot more set up to it than her solo gigs, including multiple cameras and employees on the set. It reminded her distantly of the last time she’d been on set filming for that big movie before her accident, but she did her best not to let the ache in her chest linger, not when she had a job to do.
A part of Hime had half-expected a camera set up in the corner of the room, angled to capture her getting fucked on a bed, so she was surprised when she received a semblance of a script. There was a story to it, even if it was cliché and more than a little cheesy, with bland dialogue. No one expected them to give award-winning performances, but that wasn’t the point. As long as they did enough to set up the mood and scene, half the job was done.
The other half was getting fucked, and Hime, for her inexperience, could do that.
Even Mei Mei was there, standing on deck to reassure her in between takes and make sure she wasn’t taken advantage of or hurt, working as an agent in the middle of recording. If there was one thing Mei Mei knew how to sell these days, it was sex, and she knew Hime more intimately than anyone else after the videos they’d filmed. She was never crude about it, never lewd, but that was the point. First and foremost, she was here to make money, which was why she’d argued hard for this next step.
Hime wasn’t sure how well the video would do, especially when it was the first time she didn’t wear a mask for the entire video, so when the views started rolling in like crazy, she once again found herself overwhelmed. Before she knew it, her inbox was getting flooded with comments, and Mei Mei’s email was equally ringing with more business offers.
For a minute, Hime was afraid of how strong a response the video received, imagining back-to-back videos with different men and women, but Mei Mei, the clever businesswoman that she was, insisted they had to be picky. Hime wasn’t used to that – as an actress, she was used to taking whatever role she was offered, no matter how small it was – and she was such a small fish in a massive ocean that she was worried such a reserved approach might backfire on her.
But she was right to trust Mei Mei in the end. Not only had the offer she’d chosen for Hime given her more stability for a year, but it had also been a huge hit and opened up more doors for her. The premise was very simple: it was a six-video series in which she played a popular idol who was fucked by different people in each one. It gave her the chance to act more than before, almost reminiscent of the old days, and show off a side of herself that few people knew.
The consistent videos provided a steadier income, the views and money growing with each addition. Fans were excited for the next drop, eagerly awaiting any teases on her page. Sure, it was a little nerve-wracking whenever she was sent a new script and had to meet with a different actor, but by the last video, she almost felt like a pro.
Which was still ridiculous since she was essentially getting fucked for money. People weren’t tuning in for her acting or singing abilities. They were there to watch her get fucked in different ways by different people.
Even with different actors and scenarios, the consistency of the storyline provided Hime a sense of comfort she wouldn’t have expected from this business, so when it finished, she found herself worrying again. What would she do next? Another series? A round of unconnected videos? Maybe a short film? Mei Mei handled that side of their business, and she trusted her, but now that the rush of the series was over, it was difficult not to feel…
Used.
Mei Mei wouldn’t allow it. She always insisted Hime could quit if she wanted – it was her body, after all – and they were under no obligation to continue. The contract they’d scripted together specifically included that clause. Plus, it wasn’t like Mei Mei was hurting for money, and even Hime was more comfortable than she’d ever been in her life.
That was why the contract Mei Mei was currently negotiating was important. It was bigger than anything she’d been involved in before. This was essentially her foot into an actual studio, which employed a certain number of actors, actresses, directors, and more to film multiple videos with varying plotlines and tropes. She would be able to work with the same people repeatedly, though in different scenarios. Everyone was tested regularly. Strict contracts were drawn. There were more safety protocols in place than usual.
And it all came down to the talks they were having today.
Hime didn’t want to think her scar was the point of contention. Seeing as how he was looking out for his clients’ and this studio’s best interests, Higuruma had to bring it up. They had a lot more money here, which meant they could alter her face post-production to mostly erase the scar or use makeup to cover it up. The idea made Hime uncomfortable. She didn’t want to hide anymore. This scar was a part of her, whether anyone liked it or not, and she wouldn’t hide it to make other people comfortable.
She knew there were plenty of rude comments and messages about it, but Mei Mei had done her due diligence in hiring someone to comb through everything and shield Hime from them for the most part. A few managed to slip through, but the responses from other viewers were usually defensive of her and mocking of the troll. That was just the price of being in a business like this. Some of the same people who paid for and sought out this content also harassed them over it.
After another thirty minutes of discussing the details, the meeting finally ended with everyone standing up and shaking hands. Hime couldn’t deny being relieved about it being over, but now she was left with a new set of nerves, the jitters of the unknown. She likely wouldn’t receive word about her first job for another week, so for now, she was a new and unknown face on set. Everyone else here had already been here for a few months, if not longer, but they’d decided to hire someone new to shake things up.
And it was her.
“Let’s go get drinks to celebrate,” Mei Mei said decisively as they walked out of the office.
Hime smiled. “Sure – but nothing too fancy. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”
“Oh, darling, you don’t need to worry about that,” Mei Mei reassured her. “You’re going to be set for a while.”
The smile on Hime’s face faltered slightly. “Are you sure?” She touched her face without thinking. “He seemed a little hesitant…”
Mei Mei pulled Hime’s hand away from her face. “No, they’re eager, trust me.” She waved her phone in the air, showing off an email. “They’ve already sent me a list of ideas they want us to look through.”
Hime blinked in surprise. “Already? But we just left the office.”
“They sent it to me in advance, before contract negotiations,” Mei Mei replied smugly. “A studio like this requires fresh meat to keep things exciting, and you’re going to be their new star. I’ll make sure of it.”
“If you say so,” Hime said.
Mei Mei pulled up the email, scrolling through it idly with a manicured finger. “Hm, there are a lot of big names in the business attached to these concepts. Any of these videos will introduce you to a much wider audience, so with more visibility, even your past work will garner more revenue.”
Unable to deny her curiosity, Hime peered sideways to look at the email. “Big names, huh?”
“At least two of them have been in the business for a while, but make no mistake, they are still at the top of their game,” Mei Mei explained. “Some other up-and-comers, too, but very popular in their audiences. And with these ideas? People are going to eat these videos up.”
Hime had to fight the urge to fidget with her scar again. It was a bad habit, something she’d learned to do to soothe herself whenever she grew too nervous or upset. The only time that feeling died completely was when the cameras were turned on her, and a switch inside of her was flipped.
“It’s a bit nerve-wracking,” Hime admitted. “I’m still new compared to everyone else here, even some of the actors who are younger than me.”
In a way, it reminded her of the movie that ended it all. She’d felt like she was on the brink of something back then, only to lose everything in a matter of minutes. Here she was now, the ink still drying on a deal that would seal her fate for the next two years. What if it all went wrong? What if she hated it? What if she didn’t click with any of the actors or actresses here? What if she didn’t live up to their ideas of her, regretted the decision to bring her in, and started providing her with less and less material to work with?
“You’ve got this,” Mei Mei reassured her. “This might be a jungle, but I’ll make sure they don’t eat you alive.”
“Well, you can’t have your first client get taken out,” Hime added, sticking out her tongue. “How’s the new girl doing so far? I promise I’m not jealous that I’m not your only one now.”
“Kugisaki is doing great,” Mei Mei chuckled. “She’s a spitfire like you. We’ll have to do lunch soon.”
So much had changed in the past two years. Sometimes, Hime struggled to recognize herself, but it wasn’t because of the scar anymore. Even Mei Mei’s life had changed drastically when she decided to quit her job to focus on working as Hime’s agent. It was a huge risk for both of them, but so far, against all odds, it had worked out, even if Hime still suffered the occasional blowback in the form of a paparazzi tabloid article about her “switch” in careers.
“Oh, look, there’s one of the lead actors now,” Mei Mei pointed out, gesturing with a nod. “I think he’s talking with a younger actor on the roster.”
Hime followed her line of sight, only to nearly choke when she realized who she was looking at. “Is that–?”
“Mmhm, that’s Satoru,” Mei Mei said suggestively.
“I didn’t know he worked for this studio,” Hime mumbled, a little dumbstruck.
“Work for it? He’s their biggest cash cow. He’s got a stake in the company himself.”
Everyone in the business – hell, people outside of it – knew who Satoru was. He was incredibly popular, to the point where he even starred in movies and television shows outside of the porn industry. Honestly, he could have probably gotten out altogether, the dream for some of them, but he didn’t. Even she had seen some of his work, mostly as “research” when she and Mei Mei were a few glasses of wine in, and had to begrudgingly admit that he was hot, no matter who he was with.
Satoru wasn’t just attractive. He drew the eye in, somehow even more so in person than on camera, like he was made to be looked at and watched, like he enjoyed it. He was tall with shockingly white, soft hair, his signature crystal blue eyes hidden by a pair of sunglasses, even though they were indoors. Though the black Henley shirt and dark blue straight-leg jeans he was wearing now gave him the appearance of a more lithe swimmer’s build, she knew from his films that he was quite built underneath.
As if sensing more attention on him, Satoru’s head tilted just enough for his sunglasses to slide down the bridge of his nose. The second his eyes connected with hers, a wolfish smirk curled at his lips from around the lollipop he was sucking on. Hime startled, shocked that his eyes were seemingly just as blue as they were in his films. She’d thought it was something done post-production, but no, it was him.
Then, he winked at her, and she bristled like an annoyed cat.
Ripping her gaze away from him, Hime hurried out of the building, eager to be in fresh air again and away from overconfident men. She loathed that in this business. Some men got it in their heads that their big dicks gave them some sway in this world, but a big dick didn’t mean they were good on screen or in bed. She’d suffered at least one of them in her last series, but almost everyone in the comments talked about her.
She’s not a princess, one viewer gushed. She’s a size queen!
Hime wished comments like that gave her the confidence that men got just from existing.
“He’s a huge name in the business,” Hime said, “so I probably won’t be working with him, right?”
“Are you kidding me?” Mei Mei scoffed as she slid on her sunglasses. “Satoru is going to be the first person you work with if it’s the last thing I do.”
Hime tried not to sigh, knowing this was a good thing and Mei Mei was only doing her job. Plus, she didn’t actually know any of the people here, just their names through the business. This studio was different. She would get to know everyone, not just the actors but also the people who worked behind the scenes. She’d become familiar with them, like they were normal colleagues – except she had sex with some of them and others filmed it.
“Now, c’mon,” Mei Mei said briskly, looping her arm through Hime’s. “Let’s get those drinks.”
Hime followed without complaint, leaning into the excited beat of her heart. She had a feeling she was going to need a drink or two.